Hello everyone, I hope your holiday weekend went well. Ours started off with bang but got a little too heavy towards Monday. I’ve been struggling with how to come up with the right words. My life changed forever on Thanksgiving Day when my first child was born. My daughter Luciana Jean. The wife, daughter and I spent a few days in the hospital. Our hospital built a mother baby center in August and boy howdy is it nice. Two TV’s, two bed’s, a NICE bathroom, and free access to the fridge. Thanks to my dad and my wife’s family I was able to take the first day of work I’ve had off since Memorial Day. For that I am thankful. Now for the hard news, then I’ll finish it with a funny story from my restaurant. My personal stories are in Italics, if you want to skip that, once we are back to normal font its RAW!
For those of you who are regular readers of And I’m Like… whether it be Raw, NXT, Old School, or Payin’ Dues. You may have read that a few months back we started to feed a homeless teen. At first there was one, then two, then a couple, then we had to kick some out because drugs. We ended up having one young man bus tables, we trusted him over the others because he made eye contact, smiled, and most of all was respectful. My niece gives him rides to High School during the week, and on weekends he helps us out. We are like family there, which is why this is so hard. He lost his 11 year old sister last night because of violence in Chicago. Not much is known other than she died from a bullet in the chest. To be so far away from family and have to hear that must be an enormous pain. Something I talked to him about today was that him and his family shouldn’t try and seek any retribution or revenge. An eye for an eye and we both lose our sight, the best thing to do is keep moving forward and being a better you. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts.
That experience made me think about wrestling. Where fighting a guy for three months is justified because he pushed you off a ladder in a Money In The Bank match. We always want to see the revenge or retribution or bad guy get his due. In real life, there isn’t that. Sometimes the bad guys walk all over you and keep on. Sometimes the world doesn’t turn your way and the ending isn’t storybook. In wrestling though.. in wrestling you get to see those that work hard get rewards. Those that are villainous get their just due. We know life will be alright because in the end, the good guys win. Another reason why I love wrestling. It takes that shitty taste of reality out of your mouth for a minute or two and gives you hope. Hope of hard work and reward, hope of doing right and vindication.
One last thing, I had a regular two weeks ago win over a grand at a casino. It was near daybreak and they wouldn’t let him leave alone without a shuttle bus because parking lot robberies happen. He was bitching and moaning about the whole thing. This week he went down there, won another grand, was at the machine where you enter your ticket and get cashed out. As soon as he had cash in hand, some lady named Sherry took it and ran. Security caught it on camera and police said it’s the third time she did it this week. Why does a casino let a known thief into their establishment? Why does the week before have crazy amount of security and this week none? Overall he is up like $.84 over the past two weeks so he isn’t mad. Good story to tell.
Onto Raw.
Opening of Raw
New Day Promo
- Cole welcomes us to the show and confetti is falling from the ceiling.
- New Day comes out dancin and smiling in the confetti rain.
- They say it is Naomi’s birthday. But tonight is about NEW DAY
- Big E wipes his armpits and blows his nose into a Pittsburgh towel, because sports heat. Xavier says they can’t touch the Falcons. That upsets me because 1998 , Woods does the Dirty Bird too.
- They introduce the “Irish Jiggin, Brogue Kickin, Mohawk Wearing, Shamrock Shakin, Championship Takin, Ginger Giant”. Xavier and Kofi form a giant O with their hands “fusing” and scream “Fella!” While Big E says Sheamus.
Sheamus Comes Out
- Sheamus comes out in a suit, which is good for The Authority’s champion. Something that Rollins should have done more.
- “You look stupid chants” Kofi says “they think champions are stupid” and “Pittsburgh is so dirty, God”
- Xavier drops Street Fighter references like E. Honda and stuff.
- Sheamus says if Reigns would have shook HHH’s hand he wouldn’t be champion.
- Sheamus does the New Day hip dance. Kofi is surprised “oh you got the hips? The hips? The hips don’t lie”
- New Day and Sheamus keep saying 5 minutes and 15 seconds. He says “forget Austin 3:16, its Sheamus 5:15 I just kicked your arse.” Even though he already did an “18 seconds” thing after WM28.
- Roman Reigns comes out and punches Sheamus mid celebration. Roman then steals the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.?
And I’m Like… WHAAT? I liked the beginning with New Day being friends with whoever is champion and Sheamus getting his suit and tie on. The celebration was fine too, not sure about Sheamus 5:15 but what ever. Roman coming out and punching Sheamus then stealing his belt? Why? Because Sheamus followed the rules to take the belt, maybe was a little braggadocious but still. That was undeserved Roman!
We come backstage and Roman is hanging with Uso 1 and Uso 2 and Dean Ambrose. Ambrose is the title thief, now Reigns is too. Roman is told by HHH he has what doesn’t belong to him. Roman is all cool high school teenager about it. Roman says “two weeks time, I’m taking that back” HHH says that championship will be on the line tonight. Stephanie says “in order to win this championship Roman, you have to defeat Sheamus in 5 minutes and 15 seconds.”
One thing I like about The Authority is their characters. “WWE Roster’s Parents” They look out for the roster, but put them in their place when they need to. Roman and company acted like the most immature College Freshmen types, Seth Rollins was the entitled brat, John Cena is the over achiever. They all get knocked down a peg or boosted up a bit. HHH tried to hand the title to Roman, Reigns being the kid, didn’t listen. HHH now has to teach Roman a lesson, teach him respect. H wants to run a successful company, but when you don’t follow your parents rules, consequences happen.
Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler
- Ziggler comes out Nikki Sixxin’ it
- I don’t get how Ziggler and Breeze are the same, outside of blonde hair. Dolph doesn’t really have blonde hair anymore either.
- Dolph sells everything so much, that if he really got injured in a match I wouldn’t be able to tell.
- Ziggler does Sweet Chin Music after commercial break but Breeze could hear those stomps so he moved out the way quickly.
- Breeze is able to get some nearfalls.
- I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get into this match. There isn’t much of a story outside of Ziggler’s shoulder is targeted. Problem is, no ones finish relies on a shoulder.
- The match is about Ziggler hurting his shoulder, except there is this huge pin combination sequence. That sequence is started with Dolph fighting out of the Unprettier, which adds pressure to the shoulders, by doing a backslide, which is all about arm strength. It ends with Ziggler victorious after a superkick.
And I’m Like… Ziggler beat Breeze tonight, Breeze beat Ziggler last week. That’s how it goes. 50/50 Booking is wrestling’s Ring Theory
Miz had Miz TV with Rusev and Lana…. I am kinda done with Rusev non wrestling segments. Ryback came out, says we have all seen enough of this garbage. He makes fun of Lana. Yep.
Ryback vs. Rusev w/Lana
- It’s weird to see Rusev wrestling in boots. It’s like when they tried to get Fatu to wrestle in boot’s. That ISN’T HIS NATURE.
- Lana got hurt cause the step hit Lana in the thigh…. Ryback is mad, this match was SMASHMOUTH , at least that’s what the commentators kept saying.
- If Lana really got hurt Rusev would be carrying her.
And I’M like… See where it goes?
Ambrose shows up in HHH’s office, and HHH tells him congratulations. Ambrose was wondering if that was it. HHH “If Roman doesn’t beat Sheamus in 5 minutes 15 seconds. You both lose your title opportunites” HHH drives the point that Roman has to be mature enough to know his actions not only affect him, but also his friends.
The Dudleys Promo
- Dudleyz have a bunch of tables, covered in black sheets. Bubba says Wyatt’s are able to do what most people aren’t able to do.
- This is a family feud. I nominate This song for the video package.
- Dudleys show that all the tables have the last names of the Wyatt’s on there. Strowman’s table is like twice as big as the other Wyatt’s
- Wyatt came out quickly and said don’t invite the Devil cause he might just decide to stay.
- Dudleys are saying look at the three of you and the two of us. They talk about having their family, and Tommy Dreamer comes out…. Not Spike Dudley… Dumb.
- Dreamer is a lot of things to a lot of people. To me he was the heart and soul of ECW, also the guy who did this . And was apart of this thing
The Dudleys and Tommy Dreamer vs. The Wyatt Family
- HAHAHA Tommy is here to help the Dudleys by bringing Singapore Canes and Trashcans to a normal match. DQ match.
- This better lead to Little Spike Dudley coming out soon.
- I have no doubt the Wyatts will win.
- The match breaks down pretty quick. Strowman chokes out Dreamer and The Dudleys are laid to waste.
- Bray says “get the table” He is talking to the Wyatt’s trying to direct traffic and Bubba shoved Bray who went through a table as the Dudleys walk away.
And I’m Like… The Wyatt’s look like fools today. For big monsters they sure aren’t dangerous without their leader. What is this? Home? It seems strange how often the Wyatt’s are made to look like they can lose. Imagine if Bray won every feud outside of the Undertaker.
Goldust vs. Alberto Del Rio
- We see a recap of Smackdown, where Del Rio and Swagger had a blow off to their feud of one week. Then Del Rio used a chair and Swagger used the chair.
- Zeb Colter says we care too much about Social Media. I mean I guess..
- Del Rio tried to talk, Goldust slapped him and we are off to the races.
- They are wearing the same colors (black and gold). That would be a fun tag team. Their theme song could be Black and Gold
- Del Rio set up his double stomp thing. I guess I should say Goldust set up the move by holding his own body weight.
And I’m Like… These are either short matches or my attention span is skipping like Like Doomsday Time
Swagger came out and like the crowd popped but not by much. Imagine if this was still going on from when Glenn Beck was addressed , and Swagger had broken out of Rusev’s Accolade.
Charlotte and Becky are in the back talking. Ric Flair shows up and people Woo. This is building up to like Wrestlemania 40. Charlotte will be like Ric Flair and have won the belt TONS of times, Charlotte will play the role of her dad when she faces Bayley who is Dusty Rhodes, Sasha Banks who is Ricky Steamboat, Becky Lynch who is Terry Funk or Luger? or Garvin? or Von Erich? Which means that HHH’s daughter will play the role of Surfer Sting in the torch passing moment. Charlotte will always be on top. Sasha will always be who we want on top. Charlotte will be HHH Sasha will be Chris Benoit. Charlotte will be Lesnar, Sasha will be Guerrero. HHH’s daughter will eat through the competition to headline Mania with the first ever woman’s wrestling main event.
Lucha Dragons vs. The Uso’s
- New Day is on commentary and say too many gems to write down. These guys are the epitome of having fun and it transfers threw the camera well.
- The Number One contender tag match is two fan favorite high flying teams.
- It is a little bit of a wrestling match that turns into diving to the outside.
- New Day comes in and beats up both teams.
And I’m Like…. We are just flying threw matches tonight.
Team B.A.D. was walking backstage, being all Seinfeld, where you do nothing but it’s so interesting.
Steph tells the Dragons they are in a match against New Day for the titles. They tell the Uso’s that they are in the match too if Roman wins. If he loses they are out.
SASHA BANKS! vs. Brie Bella
- Team B.A.D. is amazing they come out and do a new dance at the top of the ramp. Their picture in picture promo, they said UNITY like opera singers a bunch. WWE’s Queen Latifahs .
- Alicia Fox got ROCKED by Tamina and a superkick. After watching Table for 3 with Tamina, Nattie, and Charlotte. It makes me want to see more of Tamina, or at least hear more about her.
- Alicia Fox is getting helped to the back and Brie will have to find the will to fight Three B.A.D. ass bitches.
- Naomi is watching the match with a smile on her face, she is having a blast. That is why we like B.A.D. and New Day. THEY ARE HAVING FUN. that is easy to pick up no matter how big of a fan you are.
- Tamina and Naomi distracted Brie Bella and Sasha Banks put the Banks Statement on to win. Then they start smiling and celebrating.
And I’m Like… Always nice to see Sasha Banks on tv applying her craft. It wasn’t a good match, but then again its Brie.
WWe World Heavyweight Championship
Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus (c)
- Roman has to win the title in 5 minutes and 15 seconds because if he doesn’t his friend and cousins lose their respective title opportunites.
- Sheamus is working Reigns over like crazy. He is smart too, doing rest holds and going to the outside.
- Roman with 2 minutes left was getting ready for signatures. Roman is relentless.
- Sheamus threw Roman Reigns at the commentators.
- We got a minute left and Reigns taunts like he is about to spear. Barrett Del Rio Sheamus and Rusev all get together on the outside.
- Reigns wins by DQ so there is that.
And I’m Like… Sheamus brags to Lillian Garcia. Sheamus makes fun of Roman for not winning. He introduces to Roman Reigns the new stable called “League of Nations”.
As the league hugs they look at Roman Reigns. The Uso’s and Ambrose run out for back up even though LoN wasn’t doing anything outside of standing.
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch
- As Paige mumbles something British and I fight sleep.
- Becky and Charlotte are doing catch as catch can arm holds.
- Team B.A.D. was watching in the back eating on some popcorn.
- Flair watches this match with the BIGGEST smile on his face. Proud Papa.
- The second pinning sequence of the show.
- It’s hard to focus on the match when the camera keeps cutting to Paige who is reiterating the story points.
- Charlotte played possum and faked an ankle injury. She kipped up and got a rollup pin for the win.
And I’m Like… Charlotte is the new dirtiest player in the game. There is a fine example. Paige keeps says “I AM SO RIGHT” We don’t care, I think. Do other people care?
Charlotte feels like nothing is wrong. Becky looks downtrodden. Paige rubs in the wounds. Becky looks vexed.
Adam Rose debuts a segment and it is much like The Soup meets Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. No Not This lifestyle .
Titus O’Neil is back in the room with Stardust again. Stardust is talkin wacky about Christmas. Titus shows up to have fun, hilarity ensues?
Roman Empire vs. League of Nations
- League of Nations look like they are having a blast. Well everyone outside of Del Rio.
- New Day comes out too. They have a good number of segments tonight. Did I miss Kevin Owens or something?
- New Day now says it’s a 7 on 4 handicap match.
- Cole says that Reigns can’t catch a break. C’mon though, that’s like saying the kid that breaks into cars and get’s arrested needs to be free’d. Roman STOLE THE TITLE. His fault, learn the lesson Roman.
- King Barrett looks CRAZY uncomfortable standing on the apron. It’s like he is claustrophobic or something.
- This match almost has too many people to really work at all. Without an elimination aspect I find it’s hard to tell a story, outside of beat down, hot tag, beat down, hot tag, clusterfuck, finish.
- Del Rio stood on the top rope and told An Uso to turn around, kept motioning and yelling, then just kinda jumps at him. Connects too.
- TLC is the PPV where Sheamus first won his World Title.
- It breaks down a little bit on the outside. Roman is able to hit a double drive-by.
- The craziest competitor in WWE is Dean Ambrose. When everyone is on the outside Ambrose is standing on the apron like an asshole.
- One of the Uso’s got taken to the back. The other one is injured.
- Roman is really getting worked over, even Big E got some abdominal slaps in!
- Ambrose FINALLY get’s tagged in and then the Finish Finale happened. We see signatures and finishers and moving and hard hits. Sheamus ended the match lacklusterly.
And I’m Like…. Start a new stable and show who they will be feuding against. 20 minutes later have said match. lol
I might be too tired for this. It’s non Authority and all the champions outside Owens were in the ring to close the show. This is new so let’s like it for a bit.
Have a good one. Today was long, sleep is needed.
-Jake
