Highlight of the Night- The Top Moments from Raw
Good evening ladies and gentlemen (what are the odds there are actually any ladies reading this?). I am your guest author for tonight's Highlight of the Night- Gary Mastriano- here on loan from the B Plus Player podcast. And I am going to be breaking down the top moments from the 4/20 Raw while your usual host-Mark Adam Haggerty Adams is busy celebrating a highlight of his own.
Angry Orton
WWE was kind enough to lug the steel cage up to Albany for tonight's Raw. The same steel cage, we are told, that will house the main event for next week's Extreme Rules. One half of that main event match Randall Keith Orton opens the show to a massive pop. The title challenger cuts a vicious promo about the physical punishment he will inflict on the reigning WWE champion. Orton promises to destroy Seth Rollins's jaw, rib cage, and rectum before he is interrupted by bi-colored hair sporting WWE Champion. Seth, along with J and J security, claims that he was backstage answering emails when he heard Orton rambling in the ring. This makes me think- do WWE wrestlers have professional, official WWE emails that they use for corporate communications? [email protected] ? Or was Mr. Rollins checking his personal emails (hopefully naked picture free). Well Mr. Rollins as someone who works in HR, I can tell you that's it's not smart to admit that you are stealing company time by checking personal emails. Orton reminds us that we are watching a TV show and says that he will RKO the entire roster after the commercial break. Good of him to wait so we can get a word from our sponsors in.
But this wasn't the last we would see of The Viper. Orton made good on his promise of RKOing everyone (well most everyone…) he could get his hands on. His first victims were the New Day (after they defeated Lucha Dragons for the #1 contendership). His next victim was Heath Slater and his salad. Later on in the night the greatest Tough Enough contender of all time- the Miz- was on the receiving end of a RKO.
Get Your Dancing Shoes On
Fandaaaanngo is officially back. Last week's unexpected turn wasn't a one off deal. And that's good news for everyone… except Curtis Axel. Axelmania may be running wild, but Fandango is dancing his way back up the card. I have to say- Fandango's sudden change was such a welcome surprise last week that I wanted to include it again this week. I thought there was more potential in Fandango's darker gimmick, but the return of the Fandango dance is a welcome one. WWE squandered what they had with it last year, so let's hope they take the slow burn with The Dancing Man this time around.
Enough is Enough and It's Time For A Change
Triple H returned from nursing those nasty WrestleMania bruises to make a big announcement about the future of WWE's reality wrestling competition show- Tough Enough. Mad Dad McMahon "returned" and talked about finding the future of the WWE brand last year in Seth Rollins. H uses his above average segue skills to tell us that it's time to find the next face of the brand. And to do so the WWE will bring back Tough Enough to the USA Network. Tough Enough will consist of 15 contestants, 5 female and 10 males, that will be collected via video submission. I missed a lot of what HHH said afterwards because I was filming a promo to send directly to HHH. When I came back from my flexing and promo, Kane was in the ring. HHH thinks Kane may be a little old to compete on Tough Enough. This doesn't sit well with Kane at all, and instead of a messy age-ism lawsuit, Kane resigns from his position with an official 2-weeks' notice. Man, WWE sure could use my Human Resources expertise. Think a wrestler with a HR guy gimmick could get over? Let me go film another Tough Enough video submission…. I may be on to something…
Also Kane mentions that he could have made El Torrito champion… that was funny.
United States Championship Open Challenge
A few weeks ago on the B-Plus Players Podcast (cheapest of plugs) I mentioned how cool it would be if the TV title was introduced into the WWE. And while I do write for a wrestling website and host a podcast, not all my dreams can come true. But John Cena's open challenge may be the very best next thing. After kindly explaining to us that the Russian Chain match this Sunday is basically a strap match, Kane answers the challenge this week.
It has been great to see Cena defend the title every week. Each match has been excited and well executed. What makes the open invitational even better is that every challenger to Cena's title so far has looked like a credible threat to John Boy. Tonight Kane put on the best match he's had since the Team Hell No days. Cena and Kane have great in ring chemistry dating back to their pre Mania 28 feud.
Kane was the star of the night, giving the most character development he's had in years. Renee Young even called it out in a backstage segment-"It's been a roller coaster of a night for you."
The Battle for the Mantle of Miz
So after months of pretty great storytelling and a hot build we get… a blow off match on Raw? At one point I thought this was match was shoe in to open WrestleMania 31. Now it can't even make it to Extreme Rules. After stealing the show during the Andre the Giant battle royal, Mizdow proved what we all already knew- he is no slouch in the ring. This was a fun little match that deserved a few more minutes if it really was the end of this feud. This match also may have featured the most roll ups per minute in any match ever. And Summer Rae turned heel!??! And HEY IT'S RANDY ORTON WITH AN RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!
Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins in a match dedicated to Kane
Seth Rollins has to be the most successful person ever to hail from Davenport Iowa, right? No offense to all my devoted Iowa fans, but it certainly is not a town you hear much about.
Arguably the two best in ring workers on the main roster go head to head in tonight's main event. These two styles mesh so well, I can't help but speak for the entire internet when I say- Give these guys a big stage to shine! A Raw main event is nice, but this was obviously to further the top storylines going into Sunday. Wouldn't we all love an extended program between the Architect and the Show Off?
Sheamus ruins the match just when it starts getting fun. #triplehreturns again to congratulate Rollins, only to be awkwardly cut off by the Champ. Am I the only one who thinks Rollins has very awkward moments on the mic from time to time? Rollins does the logical thing- hides in the steel cage…completely forgetting that Randy Orton has been hunting him all night. Angry Orton smiles as Raw goes home to Extreme Rules.
Quotes of the night:
"Naomi may be the greatest Diva of all time."- Booker T
"Ryback is the new face of hunger."-Michael Cole
"As the Jedi Master Yoda said in the greatest Star Wars movie, Episode 1…." Bo Dallas… preach it brother
"That fruit has a family!"-JBL
"Roman you are the Tim Tebow of the WWE." -Bo Dallas
"What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing cause their asses just got shell shocked."- Ryback
"What kind of salad dressing did you put on?"- Heath Slater
"After I beat Dolph Ziggler tonight let's celebrate by getting Kane a gift. Maybe some denture cream or a box of depends."- Seth Rollins
