http://www.cheap-heat.com WWE, TNA, ROH, NJPW - Blogs, Reviews, Top Lists, Indy News & Results Wed, 23 Sep 2015 01:20:59 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.3.1

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-6-im-back/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-6-im-back/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2015 11:12:14 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Reviews http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13275 So, I took a month off form writing about wrestling here on Cheap Heat to do some other important life stuff. We'll call it unavoidable because if I call it Dave no one will understand what that means. I've been keeping up with the good stuff though. Like how my predictions form a few columns […]

So, I took a month off form writing about wrestling here on Cheap Heat to do some other important life stuff. We'll call it unavoidable because if I call it Dave no one will understand what that means. I've been keeping up with the good stuff though. Like how my predictions form a few columns back sort of came true when Magnus, Eric Young, and Booby Roode all signed with GFW. Other than that I mean, it's not like I missed anything, right?

Well…..all right then. I guess July was a pretty damn eventful month for good or ill in the wrestling world. Mostly for ill. Not that people are helping. I kinda feel like the online wrestling community is currently a hell of a lot like that church fight scene in Kingsman. And if you don't understand what that means, you need to go find out. That said, I think we can pull ourselves out of this weird horrible month. So let's do that here and now. Or at least, let's do a teeny tiny bit of that. Let's discuss random topics.

Okay. Spiffy. Let's start with Neville.

I have high hopes for Neville. I know some people have already started letting go of their own hopes, but I am not among them. I'll tell you why, because that's sort of the entire fucking point of being a column writer. I've been struck by a pattern for some time now. Vince and company really really want a high flyer to push to the moon (then preferably jump off of it). If you look closely you'll see they've been trying to pull this off for quite a while. Jeff Hardy, John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, RVD, and a few others have been the beneficiary and then later the victim of this desire. All of them got heavy pushes for their daredevil ways, and all of them eventually fell to the wayside for a variety of reasons. Yet when one fell, another would always rise until they showed they couldn't be that guy.

Granted, said failings were not always the fault of the guy in question. Hell, I could a whole column on Morrison alone. The set of circumstances that led to his depushing and eventual removal form the roster are kind of ridiculous. However, let's focus on Neville. He's that next guy. The big hope that the WWE can push a high flying crowd pleaser. They've tried to turn him into a superhero. They've protected the shit out of his finisher, going so far as to make sure that even the likes of John Hilary Cena didn't even kick out of it. Those of you who are being pessimistic ought to consider that one for a moment. They haven't precisely booked him great, but they're not exactly booking anyone great right at the moment, except for probably The New Day. Because…it's me. What did you expect?

You knew I was gonna sneak one of these in right? You totally should’ve known.

Neville is going to get his push you guys. They WANT him to be over. They WANT him to be competing for titles that are half his size. The thing is that he has something the other people on the list almost never had. Consistency. He can do the amazing thing and then repeat it. And repeat it. And then do it with a twist. None of the other potentials had that capability except for RVD and he was already long in the tooth and high as a kite by the time it was relevant. Neville might go through a change or two, but make no mistake, the guy is going upward. I'll let you decide if the pun was intended. Either way, let's move on to a different topic.

Titus O'Neil impressed me on commentary.

He sat down at that table and he OWNED the entire ten minute period he was in. I honestly never realized he had that level of charisma and presence. He clearly discomfited JBL and Byron Saxton. He brought his less charismatic partner in with a brilliant running gag. He worked fairly well with Cole. He advanced storylines. By the time he and Darren Young left I was pretty much ready to say let's turn all commentary over to Miz and Titus. All of it.

I wanted to see more of Titus. I hope the WWE takes note and also ignores the complaining that I bet a few JBL shaped people did. The guy's got something. Use it. Let him be in more segments. Let he and Darren go toe to toe with New Day backstage. Let's see if we can make the kind of magic that you're hoping guys make every time they open their mouths. I think you could really have something special there if you just run with it. Let them grab a third guy for their team and do a competing Freebird style team. That would sure as hell be unique. Just do SOMETHING. Don't waste a great display of personality and charisma like we saw. Use it. And maybe make JBL do something instead of lazily coasting.

Let's talk about Bray Wyatt.

After drifting aimlessly for a while, it looks like they're getting smarter and giving him some acolytes back. Obviously Luke Harper returned to his main sidekick ways and the rumor says that Adam Rose is returning to his Leo Kruger role and joining up. That could be quite good and in my opinion, an upgrade over Rowen. All three guys can tlak for starters, and all three guys can work as well. I've never been big on old sheep face, so for me this represents not just the WWE sort of admitting that the cult leader should actually…you know…..have a cult, but also that maybe they need to do something with it.

The fact that it's all happening in the midst of Wyatt's feud with continual near superstar Roman Reigns tells me that they have further plans. Granted, these plans probably don't end with Wyatt winning, but hey, plans are better than…..pretty much the entire last year if we're being honest. Throw in the almost proper usage of Roman Reigns as a sort of relaxed sarcastic badass and we could actually be in for an entertaining time as it ramps up. I'm cautiously intrigued by what could come next. Especially if these moves represent a smart and more consistent booking plan for both Wyatt and Reigns. The lack of both smart and consistent booking has already hindered both men to a severe degree. Not to mention Ambrose or Rollins.

Because there’s never a wrong time for Python

Okay. Last one. You ALL owe Michael Cole an apology.

Especially if you're Vince McMahon. But that's not what I mean. Now, some of you may not have seen Beast in the East. It's on the WWE Network and easy to watch if you sign up. I'd tell you how much it is but I can't remember how much it costs. Ether way, if you didn't see it (or saw it and weren't paying attention) you missed something beautiful. Michael Cole actually got the chance to do his job.

I know what you're thinking. You've become so numb to the Cole you hear on TV week in and week out. You may have even decided long ago that he was never any good to begin with. Well, you're wrong. Cole is actually DAMN good at his job. Beast in the East was a great example. He got to work without the usual nonsense and it was phenomenal. He called moves. He stayed with the action. He was knowledgeable and informative. He was a throwback to what many of you have probably forgotten, which is the old Smackdown days when he was at the table with Taz.

This may seem somewhat unbelievable to you. Less believable than say a headline that reads "Man Accidentally Shot in Face when Bullet Ricochets off Armadillo". Well, here's the thing. Both that headline and Cole being talented are real things that actually exist. And no, you don't have to look up that armadillo thing. You already know it was in West Texas. A place so weird that the rest of Texas is okay with capitalizing the west part just so you think it's a different state.

Michael Cole is a hell of an announcer. The man used to cover wars. Real ones. Not from the studio, I mean form within the countries currently at war. The guy knows his stuff. But what YOU have long decided is his lack of ability is really a dozen people in his ear pushing and prodding him to say this and that and do these things and just generally screwing it all up. If you still don't believe I will implore you one final time. Go watch the show and listen for yourself. In the meantime, I'm going to go to bed and hope nothing major happens between now and when I wake up, or the boss is going to have me rewriting this. So I will leave you with the only thing I can.

Millions of dollars.
Millions of dollars.
Millions of dollars.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-5-five-young-stars-to-build-a-company-around/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-5-five-young-stars-to-build-a-company-around/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2015 07:44:51 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Other Blogs http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12679 Young stars are all the rage in the WWE today. NXT is growing in popularity by leaps and bounds. New blood is showing up with such regularity that even older established stars are joining the party, sometimes after waiting for approximately 284 years to do so. Yeah, we're looking at YOU Joe.     It's […]

Young stars are all the rage in the WWE today. NXT is growing in popularity by leaps and bounds. New blood is showing up with such regularity that even older established stars are joining the party, sometimes after waiting for approximately 284 years to do so. Yeah, we're looking at YOU Joe.

“Joe’s gonna kill you….eventually” just doesn’t have the same ring to it

It's a situation I haven't seen since the cusp of the Attitude Era, nearly twenty years ago. For the small group of you who aren't…..okay…let's write this sentence honestly. For the vast majority of you that aren't old enough to remember that, the time just before the Attitude Era (about 95-97) saw the rise of the likes of HBK, Bret Hart, Golddust, and The Undertaker. When the switch got flipped, a lot of young hungry guys were really just getting into the company or just starting to make their mark. Austin, Rock, Foley, and HHH were really just starting to get their feet wet in the WWF. I could add another dozen or more names to the list. Meanwhile, at the same time, WCW was experiencing the same thing with the likes of Goldberg, Jericho, Benoit, and a whole mess of cruiserweights.

The moment felt a lot like it does today. Like we were on the cusp of a great time for wrestling. While we're not quite there yet the evidence is ample that its coming and the possibilities are wide open for what could happen in the next couple of years. Whether or not the companies involved are up to the task is another story. We've all got our personal tales of frustration with a character or storyline. I still mourn for what could have been with Muhammed Hussan years ago had they stayed with their original course. I'm sure you all have a story just like it. Just like I'm sure most of us have said at some point that we could book the company better than they do. We could make stars better than they do. We could build up the young guys better than they do.

Well, here I am. I'm going to put my money where my mouth is. Not for real, because that is disgusting. Seriously. Stop putting money in your mouth. You might as well drink Herpes from a can. But in a real metaphorical way. In public. On the internet. Where nothing is ever forgotten. I'm going to pick a group of five wrestlers under 30 years of age and I am going to tell you how I build my company around these groups. I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to elaborate. I'm going to eat column space with dramatic short sentence explanations of my plans.

You should stop thinking out loud Adam.

Fine, Austin Aries. Let's get this show on the road. What I'm going to do for each wrestler is give a little insight into why they're on my list, and then a general explanation of what I'd do with them in terms of characters, as well as booking. I also plan to tie into into the larger picture that is my fictional wrestling company. I'm going to give you some of my personal wrestling philosophy along the way and I'm going to try my best to explain to you why you're wrong if you disagree with me.

For starters, my character plans tend to revolve around gimmicks that are a reflection of real life. It's my opinion that the best wrestling and wrestlers have been built around realistic characters that struck a nerve for that time period. Hogan basically WAS the 80's. The All-American "dude" shouting patriot could've fit right in with every action star and icon from the era (and did actually). The Attitude Era was a reflection of its time, with the coming of age of the "extreme" fans, who had spent their teenage years weaned on grunge and a weird rise in piercings and vulgarity. Your average episode of Raw was no worse than an episode of Jerry Springer. People like D-X and Stone Cold resonated.

That's why my characters will tend to fit that mold, or the universal mold. Guys like Ric Flair (wild living playboy), Triple H (rich asshole banging the boss' daughter), or The Rock (smartass arrogant cool guy) fit a universal mold. These are people we've known in our lives, just turned up a little. I could go on and on with this, but I won't because I said so (and because I've been writing this column for two weeks now). The biggest characters all fit one of those two molds and mine will too. All right, let's get this show on the road with our first person.

CODY RHODES

Cody is basically the reason this article exists. Well, I should say he's the reason it exists in June. See, Cody turns 30 tomorrow. And I was NOT doing this list without him. Cody is a master of playing a gimmick to its hilt. From Dashing, to the darker version with a mask, to the mustache, to Stardust, Cody has taken every ill thought gimmick and made it work somehow or another. He's great at finding the reality of every dumb ass gimmick they give him, and making people relate to it, or at least react to it. That is a rare quality. Couple that above average ring skills and very good adaptability, and you've got the makings of a star. Just for the icing on the cake, he's got a wonderful mind for the business, and more or less created the Bad News Barrett gimmick as a joke. And even THAT got over before they cut the legs off.

Unfortunately, all the WWE seems to be able to do is put a star on his face. Well, in my company, we're getting rid of some of that idiocy. I'll take the Stardust gimmick shift it somewhat. As Golddust was a movie star, so Stardust should be the rock star equivalent. Cody's best work has been in finding ways to make really vain gimmicks work, and I know he could take all the inherent weirdness of the likes of Lady Gaga or other off kilter musical acts and run with it. Making him face will give him a chance to really work with the fans too, as he does good work there. When the time comes for a turn, we can go the route of the arrogant popstar who has ridiculous demands and acts like he's better than everyone or the rocker on the downside of his career in rehab and denial of his place. A role Cody could play in his sleep. Also one that is primed to succeed. Either way Cody will have all sorts of chances for memorable moments. And when it passes its time, Cody can morph into any one of a dozen other characters that also play to his strengths.

On my card, Cody's going to occupy that line just above main event status. He's going to be the guy I can use to build stars and have instant feuds with anyone who doesn't mesh with his over the top persona. He'll be a threat to win my big belt and make a great source of filler feuds to keep other stars apart for a bit. And he'll make each one feel like it was never filler whatsoever. A good set of parallels would be his brother or Mick Foley. I'll use him to step into big moments if someone isn't getting the reaction they need or injury strikes.

BRAY WYATT

Currently, all we've really gotten one version of Bray and it's been a series of missed opportunities. He's a very gifted big man in the ring, with good movement for his size and both technical and brawling ability out the wazoo. His characterization is phenomenal, too. I really believe he could play a variety of roles in a company. Obviously we'd start with the crazy cult leader type, and add in some dashes of people like Jim Jones or Fred Phelps. Make him creepy and make it seem like other wrestlers should be terrified of him. I'd also have him interact positively with children at ringside on a semi-regular basis just to ramp up the icky factor. I believe he could play every bit of that character in such a way that you're rooting for literally anybody to get one over on him. He could take every loss he did have and turn it into a success of some kind. And yes, we would have him explain some of his plans.

This guy makes a lot of sense.

Thanks, new Day. You guys are the best! As a face Bray could be more like the friendly crazy uncle. Having seen him talk while somewhat out of character I believe he could nail this role as well. He's kind of a friendly teddy bear in real life, and we would channel that into the goofy loveable but kind of crazy role that Mick Foley was so good at. Obviously, we couldn't carbon copy that, but let's be honest. We've all got that one drunk/weird/off kilter relative that is ultimately a good guy. We could use any number of character traits that fit that and build a face Wyatt around that. And people would love him.

On my card, he's probably trading the #1 heel spot back and forth with Rollins for the most part. As a face he'd still be very high up the card, and we would definitely use his crazy loveable face energy to offset every heel that is more on the slick or professional side. He'd be a long running heel champion and an Austin/Rock kind of face that gets screwed over but comes back. Side note, The Rock lost more matches as a top level face than anyone I know of. Most were with some sort of shenanigans, yes.

Shenanigans?

He lost them, though. WWE seems to have forgotten to do that part to actually make your face character seem vulnerable. Hint hint hint. Wyatt as a face would definitely be that kind of figure. He'd be a guy people would get behind or boo the crap out of. It wouldn't even be hard. I don't want to be ridiculous and say my toddler could book this character better than he has been, but….you know…kinda.

And remember, I still poop myself.

Well, I mean, that's probably true of some people on Creative too if we're being fair. And shouldn’t you be in bed?

SETH ROLLINS

At 28, Rollins has it all. In the ring he's a superb worker. Not just from a move to move standpoint. He's got great reactions, he sells well, and he does the little things that really put him over the top. Outside the ring, he's got the complete package as well. He can be serious, funny, hammy, smarmy, sarcastic, passionate, whiny, etc etc. The guy has his character traits down to a tee. I firmly believe he can take pretty much any character set you give him and run with it. Just anything, really. I mean, the guy’s a natural at pissing people off.

This a real sign that exists.

Personally, I'd start with the bag full of dicks character he currently has and really amp it up. Maybe he needs a real tag team to provide extra security, while allowing J&J to move into the role of point men who handle his day to day affairs (they'd be great at that). I'd play up the mastermind angle, and really let him be an obnoxious twit who is right about what he says the vast majority of the time. He's the guy that sends a spy into Wyatt's cult for six months for info. He's the guy who meticulously plans out outcomes to things we don't even know exist yet. Let him be almost supernaturally good at planning and strategizing what's to come. Most importantly, make the payoffs make sense. Basically make him Batman in that regard.

As a face on the other hand, he could be the "big good" who stops attacks before they start or manages to outmaneuver more powerful forces (most of the time). He could bring people to his side by warning them of crazy shit that's going to happen, only for them to not believe him and it actually happen. Again, in a way that makes sense. He could and would play the roles very well. He and Wyatt would probably rarely have the same alignment at the same time, since they do occupy somewhat similar roles. Rollins would be one hell of a face of the company, or the guy you love to hate. Especially when I give him back the Curb Stomp, since unlike WWE, I don't have to worry about everyone and their mother suing me (and probably winning via gigantic bias against them).

DEAN AMBROSE

Ahh, the Lunatic Fringe. How I have tolerated the completely unstable way they've booked you. Ambrose COULD be one of the great crazy man type characters of all time. He does things that make no sense to anyone but him. He talks like a drunk guy riffing on whatever is in his addled brain. He throws caution to the wind and does things that make you think that maybe the guy behind the character is also batshit insane.

Yes, he could be used so much betterererer. He could absolutely be the wildcard you toss into anything at any time and just tell him "go make something up". He's the one character that doesn't require normal logic, and who can exist on hair thin explanations because we would regularly get to see him do equally crazy things, and those hair thin explanations would be perfectly in line with everything else he does. That's where the WWE has screwed up. They missed the dividing line between us being totally on board with him hiding in a car trunk for hours, but hating the cartoon BS he pulled with Wyatt. The only good thing they've really done with him is the continued theme of him stealing titles, which is hilarious. Kudos to them on THAT bit at least.

Not in my show. In my show he will still do outlandish and crazy stuff, just within a broad set of guidelines. He's the event creating celebrity we all secretly enjoy the hell out of. He's P. Diddy showing up at an awards show with an unplanned giant truck with music and his own show for no reason. He's Russell Crowe punching people who won't let him call his kids. He's Robert Downey Jr telling off paparazzi in public. We don't exactly know why he's doing things. We don't have a clue what's next. Yet it always makes some weird kind of sense, and it almost doesn't matter because what he just did was awesome. He's a Macho Man promo come to life and allowed to roam.

DIG IT!

When he gets a little too far overboard, or crosses a few lines, he's also the completely casual insane scary bastard that's coming after the guy you're cheering for. He's the epitome of what Raven could've been once upon a time, but better. He can and will go to whatever the line is and then tap dance right the hell across it, and pretty much get away with it. He's basically The Joker, minus all that murder and such. Even the other bad guys are scared of him because he's completely unpredictable and has virtually no limits. I can use him all over my company. He can feud with anyone at any time and have really good matches. He can break up any potential monotony at any time. He is money walking around. It's just a matter of pointing him in the right direction and letting him go.

PAIGE

Yeah that's right. A woman. See, the thing is that women's wrestling is an afterthought. Yet, it's less of an afterthought than it was five years ago. More and more talented women are showing up and proving they deserve to be paid attention to. I have hope that in five years some girl will tell Stone Cold that her favorite match of all time was between two women, and the internet WON'T act like misogynist dickbags about it forever and ever. Don't worry though, I still love the 85% of you that applied to.

Paige is someone who can lead that charge. She's super young at 22, yet has more experience than most people on this list because her family runs a small promotion in England and she was wrestling at 13. She knows the business from a standpoint that dwarfs the rest of the people on this list. Couple that with seriously good ring skills and some solid but still improving mic work and you've got a dynamo on your hands. Paige is the kind of extremely rare wrestler who's more than just a wrestler. She's like a head coach on the field as well. She can be the Peyton Manning of women's wrestling. But with about a tenth of the forehead and 1/80th of the useless hand gestures.

That’s right, Peyton! And Papa John’s is kind of shitty, too.

She can play a variety of characters, but I would probably focus on what she is. The wunderkind superstar of the future who's kicking ass right now. Basically two parts her current goth punk smartass and one part Ronda Rousey. The best and brightest and most talented woman on the roster, who doesn't let anyone forget it. Every win over her is going to MEAN something for whoever pulls it off. She would (and can in real life) be the face of woman's wrestling that inspires girls to wrestle themselves for the next fifteen years. She would have Flair-esque accolades by the time she was done and she would be key in taking women's wrestling from where it sits today to where I think it should be. I see no reason that women can't be a much bigger focus than they are now. They're a larger part of the audience than ever and they are severely underrepresented. I can foresee about 25% of the show being dedicated to women alone, which is probably ten times where it is now. Paige would be the person I rode to get to that point.

I know what you’re thinking.

MISSED THE CUT

There were actually a lot of named that could've been on my list and its wasn't exactly easy to set in stone. Magnus, Xavier Woods, Bo Dallas, Emma, Neville, and Big E almost made the fifth spot. Two of them got as far as getting write-ups before I ultimately went with my fifth person (Which was not Paige. She's at the bottom for dramatic purposes only). All of them are super talented, and all of them give me hope for that boom that's coming. Make no mistake, there are some big futures in this list as well. I would be ecstatic to be in the shoes of the promoter who has any of them to work with.

So, there it is. My team to build my company around. My booking philosophy partially laid out. My…whatever a third thing is that's good.

Sharona?

I don't know. Lists should have at least three though so make one up yourself. I'm sure those of you who read will have your own ideas. As always, share them in the comments. I'd love to hear what others have to say on their own dream scenario. Well, this specific dream scenario at least. You can keep the others where they belong. Locked in your skulls and not out in public. Toodaloo!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-4-what-to-do-with-cesaro-owenscena/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-4-what-to-do-with-cesaro-owenscena/#comments Sat, 13 Jun 2015 09:39:05 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Other Blogs Cesaro John Cena Kevin Owens http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12365 It's Friday night (and the moon IS right). In just a few days we get Money in the Bank where a number of high profile matches will give us a lot of insight into the general path the WWE takes for the next several months. The most important of which to many people is the […]

It's Friday night (and the moon IS right). In just a few days we get Money in the Bank where a number of high profile matches will give us a lot of insight into the general path the WWE takes for the next several months. The most important of which to many people is the rematch of Kevin Owens and John Cena. This is a perfect segue into discussing what I'll be going over in this column, which is what I would do if booking it. First, though, for the undercard of the column, let's talk about Cesaro. But why, says Vince and no one else. Well, with Tyson Kidd being injured and out for several months, Cesaro's path is somewhat uncertain. So I'm going to discuss that as well because there are a LOT of intriguing possibilities.

There's the most obvious path first. He could find another partner to tag with, as he has been a very strong addition to the tag ranks, and it wasn't that long ago that pairing Kidd and Cesaro up seemed sort of random. One suggestion that I've heard and like is teaming him up with the remaining Uso brother. That would be pretty interesting, given that both are in the same boat, and both have the credentials to form a strong team that is immediately at the same level of contention that each guy was already at with his real partner. Plus you could have some interesting storylines when Kidd and the other Uso return.

This one, I think. I don’t really know if we’re being honest.

There's also the idea of teaming him up with someone else. Any number of people are just sort of floating around now and would work well with The King of Swing. An R-Truth/Cesaro team up would surely be entertaining. Him being the straight man to Truth's antics would be wonderful TV in my book and the ring work would still be excellent. If that's not your cup of tea, why not pair him with Adam Rose or Fandango. Both guys could use a boost and both could make a fun tag team with Cesaro (though I would personally prefer to see them team with each other. It's sort of a natural fit). There are other candidates, but most of them are in feuds unless you delve into NXT to pick up some talent, or pull Christian out of mothballs. And I think I speak for everyone when I say just let that guy retire and become the great color commentator we all have been waiting for.

If not teaming, what do you do with him? Do you throw him into either midcard title picture? Do you have him go to NXT for a while and feud with Joe for injuring Kidd? Do you just let him do his thing and have great matches? Well, probably not the last per se. That's not really their M.O. What would I do with him, though? Why thank you for asking, myself. That's an excellent question. Personally, I'd go back to Heyman. Lesnar is face-ish right now, so Paulie running with a face wouldn't be so bad. You let the Paulrus devote more time than you did last time and you fix what you screwed up. You let him advocate for Cesaro and let Cesaro go on a tear where he starts small and beats everyone for 3-4 weeks, which is just enough time to let most current feuds die off. Then you put him in a feud with any midcard heel champ you may have, or a solid heel in need of a foil. Then you let them have a nice old fashioned little feud, and elevate both guys in the process.

I would absolutely give Cesaro every chance to get (back) over with the crowd and show the decision makers in the back that this is a guy you can run with. Let him have glorious slobberknockers with Sheamus one week and technical marvels with Dolph the following week. I might even have him win the Money in the Bank Briefcase and then build him. While we're at it, let him talk some, while you're at it, but let Paulie do the magic he does so well. Maybe even let Nattie wrestle and give her the same treatment.

Why do you want me to manage a diva so much?

There are a number of paths you could take with Cesaro. Which one they'll take is beyond my ability to predict. For all I know he'll be in polka dots on Monday and doing a Dusty gimmick (RIP) and teaming up with Axel and Sandow. I mean, if you're going to waste two great talents, why not waste three? Anyway. That's my take on Cesaro's situation. What ideas do YOU have? Share them in the comments. Maybe they'll do what you said and you get Internet Bragging Rights, which are actually accepted as currency in both Thailand and Utica, New York.

This brings us to the big one. Owens and Cena round two. The match that every smark in the world KNOWS is going Cena's way. Just like they KNEW it was going Cena's way two weeks ago. That's why they bust out actual stats like "John Cena has only lost cleanly ten times in the last decade", as if Hogan, Rock, Austin, or Flair lost that much as faces either. Hell, I bet they all lost cleanly LESS than Cena has. Not that it stops people from complaining. Non-coincidental shout out to my buddy Chris right here.

So what would I do? Well, my plan would be two fold. The first would take place during this upcoming match. After a grueling back and forth, Cena would get the pin nice and clean in the middle of the ring. Owens would kick out right after the three count, not realizing he'd lost, and then pop up and drop Cena before pinning him for a three that the ref does not count, as the ref tries to explain to him that he'd already lost. So Owens would drop the ref, too, and then Cena once more for good measure and declare himself the winner on the mic. As a bonus, if Owens timed the kickout perfectly enough, we could have a little bit of controversy as to whether Cena even won before firmly declaring him the winner.

Then at Summerslam, after some kind of cooloff match away from one another, I'd have Owens challenge Cena to a Last Man Standing Match. We'd get nice and brutal as they went back and forth trying to get the ten count, before finally laying each other out and BOTH getting counted out. On Raw the following night Owens would declare that he was done with Cena, and had nothing left to prove. Maybe have Cena complain about it but acknowledge it. Then I'd actually NOT have them face for a while.

I don’t get it. Why aren’t you making them fight four more times in a row?

You know what you have at that point? A readymade feud that you can pick up at any time. An undiminished Cena who could move on to the next person. A Kevin Owens who is firmly cemented near the top of the card. A stronger upper midcard overall. And you'd have seeds planted for the future. The way they used to be really good at. You see, during the Attitude Era, one of the things that REALLY drove their success was that they built feuds up and let them go. You could always come back to something on almost no notice and have it be hot, because you didn't murder it into the ground to begin with. Do that again. Let Cena and Owens be the start of it. We shall see what they actually do, since they will probably not listen to my advice. Maybe if I was a Hollywood actor on the writing team.

Nope. They wouldn’t listen to me either.

Well….crap. In that case let's all get hammered and hope for the best.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-3-elimination-chamber-review/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-3-elimination-chamber-review/#comments Mon, 01 Jun 2015 10:27:31 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Reviews WWE Network Reviews Elimination Chamber http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12127 Sometimes unexpected things happen. Whether it be a job changing or getting twenty days warning that you're going to be a dad or even something a lot less terrifying than what happened to me last year, but much more mundane and unexpected. Such as finding out that you're the guy who hates Bobby Roode. I […]

Sometimes unexpected things happen. Whether it be a job changing or getting twenty days warning that you're going to be a dad or even something a lot less terrifying than what happened to me last year, but much more mundane and unexpected. Such as finding out that you're the guy who hates Bobby Roode. I have to tell you, it was quite the unexpected moment for me. Truth be told though it's just not accurate. I have no problem with Discount Triple H. I think he's a great worker, has tons of charisma, and is a good chunk of the reason why something as stupid as Beer Money succeeded. Seriously. That idea should've bombed HARD, but Roode and Storm turned it into appointment TV instead. I just don't think his path is very interesting. He's going to WWE. That's pretty much it. He's gonna go work out the last few years of his career as a midcard guy and make a ton of money to retire on. Nothing huge will come of him signing with WWE. Maybe….MAYBE a midcard title. That's about it. He'll be a late career Val Venis for them, except upgraded (which is no insult to Sean Morley, who was probably one of the best all around guys of the Attitude Era). It's just too late for Roode to really benefit other than securing a nice life after wrestling. Also possibly a job on the training staff and if they're smart, a shot at commentating. If TNA actually closes, which I'm still not really buying into. I've checked with other Adams and they don't believe it either.

All that said, it's time for me to once again bow to the masses and do what everyone else does. A show review. That's right. A top to bottom recap of Elimination Chamber, the event that just sort of came right the hell out of nowhere. Obviously, there will be spoilers. If you want to avoid them, don't read this or go to Yahoo. I know that sounds like the setup to a horrific punchline, but it's not. It actually just happened to me. How so? Well kiddies, I have a real job. So I didn't get home until after the show was over. As I type this it's currently 9:39 on the west coast, and if you must know, my wife just bluffed a guy with nothing but two high cards whilst two tabling. There's a gentleman named Wilbur who will be proud in the comments. In the meantime though, it's time for me to fire up the old moving picture machine, boot up my computer disguised as a gaming device, click on the Network button that a buddy lets me use, and get this show on the road. A quick note before I go though. I will not be recapping matches move for move. Hell, the announcers don't even do that anymore.

We will never forget you.

Instead, I'll be giving you a general sense of what I saw and thought during each match and segment. Really what I'll be doing is pausing the show to run to my computer and write stuff down, because my toddler actually controls most of the territory in the living room, so I can't do both at once. So I guess I could try to really stretch it and claim I'm getting a cardio workout as well. About ten steps at a time. I doubt my wife will buy that, but it's worth a shot.

So, we go through a nice intro package of how dangerous the chamber is and why everyone is generally fighting everyone else, and we go straight to the first match.

ELIMINATION CHAMBER: TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Nice bit of work on each team getting a little flavor in their entrance. A particular highlight is JBL commenting on Los Matadores having Torito in the chamber "You can't have your wildlife in there". Brilliant. Lots of good early work by Ascension and the Lucha Dragons both. The bit where New Day kept holding onto Callisto while in their pod was well done, and of course New Day mockingly doing the Lucha Dragon gestures was a highlight. I also thoroughly enjoyed the continued story of Callisto climbing things and JBL flipping out over it. My wife even stopped to watch some, and realized she recognized all of two people. Cesaro of course, as he's pretty distinctive. The other was Kofi. My wife's exact statement was "he's the one that does the boom thing" and she did the old Kofi air clap gesture.

We had a lot of good work, and a great highlight when four dudes suplexed the three members of New Day. I enjoyed it. My wife enjoyed it. That was just fun, period. If you didn't enjoy that a little bit, you might be watching the wrong thing on tv. The shock of the match of course was Darren Young sneaking a completely clean pin on Cesaro. I liked it. It was completely unexpected and really was a great little highlight that pushed the Pirme Time Playas, did nothing negative to Kidd and Cesaro, and allowed for a good ending where the tag champs reigned supreme. This was a very entertaining match that managed to keep coherent even with a lot of bodies in motion. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Dolph and Lana
I'm still not digging Dolph's ode to the 80's jacket. I dunno, maybe that's just me. With my luck the only people who agree with me flipped out and stopped reading at the Discount Triple H joke. Which was totally just a joke, by the way. See? This is why you keep reading. Anyway, we bring up Rusev, we transition nicely into the IC Title match setup, we pretty much cover our bases with this segment. We even had a little bit of that accent softening we heard might be happening with Lana. Whne Dolph says he's gonna go do what he does best, my wife asks what that is. "Selling his everloving ass off" is what I told her. Plus, Dolph and Lana got to build a little and have the kind of interaction they should've had before all the gratuitous smooching. Alas, only Hermoine Granger and The Doctor can change the past, and I don't think the British give a crap about Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph’s next jacket

DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH

My wife and I got lost for a bit talking about Naomi's shoes. I'm not going to lie, they were a bit distracting. We generally agreed though that this is a much harder hitting divas group than we used to see. Neither of us has really watched a divas match on the main roster in a while, and my wife really doesn't know much about NXT. It was a great perspective though, because she probably hasn't seen one in several years, so the difference between then and now was really that much more prevalent for her. It just goes to show the kind of improvements they've been trying to make. Especially when you consider that two of the three participants used to belong squarely in that camp of women who really couldn't wrestle. Yet Naomi and Nikki both more than held up their end of the match, despite one weird botch in the corner.

The crowd was more dead than they should've been though. That's bad. Even my wife decided to go to sleep, although she said it wasn't the match's fault. It was probably more that she'd been up with a toddler all day. You know. Mom style.

Quick interlude. Tell your mom thank you. She's a champion.

Anway, I put the dead crowd on the booking team. You shouldn't have put this match right after that hot tag match unless you wanted this kind of reaction, and why would you make a "piss break" match second on the card? It just doesn't make a lot of sense. Whatever the case may be, this match is another in a series of benchmarks that show that women's wrestling is on the rise, and that the main roster divas are clearly determined to not be embarrassed by their NXT counterparts. Kudos. And hey, the other Bella got paid for showing up too.

KEVIN OWENS VS JOHN CENA

After some commercials we get this match. A freaking masterpiece. Both guys worked each other and the crowd beautifully, literally from the time their music played until the bell. And if you claim you saw it coming, you're a damn liar. Unless you were on Yahoo of course (thanks a lot guys). Both men were absolutely on point, and both showed why they are considered among the best at what they do. I'll even go so far as to say that Kevin Owens is the first heel in a long while to actually make Cena feel like a face. This is so hugely important. Owens proved to the lingering doubters exactly how good he is supposed to be. He proved he belongs in the big ring, and wasn't a product of having to face midlevel talent in a small environment. And while many people don't want to admit it, there were a LOT of detractors who thought exactly that. Like this guy for example.

Handsome

Then Owens continued his pattern of stealing Cena's shtick at the end and just went that much further in cementing himself at or near the top in his very first match. Probably even made the anti-Cena fanboys feel happiness for the first time in their entire adult lives. Sadly for those people this feud isn't over, and even worse for their shattered pretend fantasies a couple of million wrestling fans and I can't wait to see what happens next in this feud. This was brilliant booking by the WWE brass and I think it's safe to say that Vince Russo and his crap about the WWE making no new stars is pretty much buried. Kudos to both men on pretty much every conceivable level. If you can't agree that Owens is a star or Cena is better than the one star match, no seller, five move idiot you claim he is, you should stop watching wrestling because you've lost your damn mind. I'm not sure you should be allowed to walk around without a diaper or operate heavy machinery.

You’re right. I’m sorry.

NEVILLE VS BO DALLAS

Angry Bo Dallas is angry. I also enjoy that IRS apparently taught his boys how to be really great at being creepy. And smiling while creepy. This was a very good filler match that showcased both guys fairly well. I also enjoyed that when Bo asked the audience to BO-lieve, a little girl could clearly be heard saying "We believe in Neville." That's beautiful, and somebody on the production team better get ahold of that audio and replay it next week. I also thoroughly enjoy that Bo sells everything with this wide eyes shocked look. It definitely makes the other guy look like he's got good stuff. Both guys should be doing something bigger than they are. If this feud continues and helps with that, I'm all for it. Let's see what happens.

Triple H, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns

Trips is casually evil. I dig it. I think it works as well or better than the over the top stuff. We also set the stage for a possible turn by Reigns with the stipulation in play. Well handled. Aquaman, I mean Reigns is just fine here, and Dean Ambrose has the best slightly crazy grin on his face when he says "me too" after Trips mockingly says "I've got a good feeling about this."

ELIMINATION CHAMBER INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH

Well, Mark Henry showing up (under 400 pounds!) is just the kind of little surprise that will help erase Rusev's injury being an issue. Kudos to that idea. I honestly figure it'd be some random midcard fill-in like Swagger or Wyatt or Axel or Swagger (c'mon, he merits two mentions as a random fill-in). I like the setup to being with, too. Ziggler/Barrett is a great way to start what should be an insane match. It also gives the two most likely winners good excuses to lose, leaving us in a position where anyone not named R-Truth could actually win this. And by the way, anyone who thinks I'm way off base on what WWE will do to Roode needs to look at Truth (both THE and R in this case). Talented in the ring, talented on the mic, capable of playing pretty much every character they put in front of him and getting over while doing it. What is he? Midcard joke. A one time US Champion. He should be the guy who has held both midcard belts half a dozen times. He's not. And they're going to transition Roode directly into that role.

Anyway…back to the match. Barrett runs the early stuff like a boss with all the taunting of everyone. We get the neat pod breaking thing with Henry, and Ziggler does that selling I predicted earlier. And they go about the eliminations in two distinct and well written ways. Dolph gets his ass kicked by everyone and the structure as well. Barrett mouths off to everyone until people gang up on him. Well executed. We do the bit with Sheamus' pod not opening, which seems to have been intended as being on purpose by Sheamus, but the commentary team totally misses it and keeps acting like its an accident. Either way, we end up with Sheamus beating the crap out of Ryback until it's time for the comeback. Ryback gets the win and we get Bryan out for the big put over. The crowd buys it, Ryback holds his own, and all seems well. Crowd was a tad dead in my view, but there was a TON going on in the match to be fair. Either way, good on Ryback. Plus BOTH members of the Danielson household got money tonight for doing pretty much nothing.

No word on whether these were for free.

It’s Filler Time

Money in the Bank is in two weeks. Paul Heyman and Stone Cold are in the same room. And something my wife said earlier before she went to bed strikes me. They really are making an effort to make every shows seem big somehow. That's certainly a welcome change, and methinks the Network and its early struggles might have a bit to do with that. As we replay Owens beating Cena, I'm obliged to think good thoughts for the future. And now we get the first hard sell for Money in the Bank. I'm not a huge fan to be honest. I don't think you give away the rematch of Cena/Owens during the show where the first match happened. I don't think you announce the ladder match participants like this. I think you're supposed to use the next several Raws to build that. Make guys fight their way in. Create a sense of something. Instead we get a lineup that means everyone will automatically assume Reigns is winning the briefcase. I think this is the first major set of missteps tonight.

On the other hand, we seem to finally be building Ambrose with some sense of understanding the character. It's not just the lunatic actions. It's the little things like apologizing to the camera man who was innocent or wearing the cop hat slightly askew when he returns to the arena after the arrest. It's him focused on the fight. Personally, I told somebody that this was the perfect time to do some kind of shenanigan where Ambrose won the belt and then got it taken away. Maybe make the ref go down and have Kane count the pin, only to have it invalidated tomorrow night. Test the waters in a way that hasn't been done for a little while and see what happens. I doubt they'd do it, but after the show we've had I guess most things are possible.

WWE TITLE MATCH

I hate champions entering first. It is dumb. Stop it. Just….stop it. I also hate Ambrose's flippy rope thing. I despise it with the fire a thousand suns. The match itself was not as good as I would've hoped. I was confused by the number of repeated spots, too. Yes a few helped tell a story, but some were just repeated for seemingly no reason. I am thoroughly confused by this as both guys are a lot better than that. Either way, they DID do a lot of little things right, like trying to fight each other's holds and countering things each guy would know about the other. That was all well and good. Maybe expectation got the better of me. I just felt like this should be better than the third best match of the night.

Then the worst thing possible happened. My earlier prediction came true (if not 100% how I envisioned it). Everyone knows you're not allowed to predict things correctly on the internet. It's against the rules. I almost went back and edited out what I said, but ultimately decided against it. Instead I'll simply be happy that they're going to give Ambrose a little fake 24 hour title run that gives the brass a chance to see how the crowd reacts. So far so good by the way. That's a really good sign and honestly I didn't actually think they would, I just thought they should. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out tomorrow for sure. I'd also love a story where Ambrose keeps the title despite multiple attempts to retake it by Rollins and company. Hell, ultimate payoff for me would be tomorrow night as they're doing everything in their power to get the belt away from him, Vince shows up and overturns the decision and makes him champ. The crowd would go nuts for that in my opinion.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Just a rapid fire list style here of some extraneous thoughts I had while watching the show. Possibly a joke or two. Who knows.

-I hated people breaking up pins in the chamber matches. Stop that. It's bad psychology.
-I look forward to everyone preemptively crapping on the Cena/Owens rematch due to Cena's obvious win. The same one that was obvious tonight. Not that logic has ever stopped those people.
-Lawler needs to go. He really didn't add anything for me and I felt it would've been better with just JBL and Cole, who have both been on form lately. I did enjoy them not letting him live down the JR thing though.
-As always, New Day rocks. The power of positivity will move you.
-I hope Ziggler gets his due because he put on a clinic of how to get your ass kicked tonight.
-By the same token, Barrett made me believe he could be the WWE Champion with the way he so completely owned his time in the chamber match.
-Davenport, Iowa isn't just the hometown of Seth Rollins. It's also part of the Quad Cities (actually five cities) that straddle the Mississippi River between Illinoi and Iowa. John Deere is headquartered there. One of the biggest MMA camps is there so you get a lot of those guys listed from there, too. Also, it's a depressing shithole. Yeah…didn't see THAT coming did you? Totally true though. Just thought you should know.
-Way more positive than negative tonight. That's a good thing. WWE needs to keep doing that and keep making good decisions and pulling off surprises like tonight. Maybe if the internet negativity squad can dial it back and show some support for the things they actually liked, we might get more of it. Just saying.

Well, it's near 3am (and I must be lonely). I'm going to add some funny pictures and then finish this bad boy up so that you, my dear 4 readers can soak it in and then call me a liar who only wrote the Ambrose title thing after I watched it. Those are also the rules of the internet and we must respect rules or else we'll have a bunch of lunatics running the place. Well…maybe that's not so bad actually.

This guy gets it.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-2-who-goes-where-after-tna/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-2-who-goes-where-after-tna/#comments Sun, 24 May 2015 09:09:39 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Kurt Angle TNA WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=11926 Two columns in less than a week? I know. Don't get used to it. This is not going to be a common occurrence. The boss' heart couldn't take it if it were. However, when a topic gets my attention and makes me want to add in my opinion I'm not going to let any kind […]

Two columns in less than a week? I know. Don't get used to it. This is not going to be a common occurrence. The boss' heart couldn't take it if it were. However, when a topic gets my attention and makes me want to add in my opinion I'm not going to let any kind of calendar issues stand in my way. I owe it to myself and to you, my loyal four readers. Also, I get a free snow cone for every ten columns I write, so I need to crank these bad boys out. What topic caught my eye? Why it was good old TNA, for the first time in years.

You see, the big scuttlebutt is that TNA is going to be cancelled at Destination America, and will thus cease to exist. Now, there are several issues with this chain reaction up to and including whether or not the cancellation is real in the first place or just another Meltzer claim that we'll never hear about again. Like the time he predicted that CM Punk either would or would not be on Raw. Let's ignore that for a moment and pretend everything is going as planned and the wrestling fandom of the world can finally rejoice that TNA has died the death that they have predicted seventeen times a year for over a decade.

The big question left in that fantasy make believe world is what happens to the various roster members. I mean, I'm sure someone is going to buy the ring, but do we really care about that? No. So let's focus here. It is a question that every two bit hack in the community has taken a swing at, and I am nothing if not proud of both of my bits. So I will dedicate this, my second column to being every bit as facetious and reactionary as everyone else. It's in the contract, after all.

Wait. Why are the words Billy Gunn and jello wrestling written in pencil on page 3?

First, I have to admit something. I haven't kept up with TNA regularly since the Main Event Mafia days. I know I'm far from alone in this but still, I felt you should know because we've grown closer over these past one and up to this point columns. I know who the majority of the people on the roster are. I know vaguely what's going on. That's about it, though. TNA has not been appointment television since…a while. Sorry, I have no witty comparison point there. Perhaps some witty comment about the other kind of t'n'a, since I did get married in '08 and that seems like more or less the right time frame for this joke.

So, now I'm going to try to look deep into my crystal ball, which is actually most likely some sort of toy that belongs to my toddler. No matter. I will help you through these confusing waters and see if I can figure out who might go to the WWE, and who might go elsewhere. I'm also going to ignore most of the people I don't really know because it's my column and…I don't actually need another reason. You're not my real dad. Here goes.

WWE BOUND

Kurt Angle- Well, HE'S sure not going to GFW. I think we can all pretty much agree on that one right here and now. Recently, he talked about WWE and it seemed like he hit a brick wall there, too. Basically, he values Kurt Angle more than they value Kurt Angle. He's one of the more intriguing situations because despite being the biggest name, he seems to have the toughest road to go to one of the big choices. Sure, there is some possibility the WWE will bring him in as a part time guy. Unless he agrees to be there in a non-wrestling capacity though, I can't see them committing to him full time. I also can't see him going overseas. The guy has three kids and an expensive head waxing lifestyle. So that pretty much leaves one likely destination in my mind, and yes it is in America (for those who were expecting the awful pun). ROH. Possibly some other indy work if they can afford him. A couple of the bigger NWA promotions spring to mind on that front. That strikes me as the most clear cut of a set of murky choices for Angle on day one. Is a WWE contract in his future? Maybe, sorta, probably, definitely. Like Herpes in LA, eventually he and WWE will come together. Immediately, though? I doubt it.

Awesome Kong- Here's a home run. Kong is going to WWE via NXT. She makes so much sense there, with the renewed focus on the divas, as well as her incredibly unique stature for a woman's wrestler. What I mean by that is that she's basically the Big Van Vader of women. She legitimately looks like she could destroy the rest of the competition at pretty much any moment. In her personal life, she digs rainbows and butterflies and such too, which I absolutely think is…wait for it….awesome. It totally throws people off. She is a very solid worker and for a promoter, is basically money on the table if used right. Now, the other side of the argument is that she and WWE parted ways not that long ago. Well, everything I've ever seen says it was amicable, so there is virtually no obstacle I know of to stop her from returning to WWE, possibly with her name intact this time. Just imagine if you will, Awesome Kong managed by say…Paul Heyman.

Yeah, pretty much this.

I know Triple H knows it, too. So if the opportunity comes up, expect Kong to be in WWE torturing other divas and being heavily featured in every single ant-bullying campaign ppossible.

Kenny King- This is another guy that should roll right into NXT. He's gifted in the ring and he has a solid look as well. He's not a stranger in Stamford either, having competed on Tough Enough. He's gotten a lot better since then and I bet you they're fully aware of it. He is definitely one of the first people they'll bring on. It won't be long before he's making that sweet, sweet midcard money and disappointing a small subset of people who keep insisting he could be higher on the card than beating Curtis Axel and jobbing to Dolph Ziggler.

Gail Kim- Here's an interesting one. See, everyone saw the tweet the other day where she called Vince sexist. They also missed the part where she praised Hunter, though. As in, the guy who does the hiring. That said, there's also one other fact. She is one of the best female wrestlers in the world. One of the more marketable ones as well, complete with genuine semi-celebrity husband Robert Irvine. She'd be a shoo-in for any number of roles, including an almost obvious spot on Total Divas. Whatever mild embarrassment Vince might have suffered will be quickly swept under the rug. It's a big rug and there is a lot of room under there.

GFW BOUND

Mr. Anderson- He's got some bad blood in the WWE locker room, namely with Randy Orton. So I'd expect him to be among the first that Jarrett gets in contact with. He still has some gas in the tank as well as a recognizable name that will be very helpful to an organization that is lacking in relatively big time recognizable names. In a vacuum, he qualifies and Jarrett will use him to help launch his new company in the same way he used the likes of Scott Hall and Ken Shamrock back when TNA first started. Then Anderson can fade back into the hallowed halls of what might have been.

Drew Galloway and Taryn Terrell- This one seems fairly obvious. A young, talented guy that WWE missed the boat on. Actually, they missed the boat, then sank the boat after the boat got over without their help. This metaphor needs work. It's also totally accurate. Galloway is a guy who can greatly benefit from answering Jarrett's call and almost certainly will. Expect his wife as a package deal alongside and/or as the driving force behind the decision, sicne she has an even worse feeling about WWE. For those who don’t know, after she was let go she claimed that she took a story to creative, was let go, and then saw her story given to someone else.

The Beautiful People- I'm going to go ahead and include both Angelina Love and Velvet Sky together because it's the team that gives them their value. That value won't really be as high in WWE, especially with the plethora of already over women there (and the ones I added). No, these two ladies are going to make the smart choice for them, and sign on with the guy who was responsible for their success in the first place (or at least in charge when it happened). One could make a snarky comment about how WWE would also be a problem since ACTUAL beautiful women work there, but they are both a lot prettier than me, so who am I to throw stones?

PEOPLE I'M NOT SURE ABOUT

Ethan Carter III- One of the better parts of TNA for a while now, and one of the few I'm really aware of. Even my trusty squeaky ball ….err…crystal ball fails me on this one. It could really go either way. On one hand, he was in WWE for a while and they did virtually nothing with him despite having lots of chances. On the other hand, he's clearly way better than he was then at pretty much everything one is capable of being better at. That's where it gets interesting. If he holds a grudge about his time in WWE and Jarrett gets in his ear, he could find a place in GFW and probably be a centerpiece guy going forward. He is an NXT vet already so the allure wouldn't necessarily be there for him. On the other hand though, money talks and power gives interpretive dances and he could be swayed into thinking he'd get a better shot this time. It's entirely possible that WWE could go for the hard sell for a guy who has really blossomed. It's too tough for me to guess.

Magnus- Another wildcard. He's got size. He's got talent. He's got a foreign market in his back pocket. He's not even 30. Just look at the star quality.

Wait, that’s not even the right guy.

Nope, that’s not it either.

There’s our star.

He is a big time potential steal for whoever ends up with him. This is a guy who should be pursued heavily and I honestly don't know which way he'll go. That is IF the WWE actually pursues him at a high level. If they don't, he'll just sign elsewhere, whether that be GFW or someplace at home in England or even ROH. Truthfully, he's on this part of the list because I'm not sure that they WILL pursue him. Let's face history kids. He's not a guy they made, and unlike the Joes and Bryans of the world, his name isn't quite big enough to overcome that bias. New thinking COULD overcome that, but there are no guarentees. So I'm genuinely not sure what WWE will do.

Well, there we go. A completely arbitrary list written by a virtually unknown guy based on a questionable scenario brought on by unconfirmed rumors given by a man whose reliability is shaky at best. So, you know, clearly gold standard stuff. None of it may ever come to pass. A million other things could and probably will happen. On the other hand, I DID get to use the word scuttlebutt, so that's a win all on its own. So, your turn, dear few, proud readers. If this all comes to pass as we've been told, who do YOU think ends up where? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try to ask my wife if this squeaky ball toy actually belongs to my daughter or one of our cats because at this point I've given up trying to figure that out on my own.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-1-payback-new-day-and-thinking-positive/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/adam-thinks-1-payback-new-day-and-thinking-positive/#comments Wed, 20 May 2015 05:56:56 +0000 AdamCSpencer Blogs Reviews New Day Payback WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=11840 Hello world. You don't really know me. You don't even think you know me (ha!). Let's change that. I'm a very long time wrestling fan that tends to appreciate the art for what it is. An art. Entertainment. An escape from the crushingly depressing real world of people NOT wearing tights and pretending to fight. […]

Hello world. You don't really know me. You don't even think you know me (ha!). Let's change that. I'm a very long time wrestling fan that tends to appreciate the art for what it is. An art. Entertainment. An escape from the crushingly depressing real world of people NOT wearing tights and pretending to fight.

So with that in mind I tend to do what only eleven people in the history of the internet have ever done. I try to look on the positive side of things. I know it's not always easy in this art form we love. A lot of stupid stuff is out there. In WWE alone (where my primary focus will be), there is currently at least a dozen really depressing things. Some of which aren't even the audience.

I'm not here for that, though. I'm here for the good stuff. I'm here to share things with you that I enjoy. Maybe I'll even take to defending some otherwise not fondly thought of things, people, or ideas. I don't know. I'm not going to make up a bunch of predetermined ideas or categories to make up what my mostly regular column will be. I mean, I might make them up, but just because "Best Dressed Referee" tickles my fancy one week, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll see it next week, month, or ever again. Really what I'm going to do is what entertains me, while I discuss what entertained me. Hopefully this will also entertain you. Russell Crowe approves of this paragraph.

I ALSO ENJOY PUNCHING PEOPLE!

In the meantime, yes, my personal opinions will pop up a lot. Such as the fact that Cena can be both better than you pretend in pretty much every single way, and also still not be as good as a guy like Bryan in the ring. Or the fact that Cena is really only hated because your girlfriend cheered him and the rest was a justification after the fact. And non-Cena based opinions as well.
So, other than inadvertently pissing off the majority of the four people who decided to read this (3.28 of them to be exact), I'd like to use this column to give you a general sense of what it is I'll write about. Which is mostly that there will not be a set format. Set formats bore me. Just like they bore most people eventually. I love to just let it fly and ride the lightning of chaos. Which kind of sounds like a bad sic fi fantasy series. So basically what you should expect is the unexpected. And jokes. A good many of which will be awful, because that's just how I roll.

So enough of all that intro crap. Let's talk wrestling. After all, if you're going to commit to a relationship with me, instead of just a one column stand, it's going to be because I can put some actual meat down in between terrible puns and random observations. And there will be sooooooooooooooo many terrible puns, you guys. Let's talk Payback as we try to forget that Mel Gibson movie together.

Right away I want to hit on one of the hot button issues that seems to have arisen from Payback. The switcheroo pin by Xavier Woods, and the unintended Consequences (I warned you) of his involvement in the match. Apparently, people got the impression that it was sort of racist. One black guy switches for another black guy and the ref doesn't notice. Could the WWE be more racist? It's so obvious, right? Well, I've heard this negative talk about it swirling around the net and it kind of bugs me. I feel like a couple of things are being very heavily insulted with this sort of talk.

Let's talk about the switcheroo itself first. It was one of the best I've ever seen. If you haven't (or if you have for that matter) let me replay it for you. Kofi hits Cesaro with the classic neck snap over the top rope and falls back. The ref is turned away. Cesaro drops to the mat. Woods drops his vest and then sneaks in for the pin. He angles himself so that only his backside can be seen by the ref. From the ref's POV, all he sees is tights and hair. Guess what? That night, Kofi and Xavier's hair and tights were almost identical. The ref counts the pin and stands, facing partially away. Woods rolls out of the ring to the ramp side, where Kofi is sitting up. Woods stays low, moves to the other side of the ring, puts his vest back on and stands up like he never left. The only thing the ref sees when turning back to the correct side is Kofi sitting on the ramp.

Go watch it, or watch it again. Woods and the ref do AMAZING work in making it so that you can conceivably see this happening. Their timing and angles were damn near perfect. This was a classic finish done with almost pinpoint perfect execution. Yet because the participant was black, it gets the racist accusation levelled at it. This brings me to point number two. There have been less believable switcheroos than this. The Bellas for example make no sense pulling this off every time they've done it post boob job. The entire Bashams run should count as well, since those two didn't even really look alike. There have been others too, but you get the idea. What Woods pulled was a lot more realistic than some. Yet, we get cries of racism.

I feel like this does a great disservice to some very fine work put in on an important moment that ended a match that made all five participants look really good (minus Cesaro botching his own finisher or forgetting to sell injury halfway through the match, which we will never speak of again because it is against the rules of the internet to point out non-Cena based flaws). A great match and a great finish are being mired because people had a knee jerk reaction and put no real thought into it. Plus, the tendency towards a negative reaction probably played a big part.

Well, we mostly try to stick to the positive here, which New Day would approve of. So I urge you to rethink your initial reactions and really put some effort into it to see the brilliant work that was done. Then again, that's kind of par for the course with the wrestling fandom and The New Day.

Now, on a more general side about Payback AND to break out a snazzy category that you may never see again, I want to share five other things I really liked.

FIVE THINGS I LIKED
Payback Edition

Okay, now I’m just imagining this movie starring Scott Hall.

Number One : I was personally kind of amused by what seemed to be "Different Classic Heel Finishes: The PPV". There was so much to choose from, and not always done by the heels. We had the "injure a guy and win because of it" heel win. We had the "just walk away" heel win. We even had the "get someone else to quit for you" heel win. We had the aforementioned "switcheroo" win. I thoroughly enjoyed the classic sense of the booking there and unlike some others, it didn't bring down my level of enjoyment to be stuck watching a "filler" show.

Number Two : Ryback vs Bray Wyatt. I know some people have expressed that number two would be a proper designation for the match, but those guys brought it at a level that surprised me. They told a really god story, they worked hard, and they both tried to do unusual things that set the match apart. I respect and appreciate that. Ryback went to the top rope, peeps. Respect that if nothing else (well, that and your elders). For once…I mean….and the commentary helped out, too. The three guys in the booth were pretty well on point during the match, and even corrected their attempt to turn the finish into a "lucky break" by admitting they were wrong and pointing out Wyatt doing it on purpose.

Number Three : Everything New Day. The overall match was great even before the finish, which I went over above. The promo a bit later in the show was also a thing of beauty. Milk in champagne glasses. Pinkies touching. Claims of clean living and positivity followed almost instantly by swearing and whining. Byron Scott jacking the catchphrase. It was all great, and respect needs to be given to three guys who are busting their butts to work a gimmick that the fanbase tried to kill before it ever got started. New Day does indeed Rock ladies and gentlemen.

Yes! One guy on the internet likes us!

Number Four : Rusev vs Cena. I know, I know. This is the internet, where every column is going to remind you that Cena won, and none of them will point out that he never actually went over Rusev. Rusev took all of Cena's best shots and kept coming to deliver his own. There was no indication that he was going to quit whatsoever. This idea that he's suppose dot be diminished by a loss in his column is kind of ridiculous because he never physically lost. He went even with Cena in what is widely regarded (in universe and out) as Cena's signature match. They even mentioned it in commentary quite a bit, with JBL selling HARD that Cena was basically unstoppable. They gave Rusev as big a bump as you can give a guy, with as big an out as you can give someone for not winning. They literally gave him a classic face loss by having Lana quit on his behalf. Now, other booking may not be up to par, and he may not get that next win over Cena (even though he should). But here and now, you need to look at what Rusev DID gain out of it. Which is a break even showing against a guy who's never lost that type of match.

Number Five : Kane and Rollins. I know not everyone enjoys them, but I do. They're like a bitter old married couple and every interaction they have makes me laugh. Kind of like Kane did when J and J tried to stand up at him in the promo early on. Glen Jacobs has this intense charisma that manages to make you really feel like he's struggling between wanting to be a good boss and wanting to strangle Rollins with some rope (or the swanky ties on J and J). Rollins is every bit the tiny little dickhead whiner brat. These guys play it brilliantly and consistently. They're always a treat for me and Payback was no exception.

So, that's my first column. Hopefully you enjoyed some or all of it. Hopefully it made you think. Hopefully it made you laugh. Feel free to let me know in the comments below. If you don't, I'll just humbly assume you are busy weeping form the sheer joy at having read such wonderful and awe inspiring work. Or that you're out in the world giving Bullhammers to random jerks and telling them to stay positive. I'd kind of approve of that more than I should legally admit to. Via con dios, whatever that actually means, and I'll see you later. Maybe I'll even develop a fancy schmancy signoff or something.