In October of 2006, my wrestling trainer, JT Lightning, informed my class that he had booked former WWE Superstar and one legged wrestler Zach Gowen for the next Cleveland All Pro Wrestling event. I was elated. Gowen had been my biggest inspiration for becoming a wrestler, and I was going to be able to share the locker room with him not just as a fan, but as his peer. I would get to stand in my wrestling gear, right along with Zach, and tell him that he was the reason that I had become a pro wrestler.
JT Lightning
With that said, you can imagine the heartbreak I felt when JT told me that I was not going to be put in a match on the October show. I had my first match that year in July, and he had used me on every show since. I didn’t understand the reasoning. I questioned JT as to why I couldn’t wrestle. He told me he had nothing for me, because I had a bad attitude.
He was right. IВ didВ have a bad attitude. I talked trash to other students. I got cocky in training despite the fact that I wasn’t very good at that point. The fact was that my self esteem was so low, I felt that if I presented myself as overconfident, no one pick on me for my shortcomings, mainly my disability. I was right. No one picked on me– but no one particularly liked me either.
Telling me I had a bad attitude should have been enough for me to leave JT alone. I couldn’t stop pestering him for a match– any match. I didn’t care. I promised him I would start acting more professional, a promise that after a talk with veteran wrestler Josh Prohibition, I was really trying hard to keep. He got real pissed off at me, and told me if I kept bothering him, I’d never be on another show again.
That was enough to shut me up. I had to deal with the punishment. There wasn’t much else I could do, afterall. The only thing I could do was tell JT the reason why I wanted booked on the show so bad. However, I figured he would just think I was lame if i told him i wanted to try to wow Zach Gowen by talking to him in my wrestling outfit, and telling him how much he impacted my life.
The day finally came, October 6th, 2006. I showed up for ring crew that day, still saddened that I wasn’t going to get wrestle. All the other students talked about guys on the show they wanted to see and talk to, and there were a lot of great guys on the show. Cladio Castagnoli. Samoa Joe. Bryan Danielson. Those names were cool, but there was no one I cared about meeting more than Zach Gowen.
I just wanted to pickВ his brain. I wanted to know what one needs to do to be successful while wrestling with a disability. I knew there was no better person to ask than him, and I looked at the opportunity as my one shot. Who knew if I would ever get to meet him again.
I walked up to Zach as soon as I saw him arrive. I stuck out my good left hand and said, “Hi, Zach. I’m Gregory Iron. I’m a wrestler.” He smiled and shook my hand back. To be fair, it seems like a fairly awkward introduction in retrospect. Zach continued shaking other wrestlers hands. I watched him walk down into the basement of Turner’s Hall, the venue where the show was happening that night. I waited a few minutes, and proceeded to go into the basement.
I walked around and stared awakwardly at Zach for what seemed like an eternity. When I saw a long enough pause during an interaction between him and another wrestler, I interjected. Shyly I said, “Um, Zach, when you have time, I was wondering if you could give me some advice.”
“Yea, sure,” he replied. “Later, okay?”
“Y-yea,” I responded nervously. “That’s fine.”
I waited until he got dressed after his match, and tried to pull him aside. “Zach? I was wondering if I could get some advice?”
“Oh, sure.” He walked behind me, using his cane to assist him, and I took him to a corner of the basement, away from the other wrestlers. I leaned up against the wall, and told him that I had cerebral palsy. I remember him staring past me the whole time I talked, as if he wasn’t listening. The conversation was already nerve wracking, and this didn’t make it easier. After sharing my story, I asked him how to be successful as a wrestler with a disability.
He looked me in the eyes for the first time and asked me, “What do you do now?”
I hesitated, before replying with, “Um.. well I train here at school. I lift weights. I’m trying to diet and stuff.”
He was staring past me once again. “Yea, um, all that sounds good,” Zach said. “Keep doing that.”
I stared past him, just as he was doing to me. It wasn’t because I wasn’t listening. I heard what he instructed me to do. I heard the awkward silence that followed. I guess I was just waiting for– something more.
I asked if their was a specific way to wrestle with a disability. He shook his head no and replied, В “Nah, however you wrestle, wrestle.”
“So.. Th– that’s it?”
“Um, yep!” Zach replied, and tapped me on the shoulder. He turned away and began to limp off. I thanked him and as he was leaving I mustered the courage to say, “You were awesome in the WWE.” He turned and said, “Cool. Good luck to you.”
I began to walk up the stairs, and I turned back to look at Zach. I saw him sitting in a chair, staring at the wall– past the wall– just as he stared passed me. I was disappointed. I had met the guy I looked up to, and it seemeed like he couldn’t have cared less about me.
Having a drug addicted mother, I just wish I would have understood what Zach was really going through..
Part Three of The Handicapped Heroes orgin… next week!
-Greg
