And I’m Like… (Reviewing Raw March 7th, 2016)

10:16 pm March 8, 2016

Hey everyone! We are on our way to Roadblock, so, this is like the go home show before that. I just got done watching Andre The Giant sing The Fish Song so I am in good spirits. Let’s get Raw!

Is what I typed yesterday before starting up the DVR… Guess what? Turns out my DVR decided I like Full Frontal and Better Call Saul better than Raw. Luckily, Cassidy helped me out and linked me to a Raw so here we go again, a day late, probably a dollar short.

Raw Opening-

I haven’t decided how to review this, I usually react to what is happening. I saw some results and stuff so I feel like my reactions won’t be genuine.
The show starts with a video of a McMahon promo with drums and video filters. The story of the McMahon battle is Vince wants to teach Shane a lesson. Undertaker warns that the lesson is too dangerous but Vince already stepped in it “the blood of your son will be on your hands.”
Vince renounced Shane as his son… “Shane is no longer my son, he is just a son of a bitch.” So Linda?

Here Comes The Money – Shane McMahon Promo

Damn Shane, back at it again with them Jordan’s
The closer we get to the Shane McMahon match, I wonder if it will be good. I honestly thought Shane would find someone to fight on his behalf or something.
We are in Chicago and they are “Shane O-Mac”ing hard.
He got overwhelmed and emotional. He says he missed us.
Shane says he has the utmost expect for Undertaker. Chicago got done praising Shane and now they are What!ing him… Studpid Chicago
Shane calls Vince a miserable old bastard that has lost his touch with his: fanbase, reality, Shane and Shane’s sons.
Shane harkens back to 2011 Alberto Del Rio and says running Raw is his destiny.
Shane says the backstage politics is choking the life out of this business. Shane says so many talented people get so many breaks.
This storyline is cool, Shane is the voice of the Internet, he is the voice of the voiceless in a way CM Punk could never be.

Undertaker Gong followed by Vince McMahon

BRILLIANT!! Vince gets everyone hyped for Undertaker and then he comes out, that is how you get boo’d.
Vince called Undertaker “The Under” we get Attitude Era chants of “Asshole”. Vince acts as if he is orchestrating the crowd and it shuts them up quick.
Chicago does CM Punk chants lol… Poor Chicago, they are that kid who thinks dad is coming back from the gas station… He isn’t, quit it.
Vince brings up a picture of Shane’s first night at a WWE event. Vince is holding the photo and he stomps on it… to massive boo’s.
I remember their match from X-7. I had a buddy watch the DVD with me, he had a lot of hate for his dad. Let me tell you, he was living through Shane during that match. I couldn’t believe it, he was bouncing and screaming and pulling for Shane. When Linda stood up out of comatose he lost it and legit started tearing up. Vince and Shane tell the bad father storyline so well, it speaks to so many people.
I am starting to think Shane is the soul the CM Punk character never had. Punk rarely had a soft side, but he was a ball of anger that started with hatred of his father. That anger drove him to be who he was, but he was still always too cool and angry. Some how Shane brings a certain sense of vulnerability, maybe it is his eyes.
Vince sends security guards to throw Shane out. Shane said he would leave peacefully, but he is amped up and doesn’t want to be messed with. Vince keeps telling the security guard to get him.
Shane threw punches and knees and was taken out the whole security team to massive cheers from the crowd.

And I’m Like… So even reading results totally takes the emotion away. Watching it brings the emotion in and let me tell you. That was a hot segment. Vince knows how wrestling works, he seems to just choose when to make it work. I am so excited for Shane to take over, I do not see him losing, at all.

Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Smart to have Owens and Neville out first, Chicago loves their indie guys and Owens is the King of the Indies for WWE.
Owens is taking Neville from pillar to post and continually calls him “mate” because British
The match switches gears when Neville reversed the senton with knees to the back, then he started his typical strikes.
Neville is so fluid in this WWE style. He slowed down his pace for Raw but you can see how his head is miles ahead of his body so his moves are strung together so nicely.
Owens now does a headshake and tongue wag before he does his cannonball. Neviller countered it.
Owens hit a heavy german suplex that stunned Neville for just a little bit. After a kick to Owens head we have both guys worn out and tired.
It’s pretty even steven until Neville hit a Shooting Star Press to a standing Owens. “Holy Shit” from Chicago.
Neville rolls Owens in the ring and hits a standing Shooting Star. Neville shows a facial expression that makes him look frustrated and exasperated.
Neville decides to try something on Owens from the top rope. Owens fights it off and does a double jump moonsault but misses.
Neville hits a crouching superkick and follows that with a second rope phoenix splash because Hayabusa.
Owens kicked out so Neville went to set up the Red Arrow. Owens rolled up Neville for the victory by using the tights.
Owens gets back in the ring after the victory and starts working over Neville.
Owens is doing his NXT thing where he apron powerbombs people.
Just as he is about to lay it into Neville, we hear Sami Zayn’s music and the crowd loses all their shit.
Zayn ends up throwing Owens over the top rope and we got NXT Alumni stealing the show..

And I’m Like… The beauty of that is it continues their NXT story. The beauty of that is right when Sami’s song says “Let’s go” they started throwing punches. This was an amazing match capped off by an amazing angle. This is some exciting stuff!! I knew Sami was coming out because spoilers but it didn’t take the specialness away from the segment. Ugh! both of his debut’s were tremendous!

We get a HHH/Ambrose video package and letting us know that their match is Saturday. We see Dolph talking to Zack Ryder and Steph tells him to “stay hype” Zack. Ziggler said two years ago he won a match that threw the Authority out of power. Stephanie says she doesn’t remember because she is still his boss.

This Dolph storyline started on Twitter. He had to “take down a tweet” and then Stephanie is now punishing him.. That is creative to be honest.

Summer Rae vs. Brie Bella

This is one of those throwback bathroom break Diva matches
I wonder what they have planned for these two.. Summer was off TV since Tyler Breeze disappeared…
This match gives me time to say something about story telling. That Twitter thing with Dolph is creative. It uses a tool that they don’t use too often. WWE tells stories so the more tools the better. One complain I have is that they have taken referee’s out of the equation. I was watching TNT the other night and Vince McMahon was interviewing a referee. The ref was talking about how every ref is subjective and how they are intimidated by certain wrestlers. Some of them like to get in on the action and tend to get beat up for it. What was done through that one interview is make every match a little deeper in context. The ref bumps mean more, but this 50/50 booking and distraction roll-up nonsense could be more creative with more tools…
Lana’s music hit and Brie got distracted and rolled up. Then Lana hit a facebuster on Brie because it was Brie’s finisher.

And I’m Like… That is a finish we have seen before with a match we have seen before. Summer is on a win streak and Brie and Lana are feuding because Diva’s Revolution. Not much else to say.

Dean Ambrose Promo

Dean said that he was ready for Mania and that he was gonna take the WrestleMania exit for Suplex City.
Dean says everything was set in stone until Dean Ambrose shows up and goes into a match against the championship match.
Ambrose says he doesn’t care how Roman Reigns feels about it, he is hijacking the WWE Title and WrestleMania.
Jeez, crazy that Roman is the #1 contender and no one is really talking about him. How can it be that he is that forgettable… Maybe I am the only one.
Dean wants HHH to respect him. Ambrose says he is gonna be on Oprah… Is that still on?
“I love kids, they are like normal people but smaller” -Dean Ambrose

HHH Comes out

Dean told HHH he will win the belt and then told HHH he can suck it.
HHH is letting Dean in on a secret. He said some clever marketing idiot came up with the name Roadblock.
HHH makes comparisons with Roman and Dean.
Ziggler says that history repeats itself, and Authority will be out of power. HHH says history repeats itself and Dean Ambrose will lose.
Ambrose says he would rather be delusional than whatever HHH is. Triple H says he is driven and that is what makes Triple H , Triple H.
HHH says we don’t know anything about success, and we don’t know how to delegate. Triple H puts Ambrose in a match against Bray Wyatt tonight.

And I’m Like… This story is good! I want Ambrose to win, and Ambrose and Roman Reigns be buds until Rollins comes back. Then Rollins will help form the Shield and that leads to the build. Roman won’t be able to handle being third fiddle like before. That’s when you turn him, this Shield storyline could go for 5 years and still seem fresh. We had a year of Seth as a heel, we can do a year each with either Roman or Dean as heel. We can do a reunite but that should be way down the road. I like where all this is headed. It is very hard to screw up a Shield storyline.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev, Sheamus, and King Barrett

What Del Rio too good for being a manager for The LoN.
So Ziggler doesn’t have blonde hair anymore. I just now noticed…. I know it’s been happening a while but his bleached hair is almost gone entirely, weird.
Ziggler was doing alright on his own against Barrett until his attention was diverted. Barrett was able to gain control.
Rusev hits a beautiful dropkick and taunt move before he tags Barrett in. Rusev is such a treasure.
This match is an easy story to tell. Dolph gets beat up and tries to win but it’s obvious he can’t. That makes this match not too interesting.
Sheamus’ head shows the marks from the Minneapolis show where both he and Charlotte got busted open.
The League won…

And I’m Like… was Dolph punished during that match or were we?

The Shane video package tho….!

Becky Lynch is yelling at Sasha Banks to get ready for the tag match. Sasha is telling Becky how she should have won if it wasn’t for Ric Flair. Becky says the same except calls Sasha ‘Nicki Minaj’

Tamina and Naomi vs. Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch

Sasha Banks gotta LEGIT POP!! Ugh she needs to be champion. How can you be The Boss and not be champion you know! I mean Sasha my girl, but she need that gold… or pink and silver!
Tamina starts off very aggressive taking Sasha off the apron and Becky off her feet. Ever since that Table for 3, I have become a fan of Tamina. She seems like a genuinely cool person.
“We Want Sasha” by Chicago and Banks was tagged in quickly to the delight of the crowd.
A beautiful sequence. Sasha is able to counter a bulldog with her own attempt, but she flips over Naomi’s back and is able to apply the BankStatemnt!!

And I’m Like… Charlotte shows up and attacks Sasha…. The Sasha fan in me is pissed, The wrestling fan is loving it. I can not wait til Sasha dethrones the queen. I am really excited that I am getting emotionally involved in these matches.

R-Truth is dressed like I.R.S. delivering pizza. Mark Henry asks Truth what he has. Truth is trying to deliver a pizza to Goldust. Goldust drops a “why in the Blue Blazer would you do that?” That was a fun thing. Goldust is lactose intolerant though and thinks Truth is making fun of his exploding butt.

WWE Tag Team Champions

New Day vs. Y2AJ

Very audible New DayRocks chants.
Kofi says “stakes are at an all time high baby” which reminds me I left a stake in the fridge at my restaurant that I was gonna bring home… damn it.
Xavier does a video game reference and Kofi and Big E talk about how they are a real team, they even have matching tattoos. Just like Hulk Hogan has a 10-inch penis, Big E has an unicorn with leprechauns and rainbows on his butt. See the guy that plays Big E doesn’t have the tattoo, but Big E the character does. It’s a court room thing .
New Day has been champions for almost 200 days.
The crowd is hype for everyone in this match. I love how whenever AJ is involved in something it still feels freshy.
Jericho kinda shows he can handle New Day on his own but he still tags AJ in and they do some double teaming.
The match changes when Xavier kicks Jericho in the head Jericho is able to break up the pinfall by pushing Kofi over like Y2J was an all-star offensive linemen.
AJ does a springboard 450 that is AMAZING to see. The margin for error there is so slim. That is talent yo!
AJ is flying all over the inside and outside of the ring. “this is awesome” by Chicago. That is shut up quick by a nearfall from a Kofi Kingston roll up.
AJ is Trouble In Paradised by Kofi and Styles is able to tag Jericho in. Kofi goes for a Walls of Jericho and applies it! The crowd pops. Kofi is crawling but no one is there to help. Xavier tries to push the ropes toward Kofi but to no avail. Big E takes out AJ. Then he is able to tag Kofi who is close to tapping. Jericho is able to lock the Walls of Jericho in on Big E now too.
Jericho went for Codebreaker. Big E reverses that into a Big Ending and NEW DAY WINS!

And I’m Like… New Day know how to wrestle!! They can put on great matches at anytime. Even if New Day gets stale on the mic or stifled creatively, their matches always make me love them. Them vs. Shield is stuff dream matches dream about.

Jericho and Styles pose like they are trying to be Michael B Jordan , then Jericho gets all Bodie shoots Wallace and now we wanna know “Where’s Y2AJ?” Well Jericho hit three Codebreakers on AJ and then shoved the Y2AJ shirt in AJ’s mouth.. Called him a Son of A Bitch too….

And I’m Like… Loving that almost every match going into Mania has at least some video package fodder.

Renee Young stops Jericho and asks for a comment on the segment. Jericho says everyone always chants AJ Styles. Y2J was born in Chicago. (The Character not the man) and Chicago doesn’t cheer for him so he attacked… The story is, they were competitors, then friends, now enemies.

Kalisto vs. Tyler Breeze

Wow so he is back from disappearing, Also.. Is he why Dolph’s hair is brown?
Cole says out of the two “Kalisto is extremely relevant”
Poor Breeze… I feel like he really needed Zoolander 2 to do well and become something pop culture wise so his character could get some time on television.
Tyler is a character you have to hear and see to get, he wrestles matches sure, but you can’t get emotionally invested in him on Raw.
Same with Kalisto though…. He hits the SDS and wins.

And I’m Like… Poor Tyler Breeze. JBL brings up HHH tossing and throwing Byron, why aren’t they doing the whole ‘Cole makes Brock apologize’ storyline when Brock freaked out at ringside.. Now HHH gets no repercussions? I wish I could say more about the match… It was just a five minute filler to remember Kalisto exists with the U.S. Title

Big Boss Man is in Hall of Fame now. That’s two confederate wearing superstars.. that is good for Texas and stuff.. It is well earned though. That man could move and sell a story. Loved when he was an evil guy and fed dogs to Al Snow and such.

Ryback asks JoJo a question on why he isn’t in WrestleMania. He says look at me and look at Kalisto. See Ryback, Kalisto has a title belt. You do not. He is on the card. Ryback delivered TONS of superhero references and yeah he challenged Kalisto to a match because “this is real life, this is WWE” Ryback told Kalisto “to take a page from the book of Ryback, you can be a Lucha Dragon on your own” lol Ryback is a Lucha Dragon?

Bo is sad that Ryback doesn’t want to be on a team. He can’t be in Ghostbusters or anything. “Tonight The Axe-Man Cometh” and Curtis Axel starts doing a “yee” axe chop and the Outcasts follow suit.

Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

Credit where it is due… Ryback was part of Team Titan with Big Show and Kane, they lost to Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family because the Wyatt’s want to be the Titans. Ryback saw he was on a losing team and left for himself. Now he is telling people to not be in teams. Then he wrestles Curtis Axel, the only other guy he teamed with outside of the Nexus.
We start the match with Ryback beating the holy Minnesotan hell out of Curtis Axel.
“CM Punk” chants.. prolly cause CM Punk says Ryback injured him once for being “dumb as fuck”
The Axe Man is reigning down blows on Ryback but Ryback turns it around and starts punching Curtis Axel to a bunch of boo’s by the crowd. A shell shock later and we are done.

And I’m Like… Quick match, but is helping the United States Title storyline. Plus Axle started a new weird catchphrase thing of “hee”

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a fight we have seen many times. With videos of Wyatt taking out Brock Lesnar and Ambrose fighting HHH. We know this won’t end cleanly.
These guys are running at each other SO HARD. The one thing about the Bray/Dean series of matches, is they aren’t afraid to be super physical. The last three wrestling shows that I have been too has had Bray vs. Dean in some way. Then on March 4th they were the main event for the Minnesota WWE Live show. I know they did Wyatt’s vs. Shield but I also know they have been having a singles feud off and on since Ho Ho Hogan.
Credit to Chicago for staying hype all night and still reacting to this match.
These two are so quick with their moves and counters. Both have set-ups to their finisher that are easy to escape out of which creates tension. They know each other so well also, I don’t think they could deliver a bad match with each other.
As Ambrose is taking control of the match, The Wyatt’s show up and DQ!
Wyatt’s dispose of Ambrose quite easily. They pose and I only want to see a verison of the Wyatt’s in high school. I know we have Camp WWE, but can we also get a Clone High WWE
HHH comes out and faces off with Wyatt. The crowd chants “Yes” Bray laughs while touching the WWE Title. We know that the Wyatt’s are a face stable right? Like, not now, but they are built as anti-establishment, almost Bernie Sanders type. The living for the people and taking down the system type stuff.
HHH has yet to break out the sledgehammer, but he is utilizing the announce table lately. As The Game gets back in the ring Ambrose catches HHH with Dirty Deeds.

And I’m Like… Sad Ambrose is gonna lose. Usually whoever is on top on the go home show is gonna lose at the show. That match was what you would expect, quality. The end segment was exciting seeing Bray and Hunter face-off. HHH getting beaten up seems to be a thing that is fun to watch lately too.

WE are in WrestleMania season folks. This is my holidays and birthday wrapped into one, and we need to get excited for this. We are getting better shows than we have gotten for most of 2015. Character interacions, new storylines, old big time players, new big time players, the chance for wrestlers to step up and fill voids. This is an exciting time!