The New Day vs. Gold and Stardust
This might be the first preshow I’ve been excited to see since Wrestlemania XII and the finale of the Billionaire Ted sketches. While Gold and Stardust have seemingly lost their luster, The New Day seems to be just getting started and have managed to hit a chord with the WWE Universe. When they first got together I think we all would have assumed that the ‘New Nation’ would be a heel faction, and though there’s certainly room for this ensemble of extraordinary talent to grow, I’m enjoying the honest rapport they’ve created with the audience. My pick is The New Day, primarily because a loss at this stage would do nothing, except reestablish my lack of faith in WWE Creative. I also think the Rhodes Brothers partnership has entered into its twilight and it could only be a matter of time until Cody Rhodes comes to his senses and sets out to defeat his brother—maybe at Mania?
Ladder Match for the IC Championship
Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper
I’m torn as to how excited I should be about this match. On the one hand you’ve got two of the most competent wrestlers working one another for what’s arguable the most prestigious championship in the WWE. Furthermore, they’re taking their fight to the skies in one of the most iconic match types in the history of professional wrestling. Regardless, I refuse to get my hopes up as I’ve learned to not make predictions based on what the competitors are capable of. If this match opens the show, then I anticipate another unimpressive throwaway contest that won’t last more than fifteen minutes. But if the WWE holds Luke Harper and Dolph Ziggler until later in the show, it could possibly exceed even the biggest Universe fan’s expectations. I am going to go out on a limb and predict Dolph Ziggler as your winner for this Intercontinental Ladder Match, allowing for a more vivid story to be told as we head into Wrestlemania season.
WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow
I’m glad that these teams are aiming for something other than the same old tag team dynamic of, “You’re the champions and we want your belts.” It seems that there’s never any sort of personal “je ne sais quoi” in tag team wrestling, especially in the WWE. I’ve been calling for a Naomi heel turn for two weeks, and while I think it could be too soon, I’m certainly not ruling it out. The Miz and Mizdow are almost definitely going to retain as Jimmy is bound to let his emotions cloud his judgment as to the task at hand. I think it would be a mistake to turn his wife this early, as there are already a number of ways the Miz and his stunt double could walk out unscathed. I think we’ll see the Uso’s lose and perhaps we’ll catch a few fleeting glances of discontent between the twins and Naomi.
Chairs Match
Ryback vs. Kane
Who cares? What a ridiculously reverse-engineered concept—a CHAIRS match. Let me guess, we won’t see any head shots or blood. How about Kevin Owens, by the way? Getting color in his very first appearance with the WWE? As soon as I saw him start to bleed, I figured he would be future endeavored immediately but apparently that’s not the case. Anyway, back to RyBack and Kane… I was really liking the goofy Director of Merchandise gimmick that Kane had for a mere two weeks. I understand the ideology in giving the new guys a “rub” from the established Superstars, but Ryan Reeves has already had main event pay-per-view matches with John Cena and CM Punk. I would therefore like to see the sufficiently-rubbed Ryback battle another, younger talent. I think he would have a stellar program with Cesaro, and what else is the Swiss Superman doing nowadays, since winning the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal? Tagging with Tyson Kidd. I don’t care about this match, it doesn’t mean anything, nobody will be better or worse when it’s finished. Well, maybe Kane if Dr. Chris Amman is the one treating that unsightly growth on his back. Winner? Uh… Ryback. Why not?
Stairs Match
The Big Show vs. Erick Rowan
So everything I just said about how absurd the Chairs match is, and how Ryback doesn’t need to be wasting his formidable years working Kane? That’s exactly what’s happening here, except The Big Show isn’t as awful as Glen Jacobs and Erick Rowan could probably use this rivalry to better align himself within the company. But a STAIRS match? This reminds me of Summerslam when they announced a Flag Match and nobody knew what the hell it was going to be. What is a stairs match? I hope it doesn’t even involve the ring steps and instead they have to push eachother down flights of steps in the arena. And then Rowan circumvents the rules by throwing Big Show down an elevator shaft. I guess Rowan will win whatever the match might be, but the people who concocted this concept are the same people who ultimately decide who wins and loses. So let’s not give them any benefit of the doubt; this will likely be my “walk to 711 for junk food” match.
Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
What did I say two months ago before they even met at Survivor Series? These two competitors were destined to mix things up in a TLC match. While the vast majority of match types throughout the evening are inorganic, this rivalry has had the benefit of very careful long-term booking which helps to connect the dots from Hell in a Cell to the Survivor Series and now to TLC. I don’t think this is the end for Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt as the Royal Rumble seems to be the perfect place for two such entities to settle their differences. I think Bray is most likely going to have his hand raised at the end of this contest, due in part to the overwhelming odds that Dean Ambrose could win. After gaining the upper hand in his last set of altercations with the Eater of Worlds, I would be surprised if Ambrose managed to come out on top this Sunday. Notice how I managed to talk about a TLC match without ever referring to it as “a demotion derby?”
WWE Divas Championship
AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
For the first time in a very long time I am interested in what the WWE Diva’s are working on. I’m not sure if it’s the women down in NXT that get me fired up for the future of the division or if it’s the classic Good vs. Evil teleplay put on by AJ Lee and Nikki Bella. Everyone knows I dislike AJ, but I enjoy the part she plays in her dichotomy with the current Diva’s Champion. People accuse me of falling into the “Nikki Bella Trap”; they say she sleeps her way to the top and that she’s cruel to the other women she works with. I say if you believe that, then who has really fallen victim to a trap? If anything, Nikki is doing a wonderful job of establishing her character and creating a vast divide between what she and AJ both bring to the WWE. This is one of the matches I’m most looking forward to, and I’ll be interested to see what, if anything, Brie Bella will do to make herself stand out. I think Nikki Bella retains.
WWE United States Championship
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
Another really exciting contest that I’m geared up to witness. I think the common question is, “Why is Jack Swagger being injected into a program with Rusev again?” Hey, I agree that Rusev should continue forward without looking back, but his summertime program with Swagger was perhaps his most provocative to date. Added to the anti-American escapades of the Ravishing Russian Lana, the All-American American is the perfect opponent for the United States Champion. The backstage assault on Zeb Colter was a bit overboard in regards to unbelievable booking practices, but it’s done no harm and has served to get Zeb back in the action. I think Rusev retains via some nefarious means that help to keep Jack Swagger firmly cemented as a featured player in the years to come.
Tables Match
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena
In my debut edition of “The Thirteen”, I rank the top contenders in the world of both professional wrestling and sports entertainment. Number four on my list, and one of the only performers I ranked that hasn’t held a world title this year, was Seth Rollins. Say what you will about how he’s always wet when he comes to the ring or fault him for his allegiance to Triple H both on and off camera, but Seth Rollins had one of the best years in the sport. It makes me all the more optimistic about the direction in which WWE is heading, knowing that Mr. Money in the Bank has been designated worthy of closing out the last pay-per-view of the year. And on the flipside, you can complain about John Cena all you want as well, the man never phones anything in and is fully capable of helping to deliver what might be one of the most memorable matches of 2013. It’s kind of curious who’s going to win this bout. If John Cena wins, he will go on to battle Brock Lesnar for the third time, but if Seth Rollins should defeat Cena, then he will have two world title matches in his future. I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen, but in the interest of picking a winner I am going to say Seth Rollins. After suffering a defeat at the Survivor Series, I think Rollins is poised to earn a victory this month. Although I could be completely wrong, because if Cena wins, then I believe both superstars still have their championship opportunities in tact. Right? I’m still going to go with Seth Rollins.
