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http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42689 2013-12-14T07:20:46Z 2013-12-14T07:20:45Z

And so it begins. Out Slammy fallout and last ditch effort to sell a PPV. It’s hard to care about this episode of Smackdown, seeing that I have very little reason to care about said PPV and this Sunday on BWF Radio we are holding our own annual awards. Tonight’s episode is nominated for least […]

Logo
Hopping time…

“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work… etc., albeit I’m taking it easy this week because this episode means shit.

- So our show kicks off with Daniel Bryan coming down to the ring with his many Slammys even though it’s set up to show off the two titles being unified with a bunch of ladders set up around the ring. Then the Wyatts make their sullen entrance right out of nowhere. WTF? I mean, I get the story lines, but it just seems bizarre to see everything set up for Cena/Orton to come out… and then…

- * Daniel Bryan vs. Eric Rowan. Yawn. So I begin eating a mandarin orange. It’s pretty tasty. This match isn’t terrible, it’s just redundant. I suppose having the least relevant Wyatt’er job out to Bryan makes some sense. But of course it ends in interference by Bray. At the end of the match, as the hosses go to attack Bryan, he bails out of the ring and nails Bray literally out of his rocking chair with The MTBJC and “Yes!”‘s off up the entrance ramp.

Cool spot.

- * Non-Title Match: Goldust and Cody Rhodes {C} vs. The Real Americans. The Real Americans run down to the ring and javelin toss their flag-javelins into the ring and at the dangling titles. Weird. Then Coulter cuts a promo about some street Santa collecting money who says Feliz Navidad. Therefore he’s an immigrant. The Rhodes Bros enter and our action gets underway. This ends up being a pretty entertaining bout, even though I expected just run ins. Instead, all four men are given time to shine and put on a pretty lengthy match. Ultimately, Cesaro hits his European Undercut spot on Cody and gets the clean pin. Coulter loses his mind, overjoyed that his team got the win. Calling the “he who wins on the episode before the PPV” rule here.

It’s what’s best for business… Source

- Bad News Barrett magically appears and tells us that fans put false hope into superstars by voting for them at The Slammys. And the bad news is that we are all losers and our heroes will face that reality because while we live vicariously through them, they all suck compared to Barrett. Fuck that. That’s code for the McMahon’s being pissed that Daniel Bryan won all of those awards on RAW.

- * Mark Henry vs. Damien Sandow (Big E Smalls is on commentary, kicking a free style rap with JBL while Micheal Cole beat boxes). Sandow realizes early on a straight forward attack is not going to work, and gets tossed from the ring. Sandow then notes fuck this, and intentionally gets himself counted out. Smalls then tosses him back in, but Sandow sneaks away yelling “This Sunday!” at Sandow then fleeing from the I.C. Champ.

I think so, Joe… DUST CLOUD!

- Booker T sells ‘E Swag down by the ‘E Store.

- * AJ Lee & Tamina vs. The Bella Twins. Natalya joins commentary, and so she bickers with Cole about Total Divas (which goes head to head with TLC on Sunday). The Bellas stink up the joint, and four baby Pandas die due random velociraptor attacks. A Panda from the future (named, “Panda” coincidentally), time travels back to prevent said attacks from happening, but accidentally brings back cyborg velociraptors which kill another 12 baby pandas and maim 2 others. “Panda” the panda is also murdered. See what you did Bella Twins? God damn. A.J. gets her side-body hug thing on a Bella and wins or some shit.

Said Wombat, rides a turtle because it can.

- John Cena is in the ring next to talk about unifying the titles. His microphone is screwed up and his audio is really low. Cena notes Orton has a glass jaw and will always run away when things don’t go his way. Meh, it is what it is. It’s an ok Cena promo, but nowhere near his shtick in the closing segment on Monday.

Just in time for the holidays.

- * The Shield vs. The Usos. Dean Ambrose joins commentary (which in itself makes this match highly watchable). They let this one breathe, and Ambrose enhances the action in the ring by keeping the announcers focused on what’s going on, and what the story is. The Usos take it to Seth Rollins, and Mr. Slammy, Roman Reigns, only makes occasional appearances in the first half. It makes me wonder how ready this guy REALLY is ready to carry himself through a 15 minute match on his own? I’d argue no.

- Then it happens. Cole ponders if CM Punk could actually win in the 3-1 match on Sunday.

Ambrose quips, “I could sprout giant wings, right now, and I could fly out of this building, right now… I could grow antlers out of my head, right now… JBL could spontaneously combust, right now…”
“That would be terrible for commentary,” retorts JBL attempting to keep a straight face as Ambrose shoots daggers into Cole from his eyes.
“Are you going to think about that? Are we going to talk about that?” Ambrose calmly and smartly continues.

- Those were probably the lines of the night.

- Meanwhile, our match continues and Reigns gets more ring time here. The Usos get some near falls, but it’s just not enough. Jimmy-Jay lands a superkick and goes for a cross body on a fallen Rollins, but then opts to fly to the outside. Then one of them Uso-types eats a sick spear from Reigns. The Shield recover in the ring as the referee nearly counts them both out. One of the twins makes it in, and gets curb stomped. Rollins mocks the GTS setup, then tags in Reigns who spears said random Uso twin for the pin and the win. Great match!

There’s so many reasons this is funny.

- CM Punk appears on the Russo-tron. He’s in The Shield’s backstage hangout. He talks about “believing” and his beliefs. Punk notes he might be going down, but the question is how many of them he is taking with them.

- * The Big Show vs. Ryback. Well, here’s certainly a contrast from the last match. A whole lot of slapping and being oversized and bald in this one. Curtis Axel stands at ringside, I guess. As does Rey Mysterio. They both begin to unroll their sleeping bags and proceed to take naps. They hardly have a chance to enter into a slumbery state as Show murders Ryback. Curtis Axel foolishly interferes like a fool, and foolhardily takes a Show-setup 619 via Mysterio for his tomfoolery.

There’s so many reasons this is NOT funny.

- Another Wyatt video. Bray is maniacly and emotionally talking about putting his neck on the line for “you.” He talks about leaving this world behind… then whispers something about destroying stuff. He’s too quiet to understand. Oh well.

* Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. I guess ADR isn’t THAT concussed? Nope, in runs the Miz who is stealing ADR’s gimmick of switching from face to heel on a weekly basis as the holidays near this year. Miz lays out Kofi, with his patented “Nobody-Cares” special move. That’s about that. Moving on.

@Charles Barkley @G: “Like my trenchcoat, G? I can conceal weapons I can use on you when I find you…”

@G @Charles Barkley “Umm… Merry Christmas?”

- Great. Orton is going to the ring to publicly apologize to accidentally laying out Stephers on RAW. This is going to be a winner for an award on BWF Radio this Sunday, I’m sure. J.T. is seen in the audience eating a Jorge cheeseburger made by Joe or something. No regular jokes this week. Speaking of jokes, Orton begins to speak. He calls out HHH to talk to him robot to man. Orton appeals to HHH’s sense of reason that what happened was an accident. Clips are shown. I realize this is our main event. THE FUCK? Here’s some logos:

Alternate WWE logo designs for the network.(graphic artist: John Lefteratos)

- Orton shows more angles and slow-motion footage of him attempting an RKO on Bryan and is tossed into Stephanie. Orton admits lots of shit went down on Monday, but he only cares about apologies by him to HHH and Steph. HHH reminds Orton he’s seen the footage numerous times as those are his cameras and he’s watched the footage over and over again. Wait, what? Isn’t that more creepy than anything? Wow. Firing Orton wouldn’t be best for business, shocking, I know. Hunter acknowledges, “A lot of shit went piss poor on mother fucking RAW, just like with my first incarnation of Sin Cara. But I’ve fixed that, you see, because sales for that little midget’s gear went through the roof in Europe. That’s a fucking cash cow, Randall! DO YOU HEAR ME! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY UNITS OF RANDALL KEITH ORTON ORANGE SKIN DYE WE SELL PER ANNUM IN FLO RIDA? YES, THAT RAPPER DUDE! DO YOU KNOW, JACK?!?!??”. HHH’s words, not mine. Hunter kind of forgives him, and they make all sexy like and give each other a handjob and then…

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

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I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

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Listen LIVE starting at 2 PM EST here. here on Mixlr.com.
Check out BWF Radio every week. It goes up on i-Tunes on Sunday in the late afternoon of North America
Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

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Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

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Cheap Heat

A go to place for professional wrestling, boxing, MMA, and other combat sports news, rumors, podcasts and so forth. Always a nice place to get your fix, or simply learn more about the performers and athletes themselves. They are one of our go to resources for news and information for BWF Radio, and we wouldn’t have it any other way to share our content with them. Great site!
Joe continues not to notice this section. It’s like a Talking Heads song or something. 4 weeks and counting. He was warned.

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WTF?

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Sept 6, 2013. I am a clone of G. I am currently handcuffed to one of the lower legs of G’s sofa in his apartment. Yesterday, while the real G was at work, monkey nearby shrieked at me to attempt to lift the sofa. It worked! I went to thank the monkey located in an open-doored cage on the stairs leading down to the basement of G’s basement apartment, and noticed a large man strapped into a chair in the basement. I then heard the original G returning home. I need to find his magical device that created me…

Sept 13, 2013. The real Gee has noticed my writing. That stupid fuck hasn’t deleted anything, but he did taze me repeatedly. I still think there is a monkey held captive on the stairs to the second level of this building.
Sept 20, 2013. Made progress today. Discovered some kind of cloning device. I used it to clone the device itself, and hid the copy under the couch I am "hand-cuffed" to. The monkey saw this, but I don't think he'll say anything. He's a monkey, after all. Some dude named Johnny Storm stopped by to say hi. Weird.

Sept 27, 2013. An obese man who claims to be famous magically appeared in the living room today. He told me the cloning gadget I made a copy of has the powers to do much more. Sounded like a bunch of crap to me. I immediately knocked him out and tied him up beside the one the “real” G calls “Barks.” Both look the same. I killed the new guy and fed him to the other captives. I think. They both look the same. All of that future-talk and preventing the death of kayfabe annoyed me. Either way, one of the “Barks” was dinner. He tasted like chicken. Big surprise there.

Oct 4, 2013. So I guess the guy I fed to his doppleganger was actually able to escape last week with help from that J.T. guy. He was screaming something about “his” chair. Either way, G is pissed and punished me all week. He said something about maybe sending me to Fall Camp. I decided to not make any decisive moves. It seems for the best. Just like the WWE, I guess, albeit “best” isn’t the “best” word I’d use to describe the product.

Oct 18, 2013. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to write here. G has been continually sending me off to ancient historical eras to collect random artifacts. I don’t understand why a stool sample from Henry Hudson is so important. And what was the point of leaving a smoke bomb in the front hall of the Palace of Versailles on May 6, 1682? I’m told I’m going to have to… gotta go. He’s home.

Nov. 8, 2013. I’ve been sent on a bunch of weird missions. The most weird was when G sent me back to 2008. See, I snuck former PM Tony Blair into Buckingham Palace and stapled old-people-face to his kind of already old-people-face. No one has noticed even until today. I still don’t understand why he made me do that.

Nov. 15, 2013. This last week was even more bizarre. He made me put on some suit and a red tie and shave my head, and then pretend to be in control of his weekly scab collecting group. I burst in, and told the vice president and current scab champion collector that I was in charge. We bickered back and forth for a while, and then G kicked in the door dressed in drag and began shrieking that since he was the vice president of the chess club next door he was taking over. Very odd.

Dec. 6, 2013: Charles Barkley recently abducted me and took me on a cruise ship with him. We circumvented the planet, stopping at various ports-of-call, and living the high life again. It was really awesome. Then sadly, today, I awoke only to find myself back on the couch of G’s apartment. Was it all a dream?

Dec. 13, 2013. Nope, not a dream. In fact somewhat of a nightmare. This week I was forced to go to work for G while he vigorously stayed home masturbating (I can only assume) and eating nachos. Work sucked. Firstly, I am not trained to do anything G actually does at his jobs, so I looked like a complete idiot. Oddly enough, some fellow who has a Bruce Springsteen complex and calls himself “The Boss” told me that my work had shown significant improvement today. I am pretty sure G’s jobs don’t involve a body count, though.

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Hockey Fan

Bored Hockey Fan is by the fans for the fans and delivers content related to hockey in any forms. We encourage similar minded people to contact us and represent their team’s POV, while retaining the rights to their work.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42686 2013-12-07T08:43:07Z 2013-12-07T08:43:07Z

Well, here we are again. Yes, it’s Friday. I started off my day driving through the snowy tundra hell that Calgary has become over the last week in search of a drill bit set for my Dad. Then I had the delight of appearing on an upcoming special episode of RWR with Alice Radley . Then, I returned to the tundra and honed my trades, only to return to Smackdown. That’s what life is… a series of down-endings. You start being ripped from the womb. Childhood is awesome, but you don’t appreciate it. Then you work. Then you die. So with that bleak metaphor…

Then we found out our RWR recording was corrupted and the file was lost. Alice and I had a fun conversation… but it seems that Barkley hates wrestling fans.

Logo
Hopping time…

“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. And as J.T. Hogan has observed, it often makes more sense than the program you are actually watching. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question. Often these reviews are read aloud on BWF Radio, a show that ThatDamnDoubleC hijacks and attempts to be funny in the show notes. He’s never funny. Also, go fuck yourself, RAW review.

- I just read the non-spoiler match listing. This will not bode well. Four. Four non-title matches. Ahem…

- DIE!!!

- Four-sided die, to be exact.

- Our soulless automaton champion of Monday Night Chafed makes his way down in search of more human slaves now that the robots have taken over. In 10 days, he shall be upgrading his software and installing more RAM against the Man they call Cena-Evil. They have been doing battle for about five years in a match for the ages. And that matches’ time limit is almost up. Amazon drones begin delivering flaming paper bags willed with robot used oil discharges to the audience within a half an hour.

It was free cake night.

- Then ~~John Connor~~ Denial Bryan rushes out to note that he has never been legitimately been beaten by Orton. And he’s too legit to quit. Even though he has been distracted by parachute pants, and training to become a preacher in a bayou. He wants a match tonight with Astroboy. Astroboy is unable to detect the mistake he made in his account of the adventure in tonight’s episode and his punishment is to face Dray Bryatt in a match of no significance… TONIGHT!

London is that much better than you.

- * Non-Title Match: Big E. Langston {C} vs. Fandango (w/ Some R. Ray). Yay? I liked Johnny Curtis. I like Mr. Cocaine Hands. I suspect there is absolutely no reason for Big E. Smalls to get murdered by not-so-much Damien Sandow two Sundays from now. So this match is pretty much a paper cut in the book known as “WWE Letting G Down”. Langston eats him, and grinds up his bones to make some bread. Damien Sandow shows up and reads a book to Big E. Cocaine and all the children in the audience… only to be interrupted by some dick named Jack that Hogan and HHH always refer to in their promos. J.T. is seen in the audience with Jorge and Joe climbing up what appears to be a giant, phallic-esque foliage growth that has erupted through the north section of the arena. Mark, of BWF Radio, looks on, commenting, “Why in the hell are you three climbing up that?” Joe responds, “I’ve already died in these reviews, what do I have to lose?” J.T. follows up with, “Peer pressure?” Jorge is seen eating beans. Only Mark survives. Or maybe he was kidnapped. Perhaps he is no longer Leo Krueger. It doesn’t matter.

THAT DOG LEARNED TO DRIVE A FUCKING CAR. Jerk. Seriously. A car. Think about that..

- * Non-Title Match: Goldust and Cody Rhodes {C} vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel. The Rhodes Bros get to work early with Together-We-Are-One-Wrestler-Who-Is-Still-Boring. If TWAOWWISB was given to actually win the belts in this match, they would have problems too. It looked like a good start, as Goldust and Rhodes seem to do little wrong. However, the finish is heeltastic (in the loosest sense of the words) as Cody attempting to get back into to the ring is dragged in by Curtis “No-Days-Off-From-Being-Charismatic” Axel and rolled up. Yawn. He gets the pin, ~~and suck~~ . ~~and suck.~~ and suck.

Spoiling kayfabe before the internet. Did smarks live in their Mom’s basement before electricity? I hope so. They could look after the smoked salted meat that way. People might try to steal that stuff. Snap into one!

- I’m still looking for the little gem in this episode. It’s in here, dammit.

- “Bad News” Wade “The Barber” Barrett is out here. First he tells us that Barrett Barrage Energy Bars stock has been decreasing at a rapid rate, as the corpse of multi-share owner Jorge (of BWF Radio Fame) is seen plummeting from the sky half eaten, and half pants-less. J.T. is stapled to him holding up a sign stating: “Investing was a bad idea in this gimmick too!”. J.T. is saved by a flying trampoline sited in Glasgow and returns well beyond the Avatar plant world, to cloud city where he cunt punches Lando Calrissian. He then steals Billy Dee Williams moustache and sells it to Eric Cartman and opens a new chain of fastfood chili outlets, because that’s how he boils. Not that I would stir the pot. I was fired unceremoniously fired from J.T.’s Chili Funtime for adding my own homemade ingredient.

… so yeah.

- What a waste. Barrett is tells us the audience is cowardly sheep. Is this like reverse-DDP? When he retires, will he do Agoy?

- Tonight Punk will take on a single member of The Shield tonight. They cut a fun promo, and one in which Reigns starts. It might be the gem. Reigns, actually… no seriously, leads this promo and does a very good job. “It’s going to take the baddest man in The Shield to take him out…” says Reigns, as our promo nears it’s end. He is cut off by Ambrose, who notes, “In other words, It’s me.” They hi-five and shit, but Roman looks a little upset, only furthering the storyline.

- * Non-Title Match: Dean Ambrose {C} vs. CM Punk. This might be our gem. The Shield enter, and in classic mode, Ambrose gives them their departure and heads out alone. I miss that. This is pretty cool. Ambrose and Punk are clearly calling this in the ring, and that makes me swoon. I remember Punk calling Ambrose the WWE’s secret weapon. The two trade spots in a match that really displays what could be potential for a PPV quality match (and I’m not shocked) for segments. This may be the best match I watched this week. I just watched it, and shit, this is why I watch wrestling. Punk SHOULD be the US Champion, but for a match… yeah. Watch this. I found a third thumb to put up. Punk wins with a GTS, as he should. And yet, it leaves me watching more.

- Backstage, Renee Young talks to Rey Mysterio about the Cena/Orton title match thingy. Zeb Coulter and his crew interrupt wondering why Mysterio wears a mask and what he is hiding. Rey, retorts noting he was born in ‘Murica, so this prompts a match issuing via Coulter. Rey notes that print media is dead, and the internet is the wave of the future. Suddenly a Tsunami filled with the ink of lies floods the interview! Michelangelo of Renaissance fame is seen swinging his nunchucks, skateboarding, and screaming that the pizza-dude is late. He is a repeated complainant, and dies from ingesting a double-pepperoni filled with staples for not tipping. Raphael shakes his head, and then turns his shell, quietly mumbling, “You should have gave him a real address, Mikey. That was a dick move.”

Just another thing of beauty. Albeit, if this happened in a game…

- * Natalya vs. Tamina. AJ joins commentary to detract from the best two Divas from actually wrestling. Sigh. Gotta fuck up everything in the female division, don’t you, WWE? AJ is all banter and head tilts we can’t see as Cole attempts to ignore people screaming at him in his headset. The two ladies have a great match, regardless. The crowd kind of reacts, and that is what you want. It’s a shame it’s short, but Natalya picks up the win.

Reason 1 soccer games are low scoring.

- Shopzone ad. Fuck that.

- * Rey Mysterio and Big Show vs. The Real Americans. I see. I kind of care about this. This is really a story about Show defending Mysterio, because of some backstage shenanigans tonight. It’s a typical, but fun match. Will this be on TLC for no reason? Probably. It seems like a bit of a waste of all four guys though. The best part is Show putting Rey on his shoulders to get the finish with a diving headbutt. But still, why? Worth a watch. Storytelling need not apply.

The world changed. Hobo won. Deal.

- Contract signings… RAW… It’s been 5 years, and the time limit is coming to an end. I hope we get this in 2018 too. RESTART THE MATCH!

- Alice and I discuss this:

It’s always a good idea to make light of WWII, because… umm…

- HEY LOOK!! It’s Bad News Brown here to tell us that the product is in a down-turn! YAY! He has good news? We are garunteed to only have one champion, and will be the champion of champions. But the bad news is that he will be targeted by random heels that will job to him, because LOL, Cena wins.

- The non-spoilers said * Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio was a thing. I maybe missed it. Oh well.

He really is a robot. He can put his arm back on (and add a third), so play safe. Order… cheese… burgers.

- * Non-Title Match: Randy Orton {C} vs. Daniel Bryan. I can’t say I’m thrilled about this. This feud was ruined, and since it’s purely a fucking grudge match, why should I? Why should you? Exactly. Fuck this. The match itself is good, don’t get me wrong, even with the backstory being a steaming pile of RKO-Collector items. Fuck it. This match is good. Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t care about it. Non-title can suck my ass. It’s filled with digestive fluids and solid matter, only available at your local G.

@Charles Barkley @G: “Thanks for letting me kidnap the not-you, you.”

@G @Charles Barkley “First my marker, and now this!?!”

- Then the Wyatts run in and distract, and Orton gets an RKO on Bryan for the win. Spooky. I guess. Beards of a feather will beard together? Lame. Just lame… Movember is over, so I guess it’s Beardvember?

- My bad, Bray Wyatt is seen on the Turnertron cutting a promo… Wyatt questions how many times Bryan must cross this burning bridge fighting alone, and essentially aludes to that Brian should side with the beards and whatnot. Yeah, if cults and shit. I kind of dig this tangent. It would be better if they make this whole gimmick about the bullshit screwing over of the IWC fans, and the kids who like pointing upwards multiple times while voting affirmatively.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Logo
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

———————————————————-

I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

———————————————————–

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

———————————————————-

This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

———————————————————–

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

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Cheap Heat

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WTF?

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Dec. 6, 2013: Charles Barkley recently abducted me and took me on a cruise ship with him. We cirumvented the planet, stopping at various ports-of-call, and living the high life again. It was really awesome. Then sadly, today, I awoke only to find myself back on the couch of G’s apartment. Was it all a dream?

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Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42684 2013-12-02T00:32:41Z 2013-12-02T00:32:41Z

This is exactly what Jorge will look like when he’s doing RWR tomorrow night.

This week, the crew discuss independent wrestling, as Joe and Jorge recount their experience at Empire State Wrestling’s “WrestleBash” event. В Joe, Jorge, JT, G, and Mark are joined by Topher of ProWrestlingPowerhouse, and unexpectedly by Doc Knight and KATANA from Original Stampede Wrestling. В We cover most of wrestling television from the week, discuss the lack of continuity in the Brie Bella/Daniel Bryan WWE television relationship, and ponder the absurdity that was the Michael Strahan/Titus O’Neil/Miz segment from RAW. В In the news, are the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships really being unified? В What did Matt Hardy think of RAW? В Where is AJ Styles going next? В And more importantly, how is The Dynamite Kid doing after his recent strokes? В All these questions are answered to the best of our ability on BWF Radio! В Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 102 (MP3, 2:37:22)

This week’s break song was “Underwhelmed” by Sloan. В Buy it here !

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42678 2013-11-17T22:23:32Z 2013-11-17T22:23:32Z

He’s still relevant – if only because his theme song is heard at the start of every episode.

The BWF Radio crew reminisce over past episodes and are joined by Mr. Brian Deville of the DeVille Agency. В Mr. DeVille talks up his clients, RJ City and Rhett Titus, both of whom will be in action on Sunday, November 30th at Empire State Wrestling’s WrestleBash event in Lockport, NY. В Also appearing on the WrestleBash card are Kevin Nash, Gene Snitsky, Trent?, Colin Delaney, and first ever BWF interviewee Johnny Gargano. В We discuss this week’s wrestling television, go over the news, and celebrate 100 episodes of BWF Radio! В Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 100 (MP3, 3:02:39)

This week’s break songs were “Afternoon Delight” from the Anchorman soundtrack ( purchase it here ), and “Pull My Strings” by The Dead Kennedys ( purchase it here ).

More information on Empire State Wrestling can be found at ESWWrestling.com . В Mr. DeVille can be found on Twitter at Brian_DeVille .

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42675 2013-11-16T07:37:25Z 2013-11-16T07:37:25Z

Introduction goes here, I guess. Oh and make sure you check out BWF Radio this Sunday where we celebrate our second episode in one hundred years! It’s going to be a show! Hopping time… “I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each […]

Introduction goes here, I guess.

Oh and make sure you check out BWF Radio this Sunday where we celebrate our second episode in one hundred years! It’s going to be a show!

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Hopping time…

“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode… penguins everywhere in my apartment, I can’t seem to shake’em. Do you know how to reattach a severed finger? I sure as hell do now. Anyways, yeah, Smackdown every week. Stupid fucking RAW reviews.

- My belly is a little sore. I think that flu shot I had at lunch might have something to do with it. People tell me not to mix shots with Ebola Beer, but I figured since I had Crabs for lunch with an extra side of shampoo sauce that I would be ok. Although one of those little fine tipped toothpicks on the special brush thingy they give you broke off in my mouth and I may have swallowed it. I’m thinking about swallowing a trained fly to retrieve it.

- There’s an old school telephone booth on the stage and what I can only assume is a Union Jack flag hanging in the back. So Smackdown must be in a racist fueled Southern US State during the 1950-1960′s or something.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

- * The Usos vs. Rowan and Harper. Boo-yah vs. Bayou. We get our typical creepy entrance from Bray and his lads down. Then we get the Uso dance. JT is seen in the audience talking to some fellow in a life-preserver. He holds up a sign that says, “G, this guy says he is Calvin Klein and he needs to find Doc. Wasn’t Luke Gallows just picked up by NJPW?” I write with my jiffy marker filled with the ink of lies on my television absolutely nothing. WHERE IS MY MARKER?!?!?

@Charles Barkley @G: “IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! I STOLE IT! Seriously though, congrats on getting a hundred straight streak on BWF Radio this Sunday.”

@G @Charles Barkley “Fuck you, marker thief. I will recapture and contain you in my apartment basement once again. THIS. I. PROMISE. YOU. #FF”

- I guess we’re back, and so is this match. Was it ever really on? Rowan really has that effect on me. Harper is not too bad, and the Usos can be good on occasion, but damnit, Rowan really deflates this match. As the Usos build up for a hot tag, Bray sits up on his chair looking concerned. After some near falls for all men involved, Harper lands a lariat clothesline upon JimmyJamJayJob and gets the pin. For two segments, this felt like an entrance, a finish, and a god-damn-marker-thief.

- Post match, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on CM Punk and Bryan. It’s decent, but nothing mind blowing. Much more watchable than that match, I’ll give it that.

Even if you don’t know who this is, it’s still pretty epic.

- Ryback is bitching backstage with Curtis Axel where Ryback accuses Axel of being a suck-up. They have to team together, and acknowledge neither of them are Paul Heyman guys anymore.

- The PTP’s run into a rapping R-Truth. Truth is not amused by Titus Oneil piss-poor rhyme skills and Young’s cover of “We Are the World.” Then they all do the millions of dollars dance with Jorge of BWF Radio.

MOM! I’m trying to take over the world, here!

- We get what appears to be another WWE Shop Zone ad with William Regal, but Vickie gets rid of Regal and swaps in The Mediocre Khali. And what ensues is completely almost incoherent and mildly amusing. Easily the best one of these to date, if they have to exist.

- * Natalya vs. Tamina (First Piss Your Pants Match). Yes, because that’s what Totally Divers was about last Sunday. Could you imagine if they actually let these two have a real match? What we get, is a taste of a good match for a couple minutes. But it culminates with AJ going to distract and get knocked from the apron to the floor, and Nattie submitting Tamina with a Sharpshooter. EXHILARATING!

- I turn off my television and vivaciously remain seated in my chair frowning. Backstage, Bradly Maddox talks to Vic-Rod about her usurping of power on RAW last Monday. Guerrero is all giddy that it’s Maddox and Kane who are going to get in trouble from Mom and Dad because they let Kimmy Gibbler run the show while Danny Tanner was off hanging with Rob Ford, or Lita Ford, or Harrison Ford, or it’s all they could afford for plane tickets (also, HHH and Stephanie hate British people) or something. Brad retorts and screams at Vickie, “AFTER DINNER, I HAD ICE CREAM! I FELL ASLEEP AND WATCHED TV!”

- Perhaps swallowing that trained fly was a bad idea. Fortunately, I also have a trained spider to catch the fly… here goes nothing!

Mmm! Mmm! (cough) Good!

- * R-Truth and The Prime Time Players vs. 3MB. 3MB’s are still trying to appeal to the Uck crowd with their Union Jack yoga pants. This is actually a pretty fun match, and not a waste of time. It’s unfortunate they didn’t continue R-Truth’s free-styling during his intro where he runs his opponent(s) down. I thought that was a refreshing twist for his character. I was also amazed that R-Truth had a cigarette in his mouth for the entire match and that didn’t illicit a “That’s Illegal!” chant in the Uck this time. Truth wins with his scissor kick thing. And then all three faces put on Union Jack jack-offs and are joined by The Sandman and John Morrison (yeah, the Marvel villain and Dead rockstar) and they all smoke and drink beers while dancing to a bass solo rendition of “Enter Sandman” as performed by Nick Hogan.

- Maybe swallowing the well-trained spider was a bad idea… I feel much much….

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Spiderman is so awesome.

- Backstage, Brad Maddox is seen crouched, clutching his knees in a dark corner mumbling, “Grandma take me home, Grandma take me home, Grandma take me home…” over and over again. Then for no reason, he stands up and faces the corner and The Blair Witch kills him… I think. They used The Shield camera effect for this scene, shit was all jumbly.

Best Olympic Event ever.

- * Arm Wrestling Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena. ADR starts off talking about being robbed of his title at the last PPV. He’s a mad mad man. With the mic in his hands, Even in a fight with the hands, he’s not an AMC Show. Out comes Cena to retort in 2008 rap talk to massive boos as some dude on the hard camera dressed as Superman stands up and heralds the crowd. Cena makes fun of him and tries to play to the British. After some banter, they get to it. Cena immediately snaps ADR down to win! ADR demands a rematch, and it happens. It’s the same result, but this time ADR cheap shots Cena in the head. They bumble around the ring, and Cena ultimately goes through the table to end the segment.

- That’s it, I’m buying this PPV.

Also… Best Olympic Event ever.

- ThinkSoJoE’s favorite musician Florida (feat./ Rob Ford) has the official interpretative dance routine for the Surveillance Stories PPV entitled, “The Rock, The Godfather, and The Deadman – Think About the Children”. I bought the 8mm collector’s edition.

- * Naomi and Cameron vs. The Bellas. And then…

- I hear a familiar tapping at my glass door balcony. It’s Jorge, arriving on what might be The ~~Sliver~~ Silver Surfer’s board? The fuck? I have no time to fuck with ~~Kurt Cobain’s Mom~~ Galactus tonight.

J.T.: Check out this sweet hoverboard Calvin Klein gave me, G!
Jorge: It seats four people.
Joe: Well three with…
Jorge: Aren’t you a zombie? Why’d we even bring you?
G: That will be explained at one time. Where’s Mark, Jorge?
Jorge: He’s dead. Joe ate him.
Joe: ME!?!? If anyone at him…
J.T.: I think he wasn’t sure if he could make the BWF Radio this week, so you wrote him out, G.
G: I did?
J.T.: Yep.
Joe: G, I am assuming you put this in here as a little tribute to all the funny little BWF Theatre bits you did…
G: They were never funny.
Jorge: It’s not a tribute? Like for the special episode of cock talk on Sunday?
G: Nope, I Ambrose aloud.
J.T.: You’re a dick, G.
G: I hate all of you, now leave.

- And just like that, I alienate all three of my friends as they ride off into the mortal coil as Galactus kills them anyways, because the RAW Reviews suck. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BWF RADIO!

- Oh right, the Diva’s match. That happened. I am pretty sure Naomi won.

- Backstage, Renee Pacquette interviews Punk and Bryan. She feeds them more “yes” inspired questions. Bryan coins, “The Beard and The Best,” which Punk likes. CM goes on about Wyatt and that the easiest way to kill a one-eyed snake is to hit up Brazzers and tucker the little guy out until he spits out the truth. I’ve seen truth, and if passing a kidney stone is painful… well, shit.

Someone needs more training.

- * Handicap Match: The Mediocre Khali vs. Hunico and Camacho (not w/ JTG). I smell future endeavored. Those guys always seem to get one last hurrah before they get released to remind the indies they once were on TV. Maybe it’s like a small bit of charity to give them some kind of name value on the indies? Who knows. JTG gets most to the offence in here, as he’s nowhere to been seen. Then the other two just job and job. Khali defeats Hunico in like a minute with the “Knees of Dust”. I hope the rematch is the mainevent at Survivor Series.

JTG’s last win on Raw was February 23rd, 2009.

- “Manchester Mayhem”? That’s up next.

- Lot’s of Randall Keith Orton recap crap. Meh. FFW, naturally.

The Director’s Cut is a pretty sweet finisher. Call English up.

- * CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs. Curtis Axel and Ryback. Whelp, we have 30 minutes to go. I am sincerely going to sit back and just try to watch and enjoy this. I have faith that it’s possible here, even with Ryback in the ring.

NOOOOOOO!!!!! NOT VACANT!!!!!

- Ok, after 10 minutes of entrances and commercials for Spatula City (one of the best BWF Radio moments over the last two years), we finally get down to business. No time to be wasted folks, as you know, my ass has ripples. It looks like its a slow methodical start to this fucker, so that’s a good indication. Our four minute segment ends with a stereo-suicide dive on the heels to the outside which brings up the crowd a level. Typical commerical break, as is such.

This Sunday is Cock Talk’s 100th episode (a.k.a. BWF Radio) and two year anniversary? How did we do it? See, we skipped four weeks. TUNE IN!.

- As expected, Punk and Bryan rule the roost and carry the other two to a passable, competitive bout allowing all men to appear strong. It seems like all is on pace to set up our traditional Survivor Series match. Enter the Wyatts (shocking, I know). And you would expect this to mean that the Usos will come out to even the odds, right? BUT NO!!! The Wyatts instead attack Ryback and Perfect Jr. And this allows Punk and Bryan to sneak attack the Wyatts after visiting Hornswoggle’s home under the ring. So who the fuck knows what’s up. It certainly had nothing to do with R-Truth, slivers, or Marty McFly. Or did it?

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

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The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

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I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

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Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

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Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

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Cheap Heat

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WTF?

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

0 Heat Staff

http://www.wrestlenewz.com/?p=117035 2013-11-11T19:06:26Z 2013-11-11T17:47:48Z

As seen on Sunday night’s episode of Total Divas on E!, John Cena admitted to soiling himself once during a match. The WWE World Heavyweight Champion’s memory, however, appears a bit hazy. On the show, Cena’s girlfriend Nikki Bella informed him of Natalya urinating on herself during a match (against Naomi on July 1, 2013 [...]

The post Cena Reveals An Embarrassing Moment On “Total Divas” – Background On The Incident appeared first on Wrestle Newz .

As seen on Sunday night's episode of Total Divas on E!, John Cena admitted to soiling himself once during a match. The WWE World Heavyweight Champion's memory, however, appears a bit hazy.

On the show, Cena's girlfriend Nikki Bella informed him of Natalya urinating on herself during a match (against Naomi on July 1, 2013 at a WWE Superstars taping in Sioux City, Iowa). Rather than poke fun at the third-generation grappler's latest incident, Cena changed the subject by recalling a bowel movement mishap of his own.

"I pooped myself once," Cena told the former WWE Divas Champion. "I had to throw [my pants] away. It was in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, I had food poisoning and I still went out to wrestle. Everybody knew—I was embarrassed."

Cena has relayed the story in the past in radio interviews and to WWE Magazine . However, he told the publication in 2008 that the embarrassing incident took place in a different region of Canada.

"It was in Winnipeg, and I was wrestling Scott Steiner, with Bull Buchanan as my lackey," Cena said in response to a question asking him about the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to him in or out of the ring. "I got food poisoning and thought I wouldn't be able to wrestle, but went out there anyway. I took a DDT, rolled out and the time-keeper was there. I looked him in the eye and said, "Where do I puke?" And he said, "Under the ring." So I went under the ring and puked and everyone knew it. But as I was puking I crapped my pants. Luckily, it was at the end of the match, but nothing has ever topped that since."

It would appear that the incident actually took place in Jacksonville, Florida (on December 14, 2002). According to TheHistoryofWWE.com, Cena only faced Steiner once in 2002, and did not compete at the organization's lone events that year in Saskatoon and Winnipeg (which took place in late-May, before he was promoted to the main roster and Steiner re-joined WWE).

In a voice-over segment, Bella said that she couldn't be more disgusted by her boyfriend's embarrassing admission. "I don't know what to think right now—I guess I'm just thinking about s–t! That would be so embarrassing!"

The post Cena Reveals An Embarrassing Moment On "Total Divas" – Background On The Incident appeared first on Wrestle Newz .

http://www.wrestlenewz.com/wrestling/feed/

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42620 2013-11-11T18:09:02Z 2013-11-10T22:05:32Z

NWA World Jr. Heavyweight Champion Chase Owens

NWA World Junior Heavyweight Champion Chase Owens joins us for the first 30 minutes to talk about his amateur background, training with Ricky Morton, and his rivalry with Jason Kincaid. В Joe, G, Jorge, and Mark discuss NXT and the new web series, “But I’m Chris Jericho.” В In the news we hear more about Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards rumored signing with WWE. В Hulkarumors continue to spread. В AJ Styles has his first defense of the TNA World Title – in AAA in Mexico. В Cliff Compton threatens to “kill” Kevin Steen. В Iron Sheik challenges Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, and Brutus Beefcake gets removed from Toronto City Hall. В We hear more about the rumors of Billy Corgan trying to buy TNA. В All this, and much, much more on this week’s episode of BWF Radio!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 99 (MP3, 2:03:58)

Our break song this week was “Sun” by Carbon Maestro. В Unfortunately, I can’t find a link to buy this album.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42618 2013-11-09T08:06:48Z 2013-11-09T08:06:48Z

Hey look who is back. Just like Cena, I can’t stay away. The WWE has injured my brain, and you know what that means… Hopping time… “I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. […]

Hey look who is back. Just like Cena, I can’t stay away. The WWE has injured my brain, and you know what that means…

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Hopping time…

- The show opens with a psychedlic horror film package of The Wyatt Family’s attacks of late upon Punk and Bryan. It’s a pleasing start to a terrible night to have a curse. But I’ve waxed poetic upon the art of using one’s whip to transform a candlebra into holy water, health drops, or throwing knives. Simon Belmont was not booked tonight. The second player from Contra was, though.

- Punk enters into a hot arena, and demands that McMahon turns on the air conditioning. Speaking of old school Nintendo characters, Punk has “the angers” with the likes of Bayou Billy and his henchman on loan from Marvel Comics, Swamp Thing and Gambit of the X-Men. They keep jump-man-ing him and the fucking princess is in another castle. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS. Then Konnan’s favorite wrestler pops up on the TurnerTron, and challenges Punk to a mosh pit match!

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Boom.

- * Non-Title Mosh Pit Match: Curtis Axel {C} vs. CM Punk! Things start off intensely as the match morphs into a FROSH PIT MATCH! Axel goes Incognito and riles up the audience with racist slurs! Oh Noes! Actually, the two men are having a pretty physical contest, and Axel is seen limping around as Punk gets laid ~~out~~ , likely due to the explosion of his left testicle reported on “Cock Talk” a.k.a. BWF Radio, recently. It airs every Sunday DEAD to air on boredwrestlingfan.com and can also be downloaded via carrier pigeon on iTunes. HHH’s penis was reported to not be impressed backstage and called for a commercial break just after Punk screams, “It’s Clobbering Time!” This, of course, is code for handjob time, and that means HHH just fucked us all over. God damn shovel… Cocktalk, every Sunday…

- AND WE’RE BACK AND THE ANNOUNCERS TELL US THAT THIS SENTENCE IS COMPLETELY WRITTEN IN CAP LOCKS AND THE EXPLANATION FOR AS TO WHY (AND WHY THERE IS WHITE GOOEY GOO ALL OVER THE PLACE) CAN ONLY BE FOUND ON THE APP. We return and Axel has Punk in his sweet embrace, rubbing his ~~cock~~ elbow all over Punk’s face, because that hurts. To be fair this match is actually rather good, and both men do a good job. It’s just a shame we’ve seen it so many times before.

- Then I read that Cassius OH NO was released by the WWE from his NXT contract. Nutty. Batty. Chocolatey. Just a new flavor of Barrett Barrage energy Bars available soon. You, yes, you can taste the flavors of disappointment and unreached potential!

- Than Dat Wyatt Family music plays as a distraction. It doesn’t serve too well, as Punk still picks up the win. Crazy chuckling is heard post match, the lights dim, and creepy ol’ man Wyatt appears on the JumboTron smiles and blows ~~Luke Harper~~ out his Green Lantern Corps.

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Wait for it… wait for it…

- * The Usos and R-Truth vs. 3MB. Will the 3MB’s EVER perform their song? R-Truth does. It’s his usual one. I see this a purely a way to continue to elevate the Usos, and having Truth in the ring to add a little rubbing alcohol to their decension into alcoholism. Oh wait, the latter is me. 90% proof baby! Tastes like chicken. Truth hits his usual scissor kick spot and his modified chin breaker for a nearfall on Calgary’s own, the cowboy, Jinder Mahal! The other two non-Calgarian 3MB’s eat stereo suicide dives from the Usos allowing Truth to ultimately pin Jinder and his horse.

- * AJ and Tamina vs. Cameron and Naomi. TOTAL DIVAS RETURNS THIS SUNDAY! AJ cuts a little box within a box sarcasm spot about it. I won’t lie to you, I will watch this. And sadly, accordingly, I have to watch this match featuring Lady Tapout Energy Drinks and AJ Styles (the latter only appearing to wrestle in AAA on the Dixietron). It’s amazing what modern technology allows, hey? AJ almost submits the better of the two Funkatractors, Cameron, as “Clappy”, the the other Fuckingdactyl claps. Then Michelle McCool manages to tag in Candice Michelle, but AJ will have none of it, sucking her into the television like in that movie Polergeist. Maggots in the trashcan, I tell you, GET OUT! Then AJ comes out of the television like in that movie The Ring, and submits Clappy and celebrates with Big Sexy, Kevin Tamina. Good times, just like Little Joe had at Fall Camp where he finally defeated Mike Tyson AND Balrog in a Punch Out: Turbo Edition competition against Fred Savage’s little brother.

- BACKSTAGE! I interview Don “Jorge” King about Little Joe’s big win at Fall camp.

G: Don Jorge King, your client just picked up the biggest win of his career. How do you feel?
Jorge King: Much, much richer. My pockets have been lined with more gold than than a thin man at an all you can eat salad bar!
G: Right. And what advice did you give Little Joe before the big showdown.
Jorge King: Hit him in the grill. Wind up, eat the baby, and nail his sorry ass like a mesiah to the cross in the crotch.
Little Joe: I punched him in the George Foreman.
G: Isn’t the grill refer to the teeth? Shouldn’t you have told him to go all Isaac Yankem on his opponent?
Jorge King: We roll, we win, we get paid.
Little Joe: We get paid? I just kicked him in the nuts like you said.
Jorge King: What the man means, is yes.
G: Just like how he beat King Brodus?
Jorge King: Right in the recently removed naval piercing!
G: I believe the naval has nothing to do with his genitallia.
Little Joe: I like to punch people. Mama said it’s like making scrambled eggs that you can’t eat, and you don’t have to clean up after because the pan forgets everything about making breakfast.
Jorge King: We’ll get your mugshot on the cover of Sports Illustrated just yet, champ.
G: Thanks gentlemen, back to you, me, in the studio. For G’s imagination, this is G. Back to you G!

- “Thanks G!” I say to my disabled webcam that no longer works due to a Little Joe’s previous match.

@Charles Barkley @G: “Don’t be fooled by JT’s attempt to script us to be friends again. That was a Halloween special. I’m bringing a friend over…”

@G @Charles Barkley @randomredhead: “I will fuck up both of your guys shit. When you get here, make sure you both step on the front step matt labelled, “not a hole”. OK?”

- ADR comes out and calls the audience a bunch of pinkos or Andy Warhols or something. John Cena is a thief, who stole ADR’s car, ate some Mexican food and had explosive diarrhea in the car. Then Cena put a hit out on Santa that we can collect on by calling 1(900)KILLOPTIMUSPRIME. I swear he said that. JT is seen in the audience holding up ThatDamnDoubleC’s broken penis which has a piercing and a tattoo on it that says, “Boss, zee plane!” Odd. Job time, it’s John Cena! He’s a gangster again! He’s a bad, bad, man! :/ Cena does one of his typical rants. It’s mildly entertaining if you like this stuff. Cena calls ADR from his own 900 number and asks for tonight’s match to be the title rematch. ADR agrees.

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Hey! Environmental damage!

- Smackdown GM, MILF Lisa Ann, cums down the entrance ramp and two camera men fall suffering career ending injuries. She continues to squirt about that we already got the Punk on Axel action for free on the topical cream application earlier, and that this showdown will only be available to Brazzer’s subscribers on the next live stream only available at their website (and Pornhub.com, and Fapdu.com, and on The Pirate’s Bay, and….).

- Best for business prevails, and Vickie denies the rematch. To the chagrin of both men, our next match begins as a cloud of dust EXPLODES into the arena killing all of the show’s momentum. Rob Ford enters as his manager, handing out bags of crack and players from the Buffalo Bills as…

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Brilliant!

- * Alberto Del Rio vs. The Mediocre Khali. R.I.P. Roland Alexander who hovers at ringside with the Ghost of Teddy Long. Roland had to pay lots of money for Khali’s blunders that led to another man’s death. Maybe Roland will Booker-T into a match with the fallen trainee versus Khali? Long suggests a tagteam match, and Roland just stares at Long angrily as Jim Cornette’s ghost appears backstage and slaps Santino Marella again for no reason. Mike Adamle has a sad. What? This match is terrible. ADR does his best to hide Khali’s immobility, but that’s an impossible task. Micheal Cole calls the match “solid.” I try shoving Immodium and Pepto-Abysmal into my USB drive because Cole’s lies gave me the running shits. Then I create a Kickstarter for G to purchase a new laptop. FFW. Save yourself time, people. Just writing Meh killed more braincells than Little Joe killed at Fallcamp against Mark Noyce in a warm up match. I think that happened, I can’t remember. Chris Nowinski stops by. ADR wins.

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This is the best representation of the IWC I could find.

- I’m interviewed by BBC correspondent, Mark Noyce, backstage…

Mark: G, can I get a moment of your time?
G: I… sure. It’s got to be quick, I have to go interview you.
Mark: What’s your comments on your recent interview with Little Joe and Don “Jorge” King.
G: They’re people.
Mark: And by people, what you mean? I don’t work for the BBC, that’s kind of racist.
G: Soylent Green. It’s also people. I’m Canadian. We hate Americans. We burnt down their White House once because we’re also racists.
Mark: But Canada was settled by Europeans who were white as well, I don’t understand. Don’t all of you smoke crack now?
G: See, that was this mayor dude from Tyranny, otherwise known as Toronto. Everyone else in Canada hates that city. That’s where Scott lives, buddy.
Mark (Take a deep breath, if you laugh, just stop and breathe, dude): I was under the impression that all Canadians rode polar bears or orca’s with a lance of ice. They got by day to day with a lunch pail filled with maple syrup and beaver flesh. They all are in the NHL, and enjoy Walrus Blubber snacks at 10 AM every day. 10 AM, of course, is a part of the metric system. That means it doesn’t exist outside of ‘Murica, rather just in the nether regions of a wintry hell where sled dog taxis rule the dichotomy of politics. A place where a fat man is considered a smart man, as he can live off his blubber like a walrus or grizzly bear. A place where people with the last name Hart or Gretzky is legendary and an ice statue will survive an eternity. All people smoke crack and…
G: That’s Toronto, dude. Rob Ford is the mayor of Toronto, not Canada.
Mark: I’ve only heard of Rob Ford.
G: All the rest of that was true. Also, we use maple syrup in I.V.’s to recover. Also, hockey is not actually our national sport. It’s Lacrosse.
Mark: What’s Lacrosse?
G: It’s like Shirling as depicted on the CBC classic, “Kid’s in the Hall”.
Mark: The fuck.
G: Look it up, this interview is over.
Mark: This was your interview.
G: Roddy Piper is Canadian.

- And with that, I sneak former PM Tony Blair into Buckingham Palace and staple old-people-face to his kind of already old-people-face. No one notices. I actually did this in 2008. Well… you could “say” I did this.

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Solid play!

- * Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper. Hey, hey, Bryan is up against the man who “retired” Cassius Ohno on NXT this week. Harper is ok, but I hope he saves him American pennies. Since he made his name from the province of Toronto… being Ontario, Canada… which technically is in Canada (but fuck the Rob Ford, break his back, make humble), we don’t use pennies up here any more. It’s up to us Inspector Gadgets to solve our own special operation missions. Brain was put to sleep by CM Punk. Yes, CM Punk murdered that cartoon dog. Harper is from New York State. technically, and Bryan does his best to have a technical match with the hoss. Wyatt watches a decent multi-segment match with Rowan.. but eventually Harper taps to a YES! Lock as Bryan goes over. Post match Punk runs in the fend off Rowan and Harper and set up the PPV program. FFW if you can.

- The RAW recap package airs where Big Show gets the handicap thing. Roman Reigns might be living with a hernia from that terrible looking move. It was weird, Al… Creed. Shout out. WWE App, etc…. yawn.

- Bella’s sell WWE shit. Cole talks red-tie-Kanes with HHH hashtag: seat-filler,

- * Non-Title Match: John Cena {C} vs. Ryback. Are we supposed to give a fuck about this? I don’t. I’ll watch it… you shouldn’t. You know what happens. LOL, CENA WINS, but he doesn’t because of match interference as there is 30 minutes left. Most of this is terrible. Charles Barkley drops by, and we pretend it’s still Halloween so we can both use that adjective. This match is full of drawn out rest holds and minor power moves for way too long. While the booking has been questionable, this main event was not worth anyone’s time. Cena wins. ADR runs out post match and works the injured elbow. Quotation marks, smarks, because super-Cena, et cetera.

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SHO-RYU-KEN!

- I spoke with Jorge and Joe on facebook this week. Both of them were Rob Fords, but you already knew that. Seriously, though, I love them both. Turns out my BWF Radio streak is likely to be 100 episodes. So the rest the the BWF can fuck themselves. Beat that, jerks. So I sent them this: “And you tried to beat my streak, Jorge. Mr. One Hundred laughs at your Giant Gonzalez. He laughs and laughs, until he has a seizure and is helped by EMT’s. Then he laughs and laughs again, so they revive him a second time. Sadly, he continues the process a third time while the paramedic’s walk away in disgust. G’s tombstone simply has the number “100″ placed upon it. G’s body is mummified and placed on display at Niagra Fall’s Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum as the man who actually showed up 100 weeks in a row.
Cock Talk.
See you Sunday, assholes.”

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

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The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

———————————————————-

I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

———————————————————–

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

———————————————————-

This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

———————————————————–

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Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

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Cheap Heat

———————————————————-

WTF?

———————————————————–

———————————————————-

Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42616 2013-11-03T21:47:39Z 2013-11-03T21:47:39Z

Oh Shell Yeah!

If you’re ready for this week’s BoredWrestlingFan Radio, gimme a shell yeah! В Joe, JT, G, Jorge, and Mark are joined by the one and only Shark Boy to kick off the second half of the show. В We get the origin story of our favorite aquatic super hero, find out what he’s been up to lately, and learn how you can be trained by Shark Boy himself. В We learn how Shark Boy went Stone Cold, and Steve Austin’s thoughts on the gimmick. В All this and much more with Shark Boy!

But first, Joe recaps RAW, we play each other’s characters on SmackDown, and we talk about the highlights of this week’s Impact Wrestling. В We get a highlight package from the interview Joe conducted with Diamond Dallas Page this past week, and discuss the follies of Joe’s past interviews.

In the news, we find out why WWE stock has gone up, and what the injury to Curtis Axel is (according to That Damn Double C). В We find out what the already mustachioed Iron Sheik is doing for No-Shave November. В And we get news on the future for Roman Reigns, plus much, much more. В Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 98 (MP3, 2:03:34)

0 GuysNation http://www.GuysNation.com

http://www.guysnation.com/?p=24139 2013-11-11T18:40:39Z 2013-11-02T03:40:02Z

Here’s a run-down of what transpired on the November 1st, 2013 edition of WWE Smackdown and some corresponding analysis. The Real Americans Confronted World Heavyweight Champion John Cena The first few lines of Cena’s promo basically rehashed what he said on Raw, and does it seem like Cena is trying to talk black to anyone [...]

Here's a run-down of what transpired on the November 1st, 2013 edition of WWE Smackdown and some corresponding analysis. SD_741_Photo_005
The Real Americans Confronted World Heavyweight Champion John Cena

The first few lines of Cena's promo basically rehashed what he said on Raw, and does it seem like Cena is trying to talk black to anyone else? He did it when he was the Doctor of the Thuganomics a decade ago, but now it comes off as phony with his character. I had high hopes for Cena's confrontation with The Real Americans, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't take them seriously whatsoever. Granted, I chuckled at Cena's Back to the Future reference toward Jack Swagger, but everything else about this segment was a train wreck. Damien Sandow's promo was great and losing the world title match on Monday has seemed to have benefit him more than if he had won. Cody Rhodes and Goldust making the save set up the main event tag team match nicely.

The Usos def. United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

I liked the logic behind this match that The Shield was looking to end their rivalry with The Usos once and for all. Whether this was indeed the culmination of the feud between the two teams remains to be seen, but this was a very fun match to kick off the show. It isn't often we get to see Ambrose and Rollins team up without Roman Reigns, so that certainly made for an interesting dynamic. Big E Langston was a nice counterpart to Reigns as ringside and a future match between them was seemingly foreshadowed. Ambrose and Rollins holding Reigns back after the match was intriguing, and it might have been planting the seeds for the Reigns babyface turn which has been heavily rumored as of late.

Luke Harper and Erik Rowan def. The Prime Time Players

This was a nice tag team bout that went longer than I expected it to, which isn't a bad thing at all. If anything, it was a good thing, as The Wyatt Family didn't completely squash The Prime Time Players, who were able to score some offense before ultimately coming up short. The live crowd was hoping to see CM Punk and/or Daniel Bryan make the save during the post-match, but no such luck. Bray Wyatt's promos are still awesome as ever and I highly anticipate his pending program with Bryan and Punk.

SD_741_Photo_067

Randy Orton Crashed "Miz TV" Perhaps this is just bias on my part given the fact that I am a fan of Miz, but I can't help but feel for the guy. He has been highly underutilized for the longest time now and even Orton blatantly spoke out about how no one cares about him, which is a massive shame. To add injury to insult, Orton finished him off with an RKO before he could even get a word in. By this point, it appears Miz either has heat with management or they simply couldn't care less about him, or both. Either way, it is disappointing to see Miz being relegated to WWE's resident whipping boy.

Natalya and The Bella Twins def. Divas Champion AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka and Alicia Fox

The match wasn't as long as I hoped it would be, but everyone was able to get involved and it thankfully wasn't over within a blink of an eye. As stated in my Raw review from this week, I have no intention of seeing Brie Bella contend for the title again any time soon, so I was glad to see Natalya pick up the win over her team here. She never received that title shot she rightfully deserved a few months ago, so I would be willing to bet that we see her contend for the gold against AJ at Survivor Series, which has the potential to be great.

World Heavyweight Champion John Cena and WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust def. Damien Sandow and The Real Americans

I was pleasantly surprised by just how much time this match ended up receiving and I enjoyed every minute of it. The crowd appeared to be into the action the entire time and the combatants built toward the hot tags from the face team very well. Every competitor was able to shine one way or another, and the finishing sequence was extremely exciting. Cena going over doesn't shock me, but there was no need for him to go over anyway. Sandow and The Real Americans looked strong in defeat while the tag team champions avenged their loss from Raw. In essence, everyone involved benefited from the bout in some form or fashion.

Overall Show This was a great show that was very wrestling-heavy with very little filler, if any at all. Even the talking segments we did get served their purpose, as Cena's promo set up the main event and "Miz TV" (albeit somewhat pointless) furthered the feud between Randy Orton and Big Show. Without a doubt, this was one of the best episodes of SmackDown in weeks and was a great fallout show from Hell in a Cell. It was also heavily focused on tag teams, which was a refreshing change of pace. I wouldn't miss out on watching this show in its entirety, but if you have time for only one match, definitely check out the strong six-man tag team match in the main event.

http://www.guysnation.com/category/pro_wrestling/feed

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42613 2013-10-27T21:13:28Z 2013-10-27T21:13:28Z

Let’s go Vacant!

This week, Joe, JT, G, Jorge, and Mark talk about the new WWE2K14 video game – and it turns into a 30 minute rant about video games, consoles, downloadable content, and bug fixes. В We get into the WWE Hell In A Cell Pay Per View, giving our picks, including Mark’s very serious pick that Joe will win the CM Punk vs. Ryback/Heyman match. В That Damn Double C infiltrates the news with references to different individuals penises. В Triple H is praised. В Or has heat. В Or something like that. В Eric Bischoff may or may not be gone from TNA. В Sunny wants you to pay her to talk on the phone. В Jim Ross doesn’t understand the product anymore – and quite frankly, neither do we. В All this, and G pulling for Vacant at tonight’s PPV, on BWF Radio Episode 97. В Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 97 (MP3, 2:20:42)

This week’s break song was “Go To Hell” by Alice Cooper. В Buy it here !

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42611 2013-10-21T03:48:05Z 2013-10-21T03:48:05Z

TNA Bound For Glory is this evening from San Diego, CA, and the BoredWrestlingFan Radio crew are joined by Topher Epps of ProWrestlingPowerhouse.com to talk not only about tonight’s event, but the history of TNA Wrestling in general. В We talk about the original concept for the Monster’s Ball match, the days of the Asylum, the Impact Zone, the ill fated new Monday Night Wars and so much more. В We also give our predictions for tonight’s Bound For Glory card. In the news, Bray Wyatt is injured, Rey Mysterio returns, and John Cena’s upcoming television dates for WWE are confirmed. В It’s Morphin’ Time as Jason David Frank of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers fame calls out CM Punk and NXT star Xavier Woods looks to be called up to the main roster. В We get wind of where Ric Flair has been lately, and it’s apparently the same place Kurt Angle’s been hanging out while he was briefly away from TNA. В Doc Knight joins us to plug tonight’s OSW event in Alberta. All this and a whole lot more on this week’s episode of BoredWrestlingFan Radio! BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 96 (MP3, 2:28:42) This week’s break song was “Money City Maniacs” by Sloan. В Buy it here !

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42608 2013-10-19T06:43:43Z 2013-10-19T06:43:43Z

I’m already disinterested. Let’s see if the WWE changes my attitude, shall we? Hopping time… Dat RAW Review? Dat thing sucks. It hus roned mah spullen. - A video recap from RAW airs showing the Rhodes Bro’s winning the tag titles from The Shield with a little help from The Big Show. - Brad Maddox […]

I’m already disinterested. Let’s see if the WWE changes my attitude, shall we?

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Hopping time…

Dat RAW Review? Dat thing sucks. It hus roned mah spullen.

- A video recap from RAW airs showing the Rhodes Bro’s winning the tag titles from The Shield with a little help from The Big Show.

- Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero kick off the show. SHRIEK TIME! The ring ropes remain pink and white, therefore:

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IT’S STILL A FUCKING COLOR! BE SAVVY!

- Maddox’s job tonight is to ensure that Big Show doesn’t trespass, and he has employed a bunch of security. So Big Show will of course show up. Vickie says something, etc.

- Daniel Bryan’s music hits before the General Motors can leave Detroit, and he’s here to shut down the government of Canada, buddy. The crowd chants’ “Oui!”. Actually, he’s here to offer his assistance. Bryan notes that Big Show has already breached security, and his music plays as a joke on the GMs. But who IS here, is our new tag team champs. Vickie is annoyed, so she Booker-T’s the three faces into a match against The Shield as our main event. I’m cool with that.

@Charles Barkley @G: “Chuck forgets nothing, G. I am punishing you with a TNA PPV this weekend. #Revenge”

@G @Charles Barkley: “As are we, on BWF Radio this Sunday @2PM EST.”

- * The Wyatt Family (w/ Deeply Bruised Bray) vs. Kofi Kingston & The Miz (w/ Vacant). This doesn’t look like something that will be thrilling. Coffee is wearing some heinous bright red pants with green somethings on them. I keep thinking about Christmas wrapping paper. Then Kofi jumps from the top rope with no observable attempt at a move into Harper’s big boot. Fascinating. The Wyatts are supposed to be murdering these guys and hiding their bodies in some bayou or something. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MURDERING? They still crush the faces, with Harper landing a 360 clothesline on Kofi for the pin. Post match, Bray cuts a creepy rant about being the “hammer” that everybody fears, and making comparisons to them being the nails. I just was hoping he was going to murder them, like in the plan.

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I love Halloween!

- * Non-Title Match: AJ Lee {C} vs. Brie Bella. THRILLING! SIGN ME UP. Didn’t we basically just see this every week since the dawn of time? And it’s non-title, so we’ll get it again at Hell in the Cell! Brie has a bandaged up shoulder because she fucking sucks. Tamina is at ringside to protect AJ for whatever unexplained reason she has been doing this. I notice a small flying object outside my apartment window. Very small aliens get out and begin to speak to me. They say that they are hear to save the human race with a cure for Susan Kohman. They can bring world peace and end famine. They also have technology to prevent the dissemination of hate and discrimination. “Sounds pretty cool,” I say, “And being the ambassador of planet Earth, on behalf of us all, thank you!”. The leader alien just stares at blankly. “What?” I ask. More blank stares. He/she/it gets into their ship along with the others and they fly away. I think I fucked up, guys. I think I fucked up real bad. Oh, Brie Bella won somehow.

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Shitty timing?

- Big Show interrupts Lillian Garcia rocking his pink WWE merch (which he wouldn’t receive royalties for, if he was legit fired… so that makes sense). He gets the microphone and talks about this online petition Xavier Woods started to get him his job back. Brad Maddox and Vickie come out, and both flip out about him starting his own personal invasion angle. Show has nothing, and has that much to lose, so he K.O.’s Maddox. That was actually a pretty convincing looking worked punch. Brad took one for the team there. See, HHH doesn’t work Tuesdays. Remember that joke? Me neither.

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Only high-fives people when he’s on the kayfabe payroll.

- * CM Punk vs. Big E. Langston. Why? I don’t know. Big E. “Mr. Cocaine Hands” Smalls makes his way out, and Punk informs the referee he is straight edge and demands Big E washes his hands. A wash basin is brought out by a small band of misfit rogues wearing pink togas chanting about Ivory. We haven’t seen her in the WWE for like a decade.

- Anyway, the match is given a double segment, and honestly isn’t god awful. Punk certainly is carrying the match, but Langston does seem to be improving. Langston seems to have added a half-boston-crab to his repertoire. What I really took away from this match, is that Biggie Langston is about the same height as Punk, just much more inflated. Punk wins clean.

- Post match, Heyman, Ryback and Mr. Perfect’s kid appear at the top of the ramp and do their thing. It’s the same thing again. Great as always, but it’s just gone on WAY too long. Punk notes the stip of the PPV match being Ryback and Heyman locked in the cell with him, and, etc. Then the three come down to take out Punk, BUT NO! Heyman weasels away. Then Biggie Langston comes to Punk’s aid to even the odds. So we’ll see them tag on Monday? Yeah, probably.

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Damn right.

- ADR makes his way out… Yawn. Not into this tonight. I check the mail, and see a flyer for BWF Radio Theatre. It’s still on hiatus, but will return probably before the end of the month. I’m taking a break as we do some special BWF Radio episodes we had planned. Seems like the best time to do that… anyways, tune in this Sunday for a TNA Bound For Glory special, and a tribute to TNA/Impact through the years. We should have at least one special guest IWC person on as well. Back to Smackdown as I truly am feeling the suffering tonight…

- ADR is waving a Mexican flag in the ring, because being proud of your non-’Murican heritage makes you a heel in an immigrant-based county, right? Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are seen in the audience dressed entirely in pink. Volkoff holding up a sign that says, “Free Nail Yakupov” while Sheik is anally raping a humble quadriplegic. A naked ThinkSoJoE streaks through the ring with Buffalo Sabres’ facepaint shouting something about the Bills being from Toronto. Hell, even ThatDamnDoubleC is sighted in full Outback Jack costume. He thought it was Gene Snitzky’s fault, after all. I am immediately traded to the San Jose Sharks for Tomas Hertl. Good times. I had Taco Bell last night. It was shitacular.

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KTHX HEYZEUS.

- Josh “One ‘T’” Mathews is here to interview ADR about the returning substance abusing John Cena (or from the lying assholes at WWE about his actually injury status). ADR claims he is going to win, of course. ADR should fake a fatal illness and Make-A-Wish NOT to meet John Cena. I’d mark out for that. ADR then puts Josh in an arm-breaker-Barrett-Barrage-Energy-Bar. Wade is pissed about this gimmick infringement.

- Then Josh Mathews then interviews Vacant. Vacant tells the crowd that in Hell in the Cell, Shaun Micheals has a personal vendetta against him/her/it. Vacant defeated HBK back in the late nineties for HBK’s smile, and has held a grudge about it ever since. But Vacant will still prevail by defeating both Daniel Bryan and Randall Keith Orton to retain their WWE title. Vacant then turns to face the camera and notes, “The reason Cena is returning to face Alberto Del Rio is not because he’s scared. But he should be. The reason is, is that Cena can’t see me!” Josh Mathews looks confused, then notes, “Nobody can see you. You don’t exist!” Vacant spin’s upon it’s heel and opens a vortex to an ethereal hellish dystopian nightmare, a place where every day is the same… it’s called the WWE Universe. GOD DAMN ADVANCE SOME STORIES! I crawl into a small hole and punch Punxsutawney Phil in the face repeatedly screaming, “THIS IS FOR BILL MURRAY!” to no one in particular.

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MORPHING TIME!

- * The Real Americans (w/ Track 10 off of Nirvana’s “Bleach” album) vs. The Usos (w/ The entire Island of Samoa). Paul MacLean joins commentary. We get our swing segment in early on a random Uso, as it’s just a distracting debate on commentary about immigrants. Volkoff tries to attack the commentary booth, but is ejaculated from the arena (Cocktalk, every Sunday on BWF Radio, 2PM EST). Sheik holds up a sign in the audience asking “Where’s J.T.? I want to humble him”. OLE! Out comes El Generico, or El Generico Mexicano (actually Peurto Rico) to interrupt the match like a bunch of Canadian border jumpers. This is just pure silliness. I won’t lie to you, though. It’s kind of fun. El Torito heads for the border and kicks Paul MacLean straight in the nutsack. This distraction allows The Uso Clones to hit their finishers or something on Jacked-off-by-Volkoff Swagger for the pin, win, and happy ending.

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Like I said, nerds, I love Halloween!

- * Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. The Shield. This match should be solid, and after the plethora of entrances… oh shit, they gave Orton the microphone. Orton attempts to talk about things. “Way over your head” is his special phrase in this. The WWE staff are seen handing out pillows to the audience. Does anyone else every wonder if the “I hear voices in my head…” line in Orton’s theme song is just a rib on the announcers who have to deal with Vince screaming at them in their headphones during the show? Just curious…

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That explains it.

- After we return from advertisements for “P.A.G.” (The People Against G) due to my accidentally ruining positive change in the world for permanently deafening the miniscule alien visitors with my giant voice, our match gets under way. I send… umm… “someone” back in time to correct this problem. He better not fuck it up…

- And we’re back! Well we were already back, but I digress… I just watched this match. Hot Fudge Sundae, I’ll tell you what, Bobby. I’m lactose intolerant, fuck that, I’m a straight up milk racist. Regardless, this match was pretty fun to watch. It’s rather chaotic, and after a shmozz, Bryan lands The MTBJC on Ambrose to win clean and pick up the win. I don’t like Ambrose jobbing clean here, but it is what it is. Outside of that, solid main event.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

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The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

———————————————————-

I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

———————————————————–

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

———————————————————-

This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

———————————————————–

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

Logo
Cheap Heat

———————————————————-

WTF?

———————————————————–

———————————————————-

Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42606 2013-10-13T20:50:05Z 2013-10-13T20:50:05Z

If by “fun one” you mean “train wreck.” We’ll figure it out and get him on, folks!

A disastrous episode of BoredWrestlingFan Radio is in the books! В Joe, JT, G, Jorge, and Mark В discuss the WWE Battleground Pay Per View, and gloss over the rest of the week in wrestling television. В We find out why Stephanie McMahon has been selling a ton of stock in WWE over the last several months. В We hear reports that Vince McMahon is paranoid about WrestleMania XXX. В Who was thatВ other masked man on SmackDown? В Where will Hulk Hogan appear next? В Why won’t we likely see Ken Shamrock in WWE anytime soon?

After our break song, we attempt to contact our scheduled guest for this week, Diamond Dallas Page. В Unfortunately, we aren’t able to get in touch with him. В G, Jorge, and JT make idle conversation while Joe scrambles to contactВ anybody that can let us know what’s going on. В Eventually, Original Stampede Wrestling’s Doc Knight joins us to give us an update on his recovery from his back injury, and lets us know what’s coming up for OSW.

We apologize for not being able to connect with DDP on this week’s show. В These things occasionally happen on live broadcasts. В We are working diligently to find out what happened, and we will let you guys know as soon as we know via our Twitter and Facebook pages.

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 95 (MP3, 2:02:24)

Our break song this week was “Hunger Strike” by Temple of the Dog. В Buy it here !

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42604 2013-10-12T07:17:33Z 2013-10-12T07:17:33Z

I’m probably going to get heat for saying, “I told you so.” That’s right, on BWF Radio last Sunday (2PM EST), I mentioned that the main event would be a draw, as did a bunch of other people including ThinkSoJoE. Was it worth $55? No. Do you deserve a refund for consuming the whole thing? I’d argue no, but that was a pretty shitty PPV. I actually kind of liked that ending, because it was different. And this is coming from a guy who paid the full price for the 2006 December to Dismember.

BTW, the Rhodes Family match was great. It’s a shame it was rushed over a three-week period, but whatever. At least it was cool.

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Hopping time…

“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. And as J.T. Hogan has observed, it often makes more sense than the program you are actually watching. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question. I heard the RAW review took a giant dook and left it in your bed. Sleep tight!

- No BWF Theatre this week. It’ll return probably in a couple weeks. We’ve got a special guest on BWF Radio this week booked with DDP. And the following week, we will have another guest on to discuss TNA’s Bound For Glory as well as all the changes that company has been going through over the last 6 months or so. We return you now to your regularly scheduled Smackdown review already in progress.

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People be trolling wikipedia again!.

- We re-watch all The Big Show stuff from RAW.

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I hope that resolves the issue people have with the Big Show’s WMD.

- The ropes of the ring are still white and pink because…

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Pink awareness month!

- Enter the Vickie Guerrero who had received the stink-scarf of ADR on RAW. But you see, Vickie is a much bigger fan of visual stimuli over scent stimuli, so she is bringing John Cena back from steroid-habbing from surgery. Guerrero is thrilled about Big Show being fired, and now his house is up for sale. ADR interrupts… He wants the match with Cena nulled, and all he has to do is kiss Vickie on the lips. Vickie almost corpses here, and on his third try ADR goes all in. Then Vickie wants her ass kissed, metaphorically. So even after workplace sexual harassment, ADR is fucked.

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Best champion ever.

- Enter our intellectual savior, who tells us ADR is a phony who thinks he can manipulate Vickie. Sandow continues noting ADR would freak out if she let Sandow cash in his briefcase. Sandow is clearly turning face a wee bit here, and the two are Booker-T’d into a match tonight. Naturally, ADR attacks Sandow to end the segment, but only angers the intellectual Bruce Banner, and you know what happens when you make him angry. He chases you with his briefcase! HULK ATTACHE (Case)!!!!

@Charles Barkley @G: “Remember that twenty dollars you set aside for pizza this evening? I stole it… guess what I bought? #revenge”

@G @Charles Barkley @randomredhead: “JT, you owe me a new basketball legend. And a pizza, dammit.”

- Did you know The WWE App has been downloaded 8,000,000 times? That means only really stupid people who need us to walk them through how to do it every week until the end of time. The main event at Hell in the Cell this year will be Jerry Lawler vs iTunes Store!

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You better have marked out for this.

- * IC Title Match: Curtis Axel {C} vs. R Truth (Just Because Match). Axel should always defend the I.C. title in every singles match. So right off the bat, this gets a bonus point from me. Note to self: invent meaningless point system to evaluate subject material. This match seems pretty good and garners my attention. Truth almost picks up the win, but Axel breaks the pin by grabbing the white rope, because you know, Dental Floss awareness month! Heyman channels his superior managerial skills and leads his agent to victory in a successful title defense. I give this match a Maple-Syrup-Coated-Ceaver out of Don Cherry. That’s a pretty high score!

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Do you even fear, brah?

- * Los Matadors vs. Los Locales (a.k.a. Ricardo Rodriguez and Tyson Kidd). The Los Locales do not get entrances, and are jabronis to say the least. But at least Tyson Kid is back and Ricardo earned a paycheck. The Mole makes his way out with the Colons, and I think my pal Al Creed is correct. We WILL see El Torito at WMXXX (maybe scrapping with a heel Hornswoggle by that point). Will we see Los Matadors? J.T. is seen in a retirement home, holding up a sign which reads, “What’s a wrestling?”. He has gotten very senile in his retirement. Jorge and Joe are visiting him there this week, hence the lack of an appearance. This match is fun, and not terrible if you can accept the idea of some lucha style comedy on the show. I’m down, but understand why many of the IWC is all “complainy-pants” about Los Matadors. Seriously, I’m the guy who enjoyed Brodus Clay’s gimmick from start to present. Los Matadors of course win with their unnamed finishing move and pin El Locale Then El Torito takes all the credit by hitting a hurricanrana on Tyson Kid.

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Fuck “Even Flow”. Even though I made that Break-song on BWF Radio one time. Y2J killls the Raven, everytime.

- * Cameron, Naomi, and Brie Bella (w/ Random Bella) vs. Kaitlyn, Eva Marie, and Natalya (w/Jojo). Oh snap. I watched this. It happened. It’s only here for Total Divas stuff later. Eva Marie is terrible. Naomi picks up some bullshit roll up win on Kathleen Turner.

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I hope they pair Mojo with Jojo. They can have a Yoyo gimmick.

- Pekka Rinne interviews Goldust and Cody Rhodes backstage. They are all super excited to have jobs again. I kind of wish the fired angle went on until HitC, but it ended being the best part of last Sunday’s PPV. It was totally worth the price. Winky face emoticon. That means I ~~streamed it~~ err ~~paid for it legitimately on one of those illegal streaming sites~~ paid for it? Yeah, that’s the one that won’t get boredwrestlingfan.com in trouble. Spent money. Canadian Tire money.

- That R-Truth devil possession ad airs. He’s possessed by the ghost of the Ryback-Pink-Eye gimmick. It is pink awareness month, you know. Pink is a color. I’m told we’re all pink on the inside. I’ve attempted to prove this theory multiples times, and all it got me was a multi-million dollar deal to license to sell my lifestory to the creators of the now defunct show Dexter. Now that the show has ended, I can comment about this. The last season and finale were not based on me, though. My story continues to this day.

- * Non-Title Match: Alberto Del Rio {C} vs. Damien Sandow. This match is our mid-hour bout. So you know it’ll go for a while. Again, I can’t complain. I enjoy both of these guys in-ring work, albeit they have not been booked in the most ideal way. The two trade spots for the first half, which is good since it puts the two at a more even level as wrestlers. A neat moment has the two outside in which ADR goes to grab the briefcase forgetting it’s handcuffed to the ringpost. I’m kind of too tired to ramble on, and just succumb to what is a really enjoyable match. After a number of near-falls, Sandow ultimately submits to an armbar as the champion goes on to retain. Overall, this works. ADR should face Cena, but it was no easy task winning, hence making Sandow look good.

- More Big Show crap, then we get some Good Morning America clip crap with John Cena and Pink Awareness month. IT’S A COLOUR! In Canada we spell “colour” with a “u” because we’re fucking inclusive. It’s filmed in front of a Toys ‘R Us, and I can see a slightly-used-Bella doll in the main window with a sign stating “Heavily Used, Inquire Within.” Misogynistic you say? Have you Cena his house? No way the plastic twin is taking that shit from him. Hashtag fire the injured one.

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Do they hand out cards for that in soccer?

- Seeing that I’ve been doing my laundry, and drinking, and it’s late, it’s about this time I start to get surly. Oh look. The Mediocre Khali is booked in a match. This will not end well.

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Watch that spit fly…

- * 3MB vs. Broken Khali and the Prime Time Players. It’s funny, someone went from Mediocre to Broken during a commercial break. He’s the new plastic Bella. Fuck. Drew McIntyre is out here too, so those reports about him being repackaged and whatnot might be moleshit. FEAR THE MOLE, JILLIAN HALL! FEAR IT! DRY ICE IN A STAFF MOTHERFUCKER! But I digress. This match was short, it wasn’t much to write home to Fall Camp about. Everyone does a little dancing, but Heath Slater’s foolishness leads to Khali getting a hot Yoga tag from Titcancer O’Neil and karate chops Slater back to Guitar Hero 1. Knee dust every where with the pin. I’m tired, go bye bye now. I use my non-existent time-travelling, teleportation, reality altering, cloning device (that doesn’t exist… shhh…..) to kick the baby from that ABC Dinosaur’s show AGAIN into the crowd in honor of both Gene Snitzky and more importantly Kyle Broflovski. Everyone wins. Even Claire Lynch.

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As logical as the Chewbacca argument on that South Park episode. What a smug bastard of a bear.

- * Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Wyatt Family (Harper and Rowan). I’m not sure where I stand on this. The Wyatt Family is not Bray, so that’s good. They are the henchmen, but this goes against the whole subversive thing. Bray cuts a sick promo about his two henchmen going into this one… we shall see. Let’s be honest kids. Rowan sucks. But Goldust makes him seem passable. The match is kind of slow, and I’m kind of drunk, and it’s like fucking late. Bray guffaws in his rocking chair, and no one comes a-knocking to maintain said rhythmic flow of the chair. Cody gets the two Family members to the outside and attacks them from above, and Bray almost leaves his chair until Luke kicks the fuck out of said Cody. Cody spider-monkey’s his way into a pin on Luke with a rollup pin. Bray is up and out of his chair, but it doesn’t matter. This match was kind of a mistake, looking back at it now. No one winning helps either. I wonder if Kane has a 3 and a half foot penis in Cena Evil 2?

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Bray Wyatt has crabs. It’s curable, though.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

———————————————————-

I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

———————————————————–

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

———————————————————-

This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

———————————————————–

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

Logo
Cheap Heat

———————————————————-

WTF?

———————————————————–

———————————————————-

Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

1 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42601 2013-10-05T07:03:37Z 2013-10-05T07:03:37Z

Once again we find ourselves at the door of another WWE PPV, like a girl scout hoping the person answering will buy some cookies, only to have the door open and said cookies snatched from our hands by some god damned cookie stealing motherfucker. That’s right, the WWE wants you $55 and they for some reason think you’re a stalwart little trooper. But let’s face it folks, your the god damned cookie thief, aren’t you? Admit it. Why should you pay for this? What have they done over the last three weeks to entice you? The Rhodes getting fired thing might be all you can come up with. Maybe tonight’s Smackdown will change that… but let’s face it. THERE WILL BE NO COOKIES. ONLY PAIN. Join me, shall you?

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Hopping time!

Why is this even here? Why do I do this to myself? Why does The RAW review suck so much? There’s no answers. Just escaped Barkleys. I tried to save you all, and now we are all DOOMED. Shit. I hope you guys like fires.

- The Big Show comes in the ring (and cries, only diluting his semen deposit. BWF Radio, every Sunday @2PM EST). The gooey mess seeps down to the production truck and a single drop falls onto a button which cues a video. This recaps all the horrific violent acts he has been coerced into committing. He deplores to the crowd for understanding. He should take this time to make a kickstarter, because the crowd is eating this up. Big Show is disgusted at himself, and he is unforgivable and is at his lowest. Because of his actions on Monday threatening Hunter S. Thompson with assault, he must face the Shield tonight.

- Cue Hunter who comes out with Damien Sandow’s briefcase, and is dodging imaginary bats. He opens said briefcase and takes out some methadone and Tic-Tacs. Then HHH notes that all of Show’s debts are his own, so he has gone and purchased the mortgage on Show’s house. Show is now indebted to the KEW. I suspect they borrowed this story idea from the real life actions of See That Punk and Joey Mercury? Whatever, this wasn’t terrible. It at least moved the story along a little, and entraps the Show further. But in reality, it doesn’t.

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The butler did it.

- We get a show of Rob Van Dam and Ric-Van-Rod walking around in pink variations of Roc Can Cod’s T-Shirt. Why are they pink? I thought real men wore pink. I’m unaware of why everything is pink on RAW this week. Is the answer on the WWE app? I just heard they have one. I hate being so ignorant about what the whole deal with everything being pink in October is about. Please, no one fill me in. I am enjoying this state of mystery. Maybe I can call Scooby Doo and Shaggy and Violent J to come solve the case, because the answer will remain Un-Robert-Stacked (because he’s dead). AND, they’ll eat all of the food in my fridge. I replaced Barkley with William Perry, and he was just fed. Just as long as no one calls Velma. That’s key. KEEP ME UNAWARE. I’d rather just stay in my lab and try to research for a cure for cancer.

@Charles Barkley @G: “I’m coming… you won’t know it when I do, but I’ll hit you when you least realize it’s coming. I know where you live.”

@G @Charles Barkley: “I blame JT for this. Fuck. #IAmFucked”

- G Keeps Rolling! – * Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango (Winner’s contract is up after Battleground match). Fandango and Fall-Camp Ray Dudley have a long entrance. The Ric-Rod introduces RVD, but I just noticed he doesn’t roll the “r’s” on Rob. What a waste. Rolling one’s “r’s” is a beautiful thing. R-r-r-r-roll those fucker’s retards. I love when RVD hits the Rrrrrrrrrrolling Thunderrrrr in Parrrrrise. There’s a commercial break in the match, and I a minor linguistic epiphony. It’s difficult to roll one’s “r’s”, when the “r” ends in a word that has an “s” at the end without introducing a glottal stop. Anyways, Summer Rae interfere’s on a 5-Star Frogsplash attempt giving RVD a DQ victory. Post match, RVD attacks Fandango with weapons, because ECW. At least he hit a Van-Terminator. That is a spot I never tire of.

- Garnering those buyrates, WWE. Keep it up!

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Either Google is broken, or nobody knows.

- HOME INVASION TIME!!! Enter the Jorge, Mark, JT and my son from Fall Camp who they said Jorge would pick up in his weekly random transportation method. I don’t have time for that, not with all this crack I smoke.

Joe: Hey Pops, I’m back from Fall-Camp. What’s new?
G: Barkley was set free. Jorge appeared on RWR on Monday .
Jorge: I did (say what ever else you want and shill RWR featuring you, your safe word is “Mexican Food”).
Mark: Was that a slight at me? Just because I’m not American? Sheesh, you guys really are a bunch of motherfuckers.
JT: I am.
JT HHH: Time to play the motherfuckers.
JT Hogan: I invented fucking your mothers!
Joe: Who is my Mom, Daddy G dearest?
G: You’re not my kid. I kind of found you on my doorstep and figured, hey, free-indentured servant.
Mark: WHAT?
Jorge: I met one of those you have.
G: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
JT: The clone G guy. The one handcuffed to the leg of your couch.
Joe: My special friend. I love that guy, I like to call him snuggles.
G: I… What in the hell are you talking about? Joe is my only unpaid labourer. All of this is nonsense. I don’t own a cloning machine.
Mark: I knew it! I read that WTF section in your Smackdown review! The gig is up!
G: There’s no gig. These are all lies. It also doesn’t have the ability to alter reality or travel through time. There are no clones. There is no magical device.
Mark: I can see him sitting right there.
G: Pointing is rude. That’s just… umm… an inflatable fuck doll. Yeah, just one of those.
Jorge: It’s incredibly life like. It even seems like it’s breathing. Wow, it even just smiled and waved at me!
JT: Barkley told me everything, G.
Joe: Dad, why is everyone fighting with you?
G: WE ARE NOT FIGHTING! THERE IS NO TRUTH TO ANY OF THIS! THAT’S JUST MY FUCK DOLL THAT I PUT MY COCK INTO AND SEND SPERM TO THE RECESSES OF HELL ACCORDING TO SOME RELIGIOUS PEOPLE.
Jorge: There is some R-Truth to this. You see, our next match was * Ryback vs. R-Truth.
JT: I didn’t watch. That’s right, I’m on a weekly wrestling podcast, but I can hardly fathom the thought of actually watching wrestling.
JT Hogan: I invented not watching wrestling, dude, brother!
Mark: I caught it.
Jorge: The match?
Mark: And herpes, thanks buddy!
JTG: (yes, JTG is now a thing, you do him in your Canadian voice). Brooklyn! Brooklyn! Money, money, yeah, yeah!
Joe: This reminds me of that time at Fall Camp. I hated that place.
G: Yes, continue to go off on tangents and forget all about my cloning machine and everything else.
Jorge: What was that G?
G: Nothing. You said something about a Ryback versus R-Truth match.
Jorge: Yeah, Paul Heyman more or less sends in Ryback to Killings Ron. It’s not much of a match. Then Curtis Axel comes in and pummels him some more, reminding him that they have a match at Battlegrind.
Joe: That’s Battleground, Uncle Jorge. You are forcing me to go sit in a box.
Jorge: It’s Sunny’s box, little Joe. We’re going to play a game called Knifey-Spoony.
Joe: I want to spoon!
G: Ok, there is no way I’m scripting anything else about that.
Mark: Wait, G and Jorge are brothers?
JT Hogan: I invented brothers, brother!
Mark: Of course you did, JT Hogan. You also invented killing wrestling promotions with your creative booking powers, didn’t you. I’m going to pat you on your head and send you on your way now JT Hogan.
JT HHH: We’re not interested in anyone TNA. It’s not Best for Business, and has no Cadence. And if you’re not down with that, we’ve got three words for you….
G: RAW Reviews Suck.

- And just like that, they all vanish as if I have a secret cloning machine that can teleport, time-travel and alter reality. Shit, I didn’t say anything about teleporting earlier. Fucking Barkley. I blame JT. I send them to work as Fluffers somewhere, except Jorge who rides off on his undead Pegasus he named Sir Rottinghorse. Not a clever name, but he likes it.

- Renee Young talks to ADR backstage, because that’s what she does. Mid-interview he receives a dented garbage can that RVD Van Terminated into Fandango earlier. Totally buying the PPV now!

- * Non-Title Match: Alberto Del Rio {C} vs. Dolph Ziggler. I have no interest in this match. This whole card tonight is inconsequential thus far. I warned you people. Fuck. I notice that ThinkSoJoE finally updated the “ About ” section at Bored Wrestling Fan . I forgot I edited in the music video for Ugly Kid Joe’s “ Busy Bee ” as part of my bio. I haven’t heard that in a while, so I listen to it as this match keeps going like an Energizer Bunny with a vampiric curse aimed at vegetables. Bunnicula , bitches.

- Damien Sandow does a fine job on commentary, dismissing the questions by Cole about his MitB briefcase and it’s illicit narcotic contents. He also denies flooding a hotel room in Las Vegas, claiming it was Hunter and his lawyer, Machete-Kills. Shut up, I know those actors are not the same people. Don’t Be-Trejo me and break kayfabe. That midget in a bull costume was actually a bull on RAW. Or maybe it was Bullet-tit-machine guns, a typical house-hold gadget found in any Modern Family. THAT’S WHY EVERYONE IS WEARING RED THIS MONTH! There’s a huge sale on bullet-bras at Walmart. I immediately ask Scooby and Shaggy to leave. Not Violent J. I introduce him to William Perry in my apartment basement.

- This match is still on? Sure, I went off on tangents… but this match was actually very good. The problem was, that it was not really that relevant to the overall build to anything. ADR submitted Ziggler with an armbar. Sandow clapped on. Running in isn’t becoming of his persona. People want the cash in to fail. I don’t. His gimmick is based on intelligence, and his character will have none of your generic Dijon Mustard.

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I applaud this sign. Smarten up, hockey parents. Your kid probably is never going to make the NHL. 700 jobs per season. This sign should be in every arena.

- * Los Matadores vs. 3MB. Sigh. 3MB are angry about losing to a debuting tag team. I just don’t care about this. It’s a joke, and if the tag-team division is treated as such, why should a grown-ass adult care? I TRY to be positive. JT of BWF Radio told me to be positive. Then he retired. If a dude who tells me to be positive gives up, I can’t take that criticism seriously. That’s Hulk Hogan talk. This just reeks of dumb. It’s too bad. I actually kind of like all four of these guys. Does anyone in Los Matadores even have an individual name yet? One of them wins with some kind of two man finisher. Buy the PPV. Hashtag Wrestlecrap.

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Done, and done!

- BWF Radio’s own sold his soul to the dark side and wrote a fucking article for us. Kudos, you smarthy bastard. Seriously though man, good work. No one gets paid here. WWE: Triple H – Thy Kingdom Come [Blu-ray] Review (Sort Of) Go check it out if you are on the fence about illegaly downloading it. It’s got lots of creepy footage of HHH vs Stephanie McMahon is a Marriage Match (WWE ownership on the line). Spoiler: Shane lost.

- Paul Heyman with Ryback and Curtis Axel talk with Renee Young backstage. Same shit, different pile. Not bad, not different. Buy the PPV. I actually FFW’d through the second half, and I love Paul Heyman. I’ve never done that.

- I’ve figured it out! I know why the WWE has all their shirts and ring ropes made pink. It’s because of that flash-in-the-pan girl singer from the early 2000′s. I’m smart. PINK IS COMING TO THE WWE! I CRACKED THE FUCKING CODE! SEND ME MONEY! She actually was “a thing”

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Pink awareness month!

- Speaking of “things” that were a “a” that we will forget later (c/o: Total Divas)….

- * Brie Bella vs. Aksana. Why? Brie Bella won, I assume. TL;DR

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Makes sense.

- I think I see Barkley outside hiding beside a few deer that frequent my neighbours lawn. Since I live in Canada, we still have wildlife roaming free here, even in a city like Calgary. I attempt to channel my inner Dryad powers and request the deer to attack Barkley, but then AJ Lee skips out with her inability to wrestle well, but be So-Cal. She mocks Brie’s future marriage to Bryan, and is accompanied by Samoa Joe, I think. Either way, dead babies and shit. PG TV. Good times, great oldies! I could’ve rewinded, but that’s quitter talk.

JT Hogan: I invented being a quitter brother talk, dude.
G: Yeah.
JT Hogan: Dude, brother?
G: Nope.
Mark: Hogan took a giant shit on TNA.
Jorge: I’m not here, don’t mind me. Just leaving the “No Move Power” RAW Deal card on the table.
JT Hogan: I invented…
Jorge: I went to Fall Camp for this?
G: Yes.
Joe: You’re a bad father
Jorge: Awkward.
Mark: Clones are not children.
G: Get off my lawn. I’m done with this episode of Smackdown. JT needs to start watching again, that old dude in the cave from Zelda lied. That sword didn’t protect me from shit. Start watching again, or I will target you every walmart, O-Kmart? Shop smark. Shop S-Mark.
Mark: Yes?
G: … Mexican food.

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I thought the last raman gif I posted was bad ass. I was wrong.

- * Kofi Kingston vs. Big E. Langston. Bray Wyatt, who is awesome (stop complaining), cuts a promo about murdering a random Ghanian on Sunday. Biggie Smalls beats him to it, and is shot and murdered later. Kharma’s a bitch. Actually, she lost a lot of weight. Then the Wyatt family come down to further murder Kofi. Silly Putty never dies. It just bounces away to another kid who adds his finger oil to the petridish of infection. A short little promo from my favorite psychopath, Bray Wyatt ensues. He’ll be on the PPV, canoeing down the stream of a river I call my laptop. Big Show is not invited. He tends to make the buttons sticky.

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!!!

- * Handicap Match: Big Show vs. Randy Orton & The Shield. They added Orton for some reason. Because it’s best for? Dumb. Don’t care. Fuck this shit. I’ll watch it. No real time play-by-play. Fuck Joe, fuck the WWE, fuck paying for the PPV, I’ll fuck anything that moves. How many cocks will I suck on the way to my car in the parking lot? It certainly won’t by 37. It won’t even be one. Because I just don’t care. Fuck this PPV. That’s what happens when you free Charles Barkley from my basement, JT.

- This is purely how the Shield would face the Big Show in a handicap match. If you ever wondered how they would fare against him in this format, here is your answer. It’s a decent bout, but it is irrelevant to the stories they want us to pay for. It’s just a one-off. We end up thos Usos running in to interfere, and Daniel Bryan as well. All in pink shirts to promote pink, because that’s a colour. There was likely a DQ. But that didn’t matter. Buy the PPV?

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

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The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

———————————————————-

I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

———————————————————–

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

———————————————————-

This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

———————————————————–

Logo
Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

Logo
Cheap Heat

———————————————————-

WTF?

———————————————————–

———————————————————-

Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Hockey Fan

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

6 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42598 2013-09-30T04:11:24Z 2013-09-30T04:11:24Z

Way to make it obvious in the GIF, G.

I have no idea what happened today. В I wasn’t there. В Jorge took my place. В Brian Muller was there. В G was there. В JT was there. В And I’m pretty sure that the reason why I wasn’t there has something to with RWR’s Alice. В I hear she was on the show today. В The joke’s on her. В I’m sending a soldier from BWF to RWR tomorrow night. В You wanna find out what happened on today’s show? В I guess you’re just going to have to click the link below. В I know I will be after The Simpsons.

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 93 (MP3, 2:32:45)

This week’s break song was “Mighty Mighty” by Earth Wind and Fire. В Buy it here !

0 Nate Stein

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42594 2013-09-27T03:58:15Z 2013-09-27T03:58:15Z

CZW World Tour: UK, Germany, Japan, US (PA 10.4, NJ/CA 10.12) CZWrestling.com – VOD.CZWrestling.com – CZWiPPV.com Twitter.com/combatzone – Facebook.com/OfficialCZW Sign-Up for the CZW Newsletter! Visit CZWrestling.com to sign up for the CZW newsletter (sign-up on the left). Get the latest news & deals straight to your Inbox! - – - – - CZW Heads to […]

CZW World Tour: UK, Germany, Japan, US (PA 10.4, NJ/CA 10.12)
CZWrestling.com – VOD.CZWrestling.com – CZWiPPV.com
Twitter.com/combatzone – Facebook.com/OfficialCZW

Sign-Up for the CZW Newsletter!
Visit CZWrestling.com to sign up for the CZW newsletter (sign-up on the left). Get the latest news & deals straight to your Inbox!
- – - – -
CZW Heads to Monster-Mania This Weekend in Baltimore!
Friday, Sept 27 to Sunday, Sept 29, CZW will be a part of Monster-Mania Con at the Hunt Valley Inn, 245 Shawan RD in Hunt Valley, MD, featuring stars of horror and sci-fi! Visit CZWrestling.com for more information.
- – - – -
New Matches! The Locker Room Speaks on ‘Cerebral’
CZWrestling.com – Saturday, Oct 12, CZW is in a deadly double header with WSU at 4 pm and CZW at 7:30 pm, live on iPPV, at the Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD in Voorhees, NJ!
- – - – -
While CZW World Heavyweight champion Drew Gulak defends the title in California on October 12, Campaign member Kimber Lee & a mystery partner challenges OI4K’s Nevaeh & a partner of her choosing. (see the controversy (YouTube.com/watch?v=W9wRCm53szc) between Kimber Lee & Nevaeh, plus a message from Drew Gulak)

How will Rory Mondo respond to Drew Blood’s “message of trust”? (watch highlights (YouTube.com/watch?v=bgadhaVOZxs) from Mondo vs. Danny Havoc)

Two men recovering from loss face off – former CZW Wired TV champion AR Fox goes up against Chris Dickinson, who lost his second World Title match. (see what (YouTube.com/watch?v=SDI0RktoSnY) Dickinson has to say after his loss to Gulak) (see what (YouTube.com/watch?v=NLZiOsrP8HQ) plans AR Fox has after losing the ‘DWTS’ ladder match)

Already Announced:
* House of Horrors Match: Matt Tremont vs. Joe Gacy
* Odd couple tag teams face off: Shane Hollister & Caleb Konley vs. David Starr & JT Dunn!

Tickets available at CZWrestling.com/czwstore/ & at the door! Show your support on Facebook at Facebook.com/events/297456383727761/!
- – - – -
MBA/CZW Alzheimer’s Benefit in Philadelphia on Oct 4!
MBA & CZW team for ‘The Memory Remains’ on Friday, October 4 at the Vogt Recreation Center, 6700 Cottage ST in Philadelphia, PA!

So far announced:
* Devon Moore vs. Joe Gacy
* Matt Tremont vs. Drew Blood (Watch how (YouTube.com/watch?v=5E_5B5_Yklg) this came to be)
* Latin Dragon vs. Xavier Cross
* WSU stars “Bonesaw” Jessie Brooks & Shanna, & much more!
- – - – -
Upcoming Events: CZW World Tour 2013!
First, heading to England and Germany, CZW World Heavyweight champion Drew Gulak, Drake Younger, AR Fox, and CZW owner will represent the Combat Zone:

Saturday, Sept 28 – 7 pm – Southside Wrestling (feat. CZW) – Rushcliffe Arena, Rugby RD, Nottingham, England – southsidewrestling.co.uk
Sunday, Sept 29 – 7 pm – IPK:UK (feat. CZW) – Bronxbourne Civic Hall, High ST, Hoddesdon, Herfordshire, England – ipwuk.com
Thursday, Oct 3 to Sunday, Oct 6 – wXw/CZW/BJW ‘World Triangle League’ – Turbinenhalle, Oberhausen, Germany – wxw-wrestling.com
* Tournament to feature CZW World Heavyweight champion Drew Gulak; Zack Sabre, Jr.; AR Fox; Daisuke Sekimoto; Drake Younger; Yuko Miyamoto; Kim Ray; Big van Walter; “Bad Bones” John Klinger; Robert Dreissker; Johnathan Gresham; & Ricochet.

Then, Dave & Jake Crist & Danny Havoc will represent CZW at Big Japan Wrestling from October 3 to October 20 – bjw.co.jp!
October 3 – Shinkiba 1stRING, Koto-ku, Tokyo – 7 pm
October 5 – Prefecture Sunport Venue: Symbol Tower Exhibition Centre, Kagawa, Takamatsu, Japan – 6 pm
October 6 – Osaka Joto Kumin Hall, Osaka, Japan – 5:30 pm
October 9 – Ishikawa Kanazawa Distribution Hall, Kanazawa, Ishikawa-cho, 2-chome, wholesaler 61 – 6:30 pm
October 10 – Toyama Takaoka Techno Dome, Takaoka, Toyama – 6:30 pm
October 11 – Niigata, Sun Village, Shibata, Niigata Prefecture Shibata Ijimino 6080, Japan – 6:30 pm
October 12 – Izumi Marine Center, Miyagi, Sendai, Japan – 5 pm
+October 14 – Sapporo Am Kirchplatz Hall, Hokkaido Sapporo Higashi-ku, north east, Japan – 12:30 pm, 3 pm, 6 pm
October 15 – Hokkaido Asahikawa Local Industry Promotion Center, Asahikawa Kagura Article 4 of 6-chome – 6:30 pm
October 16 – Hokkaido Wakkanai gymnasium, Hokkaido Wakkanai Horai 4-chome 1-39 – 6:30 pm
October 18 – Korakuen Hall, Bunkyo-ku, Tokyo 1-3-61 Koraku, Japan – 7:30pm
October 19 – Tsurumi seaside festival, Tsurumi-ku, Yokohama City, Bentencho 3-1 – 1 pm
October 20 – Harima Central Park bandstand, Hyogo Prefecture Kato Shimotakino 1275-8 – 1 pm

Friday, October 4, MBA & CZW ‘The Memory Remains’, an Alzheimer’s Benefit, at the Vogt Rec Center, 6700 Cottage Ave in Philadelphia, PA.
Saturday, October 12, CZW World Heavyweight champion Drew Gulak & Pepper Parks represent CZW at Wrestling Cares at VFW Post #3261, 1822 W 162nd ST in Gardena, CA!
Saturday, October 12 CZW returns to Voorhees, NJ for ‘Cerebral’ and a double header with WSU at The Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD!

For advertising, sponsorship, & vending opportunities or for media requests, contact info@czwrestling.com.
CZW is looking for original music for the CZW locker room. If interested, submit a link to a demo to info@czwrestling.com.

0 Bored Wrestling Fan http://www.boredwrestlingfan.com

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42592 2013-09-22T20:47:29Z 2013-09-22T20:47:29Z

Hilarious.

Jorge misses another episode, and is portrayed by JT in the various “BoredWrestlingFan Theatre” segments throughout the show. В We have connection problems throughout the show. В We discuss В Night of Champions, RAW, ROH (and Death Before Dishonor), IMPACT, and SmackDown. В Sunny works the dirtsheets, Duke “The Dumpster” Drose gets arrested, and Kevin Nash rips Impact. В What does the future hold for BJ Whitmer? В Why is Triple H comparing WWE to Disney? В Why is Jeff Jarrett taking a more active role backstage with TNA? В Why do I keep asking you? В Find out the answers to most of these by clicking the link below and listening to the show for yourself! В Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 92 (MP3, 2:07:44)

This week’s break song was Middle Means by Cyril Rufus. В Which I can’t seem to find a link to purchase. В So… В Sorry.

A special happy birthday to our friend, Cleveland Browns TE Gary Barnidge, who I’m fairly certain was the guy behind the announcers with his team on RAW this past Monday. В Congrats on beating the Vikings, my friend!

1 Nate Stein

http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=42590 2013-09-17T21:13:09Z 2013-09-17T21:13:09Z

CZW Oct 4 Alzheimer’s Benefit; Oct 12 Cerebral iPPV & House of Horrors Match CZWrestling.com – VOD.CZWrestling.com – CZWiPPV.com YouTube.com/CZWnews – Facebook.com/OfficialCZW – Twitter.com/CombatZone Combat Zone Wrestling hits the US east coast with two huge events in October. On Friday, October 4 – CZW and MBA ‘The Memory Remains’, an Alzheimer’s Benefit, at the Vogt […]

Combat Zone Wrestling hits the US east coast with two huge events in October.

On Friday, October 4 – CZW and MBA ‘The Memory Remains’, an Alzheimer’s Benefit, at the Vogt Rec Center, 6700 Cottage Ave, Philadelphia, PA with a 7:15 pm bell time for a recommended $10 donation:
- Drew Blood thinks he can “bulldoze” the competition, except Matt Tremont has other plans as they face off on October 4.
- Latin Dragon will take on Xavier Cross
- Also featuring Joe Gacy, Devon Moore, etc.
Show support on Facebook at facebook.com/events/575067219219123/.

On Saturday, October 12 – a deadly double header on iPPV with WSU as CZW presents ‘Cerebral’ at Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD, Voorhees, NJ. WSU at 4 pm, CZW at 7:30 pm:
- In a House of Horrors Match: A year of frustration will lead Joe Gacy and Matt Tremont to try and send the other into their own personal hell.
- Two odd couple teams battle when Shane Hollister & Caleb Konley face JT Dunn & David Starr
Show support on Facebook at facebook.com/events/297456383727761/.

Tickets available at CZWrestling.com/czwstore/ and at the door!
See the latest previews at the CZW YouTube channel at YouTube.com/CZWnews!

For sponsorship opportunities, vending space, and media requests, contact djhyde@czwrestling.com.

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CZW International Tour News
Stay close to CZWrestling.com this week as we announce how CZW will impact England, Germany, Japan, and three events in the United States over the next month!

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Upcoming CZW Events
* * Thursday, October 3 to Sunday, October 6 – CZW/BJW/wXw ‘World Triangle League’ – Turbinenhalle, Oberhausen, Germany
* Friday, October 4 – CZW/MBA “The Memory Remains” – Vogt Recreation, 6700 Cottage ST, Philadelphia, PA
* Saturday, October 12 – Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD, Voorhees, NJ
*** Saturday, November 2 – Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD, Voorhees, NJ *** UPDATED DATE
* Saturday, December 14 – ‘Cage of Death’ – Flyers Skate Zone, 601 Laurel Oak RD, Voorhees, NJ