Hey everyone, like and share and all that. I’m gonna catch you up quick on my cabbage story. My wife saw our caretaker digging in a plastic bag, she was pulling out green peppers. My wife said “Your the one leaving heads of cabbage at our door” the caretaker says “No!! I’m lookin to steal some veggies but these are all rotten.” My wife responded with “Well, I wouldn’t eat food randomly left at your door.” My caretaker says “Yeah, I know, I didn’t eat the meatloaf that was left at my door.” WHAT THE HELL!?!?! Who just goes around an apartment complex and just leaves food?
Raw Video Package and Intro-
- We see Seth getting his statue and it being Sting in the video package, then we find Sting vs. Seth for the title at Night Of Champions.
- Sting comes out, his music has too much going on in it to gauge crowd noise.
- It’s still really weird to see Sting on WWE TV. He is gonna be in a title match too…. weird.
- Sting starts his promo and I hope to myself it isn’t too long, this guy loses his luster fast too me the more he speaks.
- Sting is verbally blowing HHH by saying he is respecting him no matter what happened at WM31.
- “As good as Seth Rollins is, he still isn’t HHH” -Sting.
- Bruno Sammartino has not wrestled for 50 years and saying his name gets a pop still. That is amazing, for real, I bet maybe less than 10% of the audience were even alive when Bruno wrestled.
- Sting says when he beats Seth Rollins, he will capture the WWE Title that has always eluded me.
- This has to be typed verbatim because Sting’s word choice could have been better, he also does almost a singy voice when he talks. “At Wrestlemania HHH was man enough to stand up and shake my hand after he beat me. And at Night of Champions I’m gonna prove that on his best daay. Seth Rollins is not half the man that HHH is. I’m gonna prove that Seth Rollins is a little boy, and that little boy is living in my world right now, so LITTLE BOY YOU BETTER BUCKLE UP CAUSE YOUR IN FOR A HECK OF A RIDE!!”
- LOLOLOL what Sting? WHAT!?!? That had to have been improv right? No way that script passed through more than one person.
And I’m Like… Seth says Sting is spitting in his face.. Why? Sting Jared Fogled the damn game Seth. You don’t need to see shit. That promo had me cringing half way through. You can tell Sting is passionate though.
Dolph Ziggler w/Lana vs. Rusev w/Summer Rae
- I WANT TO BE OVER THIS!!
- I mean I get it, its a feud with no end planned, so they just keep feuding, and if you worked with someone that purposefully dated your ex just for sex and bragged about it, and your work is fighting people, you would probably fight that person alot. alot, alot. They both said they moved on though…. These four should be done and trying to stay away from each other. As an adult, if there are people I absolutely cannot get along with, especially if they are a bad person, I STAY AWAY from them. I am cordial yes, but why are Dolph and Lana still picking this fight? Outside of Rusev who are people that are even remotely good spirited?
- The crowd chants “Let’s Go Rusev/Rusev Sucks” and “Let’s Go Lana” as Dolph wonders to himself where all his crowd support had went.
- HOLY Shit though, this match is long… They do a spot where it was almost a double count-out and I was legit pissed they both made it in. That means that the match will continue
- I know I read this somewhere on the Internet, but what would happen if Brock Lesnar piledrove Rusev? Those tattoos line up and I’m sure some demon from HOSS HELL would be summoned.
- Summer broke up the pin, for why I do not know, either way Rusev lost. There is a cat fight. That needs to happen though so we can differentiate between cat fights and wrestling matches. I’m thinking thats why this mixed tag has yet to happen.
- Lana and Ziggler make out, the same way AJ and Dolph did to get boo’s. JBL says “PDA on this show bothers me, my mother watches this show.” Byron responds with “I Love It.!!!” Well alright Byron.
And I’m Like….NO SUMMER NO!!! Dolph got interviewed by Rene Young in the back, he goes into his locker room, as Rene keeps talking Summer sneaks into his locker room. THIS IS SHIT, what the hell, What did Rusev do to anybody? He loved his girlfriend so much he changed his life for her, she was the reason his momentum stalled and wouldn’t apologize for it cause ‘she cared’, she cared so much they broke up so she just found the first swinging dick to hit her. NOBODY SWINGS THEIRS MORE THAN DOLPH, they say “yes we are doing this just for sex to make Rusev jealous” Summer feels bad and helps him out as a friend. All four begin to actually develop a relationship with their new partners. NOW because Rusev beat Ziggler one night, almost lost another, feuded forever, NOW SUMMER is like, yeah F Rusev Imma go do DOLPH… Rusev drop all these hoes. For real though.
Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch
- Nikki Bella starts a countdown clock until Nikki becomes the longest reigning Divas champion in WWE History.
- I want someone to beat her, retire the damn belt, start a new history of WOMEN WRESTLING
- Becky Lynch reminds me of B.E.N. from Treasure Planet , in fact, her whole gimmick is just Treasure Planet the wrestler,
- Is it wise to actually time womens matches?
- BECKY OHMIGAWD!! She says a promo and it bothers me so much.. she goes “I’m the B in PCB and I can be a real B when I want to..” SAY BE at the END Becky, I’m begging you, it needs to BE said.
- Two minutes in and the crowd is dead, No claps, chants. nothing…. thats sad
- How can three minutes on Raw feel like 30 and 30 minutes on NXT feel like 3?
- Becky wins at 3:21, they make it seem like its impossible to beat… yeah, I just remembered Beat the Clock is usually lackluster in its finale.
And I’m Like… I like that this time is spent on the women, the beat the clock too! The only problem is, for some reason, its so melancholic.
The Ryback gets interviewed, he says, “It’s the Big Guy vs. The Big Show” he keeps trying to talk and they cut to Summer running away fast and crying while Dolph chased her with a towel but went back into his dressing room. YOU GUYS SUCK!!!
- Big Show and Rybacks music makes me tired, Bella’s music makes me have to pee. You know you watch a bit two much pro rasslin’ when you get a Pavlovian effect from entrance music.
- THIS FEUD IS STILL HAPPENING!!!
- Do you think these guys look at the sheet in the back and go “they are just gonna keep writing it til it’s good huh?”
- Miz likes to see two big guys beating each other up. That explains why he never gets out of this feud.
- Big Show grabs the mic and jabbers to the crowd mid match… Ryback tries to slam Show, but he couldn’t.
- Show is right, Ryback just acts strong. Miz says he wants to see someone come out and defeat Big Show. Miz,,, buddy… YOU ARE FEUDING with the guy lol, you admitted you can’t beat him… haha jeez.
- “If you lose your championship, you are no longer a fighting champion” -The Miz
- As this match happens, I can’t help but think, why IS The Big Show always on TV. For how special he is, how is he on TV having normal matches almost 100 times a year? Brock is a ‘special attraction’ Show puts people over who ‘think they are strong’
- Miz got involved and the good guy Ryback gets the distraction victory…
And I’m Like…. Why would that end that way? Well cause Miz said he likes when big guys beat on each other. You gotta make it so the finish isn’t clean if you wanna see this continue. Miz… your like the only one that wants this. That’s why we boo you.
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
- Charlotte do not read your script like that on your promo ever again please…. She said I want this like “IWANT? This… I WASBORN for…. this.” Get your timing down, speak from the heart, don’t be nervous SOMETHING.
- Anyone against Brie is gonna get the fastest win. She is the Barry Horrowitz of this Revolution.
- Charlotte won very quickly. Natural Selection like One minute in..
And I’m Like… Are the Intro/Outros longer than the matches? What can I say about 1 minute of ‘action’?
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
- Can these guys get a storyline? What is the storyline? Respect?
- Cole says this feud is cause Owens said he accomplished more in three months than Cesaro did in three years…. That’s why they wrestle each other for a quarter of a year… Because they are accomplishing things..
- Owens was telling Cesaro to remember last Sunday when Owens beat him in the ring.
- They start wrestling, the crowd goes into coma mode.. Not cause its boring, but you can only watch the same episode of Seinfeld once a weak before the jokes aren’t funny anymore. You’ll still watch it, cause of course George wouldn’t accept that he was fired and go back to work. You aren’t invested in it though, you know that he will just have the same job or different job next week. He will still be George Costanza.
- I guess what I’m saying is, too much of a good thing makes you ungrateful for even the best wrestling.
- Cesaro and Owens on the top rope will ALWAYS be dangerous to me.
- I LOVE how Owens yells at Cole at least once per match lol. It separates him from the roster though.
- Cesaro might have broken a rib when he hit the end of the announce table. If he really did, what strength to do this match. If he didn’t WHAT A SMART FINISH. That would be how you protect your babyface.
And I’m Like… Well if I have to watch the same guys wrestle every week, this is probably your best two options for people. I am just fatigued by these match-ups. Onto the New stuff.. I feel bitchy today, am I being bitchy?
Ziggler is talking to Lana, he says she saw him naked and he put the towel on and she ran away… Yeah right.. that was like 20 minutes dude… She just stood there to run away? I don’t feel bad for Lana, she deserves that, I do not feel bad for Dolph, he is lying. POOR POOR Rusev.
Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman
- Bray thanks Sister Abigail for bringing Braun to him.
- Bray’s cadence is getting so good, he has such excitement, Bray says mankind is trying to predict when the end of the world is. Sigmund Freud said it was September 23rd 2015. So we are close Bray!
- Strowman says this is the Apocalypse.. well duh the Four Horsewoman reformed last Saturday!
- Ambrose comes out and Roman comes out separate.
- It’s weird to see a non-NXT wrestler. I kinda like it, it brings me back to when I only watched Raw and Nitro an I had no knowledge of the wrestlers out in the world. I’m sure Strowman has experience, it seems like he is such an enigma because I have never seen him wrestle.
- The crowd seem to be sharing shoes with me, it is just quiet. Not quiet like bored quiet, there are murmurs in the crowd. People are talking, they just don’t know how to react.
- Ten years ago this dude would have been feuding with Undertaker.
- Ambrose was just getting his ass kicked, Braun pushed Roman and Reigns got involved.
- Bray and Harper just let it happen, Braun singlehandedly took care of Reigns and Ambrose.
And I’m Like… That was pretty sweet, Strowman even no sold a chair shot. Let’s hope Rowan comes back in the tag mix, or else, damn, dude just got kicked out the group. This is the new mix to the feud that was needed, excited to see where it goes.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
- Please last longer than a minute, please last longer than a minute.. That was me when Sasha’s music hit, and me in high school.
- Paige says “The divas division has been misrepresented.. it’s not about high school drama” right Paige.. like we all forgot about FRENEMYS…
- Ugh Sasha comes out and my heart sings and cries. She is on TV thank God. She is wrestling in a beat the clock with a minute forty.. we know we only get the Boss for ONE MINUTE FORTY SECONDS..
- Would I rather her lost to Becky in three minutes? No, I don’t know, this should have been Tamina…
- I am really a brat when it comes to this sometimes.. I should just enjoy the chance to see my favorite in the ring. If Daniel Bryan was out there for a minute, I would be so grateful. If Sasha was injured and this was her comeback or last match, I would love it so much. It is none of those and I’m upset lol.
- Sasha rolls out the ring after getting Rampaiged, so Paige did not beat the clock and the angle whimpers to the finish line.
- This moment is lame, the video package will make it mean something next week.
And I’m Like… Nikki comes out and holds the belt up… There it is, I think Nikki becomes the longest reigning champ before Night of Champions right? This is so a build to Charlotte being champion, that is when this all kicks off right? I don’t know. I feel like I should enjoy it more.
Summer is interviewed, she says Dolph asked her to talk from his dressing room. She lies, who cares what she says next, who cares… She is a liar, we saw her go into there without being asked…
They cut to crying Lana, crocodile tears.. She deserves it. Not anything bad after this though. Slate is clean, she can move on and not be a bitch. Maybe team with Rusev as a platonic relationship to ruin Ziggler.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
- Xavier Woods comes out looklin like Denzel Washington in Malcolm X
- New Day talks about how good tables are, how we should save them
- Big E brings up having a weird Uncle.. We all do Big E.
- They bring out a bubble wrapped table, they are begging the Dudleys to break it by doing that.
- They get the crowd to New Day clap “Save TheTables”
- Prime Time Players are on commentary again. How weird is it, they aren’t in contention right now, they still commentate on the matches.
- Prime Time Players says they are waiting to cash in their rematch clause.
- Darren says Xavier Woods hair is lookin good, Titus don’t agree cause Xavier don’t got his ends cut.
- I can’t believe the champs are already wrestling the Dudleys, we can’t have patience if we aren’t given the chance to develop it.
- Darren Young stops the match commentary to ask Titus what is for dinner. Prime Time Players are becoming more and more Rain Man like. Titus is Tom Cruise.
- The Dudleys win with 3D
And I’m Like… The champs are the underdog in this feud right? That sucks kinda, New Day does all this work just to lose all the time. WWE brings in TNA talent and quickly puts them on top of their divison.. lol. I can’t wait for Night of Champions when the Dudleys finally get their title shot… What should have happened is the title chase was the first month, once New Day cheats to win. Dudleys say we want a table match, then the story is about putting New Day threw a table, maybe month three is dedicated to just Xavier cause he hadn’t gone threw it yet. I don’t know, if we watch these guys every week, maybe not blow the whole story on week one.
Seth Rollins was gonna call out Sting, Steph came out and talked about how great HHH was. Then Cena came out and said he is getting a title match for the U.S. Championship the same night Sting is facing Seth for the World Title.
And I’m Like… Why are the odds stacked against the bad guys this week? Weird.. Well that Cena thing happening blew my cousins idea out the water. My cousin though Sheamus would cash in on Seth, Seth would lose, but then point out that Sheamus did not specify what title so he gets to be U.S. Champion and Seth keeps the World Title. I guess it could still happen, Sheamus would actually need to be on the show though.
I’ m excited for NXT this week, not sure about Raw next week, we will see. This Raw went by pretty fast, I guess I enjoyed it.
You guys have a good one. Remember to like or share or tweet, maybe tell a friend verbally, like “hey I read this blog called And I’m Like”
-Jake