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http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-29th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-29th-2015/#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2015 02:00:00 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews and I'm like Ashley from HR Big E Big Show Charlotte Corporate Kane Demon Kane Dolph Ziggler Donny Deutsch Dudley Boyz John Cena Kevin Owens King Barrett Kofi Kingston Mark Henry Miz Neviile New Day Paul Heyman PCB Prime Time Players Raw review Rusev Ryback September 28th Raw Seth Rollins Stardust Team bella The Authority Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14427 ‘Ello everyone, I hope your days are going alright. My caretaker has the parkinglot getting repaved by a bunch of amateurs and they are currently leaf blowing dirt all over our patio. What greater time to enjoy my favorite form of escapism than right now? Show starts with a Kane/Seth Rollins video package and the […]

‘Ello everyone, I hope your days are going alright. My caretaker has the parkinglot getting repaved by a bunch of amateurs and they are currently leaf blowing dirt all over our patio. What greater time to enjoy my favorite form of escapism than right now?

Show starts with a Kane/Seth Rollins video package and the opening credits.

John Cena Promo

• Cena says the fans seem salty tonight but “Have no fear, The champ is here” Hot bars Cena. Hot bars.
• U.S. Open challenge is back!!!
• The anticipation of who is gonna come out is sweet. I was so interested in just the Raw graphic on the titantron
• New Day comes out playing Cena’s music on the trombone and saying “John Cena your title reign is booty! and clap for your soon to be U.S. champs and get beat like it’s your duty!” Damn Big E!!!! Taken Cena to the lyrical woodshed
• The Big E gyrating hip dance is now shared with Xavier Woods.
• They put over their match with the Dudleys, give John Cena a new slogan “Hustle, Loyalty, and Booty” cause he is booty. Kofi says we are on the verge of having “New Day as your Tag Team Champs, New Day as your United States champs, AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!” Big E asks “at the same damn time?” Kofi and Xavier say U.S. Champs Tag Champs AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!” Then they say they should be Team Scrooge McDuck because they are swimming in gold. Xavier is sure to point the reference is from Duck Tails to keep with his original I love the 90’s gimmick. Then to the tune of John Cena’s music they say “New U.S. chaaaaamps” They legit kill it at every point in this promo. The best right now the best.
• Cena says you better be serious or I’ll beat all your asses, choose one and face me.
• Xavier says Cena is about to get “Lost in the Woods”

United States Title Match- John Cena (c) vs. Xavier Woods

• This is a big moment for Xavier Woods. This match should be fun.
• Cena cranks out the clothesline on Woods who screams while he goes to the outside “I Wasn’t Ready!”
• I want a Let’s Go Cena/New DayRocks chant. The ref throws Kofi and Big E out.
• Perfectly timed commercial break as the New Day leaves and we are left with Cena vs. Woods on his lonesome.
• We come back mid 5 moves of doom for Cena, Woods gets a kick reversal in and gets a near fall
• Cole keeps pointing out how Cena says there is a time to be serious and a time to have fun, it gives the New Day a credible way of staying viable as threats. They can always say they weren’t serious enough and took it too lightly.
• Woods hits some big moves and we skipped the first and middle part of the matches story and are right in the third part. Cena keeps going for Attitude Adjustments, making Xavier seem like a legit threat.
• Xavier hits semi-signature moves that are unique to Woods as a wrestler. Near falls are happening too,
• Woods keeps reversing the Attitude Adjustment and hits more fast high impact offense. Eat Defeat .
• Xavier jumps from the top rope and lands directly on his back.. Ouch…
• Cena puts Woods in a STF-U and New Day comes out for the save, the Dudleyz come out to save Cena.
• New Day grab Devon and Cena and Booty Ray go outside the ring to save him so New Day goes into the ring and commercial.. Smart move.

John Cena vs. Xavier Woods

Dudley Boyz and John Cena vs. New Day

• Kane made this match during commercial.
• How often have we seen the New Day wrestling as a trio? Usually Xavier is on the outside tromboning the audience
• Cole brings up the New Day’s Public Service Announcement . Allow them to reintroduce themselves.
• The little kids are really into the match, the chants of just CENA,CENA,CENA.. Since they are kids they don’t know chant cadence yet.
• Cena is taking the brunt of the offense here, building to a Dudley hot tag, which will lead to a 3D right?
• Devon gets tagged in and the crowd does not really respond at all, they just want tables.
• I think the Road Warriors are better than the Dudleyz. The Dudleyz are one trick ponies in the use of tables. Sure people pop for their Wazzzup! and 3D, but no one reacts to them in an actual match.
• Yep the Whhasssss Uuupp! move hits and gets a bit of noise, the 3D gets a bit more noise.
• Xavier grabs Booty Ray’s leg and Kofi puts Trouble in Devons Paradise and NEW DAY WINS!!!

And I’m Like…. That was great! That was 35 minutes of story progression, entertaining promos, and good wrestling. If that was a sitcom it would be done and accomplished all it needed too. Bravo to all involved. Mainly the New Day though, they are geese laying golden eggs on the regular.

Backstage the Authority introduce us to a new character. Ashley from HR. Kane says he has never met Ashley from Human Resources before… He is COO and hasn’t met HR? WWE has an HR? This is stupid….

We also see Reigns gearing up to face Bray Wyatt, Ambrose is asking to help him out and be at ringside for his Brudda! Ambrose is like dude I know your still mad about that Money in the Bank match. He starts talking ish about Randy Orton and Orton shows up, and yeah. We know tonight is not the end of this feud.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

• LOL WHHAAAT!?!?! For real with this? Stop it WWE, these two should be special not a throw away match to get Big Show tough points before losing to Brock Lesnar on Saturday.
• Mark Henry couldn’t even bodyslam the Big Show.
• Big Show speared and bodyslammed Henry then told a fan he was gonna “slap him in his damn face”
• Show just hits bodyslams like this is 1983. The move works though, and Mark is yelling crazy loud to really sell it.
• I am not sure if this makes Show look super strong or Mark Henry depressingly weak.
• After Big Show channels his inner Big Zeke he hits Mark Henry with a KTFO Punch!

And I’m Like… That felt really old school, I kinda liked it, at the same time it feels like it sucked all the energy out of the crowd..

We see an advertisement of Miz TV with Charlotte and Becky next, that won’t help the crowd from being restless.

Miz TV with Charlotte and Becky Lynch

• Miz TV should have a ticker on the bottom telling us what superstars are saying or storyline updates, that would make it seem a bit different
• They show Paige getting all mean on the mic last week. She says Nattie with out the T’s. Naa-E. It’s like you know how in the South people talk by taking the ou out of words. The UK must not use any T’s.
• Miz sings Hello Drama my old friend . Then brings out the C and B in PCB
• I cringe whenever they touch a mic. Like one of my regulars, everytime he comes in and we have other customers it’s so scary. Scary as in like “I am afraid of this embarrassed feeling I will get when they open their mouth.”
• Paige gets called out by Becky and Charlotte, but Miz says don’t invite people on his show, so Becky throws Miz’ microphone out the ring.
• Bella’s come out and they remind me of some Anime group. Like I shouldn’t say Anime because I only watch One Piece but they remind me of a gang of pirates from One Piece.
• Charlotte needs a manager to talk for her, she is trying so hard, but she does not have the social ability to talk normal..
• The crowd is reacting to this segment though.. They are making noise when they are supposed to, that’s good!
• The girls start brawling, and the chairs and microphones are still in the ring and I get a bit nervous whenever that happens. It seems unnecessarily dangerous to fall on. PCB unites and beats up the Bella team.

Team PCB vs. Team Bella

• I can’t be mad at this, the girls are getting the same 30 or so minutes that the guys got. Their promo, although not as entertaining as the New Day’s still got the story across and built drama to the match we are witnessing now.
• We also hear JBL saying that if you watch Total Diva’s tomorrow night you’ll understand why none of the Diva’s get along.
• Brie tries to do Yes! kicks to Becky to no response from the crowd. We hear a smattering of No! chants and it draws a smirk on Brie’s face.
• The girls are trading wrestling moves and reversals, the crowd is quiet though.
• Why is Team B.A.D. rarely featured now? They are regulated to 3rd hour non storyline matches. At least we have Sasha Banks vs. Bayley in an Ironwoman match at Takeover in two weeks.
• Paige left her team, Na-E came out to help, Paige beat her up, Nikki pinned Charlotte,

And I’m Like… meh, everything was timed out about the same as the first part of the show, it just didn’t strike the right entertainment nerve. Alot of the girls stuff feels like its acting. New Day and Cena play it off where it feels like characters, Diva’s feel like people playing characters.

We are brought back to Raw with a Brock/Big Show video package. JBL used the “they once broke the ring” line when talking about Big Show and Mark Henry AND Big Show and Brock Lesnar.

The video package is pretty damn good though, If you forgot everything you knew about wrestling and only based your excitement off of this video package. This would be so so so sweet. WE know that Show has lost so much though, we see Brock as a special attraction and not Show. This is the Brock Lesnar tour, Big Show will not win. It feels very old school though, like a Terry Gordy and Andre The Giant .

Seth Rollins is talking to Ashley from HR and Kane shows up and presents Seth Rollins severed statue head to Seth. Ashley thought it was nice, Rollins knew he was crazy. This is like mating the Warrior vs. Hogan in WCW with the Abyss storyline .

Prime Time Players vs. Wyatt Family

• This is just a match, no history behind it, so let’s say it’s to get higher in the tag team ranks. Let’s say that The Wyatt’s are the 3rd rank and Prime Time are the 2nd rank. That put’s Dudley’z at number one contender the the champion New Day. So if the Wyatt’s win they are only two matches away from title contention.
• Now that I care about what’s going on. Strowman is dominating Darren Young and tagging Harper who is doing the same.
• The crowd really doesn’t get behind the good guys when they are getting beat up all night. This feels like a crowd that is either very shy or just wanting to see the shit they know and only what they know. The reactions are all spot on when they need to hit their cues (taunts, catchphrases, entrances) During the matches though, they are dead as hell.
• Strowman is still looking unstoppable and hard to figure out. He put Titus in that choke/hug thing. The crowd is way quiet…

And I’m Like.. looks like the Wyatt’s are really making waves in the tag ranks! We’ll see what happens next week when nothing that happened this week matters.

Stardust vs. Neville

• This match happens alot. It’s like they are the only superhero and super villain in the WWE. It’s our generations Mortis vs. Glacier when there was only two Mortal Kombat characters in WCW.
• JBL says Stardust is like Prince cause no one calls Prince by his government name so why should we call Stardust by his given name?
• Even though these two have been fighting on every highway and byway, they are still pretty innovative.
• King Barrett came out!! He legit hit Neville at the exact BOOOM in his song. THAT WAS AMAZING!!! Absolutely amazing!! He hit Stardust with it too!

And I’m Like.. Nothing before the coolest Bull Hammer I’ve ever seen matters. I used to watch wrestling or cartoons to different types of music hoping they would sync up. Barret, Stardust, and Neville did it, and it was sweet.

Arby’s voiceover guy sounds like Big E’s dad.

Kane and his day at HR. I really don’t want to review this or watch it, it won’t really matter. The storyline is Seth and us are the only ones that know that Kane is doing this on purpose. This whole Authority storyline is to get us to side with Seth Rollins slowly, so when he turns face we are all ready. The best faces are the heels that get cheered, he wrestles like a face, he just needs us to want to cheer him. I’m not sure if this will do it, but it might.

Seth Rollins was mad that Kane was found of sound mind so he destroyed Corporate Kane. Chair to the back and leg and everything. By everything I mean Pillmanized . Seth Rollins is a complete dick to Kane, Corporate Kane was extremely nice, did not deserve that, maybe we are supposed to boo Seth. I don’t know.

Kane got put in an ambulance and instantly came out as the demon Kane… yeah….

And I’m Like… This isn’t Halloween 2 and I can’t believe I said I wouldn’t review or watch it, it’s been twenty minutes. Demon Kane was limping but stomped his leg on the ground and his injury went away. This is such a stretch, I haven’t spoken to any little kids lately so I don’t know how they feel about it. Kane is no selling stuff though so Demon Kane is like Demon Finn Balor .

Bo Dallas vs. Randy Orton

• Bo comes out and talks about the hometown crowds team the Buffalo Bills, he brings up that they haven’t won a Super Bowl trophy.. Same with us Vikings in Minnesota.
• This seems like a match that exists to see an RKO.
• Randy is feuding with Bray who is feuding with Dean and Roman, Now Orton is going up against Bo Dallas the little brother of Bray. We know that Randy has a history with a rivals family .
• Orton hit an RKO to win by the way.

And I’m Like… If i was on the Buffalo Bills I would have enjoyed that.. Anyone else just enjoyed the RKO. yep.

And another thing, Donny Deutsch will you stop it!! YOU CONSTANTLY HIT ON a married woman. You are so full of yourself and just a douche. Maybe manage Dolph Ziggler and have a place in this world.

Kevin Owens vs. Rusev

• Ryback is on commentary, he tells us to put a muzzle on Summer Rae and says Owens should go mountain climbing to work on his cardio.
• Rusev and Owens brawl into Ryback. The match is called, Rusev and Owens double team Ryback and The Ryback is in a triple threat feud again. Wait no WWE’s Donny Deutsch comes out to save The Ryback. Yes that means The Ryback is Joe Scarborough.

And I’m Like… You can’t get me to hate on Ziggler and Ryback more than to have then be the reason Rusev and Owens only fought for a few minutes. pssh. Just Keep Dancing.

A preview for Breaking Ground.. Holy Shit, I am not ready for this show. This is like the most emotional. Regal says “This is not a job it’s a lifestyle” Remember that everyone, if you want to get involved in wrestling, know that it is a lifestyle.

Paul Heyman Promo

• Heyman is out to pitch us Saturday night in Madison Square Garden. Heyman is the most best salesperson WWE has ever had.
• Heyman puts over the fact that Big Show is the way he is because he is not inspired or motivated, he can not be pushed to his limits, unless it’s against Brock Lesnar.
• He calls him the “Larger than Larger than life superstars”
• They can’t really sell this match…
• I’m sorry but we know Brock is a Beast and THE BEAST, this is building Brock up for the Hell in the Cell,

And I’m Like… They were told to sell a match that we all know the ending to. This must have been how people felt when Bruno Sammartino would go up against anyone. Bruno was champion for 8 years and then again for 5. How would anyone think Bruno would lose like four years into his first reign? They wouldn’t.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

• Bray said it would be one on one, he came out with the Wyatt Family. Roman called him a “little bitch” and Bray Mr. Mind Games gives in to the insult and sends the Wyatt’s to the back.
• This match is slow and rest holdy. The crowd does not clap to get Roman back into it because they legit do not have a cheer leader. The other matches that were legit matches were the two six person tag matches. They both had people on the outside to hit the turnbuckle or stomp the stairs to give us a cue. They don’t have that luxury in this singles match and the crowd really needs it.
• For real though, where is Sasha and Naomi and Tamina? I am kinda sad that Sasha didn’t even make an appearance.
• Roman was going through his Five Moves of Doom and was getting boo’d.
• There was a near fall and no one went TWOOOO or OOOOHHHH at the kick out, that is bad news.
• Both guys are knocked down. The crowd is dead, what does the ref do? STAND THERE, take notes from NXT ref, COUNT TO TEN when two guys are on the mat… Crowd loves counting and keeps them invested for a small amount of time while guys climb.
• Once the signature moves hit the crowd wakes up.
• I do not like seeing them brawl to the outside and the kids in the crowd just holding their phones and not even reacting or cheering. YOU PAID TO GO THERE LIVE!!! It is on TV!! Why record it on your phone? It doesn’t make sense to me, maybe I a old.
• They get counted out but keep brawling, that means this feud is not over. There was a guy in the crowd yelling “Punch him in the face” which was always my favorite thing drunk guys yelled when I Dj’d for my brother who promoted profession boxing.
• Wyatt crossbodied Reigns threw the barricade. The crowd do a “This Is Awesome” chant. That’s good, the crowd will go home happy. I am at home and semi entertained.
• Wyatt set the stairs up so he could climb onto the announce table. He does a pose to the crowd and Reigns runs up the stairs and spears Wyatt threw a table. We end with the crowd trying to YES!

And I’m Like.. That happened, what was funny is Raw ended with no sound except the crowd noise, then USA cuts right to Friday! “I’m gonna get you high, cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, ain’t got no money, and you ain’t got shit to do.

So its late, I gotta open early tomorrow, and my loving pregnant wife is patiently waiting to go to bed. I’m heading to bed, y’all have a good one.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-top-5-moments-from-raw-2/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-top-5-moments-from-raw-2/#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2015 18:10:16 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Big E Big Show Brock Lesnar Divas Revolution Dudley Boyz John Cena Kane King Barrett Kofi Kingston Seth Rollins Sky Sports The New Day USA Network WWE WWE Network Wwe Raw Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14400 Welcome back to the Highlight of the Night: The Top 5 Moments from Raw. My name is Mark Haggerty and I'm back for another breakdown of the WWE's flagship show. This column is usually featured at Daily Wrestling News, but this week I've returned home to Cheap-Heat for a very special edition. This week's episode of Raw was […]

Welcome back to the Highlight of the Night: The Top 5 Moments from Raw . My name is Mark Haggerty and I'm back for another breakdown of the WWE's flagship show. This column is usually featured at Daily Wrestling News , but this week I've returned home to Cheap-Heat for a very special edition. This week's episode of Raw was pretty boring, huh? With Kane and Big Show playing prominent parts on TV each week, it's not hard to figure out why I turned the show off at about 10 o'clock , only to return later with my finger on the "fast forward." Eric Bischoff said that he doesn't watch wrestling nearly as much as he used to, and why would he? Someone like Bischoff isn't checking out the indies, and he sure as shit has no reason to tune into the WWE on a regular basis. I realize I'm preaching to the choir, but something has to be done about the WWE's relaxed approach to booking their product, or more and more of us will be flipping the channel far earlier than 10. That being said, there were still a few high spots peppered throughout the card, and I'm here to count them down.

5. The Big Show Has Words for Paul Heyman
While I'm not sold on the Big Show as a viable contender for Brock Lesnar, especially in 2015, I admire the WWE's wherewithal in terms of storyline. Wrestling fans like being rewarded for their continued patronage; when Superstars return or former friends reunite, it's as if WWE Creative is winking at those of us who paid attention. The WWE is using Big Show's 2002 Survivor Series win over Brock Lesnar as proof of what the Giant is capable of doing. The Big Show didn't just defeat Brock Lesnar, he defeated him for the WWE Championship when the former NCAA Champion was at the top of his amateur wrestling game. �Show wonders how Lesnar could possibly defeat him, and warns Paul Heyman that a "world without Brock Lesnar" is closer than he might think. It's interesting that no mention has been made of Heyman's former affiliation with the Big Show; in 2006 Paul Wight made history by becoming the first—and only—man to hold the WWE, WCW, and ECW world championship titles. Paul Heyman was basically his manager , just as he was years earlier when Big Show bested Brock. I'm not as down on this program as most pple, but it's very transparent. The Big Show cannot win, and there's no sign of this feud continuing as Lesnar is getting set to face the Undertaker inside Hell in a Cell . Still a very captivating segment nonetheless.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2015 01:20:59 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews Alicia Fox and I'm like anoka Anokasflawless Becky Lynch Big E Big Show Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Cesaro Charlotte Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Dudley Boyz JBL John Cena Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Little Dick Dudley Luke Harper Naomi Nattie New Day Paige Randy Orton Raw 9/20/15 Ric Flair Roman Reigns Rusev Seth Rollins Summer Rae The Authority Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14327 I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.    Wyatt Family Promo- Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns. He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he […]

I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.

Wyatt Family Promo-

• Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns.
• He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he made a magic moment in a cage at your expense.
• You see fans looking at their phones, and fans that aren’t. The ones without a screen in their face have big smiles, the phone people are super concentrated… For what? a phone video? of a taped program? who will you show that to? why is a video more important than real life?
• Roman says it’s always just been about you and I ‘Send the bigguns back to the swamp and we’ll see you makes it out”
• He doesn’t want a match with Bray he just wants a fight. Bray sends Brawn and Harper to the back, except they don’t go up the ramp. Roman hits Luke and goes to town on Bray
• The Wyatt Family starts to walk to the back but they jump Reigns first while he was beating on Bray
• Ambrose comes out and Strowman fights both men himself.
• I’m not one for brawling, and this is a brawl.. It is just dragging out.
• Roman is getting choked out by Harper and Cole goes “like a big ol’ boa” or a Viper cause Orton comes out
• RKO’s and cheers’ for Orton
• I am indifferent towards this

And I’m Like… Strowman is presented as the guy who won’t fall from his feet. Ambrose, Reigns, and Orton come out on top. I hope there is more to this story other than, new dude joins guys, that are mad that one of them got pushed off a ladder during a ladder match.

We get a video package from Night of Champions where Cena won the United States Championship. Rollins winning the match and keeping the World Title. They did not show Sting’s collapse and injury, but they did show Kane.

Seth Rollins tries to talk to The Authority. Kane is standing there but it’s as Corporate Kane, I believe we are headed in a schizophrenic route.

That Geico Final Countdown commercial makes me miss Daniel Bryan

Cosmic Wasteland vs. Neville and Lucha Dragons

• Neville doing the ‘Lucha’ pose with the Dragons is put in my pocket adorable
• Konnor has a sweet contact in the eye that has paint over it. It’s the little things that add so much sometimes.
• Sin Cara botched baaaad. He slipped off the top rope and hurt himself
• They play it off like that was a planned spot, now that is PROFESSIONAL wrestling
• Next step for Cosmic Wasteland is matching gear.
• We get a commercial break during this match, honestly this would be the match to do it. Not during good matches that we are invested into. Just these random matches you know.
• Stardust is tremendous at his job, he gets Cody chants, which means we don’t forget who he is. He plays this character so well and is creating his own stamp on the industry in such a creative way.
• Kalisto is making the WWE Universe go WWWHHHOOOAAA!! and the commentators are just “….I do not know….what is going on” Kalisto is crazy fast, he hits the Solito del Sol for the win.

And I’m Like… That was a fun match, with a well placed commercial break. Nothing to complain about here! Nothing to really praise either.

Seth runs into the Authority and complains about Kane like this was the Spring of 2015. The Authority gave each other a look last night when Sheamus said he was gonna cash in. Kane then came out and put an end to that. Now Seth is kept champion and kept in line by the Authority. He can’t know that HHH and Stephanie are behind all this and manipulating him like Helicopter Parents or else The Authoritys hard work would have been for nothing.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

• Kevin Owens is on commentary and Bo Bo-Lieves!
• Bo says Ryback isn’t as good as Kevin Owens
• KO says he has always like Bo
• This is Ryback kicking the poop out of Bo while Kevin waxes poetic on the mic.
• It would be fun to build Bo as the guy that comes out and pisses off the giant guys of WWE and get his ass kicked. It will take almost a month of random interruptions until we are conditioned, but it would feel like a Crash Holly superheavyweight deal.
• Bo gets offense in, Kevin Owens says it’s cause he Bolieves
• Meathook clothesline and a Shellshock without ant indication his arm hurts.
• Owens comes in after Ryback wins and beats on the Ryback until Owens bails to fight another day.

And I’m Like… That might have set the theme for the night. It was the third segment in a row, that were just fine, but also moved the story along and had wrestling going on while it did.

We get video packages of Charlotte winning last night, and being awkward with Poppa Flair. A very forced ‘this is emotional’ from Jerry Lawler.

Charlotte Title Celebration

• Ric comes out first.
• He talks about being a proud father…
• He tries to do a promo about how special his life is and stuff and a “Thank You Ric” breaks out, he goes on about peoples lives and what happens.
• He is putting over Charlotte like crazy, the crowd will cheer her until we are told not to.
• Becky and Charlotte come out all smiles, Paige is distancing herself from the group as they walk out, Flair opens the ropes for Charlotte and Paige goes to the other side and walks in.
• Charlotte Wooo’s with her dad and Paige looks annoyed as hell.
• They both look at each other and like cry… They are so emotional, they are like me watching Sasha and Bayley. For real though, Charlotte is super real and gets me veklempt, she says she always wanted to be a wrestler and prove to Ric she is good. She loves him. For real, achieving your dreams is amazing, that’s where it hits me in the emotions. To see someone achieve their dreams in wrestling shakes me so much you guys.
• It looks like Paige is holding emotions in, she is trying to be tough and pulls it off amazingly.
• Paige is the perfect person to boo. She is the most condescending and bitchy. Paige says “There is no revolution Charlotte, you are just a placeholder.” She says to Becky “You are the least relevant in this division” She runs down everyone in the business, she does smarky comments about the Bellas being sluts. She talks about how Team B.A.D. is all flash, points out that Lana and Summer don’t care about the division, says Nattie don’t even work here anymore.
• Nikki comes out and is just the most annoying, she is a stuck up bitch. “One more thing, the queen is not done talking”

And I’m Like… THERE WE GO!! We just got character development and the splintering of groups. We all know that it should be about being the best, and recognized as the best. She spit some truth and threw in some shade that was scandalous. Pitch perfect on that y’all, got some feels out of me too!

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

• Brie is an awkward wrestler, it seems like her heart isn’t into it.
• Brie is working over the leg Nikki beat on last night.
• Charlotte needs to hit Natural Selection to win, her leg is becoming too damaged to hit the figure 8, she will probably win with the submission.
• Brie tries her Yes! kicks on Charlotte’s leg, but the crowd does not respond like they are supposed to. It ended up looking like she was kicking the leg then doing a dancy turn, then back to kicks.
• What’s great about Paige leaving to be her own, and Becky staying by Charlotte’s side, is Becky knows that friends can battle and have great matches. She learned that being one of the Four Horsewomen. Paige has always been on her own, and her closest friend was a ‘frenemy’ in AJ.
• Figure 8 happens and Brie taps… QUIT WORKING ON HER LEG IF SHE WINS WITH LEG BASED SUBMISSIONS

A nd I’m Like… How long is this gonna be Charlotte matches?? See its a revolution cause there is limb work.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

• Sheamus comes out just clutching that briefcase. It adds a bit of insecurity to his character. That makes me sad kind of, he gets YOU LOOK STUPID CHANTS. He is just trying to stand out and not be a Beaker muppet joke. It must be so hard for Sheamus to have confidence.
• Mark Henry comes down and Sheamus has a ‘god damn, whatever’ face going on.
• We know Henry doesn’t win anymore, but we also know Mr. Money in the Bank always loses.
• Sheamus is starting a new character turn I believe.
• How cool is a Diva’s Money in the Bank match gonna be?
• Sheamus went for Brogue and barely hit Mark Henry so we are redoing it!
• Sheamus wins with no crowd reaction.

And I’m Like… What the hell is going on? We don’t have much time between now and Wrestlemania. I don’t see Sheamus being champ at Mania, and I see Roman Reigns beating him. Sheamus might have his confidence back after that win. Which would make this match very very good, just a quick story of doubt in a character.

Kane is talking to The Authority and he doesn’t remember coming out as the Demon last night. See the mask is missing, the mask that The Authority controls Kane with. Kane is a bumbling idiot character and a psychopathic freak. A Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

New Day and Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler and the Dudleys.

• Can I make a ‘Little’ Dick Dudley joke?
• Xavier Woods is the only wrestler selling injury from last night. Remember 10 to 15 years ago, when we would get guys bandaged up and limping?
• I see that to get me to watch the Rusev/Ziggler saga they pit it directly against my love for The New Day.
• Xavier is holding up some wood that the Dudleys put in his butt. The Dudleys must be stopped. Big E says we gotta build a wall around Dudleyville. He is cosplaying as a Republican and making the tables Mexicans and Dudleyville Mexico. Kofi says “Together we can make WWE great again”. If Obama gets boo’d in Texas, do something that makes fun of Trump seems like a viable heel option. Sadly, New Day is smarter than the Texas fans so they did not pick up on this.
• I wish I could watch Rusev and New Day just exist and do them for 15 minutes instead of wrestle these damn’d Dudleys
• Dudleys pyro leaves smoke over the ring reminiscent of WCW. I remember going to a Nitro with My Uncle and he was smoking cigarettes in the arena. His excuse was, look how much smoke they make, like my cigarette is affecting anything.
• JBL keeps saying that New Day is like Bel Biv Devoe… Why? They didn’t fracture from a group (New Edition) they have yet to do a song parody of “Poison”. They are black though, and there are three of them… JBL…
• I would hate to be in the car with Xavier while he is practicing Rusev’s theme song. He played it just perfect for the Raw audience though. New Day are so great though, they know what fans want to see, they know references to get them likable by  pop culture fans. They are nerdy enough to get dweebs to like them. They are hip enough to be ahead of the curve. They are all wrestling fans, so when you see them tagged with Rusev, you see how they all support each other like characters that exist in a universe should.
• Xavier Woods says, you got nothin on Bulgarian New Day.
• The Dudleys tag in and the crowd goes mild. This is a long ass match y’all.
• Xavier blows the trombone in Zigglers face, Ziggler superkicks Xavier, Summer catches the trombone, Rusev hits Ziggler with a superkick and THANK GOD.

And I’m Like… That was so entertainingly boring… It’s so hard to enjoy the good guys for me, but this Bulgarian New Day is something I did not know I needed.

WWE.com did not have pictures for this.

Naomi vs. Nattie

• A year ago we would be stoked to see this cause it was the two athletic wrestlers. Now it’s I don’t know, part of me thinks it will be done in 3 minutes off a distraction roll-up
• Paige is now watching on… I don’t know why, if she is trying to learn how to wrestle against Naomi and Nattie? They have been here so long.
• Naomis does a JTG rope bounce, CRYME TYME never forget.
• Sasha should have Tamina on her team forever, they look like a great HBK and Diesel combo.
• When Nattie runs over the top of a seated opponent, its shocking how something that easy is so innovative.
• Naomi wins cause there is too many girls on the outside, and Nattie has no one to help her. She also has had facial surgery…..

And I’m Like… That was three minutes wasn’t it? Ugh that was like being in a way way back machine.

Big Show vs. Cesaro

• This is a surprising match… Show is gonna win cause he needs to look like a threat to Brock.
• lol a Seven foot, Four hundred pound man has to look like a threat. I’m ridiculous sometimes, wrestling suspends reality too much!
• Cesaro is getting decimated. Tossed and thrown around, Big Show is yelling in Cesaros face.
• Let’s give it up to New Day for teaching the crowd a new chanting cadence. Big ShowSucks was sustained for a little bit. Now we just need them to start getting us to sing and wrestling is gonna be nuts like soccer games.
• Cesaros hitting so many uppercuts he has to get the advantage in the match.
• Cesaro is relentless with his Eurocuts, he found the move that works and is spamming it to hell anyway.
• It’s like in a video game, you find out the sequence of buttons to press to beat the Boss. If you find one that works, you use it til you win.
• Cesaro is trying to Everest Suplex the Big Show. He did it with relative ease, but sold it like he couldn’t. He tried once, and twice, but his back hurt too bad. He looked to the crowd, and on cue they erupted in support. Cesaro hits his feat of strength and then gets hit with a hand of strength by the Big Show.

And I’m Like… We are back to the theme of the night, advance the characters story, have some wrestling. I liked this too, this is a super average episode of Raw, but lacking in drab segments makes it an enjoyable three hours.

We are recapping what happened at the top of the show and brought to the Wyatt room in the back. Harper says to Orton, the voice I hear in my head is Brays. Strowman talks about catching a killing a snake. There is ominous music in the background. I like to imagine before the cameras roll, the Wyatts setting up their fog machine and Halloween noises. Bray being all “This is what scares people, these noises, this fog, creates me THE FACE OF FEAR.. OOOOOHHHH

United States Championship Match

Seth Rollins vs. John Cena (c)

• Ok, know how I said Xavier was the only one selling injury? Seth was limping out.. So give him a nod too!
• Seth jumps Cena during the introductions and the ref backs Rollins off to start the match properly.
• If I was Rollins I would be pissed that I was jammed down the crowds throat this much, feuded with Cena this much and still all you hear is “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” damn. That makes it sound like you are so replaceable, we are just boo’ing you cause your not John Cena…. damn.
• Rollins plays the urgency card, every move he hits or every few moves, Seth goes for a pin.
• Cena is getting beat on for the majority of this match.
• Cena directs the wave that the crowd is doing and JBL says “maybe Byron will drown” WHAT THE HELL JBL???
• Rollins gots the Crossface on Cena, Cena powers out. I think to myself “Self, why would Rollins beat Cena tonight, when he is injured, when at 100% he couldn’t beat Cena?
• Cena rolls threw on a Frog Splash by Rollins and hits the AA
• lol Cena wins

And I’m Like… JBL keeps calling him Big Match John. John Cena sees a kid in a medical match and gives him a wrist band to warm our hearts. Kane is talking to Seth from the titantron. He gets all evil and pulls Seth under the ring… WHAT THE HELL? Rollins couldn’t get away, are we supposed to cheer for Rollins? I don’t get it.. I guess we will see where it goes. There is a funny fan reaction of a lady thinking this is the dumbest thing she ever saw hahaha

That was a good show, I enjoyed it all the way through.. outside of those damn’d Dudleys and little dick too.

HAve A Good one!

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/here-comes-the-pain-top-5-moments-from-smackdown-917/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/here-comes-the-pain-top-5-moments-from-smackdown-917/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2015 17:41:32 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Top Lists Adam Rose Big E Big Show Brie Bella D'Von Dudley Dean Ambrose Hulk Hogan John Cena Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Michael Cole Naomi Night of Champions Nikki Bella Roman Reigns Ryback Sasha Banks Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown Sting The Dudley Boyz The New Day The Wyatt Family Total Divas Triple H WWE Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14253 Welcome to “Here Comes the Pain” — Cheap-Heat.com‘s official Smackdown Countdown, brought to you by B+ Players Radio. When you don’t have the time to sit through an entire Thursday night edition of pre-taped content, we’re here to give you the “Top 5 Moments” in VIDEO FORM! Big thanks to WWE and their awesome YouTube/internet department who always post […]

Welcome to “ Here Comes the Pain ” — Cheap-Heat.com ‘s official Smackdown Countdown , brought to you by B+ Players Radio. When you don’t have the time to sit through an entire Thursday night edition of pre-taped content, we’re here to give you the “Top 5 Moments” in VIDEO FORM ! Big thanks to WWE and their awesome YouTube/internet department who always post exclusive content immediately. It makes our job a lot easier!

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Like this article? You can follow Mark Haggerty and B+ Player Radio on Facebook and Twitter . B+ Player Radio is a network of professional wrestling podcasts produced by writers, comedians, musicians, and most importantly— professional wrestlers! Listen to hours of exclusive content available every single week on iTunes – TuneIn Radio – SoundCloud and Cheap-Heat.com !

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-august-25th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-august-25th-2015/#comments Wed, 26 Aug 2015 00:39:31 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews and I'm like Big E Big Show Bo Dallas Braun Stowman Bray Wyatt Brock Lesnar Byron Saxton Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler JBL John Cena Jon Stewart Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Lana Luke Harper Michael Cole Miz New Day Paul Heyman RAW Ric Flair Roman Reigns Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus Undertaker WWE Wyatt Family Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13788 What is with Tuesdays? I was at the restaurant today, like everyday, and today beat the daily total of Saturday which is our normal busiest day. I happened to have a former WWF Tag Team champion come in today, but I was so busy I didn’t get a chance to talk wrestling!!! Maybe next time […]

What is with Tuesdays? I was at the restaurant today, like everyday, and today beat the daily total of Saturday which is our normal busiest day. I happened to have a former WWF Tag Team champion come in today, but I was so busy I didn’t get a chance to talk wrestling!!! Maybe next time right?

This weekend sure felt like a marathon. The more I thought about it though, the more I think the production crew of WWE is happy. They had the same arena for 3 nights in a row! That has got to be a lighter workload than normal. Season 1 of the Waltons is on while I queue up the DVR, this famous actress needed the Walton’s to help her put on a show so she can afford a train ticket to New York.. Enough chatting onto Monday Night Raw!!

Show Opening- В We start off in WWE Headquarters with HHH getting ready to present Seth Rollins with a statue in his honor. “Seth your not the future of WWE, you are the man”- HHH. We see statues of Bruno Sammartino, Ultimate Warrior, and Andre The Giant.

And I’m Like… wondering what the statue criteria is?

Show opens with its typical crappy song intro, I can’t wait until tonight is the night we change this song. We go over highlights of Summerslam, but not NXT!?!? and then

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman-

• As Brock walks out, I notice the Suplex City sign on his shirt says south. I’m not trying to throw snow here, but shouldn’t it be north? Maybe the suplex brings you down so thats why its south?
• “Suplex City” chants from the crowd as we look at a battered Brock Lesnar.
• Brock is very subdued, its way scarier to me than when he is all bouncy.
• This finish really grinds my gears, cause like, when has the time keeper ever rang the bell without command? Even during Montreal ’97 Vince had to say ring the damn bell like 4 times. I’ll take a wait and see approach, but how can we interview the referee and not the time keeper?
• Brock does not blame the referee or the time keeper, because they understood that when Undertaker was tapping, ‘Taker knew his arm was gonna break off.
• Paul Heyman brings up Undertaker collapsed again, he said he has enough material to last all 3 hours of Raw and the crowd Yes!’s?
• Undertaker got that dick kick on lock though, that is Brock’s kryptonite. By the way, I personally still don’t know who gave me that head of cabbage from a few Raw’s back..
• Paul Heyman said Undertaker looks likeВ The Gunslinger , he also says Brock challenges him to a fight tonight
• BO DALLAS’ music hits!!! Quick side bar here again.. I have a regular named Danny that is a wrestling fan, he will come in everyday and do wrestling catchphrases. He will do them call and response style like this, “It’s Simply Positively..” and I’ll go “A New Day” he says “all you gotta do is..” I say “Bo-Lieve”. Sometimes he does Paul Heyman promos, he always tries to do the Million Dollar Dance with my server too. Bo just reminded me of Danny so I thought I would throw that in there.
• Bo told Brock he had good and bad news. Bad news is he passed out, Good news is he woke up and had a dream he actually beat Undertaker. Bo said Brocks dreams can come true if he Bo-Lieves!!
• Brock laughs and then DECIMATES Bo Dalls with suplexes from Germany. The crowd chants one more time, Brock adheres to them. They chant it again as he is leaving, he does it again. He tries to leave again and Paul says “an F5 just for me!!?” Brock goes back in and yup F-5.

And I’m Like… That was the main story going into tonight, having Brock just kick someones ass really cleanses the palate of what happened last night. I don’t know where the story is headed, it might be over who knows. That segment was fun though.

В

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

• Holy Shit!!! New Day is gaining so much crowd support, they are so creative too. This is fun
• Xavier Woods playing background music to New Day inspired lyrics to “New York, New York” is something I never knew I needed!!!
• Can you cover all the songs New Day?!?! I Love this JBL says “Xavier was trained by Chief Jay Strongbow” Y’all KILLED IT NEW DAY!!! KILLED IT!!
• NEW DAYROCKS NEW DAYROCKS!!!
• The fun thing about New Day is they are entertaining wrestlers, and their gimmick is still MAD ENTERTAINING you know? Everything you see seems to be amazing, they are even putting Titus in his place while Prime Time Players are on commentary.
• How long is Kalisto going to be in a tag? He should be lighting the world on fire with lucha moves soon right?
• As the New Day hits their finishing move Xavier Woods does amazing work playingВ Military Taps

And I’m Like… Surprised that the Prime Time Players were not as entertaining as the New Day. That’s how the tag division should be, put the straps on whoever is making the most entertainment with theВ allottedВ time. As I say that THE DUDLEY BOYZ come back!! That is pretty crazy, I don’t think they are needed as full-time tag regulars though, just saw all their signature moves, what more do we need? Tables? Just saw that too! These guys should go do that NXT Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic or whatever. It doesn’t matter, this shit was fun, the whole segment.

That Make-a-Wish video had me in tears.. Bayley/Sasha at Takeover tears… fucking Connor The Crusher tears. For real this shit is so cool. People suffer so much you know, they just go through shit all day. They eat a bowl of shit for breakfast and once it’s done it’s breakfast time.It’s amazing that WWE has the power to make children forget about breakfast and escape the hell that is the hospital, John Cena legit can not turn heel, those kids need him, they really do. They need a super-hero, cause some times, real life is not enough to get you by. Wrestling is great.

HHH and Stephanie- They are in the back looking at Seth’s statue, I wouldn’t comment on this but Seth said something important. “This place is just better with you running it” SEEDS PLANTED, where is ourВ 70 year old farmer ?

Summerslam Rematch: Wyatts vs. Shield

• LOL! Last night this was my smoke break match… now we are having it again… WWE will make me watch this no matter what huh? What is really funny is, there is one of those anti-smoking commercials right when they cut to break mid Shield entrance.
• There are so many “suicide dives” to the outside in WWE recently, its like become a necessity to dive at someone when they go outside at least once in a match.
• Good thing they had that match last night to settle the score right? If they didn’t then this match would no consequences or story, we would watch this match for the sake of wrestling.
• Let’s remember this whole feud started cause Bray pushed a ladder that Roman was on over, in a match Wyatt wasn’t in, 3 months ago…. You know how many damn matches have happened since then? I don’t but we both know its alot, yet Roman is still super peeved about that ONE NIGHT!!!
• Roman doing fake drinking beer taunts is the Frattiest thing…
• JBL says “superkick party” he must watchВ The Young Bucks
• A NEW WYATT SHOWS UP!?!? He has a black mask on too!! Please don’t mean Minnesota’s own Erick Rowan is out the family now.. Let’s hope Harper is the mid-card act, Bray is the main act, and the sheep tag.
• Since this is the first non-NXT debut in a while, it’s weird to hear the crowd just murmur or be quiet.
• New Wyatt is no selling all the offense, he is choking out the Shield while Luke and Bray smile.

And I’m Like… If this doesn’t bring Sting into this feud or at least add a little flavor to this, it will get old fast. This was new fresh and exciting, I hope it doesn’t just happen for four weeks until another turn of events.

There will be a special with Brock in Madison Square Garden on the night of my baby shower!! Guess what I’ll try and make the family watch??!?

Miz TV- PCB

• I kept wondering why PCB was such a familiar acronym, turns out I noticed it on my Fish Oil container.В PCB В is a probable human carcinogen… I LOVE IT
• I am not into PCB they are the fakes of the division. Bellas are bitches and veterans and they know it and brag. Team B.A.D. seem real when they speak.
• Bella’s come out and all we hear is WE WANT SASHA!!! It’s Daniel Bryan chants all over again.
• Alicia Fox says she has been here for 9 years and seen em all come and go. It’s true, Becky quit trying to be crazy, just break arms. Charlotte quit leaning on Flair for everything WE KNOW HE WAS IN THE HORSEMEN! and Paige, not everybody wants everything sexualized.
• For a Divas revolution, Miz getting cheers when he says “When my hand goes up your mouth goes shut” It does show how we as viewers receive these Diva’s compared to NXT’s women. It sucks that when they made the jump to the main show, they lost all their qualities that made them respectable women.
• There is a six diva brawl that is leading to a six diva tag match… Sasha Banks is not in the mix, yet all the crowd says is WE WANT SASHA!!

And I’m Like… If WWE wanted me to not like six women and like three more, they did a great job. What’s bad is that the six I don’t like were on the screen making me not like them more. I am a Charlotte fan when she is real, when she is nerdy and awkward, not when she tries to be cool. Charlotte is tall and lanky, Becky is weird and annoyingly bubbly, Paige is immature. Paige was trying to get Team Freakshow over before PCB stuck, and I’m starting to lean on her side with that name. That would have added a dynamic this 3 team feud needs. The hot bunch (Bella’s) The bad bunch (team B.A.D.) and instead of the “wrestlers? other hot bunch? what is PCB anyways?” they could have been the misfit bunch.В

As I was And I’m Liking the Miz TV segment a Six Diva Tag match started… The crowd was the fun part… They wanted SASHA they did want this match.. I didn’t want this match. What I had to say was said up above. Give us stories that we can relate to please. Team Bella won if you care! Alicia fox looked like she was in pain or mad f’d up…

It was supposed to be Stardust and Cosmic King Barrett teaming but Stardust beat up The Cosmic King. Neville came out and the ref bailed as the brawl started… Neville went for Red Arrow, Stardust ran away.

В

And I’m Like… WHAAAAT???

Jon Stewart Promo-

• His Theme song is the Daily Show theme song haha. That is so not his character for wrestling, just a happy bouncy guitar riff.
• Stewart is showered in “Thank You Stewart” chants
• Stewart said he apparently upset some people, to those parents who comforted their children, I’ll tell you why I did that.
• Jon Stewart said in his heart, he could not let John Cena tie Ric Flair. The crowd was What’ing him until he said he did it for Flair, instacheers. “NOT ON MY WATCH”-Jon Stewart
• Flair then styles and profiles his way to the ring, my buddy sent a text last night “I Fuckin Love Jon Stewart” I think I know why now!
• Flair tells Stewart he was pulling for John Cena, Stewart sells shock…..
• Ric Flair says the record will be broken sooner than later, he wants it to be from someone he respects. “Don’t forget Gods in the house tonight” – Ric Flair He tells people you don’t gotta like it, you gotta love it cause it is coming out of my mouth,
• Flair told Stewart he messed up everything… like it was some giant plan that Flair had Cena beat his record…. Stewart is as confused as we are…
• John Cena tells Stewart they need to talk, he said “What do you wanna talk about? and *you can’t see me’s him”
• The crowd chants Ce NaSUCKS and Cena did something I found interesting, he was talking to either Stewart or Flair and he said “no let them get it out”. Cena has been in front of loud unrespectful crowds for over a decade. It’s amazing what he has learned in crowd control, every crowd will fatigue of any chant, if he let’s them ride it out he will be more impactful in his words when they are spoken.
• Cena says that Stewart ended the ability to let new stars shine… That is crazy!!! Why would he think that having a late twenties superstar winning the title ends the ability for new stars? Man is a narcissistic sociopath.
• He hits Jon Stewart with an AA too, John said I understand that that’s what you have to do and then just beat him up, that’s some Bully type shit.

And I’m Like… I’m with Stewart, he helped the future. Rollins was right Cena IS a disease. You could tell from Flairs face he felt that the segment fell flat… Oh well, Jon Stewart is totally gonna be in the WWE Hall of Fame Celebrity wing.

В

Ziggler, Orton, Ryback, Cesaro vs. Owens, Sheamus, Big Show, Rusev

• This could be a match, like 5 years from now, we look back on like “WOW they had some stars in that match this should be fun!”, or we could look at it like we do now, “WOW they have some stars in this match, I’ve seen everyone wrestle everyone a bunch this summer, glad its all packed in this eight man instead of an hour of Raw”
• Byron says Cesaro is “like the Chuck Norris of Raw” that is beauty.
• Ziggler is wearing tights!! He has his Sherri Martel now in Lana, his transformation to Shawn Michael’s complete. I compared Ziggler to Ricky Steamboat and Lana to George “The Animal” Steel last week, maybe this comparing thing is a trend?
• Big Show on his Mark Henry Trash Talk game real hard tonight. I’ve grown to re-appreciate Big Show, he will be gone soon, might as well enjoy him while he is on TV.
• As Ziggler gets his ass kicked by every guy on the other team, I am really digging his new tights.
• A commercial for Subway??? Too Soon you guys.. Too Soon.
• My mind is made up on Lana.. She ain’t good. She stands there emotionless, she smiles when she does offense, her character is crap. She is forced as hell like Byrons excitement for Cesaro’s “Uppercut TRAAIINN!!”
• The Ryback/Owens match-up seems real fun.. yeah GIVE OWENS THE INTERCONTINENTAL BELT!!! He is Canadian, they know how to represent that belt best!
• All the good guys notice Show is all alone so they decide to pick on him.

And I’m Like… The bad guys beat up Big Show, they left Sheamus. The good guys beat up Big Show, they left Sheamus. That’s funny. This meant nothing I’m sure, unless Owens and Rusev team up, they both beat on Show and looked damn good doing it!

Bray Wyatt is in his dark room cutting promos. When Bray rolls his eyes and says heart, his voice dragged and it sounded so eerie, I love his cadence. Bray introduces Braun Strowman the “Black Sheep of Sister Abigail”

The Authority is talking to John Cena about how he is a sore loser and that it is trending, then Security throws him out of the building.

Seth Rollins Statue Presentation-

• I just feel like something is in that box besides the statue!!
• Steph calls out that Vince turned 70 during Raw and she gets all cry baby like. They sing Happy Birthday shittly too but it was great, which makes me think… Is Happy Birthday allowed to be sung without paying copyright?
• I seriously zone out when HHH talks, plus there are two cops talking to my caretaker right now and I’m super nosy… My wife went to investigate, but I’m all wondering what is going on.
• I hear something about the Mount Rushmore of wrestling and I am like… what is going on outside my patio? Both squad cars drove away.
• ok so I paused it, found out what the deal was, some guy down on the other end of the complex broke into an apartment and the caretaker caught him running out. When I was on my smoke break earlier, I picked some weeds by the apartment and instead of throwing them away, I threw them into the parking lot. She went into the parking lot a bit later to throw the weeds away and saw the guy. So good thing I’m lazy huh??
• Rollins is spouting stuff about being the cure, he puts over the fact the for a decade Cena was the man, he then said that ended last night,
• Rollins dropped the “to be the man, you gotta beat the man.” Then told ‘Trips’ to unveil the statue
• He just keeps talking, THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMEONE IN THERE!!!
• They are taking too long, I almost lost interest….. drum roll…. and STING!!
• That is pretty dope.. HAHA I just jumped cause I was startled because my caretaker just opened the door and said some woman broke the window in the bar a quarter mile away, haha this heightened my mood, Sting held the belt up too the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
• Stings music hit and everyone went crazy, that was really cool, plus WHERE DID STING PUT THE STATUE?!??

And I’m Like… What the hell, that was very fun for me, with the craziness outside my house and on my television, Raw next week will be fun I hope!! Thank you for reading

Y’all have a good one.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/#comments Wed, 27 May 2015 22:52:11 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Adrian Neville Bad News Barrett Big E Bo Dallas Cesaro Chamber Darren Young Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler El Torito Elimination Elimination Chamber IC Title John Cena Kane Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Los Matadores Lucha Dragons Naomi Natayla Nikki Bella NXT Title Paige Primetime Players R-Truth RAW Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown Stephanie McMahon Tag Team Wrestling The Ascension The Authority The New Day Titus O'Neil Triple H Tyson Kidd US Title WWE WWE Intercontinental Championship WWE Network WWE Tag Team Championship WWE World Heavyweight Championship Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12019 Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length […]

Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length main roster event exclusive to the WWE Network. King of the Ring was only an hour long, and aside from the quarterly NXT specials, we don't get much in the way of LIVE in-ring action that isn't also available through your local cable providers. The �Chamber will go off the air a mere hour before the "Free Month of May" concludes, and will feature the first ever tag team Elimination Chamber match as well as the main roster debut of Kevin Owens. It can be assumed that WWE is planning something to keep the cheapskates hooked through June, but what ever could it be? My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I refuse to make predictions. Instead I collect all the knowledge I can acquire and present you with my monthly—or weekly at this point—"Educated Guess."

Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas
Is there any doubt as to what might be the opening bout on the card? I think not. The only question is whether or not the WWE is going to drop the ball on Adrian Neville, by affording Bo Dallas a victory. I can see both sides of the coin, but choose to argue in favor of "The Man That Gravity Forgot." Adrian lost the King of the Ring tournament in the finals and failed to defeat John Cena for the United States Championship two weeks later on Raw. If Adrian Neville is to become a player on the WWE main roster, he needs to be handled with care until more athletes of his ilk arrive, otherwise he could be just another seat filler, a la Kaval or Evan Bourne.
Educated Guess: Adrian Neville

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Divas Championship
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi vs. Paige
For the first time in many months, I've halfway curious about the WWE Diva's championship. The women down in NXT have done a fine job of stealing the spotlight in recent months, but that's no slight against the current crop of women on the main roster. Nikki Bella has been improving by leaps and bounds as of late, and so has Naomi, who has been a top performer since she was first given the chance to prove herself. Those two WWE Divas will go head-to-head-to-head in a triple threat match with the former NXT Women's Champion Paige. The three-way dance formula is perfect if the idea is to strip Nikki of the title without hurting her credibility on the cusp of a possible NXT invasion. But I don't think it's time for Nikki to lose the title. Say what you will about the Bella's, but they've maintained their grip on the purple butterfly belt since the summer. Why build such an impressive streak if you're going to drop the title to Paige, a former Diva's champion, or Naomi, who quite frankly, isn't in the same league as Paige or the incoming crop of talent. I think it'd be smart to leave the title around Nikki's waist until someone like Charlotte or Sasha Banks is promoted to the main roster. I think Nikki should be the symbolic end of the "Diva Era," and affixing the strap to someone like Naomi would be pointless.
Educated Guess: Nikki Bella

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
I wasn't really sold on an Elimination Chamber event in the smack-dab center of the Spring until this match was announced on Raw two weeks ago. Granted, that might have been the same night the event was announced. It doesn't matter! This is a true dream match that fantasy bookers and wrestling nerds across the world have been discussing since Kevin Owens became a force to be reckoned with in both Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. The way in which Owens' has dealt with the United States champion over the past two weeks has been utterly remarkable, and I really can't wait to see how this match unfolds. Up until now, most of Owens' opponents have been smaller than him, save for NXT announcer Alex Riley. This will be Kevin Owens' greatest challenge since debuting for the WWE, without a doubt. I don't think there will be a winner, and if there is, he'll have his hand raised as a result of a disqualification. I think one of two things will happen; Kevin might lose the will to compete all together. As he's said time and again, he fights for a prize, but the US Title isn't his prize. Kevin Owens might lose interest in fighting John Cena, and could introduce a steel chair to the match, the same as he's done with Sami Zayn. On the other hand, Kevin Owens has quite a few enemies in the WWE. Think about this for a second: in addition to John Cena, Kevin Owens is currently feuding with Sami Zayn, Finn Balor [by proxy of the NXT title], Samoa Joe, and potentially even William Regal. There is no shortage of angry individuals who might interrupt this match, and I for one am hoping to see Samoa Joe.
Educated Guess: No Contest

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The New Day (c) vs. Kidd and Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Prime Time Players vs. The Ascension
It's the first-ever Tag Team Elimination Chamber Match! Well, outside of a video game that is. We wondered how this match would happen and whether we would get three, four, five, or six teams. We got six! Which means four teams will be crammed into those Plexiglas pods, as they wait for their number to be called. I think the inclusion of Los Matadores, the Lucha Dragons, and the Ascension was a mere formality. I expect a few high spots from each team, especially the Lucha Dragons, but when it comes right down to it, this is a three-team program. The Primetime Players are becoming a very interesting part of what's already been a breakout success between the New Day and the "Best Team Ever." I expect this to come down to the two warring teams, and I strongly believe we'll see Kidd and Cesaro walk away as new-two-time tag team champion.
Educated Guess: Kidd and Cesaro

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Rusev vs. R Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett
I have to say—I really don't care. I know it sounds callous; the intercontinental championship is being featured in an Elimination Chamber match, and I should be excited. The WWE is finally treating its longtime number two title with the same respect that NJPW gives its belt by the same name. But when it really comes down to it, I don't care about three of the combatants, and I don't want to see the other three with the intercontinental championship. Dolph Ziggler could retire tomorrow for all I care, I really don't enjoy his work. I'm sure his program with Rusev and Lana will take center stage as far as the "Show Off" is concerned, so as much as I might like to see Rusev with the white IC belt, I'm assuming they'll continue their feud without any kind of gold involved. Then there's King Barrett and Sheamus, whom I enjoy very much, but I don't want them to be Intercontinental Champion! I want Sheamus in the main event, and I think King Barrett's monarchy is the perfect foil to John Cena's US title reign. Then there's the Big Guy—don't care about the Big Guy. I also assume, since we don't see Bray Wyatt anywhere on the card, that we might get a surprise run in from the "Eater of Worlds," which would in turn eliminate Ryback. So who's left? Who haven't I mentioned? Oh yeah! R Truth—whose gimmick is that he's a rapper who's afraid of Spiders. Okay—here's why that's funny to me. About ten years ago there was an underground rapper who made headlines when he smoked PCP and proceeded to "eat his girlfriends breasts off of her body." In addition, he claimed to have seen and felt spiders all over his arms and legs during the experience. So maybe R Truth's gimmick is that he's on PCP.
Educated Guess: Sheamus

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose is without a doubt a future WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Without question! I don't think however, that Dean Ambrose is winning his first world title on an impromptu �Network special that was only booked so as to trick dumb cheapskates into signing up passed the "Free Month of May." That being said, I expect this to be the match of the night if Kevin Owens and John Cena fail to deliver. Although they will. And who cares? Cena and Owens are newly-christened enemies who are sure to have a match that ends under precarious circumstances. Dean and Seth have a longstanding rivalry stemming from an ultimate betrayal suffered more than one year ago. I'm sure Seth is going to "cheat to win," as was the mantra of the late great Eddie Guerrero, but that doesn't mean the preceding 20-minutes or so won't be an enjoyable thrill-ride. These guys always deliver, and if you don't agree, then watch some of their previous pay-per-view battles available on the WWE Network. Oh but if you watch Hell in a Cell, turn it off before the ghost shows up. No question who's winning, but I look forward to the journey from beginning to end nonetheless.
Educated Guess: Seth Rollins

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http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter%e2%80%a8-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown%e2%80%a8-2/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter%e2%80%a8-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown%e2%80%a8-2/#comments Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:30:53 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews Bad News Barrett Becky Lynch Big E Big Show Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Cameron Cesaro Charlotte Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Erick Rowan Fast Lane Fastlane HHH J&J Security Jack Swagger Jamie Noble Jerry Lawler Jey Uso Jimmy Uso Joey Mercury John Cena Kane Kofi Kingston Konnor Lucha Dragons Luke Harper Mark Henry Michael Cole Miz MizDow Natalya New Day Nikki Bella NWA NXT Paige R-Truth RAW Roman Reigns Ron Killings Royal Rumble Rusev Ryback Sasha Banks Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown The Ascension The Bellas The Brass Ring Club The New Day The Usos Triple H Tyson Kidd Undertaker Viktor Wade Barrett Wrestlemania WWE WWE Network Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9853 What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown Written by Mark Adam Haggerty It's the final episode of WWE TV until the February "free-per-view," Fastlane. If the free month of November and the Survivor Series are any indication, I think it's safe to say this show will be more like an extended infomercial for […]

What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

It's the final episode of WWE TV until the February "free-per-view," Fastlane. If the free month of November and the Survivor Series are any indication, I think it's safe to say this show will be more like an extended infomercial for Wrestlemania, than a standard pay-per-view. There won't be a world title match, the number one contender bout is lacking any sort of momentum, and a talking segment featuring Triple H and Sting will more than likely main event the entire card. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to it just the same as I look forward to every WWE pay-per-view. I feel like a battered spouse sometimes, the way the WWE abuses me from month to month, only to pull-out some grand gesture just before I'm ready to call it quits. But Vince McMahon knows I'll never leave—I just know that I can change him. This week's episode of Smackdown wasn't the sort of spectacle as the previous edition and its tag team gauntlet, but still much more wrestling than you'll find on Raw. When other sites are simply providing results, I provide you with insight as to what not to watch. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, and this is "What's Cookin' & What Doesn't Matter."

Sometimes it seems as though Smackdown is booked like a "Barrel of Monkeys"; all the key components are thrown together and tossed out at random. This week's episode opens with a potential world title challenger at Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan, as he heads into singles action against another former WWE champion, the Miz. Tonight's show features a ton of prerecorded interview segments, starting with the opening contest and the Miz backstage, explaining how he is responsible for Daniel Bryan's "Cinderella Story." The "Hollywood A-Lister" enters alongside his personal assistant and Michael Cole is quick to point out how Daniel Bryan superseded the Miz during his debut run on NXT, which is strange as that was the same year Michael Cole lived inside a glass box and feuded with Jerry Lawler. Before the match begins, the Miz must remove his sunglasses, and does so via a choreographed ritual wherein he flaps his arms as if preparing to take flight. I love it. On the apron, the Miz's personal assistant Damian Sandow stands by, repeating the gesture, but receiving twice the adulation from the live audience. The Miz, of course, takes issue with Sandow and the reaction he elicits from the crowd, so he orders the former "Intellectual Savior of the Masses" to retrieve an Egyptian cotton towel from the locker room. The match is underway and Daniel Bryan immediately seeks to teach the Miz a lesson for the way he treats "Mizdow." The bout begins with an incredible back and forth featuring everything that Daniel Bryan is known for, combined with the Miz's firm grasp on the endangered art of being a heel. The biggest problem historians such as Jim Ross and Bill Apter have with the current wrestling product as a whole, is the blurred "tweener" territory where most talents tend to reside. The Miz is similar to Triple H, Nick Bockwinkel, and Ted DiBiase, in that he cheats to win and has very few redeeming characteristics. Other "bad guys" like Seth Rollins perform inside the squared-circle with a crispness that helps win support from contrarian viewers, while the Miz is a mediocre wrestler who boasts about his impressive credentials. And impressive they are! I've mentioned before that the Miz is a "grand slam" champion, after capturing every major title the WWE has to offer. Podcasters and columnists alike prefer to run down the potential "ceiling" for a character like Sandow, but I think the sky's the limit for anyone working this close with the Miz. Of course the devilish villain fell by the end of the fall, tapping out to Daniel Bryan's "Yes Lock." Bryan is losing steam with a lot of fans around the world but I still think the "American Dragon" has what it takes to steal the show at Wrestlemania and bridge the gap between this and the next generation. A COOKIN' match given the top-tier talent involved.

The second match out-the-gate is a battle of power pitting the "Big Red Machine" against the "Big Guy." Kane and Ryback begin this slugfest with a stunning display of rapid striking variations and dominant high-impact maneuvers. The bout soon segued into a share of rest holds between superheavyweights whereby Kane managed to fight Ryback down toward the canvas. The audience started getting restless and their inaudible chants soon brought the big men to their feet. Ryback battled Kane into the ropes and hit the former world champion with a Lou Thesz press followed by an enormous splash. A big spine buster and it was almost feeding time for Ryback. The huge muscle-bound brawler lifted the "Devil's Favorite Demon" onto his shoulders and earned his victory with a brutal "Shell Shock" to the mat below. Say what you will about Kane, and despite my own reservations regarding him inside the ring, this year is Glen Jacob's 20th anniversary with the WWE. There's a lot to be said for an individual, especially a "big man," who's able to last so long. Will Ryback be around in 2030? Judging from the way he was huffing and puffing only half-way into this match, I'm willing to say no. Unless Ryan Reeves can upgrade his conditioning for matches on Smackdown, he's never going to be in the main event title picture at Wrestlemania. But maybe that's for the best. This was pretty lame, but fast enough so that Ryback was walking away with the win before the match ever got going, so I'd dare say it was COOKIN'!

The third match of the night is a non-title bout between R Truth and the WWE Intercontinental champion Bad News Barrett. Before the competitors may enter, Dean Ambrose makes his way to ringside where he'll be joining Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Bryon Saxton on commentary. R Truth has been seeing far more action in recent weeks than I can remember in over a year! Last week Truth went to war with Bray Wyatt, and although coming up on the losing end, showed great promise—even earning a faint "You Still Got It" chant. Tonight �Truth is up against the statuesque bare-knuckle bruiser from Britain, "Bad News" Wade Barrett. As the match begins, Dean Ambrose spouts off at ringside regarding Barrett. He says the champion is "not one of those champions that goes down to defend his title every night." I thought that was sort of a strange criticism, as BNB puts his belt on the line just as often as anyone else– far more than the world champion, Brock Lesnar. Barrett commands the pace of the match, providing a preview for Ambrose as to what awaits him come Sunday. At one point, Barrett even took the fight to the outside of the ring where he continued to assault R Truth against the very announce table where Dean Ambrose sat. Back inside the ring, the multiple-time IC champion maintained his lead over the grizzled veteran, until R Truth was able to capitalize on the younger wrestler's error. Ambrose sat with his back to Barrett throughout the match, but it was the end of the bout that Barrett became distracted by Dean at ringside, allowing for the former NWA world champion Ron Killings to roll him up, earning his first television victory in—a really long time. The match was decent enough, but the segment was highlighted by the repartee between Ambrose and the commentators. My favorite of said interactions occurred when the "Lunatic Fringe" became distracted and just had to inform Jerry Lawler how proud he was, that the "King" could pull off such stylish t-shirts. When compared with other matches over the course of the evening, this was toward the bottom of my "Must Watch" list, but absolutely COOKIN' nonetheless.

Between matches we get to see another backstage soliloquy from Bray Wyatt to an unnamed supernatural entity, most likely the Undertaker. I really like the way the WWE is building toward this encounter, but I'd like to see something different for once in regards to an Undertaker match at �Mania. It seems that every year, the "Dead Man" disappears for 11 months, only to return to confront any given Superstar for the promos they've been cutting since the �Rumble. I understand that the Undertaker is getting older and perhaps looking to work a "Brock Lesnar schedule," but we need this program to kick into the next gear by the time Fastlane is over, otherwise there's no juice and therefore it DOESN'T MATTER!

I remember when the New Day vignettes began airing, featuring a revivalist choir and spiritual jaw-jacking regarding the current state of the WWE. It really seemed like this trio would be special, but instead they've become the "Black Job Squad." I hope there's a method to at least some of the madness within the WWE, especially as it relates to Big E, Xavier, and Kofi Kingston. Perhaps they'll lose so much that they grow tired of playing by the rules and revert to the "New Nation" idea we've all speculated on for over a year. Tonight Xavier Woods and Big E Langston are set to go two-on-two against the longest-reigning NXT tag team champions in history, the Ascension. Since debuting on the main roster just two months ago, the Ascension seems to be hitting their stride and working themselves out of the awkward ditch where they were once stuck. The biggest problem with Konnor and Viktor has been their size in relation to some of the biggest stars on the WWE main roster. But the New Day is a perfect transitional team for the Ascension, a smaller-sized group of guys that can help bridge the gap between the Lucha Dragons and the Brass Ring Club. I'm always happy to see the Ascension go over as I see big things for these guys in the near future. The match ended when Konnor and Viktor were able to catch Big E, a former Intercontinental champion, with the "Fall of Man." A three-count later and the Ascension is still riding high toward the tag team titles. I really like the Ascension, despite their obvious downfalls—I'd say this match was darn-near COOKIN'!

Either Daniel Bryan or Roman Reigns will walk into Santa Clara as challenger for the WWE world heavyweight championship; Daniel Bryan will square-off against Roman Reigns this Sunday at Fastlane on the WWE Network—so why was D-Bryan in the opening contest, and why was Reigns featured at the one-hour mark? The champion isn't around, so I don't understand the ideology in not allowing at least one of these Superstars to close the show. At any rate, the next match is ROMAN REIGNS against Luke Harper. The former Intercontinental champion Harper is a strange individual between the ropes, what with his innovative style utilizing both hurricanranas and Gator-rolls. If the idea is to book Roman Reigns against every heel on the roster heading into Wrestlemania, then I'm all for it. Let him wrestle Harper, let him wrestle Barrett, let him wrestle Rusev. Roman Reigns needs further exposure inside the ring as a professional wrestler, regardless of what it takes. Time is the best thing for Roman Reigns right now, but unfortunately he's got 37 days until Wrestlemania. Luke Harper puts him through the ringer, not necessarily by beating him down, but by working at a pace to which Roman needs to adapt. Roman changed the direction of the match with a big Samoan Drop, followed by an attempted Superman Punch. The wily Harper dodged the strike, but Roman pivoted, and caught Luke Harper with a thunderous spear. Another tally-mark in the "V" column for the winner of the 2015 Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns. A decent enough match considering the improvements Reigns has made in just a few short weeks. Luke Harper was phenomenal and I see him playing a much larger villainous role once the torch is finally passed and we enter into a new generation. COOKIN', for sure!

I joke about Kane being old and worn out, but I'm never angry when Kane is on TV. Every time I hear, "Well—well it's the Big Show," I lose my mind! I don't EVER want to see this dude. I sat down last night to watch the WWE's newest DVD release, "Real Giants," featuring some of the largest athletes in wrestling history. Now, I've never been a fan of the superheavyweights, but after watching that documentary, I have a newfound respect for guys just like Paul "The Big Show" Wight. Does that mean I want to see him wrestle? No! He's slow, lumbering, predictable, old, stiff, and disjointed—and that's just his ring-work. I'm also getting sick of listening to the 400+ pound giant on the microphone, touting his own athletic ability every chance he gets. If the Big Show was as good as he says, wouldn't he always be the champion? Why isn't he involved in the world title picture now, if he's such a dominant monster? This dude is famous for breaking a ring, and nothing else. However, if the Big Show is a seven on the 1-to-10 scale of talent, Erick Rowan would be a three. And wouldn't you know it, that's who the Big Show is wrestling tonight on Smackdown! Up until now, this has been a very enjoyable two-hours of television. But this five minutes of brawling following by a two-minute squash match were completely unnecessary, as I have no desire to see Erick Rowan EVER. He's the worst—I'd seriously rather get the Big Show for another ten years, than see Erick Rowan ever win any championship title belt. The match sucked, everything about it was terrible. The worst match of the night was won by the Big Show, and I won't even waste my time telling you why it DOESN'T MATTER!

The obligatory Diva's match is up next, and once again Nikki and Brie Bella have managed to take up residency at ringside. Generally I'd gripe about the repeated guest-commentary spots, but I'm really enjoying the Bellas and what they have to say. The Diva's Division is going through an adjustment phase where a greater emphasis is being placed on ring-work like never before. While both Bellas have managed to improve their bell-to-bell presence, I'm also happy to hear them as they begin to develop defined characters. The match in the ring sees Cameron return to the main roster ring against the number one contender Paige. It's funny how Paige is the only Diva who's been wrestling every week since the start of the New Year, and while I anticipated a train wreck courtesy of Cameron, I was pleasantly surprised to discover what sort of progress she's made since returning to NXT. The Bellas are wearing oversized sunglasses with red frames, claiming that they help reduce the reflection off of Paige's pale skin. Cameron received the brunt of the torture in this bout, as any Diva wrestling Paige over the past few weeks has been a mere prop in her feud with Nikki Bella. Cameron worked economically without risking exposure, however she was successful in several offensive attempts, including a beautiful snap-DDT. Her new style seems more in tune with the current NXT environment, influenced greatly by Sasha Banks, Charlotte, and Becky Lynch, and I hope this means we'll see more from the former-Funkadactyl as time goes by. Paige of course picks up the win, making Cameron tap to her dreaded P.T.O. For the record, "Paige Tap Out" is the worst name for a finishing move since the "Attitude Adjustment."

Back from a commercial break and the Uso's are on the stage doing their tribal dance, as Jimmy is set to go one-on-one with Tyson Kidd. This Sunday Jimmy and Jey will defend the WWE world tag team championships against Tyson and his tag team partner, Cesaro. The trio known as the "Brass Ring Club" also includes Tyson's wife Natalya, standing at ringside during this highly anticipated grudge match. The bout is quickly underway, but just as soon as the action would begin, Rusev made his presence felt in a major way. The "Bulgarian Brute" arrived on the scene and dismantled both Tyson Kidd and Jimmy Uso, before turning his attention to Jimmy's brother Jey. Rusev single-handedly demolished both tag team champions despite their best efforts. A number of stiff kicks to both brothers, and Rusev stormed outside the ring where he commandeered a live mic and proceeded to rant in what I believe must have been Bulgarian. Of the dozens of foreign phrases tucked away in his slurred speech, the only two words I recognized were "John" and "Cena." This past Monday night, the Doctor of Thuganomics paid a special house-call where he was forced to sedate Rusev with a fury of rights and lefts. This evening's display of dominance was Rusev's receipt, as clearly the United States Champion isn't concerned going into this weekend's Fastlane. Will John Cena be the first man to defeat Rusev? Or will Rusev managed to destroy Cena just as he has did the Big Show, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, Sheamus, and countless others?

I've already voiced my displeasure as to how the number one contenders are forced to work the undercard, but the main event was a Sports Entertainment spectacle, nonetheless. Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins met this past Monday night, but the "Show-Off" was soon thwarted by the combination of Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. Tonight's match features a stipulation whereby J&J Security are BARRED from ringside! Dolph Ziggler is the first man to arrive, soon joined by his opponent, an exceptionally lonely-looking Seth Rollins. Since debuting on the main roster, Seth has never been on his own, whether flanked by the Shield or followed by the Authority, Rollins generally rolls pretty deep. The action gets started with the Show-Off vanquishing the dastardly Rollins to the outside, where they continue waging their war until making their way back between the ropes. A commercial break later, and suddenly Seth is in control with Dolph locked firmly in a headlock. On the outside of the ring, Kane and the Big Show fill in for the barred security team, while Ryback and Rowan are on hand to see that the odds are even. Ziggler sought to sink Seth with a DDT, but was instead repositioned into a powerbomb predicament, which he then re-countered for a sit-down powerbomb-pin of his own. Rollins kicked out, but Ziggler followed up with a Fame-asser for a near-fall. Rollins spilled to the outside where he was then in the direct trajectory of Erick Rowan and Ryback, but was immediately drawn back into the bout by Dolph. The match continued inside, with both the Authority and Dolph's friends lobbying to interject. Finally, Ziggler spring-boarded off the top, but was once again caught by Rollins for a powerbomb. This time the "Architect" was able to heave the "Show-Off" directly into the turnbuckle at full speed. He followed up with a Curb Stomp, earning the victory as he prepares for—uh, no match at Fastlane. Once the bell sounded, the "Stooges" joined the rest of the Authority, which sparked an idea in Rollins. "There's five of us," he said, "And there's three on them." The hounds began to circle their prey as the babyfaces stood back-to-back preparing for a battle. They fought them off as long as they could, but would eventually succumb to the inevitable. Despite another rousing effort on behalf of Ryback, the Authority would win the match and the day, going into Memphis this Sunday with their heads held high.

This week's episode of "Countdown" on the WWE Network featured the "Top 10 Moments from Smackdown," wherein dozens of WWE Legends and current Superstars discussed Smackdown as being the "wrestling show" for the WWE. While I'm happy to hear so many people verify what we already knew, I'm kind of irritated that a wrestling company recognizes how little wrestling there is on Raw, and chooses to do nothing about it. I guess it's a matter of "different strokes for different folks," as I know a handful of people who much prefer the campy monologues of Monday night to the 20-minutes matches on Thursday. I thought this was a fine episode overall, but failed to hit on all cylinders the way WWE ought to be during Wrestlemania season. Let's hope for the best going into the "free-per-view" on Sunday. Until next time, this has been Mark Adam Haggerty with "What's Cookin' & What Doesn't Matter."

http://www.cheap-heat.com/hunchamania-royal-rumble-2015-predictions/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/hunchamania-royal-rumble-2015-predictions/#comments Sun, 25 Jan 2015 04:37:38 +0000 Gary Mastriano Blogs Other Blogs Adam Rose Alberto Del Rio Antonio Cesaro Big E Big Show Billy Gunn Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Cesaro Chris Jericho Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan DDP Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler HBK Jey Uso Jimmy Uso John Cena Kidd Kofi Kingston Konnor Miz MizDow Natalya New Age Outlaws New Day Nikki Bella Paige Randy Orton Road Dogg Roman Reigns Royal Rumble RVD Seth Rollins Shawn Michaels Sheamus Steve Austin The Ascension The Bella Twins The Miz The New Day The Usos Tyson Kidd Undertaker Viktor Wrestlemania WWE Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9242 Royal Rumble Predictions   Pre show-Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose vs the New Day There has been a nice little feud developing between the new day and the Party Masters (stable name copyright Gary Mastriano 2015). Not really sure why they are feuding, but it feels like a good old fashioned mid card feud […]

Royal Rumble Predictions

Pre show-Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose vs the New Day
There has been a nice little feud developing between the new day and the Party Masters (stable name copyright Gary Mastriano 2015). Not really sure why they are feuding, but it feels like a good old fashioned mid card feud from the late 90s. I suspect a New Day win, and all that all 6 of these men will show up in the Rumble later on in the night. Adam Rose will have a comedy spot, probably involving the being thrown over the top rope and caught by his posse only to be dropped by the Bunny. And I cannot imagine a Rumble without a crazy Kofi spot.

The Ascension vs the New Age Outlaws
I think this match may open the show with a guaranteed crowd pleasing Outlaws pop. This feud kind of came together last minute last Monday. The Ascension has struggled to get over on the main roster and a feud with the Outlaws may be the way to do it. I don't know about you guys but I thought Billy Gunn looked great on Raw. The Outlaws proved last year that they could still go, so I suspect a fun little match that won't take up much time. The Ascension needs and gets the win here.

The Bellas vs Paige and Natalya
Did TNA have women's tag champions? I wonder if that would ever work in WWE. With the increase in talented ladies I think it may be worth a shot. Paige and Natalya, easily the top workers in the Divas division, make an awesome tag team. Niki Bella's in ring work was a pleasant surprise in the second half of 2014, therefore I think this COULD be a good match. However I don't see this match getting much time either, like most Diva's matches. I am not sure why WWE doesn't give their ladies more time to shine, especially their Total Diva stars who can actually wrestle. The Bellas steal a victory here, possibly leading to Fatal Four way at WrestleMania for the title.

Damien Mizdow and the Miz vs the Usos
I've seen people predicting the demise of the Miz/Mizdow for months. I think the WWE will continue to run with duo until Mania season. I think Miz and Mizdow will have a ton of fun in the Rumble match later on in the night, with the seeds of a break up happening there. I find it interesting that every under card match is a tag match, and not a single match on the entire PPV is a one on one contest.This has been another fun mid card feud. But with the Mizdow break up on the horizon, I cannot see the Usos losing in this one. They will hopefully move on to a well-deserved spot on the WrestleMania card proper.

Royal Rumble Match
I have spent the last week rewatching every Rumble match ever in anticipation of this one. I have noticed there are 2 types of Rumble match- one where the winner is extremely obvious (HBK in 96, Austin in 98, Orton in 09), and another with a much wider field of potential winners (Taker in 07, Del Rio in 11, Sheamus in 12). Obviously the latter is a much more fun match. This year I would say fits into that category. The top 2 choices have to be Reigns and Bryan. Bryan has been getting the most Rumble based storylines heading into Sunday, while Reigns has only mentioned that he wants to win while being occupied with the Big Show. While these two are the front runners, and have the most upside to winning, there are actually a few other candidates.

-Dolph Ziggler has to be considered the #3 choice to win the Rumble. He is on a spectacular roll the past few months, and is finally getting the push that he and many other think he deserves. Ziggler has always connected with the crowd, and delivered in the ring. Now he is finally involved in a main event storyline that has made him one of the top faces in the company. I would not be surprised at all to see him have a surprise Cinderella win.

-Dean Ambrose is another face on the verge of superstardom. Having Ambrose win the Rumble may be a better play than his Shield brother Reigns. Reigns may not be ready to main event WrestleMania yet, nor may Ambrose for that matter. But a failed Ambrose push is easier for WWE, and the Lunatic Fringe himself, to recover from. Pushing Reigns too soon may result in a Randy Orton 2004 situation.

-Bray Wyatt has been rumored to face the Undertaker in March for months. I for one have ZERO interest in seeing that match. Undertaker's in ring career died with the streak, and nor he or Wyatt benefit from a feud together. Wyatt could be a surprise winner of the Rumble leading to a potential rematch at Mania with Cena, this time for the WWE championship?
As for some other Rumble highlights, I think we will see Ziggler and/or Ambrose be the long man this year putting in great work. After Smackdown this week I believe we will see Ambrose be the first entrant. I am sure we will see a few great surprise entrants to delight the Philly crowd. If I had to guess I would say DDP, RVD, and maybe even Jericho show up Sunday.
Needless to say there are a ton of options for potential winners at this year's Royal Rumble. It is really difficult to pick a winner, especially between Bryan and Reigns. I really cannot pick a winner, but I personally want Daniel Bryan to win, so I will go with him.

WWE Title- Brock Lesnar vs Seth Rollins vs John Cena
Just like the Rumble match, the WWE title match is wide open. I could see any of these three men walk out of Philadelphia with the strap. Cena is always a safe bet to carry the strap into Mania. Seth Rollins has the insurance of the briefcase on his side. But I cannot imagine Brock Lesnar losing anywhere but WrestleMania. Lesnar has been built up like too much of a monster. His victory over Undertaker pretty much assures that whoever beats him will be a made man. Sure fantasy booking can tell you that Lesnar can win the match, only to lose to Seth Rollins, but I see Rollins walking into Mania with the case still intact (although I don't think HE will leave with it…). Lesnar gets the W here in a match I am eagerly anticipating.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-royal-rumble-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-royal-rumble-2015/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2015 05:10:54 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Adam Rose Bad News Barrett Bella Twins Big E Big Show Billy Gunn Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Cesaro Cody Rhodes Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Fandango Goldust J&J Security Jey Uso Jimmy Uso John Cena Kane Kidd Kofi Kingston Konnor Luke Harper Mike Chioda MizDow Money in the Bank Natalya New Age Outlaws New Day Night of Champions Nikki Bella NXT Paige R-Truth Randy Orton Rey Mysterio Ric Flair Rick Rude Ring of Honor Road Dogg Royal Rumble Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Smackdown Stardust Ted DiBiase The Ascension The Miz The Usos TLC Total Divas Tyson Kidd Viktor Vince McMahon Wrestlemania WWE Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9209 Educated Guess: Royal Rumble 2015 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty It's the most wonderful time of the year! When the belt is defended—the mayhem is splendid! As �Mania draws near! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Ladies and gentlemen we are approaching our first stop on the "Road to Wrestlemania." Please gather your […]

Educated Guess:
Royal Rumble 2015
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
When the belt is defended—the mayhem is splendid!
As �Mania draws near! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Ladies and gentlemen we are approaching our first stop on the "Road to Wrestlemania." Please gather your belongings as we head into the home of hardcore wrestling. Philadelphia has been the site of some magnificent moments in the history of this great sport, and this Sunday the "City of Brotherly Love" will once again host a groundbreaking event like none other. This will be the 28th annual Royal Rumble extravaganza, and for some the stakes couldn't be higher. Brock Lesnar will walk into the Wells Fargo Center with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but who will be in possession of the title by the end of the night? And what's more intriguing—who will challenge the champion for the precious prize once we're out of the "Fast Lane," and safely inside Levi's Stadium? There are six scheduled matches this weekend, including a preliminary six-man tag and the Royal Rumble battle royal. Who's going to win? Well I can't predict the future, but I can most certainly venture an Educated Guess.

New Day vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, & Adam Rose
Before I begin, there are quite a few tag matches this evening, huh? Everything outside of the �Rumble and the triple threat are tag team bouts. Seems mildly excessive, although I guess this could be Vince's answer to critics claiming tag team wrestling is dead. "Then we'll give �em four tag matches, damn it!" This match will go on during what use to be known as the Free-for-All, the preshow exclusively available on the WWE Network. Last month I watched TLC from a local tavern that was playing the event over regular old cable TV. I was dumbfounded to discover the preshow for pay-per-view audiences features Scott Stanford in the WWE's Connecticut Headquarters, versus the live panel and opening contest you see on the WWE Network. Here we will have the chance to watch the highly talented trio known as the New Day head up against the hodgepodge conglomeration of Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose. I really like the latter three, especially Adam Rose as I think now is the time for Leo Kruger to make his violent return. He's been teasing nuances of his former persona for weeks, and since teaming with Tyson and Cesaro we've seen a ruthless side of Adam Rose, the likes of which we've not be privy since the early days of NXT. Although my favorite team is that belonging to the Swiss Superman, I'll have to go with Big E, Xavier Woods, and Kofi Kingston inside a quick 5 minute match. I don't expect it to go much longer than that, as the Royal Rumble panel is promised to be quite an affair in itself.
Educated Guess: The New Day

The New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension
It's hard to tell what's going on with Konnor and Viktor. The Ascension appear completely clueless on TV each week, lacking any self-awareness as to how ridiculous and outdated their entire gimmick truly is. What was it they said to a ring full of Legends and Hall of Famers? "Born and bred to rip and shred?" Something like that? Come on—this has to be a rib! Could this be the most tongue-in-cheek booking the WWE's attempted since the Attitude Era? Allow the Ascension to demolish each and every enhancement talent on their way to the top, only to lose whenever they face a legitimate team. And I don't mean a physically imposing team, I mean like… Los Matadores. Or have Too Cool come back again only to snap the Ascension back into shape. But where does that lead? Unfortunately I think the Ascension has fallen victim to an all-too-common ailment known colloquially as "Not Having It"—according to Vince McMahon. I mentioned in a previous article the rumors circulating regarding Vince's hidden agenda to dismiss Triple H's NXT all-stars; since arriving in the WWE the Ascension seems to have gotten goofier by the week. I don't think there's any way the Ascension walks away with a victory. I think this will be a short match with Road Dogg's usual dancing spiel and Billy Gunn's "Fame-Asser" for the win. If the Ascension does happen to emerge with their hands held high, I'll be surprised and highly impressed with the WWE for putting a younger gamble ahead of a worn-out guarantee.
Educated Guess: The New Age Outlaws

The Bella Twins vs. Paige & Natalya
As far as the main roster, there aren't two Divas more formidable than the duo of Paige and Natalya. Both come from decorated wrestling royalty in Canada and the UK respectively, and are without question the most technically-sound women the WWE features on either Raw or Smackdown. I don't think there's any Diva in the locker room who could tangle with either woman in a shoot fight, but this isn't fighting, this is professional wrestling—that's why Nikki Bella is the champion. And what a magnificent champion she really is. Both Bellas have come an extraordinarily long way since starting with no wrestling credentials to their name, but especially Nikki. This time last year I think we'd all agree that Brie is the more mat-savvy of the two, but within the last twelve months Nikki has found herself and hit her stride between the ropes. She plays the classic heel archetype perfectly, the same as Ted DiBiase or even Ric Flair. She has a defined skillset that she puts on display when it's at her advantage, but would much rather win a match through trickery and deceit. I see her cower when her opponents loom near, and it makes me think of how many times Rick Rude would walk around the ring before he was finally set to meet his adversary head-on. I think Nikki is one of the most successful female heels in modern WWE history because the heat she garners comes from a genuine place. While I don't think either Brie or her championship twin sister could hold a candle to their thoroughbred rivals, I imagine the Diva's title holder will be on the winning side of this encounter when the night is through.
Educated Guess: The Bella Twins

WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos (c) vs. Miz & Mizdow
In case you haven't had your share of comradery and team-work, the next match is—another tag match! This time however, the gold is on the line. Or the bronze. Can we talk about this for a moment? How hideous are those tag team titles. I'm hoping Cody Rhodes returns to his �Dashing' former self, wins the tag titles with someone equally tailored, and proceeds to exchange another gaudy piece of shit for the classic design. Seriously, I don't like to use profanity in my writing but those belts are just the worst. Absolutely dreadful, why would anyone want them? They're not even the real tag titles that can be traced back to 1971, they're apart of the fake lineage started in 2002 with Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. That's complete and utter horse-shit. So about this match—I really do love tag team wrestling; I think we can all agree that tag matches tend to be faster paced thanks to the various combatants involved. I heard a stat courtesy of Bryan Alvarez on Wrestling Observer Radio, stating that this will be twenty-some-odd times that these two teams have battled since the beginning of their rivalry. I imagine this has to be the final blow-off, because their feud has reached a point where options are limited. The Usos need to start working with another tag team, perhaps Cesaro and Kidd, while the Miz and Mizdow focus on the inevitable break-up program they'll work heading into �Mania.
Educated Guess: The Usos

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Brock Lesnar has only wrestled five matches in the past year, four of which he won, the other he lost by disqualification. Outside of his lackluster blowout with the Big Show at last year's �Rumble, each of Brock's matches has been marred with uncertainty. Of course nobody expected the "Beast" to break the Streak at Wrestlemania in New Orleans. And who could have predicted the way he demolished John Cena at both Summerslam and Night of Champions? This match is just as precarious but brings with it the added element of a third participant—Seth Rollins. I wrote a feature article here at Cheap-Heat, in which I explored the three most plausible outcomes for this match, with a different man emerging victorious in each scenario. While I could make a case for anybody to leave Philadelphia with the championship belt, I think the smart bet is with Mr. Money in the Bank. The only strike Seth has against him is never having held the world title before. Otherwise I think he'd be a much stronger favorite amongst odds makers. I think the most likely situation would feature Seth as a sacrificial lamb, slaughtered from bell to bell by both John Cena and Brock Lesnar, until Cena pulls out an upset by pinning Rollins rather than Lesnar. As any Beast would do, Brock loses his mind and decimates Cena for stealing the championship that nobody could beat him for. Brock then walk out, leaving Seth inside the squared-circle standing across from a dismantled 16-time world champion. With J&J screaming from the sidelines, Seth hands his briefcase to Mike Chioda, and then Lilian Garcia lets us know that Seth Rollins is cashing in his Money in the Bank. It's a predictable proposal that everybody's already pitched, but outside of a clean victory for either John Cena or Brock Lesnar, I think this is Seth's best shot.
Educated Guess: John Cena and then Seth Rollins

The 2015 Royal Rumble
As of my writing this on Friday January 23rd, there have only been seventeen of a total thirty competitors announced for the �Rumble including: Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, Rusev, Bad News Barrett, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Stardust, Big Show, Kane, The Miz, Mizdow, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, Fandango, and Luke Harper. Not among those listed is of course Erick Rowan who failed to defeat Luke Harper in his qualifying match on Smackdown. Who might fill the additional thirteen empty spots? I'd guess a handful of legends, probably one if not all of the commentators, and potentially the return of Randy Orton. In the mystical fantasy that is my everyday thinking, I'd really like to see some surprise returns from Superstars long-since gone. Maybe Rey Mysterio will be met with more jubilant fanfare this year, as long as he doesn't "steal" Daniel Bryan's spot again. I guess I might as well get down to my prediction as to who's going to win the Royal Rumble and headline Wrestlemania in Santa Clara. After much consideration and weighing the options, I think we will see a final four consisting of Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns, and Kane. The final two, after having vanquished the diabolical heels, will be Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Now I could definitely see a Royal Rumble 1994 situation, whereby both individuals fall out of the ring simultaneously, therefore each getting a shot at the belt in the Bay Area. But if I had to choose one winner—I say, "Yes! Yes Yes!" to Daniel Bryan winning the Royal Rumble. As the moments wane and the battle wages, Bryan will use his size and agility to outwrestle and outwit the imposing Samoan with the Superman Punch. Daniel Bryan might also present the greatest number of possibilities as far as championship opponents. If Brock retains, Daniel can play David to his Goliath and overcome the odds. If Cena becomes a 16-time champion, the WWE can play on their real life friendship that's already been exhibited on Total Divas. And if Seth wins his first WWE World Heavyweight title, we'll see two former Ring of Honor champions wrestling on the biggest platform in the entire sport. I think Bryan and Brock would have a phenomenal match; I think Bryan and Cena would have an interesting program; but I can't come up with anything more intense than Daniel Bryan challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event at Wrestlemania 31.
Educated Guess: Daniel Bryan

Though the �Rumble might seem fairly predictable, the outcome of the title match is still anybody's guess. And just because we assume to know who's walking out of Philly the winner, there's always the chance Batista could come back and win it instead. Seriously though, Bryan and Reigns have been tapped for success, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the high octane excitement of a 30-man battle royal. I'm very much looking forward to this Sunday's event as the Royal Rumble is usually one of the best pay-per-views of the year. Remember you can catch all the action through your local cable or satellite providers, or by signing up for the WWE Network for just $9.99. I'm fairly certain the �Network is available in most places, so nobody has an excuse not to check out the 28th annual Royal Rumble. Thank you for joining me again, and I'll see you next month with my Educated Guess about "Fast Lane!"

http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-2/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-2/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2015 04:55:42 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Adam Rose Andre the Giant Bad News Barrett bellator Big E BNB Bray Wyatt Brock Lesnar Bunny Cesaro Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Erick Rowan HHH Hulk Hogan John Cena Kane Leo Kruger NXT Owen Hart Papa Shango RAW Rosebuds Ryback Seth Rollins Shawn Michaels Stephanie McMahon The Authority Triple H Tyson Kidd UFC Vince McMahon Wade Barrett WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8620 Highlight of the Night The Top Moments from Raw Written by Mark Adam Haggerty If the devil is in the details then I'd like to meet the sanctimonious show-runner responsible for keeping up continuity. After last week's landmark effort I was convinced the WWE had turned a creative corner, but unfortunately I was again too […]

Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

If the devil is in the details then I'd like to meet the sanctimonious show-runner responsible for keeping up continuity. After last week's landmark effort I was convinced the WWE had turned a creative corner, but unfortunately I was again too quick to jump the gun. Let me first preface this week's edition of "The Highlight of the Night" by saying I had to scour tonight's card in order to find Five Moments that weren't utter disappointments. The in-ring action was scarce to say the least, however the matches we did see were ripe with staged high-spots and sensational desperation. Why would the WWE book an entire three-hour broadcast around The Authority? I fear the Creative Powers might be attempting to swerve the WWE Universe on an incredibly lofty scale—of which the size might prove too much to balance, thus alienating a large segment of long-time fans. Whatever the case may be it's my job to report on the events as they happen, and if this episode of Monday Night Raw did anything—it happened. Let's get right to it and break down The Top Five Moments that I didn't completely hate.

5. A Triple Threat Saves the Day

Ironically enough my Fifth Moment of the Night might have actually been the most important thing that happened during the entire broadcast. The second Raw hit the airways, we the viewer were privy to an enormous sea of WWE Superstars flooding the twenty-by-twenty squared circle. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder inside the ring and of course the first thing I thought was, "Oh I hope Vince McMahon is coming out to give a �Ruthless Aggression' speech." But it was the King of Kings and The Billion Dollar Princess set to regale the guys and gals with the new law of the land. I'm not so keen on segments depicting heroes and villains intermingling like average employees working in some office building. The human-resource skits in which Triple H scolds Superstars in front of one another are entirely too reminiscent of "Office Space" and makes me see the members of the main roster as human beings which can prove to be problematic to the product. People use to see Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant as Super Heroes and that's where hyperbolic terms like "Superstar" came from. Nobody ever fired Andre the Giant and made him cry; nobody ever beat up Hulk Hogan's dad; nobody ever wrangled an entire locker room of WWF athletes and lifted the curtain for the world to watch. Call me old fashioned, I just think there are ways to evolve without sacrificing key fundamentals. However though it may be dim, there is some sun peeking out from behind that cloud, in the form of Triple H announcing the WWE World Heavyweight Title match at The Royal Rumble will now be a Triple Threat—with Seth Rollins. Huge news no matter how you feel because this will be the first major opportunity for Rollins to take home the gold. And if you recall, Seth is currently in possession of the Money in the Bank briefcase meaning he could conceivably lose the match and then try for a second pin after incapacitating the winner. It's also important because it breaks up the monotony of Cena versus Lesnar which I, for one, am sick of seeing. I think Lesnar will more than likely retain when the night is at an end, but anything is possible considering The Beast Incarnate is said to already be in talks with both UFC and Bellator.

4. Party Time All the Time

During what amounted to an all-around impressive outing between Big E and Adam Rose, I couldn't help but think, "Wouldn't it be funny if I put this match on my list." I've been convinced for weeks now that Adam Rose is but a guise constructed for Leo Kruger to gain the trust of the WWE Universe. His attitude and mannerisms have been completely-Kruger and I was sincerely impressed with what he offered during this matchup with the New Day's resident Powerhouse. I wasn't actually planning to list them as a Top Moment of the Night though, are you crazy? But then something spectacular happened when two faceless Rosebuds entered the ring and proceeded to demolish Big E and The New Day on behalf of Adam Rose. Despite ongoing reports of NXT talent debuting as The Bunny, these Rosebuds were none other than Tyson Kidd and Cesaro. I don't know what this means for the two highly-skilled singles stars, and question whether it's the beginning of an alliance with Rose or rather retaliation against The New Day. If the team of Kidd and Cesaro can absorb this momentum and continue forward at a top rate of speed I have no doubts that we could be looking at the next WWE Tag Team Champions. Finally, I think it could be time for Adam Rose to ditch the rest of the Party Posse and send them back to the Exotic Express. Unless he insists upon fixing his gimmick soon, I fear it may be too late and he will forever be relegated to Santino Marella Territory.

3. The Ambulance That Looked Like Papa Shango

Okay let's put the brakes on and address the inconspicuous voodoo shaman in the room—am I the only one who thought the ambulance looked like Papa Shango? I know I'm not because there were a ton of tweets regarding the same exact Magic Eye that I seemed to be drawn to—and it wasn't a sailboat! Anyway, let's discuss this match. There was a lot of WWE-hate going into this contest as all across Twitter, smarks rang out with their collective complaint: "They're billing this as the first ambulance match but there have been ambulance matches before." Oh Internet Wrestling Community how quick you are to disregard what's right in front of you! This match was in fact billed as the, "First-ever Ambulance Match on Monday Night Raw." Now as far as that being true I have no idea, it's just been bugging me since the match was first announced. Uh—not much to say except what a waste of time and an utter detriment to both Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose, not just as men but as enthralling TV characters. I guess I shouldn't be surprised as we here in The �States see Raw on the USA Network, known for their �Characters' and the absurd situations in which they find themselves. I was just hoping the bogusness of Barely Legal wouldn't bleed through into something I treat like a religion. I thought they went to the ambulance a little too fast, although in a �shoot' Ambulance Match I assume the number one priority would be getting to the Ambulance so no logistical qualm with that. I refuse to believe there are any white folding tables with big red crosses painted on the top being used in the world of legitimate medicine. What the hell purpose would they serve, other than to maybe hand out vaccines but the TRUCK-LOAD? But that can't be what they're for because this was taped in The United States of Vaccinations, not Azerbaijan! So once again, I want to know what's up with these painstakingly comical pieces of furniture. Perhaps they're commonplace among the colleagues of Dr. Amman, but I think it's more likely they were spray painted white as an afterthought, and then Vince saw them and said, "Put a big red cross on �em, that'll look official." Though the match itself was overly-scripted and saturated with weaponry, the feud between Ambrose and Wyatt appears to be reaching a boiling point and I'm happy Bray walked away victorious. I assume the two will meet once more at The Royal Rumble, although to what end I cannot predict. Maybe there's a bigger match on the horizon or even some sort of spot in the �Rumble itself. I just hope Dean gets a singles win on pay-per-view in 2015.

2. Bad News for Dolph Ziggler Fans

Don't be a jerk and ask me to pick a match of the night because it would have to be a default drawing and the winner would likely be Bad News Barrett versus Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship. What is up with the IC belt nowadays, I mean does anybody give a damn about it anymore? It's been passed around more freely than an unmarked orange bottle of pills at E.D.C. and once again a new champion has been crowned "King of the Inter-continents." The WWE has become unquestionably predictable and as soon as this one-fall matchup was kicked back into gear as a two-out-of-three falls contest, I knew we'd see Bad News Barrett walk away champion. The best fall was the third as the first was rushed in an apparent effort to have Kane come down to announce the added stipulation. And the second was a squash serving only to tie the score at one victory-a-piece. WWE Superstars are such peculiar character specimens, just as I mentioned before with Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose. Take Bad News Barrett for example: he was a heel who went away due to injury and garnered an impressive following, he returned on Raw last week to seemingly defend the WWE Universe against Cesaro, and now he's being pushed like any brute-force bad guy doing the bidding for The Authority. It goes back to what I said initially about consistency and this company's inability to monitor its own program. I'm extremely happy for Bad News as I consider him a far more deserving champion and a more lucrative team player than Ziggler. I thought the match was well contested despite the twists that made the action nearly impossible to follow. I've said it before and I'll say it now with a little bit more conviction: the WWE needs to get rid of Glen "Kane" Jacobs as soon as they can get him on a plane to Stanford. He's outlived his usefulness and it's only a matter of time before he starts costing more money than he's bringing in. Plus there was so much Kane on this show, especially during matches such as this that should only rely on the chemistry between those involved. An earnest effort on behalf of Dolph Ziggler and the New Intercontinental Champion, but hardly worth a re-watch.

1. Let's Get to Those Consequences

The WWE never ceases to amaze me in their segmented approach to storytelling. I can't remember the last time I listed anything other than the final moments of Raw as Number One here on "The Highlight of the Night." It's consistently the most compelling piece of business on the card which isn't a good thing when there are barren pockets of airspace in every single episode of TV. However, as much as I'd like to see a contract signing or hostage negotiation placed somewhere else on the show, tonight's finale was fitting and couldn't have happened at any other time aside from the final fifteen minutes of Raw. Let's get the cringe-worthiness out of the way right now: "You're fired." Okay is everybody done shaking out the shudders? I think it's a safe bet we'll see all three Superstars by the time the Rumble gets here in less than a month. So either they're going to spin this program in a way that makes no sense, or they're going to keep three rising stars off the second-maybe-third biggest show of the year. It was far too goofy for what I'd like to see from the WWE in 2015, and made an otherwise humorous few moments feel awkward. As for "Cena Appreciation Night"—I love John Cena so in my house, every night is John Cena Appreciation Night! I've heard some rather harsh criticisms regarding Mr. Cena's acting in the waning moments of television, but I thought he was as good as ever. If you're really setting aside time to take shots at a wrestler's acting ability on Monday Night Raw, then perhaps you'd better assess what you actually enjoy about pro wrestling because your priorities seem to be a bit skewed. I loved the final seconds of Raw, and laughed like a lunatic during the initial music cue that brought hundreds of balloons down upon the WWE Universe. Just as John Cena's friends are fired, Stephanie and Triple H present the Doctor of Thuganomics with the big thumbs up and a rousing rendition of Stars and Stripes Forever—What a brilliant moment in wresting comedy that didn't need to be edited or altered. It was perfect and helped to add an exclamation point to an otherwise boring string of sentences.

When I can't come up with anything to say as relates to the matter at hand I usually cop out and share a personal anecdote. The first time I was allowed to "stay up late" and watch Monday Night Raw was the episode in which Shawn Michaels collapsed after receiving an educated kick care of "The King of Harts" Owen Hart. What a captivating way to engage an audience, especially younger viewers such as myself who were far more convinced of Kayfabe. I'm not asking the WWE to send "Stone Cold" into someone's house with a gun or to blow up another limousine, I'm simply yearning for the same unpredictability that had me hooked as a third grader in 1995. I think I sold everyone on my disdain for tonight's Raw already, so I don't see a need for any sort of snappy send-off. This episode was atrocious and I'm only hoping it was some sort of seat-filling train wreck that needn't be referenced going forward. The Royal Rumble is less than three weeks away and nothing has been announced other than a Triple Threat Title match and a few entries in the �Rumble itself. Can the WWE pick up the pace in promoting one of the Big Four Events, or will they fall flat just as they did with the Survivor Series? Ladies and gentlemen my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, join me next week to discuss what I'm hoping against hope shan't be another abysmal failure on behalf of the "Leader in Sports Entertainment."