Educated Guess:
Wrestlemania 31
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
The Road to Wrestlemania has been littered with potholes and unexpected detours, but we've finally arrived at the "Showcase of the Immortals" in Santa Clara, California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, and you've probably seen my name around the internet whether it's here at Cheap-Heat, over at DailyWrestlingNews.com, or on my own podcast "The B+ Players." Unlike the majority of my contemporaries and colleagues, I'm NOT completely underwhelmed by the potential of Wrestlemania and think it might even be a pretty damn good show. I'm here with you today to provide my predictions—no, that's not right. Let's instead call this article an "Educated Guess."
WWE Tag Team Championship
Kidd & Cesaro (c) vs. Los Matadores vs. The Usos vs. The New Day
The first match announced for the preshow—which is a wild concept to begin with—is the four-corners tag team contest for the WWE tag team championship. Four-corners tag matches have become something of a staple at Wrestlemania throughout the years; it would seem almost wasteful to provide the audience with a standard two-on-two tag match, right? That's sarcasm, you just can't tell because you're reading my words and not listening to my voice—which you can do each week via my podcast, "The B+ Players." This match seems pretty simple and my first educated guess will be that Kidd and Cesaro retain their titles. The New Day and Los Matadores are not on the same level as the "Masters of the WWE Universe" and the former tag champs, the Usos. I don't think we'll see the Usos win the belts however, as they JUST dropped the titles to Kidd and Cesaro and might be taking a break from tag team competition to heal nagging injuries. I'm confident that Kidd and Cesaro will remain the tag team champions when Wrestlemania is over. Or since they're on the preshow—when it begins.
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This will be the second match on the Wrestlemania preshow—which for the record, makes no sense to me. I'm not debating whether or not the "Geek Battle Royal" belongs on the main show, I'm more so wondering why there's such a divide between the preshow and the actual Wrestlemania card. I'm one of the conspiracy theorists who has a feeling we'll be seeing the "Celtic Warrior" return during this match, and if he does, I'm 100% sure Sheamus will win. As far as other contenders, you've got Ryback and Mizdow, who possess the greatest chance of winning as far as I can tell. There's also been rumors that someone as obscure as GOLDUST might outlast his opponents to take home the trophy. That specific scenario would be incredibly awesome, especially for someone as dedicated and determined as Dustin Rhodes. However my prediction remains the same—Sheamus will be back and he will win the "Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal."
WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match
Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. R Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose
This program has been damn-near unwatchable. R Truth—the only black guy—steals the belt. Okay. And then Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose call Daniel Bryan a turd. Okay. Wade Barrett is the intercontinental champion, however he's been without his belt for over a month. Not okay! I'm a huge IC title fan and would like nothing more than for Daniel Bryan to win the championship and return it to its previous Steamboat-level of prestige. But I don't think that's going to happen. I think the smart money is on Dean Ambrose becoming the new champion, or even Wade Barrett retaining on a night that could very well see a new world champion, as well as a new United States champion. I'm not very high on Dean Ambrose. I think he's entirely overrated and the only move he has is that weird fake-out where he almost falls between the top and middle rope. But my prediction—or my educated guess rather—remains the same. I think Dean Ambrose will win the title and feud with Seth Rollins for a few months until Rollins is strong enough to take on the world champion. I do however think Daniel Bryan will win the intercontinental championship in the near future, as he is the only Superstar I see capable of bringing it back to its past glory.
Nikki & Brie Bella vs. Paige & AJ Lee
When I started reading hashtags followed by the words "Give Divas a Chance," I figured we might get a meaningful title match at �Mania. But that is not the case as this weekend we'll get the Bellas in action against the "Frienemies," Paiges and AJ Lee. I'm not going to bury AJ in this column—I've spent enough time doing that over the past several months—but I do wish Paige had another partner. This match seems to be a "changing of the guard" between the supermodel Divas of yesteryear and the new breed of
WRESTLERS
coming out of developmental. This match is among the hardest to predict in my opinion for a variety of reasons, not the least of which being the location of the WWE Diva's title belt. Is the champion, Nikki Bella, really going to lose at Wrestlemania in a non-title match? Against CM Punk's wife? Despite the political ramifications and backstage nuances of this program, I'm going to have to give my educated guess to the babyface duo of Paige and AJ.
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton
It seemed sort of silly that the WWE held off on Orton's return—and it seemed completely crazy when they didn't immediately turn him against Seth Rollins. The storyline heading into this match is far more confusing than trying to predict the outcome. I think it's fairly easy to see a Seth Rollins victory on the horizon, as the "Viper"—a 12-time world champion—doesn't really need the rub. Rollins however, is in possession of the Money in the Bank briefcase, which could always play into the main event title picture later in the evening. My educated guesses are as follows: if Seth Rollins wins this match, we'll have seen the last of him on the card, save for a backstage promo down the line. But if Randy Orton emerges from this match with his hand raised by the referee, it's not outside the realm of possibilities to predict a Money in the Bank-cash in. When Hogan lost his tag match at �Mania 9, he won the belt from Yokozuna following the main event. The next year Bret lost to Owen in the curtain jerker, only to leave Madison Square Garden with the world title. Do I think Seth Rollins is going to cash in? Probably not—but "anything can happen in the WWE."
WWE United States Championship
Rusev (c) vs. John Cena
This is the match I'm most looking forward to, regardless of how predictable the outcome might appear on paper. "The Bulgarian Brute" Rusev has been in possession of the WWE United States Championship for several months, following an undefeated year on the main roster. Who better to defend the sanctity of the red, white, and blue than the Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena? This has the makings of a modern day Iron Sheik-Hulk Hogan fiasco. Or a modern day Sgt. Slaughter-Hulk Hogan debacle. Or a—you get the point. The WWE has always had a habit of cashing in on the unwavering patriotism of its American audiences and this year's �Mania will be a throwback of "Rocky-proportions." Say what you will about John Cena, but he's a talented enough hand that does a phenomenal job of making his opponents look strong. Matched against the powerful Rusev, this bout has the potential to steal the show. My educated guess is that John Cena becomes your new U.S. champion, although I'd love to see Rusev retain.
The Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray Wyatt has done a phenomenal job of keeping this program alive despite being the only person involved with it. I'm not one of those anti-Undertaker-types—I'm looking at you Gary Mastriano of Cheap-Heat and the "B+ Players." I actually think his feud with Bray Wyatt makes plenty of sense, but might it have been better at Wrestlemania 30? "The Dead Man's" streak would still be intact, while the "Eater of Worlds" would be spared a losing effort against John Cena. This match makes sense if the Undertaker is going to retire next year in Arlington, Texas, otherwise I'd prefer to see him with someone more substantial than Bray Wyatt. My educated guess is that the Undertaker wins his penultimate match in the WWE, and retires next year following a massive �Mania moment with Sting. Both men can retire in their home state after a combined 60+ years in the business, and accept their rightful spots in the WWE Hall of Fame.
Triple H vs. Sting
The rivalry between Triple H and Sting centers on Sting's role as the "Franchise of WCW"—a company that closed more than fourteen years ago. In addition—Sting made his debut for the WWE during the Survivor Series, when he cost the "Game" his controlling stake in the company. Since then �H has returned to power and not much has been mentioned regarding the "Vigilante's" role in helping Dolph Ziggler defeat the "Authority." I'm very much looking forward to seeing Sting wrestle in a WWE ring; hearing his name announced—during what is sure to be an elaborate entrance—is almost worth the highly affordable $9.99 that most people are paying for this show. I'm probably a bit more optimistic about what might happen from bell to bell than the average internet wrestling fan. I don't choose to hate on Triple H just because he's positioned himself strategically in a company that he has control over—everybody did that. Dusty Rhodes did that. Verne Gagne did that. So enough bullshit about how Triple H isn't a main event talent. I think Sting versus the Undertaker would have been a miserable match and suggest Triple H is the ONLY viable opponent for Sting at �Mania. Why? Sting most certainly needs to wrestle someone who was around during the Attitude Era, which leaves Triple H, Kane, Mark Henry, JBL, and the Undertaker. Once again—Triple H is the ONLY viable opponent for Sting at �Mania. My educated guess would be that Sting walks away with his hand held high, and begins a year-long build to Wrestlemania 32 starting the following night on Raw against the Undertaker.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns
Brock Lesnar just re-signed with World Wrestling Entertainment so it's safe to assume the unstoppable "Beast" might just mow-over the challenging Reigns in another dominant showing from the most aggressive world champion in the history of the WWE. My co-host at "The B+ Players"—Matt Sloyan—suggests that Lesnar's decision to stay has done nothing to alter the original plans in place for the main event. But what does that mean exactly? Is Reigns going to be the Superstar to lead the WWE Universe into the next era, or was Brock always the guy pegged for victory at �Mania 31? Even if Lesnar opted out of his current wrestling role in favor of returning to mixed martial arts, there's room to argue Reigns would still lose on the "Grandest Stage of Them All." Lesnar could always drop the title on Raw the next night—or even after his title defense at �Mania. Seth Rollins is the wild card in this heated game of poker wherein he provides a specific level of uncertainty; will Seth cash in on Brock or Roman after the bell rings tomorrow night? Or is Mr. Money in the Bank biding his time in hopes of striking when it's least expected? While I fear we're on the precipice of the "Roman Empire," I still hold out hope that Brock Lesnar retains his championship at Wrestlemania. I do not think Seth Rollins is going to cash in, as something like that has the potential to hurt the legacy of Wrestlemania going forward. My official educated guess is that Brock Lesnar will retain his title and continue his reign—no pun intended—for another year, until potentially dropping it at Wrestlemania 32.
I wasn't keen on the build to last year's show in New Orleans, but Wrestlemania XXX turned out to be one of the most popular events in �Mania history. It's hard to judge any wrestling event until after the dust has settled, so until next week's REVIEW of Wrestlemania 31, I will remain patiently optimistic. I hope everyone has a chance to check out Cheap-Heat and our continuing coverage of Wrestlemania 31, and make sure to be on the look-out for our post-�Mania reaction show on "The B+ Players."
