It’s been more than a month since the WWE Network has featured a Sunday night live event, but the wait is over because tonight is BATTLEGROUND! As of this writing—3:30 AM EST—there are only SIX matches announced for the card. The Miz and Big Show might still go head-to-head, but without the Intercontinental title on the line, as Ryback is temporarily sidelined with an injury. There’ve also been rumblings about a possible Divas match—with Sasha Banks and Charlotte headed to St. Louis, we could very well see them inside the Scottrade Center. Enough about the matches we might see and let’s focus on what’s been announced. My name is Mark Haggerty, and when everybody else is offering up picks or predictions, I’m delivering my “Educated Guess.”
WWE King of the RingВ
King Barrett (K) vs. R Truth
This is the 12th time King Barrett and R Truth have wrestled on television since the start of the Intercontinental Keystone Cops Program began back in March. This is the second pay per view in a row featuring Truth and Barrett competing over what was
once
a coveted artifact—the King of the Ring crown. In fact, aside from one, every Mountain Dew sponsored Kick Off since Wrestlemania has featured either King Barrett or R Truth. A winner? Certainly not the fans. Here’s my question: will the WWE bump this match up to the main show now that they’re down a triple threat? Or will they make up the time with something else. Let’s get a chant going guys: “Something Else! Something else!” I take issue with the idea of the KOTR crown being traded superfluously on the pre show to a C-rate ‘Network Special. I assume Truth is going to win; Wade Barrett should go to Japan.
Educated Guess: R Truth
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
I like Sheamus. I like Randy Orton. I do not like Sheamus versus Randy Orton. Baby face Orton makes me sick, and “Are You Not Entertained” Sheamus is not entertaining. For the record, I do not think he looks stupid. I like his music, I like his look, I think he’s a good worker, but his goofy catchphrases are too much. Especially when they’re flagrantly lifted from Oscar winning movies like
Gladiator
. I have absolutely no emotional investment in this match whatsoever. Not one iota of interest and I’ll more than likely be assembling a sandwich while it’s on. My educated guess? Pepper ham, roast turkey breast, provolone cheese.
Educated Guess: Randy Orton
Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
If Bray doesn’t win this match, he needs to take some time away from the roster. Bray Wyatt is one of my favorite
characters
in the WWE, and I’m not as hard on his work in the ring as some other critics tend to be. But I do find it bizarre that Bray Wyatt has seemingly zero wins under his belt. None that matter, at least. It doesn’t matter how many times he beats Dean Ambrose on Raw or Smackdown, the last time he came out on the winning end of a storyline was against Chris Jericho. That was Summerslam 2014—eleven months ago. He’s been caught in a perpetual downward spiral since then and I’m just not sure how I’m suppose to feel about him. A diabolical heel should perhaps rack up a couple of tallies in the “W Column,” but that’s not the case with the “New Face of Fear.” What’s to fear about a guy who only appears on television and never delivers on what he promises? I think this entire thing should end with Roman Reigns tossing a hammer into the Titan Tron as Bray Wyatt is telling the masses: “We shall prevail!” Does anybody get that reference? It would be a nice advertising tie-in for Apple. That’s all I’ll say. Given the WWE and their erratic and almost neurotically balance booking, I’m willing to bet Roman Reigns pulls this one out.
Educated Guess: Roman Reigns
WWE World Tag Team Championship
The Primetime Players (c) vs. The New Day
The “Not Quite Ready for Primetime Players” was the nickname given to the inaugural cast of Saturday Night Live. Did you know that? I like to toss together some random tidbits whenever I can—whenever they
APPLY
I should say. Unlike the WWE announcers; Jerry Lawler has 6 interchangeable jokes for everybody on the roster, and JBL name drops every pop culture reference whenever he’s given time to talk. Let’s talk about this match though: the Primetime Players are defending their world tag team titles against the
proprietors of positivity
themselves, the New Day. Big E and Kofi Kingston took on the Lucha Dragons this past week on Smackdown, and it would be
assumed
that same tandem will represent the clique once more. I’ve said before—I think running with the Primetime Players as tag team champions was the WWE’s way of saying “Thank You” for everything Darren and Titus do. I think it’s probably time for the New Day to regain the straps, but with Summerslam just mere weeks away, I guess I shouldn’t be so sure. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the Primetime Players retain their titles, and live to fight another day.
Educated Guess: The Primetime Players
WWE U.S. Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Kevin Owens
The match that most people are more than likely waiting to see is the rubber match between two of the most popular and—yes I’m going to say it—
POLARIZING
members of the WWE roster. John Cena has offered to put his United States Championship on the line in the past, but Owens has always declined. Until weeks ago, when the man Rusev called a “French American” made it very clear: he wants that US Title, because Cena has it. I feel like there’s a lot of hype going into this match; can their third and potentially final (for a while) battle possibly meet expectation? I’m most certainly optimistic. Given the unlimited potential of Owens and the unstoppable determination of Cena, I think it’s same to say we haven’t seen anything yet. In terms of picking a winner, we need to look a few weeks ahead. I’ll be attending both Summerslam and NXT Brooklyn, both of which are poised to be much bigger shows than
BATTLEGROUND
. Owens is set to challenge Finn Balor in a rematch for the NXT Championship; is the WWE really going to have the
United States
champion from the main roster lose to the NXT Champion? I don’t think so—but I also didn’t think Jushin “Thunder” Liger would be on this show. While I can’t predict the future for Owens, I’m having an equally hard time figuring out where Cena might be in a matter of months. Will John Cena MD – Pediatric Thuganomics decide to enter the world title scene any time soon? So many questions, and to answer the one right in front of me: I think John Cena is walking out of St. Louis with the U.S. Championship.
Educated Guess: John Cena
WWE World Heavyweight ChampionshipВ
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Brock Lesnar
The Undertaker will be appearing on Raw tomorrow night, and rumors are running rampant that he could be wrestling at this year’s “Biggest Party of the Summer.” While I don’t
personally
ever want to see ‘Taker again, I get his appeal and I’d rather they use him at Summerslam than just shoehorn him into Wrestlemania during the first week of March. So why am I talking about the Undertaker? Well let me first say, I do not think Brock Lesnar is going to win this match. I’ll speak to my point from earlier—Battleground just isn’t a big enough show. So how could Seth possibly retain his title, especially now that J&J Security are out, Kane is crippled, and Stephanie McMahon is the new
face
of the Diva’s Division? Well I mentioned the Undertaker. Not only did I mention the Undertaker, but Seth Rollins mentions the Undertaker on a seemingly regular basis while berating Kane. Now that the Demon is out, might the Phenom step up to defend “his baby brother?” There’s talk that the ‘Taker might finally retire in 2016, and if so I think a Seth Rollins program with the title in contention could be a fun way to sail off into Wrestlemania Season. Whether something like that happens remains to be seen, but I definitely think the match will end in a disqualification.
Educated Guess: Brock Lesnar via DQ
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