And I’m Like… (Reviewing Raw December 14th, 2015)

Welcome to another edition of And I’m Like. Italics for personal. Regular font for rasslin’

Monday was CRAZY, half the power in my restaurant went out. We have a circuit breaker on  220 volts. We have a toaster and dishwasher that run on 220 volts. Without getting too technical.. Look at this.. blew my mind. They became light switches!!

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Since many of my regulars that are wrestling fans do not have The WWE Network, they come into my restaurant to get results of TLC. The thing I heard from most of these people, is that they can’t believe Roman Reigns did not win. “They are never giving him that belt.” Is something I heard a few times throughout my day. Writing about wrestling and visiting wrestling sites, puts me in a community. Being in this community I tend to forget what the general wrestling fan populous thinks. Usually those people that read reviews and dirtsheets know more about the product than is necessary. My regulars just watch what is presented and develop their own opinions without any other perspective. That I believe is the majority of WWE’s fan base. My cousin for example, is 14. He knows wrestling is scripted, but he still questioned whether or not HHH getting stretchered out was real. Smarks will see that Roman is in the corner and HHH is in the opposite so we know a Spear is likely. Other people don’t see it that way, other fans think Roman is getting screwed over again and again. They don’t care about his promos or his wrestling ability. They like him and want him as champion, simple. It’s nice to get that perspective from time to time, it takes the pessimistic wrestling fan out of me.

Raw Opening

• We get a video package of Reigns almost winning the title but getting screwed over.
• The video accents Roman snapping and injuring everyone in his wake with a chair and fists. A man pushed too far. He was trying not to lose his head. Ah Ha Ha.
• Lillian Welcomes us and Philadelphia to Raw and introduces

Stephanie McMahon

• Steph comes out with super serious face on. Nobody do her like she do her.
• Cole said Reigns was pushed to the limit but we think he went too far.
• Before Steph can talk she gets boo’d. “as far as our society has come, women in power are still seen as cold hearted, vindictive, and ruthless” She says take away the money and education and I am just like you. She says she is a wife and a mother. She victimizes herself as having to see HHH get speared. It was a nice jab to say that if you take away money and intelligence she is like me, broke and stupid.
• Stephanie said she will be cold hearted and vindictive. The crowd cheers, they are cheering because we have a definitive bad person on the show now..

Roman Reigns Comes Out

• The crowd pops pretty big for Roman. Mainly girl screams.
• Stephanie looks at him with pure disdain.
• “Thank You Roman” from the crowd
• “You see I’m a father too. Today is my daughters birthday, with that said I don’t feel bad at all for whipping your husbands ass.” Stephanie said you got a lot of nerve Roman for wishing your daughter a happy birthday, you don’t take this seriously. “If you gotta something witty you better bring it cause I’m ready” says Stephanie with so much conviction.
• She rubs it in Roman’s face for losing and says he does not accept the responsibility of being a failure and disgrace. Roman questions that he is a disgrace? He tells Steph “No you and your husband are a disgrace” and the crowd pops. “your whole family is a disgrace” Followed by Yes! chants from the crowd. Stephanie does her slap and Roman keeps laughing, so she slaps him over and over and over. He gots welts on his face!! She said one more thing, and slapped him again. She then said she won’t fire him because her husband asked her not too. Someone might though, and it’s her dad Vince McMahon.
• JBL promises that if Vince is coming, hell is coming with him.

And I’m Like… That was good, the crowd was hot, the emotion was there. The good guy appears good, The heel has reasons to legitimately be mad. Steph can play the hurt/vindictive boss very well. Her slap usually ends the segment but Roman Daniel Bryan’d her and just laughed the slaps off.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

• JBL says Dean Ambrose has all the talent in the world but he is not championship material.
• “let’s go Ambrose” fills the arena and dies out quickly. Cole and Byron try and put over how important this match is for Dolph. They say he could get a win and be in contention and if Dean beats Dolph he gets a win over a former World Champion.
• As the match progresses, the crowd cheers during bigger spots but don’t have much energy. Cole and JBL discuss that not since Stone Cold Steve Austin has someone this crazy been Intercontinental Champion.
• There were many-a-nearfall traded and the crowd counted 1,2,OOOHH for everyone.
• Not since Seth Rollins can I think of a feud Ambrose has truly been in. He hasn’t been able to show much character or sink his teeth into any story it seems.
• Philly is chanting “this is awesome” after a nearfall. Dean goes up top, Dolph tries to reverse with a top rope facebuster but Dean throws him off the top and hits Ziggler with a top rope dropkick.
• Beautiful spot with a Superkick by Ziggler and the crowd pops huge for it, then Ambrose hits his rebound lariat. The crowd gets louder.
• Kevin Owens arrives without his theme song, and the crowd reacts accordingly with surprise and interest. Owens ends the match.
• Hits a Pop-Up Powerbomb on Ambrose and the crowd boo’s! After a second Powerbomb to Ambrose, Ziggler comes in and beats up Owens, but Kevin Powerbombed Dolph Ziggler too.

And I’m Like… That ending worked so well. There was a match people were into, Owens finished it with interference, the crowd boo’d. Wrestling works so well when there are boo’s and cheer’s when there are supposed to be. This Raw just feels different. It feels energized, it feels exciting. Love it.

Owens is walking backstage and Jojo catches up with him. She says we know you are upset about losing the Intercontinental Title. “No one knows.” He says he doesn’t need to explain himself to anyone. He says this is just the beginning, he says he won’t stop until Dean Ambrose is insane and institutionalized. He won’t stop until he takes back his intercontinental title.

Team ECW is in the back talking about how they got beat up. He says they learned from this city, that no matter how many times you get hit, you come back and keep on fighting. The promo is interspersed with old ECW footage that is popping the crowd. Team ECW challenge The Wyatts to a match.

Stephanie is in the back waiting on Vince. She is pacing back and forth by the door.

R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas

• I am super surprised to see both these guys. This feels fresh on RAW.
• Bo hits a shoulder block and runs a victory lap. Yeah BABY!
• This match only exists to cut to the back and see Vince McMahon arriving. The crowd pops huge for it, poor Bo. Vince sent Stephanie back to Connecticut to take care of her husband.
• R-Truth and Bo stopped wrestling to see Vince. When the backstage skit ended, they realized they were both caught up in the moment and started back wrestling again.

Vince McMahon Comes Out

• HAHAHHA, This is Attitude Era for sure. Who cares about the match Vince is here. That gives the show a sense of unpredictability. If it happens a lot this will be played, but this is the first in a LOOONG time so it is super cool.
• The match ends at Vince’s demand.
• McMahon says he has Roman in the back sweating profusely because he doesn’t know what it’s like to stand in front of Vince. “It would be like standing in the presence of God Almighty”
• Vince takes a chair and scares the crap out of Byron by just sitting next to him.
• McMahon says Roman is gonna sweat a bit more. Commercial break!
• This guy knows his audience and how to keep them tuned in. The timekeeper tapped Vince on the shoulder and told him we are back from break. Vince stood up and said “Well let the bastard sweat”
• The crowd is still entertained and McMahon shoot sat in a chair for 3 minutes. He enters the ring and.. “Roman Reigns come and take your medicine.. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”
• Roman’s music hits and he comes down the ramp like a normal wrestler should!
• Roman still waited for the heaviest part of his music to kick in before he went into the ring. That added gravity to the situation with that type of musical score.
• Vince says “I can tell your intimidated that’s ok, I have a presence about me that I can’t help” Vince then says “Before I make up my mind… apologize” The crowd chants “no”
• Vince tells Roman to get on his hands and knees to apologize. “There was a time I would beat an apology out of you.” Roman laughs at it. Roman is Mr. Give No Fucks right now. Vince takes his suit coat off to beat up Roman.

Sheamus Enters

• Sheamus says “Excuse the interruption, it’s not like I don’t think you can take him, I just want the honor of beating an apology out of Roman.”
• Sheamus asks to challenge Roman tonight. As Sheamus rams his opinions down Romans throat and gloats of his past accomplishments. Roman sells it perfectly, by biting his jaw and looking at the ceiling. Sheamus wants to put the belt on the line and the crowd goes CRAY.
• Vince asked if they want to see a title match tonight? Crowd pops and Vince says “you fall for that every time.” Roman takes the mic out of Vince’s hands. “Why not old man? You used to talk about these big grapefruits, now you got shriveled prunes. Face it your 70 years old and time is passing you by.” Vince says “you son of a bitch, you got your match, but if you don’t become champion tonight.. Your FIIRREEDD.”
• Vince goes for a handshake and then kicks Roman Reigns in the nuts LOLOLOLOL
• Roman tries to stay tough but all that ball talk don’t mean anything after getting kicked in the balls.

And I’m Like… Learning that if you want a title match in WWE you make fun of the champions testes. Tator tots? Prunes? Anything small will do. The title match is set for tonight. That is exciting. Raw feels like a happening tonight.

Jack Swagger and Ryback vs. Rusev and Alberto Del Rio

• “We want Lana” by the crowd even though she is at ringside.
• It’s nice to take the two feuds people care least about and just put it in one match,
• Del Rio went for a running enziguri and hits it, problem is, he stutter stepped and had to make eye contact with Ryback before Del Rio ascended the ropes to hit the kick…. that shouldn’t happen at this level.
• As Ryback is fighting out of a chinlock Philly chants “we the people”?
• This match is dead in the water, the chants are even off.
• Once Swagger gets tagged in the crowd wakes up a bit. A Swaggerbomb is reversed into a reverse into an ankle lock. Del Rio hits the back cracker.
• The match breaks down and Swagger eats a basement kick to the face then a superkick and gets pinned.

And I’m Like… That match happened, it needed to to continue these stories. These stories don’t need to continue though.

We are back with The Rosebush. Adam Rose said that rumor has it that Charlotte needs to be like her father. She still needs to win 15 more championships, get four marriages, four divorces (she has one already), needs to win and lose money numerous times to be like her dad. Then we see a photo of Tommy Dreamer guzzling chocolate because Tommy is gross . Rose says he is so orange from spray tan, that he looks like Ernie from Sesame Street.

Byron Saxton says Rosebush is better than wikipedia.

Tyler Breeze w/ Summer Rae vs. Neville

• This is a good match up only because I don’t know who will win. They both have tangible qualities to win.
• Miz comes out asking for quiet on the set. So I’m thinking Breeze is going to win.
• Miz comes out and acts like he is a director. He sits in a directors chair and it says “moneymaker” on it.
• This is a NXT Pedigree match, where both guys are NXT on the WWE Network guys.
• Miz yells at Neville to “work it Neville, really wrench that neck, I need more from you Neville.”
• The crowd is comatose for this. Miz is telling Neville to suplex Breeze, Neville doesn’t listen.
• This might be turning into something, I think Breeze will win or else Neville wouldn’t be wrestling him. A win over Neville on Raw would help Breeze over all and a loss by Neville has no affect on him because he is in the middle of a story with The Miz.
• Breeze is getting an advantage and Miz yells “cut cut cut, take it from the top” that distracts Breeze and he gets kicked by Neville. Neville hits the Red Arrow for the win.

And I’m Like… Well color me surprised. Neville won, Miz thinks it’s because of him, Neville doesn’t. Neville… it was cause of The Miz. Breeze got distracted by him only to get kicked by you. Interested to see where this goes.

Neville and Miz are in the back arguing. Neville is like “what do you want from me.” Miz says Neville could be in Star Wars Episode 8. He calls Neville ears Dumbo like. Miz needs Neville’s help also. He wants to be James Bond, he wants to hang out with Neville to learn his accent. Neville says “all I am gonna say is this, that stunt you pulled tonight, you ever do that again and I’ll shove it where the sun don’t shine” Miz just kept practicing what Neville said lol.

The Wyatts are cutting a promo about how they are The Way. That makes me remember that they were doing the 3D and calling it The Way, they haven’t really done it since then.. Braun and Bray said something but I couldn’t catch it cause Lucy was crying.

8-Man Extreme Rules

Team ECW vs. The Wyatts

• What I like about this match is both teams got backstage interviews. It makes this match mean more than if it was just announced and happened. This feels like the second main event outside of The World Heavyweight Championship match. The New Day keeps getting advertised too.
• When the Wyatt’s entrance was done the crowd chanted “ECW”. I remember how many people experienced ECW 15 years ago that are in the arena now. The people that were fans of ECW don’t seem like the people that would like this product the WWE presents.
• The announcers keep talking about how ECW was great and where it was located.. JBL stick to your gimmick, 10 years ago you HATED ECW and Blue Meanie .
• This match has weapons and brawling and spitting and slamming, it’s hard to follow. The announcers keep talking about ‘the bingo hall’ and the camera doesn’t know what action to follow.
• That is until The Dudleyz do their signatures. Luke Harper wrecks both Dudleyz before they can GET THE TABLES..
• Tower of Doom spot onto a chair, that would have been cooler if I din’t hear Bubba yell out “1-2-3” and they all went for it.
• Rhyno lights the crowd up when he starts fighting all the Wyatts. That surprised me. They were mostly on their hands for most of the match until the signatures.. Rhyno got them to pop just off punches and looking around.
• Luke Harper has Tommy Dreamer set up and is trying to Powerbomb him off the ramp. Dreamer reverses it to a Death Valley Driver off the ramp through two tables. “ECW” chants from the crowd.
• Dreamer gets driven through the barricade Oklahoma Stampede style and Dreamer just lies there almost in shock yelling “oh my back, oh my back” and he looks up at the time keeper and just looks scared. That is either real pain, or the greatest selling I’ve seen in awhile.
• Harper hits Bubba Ray with a kendo stick and bounces it off the ground. Bubba catches the bounced kendo stick and goes to town on Harper, Harper takes Bubba’s legs and takes him down, it’s a two on one fight with Dudleyz on Harper, Harper fights them off until he get’s 3d’d through a table. Bray hits Sister Abigail on Devon. Rhyno comes in and starts a fight with Erick Rowan. Bray is able to sneak in and Sister Abigail Rhyno.
• This match is 100 times better than last night. As the crowd “This Is Awesomes” Cole chants it with them.. It was strange.
• Erick Rowan splashes Rhyno through a table for the win.

And I’m Like… Doctors aren’t helping Dreamer so he might be just selling… Damn. The Wyatts look like a true team and they win in dominate fashion. That was a war. The Wyatts are becoming known for wars. That got a standing ovation from the crowd. JBL says The Wyatts are now the Kings of Extreme. That should be a good end to that feud. Unless the Dudleyz get two more ECW people, maybe get rid of Dreamer and bring Spike in.

The New Day Promo

• New Day come out limping of course. They are wearing red jumpsuits like they are refereeing for WCCW. They are official New Day track suits.
• It is a legit Puma tracksuit. They are going through the match and letting us know how crazy the match was and how much they respect the guys in the match.
• Big E says a match like that changes your perspective on some things, they invite The Uso’s out.
• New Day says the Uso’s earned New Days respect.
• This reminds me of Hardys/E&C/Dudleyz. Three teams in a ladder match that all respect each other after a war like that.
• New Day is smart, knowing they almost lost so bury the hatchet and not have these two teams be contenders.
• Kofi is being real… super real. He puts over the risk everyone did. This is like curtain lifting. This is real cool. Reality Era type moment.
• Kofi is awesome when he decides to “be real” it adds a bit to his statements.
• The crowd is applauding all the guys. Kalisto was mad that Xavier threw a trombone at his back. Xavier apologizes for doing that. The good guys don’t believe the New Day. Kalisto calls the Uso’s Uce. How many guys in the back call each other Uce?  Is that the new Brother?
• New Day said that these three teams took the tag division to the next level. Just like the teams in 2000. The New Day says they did all that for the fans. This is like the most babyface promo.
• New Day offers their hand in a show of respect. The Uso’s and Lucha’s look to the crowd and ponder the gesture. Uso 1 says he hit his head too hard last night but they all shake hands.
• New Day says they were completely sincere about everything they said, but now they are taunting and having their moment. Uso’s and Lucha Dragon’s look on like they are upset. Big E takes off his shoes and the good guys come in to beat up New Day and the crowd BOOO’s as well they should. Hella boo’s.. Raining Boo’s.

And I’m Like… are you trying to get us only to cheer New Day? This is a great way. They are allowed to celebrate.. This was a great segment that ended in such a confusing way.

Becky Lynch and Charlotte vs. Brie Bella and Alicia Fox

• Charlotte and Becky and Ric come out. They all look way happy. Becky looks like a goon. Charlotte is stoked to strut with her dad. Can we hate Charlotte yet? I’m already doing it, but it isn’t accepted yet.
• Team Bella is wearing matching gear, Charlotte and Becky are not.
• “We want Sasha” fills the arena, like it should. Where is Team BAD? What did they do to not be featured EVER?!?!
• They are legit sitting in the crowd watching this match, like last night we caught a glimpse of them watching the match. What the hell?
• Team BAD is clapping and cheering for Becky even though Charlotte is in the ring.
• As Becky’s hot tag is building, the crowd chants for Sasha Banks.
• Sasha is legit being a better fans than the fans. She cheers and counts the pin.
• Ric Flair reminds me of Pops from the Goldbergs , like he is that weird super supportive old guy who thinks he is still young.
• Flair puts Alicia Fox in position for Becky to lock the Disarmher on.

And I’m Like… Layers in this match. The crowd wanting Team BAD, more specifically Sasha Banks. Team BAD cheering on Becky Lynch. Becky Lynch not realizing she won from a Flair cheat move. A lot of pieces in place.

World Heavyweight Championship Match

Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus (c)

• The League of Nations sans King Barrett are talking to Vince in the back before the match.
• Sheamus comes out first because the crowd won’t cheer him as much. We get a few seconds of anticipation for Roman Reigns music. He has already been out twice, so the pop for him is TINY!
• How many kids are watching this with legit fear. Like they have been pulling for Roman since Royal Rumble or Survivor Series 2014. Now they have never really experience McMahon, never saw Roman do what he did last night, and never had Roman’s job on the line before.
• Cole and JBL and Saxton sell it well too. “Roman is taking it all in, this might be his last time coming down the stairs.”
• Sheamus is playing Stan Stasiak and Roman is Bruno if Reigns wins.
• The tag division sold last nights beatings better than the whole roster. No one was limping or their offense didn’t change. New Day couldn’t even walk proper. That’s why they are the best.
• Roman may be a badass, and Mr. Give No Fucks right now. I am still on the side of thinking he believes he is entitled to be champion and that makes me mad. Please let it build to a legit Roman Empire, where he feels like he is owed everything. Changes his personality, disrespects Dean Ambrose, the whole shebang. That has to happen in like 2 years though. Build the Batista like babyface turn but with Roman. Since Roman is the new Cena we need to start the “Turn Roman Heel” complaint lol.
• The match is back from break and we got like 10 minutes of show left. That makes me weary that this will end clean. We are in such a precarious position. Reigns aggression last night lit a spark in the universe. If he just gets screwed again tonight, it will be more of the same and the enthusiasm might wane.
• If Roman wins or the match is a barn burner with a surprise at the end then the enthusiasm will be waxing like hell.
• Whenever Roman kicks out at two Cole goes “and he almost lost his job.” “Roman almost got fired”
• I would be more nervous that Vince is at ringside listening to the crowd and watching the match.
• Vince is staring at Roman with so much spite. I really missed Vince. Watching him watch this match blows my mind. This dude has lived and breathed wrestling for over 40 years. He put his life and livelihood on the line so many times for the sake of his company. He bought his competition but kept their history on film. He loves this business more than anyone on Earth I bet. For him to be 70 and still be invested enough in his product, to still grow, to teach HHH the ropes. This man is such a treasure, anyone that says he is stupid or out of touch might not know what they are talking about. You need 10,000 hours of practice to be considered a master and Vince has over 20,000 hours by the turn of the century. HE KNOWS HOW TO PRESENT WRESTLING.
• Roman and Sheamus have the crowd eating out of their palms. Roman Reigns is busted open from a headbutt. He superman punches Sheamus and almost gets a three count but Vince took the ref out and forced the ref to wait it out a bit.
• A white noise by Sheamus and Cole goes “Roman Reigns career is over” Reigns kicks out and Vince is talking to the ref.
• Sheamus pushed Roman Reigns out of the ring and League of Nations come out. ADR gets caught with a punch but Rusev hits a superkick. Reigns Superman Punched Rusev. He punched Sheamus. He punched McMahon too. Got caught with a Brogue kick and kicked out at two while Philly is on their feet.
• WWE is putting on a hell of a show. Something got into this staff and I’m loving it.
• Sheamus lining up another Brogue Kick and then he gets hit with a Spear… The most protected move in wrestling.
• Roman wins the belt. Roman wins the belt?!? Roman wins the World Heavyweight Championship…..

And I’m Like… Like Stasiak and Sammartino before them, this was a classic Transitional champion to make a new babyface star. This is Iron Shiek and Hogan, and the crowd.. The PHILLY crowd is on their feet cheering Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns who had no help, not from his friends, or his best friends, or his family. He still wins. wwe.com has a video up of Roman celebrating with the Uso’s and Dean Ambrose. The Roman Empire group hugs. The Uso’s hold Roman up on their shoulders as he holds the title upside down and Vince looks on. Roman then grabs the mic as Philly chants “Roman, Roman” Roman says “quiet down or I’m gonna cry again” “For real though, it wasn’t that long ago, at Royal Rumble you all know it was rough. A lot of my progression and focus came from that night. In a weird hindsight, thank you so much guys. Life ain’t fair, sometimes you gotta kicked in the ass to get better. Thank you so much, I’ll never forget tonight. He wishes his daughter Jojo a happy birthday and is excited to go home. Also R-Truth stole McMahons limo?

And I’m Like… Wow! What a Raw… That whole show was just great. The bad slow parts were there but they were few and far between. Moments felt special. Roman had a heartfelt speech that won EVERYONE over. I can’t praise this episode enough. Thank you WWE and Vince McMahon and Roman Reigns. Sheamus too for making this moment happen. And you know what? I am asking… What will happen next week? That is a cool feeling.

Have a good one. The debate is on again, I’m a big fan of the early debate because it has more substance.

-Jake