Adam Thinks #1: Payback, New Day, and Thinking Positive

Hello world. You don't really know me. You don't even think you know me (ha!). Let's change that. I'm a very long time wrestling fan that tends to appreciate the art for what it is. An art. Entertainment. An escape from the crushingly depressing real world of people NOT wearing tights and pretending to fight.

So with that in mind I tend to do what only eleven people in the history of the internet have ever done. I try to look on the positive side of things. I know it's not always easy in this art form we love. A lot of stupid stuff is out there. In WWE alone (where my primary focus will be), there is currently at least a dozen really depressing things. Some of which aren't even the audience.

I'm not here for that, though. I'm here for the good stuff. I'm here to share things with you that I enjoy. Maybe I'll even take to defending some otherwise not fondly thought of things, people, or ideas. I don't know. I'm not going to make up a bunch of predetermined ideas or categories to make up what my mostly regular column will be. I mean, I might make them up, but just because "Best Dressed Referee" tickles my fancy one week, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll see it next week, month, or ever again. Really what I'm going to do is what entertains me, while I discuss what entertained me. Hopefully this will also entertain you. Russell Crowe approves of this paragraph.

In the meantime, yes, my personal opinions will pop up a lot. Such as the fact that Cena can be both better than you pretend in pretty much every single way, and also still not be as good as a guy like Bryan in the ring. Or the fact that Cena is really only hated because your girlfriend cheered him and the rest was a justification after the fact. And non-Cena based opinions as well.
So, other than inadvertently pissing off the majority of the four people who decided to read this (3.28 of them to be exact), I'd like to use this column to give you a general sense of what it is I'll write about. Which is mostly that there will not be a set format. Set formats bore me. Just like they bore most people eventually. I love to just let it fly and ride the lightning of chaos. Which kind of sounds like a bad sic fi fantasy series. So basically what you should expect is the unexpected. And jokes. A good many of which will be awful, because that's just how I roll.

So enough of all that intro crap. Let's talk wrestling. After all, if you're going to commit to a relationship with me, instead of just a one column stand, it's going to be because I can put some actual meat down in between terrible puns and random observations. And there will be sooooooooooooooo many terrible puns, you guys. Let's talk Payback as we try to forget that Mel Gibson movie together.

Right away I want to hit on one of the hot button issues that seems to have arisen from Payback. The switcheroo pin by Xavier Woods, and the unintended Consequences (I warned you) of his involvement in the match. Apparently, people got the impression that it was sort of racist. One black guy switches for another black guy and the ref doesn't notice. Could the WWE be more racist? It's so obvious, right? Well, I've heard this negative talk about it swirling around the net and it kind of bugs me. I feel like a couple of things are being very heavily insulted with this sort of talk.

Let's talk about the switcheroo itself first. It was one of the best I've ever seen. If you haven't (or if you have for that matter) let me replay it for you. Kofi hits Cesaro with the classic neck snap over the top rope and falls back. The ref is turned away. Cesaro drops to the mat. Woods drops his vest and then sneaks in for the pin. He angles himself so that only his backside can be seen by the ref. From the ref's POV, all he sees is tights and hair. Guess what? That night, Kofi and Xavier's hair and tights were almost identical. The ref counts the pin and stands, facing partially away. Woods rolls out of the ring to the ramp side, where Kofi is sitting up. Woods stays low, moves to the other side of the ring, puts his vest back on and stands up like he never left. The only thing the ref sees when turning back to the correct side is Kofi sitting on the ramp.

Go watch it, or watch it again. Woods and the ref do AMAZING work in making it so that you can conceivably see this happening. Their timing and angles were damn near perfect. This was a classic finish done with almost pinpoint perfect execution. Yet because the participant was black, it gets the racist accusation levelled at it. This brings me to point number two. There have been less believable switcheroos than this. The Bellas for example make no sense pulling this off every time they've done it post boob job. The entire Bashams run should count as well, since those two didn't even really look alike. There have been others too, but you get the idea. What Woods pulled was a lot more realistic than some. Yet, we get cries of racism.

I feel like this does a great disservice to some very fine work put in on an important moment that ended a match that made all five participants look really good (minus Cesaro botching his own finisher or forgetting to sell injury halfway through the match, which we will never speak of again because it is against the rules of the internet to point out non-Cena based flaws). A great match and a great finish are being mired because people had a knee jerk reaction and put no real thought into it. Plus, the tendency towards a negative reaction probably played a big part.

Well, we mostly try to stick to the positive here, which New Day would approve of. So I urge you to rethink your initial reactions and really put some effort into it to see the brilliant work that was done. Then again, that's kind of par for the course with the wrestling fandom and The New Day.

Now, on a more general side about Payback AND to break out a snazzy category that you may never see again, I want to share five other things I really liked.

FIVE THINGS I LIKED
Payback Edition

Number One : I was personally kind of amused by what seemed to be "Different Classic Heel Finishes: The PPV". There was so much to choose from, and not always done by the heels. We had the "injure a guy and win because of it" heel win. We had the "just walk away" heel win. We even had the "get someone else to quit for you" heel win. We had the aforementioned "switcheroo" win. I thoroughly enjoyed the classic sense of the booking there and unlike some others, it didn't bring down my level of enjoyment to be stuck watching a "filler" show.

Number Two : Ryback vs Bray Wyatt. I know some people have expressed that number two would be a proper designation for the match, but those guys brought it at a level that surprised me. They told a really god story, they worked hard, and they both tried to do unusual things that set the match apart. I respect and appreciate that. Ryback went to the top rope, peeps. Respect that if nothing else (well, that and your elders). For once…I mean….and the commentary helped out, too. The three guys in the booth were pretty well on point during the match, and even corrected their attempt to turn the finish into a "lucky break" by admitting they were wrong and pointing out Wyatt doing it on purpose.

Number Three : Everything New Day. The overall match was great even before the finish, which I went over above. The promo a bit later in the show was also a thing of beauty. Milk in champagne glasses. Pinkies touching. Claims of clean living and positivity followed almost instantly by swearing and whining. Byron Scott jacking the catchphrase. It was all great, and respect needs to be given to three guys who are busting their butts to work a gimmick that the fanbase tried to kill before it ever got started. New Day does indeed Rock ladies and gentlemen.

Number Four : Rusev vs Cena. I know, I know. This is the internet, where every column is going to remind you that Cena won, and none of them will point out that he never actually went over Rusev. Rusev took all of Cena's best shots and kept coming to deliver his own. There was no indication that he was going to quit whatsoever. This idea that he's suppose dot be diminished by a loss in his column is kind of ridiculous because he never physically lost. He went even with Cena in what is widely regarded (in universe and out) as Cena's signature match. They even mentioned it in commentary quite a bit, with JBL selling HARD that Cena was basically unstoppable. They gave Rusev as big a bump as you can give a guy, with as big an out as you can give someone for not winning. They literally gave him a classic face loss by having Lana quit on his behalf. Now, other booking may not be up to par, and he may not get that next win over Cena (even though he should). But here and now, you need to look at what Rusev DID gain out of it. Which is a break even showing against a guy who's never lost that type of match.

Number Five : Kane and Rollins. I know not everyone enjoys them, but I do. They're like a bitter old married couple and every interaction they have makes me laugh. Kind of like Kane did when J and J tried to stand up at him in the promo early on. Glen Jacobs has this intense charisma that manages to make you really feel like he's struggling between wanting to be a good boss and wanting to strangle Rollins with some rope (or the swanky ties on J and J). Rollins is every bit the tiny little dickhead whiner brat. These guys play it brilliantly and consistently. They're always a treat for me and Payback was no exception.

So, that's my first column. Hopefully you enjoyed some or all of it. Hopefully it made you think. Hopefully it made you laugh. Feel free to let me know in the comments below. If you don't, I'll just humbly assume you are busy weeping form the sheer joy at having read such wonderful and awe inspiring work. Or that you're out in the world giving Bullhammers to random jerks and telling them to stay positive. I'd kind of approve of that more than I should legally admit to. Via con dios, whatever that actually means, and I'll see you later. Maybe I'll even develop a fancy schmancy signoff or something.