And I’m Like… (Reviewing WWE Fastlane February 21st 2016)

Hey! This is the last pay per view before WrestleMania! I am not reviewing the pre-show. Kalisto won.

Today has been a busy day for me, the restaurant was super busy this weekend so it is always nice to sit down and write about wrestling. I don’t have much in the sense of predictions. I want Dean to win because I think that story would have more threads to pull. I think Brock and The Wyatts will somehow cross paths to set up Mania. I think Sasha and Becky will win to set up some sort of match with Charlotte. Ziggler is going to lose because it’s the Kevin Owens show. AJ has to take out Jericho too. Well the show is about to start so lets get into it!!

Fastlane Opening

• The bumper before Fastlane was The New Day… Where are they on this card? They are gonna get a segment or something right?
• The show starts with Eva Marie’s feet and high speed driving through the city. We see Ambrose, Reigns and Brock doing stuff tied in with a bunch of road signs about the wrestlers and driving puns.
• Cole welcomes us to Fastlane from Cleveland

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs. Naomi and Tamina

• I am excited for this match! Story goes that Sasha used to be on a team with Naomi and Tamina. They were called Team B.A.D. and were all about “Unity”. Sasha said she wants to go at it alone to prove herself. In her first match after going on her lonesome, Naomi and Tamina interfered. Sasha got physical about it and Naomi beat up Sasha with Tamina’s help.
• Becky saved Sasha. Sasha would return the favor when Becky was getting beat up, but Sasha took her time to get to the ring, removing jewelry and going to the opposite side of the ring before entering the fray. The next week when Sasha was getting beat up again Becky ran in as fast as she could to help. Becky is a good person, Sasha is a successful person so in her mind she can’t have friends. Sasha hates to lose though so her and Becky put their differences aside to battle a common enemy.
• Naomi and Tamina have been a tight nit team for over a year now. Becky and Sasha have had troubles between them but have been friends.
• Tamina and Naomi come out together, Sasha and Becky come out separate.
• Becky and Sasha argue over who will start the match. Sasha starts but Becky quickly tags herself in.
• Becky couldn’t handle Tamina for a portion of the match but once Tamina tagged out Becky and Sasha were able to team up and take both women down on the outside.
• I believe the matches story is the distrust with the former B.A.E. Becky and Sasha and the unity of Naomi and Tamina.
• Naomi does the first big move of the match when she hits a stunner type move on Becky on the top rope. Becky bounced off the rope and hit the outside, hurting her ribs. She barely made it in the ring before the 10 count.
• Tamina puts a chin lock on Becky to make it even harder for Becky to breathe. JBL says Tamina could have been in the APA.
• This match is building to a Sasha Banks hot tag. Sasha is becoming livid on the apron as Becky gets worked over.
• “We Want Sasha” from the crowd. The faces these women exude shows the story as well. Naomi and Tamina look confident but frustration is growing. Becky looks helpless but so does Sasha. Becky’s helplessness is from the constant barrage of punishment. Sasha’s is that she can’t do anything from the apron and can’t get in the ring unless there was a tag.
• Becky dove for a hot tag but Tamina stopped it, the crowd wasn’t too responsive. Becky was able to break free and jump for the tag but Naomi grabbed Sasha’s legs and pulled Banks down so the tag wasn’t made.
• Tamina tossed Becky like she was yesterday’s garbage and Naomi hit a Lariat.
• Becky was able to beat Tamina and Naomi to the ground and crawled to Sasha to make the tag. As Lynch crawled the crowd slowly got louder and popped when Sasha got tagged in.
• Sasha hits some impressive moves that get’s ooh’s and aah’s from the crowd. After brushing her own feet and hitting a running knee in the turnbuckle Sasha asks the crowd if they “want more?” They cheer!
• Sasha goes for BankStatement but Tamina pulls her out of the ring. Sasha runs int oa Rear View but kicks out at two!!!
• Sasha gets hit by a superkick from Tamina. Tamina pins Sasha but Becky saves!!
• The finish is mad hot!! Sasha is able to La Mistica Tamina and turn it into a BankStatement, as Naomi went for the save Becky stopped and Disarmedher.
• The crowd exploded!!

And I’m Like… YES! That is the type of match I am looking for. The story was great, had a story going in that played out seamlessly with the story in the ring. The right people won and the crowd reacted like they should. We get a few more of these and this Diva’s Revolution might be a thing.

They show Machine Gun Kelly in the crowd. Remember when Kevin Owens powerbombed him off the stage? That was sweet.

Speaking of the commentators talk about last Monday’s Fatal-5 way where Kevin Owens won the Intercontinental Title…. I hope they showed MGK before this match for a reason. I hope it isn’t for MGK to help Ziggler win.

Intercontinental Championship

Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

• I got my KO shirt on, I am pulling for him to win. MGK really has me worried now.
• Ziggler comes out with red and black gear. I feel like he is having an identity crisis, yet knows who he is at the same exact time. I don’t get him at the moment. He will be the guy that people in 10 or 20 years put on “should have been WWE Champion but wasn’t” lists.
• The story going into this match is… Owens beat Ziggler a few times, Ziggler beat Owens a few times. Owens and Ziggler were in the same title match and Owens won so they are wrestling.
• As the match starts its some collar and elbowing. Owens takes a cheap shot of hitting a straight on head-butts. They go back to chain wrestling, the crowd is pro Owens. Kevin yells to Dolph “your hometown likes me more than you!!!”
• Ziggler is able to outwrestle Owens as they roll around on the mat. Owens will hit a strong attack and put headlocks on to take energy out of Ziggler.
• Dolph comes at Kevin with fast paced offense. Owens takes Dolph’s momentum and Irish whips Ziggler hard in to the turnbuckle.
• Ziggler sells his shoulder and the ref checks on him. Owens tries to kick the shoulder but the ref pushes Ziggler off as we see two or three replays of Ziggler hitting his shoulder awkward on the turnbuckle.
• Owens works on the shoulder a bit but stays to his game plan of chin locks and headlocks. That way it will make Ziggler’s fast paced offence less effective.
• Ziggler’s offense involves his shoulder a lot, so every time Dolph hits an attack he hurts himself which works to Owens advantage.
• Owens was showboating to the crowd while Ziggler was in the corner. Owens went for a shoulder block but Ziggler moved and Owens rocked his shoulder into the post. Ziggler starts hitting all of his signature offense and suddenly his shoulder doesn’t hurt anymore. He has energy and his limbs are just fine.
• Owens keeps reversing Dolph’s comeback attempts after taking most of what Ziggler had to give. Owens was able to connect with a cannonball in the corner for a close nearfall.
• Owens is angry so he screams at Michael Cole from the ring.. He has an unbridled hatred for Cole and it is the best.
• Ziggler is back to having a hurt shoulder, Owens is spent from all of Dolph’s big moves. Both men are breathing hard and their body language shows that any move can beat them.
• Owens fights off of Ziggler’s top rope facebuster and hits a spinning fisherman buster from the top rope. Ziggler rolls to the outside of the ring so he wasn’t able to get pinned.
• Owens had to leave the ring to get Ziggler who had rested enough to catch Kevin with a superkick to the chin.
• Ziggler had to roll Owens in the ring, once both men fought gravity and got to their feet, Ziggler tried a Zig-Zag. Owens reversed that into a superkick.
• Owens fell over and wasn’t able to pin. Once Owens started walking to Ziggler, Dolph hit a Superkick. That made Owens roll to the outside to avoid the pinfall.
• Owens waited for Dolph and was able to capitalize setting up a powerbomb on the apron. Dolph reversed that by hitting a hurricanrana on Owens into the steps.
• Ziggler and Owens are back in the ring and Dolph went for a Fameasser, he connected but only got two. “This is Awesome” from the crowd.
• Ziggler tries for Sweet Chin Music but Owens turns that into a Pop-Up Powerbomb for the win. The crowd was ecstatic.

And I’m Like… That was fantastic. When Dolph went for the final Superkick Owens slipped behind the referee. That made it so Dolph could have won, Owens hid behind the referee so that makes him slimy. That was perfect. What else could you ask for with those two. Fastlane is shaping up to be a fun one!

Big Show is in the back saying different idioms. Ryback shows up and does some action movie lines followed up with some idioms. Kane shows up to sa he is sending the Wyatt’s to hell as the lights turn red.

The Wyatt Family vs. Big Show, Kane, and Ryback

• The storyline here is that the Wyatts want to take out the “Titans” of WWE and replace them with themselves. This story was started a few weeks ago and comes to a head tonight. Bray calls himself the ‘King of the Gods’ now.
• There is a dope video package that has an eery, bluesy, southern rock song to it. It kind of sounds like The Record Company and their 50’s style microphones.
• Even though this match had very little build, the idea is so good. You have Kane, Ryback and Big Show. They have gone to war with one another for years, Ryback not so much but he has feuded with both men. They have a mutual type of “warriors” respect for one another. They know their time is coming to an end so they band together to take out the “threat to their thrones”. The Wyatts want to prove they are worth something and being the biggest big bads is like their all time dream. I wish there was more time to build emotion behind it, but the idea is a fun one to think about.
• Bray is gonna sit this one out. He pulled up a chair in front of the commentators. I guess his rocking chair is broken.
• Erick Rowan and Ryback start the match off. I think Rowan and Ryback match up well for this match. Harper would then match with Kane as the better veteran and Strowman matches Show for biggest man on team.
• Big Show unzips Erick Rowans jumpsuit and slaps him on the bare chest in what looks to be a very painful situation.
• Harper and Strowman are able to handle Ryback quite easily. The crowd isn’t too loud either. This is the pee break match I think. Since the Diva’s are putting on good matches lately, some match has to be reserved for using the restroom.
• The Wyatt’s get in some trouble but are always able to gain control of the match again because they are better at teamwork.
• Every time Ryback or Rowan get tagged in they are the ones getting beat up. Harper is in control of Kane and as a team the Wyatt’s are winning the match. Big Show hasn’t really done much in the match but it’s not like the crowd is cheering for him to get the hot tag either.
• Strowman misses a big boot and falls to the outside. That let’s Kane tag Ryback in and Ryback finally hits some huge offense. He hits a running knee so hard Ryback almost flies out of the ring over Harper. Ryback channels his inner Ezekiel Jackson and hits like five bodyslams on Harper. Rowan breaks up the pin, Kane takes out Rowan. Strowman takes out Kane. Big Show takes out Strowman and throws Rowan onto the whole Wyatt family. Big Show then hits a spear on Braun.
• Ryback and Harper are fighting it out in the ring. Ryback had it but Bray distracted The Ryback, it wasn’t enough though and Ryback hit the Shellshock on Harper and looked to hurt Luke’s shoulder.

And I’m Like… Confused. I was certain The Wyatt’s would win to build momentum for WrestleMania against Brock Lesnar. Now The Titan’s of WWE won and Luke Harper hurt his shoulder maybe. That puts the main event into even more uncertainty. The match wasn’t anything too special but the finish added much intrigue to the overall picture of WrestleMania.

JoJo interviews Roman Reigns and says Dean Ambrose is his “so called brother” Roman Reigns said after tonight nothing in WWE will be the same. Is that foreshadowing of Roman becoming a villain? Maybe neither guys turn.

Ambrose shows up and says he doesn’t want to sit on the side of the road as Roman goes on the Road to WrestleMania. They drop some puns about roads and Fastlane’s. Tensions are running very high. Both guys have enough edge to them to join Authority or battle Authority. This match means a lot because the losers don’t have a guaranteed spot on a marquee WrestleMania match.

Diva’s Championship Match

Charlotte (c) vs. Brie Bella

• The Diva video package starts with Daniel Bryan retiring while sad piano plays. Brie talks about how much she loves Bryan. Brie I won’t cheer for you because proxy. The storyline is Charlotte is mean to Brie because Brie is having a hard time in life. Charlotte tells Brie to go home and be a wife. Brie says she is a tough beat. That is honestly the story.
• We see that Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella have this match dedicated to them by Brie. Brie is even wearing those furry boots from Bryan’s WrestleMania 30 win.
• All signs are pointing to the feel good victory of Brie Bella. I feel like Charlotte will win to make us hate her more as a character.
• The match is a very slow pace. Brie is doing some moves that show she is trying real hard, but Charlotte has complete control.
• Charlotte is chanting “YES!” after many of her offensive moves, it isn’t getting boo’s from the crowd and really just ends up looking like Charlotte LOVES beating up Brie.
• Charlotte pulled Brie’s hair. Charlotte tried to wrestle her into a Yes! Lock but can only get a crucifix pin attempt. The crowd is dead.
• Charlotte puts a leg scissors on Brie’s neck and works her signature moves. Brie tries to go into Brie Mode but she has crappy timing so Charlotte has to wait for Brie to Areact.
• I feel bad for Brie. This match has the girls going hard and trying to get the crowd into their story. She just isn’t a good wrestler. She can’t connect I think, I don’t know. The only time the crowd gets into it is on Yes! kicks and Yes! Locks. Flair tries to stop Brie from the Yes! Lock but Brie puts a single leg crab on Charlotte so she can face Flair. Charlotte just overpowers Brie and Figure-8’s her.

And I’m Like… Cole “thinks Brie’s leg gave out when she was readjusting her submission move” Cole I think you don’t think Brie did a good job so you tell us what the ending was supposed to be just in case we didn’t pick up on it. I’m sure if the first Diva’s match wasn’t on the card this match would have played better. There is just a drastic difference in the Diva generations. Never more evident than tonight. Charlotte and Brie tried. Sometimes it just doesn’t click.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

• The story here is that AJ debuted in WWE at Royal Rumble. Styles had a great reaction from the crowd and did well. Jericho faces Styles on AJ’s Raw debut. Styles wins, even though earlier that night Jericho was saying AJ is finally in the big leagues and can’t hang with the likes of Chris. Jericho then won on Smackdown! AJ challenged Jericho to a third match to determine the better man. So here we are. AJ has to win to prove that his original victory wasn’t a fluke.
• Jericho says “your only as good as your last match.” Jericho thinks he has the upper hand because he won on Smackdown!
• The match starts with some collar and elbowing, some waist locking, and some head locking and hammer locking.
• That lasted for a cup of coffee before the pace picks up and we get a tease of a Walls of Jericho and a Calf Crusher. They are even steven.
• Dueling “AJ Styles/Y2J” The crowd is hotter than they have been all night.
• AJ gets in control after reversing a Walls with a hurricanrana. The dueling chants are getting louder.
• AJ takes a massive back body drop. What I love about that move is that it is so basic, yet can be so amazing.
• Jericho hits a baseball slide and is in complete control once they are on the outside of the ring.
• Jericho has a chin lock on AJ as the crowd is still dueling with their chants.
• AJ goes for a dive over the top rope but Jericho reverses with a drop kick. AJ gets rolled into the ring and Jericho hits a springboard splash. AJ kicks out at one as the crowd is dueling again.
• AJ is started to familiarize us with his moveset. As Jericho is seated AJ does the jumping forearm.
• Styles went for the springboard backflip ddt.  It was sloppy but Jericho and AJ were able to save it for a close nearfall.
• Network was skipping and froze soo… You know how slow timeun goes when your waiting for something to get corrected..? Long time.
• My feed is back with Jericho and AJ trying to suplex each other.
• Neither suplex works and AJ puts Jericho on the top rope, he is able to kick Jericho in the head to stun Jericho long enough. Jericho went for a top rope hurricanrana. Jericho blocks it and tries to drop to a Walls of Jericho but Styles lands on his neck which sent a heatwave through my body.. I hate when moves do that to me. It’s a combination of shock, horror, and worry.
• AJ fought out of it and got to the outside. Jericho is giving him time to breathe.
• Jericho hits a Liontamer on the outside and Cole calls the move correctly. That means Jericho legit has two finishers that are Boston Crab related.
• Jericho hit a Codebreaker once AJ got in the ring and Styles got his arm under the rope. Jericho called him a “stupid son of a bitch and a stupid man.”
• AJ was able to counter Jericho and he hit the Styles Clash for the victor…. JERICHO KICKED OUT!!!
• AJ held onto Jericho’s leg and set up the Calf Crusher. Jericho is trying his hardest to fight out of it but has to give up and tap out. WOW

And I’m Like… Even with a frozen feed, video skipping, repeating, and not being too enjoyable. That match was great. There were spots that made me cringe, spots that surprised me. Parts where I thought Jericho was too rough, and a nearfall I bought so hard I was typing victory as Jericho was kicking out. The match ends and as AJ celebrated Jericho shook his hand, kind of a “you belong here” hand shake.

Cutting Edge Peep Show with New Day

• Tony Chimel is out to say “Rated-R SUUUUPERSTAR”
• I was never too into Edge and Christian. I liked them in the Brood. Now I am really not into their characters. They seem like they are outdated. I mean as real people they are amazing, as wrestlers they are amazing, as characters they irk me a bit.
• New Day comes out with Francesca II, jumpsuits and unicorn horns.
• “Out with the old, in with the New Day” Xavier says that New Day can do whatever they want. Xavier hits a scat style “rap” meh.
• Christian and Edge are trying to tear apart the New Day. They try and say that New Day stole the Christian and Edge shtick and that is why they are popular. Edge says some shit about chocolate being vanilla. They say something about Kofi dropping his Jamaican accent.
• New Day rip on the whole tag team divison. Edge and Christain say they are starting to like the New Day. New Day rip on the League of Nations and they show up. So I don’t know who we are supposed to cheer for.
• Kofi is beginning to lose his cool but Xavier and Big E are calm and collected. New Day says it’s a day of rest so they are turning the other cheek. Big E waves his hand out of his butt and they leave.
• League of Nations is now picking a fight with Edge and Christian… I don’t get this….
• The League scares Christian and Edge out of the ring and now New Day are on their side.

And I’m Like… Are New Day babyfaces now? That segment Totally Reeked of Booty.Tru

Social Outcasts came out.. They talk about cars and street rules because Fastlane and Road to WrestleMania. Adam Rose says the Social Outcasts are Pruis’

R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

• So this is the match before the Main Event…
• The story behind this match is… Someone told them to have a match…
• Outcasts do the typical victory lap.
• Goldust runs out to help R-Truth. Which he does.
• Goldust threw Adam Rose into the ring and R-Truth dodged Rose. Axel rolled up Truth for the win.
• Goldust and Truth had a conversation.

And I’m Like… That happened. Good thing Curtis got a win on a Pay Per View I guess.

Number One Contender Match

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. B rock Lesnar

• The video package is about how unstoppable Brock Lesnar is, how more guts than brains Dean Ambrose is, and how confident Roman Reigns is. How Roman subtlety thinks he is better than Ambrose.
• The match hinges on Ambrose and Reigns working together long enough to keep Lesnar down. If Ambrose and Reigns fight each other than Lesnar will win for sure. At least that is the story going in.
• Ambrose and Lesnar got cheers, Roman got cheers and boo’s.
• Cole calls Lesnar the “roadblock on the Fastlane to WrestleMania”
• Lillian Garcia announced Ambrose and Roman but Paul announced Brock Lesnar and said Brock is coming out of the University of Minnesota.
• The bell rings and Lesnar goes right for Ambrose. Roman saves Ambrose quickly. The question I pose is, Does Lesnar think Ambrose is more of a threat, or does he see him as the weaker of the two? Lesnar’s game plan is either, take out the toughest and deal with the weak one later, or take the weak one out so he can focus on the toughest.
• Lesnar just looks at Ambrose as Dean tries to punch Brock. Lesnar don’t mess around.
• Brock adds such an energy to this match. Right from the get go you can feel a sense of urgency and a certain sense of excitement in the crowd.
• Lesnar did an overhead belly-to-belly on Ambrose on the outside. Dean landed on his head.
• Lesnar is suplexing both competitors relentlessly. Cole points out how Roman got hit with tons of German’s at Mania and almost won the match.
• Lesnar is fighting Roman like he did Cena at Summerslam.
• Lesnar almost had Roman pinned after an F-5 but Ambrose got the save. Lesnar looked at Dean like he couldn’t believe Dean wants the punishment to continue. Ambrose slapped Brock in the face and Lesnar flipped a lid. Ambrose is a rag doll.
• The crowd is counting along to all the German suplexes. This match is really just Lesnar having his way with 2/3 of the Shield.
• One the German count gets to 10 the crowd acts like Tye Dillinger is in the ring.
• Roman hits a flash Spear on Brock while Brock was trying to F-5 Ambrose.
• Lesnar kicked out but is stumbling around the ring now. After Brock gets punched in the head he rolls out of the ring because he is smart.
• Reigns ran and jumped onto Brock’s shoulders. Brock was about to F-5 Roman but Ambrose hit Lesnar in the nuts. Legit these two can’t handle Brock. They can barely handle him while on a team with one another.
• The table gets stripped and the Shield boys are looking to dump Lesnar through the table.
• Lesnar is powerbombed through a table. Now it is down to Reigns and Ambrose until the Beast stirs and awakes.
• Reigns and Ambrose waste no time to start throwing blows. They do a yay/boo spot after a near fall. The crowd is cheering Ambrose HARD!
• As Dean hit the rebound lariat, Lesnar stirs and awakes.
• Roman and Dean look at each other and decide to stop fighting until Lesnar is neutralized.
• The story to this match is Ambrose and Reigns only believe they can beat each other, they team up to get rid of Lesnar so they can decide out of the two who is the winner. Lesnar is a machine and tries to wreck his opponents.
• Lesnar is powerbombed through a second commentators table.
• Ambrose and Regins decide to bury Lesnar so they dump tables and chairs and monitors on top of Lesnar. He is gonna pull some Super Shredder shit.
• Roman hits Dean and is now in control of the whole contest.
• Both Roman and Dean do some signature moves. Roman even does a Backlund one arm powerbomb attempt.
• Ambrose goes for his top rope elbow but gets caught in the superman punch. Reigns goes for the Spear but Ambrose is able to sequence it to hit the Dirty Deeds. IT got two.
• Ambrose was on Reigns shoulder and Brock suplexed both men. Dean rolled to the outside.
• Lesnar got up and got Speared. As Roman was crawling for the pin Lesnar hit the reverse double wristlock or Kimura.
• Roman John Cena’s it and fights to his feet. Ambrose brings a chair into the ring and beats Lesnar down, then turns his attention to Roman.
• Ambrose is taking everyone out with a chair but gets hit with a Spear by Roman for the three count….

And I’m Like… That match was intense the whole time.. I loved the match but the finish doesn’t get me too excited. Roman vs. HHH seems like its too easy to see coming. Dean and Brock kind of are set up to have  match with each other. It could be NoDQ to give Dean a chance. The crowd is raining boo’s down on top of him. He will continue to be shoved to the spotlight, we must accept!

Well that was a fun show, outside of the top of hour three and Diva’s title match I would say the whole show was overly enjoyable. I know there are fans excited for Mania’s Main Event. I know there are fans that don’t care. I am just excited that Mania is so close. WrestleMania is the only time of year I get excited! It is my birthday and Christmas and everything else rolled up into one.

The show ends with HHH walking into the ring. Both the champion and challenger looking at the WrestleMania sign.

Well that is it for me! You all please like and share and comment and all that. You will be the one to spread the word! You will get the cool points for the whole month of February!

Thanks so much! Have a good one. Let’s continue on Road to WrestleMania!

-Jake