And I’m Like… (Reviewing Night of Champions September 20th 2015)

Blogs , Other Blogs , Reviews , WWE Network Reviews

8:03 pm September 21, 2015

Hey, this is a busy weekend with all this reviewing, lets cut the chitter and the chatter and get to the fact of the matter!

Night Of Champions Video Package-

Your typical ” I’m gonna win tonight, I’ll be a ‘put motivational thing here’

Intercontinental Championship-

The Ryback (c) vs. Kevin Owens

Ryback comes out with a little bit less energy than normal.
Owens walks out like he always does, sniffing the air a bunch and chewing gum.
Spanish announce table sighting, means one table will not be saved.
Owens says he wants to win to make more money and fight for a prize.
lol Cole says “Owens has been in Rybacks grill for a couple weeks now”
Ryback was Dom-In-Ating this early portion of the match
Owens turns it around with working on the arm. Usually this bugs me, but Ryback has strength based offense, so having one arm makes him powerless.
Ryback is doing well too, he is fighting with one arm and selling the injured arm when he executes offense.
LOL Ryback just openly says “MY ELBOW” to be honest though, I have a sore left elbow so I can imagine his pain.
Owens only gets reactions when he yells at the crowd or his opponent, he doesn’t get boo’d much either. I miss hearing someone showered in boo’s. I would never miss someone who showered in booze.
That ref is poop at one point! It’s a double clothesline, and the referee does not count to 10. The rules in wrestling, if both guys are not on their feet and motionless, you count, could be a double knock out or whatever its called. BUT IT’S A RULE DAMNIT!! or at least… it was a rule.
Ryback is so smart to move every time he says FEED ME MORE, he will move parts of his body in that cadence and it cues the crowd to cheer very well.
Ryback couldn’t hit the Shellshock cause his ‘shoulder’ hurts too bad. The announcers keep saying shoulder over and over and over. He screamed “MY ELBOW” earlier… not “MY SHOULDER” yeesh
Owens reverses another Shellshock, by racking the eyes, not by having anything happen with Rybacks arm or elbow OR SHOULDER…
Owens gets a roll-up victory

And I’m Like… I don’t know how to feel. The title is cursed, who ever touches it either always loses or gets injured. On the other hand Owens has a fucking title! Stepping stones my brothaa!

Ziggler vs. Rusev

This isn’t even a title match… since Lana isn’t back yet, this match does not matter
It should matter, it should, but you and I both know we will see the results in countless video packages.
I don’t know if I will write about it
I know I won’t write about this match….
I’ll tell you the finish, but in this game… to quote Joe from Big Pun’s hit Still Not A Playa “I Don’t Wanna be a Player No More” I’m not a player this just sucks alot
Summer Rae yells at Ziggler, Rusev hits Ziggler into Summer, Ref throws Summer out of match, as Summer leaves ring she throws one of her shoes out to the ramp, throws her other at the ref, ref ducks, shoe hits Rusev, Ziggler hits Zig Zag on Rusev.

And I’m Like… UGH!

Tag Team Championship Match

New Day (c) vs. Dudley Boyz

Houston does a “New Day Sucks” chant and not a “New DaySucks” stupid.
Xavier Woods has hair like Rufio from the movie Hook.
New Day has a petition to save the table, I signed it.
New Day says Obama signed it and got boo’s from Texas.
I’m sad the trombone is still a thing. It should get destroyed soon. Maybe finish this table storyline, start one about breaking the trombone. We can have a trombone funeral and Xavier will cry cause he has nothing to play TAPS with.
I forgot how boring the Dudleys are outside of Tables, 3D’s and Wazzzupps!
Kofi slapped the F out of D’Von’s head.
This match is so bleh! It’s because it’s built around using tables and the match is a normal match that does not involve tables.
Big E does that apron splash, but he slides off Bubbas face… It looked like it hurt and broke his back, the ref ran to Bubba and checked on him cause DAYUMM!
Xavier playing the Rocky Theme song was choice.
We get deep into the match, D-Von leads a clap, and the crowd is way into it.
Dudleys do a reverse 3D to Big E and a 3D to Kofi, Xavier breaks it up
Dudleys by DQ

And I’m Like… That was what it was, it lead to New Day being very very hypocritical and bringing out a table. That ends up having Xavier put threw a table… Either that is the end to the feud, or that was a blow off to an angle that was way way too early. This table angle suffers from Premature Evacuation

WWE Divas Championship match

Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella (c)

As Charlotte enters, she looks super excited, so does Becky, Paige looks like she got resting bitch face the whole match.
Charlotte with the glitter? C’mon….C’MON!!!! That is ridiculous girl.
Does anybody agree with me that Charlotte is like a lanky awkward girl? She is a superior athlete, her dad had an amazing social gravitas. She did not inherit that, everything she does outside of wrestle in a ring is AWKWARD!!
Nikki spends the whole match working over Charlotte’s leg. Charlotte acts like she really injured it, has such worry on her face.
Nikki is the most creative tonight, she does so much stuff to Charlotte’s leg, but gives us a cornucopia of moves to see. Submissions, attacks, figure fours around the ring post, apron work, suplexes into ropes and turnbuckles, dives off the top rope driving the forearm to Charlotte’s leg, punches.
Charlotte for real just makes cry faces and gets beat up until she hits the Figure-8 for the win.
Ric comes out and cries his face off. The emotion pride: face looks extremely sad outside of the smile.

And I’m Like… That needed to happen, then we get one rematch. That should lead to the other eight divas having a tournament for number one contender. That way we get weeks to develop characters, this 3 on 3 on 3 cannot continue. Great effort by both girls, amazing match if the crowd would give a damn, but we can’t. It’s undeserving girl that’s been champion forever that now deserve’s the title vs. undeserving girl that uses her dads persona to advance that wrestled her ass off in NXT and deserve’s it.

We legit cut from the announce booth for ‘BREAKING NEWS’ and it was Charlotte and Ric having the most awkward promo of the night. They seem to earn that award whenever they are on screen together. It’s weird seeing Flair not treat women as objects….

The Wyatts vs. Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Chris Jericho

Jericho comes out and I pick one of two endings, Jericho eats the pin and this story about Bray pushing a ladder that Roman was on 4 months ago continues. Wyatts lose and Strowmans mysticism and unbeatableness ends.
I would like to know how that handkerchief in Harpers back pocket does not fall out, it’s gotta be sewed on right?
During the free months of the Network, we always get like Undertaker or Jericho or Dudleys or Sting, people from yesteryear. I think its a marketing tactic to get Network subscribers. That hurts the product right? Maybe it doesn’t, maybe they just want to see the guy they liked, and then don’t unsubscribe cause THATS DOIN TOO MUCH! So it does hurt the product, cause the story wouldn’t matter if your going for nostalgia fans. The fans that cheered all that non-PC shit. lol
Braun struggled lifting Jericho over his head….. That made him very man-like, not beast-like.
Bray Wyatt and Kevin Owens is an intriguing feud. They both wear shirts, thats why it popped in my mind. Kevin Owens family would have to be involved. It’s a character based on Money over everything cause FAMILY!! vs. I want to just fight cause chaos and babble cause I’m CRAZY!!
The Wyatts cut the ring off perfect and just work over Roman Reigns, he gets all Ragdoll kitten like and lies lifeless on the floor.
Jericho hits a triangle dropkick on the guys on the apron while beating Bray in the ring. He tries to induce a struggle of putting Wyatt in the Walls of Jericho except Bray was already rolled over expecting it to be a quick turn.
Ambrose and Wyatt hit a double clothesline… you know what the ref does…. holds Deans head and talks to him. then just stands, gets on his knees, walks around. COUNT TO 10!!! JUST DO IT!!!
Roman Reigns gets on the ball and beats up the Wyatt family, he rocks Strowman a bunch of times and just as he is getting ready to finish off Brawn, Jericho tags himself in and gets beat.

And I’m Like… Stupid Reigns and Ambrose… Corey Graves during pre-show said it should be Samoa Joe, I agree, next up, pick a new partner that can stand up to these guys, only a matter of time before Rowan comes back and we get a Sheep tag team. Then its 4 on 2 you guys!! It’s already hard enough to find one good partner.

WWE United States Championship

Seth Rollins (c) vs. John Cena

If Cena wins does that mean Seth gets his rematch clause? Can that happen? Just trade wins/belt for a few months and be synonymous with the belt? I don’t know if it’s a good idea, but has it happened?
Seth and John have real good chemistry and timing. Everything they do looks on point, it doesn’t feel forced or rushed, it feels organic. It’s hard to appreciate sometimes, not this match though.
Seth should just take a chair to Cena, boom match 1 done, still champ.
Pinfalls before the finishing move sequence used to bother me, I never understood why, if it was pre-determined, would you even have someone go for a pin when they know it doesn’t end until a finisher happens. Then I began to realize its so we as viewers can digest what just happened, can understand that the move just done did a bit of damage to the recipient. A stone does not crack off of one strike, the one strike that cracks it was one strike added to thousands.
Cena feigns that he is dazed, he starts to hear boo’s, he cracks a smile and I am amazed at the physical schizophrenia of Mr. Cena
Once Cena attempts the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, he is relentless in his pursuit to finish the move. If it gets reversed one or two times in a match, he will still find a way to hit it. As I type this, he does not go for a third attempt. So yeah, bullethole in my foot.
Cena reversed the running bucklebomb with a hurricanrana. Everytime Seth runs while holding someone in the powerbomb I get D’Lo Brown flashbacks of when he dropped dudes on heads. Accidental of course.
Cena has like a 5 subset moves of doom. Code Red/Sunsetflip Powerbomb, hurricanrana, springboard stunner, tornado ddt, standing diving leg drop. It’s amazing.
JBL “and the two people enjoying this, Sting and Sheamus” I’m sure more than two people like this match JBL
Cena hits standing leg drop and AA for the win

And I’m Like… Wondering where we go from here, there is no way that Seth can beat Sting clean, that would make Sting the weakest… Open challenges start again? Seth get his re-match? If he loses to Sting, does he get both rematches at Hell in a Cell? Rollins tries to walk away, Cena AA’s Rollins on the outside and rolls him into the ring. I swear to God this next match cannot be competitive.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sting

If Sheamus came out, won the belt, is the Sting match against Sheamus or Rollins? The feud is about a statue not a belt… So Sting comes out, and I thought of a scenario for no other reason than to waste time apparently.
Sting starts with a Stinger Splash. My cousin and a regular at my restaurant both call Stings, Scorpion Deathlock ‘The Stinger!’ Cause the first time Sting applied it on television, Cole forgot the name and just said “Sting with, THE STINGER with a submission to win” That stuck with some people I guess.
Rollins does that Shawn Michaels thing where he is thrown into the turnbuckle and flips around.
They brawl alot more than I expected. They go onto the English announce table, Rollins pushes Sting onto the Spanish announce table and Sting bounces violently
The Spanish guys knew it was coming too, they stood up and grabbed their documents, the sound guy jumped the barrier. I wonder if they are warned or just paranoid.
Seth tries walking away with the title, the crowd boo’s. Lawler goes “he is about to show his true colors” Seth walks back and keeps wrestling.
That makes me think, with how often the odds are stacked against Rollins, are we slowly supposed to start supporting him?
Seth is not selling a thing from the last match. This should not feel like a brand new match. That table bump should have evened the odds for Seth. It should not have shifted momentum. If some dude legit fights the toughest guy and loses, the fight right after that would not have the loser in top shape. Honestly I forget he just wrestled while watching this match. I don’t know how it could be done different, maybe Rollins holds his back? Maybe he can’t do some of his normal move set? I don’t know, some sort of adverse effect from the previous encounter.
Rollins gets shoved off the top rope by Sting, Seth doesn’t seem hurt at all, he fights just like he was tired and thats all…. I don’t think I like this, maybe it’s all relative. Cena does it and I’m fine with it cause I’m used to it, and his reaction usually is based on crowd response. Rollins just keeps taking huge moves, he loses, takes finishers, more huge moves, and still wrestles like he is just out of breathe and that’s all that is affecting him.
Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop and he fumbled a bit on the cover, it made it seem like he would have one had the pin been fluid transitionally from the Drop.
Sting goes for a 10 Punch in the corner, gets Bucklebombed and….
Sting’s body does not look good, he just collapsed. Rollins did not just go for the pin, which makes me think its planned. The ref keeps turning his mic on and off by adjusting the switch on his back, the doctor comes in. It is scary kind of, this guys body is giving out because of some botched move. Maybe it wasn’t botched, it looked normal in execution. This is where the theater takes over and the sport evaporates.. They will finish this story no matter what, and it is somewhat disturbing. What ever is going threw Stings head is pure motivation to finish or die trying.
They go threw two Scorpion Death Lock spots and two Pedigree reversals until Rollins wins with a roll-up.

And I’m Like… Legit worried for Sting, he is rushed out to the back as Rollins celebrates, this brings out Sheamus with a Brogue kick to Rollins. He tries to cash in but The Authority hits Kane’s music. Kane chokeslam’s Rollins and Sheamus asks Kane to do it again. Kane chokeslam’s Sheamus, Tombstones Rollins and we go off the air with mixed emotions of worry, sadness, and boredom of a Sheamus/Kane feud. That will need story and not just, you cost me a title so we wrestle for months.