Sorry for the late entry, yesterday I had a work meeting that went long and was home too late to watch Raw. It is Wednesday, but I have avoided all wrestling news so I can watch the show spoiler free. Let’s get to it!!
Monday Night Raw Opening
There is a video of Martin Luther King, very good video package like normal. We should give some time to pioneers in wrestling for the African-American race. Ernie Ladd , Abdullah The Butcher , Bobo Brazil , Bearcat Wright , Sailor Art Thomas , Shag Thomas , Luther Lindsay , Burrhead Jones , Sonny King , Sweet Daddy Siki , Viro Small
We are live in Columbus Ohio..
Roman Reigns Comes Out
- We start the show off with the familiar guitar riff that is Roman Reigns theme song.
- Cole reminds us that Roman is against the odds, he defends his title against 29 other men in the Royal Rumble. They should put a woman in that match and have it be the first time a woman gets a title shot.
- We see a video package of Brock Lesnar rocking and rolling over the WWE Roster.
- Roman says tonight he only cares about one man, Brock Lesnar. He wants to finish the fight from last week.
Chris Jericho Comes Out
- Ugh
- Jericho comes out in a suitcoat and pants but no shirt because of course he does.
- I don’t get why his character doesn’t work for me. He obviously loves wrestling and knows how to work a card and build a program. He is just the MOST annoying. Like a kid in a restaurant whose parents let him run around and do whatever he wants.
- He says he is out here to make his Highlight Reel the biggest one of all time and recreate the snowstorm Raw from last year where Roman and Brock talk to each other.
- Roman says if Brock is gonna be there he will too and “Believe That”
League Of Nations Come Out
- There theme songs underrated.
- Sheamus says they are in the rumble too so don’t forget they can win. He shuts down a “you look stupid” chant. Will that chant continue after he changes hairstyles?
- Sheamus does a horrible joke about Jericho eating his shirt??? I mean I should be able to come up with a better one, but I think the joke is just Jericho in that outfit.
- Jericho does a joke about Sheamus looking stupid. Del Rio starts off saying perro and stuff.
- Del Rio points out he won the biggest Royal Rumble in history.
- Jericho is cutting the whole team down and trading barbs, while Roman stands there and is bored by this too.
- Thank goodness Rusev saves the day by saying. “In Bulgaria, every day is the Royal Rumble. I had to kick kids off the bus to go to school. MY family would throw a steak in the middle of the ring, so I had to fight to eat.” He said one of them will win. Jericho said he didn’t understand him. Rusev said he wasn’t that smart.
- Jericho asks Roman who won the Royal Rumble last year? Roman said he won the match and threw out the guy they couldn’t understand (Rusev) then Jericho has a penis joke. Problem is, last few Rumble Winners were Roman, Batista, Alberto Del Rio, and Sheamus. Sheamus who threw out Jericho, making Jericho’s statement even worse.
- Rusev calls Jericho a stupid little Canadian.
- Roman says he isn’t busy right now, so he wants to shut Rusev up. Jericho just decides to make a match like last week… He even makes himself special referee.
And I’m Like… Is Jericho gonna have striped pants, or referee shirtless? That was a lame set-up. At least people are wrestling for a reason, but since when did Jericho decide to run the show? I think the reason NXT is always a better written show than Raw is because NXT has a creative team STEEEPED in wrestling knowledge. Raw has a lot of writers but not many that have been in wrestling for their whole adult lives. That makes Raw frustrating sometimes..
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns
- League of Nations is on the outside and Jericho is in the ring with a referee shirt on.
- Jericho made referee Mike Chioda take his shirt off so Chris could have a ref shirt.
- Rusev had a leg scissors on Roman who kipped up out of it.
- Wade Barrett is getting some gray’s in his hair. Maybe his next character can be “The Distinguished” or Just for Men, Wade Barrett.
- Rusev and Roman were both showing their power and doing some moves to each other. Rusev put Roman in a chinlock to maybe wear Roman down a bit so Rusev can get better control of the match.
- Rusev let go of the rest hold and got in Jericho’s face, that was enough time to allow Roman to gain momentum in the match. Before we go to break though Rusev had Reigns knocked back down.
- We come back from break with Rusev telling Roman to punch him in the face. Roman obliges a few times but then gets caught in a headlock by Rusev. Rusev forces Roman to the ground and turns the headlock to a front face lock.
- This match is very old school but is working because the crowd is chanting “Roman”
- Jericho getting compliments by JBL for counting while both men are down.. THANK YOU!
- Reigns is selling his chest or selling chest pains, he does a few clotheslines and holds his arm over his chest.
- As Roman had Rusev in the corner and unloaded multiple clotheslines. Jericho counted along with the fans to ten… The rules are a count of 5 Jericho, you legit went to nine…. Roman should be disqualified.
- Rusev decides he doesn’t want to play around and fireman carries Reigns to the middle rope. Roman fights out of it and ends up hitting a sit out powerbomb on Rusev for two.
- Sheamus was able to get at Roman because Jericho was talking to King Barrett and ADR. Y2J then starts throwing out the members of League of Nations one by one. Each time he builds up the moment and the crowd cheers every time. Jericho really milks his moment but the crowd is eating it up so what can I say.
- Rusev was stalking Jericho but Reigns hit Rusev with a Superman Punch and Jericho counts the three after the spear..
And I’m Like… That match was good, Jericho is not my beverage, but I usually like matches that has good crowd reactions and Jericho can really get a crowd to react. Roman celebrates with the crowd. Jericho has stepped out of the ring and we go to commercial.
Jericho is walking in the hallway all smug and shit when Stephanie shows up. Jericho is excited and tells Steph he took it to the next level. Stephanie says “Raw is not Jericho and it is not 1999” Jericho said he misses Stephanie from back in the day. McMahon rips on him and says “your very original just like all your material.” She says she is upset because now she has to pay Brock Lesnar more mNataoney for having Roman on the highlight reel.
Brie Bella w/ Alicia Fox vs. Natalya w/ Paige
- This is a total Diva’s feud… I forget how much these storylines don’t make sense. So there is a video package that Foxy unfollowed Paige on all of social media.. So they aren’t friends anymore…
- Byron is going over Natalya’s recent history and Cole points out everything that will be covered on Total Diva’s. We hear that Mandy is gonna be on Total Diva’s… Not any WWE show? Is she new Eva Marie?
- Natalya took some Yes! kicks, feigned fainting, got back up, reversed a Brie kick into a Sharpshooter for the win.
A nd I’m Like… That was something. Good to see Natalya back.
The Wyatt Family vs. The Dudley Boyz and Ryback
- I am pretty sure Bray Wyatt has been in a feud since he has started with the company. Kane, Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Undertaker, The Shield, and Ryback. Now the Dudleyz, I’m sure I am forgetting someone. He is definitely always a focal point of WWE television.
- Since Ryback is with Dudleyz at least he is not against the Big Show.
- JBL screams right before commercial break “DUDLEYVILLE!!”
- Braun Strowman is on the outside, he will not be partaking in the match because Wrestling Ability.
- Member when he was a member of Adam Rose Experience? I feel like once Braun left, so did the party. Is Bray the ultimate lemon?
- Bray Wyatt hits those turnbuckles so hard I can hear Gorilla Monsoon saying “the ring must have moved a couple inches.
- Harper doing the Great Muta pose always makes me smile. Harper is just weird enough where he can do stuff like that and it doesn’t wreck his image
- I was thinking the other day, comparing WWE now to the WWF of territory days. WWE now is all the best wrestlers in the world under one roof. WWF was trying to make that happen and pretty much did. Any member of the current WWE roster could go to any indie promotion and be a draw. Guys like Erick Rowan don’t seem that skilled but have learned so much more than most wrestlers that haven’t been in WWE will. I think a lot of that has to do with matches. WWE runs a hard ass schedule but that’s the kinda schedule many guys did in the territories. I don’t know where the thought was going, I guess its just saying that WWE guys ability will grow tremendously because they have the ability to perform their craft more often.
- The Wyatt’s had a normal match, Ryback got taken out outside the ring. Luke Harper hit a discus clothesline for the win.
- Bray says “after Royal Rumble there will be no salvation.”
And I’m Like… The Wyatt’s are getting solid wins over the Dudleyz. I wonder what the Wyatt’s will do heading into Mania. Onto the next.
Big Show vs. Heath Slater
- Social Outcasts get microphones during their entrance like The New Day did to get themselves over. Good luck guys!!
- Heath Slater says they will be trending worldwide tonight. They have a pretty cool shirt with their faces on there. Adam Rose pushes Heath Slater out the way and says “With Aladdin’s magic carpet under my feet, I will never hit the ground.” Curtis Axle says “nobody knows what your talking about man. Everyone knows I was never eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble match.” Bo Dallas did not get a word in.
- Heath Slater is showing his quickness against Big Show. He taunts the Big man and Show punches Heath for the win. Axel comes in and tries to beat up Show.. Basically the whole team got punched in the face, then Bo survived.. victory lapped for surviving but then got punched in the face…. sad.
And I’m Like… I don’t need an example of why Big Show is a threat in the Royal Rumble… Hopefully this doesn’t start a loser guy streak for the Outcasts. At least they are on TV though!
Stephanie is talking to League of Nations which is cool, she doesn’t have an office, she just wonders the halls. Stephanie commends the League for holding their tempers when Jericho took advantage of the situation and the League themselves.
Sheamus just needs to win the Intercontinental Title and Tag Titles and he is the super grand slam winner: King Of The Ring, United States Championship, Money In the Bank, Royal Rumble, and WWE World HeavyWhereweight Championship…. Damn.
The McMahons tell us who the Number 1 person in the Rumble is
- McMahon says Who a bunch like he is in the New Day
- They put over how great McMahon did in the Royal Rumble.
- They roll the tumbler. McMahon picks a ball but can’t open it. Puts that ball away and opens a new one. Tells the drumroll to stop.
- Roman is number 1. They are trying again to make sure it is on the up and up so they put the ball back in and are picking again.
- McMahon struggles with the ball like he is opening a jar of pickles. Stephanie says “at least there is no phone like this isn’t McMahons Millions
- They keep picking Roman Reigns name over and over. Roman is number 1.
- Tamina comes out to a song that sounds like they are spelling unity. WHERE IS SASHA?!?!
- Becky Comes out in a weird face shirt… I’m sure it is significant somehow. Where is her Clockwork Orange attire?
- Becky yells that the Diva’s title is hers.
- Tamina looks more fluid than usual. I don’t know how often she wrestles.
- The story of this match is Tamina is powerful and Becky can’t handle it.
- Naomi does not look like she is enjoying being out there.
- Tamina is putting on a good show, Becky just got too worked up and hit a drop kick and tons of leg drops for two.
- Lynch is able to put Tamina in the disarmer by rolling through a top rope move..
And I’m Like… These matches tonight are fast and furious. Becky Lynch looks damn near unstoppable. She grabs the mic and says “nothing would mean more to me than winning the Diva’s championship this Sunday. Fist Charlotte I need an answer.” Charlotte says she won’t put the belt on the line at Royal Rumble because Charlotte already won that match. Becky calls out Ric Flair and, says Ric is a legend but maybe the “apple fell far from the tree” She is calling Ric a coward now too. Ric accepted the challenge and Charlotte does not look to thrilled. A reason to have a match people!!
Kevin Owens is on commentary.
Dean Ambrose and Kalisto vs. League of Nations sans Rusev
- Bell rings and Sheamus goes right at Dean Ambrose who answers back with some blows of his own.
- Byron was trying to talk and Owens told him to shut up. Ambrose back drops Kalisto onto the League of Nations.
- We come back from break with Kalisto getting dropkicked after jumping off the top rope.
- It is hard for me to pay attention to this match because Kevin Owens is selling his match with Ambrose at the Royal Rumble like Canada selling air to China .
- Ambrose is soundly getting beat up by Sheamus and Del Rio.
- Byron asks why he is always the target of the announce team. Owens says “because of your incompetence”. Byron, you used to wrestle, try and take out Owens like Alex Riley did.
- Del Rio went for his double stomp and it took forever like usual so Ambrose was able to reverse it. Owens kept telling Byron to not talk, then when there was a moment of silence Owens said “Byron why aren’t you doing your job?”
- Kalisto gets the hot tag and Cole says “this is gonna be fun”
- Salida del Sol by Kalisto on Sheamus but Sheamus was saved by Del Rio. Del Rio then was able to kick Ambrose in the face. Sheamus hits a brogue on Kalisto and won the match.
- Owens says he is walking out champion and Ambrose laying on his back will be what happens on Sunday.
And I’m Like… I enjoyed Kalisto and Owens on commentary. Everything except the Byron bashing. A lot of these matches are death knells in the storylines before Rumble. Problem is, most of these storylines are so one dimensional it’s hard to get emotionally invested.
Speaking of emotionally invested, we have Francesca’s funeral.
Big E gives a eulogy in perfect cadence as a black preacher. Xavier is taking it THE HARDEST. Kofi promised him a new trombone. Can someone BONE HIM please?
Instead of New DayRocks it’s Fran-cesca.
Jey Uso vs. Big E
- New Day’s come out and do a moment of silence for Francesca. They come out and clap to the beat but are very angry. They do all their sexy dances, but are very angry. F-U Jericho.
- Big E is emotionally not in the match and it shows. Jey is using his smarts and quickness to stay on top of E. Big E over powers though and gains control early.
- Uso dabbed and danced but that was about it. The Uso’s talking always reminded me of something, I just can’t think of it. Stay tuned over the next few weeks and I will remember.
- Big E back body dropped Jey on the outside while we go to commercial.
- Over break Big E attempted his apron splash but missed, and that is where it all turned around.
- Jey hits a huge top rope cross body, but he doesn’t go for a pin.. why?
- Jey is hitting signature moves up the ass, they are all connecting too.
- Big E goes to jump through the ropes and misses, Jey Uso jumps and connects with Big E. Kofi and Xavier are trying to help Big E up when Jimmy jumps on Kofi.
- Xavier got involved when Jey was going off the top rope. Big E hit the big ending and that is the ball game.
And I’m Like… happy New Day won, except it “builds for Sunday” but what does it build? The match we just saw? New Day won for Francesca. It cuts from New Day to Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry, R-Truth, and Neville. Neville is in a rap group so he fits in. The backstage joke was race though.
League of Nations were talking in the back.. that is about it.
Neville, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry, R-Truth vs. Cosmic Wasteland and Tyler Breeze
- Tyler better be pushed, since Zoolander 2 is coming out, the cross promotion would be marvelous.
- The crowd is chanting something, I’m not sure what.
- O’ Neil is just throwing The Ascension around he ring.
- Stardust tags in and his character work is top shelf. Even on headlocks he puts his foot in the air and screams a bit. After a clothesline, Stardust dances ands.
- This match has me falling asleep with Konnor and R-Truth in there.
- Titus got the hot tag, tried a cute little move with Mark Henry, a Word’s Strongest Slam and Red Arrow by Neville for the win.
And I’m Like… Losing focus by the last match of the night. I know that didn’t get much of a story but there wasn’t much of a story before the match. Let’s just get through this damn Highlight Reel.
Highlight Reel with Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar
- Jericho is in the ring, this time with a vest and without a shirt.
- Heyman comes out and Jericho tells him to shut up.
- Heyman says Brock Lesnar is focused on Roman Reigns so Jericho will be spared.
- This Highlight Reel has no TV or Jeritron and no chairs
- Heyman says Lesnar was never defeated for the WWE Championship and that’s why Paul wanted Brock to have a bye past the Royal Rumble.
- This is dragging.
Brock Lesnar comes out
- Jericho was talking a being in the final two with Lesnar, that brought Brock out.
Roman comes out mid-Lesnar entrance.
- Reigns is pacing back and forth in the ring while Brock walks around outside of the ring
- Roman lays the belt down, Lesnar gets in the ring and gets hit with a Spear by Roman. League of Nations come out to beat up on Roman.
- Lesnar is now destroying the League.
- Roman Reigns hits a spear on Lesnar again. Bray Wyatt’s screen graphic hits.
- The Wyatts surround the ring and Roman takes the fight to Braun. Harper takes out Reigns with a discus clothesline. Bray hits Sister Abigail.
- The Wyatt’s see Brock stirring, Bray sicks his Family on them.
- Bray tells Rowan and Harper to pick up Brock. Bray hits Sister Abigail on Lesnar and screams “The Royal Rumble is MINE, Mine, MINE!!”
And I’m Like… That was pretty interesting. It will be pretty exciting this Sunday. There are about 5 names that could win it and this episode cause more doubt than ever on who will be champion!
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Thanks for reading, you all have a good week before the Rumble.
Have a good one
-Jake
