WCW Clash of the Champions XXXII – 1.23.96
-Schiavone and Heenan actually at ringside for a change. Weird.
-Okerlund is at “A Little White Chapel” for the Parker/Sherri wedding. Isn’t this where HHH and Stephanie get married?
-Public Enemy. Sigh. My least favorite tag team ever.
-SIGH. They’re facing the Nasty Boys…who are probably my second least favorite tag team ever.
-Nick Patrick let this one go pretty far before DQ’ing both teams.
-Bischoff interview Flair and Giant. Flair downplays the title loss, because they get in the ring tonight with Hogan and Savage. Um….okay.
-Dean Malenko vs. Alex Wright. This was apparently set up on WCW Saturday Night when Malenko wouldn’t release the Cloverleaf.
-Malenko wins. No real surprise there.
-Kevin Sullivan against the Disco Inferno. Apparently Disco’s been trashing Sullivan.
-In Disco’s place, someElvis impersonator comes out eating a sandwich. What? He gives a “singing telegram” from Disco Inferno, who is apparently at the wedding. Taskmaster smashes the Elvis impersonator instead.
-Bischoff interviews Sting and Luger…Luger calls them the biggest tag team in wrestling, which brings out THE ROAD WARRIORS YESSSSSSS. I’m a big LOD mark. Sting welcomes them back, and the Warriors ask for a title shot. Sting is all about it, but Luger says no way, they’ve been out of commission for too long, and they have important title defenses against “Harlem Heat, the American Males, and State Patrol”. Basically they leave it all unanswered.
-Up close interview with Mr. Wonderful, who talks about his right arm going numb and his neck/spine injury. Orndorff says it’s a career-ending injury – and they actually part of that ridiculous ass psychic segment again. Anyway, Orndorff bitches about how the Horsemen meant to ruin his career, and did it deliberately. NO SHIT SHERLOCK THEY’RE THE FOUR FUCKING HORSEMEN.
-“You haven’t seen the last of Mr. Wonderful. Bank on it.” I will.
-Col. Parker shows up and tries to borrow $50 from Okerlund to pay the cabbie. Did Parker blade a lot? His forehead is a mess of scar tissue. Anyway, a phone rings, and Parker pulls out this HUGE cell phone. It’s Sherri who wants to see if he’s there. Horrible segment.
-Pillman against Eddie Guerrero. Man, Pillman is FANTASTIC as a nutcase.
-Eddie sends Pillman to the outside with a dropkick…Pillman randomly grabs Heenan’s jacket and rips it off of him. Heenan YELLS out “Whoa whoa what the fuck are you doing?” Heenan walks halfway to the back before coming back to ringside and taking the headset back. He obviously knew he screwed up, because he instantly apologizes “if I said anything I shouldn’t have said” and said he feared for his safety there. Was this a work? Because…Heenan seemed LEGITIMATELY rattled/shocked.
-Pillman wins with a rollup/handful of tights…he reaches across the commentary table and again Heenan flips out – throws his headset down and walks away from the table. If that’s a work it’s an impressive one.
-Bischoff brings out Hogan and Savage, with their special guest, Kevin Greene. Oh god, I forgot about Kevin Greene wrestling.
-Greene compared Hogan/Savage to the Steelers, and Flair/Giant to the Cowboys “in this Sunday’s Super Bowl”. Bet Greene wasn’t counting on Hogan throwing two passes to Larry Brown when no Steeler receivers were within 15 yards, eh?
-Lord Steven Regal and Squire Dave Taylor are “the Blue Bloods”. They’re facing Sting and Luger. No sign of JEEVES though! Sadness. Guess who won? No, really, guess, because I’m not taking the time to recap this one.
-Sherri shows up, HAMMERED. Parker tells her that he gambled all the money away. They start arguing, which basically sounds like a couple of babboons mating.
-Bischoff brings Pillman out to talk to him. Pillman asks Bischoff if he’s nervous, and says he should be…and threatens to say the seven words you’re not allowed to say on TV, on live TV. Man, Pillman is AMAZING.
-Anyway, Pillman talks about Orndorff and about respect. Awesome promo.
-IRON MIKE TENAY joins the commentary booth for the Psichosis/Konnan match. I got lost in the Nitro hype and didn’t even realize that Psichosis is ALSO making his WCW debut. Wow.
-Konnan comes out to some AWFUL music
-Is it just me or are WCW’s rings smaller than the WWF’s? (Editors note: Yes Ross. Yes they are.)
-Konnan locks in what can only be described as a Standing Figure Four with the arms locked in, apparently called the Ziplock, and Psichosis submits immediately.
-Sherri getting dressed in the limo. Parker cuts another horrible promo.
-Okerlund walks Sherri down the aisle and attempts to cockblock Parker by telling Sherri about the phone call earlier – which WASN’T from Sherri. Disco Inferno interrupts with his dancing. They’re having the wedding at the drive-up window because Parker can’t afford the fucking fee for indoors. Bunkhouse Buck and Dirty Dick Slater are crying. THIS IS A FUCKING DISASTER OF A SEGMENT.
-MADUSA shows up. Was wondering where she was. She came out of Parker’s trailer and attacks Sherri for some random reason.
-Woman accompanies Savage and Hulk Hogan to the ring…they stop halfway, and Elizabeth comes out to join them – stunning as ever. If you were a wrestling fan with a pulse in the 80s/90s, you had a thing for Elizabeth, period.
-Clash is running over…sorry to the people who tuned in to watch Child’s Play! Ironically, in a few years Chucky will be on Nitro…*facepalm*
-Hogan and Giant fighting on the outside…Flair clobbers Savage with knucks and gets the clean win over Savage.
-Greene and Hogan fend off the attacking Zodiac/Pillman, and then along with Elizabeth check on Savage.
