And I’m Like.. (Reviewing Raw April 11th, 2016)

I am a little late to this party. Let’s cut the chitter chatter and get into RAW!

Raw Opening

We start with a graphic of Blackjack Mulligan who died this week. He is the grandfather of Bray Wyatt and Bo Dallas. You can tell that the eye’s and nose run in the family. Rest In Peace sir.

Shane McMahon comes out

• Is he running Raw? I don’t know. Did he say he was leaving last week? Yes. Did he run Raw after that? Yes…
• Vince shows us a tweet from WWE that says social media made such a fuss that Shane gets to host Raw again… This is weird.
• The more Shane runs Raw the less his jump off the Cell means.
• He says what’s up to L.A.  they respond with a “Shane O-Mac” chant.
• He says that Vince let Shane run Raw for his own amusement. Shane says that Vince must have been pretty amused. He then thanks the fans for being so vocal and so pro-Shane.
• Shane is either holding in burps or he feels sick and is powering through it. He says Natayla vs. Charlotte for the title tonight, also a Tag Team Number One Contender Match for the New Day’s Titles. Shane congratulates AJ Styles for being Number One Contender against Roman Reigns. Shane says Sami gets to face AJ one-on-one. If Sami wins he gets to enter the Title Fray.
• The crowd “Yes!’s”

Kevin Owens comes out

• Shane pulls his best Mark Halperin and says “with al due respect”
• Owens doesn’t think Zayn deserves an opportunity while Owens gets nothing.
• Owens says he wants his Intercontinental championship rematch
• Shane says Owens has to earn the shot at The Miz.
• Shane says he sees a guy pacing and running around since 2:30. I think he is referring to Mojo Rawley.. It’s actually better than that.. IT’s Cesaro.

Intercontinental Number One Contender Match

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

• Cesaro tears off his suit and has a Cesaro Section shirt on. He also has skeletal tape on his shoulder meaning it’s not fully healed either.
• The match starts with some waistlocking and standing switching. Cesaro out wrestles Owens who has to roll to the outside to re-plan his attack.
• The camera cuts to the back with Miz and Maryse watching the match.
• Cole runs through what the IC has been through the past two weeks with Owens losing to Ryder in a multi-man WrestleMania ladder match. The next night Ryder lost to the Miz with help from Maryse. On Smackdown Miz won his rematch.
• Cesaro is getting the better of Owens with switching headlocks. Cole points out that Cesaro wrestled for two months before he realized he tore his rotator cuff. I remember writing about a Cesaro match where he got thrown over the top and went right to rubbing his shoulder. The rest of the match seemed off. I assume that was the time the injury happened.
• Owens is sure to put on a reverse wristlock which I call the NXT lock because everyone in NXT or that was in NXT will use that hold.
• Owens knows he was being outwrestled so he is starting to work on Cesaro’s formally injured arm.
• Cesaro is selling the arm. JBL points out that when you have tape on your injury it actually makes it a target. It also helps the crowd understand the limb based offense.
• Cesaro starts holding his shoulder after almost every move he hits. He even has to convince himself he is strong enough for the Cesaro Swing, but he is not.
• We come back from commercial with Cesaro getting a nearfall.
• Cesaro is thrown into the ropes and flips over the top and lands on the apron. Cesaro hits Kevin with a boot to the face. Cesaro then climbs the ropes and does a cross body to Owens who rolls through it and puts Cesaro in the Crossface.
• They battle back and forth by countering the crossface and reapplying it. Cesaro then is able to apply the Sharpshooter to Owens.
• As Owens crawls to the ropes the camera cuts to the back with Maryse and Miz sitting down on a couch watching the match.
• Owens is able to knock Cesaro down and hit a YUGE frog splash for a great near fall.
• Owens calls for the pop up powerbomb. Cesaro turns that into a springboard spinning eurocut.
• Cesaro then goes for the swing but his shoulder gave out.
• Owens capitalizes and hits a pop up powerbomb. Cesaro lands on his head but rolls through and is able to pop up and hit the Neutralizer on Owens.

And I’m Like… Kayfabe worried for Cesaro’s arm. Real Life worried for the back of his head after that powerbomb. These two were able to tell a great story, have amazing nearfalls. I love how the WWE style is relying less on kick out’s of finishers and more reversals of submissions and counter wrestling of finishers. Owens is screwed out of a match and Cesaro gets an IC title shot.

We see a video replay of Natalya challenging Charlotte to a match and then a backstage segment of Charlotte and Ric Flair talking about how everyone picks on Charlotte and Dr. Phil shows up… says that Flair is holding Charlotte back.

Owens is shown yelling at Shane McMahon about how screwed he is getting. He then does a “with all due respect” line again… That is funny, I wonder if it is a subconscious plug.. Shane feels threatened by Owens and tells him he is kicked out of the building for the night so he doesn’t screw with Sami Zayn.

New Day Promo

• New Day comes out talking about NBA Jam. Saying the tag division is ON FIRE!
• Havve you noticed when New Day walks out Xavier is in the middle as they talk, once they get in the ring Big E is in the middle. I wonder if that is conditioning us, like Xavier is the talker and the manager so outside the ring he is the leader. Once in the ring we are preparing for Big E, who will be a top challenger to Roman Reigns soon.
• New Day says the Contender match is a tournament and shows us the brackets. It will be Uso’s vs. Social Outcasts, Golden Truth vs. Vaudevillains, Enzo and Cass vs. The Ascension, and Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz.
• They said no team will beat them but it will be fun to see them try!

Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz

• We come back from commercial with the match already underway. The Dudleyz are in control of the match.
• Bubba starts pounding on Sin Cara and talking all kinds of ish.
• Devon tags in and Sin Cara is able to fight back, every time Devon throws Cara into the ropes Sin Cara does springoard attacks and stays one step ahead of Devon. ONce Bubba gets tagged in we get a 3D. That’s the match.

And I’m Like… Kalisto is injured and we missed it… That was weird. The graphic for the tag tourney is great though. The New Day are on unicorns and knock a cereal box over which spills into the brackets.

The doctor is still out helping Kalisto.

Enzo and Cass comes out. Enzo reminds me of Lou Albano. They got the crazy eyes and the same type of New Yawka voice. Bubba had a heavy New Yawk accent until Enzo showed up. For real check out some heel Lou Albano stuff and you’ll see how he is like Enzo. Enzo even has the weirdest hairstyles, Albano stood out by hanging rubberbands off his face. Enzo calls D-Von Devin… Enzo said the only reasons he exists is because his parents got it on How Ya Doin? Enzo and Cass seem to have a cup-ah hate-ah’s. Hope Kalisto is ok…

Backstage we see Kevin Owens escorted out in his Tapout gear.

Roman Reigns Promo

• Coming out to some solid boo’s. I get my regulars and little cousin asking me all the time why the fans don’t like Roman. The general conscientious seems to be that the Silent Majority like him but the squeaky wheel are the fans that are against him. Problem is, the squeaky wheel people only spend money on live show tickets. The Silent Majority of fans but Roman’s shirts and seem to give WWE enough incentive to keep pushing Reigns as their major star.
• JBL points out how Roman is a badass but people don’t like him.
• He goes into his new catchphrase about how “he is not a good guy, he is not a bad guy, he is THE guy”
• Roman is talking like he doesn’t have a script. You can tell when the bullet points come up though because he pauses before he says some certain line.

League Of Nations comes out

• sans Barrett because they kicked him out.
• Sheamus asked how scared Roman would be to wrestle one of them from Payback.
• No one is scared of LoN.. Especially when Roman beat all these dudes last year.
• Rusev wants to be the face of WWE, he won’t be. He is the Nikolai Volkoff to Roman’s Hulk Hogan.
• What is funny is I am watching WWF Tuesday Night Titans and they are just now pushing Hogan as a star before WrestleMania 1. They way they push Hogan is similar to how they push Reigns now.
• The League comes out to beat on Roman Reigns.
• The Wyatt’s come out and save Roman.?
• They all throw the LoN out and Bray stares at Roman, things get tense but Shane McMahon comes out?
• Shane says he digs the Wyatt’s teaming with Roman Reigns. Shane says he wants to be selfish and see more of it. Roman and Bray vs. LoN in a main event match. Why did Bray come out though? Will we ever get an explanation?

And I’m Like… I usually don’t like Roman segments. Even though that segment really didn’t make sense, it was exciting and new. Let’s enjoy it before we hate it. I don’t know the story going in, let’s see if we need one!

Women’s Championship Match

Natalya vs. Charlotte (c)

• Byron interviews Dr. Phil….
• Charlotte comes out and looks like she is a queen. With the robe and the blue, we need a Queen of the Ring tournament. Throw some female referee’s in there too because they don’t seem to exist.
• The bell rings and Charlotte Woo’s in Natalya’s face.
• We get some waistlocks and standing switches. Charlotte and Nattie have wrestled twice before in one-on-one matches, this is the trilogy that hopefully will give Nattie her first win.
• Nattie was attempting some sort of choke but Charlotte does a massive spinebuster. Natalya is able to get an armbar on and Charlotte goes to the outside.
• Charlotte is really coming into her own as a heel wrestler. She goes to kick Nattie who catches Charlotte’s foot. Charlotte then screams “oh no! no! I didn’t meant to” then she goes to slap Nattie seconds after the sentence came out of her mouth.
• Charlotte gets a nearfall and yells at the ref for not counting fast enough. AS she is yelling at the ref she blocks his view of her choking Natalya with her foot.
• We come back from break and Charlotte has that leg scissor neck lock on and is flipping Nattie all over the ring.
• Charlotte does a flash figure four, she doesn’t go for the bridge and Nattie is able to reverse it.
• Charlotte gets mad and then puts Nattie in the Sharpshooter. Nattie is screaming in pain and Nattie fights out of it.
• Nattie hits a sweet looking German suplex off of a chop counter. She goes for a second but Charlotte reverses it and Nattie comes back with a roaring discus punch. The nearfalls are really picking up
• Charlotte went for a moonsault and Nattie moved. Charlotte has no where to go but Nattie has the Sharpshooter on. Ric Flair tries to interfere, the ref didn’t let him. Ric pulls the ref out of the ring while Charlotte taps… The ref calls for the bell and says Nattie won by DQ. The belt will not change hands on DQ. Dr. Phil says he love s the woman’s division and he is proud of them.

And I’m Like… Was this match and story only hear because of Dr. Phil or because it is building to something bigger? That was a fun match, lots of layers and stuff. That ‘s the kind of stuff I like.

S ami Zayn Interview

• Renee walks through Sami’s storyline and his awards if he wins. Sami says he has heart and sould and no one can that away from him.
• AJ Styles shows up tells Sami he will be the only Number One Contender.

The Uso’s vs. Social Outcasts

• The Outcasts are in full force. Adam Rose is rocking a robe that looks like The Genius’ robe had sex with John Morrisons robe.
• This match is five minutes in and Axel is working on a headlock…
• Slater and Axel both were previous Tag Team Champions while they were members of Nexus and New Nexus. Slater and Axel never were really a team though.
• Heath gets a nearfall and Bo leads a Bo train.
• Axle and Heath are celebrating and The Uso’s push them out of the ring and get a rollup on Heath for the win.
• As The Uso’s celebrate Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows show up. Is he Doc still or Luke? Don’t matter because they are DESTROYING THE USO’s it is almost Too Sweet.

And I’m Like… That is a way to get me to like an Uso’s segment. Gallows and Anderson must be upset they aren’t in the tournament. They are from Japan where there is tons of tournaments and series’ and stuff. That is something I am interested in and can’t wait for Raw or Smackdown to see what happens.  The Bullet/Balor/Styles club might not be a thing.

We come backstage and Maryse is complaining about blue M&M’s while Miz has cucumbers on his eyes. Maryse says “do we look like farmers?” Because Miz only drinks European imported water.

JoJo shows up to interview The Miz. Maryse stops the questioning and calls JoJo a Miz groupie. Miz runs down Cesaro and Cesaro shows up lookling like Agent Smith. If this is the matrix we know Seth Rollins is the architect.

AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

• This is kind of a dream match right?
• “Ole” chants rain down on Zayn, they aren’t too loud though.
• Cole points out that Sami is taped up because of his last few weeks. He wrestled Nakamura 11 days ago. Ladder match 9 days ago, fatal four-way 7 days ago, and a tag match 4 days ago.
• The match is pretty even, Sami is controlling it with arm work. The crowd “ole’s” while JBL tells us how important the WWE Champioship is.
• The crowd starts heating up with “AJ Styles/Sami Zayn” dueling chants.
• JBL makes another astute statement saying that Styles and Zayn fought so hard to be here, that this match is kind of a proving point for their abilities.
• AJ hits a snap suplex on Sami who kicks out at one. AJ goes right to a reverse chinlock because he knows Sami has a lot more energy than originally thought. AJ turns up the aggression and knee’s Sami squarely in the head.
• The theme of then night is waistlocks and standing switches. There isn’t too many collar and elbow’s or test of strengths tonight.
• We come back and see that AJ hit a reverse GTS or a fireman carry neckbreaker for two.
• AJ sets up for the Styles Clash bu Sami has the move scouted and is able to small package Styles. TWO!!
• Sami is landing big move after big move and the two counts are getting longer and longer.
• Zayn goes for a halfnelson suplex but AJ is able to turn that into a Pele Kick for two.
• Zayn and Styles fight a bit longer and Sami is able to hit a blue thunder bomb after dodging a punch. FOR TWO! “This is Awesome” from the crowd.
• AJ puts the calf crusher on Sami who is selling the move SO SO SO WELL! HE is reaching and grimacing and biting his knuckles and tensing up more, HE MAKES IT TO THE ROPES!!
• The crowd is reacting to every move these guys throw now. They got em you guys! These two got the crowd in the palm of their hands.
• AJ goes for a sunset flip off the top rope. Sami lands on his feet and dropkicks AJ. Byron lets out a super loud WHAAT?!?!
• Sami goes for a Helluva kick, AJ gets foot in the face of Zayn and hits the phenomenal forearm for the DUKE!

And I’m Like… The Commentators are very impressed by the match. They keep saying “these superstars are made for this stage” What a match you two!! That was fantastic, hard fought matches to stay challengers makes the title that much more important. I was wondering if this was 6 months ago we would be having Big Show and Ryback in a match. Oh how far we have come.

We come back from break and Sami and AJ are hanging out, winded, in the back when Shane greets them. Shane walks up and tells them how awesome they are and how we all appreciate it. AJ and Sami give a Firm Embrace

Highlight Real w/ Jericho

• Dean Ambrose is his guest,… I saw Jericho and fast forwarded it til I saw who came out. Dean brings out potted plants because he is back to goofy Dean Ambrose.
• Ambrose let’s Jericho know that Shane has canceled Jericho’s show and now we are watching the “Ambrose Asylum”
• Ambrose has a good sense of humor that doesn’t carry well in a wrestling ring. It’s the type of humor my staff and I have. Where you act like you are dumb and don’t understand stuff. Like, a regular was talking about building bluebird houses. So naturally my server and I asked him why are all his bird houses going to be blue? Doesn’t he have different colors. He kept trying to tell us its BLUEBIRD and a house for that Blue Bird. But we sold it like we didn’t understand and kept asking about yellow birdhouses, blackbird houses… That type of stuff. It is hilarious in the moment but not too funny later. Dean Ambrose is the same way. He rags on Jericho’s scarf and wants to know where he got it. Jericho says it was $700 and then went off on a tangent.. Ambrose wait’s then says “so you gonna tell us about your scarf or what?” I am sure if it was a private setting and only a few people I would find that hilarious, this segment? Not so much.

And I’m Like… That segment only existed to start a program with Ambrose and Jericho… I am nervous for what they will do. This seems like a perfect feud, but there are so many ways this could go wrong. Let’s hope we can stay entertained and invested!!

More Dr. Phil… I am about done with that

Apollo Crews vs. Adam Rose

• Adam Rose doesn’t get an entrance. Axel and Slater are not out here. Bo is though. Bo supports everyone. He is the greatest.
• The crowd is quiet because we all know Crews is winning this one.
• Adam beats on Crews and screams “is that your man?” the crowd does not respond.
• This is a showcase match and Rose has a reverse chin lock on… I mean your only on TV so much, might as well make it count. Ain’t nothing Showcase about a headlock.
• Crews hit his finisher quickly after that.

A nd I’m Like… I get that this is still an introduction to Crews, but for those of us that are NXT Faithful, this seems like a waste. He was never given a character in NXT and he hasn’t yet in WWE. I hope he can get deeper than “athletic”

Primo and Epico welcome us to Puerto Rico.

We get a Baron Corbin video package too. Him beating up Dolph Ziggler.

Bray cuts a dark room promo. You know Method Man and how he breathes and sucks spit in while he raps? Or Big Pun snorts when he breathes in? Yeah Bray does that… It kinda bothers me.

Bray is a good guy now, or will be soon. He said the city name before his entrance, he saved Roman from an attack, Cole mentions how many fans or fireflies Bray has.

Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus

• Bray and Roman start the match by trying to determine who will enter the ring first. Bray tells Roman to leave who says no. Wyatt acts as if he were leaving but then opens the ropes for Reigns. Roman ends up not starting it. Wyatt keeps blind tagging after Roman blind tags.
• Both men are handling the LoN quite easily.
• Roman is fighting hard and everytime he starts making headway the crowd boo’s him so badly.
• They don’t like Reigns so much that they will even “Si” ALberto. They will even Si him when he sets up that lame ass finisher.
• Sheamus is still working at cutting the ring off so Bray is frantically pacing on the apron back and forth.
• Once Roman tags Bray in the crowd lights up. Bray is so energetic, urgent, frantic, and delibrate. He is perfect for a hot tag and he is so fast paced that he can keep the crowd invested the whole time.
• Roman comes in to help Bray and the crowd boo’s. Roman is taken out by Sheamus.
• Rusev tries to take Bray out but Wyatt kicks out.
• Strowman and Rowan show up to beat up Rusev, just so the match is even.
• Del Rio goes for the cross armbreaker
• Wyatt reverses that into Sister Abigail. Sheamus goes to break up the pin but gets speared.
• Wyatt looks at Roman with his arms out. IT’s like Roman has to go to his weird cousins house in Baton Rouge. HE sees his cousin with his swampwoods friends, Roman knows he can’t really trust this stranger, but at the same time he seems so inviting.

And I’m Like… I am all in on cheering for Bray! The Roman dynamic is interesting. Roman and Bray might be able to do a double turn. IT will be a great few weeks! After the AJ match I will be more interested in seeing how Bray will turn up.

Shane ran another good Raw. This was a fun episode of Raw that rarely lagged, let’s hope they keep this up!

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Have a good one!

-JAke