Happy Labor Day weekend! I worked yesterday and man was it busy, today not so much. I still had to move our new sofa and chair into the apartment. Well, I didn’t have to but the movers did. Good news is, after 10 hours of work, and 3 hours of running errands I still have time to watch Raw!
- Seth comes out and I’m disinterested. When he talks he doesn’t really advance the plot points, just reiterates them,
- That is good for the general audience. Also, good for the casual viewer, but for someone who watches every week and pays attention? Please No Thank You clapclap clapclapclap
- Rollins talks about how special he is. I think he is very talented, but he isn’t once in a lifetime. He will be around for a while though.
- I’ve been thinking, WWE has been trying to build to their Attitude Era level of main eventers for a while. People talk about Austin, Rock, HBK, HHH, Undertaker, Angle, Foley. Those are all different characters that fit an archetype. Rebel, Jock, Sex symbol, undeserving but talented/opportunist, big man but talented, straight wrestler, underdog. Attitude Era didn’t really have a Top Dog character, like Hogan was and Cena is. They try and use Top Dog Cena to build up the Main Event roster, but everyone they build up, falls somehow. Batista walked away goes his passion was gone, Orton was too immature, Lesnar moved on to more competition, Umaga died, Edge got injured, Daniel Bryan got injured, CM Punk legit is not a person you can trust with your company, Lashley left. I could go on and on with wrestlers that were MADE to be main event and it didn’t work out. That makes Cena’s Top Dog reign unbelievable.
- Rollins is being crafted into the opportunist role. Let’s hope he can hang for a decade or so, so we can cement our main event archetypes.
- Rollins has been talking about how he wants his statue, he gets “boring” chants. Sting shows up, you know Sting, finisher the Scorpion Death Lock, symbol a crow.
- Sting invites Rollins to come to the back and get his statue, we just don’t know where he is since its a dark room. He keeps asking Rollins to come and get it, we don’t know where you are Sting!!
- Sheamus comes out now… He was groomed as the undeserved role with rumors early on he lifted weights with HHH and got the WWE title in 8 months of joining the main roster. He didn’t fit that role, now is moved into the big man but talented or Hoss category.
- Don’t forget, I am just a fan that watches wrestling alot for the past 20+ years so I’ve developed my own theories on stuff.
- Sheamus says he is out to remind Seth that maybe Sheamus can cash in after both of Rollins matches at Night of Champions.
- I really want Seth to win both, only to lose to Sheamus, but the next night on Raw we find out that Money In The Bank was used on the U.S. Title and not the WWE Title. That would be new, only problem is I don’t know where it would go from there.
And I’m Like… That was blah! It didn’t really move the needle in storytelling of stuff we didn’t already know. It just let us know Seth thinks he is the greatest and doesn’t like Sting. Sting likes Seth’s statue and asked him to meet him in a location no one knows but Sting. Sheamus likes the fact he has a briefcase that can get him a title.
Sasha Banks vs. Paige
- I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN SASHA’S MUSIC HIT!!!!
- PCB’s pinky thing is the DUMBEST by the way. Somehow in the last month or so, I’ve soured on that whole team.
- Paige starts the match with hair pulling and only hair pulling……
- How can anyone cheer Paige? I mean I know people do, I just don’t see what she does to cheer for, her elbows in the corner move doesn’t even look vicious anymore.
- The match was upsetting me, but Sasha did the double knees to the stomach while Paige was propped in the corner and it made me smile.
- Sasha set up Paige like she was gonna go for Bronco Buster, I got scared, she hit double knees to Paige’s face and I wiped my head in relief. The last thing these divas need is moves that promote sexuality.
- Sasha sets up a one arm submission, Paige thinks it involves two arms so Paige holds her arm out for Sasha to grab. Sasha wasn’t trying to grab it so it ended up looking very awkward.
- Paige rocked Sasha with a knee, kick, knee to face combo that looked very tight.
- Paige went for Rampaige, Sasha got out of it and rolled to the outside. Paige hits a senton flip onto Tamina.
- I think the reason the NXT women have better matches is because they have been together and wrestled each other way more than the Divas. The chemistry just isn’t there.
- Paige got distracted by Naomi and Sasha wins with a roll-up.
And I’m Like… Please get these girls into some stories I can emotionally invest into. You have eight or nine girls with differing personalities, there should be conflict. The story is these girls want to work together to make women’s wrestling better, by working together they have to fight each other. That should be the storyline behind the scenes, not in front of the curtain.
The Ascension vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose
- I wish Roman had different music. Simply for the fact that when The Shield re-unites we will hear Roman Reigns music and it won’t have that feeling that it should.
- We see that Roman and Dean need a 3rd member to team against the Wyatts.
- Are Dean and Roman in the tag division? I would not mind a New Day vs. Roman Dean program at all.
- Holy Crap adding Ambrose and Reigns with the Dudleys, Ascension, PTP, New Day, Lucha Dragons, and Matadores we almost have enough teams where you can do main event, mid-card, and enhancement talent teams. These are all teams that have been established for almost over Two years.
- Dean and Roman do a Doomsday Device like the “Road Warriors” says JBL when The Dudleys do that already!
- Ambrose got the pin after a Dirty Deeds and Superman punch by Roman
- Braun Strowman and Bray show up to warn Dean, Roman, and the 3rd man that the Apocalypse happens at Night of Champions.
And I’m Like… It’s interesting who they will choose, it could be a Randy Orton, or a debuting new guy, or a Erick Rowan. This is the story we are working with, it went from we don’t like each other so we fight like cats and dogs to we have three guys you have two. I am interested in where this goes.
Ryback has a promo, I noticed how the interviewers don’t ask questions anymore. “Ryback tonight you face Seth Rollins…” Then give the mic to the wrestler and he goes into promo mode. Ryback speaks in such a robotic matter, unless he says THE BIG GUY or mimes him doing the Shellshock. He said he is a fighting champion, Owens showed up and made some puns because I love puns and Kevin Owens.
- Ryback gave his belt to a kid in the audience to hold onto and I got emotional. Way to go Ryback, you pull a Bret Hart and give a kid a possession. UGH why you make me like you?!?!?
- As Seth comes out, I realize that I watch wrestling in different mind-sets sometimes. Sometimes I go into a match wondering what the characters are doing, how they got there, what the backstage stuff is. Other times it will be “I just wanna see them hit this one spot or move.” Another time it will be, what are they doing right and wrong with crowd reaction and facial expressions. Then there are times like these, when Ryback gives a kid his belt to hold onto, and I feel like a kid again, not caring about timing or spots, not caring about what the announcers say, or if the crowd is responding like they should and responding to what. I watch as a fan, a fanchild if you will.
- Ryback looks like every kids create-a-wrestler, you go all crazy on the wrestling attire, but just want to use him so you throw some generic color elbow and knee pads on him, some arm bands cause why not, and give him the default moveset cause you JUST WANNA PLAY.
- Seth Rollins is a guy every kid would hate right? He beat Cena, he brags all the time, he talks and talks and goes on and on and no one has shut him up yet.
- As a kid I did not care who was going over or how their character was presented. I didn’t remember the crap storylines, I watched the match in front of me, got immersed and enjoyed whatever it was. I keep thinking about that kid with the belt, he probably feels so much emotion when Ryback gets hit, worry when he looks hurt. He must feel so much joy when the arena chants FEED ME MORE, all that kid wants, all my fanchild wants is Ryback to win. Doesn’t matter how, doesn’t matter if its pretty, just win. Don’t give that kid the belt to protect just to watch you lose.
- The crowd is quiet though, Ryback is showing off feats of strength, Seth uses his smarts and quickness to stay on top.
- Seth does THREE dives to the outside in succession, he did two, but the crowd chanted one more time and he obliged. It was entertaining and everything, but Seth you want to get boo’d, be smarter about it, maybe fake the dive and laugh at the crowd, maybe not dive and roll outside hit a clothesline. MAYBE if you wanna get boo’d don’t jump off ropes and stuff, I mean I get that he is an athlete, but we don’t need to see it when we boo you.
- Rollins is like bizzarro Orton. They do talk the same, over explain everything, other than that though. Orton is a good guy and wrestles so slow and prodding making almost every match boring. Rollins the bad guy has a high octane offense, making all of his matches a little enjoyable.
- Sting got Seths attention again and Ryback gets a distraction roll-up.
And I’m Like… Nevermind Sting trying to be all Stardust about shit. That little kid gave Ryback the IC Title back, but not before asking “Are you alright?!?” OH MY GOD!! This kid witnesses Ryback winning and all he cares about is getting that Big Guy his title and making sure he is alright… I LOVE THAT
New Day talks to Seth in the back. They are the epitome of maximizing their minutes. They are obviously having fun, and are talented enough to not let it get in the way of being very good on television. Edge and Christian show up and remind us about dumb story lines and Christians non-retirement retirement. Edge vs. Rollins would have been fun though, Rollins points out how he is an opportunist like Edge.
Xavier chants “Battle” with a trombone in hand, I thought they were going for “YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME” but they did some video game song. Then Big E ate Christians kazoo. Dudleys show up and its weird how old Edge and Christian look. How are the Dudleys still doing it? They were in so much extreme and hardcore matches, they wrestled anywhere, amazing longevity…
Summer Rae comes out… Rusev accepts her apology and Ziggler comes out. Rusev walks away after getting superkicked. They talked about Lana alot.
And I’m Like… so done with this. I must not be target market.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
- Speaking of things I’m over.. lol
- As Orton walked out I noticed his video is different, it is just the words “In My Veins” have they replaced entrance videos with just names and words?
- Does anything that happens matter here? Like anything, can you personally think of what could happen to make you want to watch these two wrestle again? Orton wins with RKO
And I’m Like… They hit all their signature spots, they went hard. I am so impressed with Orton and Sheamus, they must know how complacent the viewers are with their pairing. They still get all their moves in, they still do not phone it in, by the end of the match, the crowd is boo’ing and cheer’ing and counting with the ref during the nearfalls. That’s how I decide if the crowd liked the match or bought into the story that was being told, if they count with the ref. Not just saying “TWWOOO” but the ONE TWO AHHHH!
Wyatts come out and beat up Orton, cause Orton was talking to Dean and Roman. So we know who the 3rd man is….
By the way, there are so many itchy vagina commercials on Raw, its crazy. I know there is a pun there, but I’ll let you make the joke.
The Dudley Boys vs. Los Matadores
- As this match starts, I think to myself. Self, I say, who are the heels and faces in the tag divison? I feel like the idea of booking the divas before the revolution was put to use in the tag division.
- The crowd is quiet, Diego yells at Torito and walks into the 3D
And I’m Like… Nostalgia is fun and all, but they need a story.. Have they ever had a storyline? Come to think of it, I can’t come to think of one. Just as I ask who is the heel, the Matadores beat up Torito. Devon sees it and convinces Bubba they should help out Torito. There was our table spot of the night.
Cesaro vs. The Miz
- Miz said he would make Cesaro a star, Cesaro shook Miz’ hand too hard, so they are wrestling.
- At least we have a story?
- Does anyone have a name for what the Miz wears? What is that hood thing called exactly?
- I wish Cesaro still yodeled every now and then. Maybe while he holds his opponent in the gutwrench?
- Cesaro is still selling the rib injury from last week, thats good, but that also brings out Big Show
- Miz gets counted out cause he is hiding from Big Show, the bell rings and the crowd does not make a peep.
- ShowMiz explodes like a fart underwater. Cesaro was outside the ring too so it was a double countout.
- Big Show knocks out Cesaro too.
And I’m Like… It is so quiet… They can’t really make the viewer feel emotion on anything if the live crowd does not respond to the events. Imagine watching a superhero movie and all this destruction is happening, but all the civilians are just going about their daily business.
The Bellas come out to talk… They do the Seth Rollins thing where they say the same thing over and over… I really wanna fast forward, but I feel a match is going to happen. Nikki says “you can’t deny that Team Bella lead the revolution after I break the record” She was champion before the revolution so that makes no sense. Charlotte comes out.
Is there going to be a match or is Charlotte going to be all awkward? “Nikki Nikki Nikki, we all know I LOVE A PARTY, but for some reason you didn’t invite us. So I went to The Authority and got my title match next week” Yep its awkward, she wants to beat Nikki cause she wasn’t invited to Nikki’s party. THE REVOLUTION IS TELEVISED!!
John Cena and Prime Time Players vs. Seth Rollins and New Day
- Hey fan that walked out with Seth Rollins, thanks for just strutting and not trying violence. For real tho? WHAT THE HELL? If you want to be on WWE TV you go join some wrestling promotion and work your way to get there, don’t hop a damn rail for fame, it ruins all our times. You poop.
- New Day does not get microphones, that is sad. They still get the biggest reaction so far out of Non-Cena’s.
- Will we be able to tell when the crowd goes from “New DaySucks to New DayRocks?”
- Seth Rollins with constant praise from the New Day was something I didn’t know I needed to see. It seems like if you add New Day to anything they would make it better.
- Xavier has the trombone all the time now, he should lose it soon as to not get stale. The Rock was only around for half a decade and look at how many catchphrases and gimmicky things he had. Do something memorable with the thing and move on, you can always do a throwback, but you can’t if its played out. Like the Miz and his Awesome catchphrase.
- One thing that I don’t like about multi-man tag matches, is everyone has to get their shit in. Knowing this it’s hard to follow and care about the match until the breakdown where everyone does their signatures.
- Once shit is on and poppin though? Little shit stopping I’ll tell you that.
- Cena hits AA on Kofi for the win.
And I’m Like… The end kind of whimpered, the story of the episode was Seth Rollins lost two matches and can’t get his trophy. HHH tried to set him up tonight to prepare him for Night of Champions. If Seth keeps getting the deck stacked against him, we might have to cheer for his victories. A good way for a long term champion is an alignment turn during the reign. See Seth is like The Authority’s child. They want to keep him in line, they want to see him succeed. At the same time, he is too big headed, so they set him up to fail, to either change his attitude, or to keep him under their thumb. He continues to defy expectations, soon enough he will out grow HHH and I hope its written so we cheer him and not HHH.
Sting destroyed Seth Rollins statue and road away on the garbage truck that the statue was in. I like how this was a three week arc and something a character cared about got destroyed by his opponent. I am ready for Seth Rollins to beat Sting because of this circumstance, Sting is a thief and bully, Seth is a champion and braggadocios.
Well off to bed for work tomorrow. Have a good one.
-Jake