AWF was a replay from last week. So onto
Paragon Pro Wrestling. Side note, before both shows Craig Ferguson is on the commercial bumper for Celebrity Name Game.
Todd and Jeff run down our card for tonight. They are excited for the “pine box” match. We are brought to Pat Kelly to interview Hammerstone.
I was very surprised at how well Hammerstone came across. He says he is against Wes Brisco, says Wes has had great matches and is a great wrestler. “He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for his last name. Thirty years from now, Hammerstone Jr. will be carrying the name of a legend.”
Wes comes out to Reggae music and it bothers me. He hugs PPW lady too so that’s nice.
Announcers put over how Wes’ family started Hulk Hogan in wrestling which is a bad timed reference. They even go as far as to say if it wasn’t for the Brisco family we wouldn’t have modern wrestling.
Wes Brisco vs. Hammerstone
The announcers are very into Wes, it seems like he is being vocally groomed to be champion. I am being groomed to hate leg tattoos .
They say Wes is tough because he was part of a gang. A gang with wrestling legends.
Hammerstone seems to be waiting for Wes to catch up to him when they do certain spots. Wes seems to not be natural at all. As Wes is getting counted out, he sloooooowly creeeeeps to the ring. The ref says “7” and Wes grabs the bottom rope then stops moving. “8” pulls himself on the apron and stops moving. “9” rolls into the ring.
Hammerstone gets caught eventually and Wes sets up for the Brisco Bomb. Hammerstone’s partner Chamberlain comes out and says “Hey Wes”. Wes stops what he is doing and gets rolled up for three.
And I’m Like… I don’t know how to feel about this. It’s hard to judge wrestling ability on this show cause most of the wrestling is so basic and non-organic.
Darin Corbin vs Ethan HD
Corbin is the only PPW wrestler to hold two titles. He was an ex-tag team champion, now American Champion.
Ethan doesn’t even get an entrance. As a viewer that lets me know right quick who is winning.
Corbin makes the match enjoyable with his banter with the crowd. “I will come over there and punch your kids!”
Want further prove Corbin will win? He doesn’t kick out in time and pulls an Eva Marie . Ethan HD does a standing shooting star press for a two count.
Ref was in wrong spot for ref bump and they have to stretch to hit him.
Ethan almost wins but the ref is knocked out. The ref gets up in time for Corbin to win with a roll up and tight grab.
And I’m Like… Wrestling should follow Checkhov’s gun . Why is the ref bumped for a tights grab roll up. Ethan HD turns heel and beats up the ref and some good guys.
Kevin Kross vs Mikey O’Shea
We see a Kevin Kross video and he says a lot.
His gimmick is “I’m Manic” and he spits out lines while a
dial tone
plays.
- “We’ve never met, but I know you like the back of my hand”
- “When you meet me, you’ll feel like you’ve known me forever”
- “Look over your shoulder I’m never too far away.”
- “I’m the Toll Man, everyone has to pay.”
It’s like they hit record and he just rattled off would be catch phrases and the video editor was like “fuck it put em all in”. He must be laid back like Pringles.
Mikey always looks nervous to be out in the ring. He is good at taking an ass whopping though.
Kross is wrestling as his character, you can tell he is growing into it. O’Shea goes for a sunset flip and gets caught for the pin.
And I’m Like… It was how it was, it happened.
Tyshaun Prince vs. Gangrel
Cuban Assassin says the Pine Box match won’t happen cause Tyshaun is leaving. Then.
Matt Striker comes out as the new General Manager. He says Prince will be suspended if he doesn’t wrestle.
And I’m like… This was the shits. The match rules are the person who gets pinned goes to the box. They don’t say that Tyshaun doesn’t wanna wrestle and is afraid of the box until minutes before the match. The whole match is Gangrel threatening to put Tyshaun in the box, even though that wouldn’t win the match. Gangrel hits two DDT’s for the pin.
Gangrel puts the Assassin in the box?!? Prince is knocked out and Gangrel puts the wrong fucking guy in the box. Then Tyshaun hides from the box as the show ends.
I don’t get it. It’s like the show producers saw wrestling shows but didn’t know how to tell a story. It’s just like “Welp! Here are things that have happened on wrestling shows before”
Have a good one. Like and share and stuff please.
-Jake
