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http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-october-12th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-october-12th-2015/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2015 02:32:16 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews Alicia Fox and I'm like Becky Lynch Braun Strowman Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Cesaro Charlotte Dean Ambrose Demon Kane Dolph Ziggler Jack Swagger John Cena Kalisto Kane Kevin Owens King Barrett Lana Monday Night RAW Naomi Neville Nikki Bella October 12th 2015 Randy Orton Raw review Roman Reigns Rusev Sasha Banks Sheamus Summer Rae The Ascension The Authority The Dudleyz Undertaker http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14564 This week has been a little slow at the restaurant, I’m thinking it was the nice weather over the weekend. My brother went in for open heart surgery this morning and from the looks of it everything went as smooth as it could have. He is heavily sedated until tomorrow, so I will probably visit […]

This week has been a little slow at the restaurant, I’m thinking it was the nice weather over the weekend. My brother went in for open heart surgery this morning and from the looks of it everything went as smooth as it could have. He is heavily sedated until tomorrow, so I will probably visit then. Those were the ‘exciting’ things that happened in my life, oh and for and update, the homeless kid is now going to the high school. We were able to talk to teachers and keep tabs on him. He will get a meal and a ride to school if he shows up at 7 A.M. everyday, let’s hope this keeps up!

Raw Opening

• Kane is alone in the Authority’s office. They say they won’t make it until way late and want to know if Kane has it all under control.
• First off, if you are the show runners, and our head figures of a company, and said company has a flagship show that you are in charge of that basically generates the business needed to get your product out there. Why on earth would you not be at that show? Secondly, if you can’t make it but have set up a system to take care of itself in your absence, I can understand using that system. It’s proven that their system is ‘Let Kane run it” and Kane has proven to let his emotions control the show continuously. Why on earth would you trust your program or product with an incompetent employee? For real, as business owners or show runners the Authority is the shits.
• Stephanie is yelling at someone over the phone, ‘don’t make me learn your name’ HOLY SHIT! I don’t care who you are or how rich you are, that is some mean verbiage. We are all people, just have different jobs that bring in different streams of income. Sometimes we don’t have jobs, but we are all here. I don’t know, maybe cause I work in the service industry I am vehemently against the ‘better than thou’ stuff.

And I’m Like… Corporate Kane is running the show and puts himself in a lumberjack match against Seth Rollins, right after he said he would be professional. Now the talking point for the entire show is “Is Kane professional?”

Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton Promo

• Dean says that HHH is running late so ‘the inmates are running the asylum’ like in Gotham this year. He says he is in the mood for a fight and Orton comes out. Orton has a mic and verbally blows Chicago. Chicago is the typical male and reciprocates with a “Let’s go Cubs” not an “RKO”
• Orton says that Ambrose and himself will face Harper and Braun. Ambrose says he will lead the way cause he knows how to fight Wyatts, Randy says he was hearing voices when Dean showed up.
• This is a fight about trust and who can beat the Wyatts better, and who should lead the team…

New Day Promo

• New Day comes out to “New Day Rocks” not “New DayRocks” lol Chicago
• New Day is talking about how they slayed last week, they are upset Orton and Ambrose talk about the Wyatts and not them.
• My cousin who the other day told me that “Sasha and Bayley wasn’t that good, I don’t care what the crowd or anyone else thinks. We knew how it was gonna end, it shoulda been that Asian girl.” In that same conversation he brought up how he loves The New Day after last weeks beat down cause “I didn’t see that coming.” This is a cousin who buys shirts, dvd’s, and has the Network. He is part of the audience WWE targets and it baffles me how he enjoys wrestling in a different way than I do.
• New Day brings up the fact that they decimated legends and future hall of famers, they say people can “Neva eva, eva eva, eva eva, get on their level.
• They bring up the fact that what they did last week has ever been done. Not by The Shield, The Authority, Evolution, Legacy. They laugh at Orton for being what they dub a ‘groupie’ cause he was in so many factions.
• “Out with the old and in with the New Day” They mention Derrick Rose and get boo’s before they even say anything about him.
• Kane gets on the Titantron, “Inmates are not running the asylum tonight.. I am.”

New Day vs. Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose

• Xavier is doing great as a manager. I love when they are subtle about things, like when Ambrose runs to the ropes, Xavier acts as if he is about to trip Dean up. It is nice to have that threat of a third man, and not just a cheerleader or distraction finish instigator.
• We come back from commercial and Orton has Kofi in a rebound suplex. Cole tells us the story is that Orton and Ambrose are working well together. Good thing he does that, now I don’t have to pay attention to the story the wrestlers are telling, or the match then…
• How can you convey sarcasm in text?
• Big E beats on Randy Orton and does his fun little hip gyration with musical accompaniment by Xavier Woods
• I wish we could label the ‘smart crowds’ so we can get a Bret Hart ’97 type thing. See in ’97 Bret was anti-America but pro-Canada, so every time they were in America it was boo’s, if they were in Canada cheers. What I’m saying is, if we could label certain cities (Chicago, New York, Philly) as ‘smart crowds’, they could play up some ‘away game’ like storylines with the good guys on the show. “Randy Orton and Ambrose will be in Chicago next week, and we all know Chicago likes to give them a very hard time for being themselves.” Then when people hear John Cena or Ryback getting boo’d they can be like “that’s evil Chicago”
• I want to thank New Day for starting the “clap clapclap” chant thing, whenever I’m in a store, I clap like that just in hopes that a wrestling fan will hear it and get excited!
• Xavier has certain song snippets to go along with certain moves that Kofi and Big E do, I thought that the trombone thing would get old fast, but Xavier is able to keep it fresh weekly.
• Big E hits a shoulderblock on Orton and does Ortons extended arm pose but with a hip gyration.
• Big E goes for the outside dive and hits the floor hard, the hot tag happens to Ambrose and the crowd livens up a bit. Tag matches are hard in cities with the ‘evil crowds’. I wish smart fans would know the story the WWE tries to tell and boo and cheer accordingly sometimes, like yeah do your New Day chants, but boo when E does the Orton taunt, clap when Orton is in the reverse chin lock. That’s just me being greedy with my wrestling experiences.
• When Orton does his signature moves and taunts the crowd answers his every cue. It makes the match seem so much more exciting, New Day steals the pin mid moves of doom and robs Chicago of the RKO. That get’s boo’s.

And I’m Like… that was nice. Some of the top performers in the industry putting on an entertaining wrestling match. Cole told us what the story was, I thought it was like that too except he forgot to mention that New Day won cause they are a team and know where each other is at, while Orton and Ambrose are more solo minded men and that’s why they had miscommunication. Let’s hope they can find a groove as a team before they face the Wyatts.

So I think my memory is bad. I try and think back to Summerslam and can’t think if Undertaker had long hair or short hair. In the Hell in the Cell poster its long, but for the life of me I picture it short.

There is a video package that highlights their previous matches with names like ‘The Shock’ and ‘The Controversy’ He has short hair at Summerslam, ok, that Hell in the Cell picture is really long hair though!!

I’m most intrigued about Lesnar and Undertaker cause, how can they have an entertaining and brutal Hell in a Cell match?

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

• This is the first woman’s match I’ve watched since the Ironwoman match at NXT:Respect. They obviously won’t get 30 minutes and all that emotion. But they are developed characters.. I think. Nikki is the face that runs the place for women, she brags about being the best when she really isn’t. She is very mean. Naomi is an athlete that is married to an Uso, she has attitude but its more braggadocio than anything. Both women want to hold onto their spots. This is a match to prove they are worth competing with these other women.
• That was me hyping myself up for a match that had no hype on Raw.
• They go back to NXT:Respect and how amazing Sasha and Bayley was.. WE GET A DAMN VIDEO PACKAGE!! If you haven’t seen it, see it. I would link you to read my views on it but F That! This match needs to be felt to be truly appreciated. That is great wrestling right there. The video package got applause. Now the Boss gets to see the people she will surpass. “We Want Sasha” chants. Reminiscent of a few years ago and “Daniel Bryan” chants. That means WWE will toy with our hearts of Sasha.
• Nikki and Naomi are doing good, they have high impact moves and a quick pace. Nikki plays to the crowd and get’s cat calls and boo’s, also some cheers from the women.
• We are a few minutes into the match and Sasha is trying to get the crowd to clap for Naomi who is in a reverse chin lock. They either don’t do it or chant “you can’t wrestle.” See what I mean by ‘evil crowds’?
• Sasha should win valiantly for a few months only to be dominated by Nikki Bella, that would make me cry and hate Nikki.
• Naomi is being aggressive with her strikes and the crowd is quiet. Nikki raises her arm and the crowd responds. Naomi dives onto Nikki to some response. Then Brie grabs the mic and says “we want Sasha” a bunch… The crowd is confused, Sasha goes and gets Brie and the crowd kinda responds. Byron says it was to drive a wedge between Team B.A.D. Cole says that Team Bella knows how to play the game.
• I DON’T GET IT!!! Nikki wins with the Rack Attack though.

And I’m Like… That match was all kinds of weird. The story was Naomi and Nikki are fighting, the crowd wants Sasha. Naomi and Nikki starting winning the crowd over, Brie grabbed the mic and chanted that she wants Sasha too. Naomi doesn’t react and the crowd kinda chants with Brie and kinda doesn’t. Then it ends…. I’m gonna watch that Ironman match again this week to cleanse my palate.

WWE does this thing about Paige and it’s actually pretty horrible so yeah.

John Cena Promo

• Cena comes out to boo’s cause ‘evil Chicago’ I don’t get why he gets boo’d for existing. Cena brings up why Allstate Arena is so special to him.
• He says that Chicago is passion and they appreciate excellence, he verbally blows them and they all cheer. God, I do not like Chicago, fills the arena with boo’s, he praises them and they cheer in agreement.

U.S. Open Challenge

United States Championship Match

John Cena (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

• Ugh, kinda.
• I really want Cena to win, I used to like Dolph too! I have that pink shirt with the light blue letters . I gave my money to support him, and now it’s like… I still like the shirt and that’s about it.
• Cena has a hold on Dolph and notices the crowd chanting. JBL points out he is big match John while he does not show attention at all to Ziggler.
• CENA LEGITS STOPS THE MATCH!!! He points out someone just got engaged and She Said Yes! that is cool and gets me a bit veklempt. “She SaidYes” ok I’m getting worked up. That is such a cool moment. Having a huge life moment like that happen in front of that much support. PLUS IT’S INVOLVING WRESTLING. All I did was get married in a Daniel Bryan shirt. I’m jelly at this couple.
• I missed part of the match cause our fat cat Albus escaped out side… I have three cats, Albus, Macho Man, and Miss Elizabeth. Albus is a shit. Orange Tabby.
• The crowd is way into this match now after that proposal.
• Cena reversed Ziggler’s sleeper into an Attitude Adjustment and Ziggler rolled to the outside.
• The story is Ziggler has a chance because and I’m quoting JBL “that jet lag is getting to Cena.”
• Cena shows he is a true competitor by stopping the count out and putting Dolph in the ring to pin him. Ziggler kicks out at two and “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants break out. Even though the crowd fully supported Cena STOPPING A DAMN MATCH to acknowledge the engagement.
• Ziggler goes for Sweet Chin Music, the stomps and all. He got rocked with a lariat cause Cena knows what those stomps mean.
• Ziggler reversed the Attitude Adjustment into a Fameasser, it was executed with some sloppiness but it added realism to a match that was STOPPED FOR A PROPOSAL.
• Cena traps Ziggler in the STFU and Ziggler struggled but got to the ropes, I am now waning on this match and want it to end.
• I bitch about STOPPING THE MATCH but that proposal was the best part about this contest. Ziggler raked Cena’s eyes and Superkicked Cena for two. That nearfall got me.
• Remember when crowds would “Let’s Go Ziggler” all the time? Yeah, that don’t happen anymore, they will cheer for Dolph sure, but not like they used to.
• a boo/yay spot, trading finisher reversals, Zig Zag by Ziggler and Cena kicks out. Ziggler staggers into an AA for the Cena wins lol.

And I’m Like… For real if your Ziggler why let Cena stop the match to acknowledge the goings ons in a crowd? Dude should of at least got a distraction roll-up attempt. Ziggler is soft shell taco, mild sauce. Cena can put good matches on like crazy though, one day, when he is gone, we will miss Cena.

Kane is waiting by the speakerphone. Kane is reporting to The Authority about how good tonight is going. Stephanie bitches in the background at a flight attendant for spilling coffee on her right after HHH says they are experiencing turbulence. As HHH hangs up on Kane, Cole says “The Authority still doesn’t know the main event.” Cause they can call Kane from the plane but can’t look anything up on the internet or maybe text ANYONE ELSE ON THE SHOW!! Seth Rollins has HHH’s number I’m sure.

The Dudleyz vs. The Ascension

• We know what’s gonna happen here.
• Konnor goes for yah kicks but the Chicago crowd is evil and just wants tables. They don’t want to YAH with Konnor.
• “ECW” chants from the crowd, cheers too for all Bubbas signature spots.
• Dudley Device and JBL calls it an “homage to the Road Warriors”. 3D and Dudleyz win

And I’m Like… That is a match that happened. Dudleyz are against New Day at Hell in a Cell, they did not interact and we are no longer saving the tables.

Sheamus and King Barrett vs. Neville and Cesaro

• This is a surprise, no entrances or story beforehand other than. Barrett is back and hit Neville, but hey!
• Cesaro chants cause ‘evil crowds’ love indie guys, it’s their kryptonite.
• Cole tells JBL “It’s funny you call all these matches and don’t remember anything.” hahaha Kettle meet Pot.
• Cole says King Barrett called Neville a peasant and so “ let them eat cake” I was just discussing this phrase with a customer after reading Tidbits . I wanted to know how that was a bitchy thing to say. If I had no bread and my queen wanted to let me eat cake, how is that bad? After some discussion we came to the conclusion that Cake is a more expensive bread so she was being coy and heartless when she said it.
• This is the most European match by the way. Like WWE ’12 United Kingdom .
• These guys are hard hitting and having a fun time out there, Cesaro is handling both Sheamus and Barrett very well. This would be a good tag team rivalry if it was about something.
• Barrett hit Bullhammer on Neville and Sheamus got the pin.

And I’m Like… Wanting more, I feel like these four could really tear the house down with some emotional investment and time. It was nice to learn something during the match though. Let them eat cake is like what the storyline writers say to us fans. Hey Raw we are peasants and have no emotion in our Monday wrestling show.. “Then be invested in wrestlers you used to like, but now for no apparent reason.”

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

• Reigns starts talking, he says “Good to be in Chicago, babbbbaaaaayy” Reigns talks about how Wyatt cost him the Money in the Bank briefcase. He get’s ‘What’d’ cause Chicago.
• He asks if Chicago can not hear him or something, he says when you have beef you settle it in the ring. The crowd is all What’s Beef?
• I would rather have a video package than Roman talk. I fast forwarded it til the Wyatts came out.
• I fast forwarded that too cause what the hell?!?! This is about ONE THING that happened in June… Reigns holds onto grudges forever, Wyatt cost Dean Ambrose so many opportunities, and he only feuds with the Wyatts still cause Roman Noodles is.
• The match finally starts and Braun shows he is way stronger than Roman.
• JBL says fighting Braun Strowman is like fighting Jeep Swenson .. Is that a compliment or an insult?
• For about 5 minutes Braun dominates the match. Roman gets a few moves in and it does nothing to the crowd.
• Once Roman does the count along punch thing the crowd is right there to “1,2,3,4” Wrestling crowds love counting, we really do.
• I’ve noticed that Braun does not acknowledge the crowd at all, that might be his character work or his inexperience. It doesn’t help the cause in getting a crowd engaged in your act. It is different though.
• Roman is able to FINALLY knock Braun Strowman off his feet and Reigns wins by count out.

And I’m Like… That was kinda cool, Reigns looked resilient, Braun got knocked off his feet but not in a way that makes him look weak at all. The match wasn’t much fun but it felt very old school. I probably would praise it in a different setting. There wasn’t much to not like, it just wasn’t fun. The video package will make this seem way better. and HOLY SHIT “Husky Harris” chants cause CHICAGO.

Kane talks to The Authority again, they are headed this way but there is bad reception. HHH just asked what the main event was again, Kane told him but you know BAD RECEPTION. This is just dumb. I don’t get this as a storyline. It’s Kane is incompetent as Corporate Kane and can beat people up as Demon Kane, except we know that Corporate Kane uses Demon Kane powers to make it seem like Corporate circumstances are beyond his control and Kane is just being a good employee. The Authority are dumb bosses and boneheaded at the moment. So, it works?

Rusev vs. Ryback

• We start with a video recap of Summer Rae proposing to Rusev and Rusev turning her down for the moment. Then Cole tells us Rusev and Lana got engaged even though they ‘can’t stand each other.’ Cena did not acknowledge either or STOP A MATCH! to do so.
• Summer Rae is still out here with Rusev and we are getting a Rusev is old school Mormon . The crowd is confused on what is going on.
• Summer is probably pissed in real life cause where does she go from here? Ziggler shed this storyline, Rusev and Lana are really together. Summer kinda just sits on the bench and watches the Divas Revolutionize, her storyline evaporate, and her enemy and boyfriend legit getting married.
• Let’s hope there isn’t some girl upset at home after seeing the John Cena endorsed engagement.
• Ryback and Rusev have a match that Ryback wins.

And I’m Like.. This is weird. The crowd is quiet for this and the story is muddled. Even deeper though, how these feuds are playing out. The Dudleyz beat The Ascension and at the end JBL says “I hope the New Day are taking notes.” Ryback beats Rusev and Cole goes “Hope your watching Kevin Owens.” Like we see a character and right before they go off screen we are reminded who they fight in two weeks. Weird. So Summer Rae grabs the mic and says she could of done this privately but she wants the whole world.. AND everyone here to see she got engaged. Summer is pissed that she found out Rusev was engaged to Lana for one month off of TMZ. She said Rusev isn’t strong but he is a whipped little boy. Summer is making Rusev seem like a bad guy but this story is the bad guy. Good Riddance. Can we forget this whole thing? Forget Ziggler doing Lana to spite Rusev. Summer becoming friends then more than friends with Rusev, Summer doing Ziggler cause um… just cause. Now a surprise engagement… ugh.. Dog Ziggler though, let’s remeber Dog Ziggler.

Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens

• Bad guy Kevin Owens gets cheered because….. Chicagoan Kryptonite.
• Kalisto is crazy fast and hits Owens with kicks like he was Thumper
• A smattering of “Kevin Owens/Kevin Owens Sucks”
• Instead of enjoying the match the crowd tries to start smart chants like this was NXT.
• Owens either doesn’t catch Kalisto or Kalisto either messed up but Kalisto did a cool springboard moved to the outside and just landed on his head…
• Kalisto is hitting his signature spots but the crowd just goes ‘OH!!!’ and not like they are buying it though.
• Pop-Up Powerbomb for the win.

And I’m Like… “That’s what Ryback has to contend with at Hell in a Cell” lol cause they are against each other in two weeks. That match was a thing that was supposed to be wow, amazing, but Kalisto is the apple that tried to fall from the tree but botched it. Sin Cara.

Charlotte and Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella and Alicia Fox

• Bad news, Paige is on commentary. I am going to mute this, is that alright?
• My wife said thank you when I hit mute! hahahaha
• Sometimes the option for just crowd noise and no commentary would be nice…
• Charlotte tries to work over Brie’s arm but Brie gets out of it, Bella goes after Becky Lynch and Charlotte catches Brie in the moves of doom.
• Charlotte gets distracted by Nikki and Brie gets some moves in.
• Natayla goes to stop Nikki and Paige confronts Nattie and pushes her into the apron which KTFO of Nattie.
• Charlotte is distracted by that and Brie gets a pin on Diva’s champion Charlotte.
• Where was Becky Lynch? She was still knocked out from Brie Bella..

And I’m Like… That was too much distractions… too many distractions… too many distractions. No one really benefitted. I did cause of mute.

Kane talks to HHH and Stephanie again and they finally hear that Kane is gonna face Seth Rollins. They say that Kane can’t wrestle Seth under any circumstances. Anyone but Kane. Kane smiles as a DIAL TONE happens in the background, because cell phones. The crowd chants CM PUNK as we fade away. Let it go Chicago, let it go.

Seth Rollins shows up on the show for the first time in the night. Three hours in too. Seth is telling Big Show he doesn’t feel like anyone has his back except Big Show. Show laughs..

Corporate Kane tells Seth that HE will not be the opponent for Rollins tonight, but he found a replacement. THIS STORYLINE YOU GUYS!! AHHH!!!

Lumberjacks comeout and they are not in flannels? WHAT THE HELL

Lumberjack Match

Seth Rollins vs. Demon Kane

• Jack Swagger sighting… New Day playing Air Guitar to Seth’s music.
• See Corporate said “I” can’t wrestle. So The Authority is dumb.
• This is stupid, it’s not a split personality storyline. It’s Kane is a smart guy who knows he has two gimmicks.
• He then acts like he doesn’t know, everyone knows. The Authority is not everyone I guess.
• The crowd is silent throughout the contest
• It is a typical Lumberjack match, the bad guys don’t touch Kane cause they are scared, everyone doesn’t like Seth so he gets thrown back in.
• New Day attacks Demon Kane and the lumberjacks all brawl cause Lumberjack match
• We recreate Undertaker being beaten up by all the bad guys . Except we are the instant gratification generation, so Kane beats up all the bad guys and tombstones Seth Rollins for the win.

And I’m Like… Kane was more professional and safe towards Seth Rollins than the Authority has been all year. This was a dumb episode arc but overall an enjoyable episode. I was gonna watch the Democratic debate but forgot to DVR it so onto bed.

You all have a good one.

Please Share or tweet or pin. That is very nice of you.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2015 01:20:59 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews Alicia Fox and I'm like anoka Anokasflawless Becky Lynch Big E Big Show Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Cesaro Charlotte Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Dudley Boyz JBL John Cena Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Little Dick Dudley Luke Harper Naomi Nattie New Day Paige Randy Orton Raw 9/20/15 Ric Flair Roman Reigns Rusev Seth Rollins Summer Rae The Authority Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14327 I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.    Wyatt Family Promo- Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns. He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he […]

I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.

Wyatt Family Promo-

• Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns.
• He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he made a magic moment in a cage at your expense.
• You see fans looking at their phones, and fans that aren’t. The ones without a screen in their face have big smiles, the phone people are super concentrated… For what? a phone video? of a taped program? who will you show that to? why is a video more important than real life?
• Roman says it’s always just been about you and I ‘Send the bigguns back to the swamp and we’ll see you makes it out”
• He doesn’t want a match with Bray he just wants a fight. Bray sends Brawn and Harper to the back, except they don’t go up the ramp. Roman hits Luke and goes to town on Bray
• The Wyatt Family starts to walk to the back but they jump Reigns first while he was beating on Bray
• Ambrose comes out and Strowman fights both men himself.
• I’m not one for brawling, and this is a brawl.. It is just dragging out.
• Roman is getting choked out by Harper and Cole goes “like a big ol’ boa” or a Viper cause Orton comes out
• RKO’s and cheers’ for Orton
• I am indifferent towards this

And I’m Like… Strowman is presented as the guy who won’t fall from his feet. Ambrose, Reigns, and Orton come out on top. I hope there is more to this story other than, new dude joins guys, that are mad that one of them got pushed off a ladder during a ladder match.

We get a video package from Night of Champions where Cena won the United States Championship. Rollins winning the match and keeping the World Title. They did not show Sting’s collapse and injury, but they did show Kane.

Seth Rollins tries to talk to The Authority. Kane is standing there but it’s as Corporate Kane, I believe we are headed in a schizophrenic route.

That Geico Final Countdown commercial makes me miss Daniel Bryan

Cosmic Wasteland vs. Neville and Lucha Dragons

• Neville doing the ‘Lucha’ pose with the Dragons is put in my pocket adorable
• Konnor has a sweet contact in the eye that has paint over it. It’s the little things that add so much sometimes.
• Sin Cara botched baaaad. He slipped off the top rope and hurt himself
• They play it off like that was a planned spot, now that is PROFESSIONAL wrestling
• Next step for Cosmic Wasteland is matching gear.
• We get a commercial break during this match, honestly this would be the match to do it. Not during good matches that we are invested into. Just these random matches you know.
• Stardust is tremendous at his job, he gets Cody chants, which means we don’t forget who he is. He plays this character so well and is creating his own stamp on the industry in such a creative way.
• Kalisto is making the WWE Universe go WWWHHHOOOAAA!! and the commentators are just “….I do not know….what is going on” Kalisto is crazy fast, he hits the Solito del Sol for the win.

And I’m Like… That was a fun match, with a well placed commercial break. Nothing to complain about here! Nothing to really praise either.

Seth runs into the Authority and complains about Kane like this was the Spring of 2015. The Authority gave each other a look last night when Sheamus said he was gonna cash in. Kane then came out and put an end to that. Now Seth is kept champion and kept in line by the Authority. He can’t know that HHH and Stephanie are behind all this and manipulating him like Helicopter Parents or else The Authoritys hard work would have been for nothing.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

• Kevin Owens is on commentary and Bo Bo-Lieves!
• Bo says Ryback isn’t as good as Kevin Owens
• KO says he has always like Bo
• This is Ryback kicking the poop out of Bo while Kevin waxes poetic on the mic.
• It would be fun to build Bo as the guy that comes out and pisses off the giant guys of WWE and get his ass kicked. It will take almost a month of random interruptions until we are conditioned, but it would feel like a Crash Holly superheavyweight deal.
• Bo gets offense in, Kevin Owens says it’s cause he Bolieves
• Meathook clothesline and a Shellshock without ant indication his arm hurts.
• Owens comes in after Ryback wins and beats on the Ryback until Owens bails to fight another day.

And I’m Like… That might have set the theme for the night. It was the third segment in a row, that were just fine, but also moved the story along and had wrestling going on while it did.

We get video packages of Charlotte winning last night, and being awkward with Poppa Flair. A very forced ‘this is emotional’ from Jerry Lawler.

Charlotte Title Celebration

• Ric comes out first.
• He talks about being a proud father…
• He tries to do a promo about how special his life is and stuff and a “Thank You Ric” breaks out, he goes on about peoples lives and what happens.
• He is putting over Charlotte like crazy, the crowd will cheer her until we are told not to.
• Becky and Charlotte come out all smiles, Paige is distancing herself from the group as they walk out, Flair opens the ropes for Charlotte and Paige goes to the other side and walks in.
• Charlotte Wooo’s with her dad and Paige looks annoyed as hell.
• They both look at each other and like cry… They are so emotional, they are like me watching Sasha and Bayley. For real though, Charlotte is super real and gets me veklempt, she says she always wanted to be a wrestler and prove to Ric she is good. She loves him. For real, achieving your dreams is amazing, that’s where it hits me in the emotions. To see someone achieve their dreams in wrestling shakes me so much you guys.
• It looks like Paige is holding emotions in, she is trying to be tough and pulls it off amazingly.
• Paige is the perfect person to boo. She is the most condescending and bitchy. Paige says “There is no revolution Charlotte, you are just a placeholder.” She says to Becky “You are the least relevant in this division” She runs down everyone in the business, she does smarky comments about the Bellas being sluts. She talks about how Team B.A.D. is all flash, points out that Lana and Summer don’t care about the division, says Nattie don’t even work here anymore.
• Nikki comes out and is just the most annoying, she is a stuck up bitch. “One more thing, the queen is not done talking”

And I’m Like… THERE WE GO!! We just got character development and the splintering of groups. We all know that it should be about being the best, and recognized as the best. She spit some truth and threw in some shade that was scandalous. Pitch perfect on that y’all, got some feels out of me too!

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

• Brie is an awkward wrestler, it seems like her heart isn’t into it.
• Brie is working over the leg Nikki beat on last night.
• Charlotte needs to hit Natural Selection to win, her leg is becoming too damaged to hit the figure 8, she will probably win with the submission.
• Brie tries her Yes! kicks on Charlotte’s leg, but the crowd does not respond like they are supposed to. It ended up looking like she was kicking the leg then doing a dancy turn, then back to kicks.
• What’s great about Paige leaving to be her own, and Becky staying by Charlotte’s side, is Becky knows that friends can battle and have great matches. She learned that being one of the Four Horsewomen. Paige has always been on her own, and her closest friend was a ‘frenemy’ in AJ.
• Figure 8 happens and Brie taps… QUIT WORKING ON HER LEG IF SHE WINS WITH LEG BASED SUBMISSIONS

A nd I’m Like… How long is this gonna be Charlotte matches?? See its a revolution cause there is limb work.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

• Sheamus comes out just clutching that briefcase. It adds a bit of insecurity to his character. That makes me sad kind of, he gets YOU LOOK STUPID CHANTS. He is just trying to stand out and not be a Beaker muppet joke. It must be so hard for Sheamus to have confidence.
• Mark Henry comes down and Sheamus has a ‘god damn, whatever’ face going on.
• We know Henry doesn’t win anymore, but we also know Mr. Money in the Bank always loses.
• Sheamus is starting a new character turn I believe.
• How cool is a Diva’s Money in the Bank match gonna be?
• Sheamus went for Brogue and barely hit Mark Henry so we are redoing it!
• Sheamus wins with no crowd reaction.

And I’m Like… What the hell is going on? We don’t have much time between now and Wrestlemania. I don’t see Sheamus being champ at Mania, and I see Roman Reigns beating him. Sheamus might have his confidence back after that win. Which would make this match very very good, just a quick story of doubt in a character.

Kane is talking to The Authority and he doesn’t remember coming out as the Demon last night. See the mask is missing, the mask that The Authority controls Kane with. Kane is a bumbling idiot character and a psychopathic freak. A Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

New Day and Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler and the Dudleys.

• Can I make a ‘Little’ Dick Dudley joke?
• Xavier Woods is the only wrestler selling injury from last night. Remember 10 to 15 years ago, when we would get guys bandaged up and limping?
• I see that to get me to watch the Rusev/Ziggler saga they pit it directly against my love for The New Day.
• Xavier is holding up some wood that the Dudleys put in his butt. The Dudleys must be stopped. Big E says we gotta build a wall around Dudleyville. He is cosplaying as a Republican and making the tables Mexicans and Dudleyville Mexico. Kofi says “Together we can make WWE great again”. If Obama gets boo’d in Texas, do something that makes fun of Trump seems like a viable heel option. Sadly, New Day is smarter than the Texas fans so they did not pick up on this.
• I wish I could watch Rusev and New Day just exist and do them for 15 minutes instead of wrestle these damn’d Dudleys
• Dudleys pyro leaves smoke over the ring reminiscent of WCW. I remember going to a Nitro with My Uncle and he was smoking cigarettes in the arena. His excuse was, look how much smoke they make, like my cigarette is affecting anything.
• JBL keeps saying that New Day is like Bel Biv Devoe… Why? They didn’t fracture from a group (New Edition) they have yet to do a song parody of “Poison”. They are black though, and there are three of them… JBL…
• I would hate to be in the car with Xavier while he is practicing Rusev’s theme song. He played it just perfect for the Raw audience though. New Day are so great though, they know what fans want to see, they know references to get them likable by  pop culture fans. They are nerdy enough to get dweebs to like them. They are hip enough to be ahead of the curve. They are all wrestling fans, so when you see them tagged with Rusev, you see how they all support each other like characters that exist in a universe should.
• Xavier Woods says, you got nothin on Bulgarian New Day.
• The Dudleys tag in and the crowd goes mild. This is a long ass match y’all.
• Xavier blows the trombone in Zigglers face, Ziggler superkicks Xavier, Summer catches the trombone, Rusev hits Ziggler with a superkick and THANK GOD.

And I’m Like… That was so entertainingly boring… It’s so hard to enjoy the good guys for me, but this Bulgarian New Day is something I did not know I needed.

WWE.com did not have pictures for this.

Naomi vs. Nattie

• A year ago we would be stoked to see this cause it was the two athletic wrestlers. Now it’s I don’t know, part of me thinks it will be done in 3 minutes off a distraction roll-up
• Paige is now watching on… I don’t know why, if she is trying to learn how to wrestle against Naomi and Nattie? They have been here so long.
• Naomis does a JTG rope bounce, CRYME TYME never forget.
• Sasha should have Tamina on her team forever, they look like a great HBK and Diesel combo.
• When Nattie runs over the top of a seated opponent, its shocking how something that easy is so innovative.
• Naomi wins cause there is too many girls on the outside, and Nattie has no one to help her. She also has had facial surgery…..

And I’m Like… That was three minutes wasn’t it? Ugh that was like being in a way way back machine.

Big Show vs. Cesaro

• This is a surprising match… Show is gonna win cause he needs to look like a threat to Brock.
• lol a Seven foot, Four hundred pound man has to look like a threat. I’m ridiculous sometimes, wrestling suspends reality too much!
• Cesaro is getting decimated. Tossed and thrown around, Big Show is yelling in Cesaros face.
• Let’s give it up to New Day for teaching the crowd a new chanting cadence. Big ShowSucks was sustained for a little bit. Now we just need them to start getting us to sing and wrestling is gonna be nuts like soccer games.
• Cesaros hitting so many uppercuts he has to get the advantage in the match.
• Cesaro is relentless with his Eurocuts, he found the move that works and is spamming it to hell anyway.
• It’s like in a video game, you find out the sequence of buttons to press to beat the Boss. If you find one that works, you use it til you win.
• Cesaro is trying to Everest Suplex the Big Show. He did it with relative ease, but sold it like he couldn’t. He tried once, and twice, but his back hurt too bad. He looked to the crowd, and on cue they erupted in support. Cesaro hits his feat of strength and then gets hit with a hand of strength by the Big Show.

And I’m Like… We are back to the theme of the night, advance the characters story, have some wrestling. I liked this too, this is a super average episode of Raw, but lacking in drab segments makes it an enjoyable three hours.

We are recapping what happened at the top of the show and brought to the Wyatt room in the back. Harper says to Orton, the voice I hear in my head is Brays. Strowman talks about catching a killing a snake. There is ominous music in the background. I like to imagine before the cameras roll, the Wyatts setting up their fog machine and Halloween noises. Bray being all “This is what scares people, these noises, this fog, creates me THE FACE OF FEAR.. OOOOOHHHH

United States Championship Match

Seth Rollins vs. John Cena (c)

• Ok, know how I said Xavier was the only one selling injury? Seth was limping out.. So give him a nod too!
• Seth jumps Cena during the introductions and the ref backs Rollins off to start the match properly.
• If I was Rollins I would be pissed that I was jammed down the crowds throat this much, feuded with Cena this much and still all you hear is “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” damn. That makes it sound like you are so replaceable, we are just boo’ing you cause your not John Cena…. damn.
• Rollins plays the urgency card, every move he hits or every few moves, Seth goes for a pin.
• Cena is getting beat on for the majority of this match.
• Cena directs the wave that the crowd is doing and JBL says “maybe Byron will drown” WHAT THE HELL JBL???
• Rollins gots the Crossface on Cena, Cena powers out. I think to myself “Self, why would Rollins beat Cena tonight, when he is injured, when at 100% he couldn’t beat Cena?
• Cena rolls threw on a Frog Splash by Rollins and hits the AA
• lol Cena wins

And I’m Like… JBL keeps calling him Big Match John. John Cena sees a kid in a medical match and gives him a wrist band to warm our hearts. Kane is talking to Seth from the titantron. He gets all evil and pulls Seth under the ring… WHAT THE HELL? Rollins couldn’t get away, are we supposed to cheer for Rollins? I don’t get it.. I guess we will see where it goes. There is a funny fan reaction of a lady thinking this is the dumbest thing she ever saw hahaha

That was a good show, I enjoyed it all the way through.. outside of those damn’d Dudleys and little dick too.

HAve A Good one!

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-night-of-champions-september-20th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-night-of-champions-september-20th-2015/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2015 00:03:52 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews WWE Network Reviews and I'm like anokas flawless Anokasflawless Brawn Strowman Bray Wyatt Charlotte Chris Jericho Corey Graves Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Dudley Boyz jake drury anoka JBL Jerry Lawler John Cena Kane Kevin Owens Luke Harper Michael Cole New Day Night Of Champions results Night of Champions review Nikki Bella Roman Reigns Rusev Ryback September 20th 2015 Seth Rollins Sheamus Sting Sumer Rae http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14312 Hey, this is a busy weekend with all this reviewing, lets cut the chitter and the chatter and get to the fact of the matter! Night Of Champions Video Package- Your typical ” I’m gonna win tonight, I’ll be a ‘put motivational thing here’    Intercontinental Championship- The Ryback (c) vs. Kevin Owens Ryback comes […]

Hey, this is a busy weekend with all this reviewing, lets cut the chitter and the chatter and get to the fact of the matter!

Night Of Champions Video Package-

• Your typical ” I’m gonna win tonight, I’ll be a ‘put motivational thing here’

Intercontinental Championship-

The Ryback (c) vs. Kevin Owens

• Ryback comes out with a little bit less energy than normal.
• Owens walks out like he always does, sniffing the air a bunch and chewing gum.
• Spanish announce table sighting, means one table will not be saved.
• Owens says he wants to win to make more money and fight for a prize.
• lol Cole says “Owens has been in Rybacks grill for a couple weeks now”
• Ryback was Dom-In-Ating this early portion of the match
• Owens turns it around with working on the arm. Usually this bugs me, but Ryback has strength based offense, so having one arm makes him powerless.
• Ryback is doing well too, he is fighting with one arm and selling the injured arm when he executes offense.
• LOL Ryback just openly says “MY ELBOW” to be honest though, I have a sore left elbow so I can imagine his pain.
• Owens only gets reactions when he yells at the crowd or his opponent, he doesn’t get boo’d much either. I miss hearing someone showered in boo’s. I would never miss someone who showered in booze.
• That ref is poop at one point! It’s a double clothesline, and the referee does not count to 10. The rules in wrestling, if both guys are not on their feet and motionless, you count, could be a double knock out or whatever its called. BUT IT’S A RULE DAMNIT!! or at least… it was a rule.
• Ryback is so smart to move every time he says FEED ME MORE, he will move parts of his body in that cadence and it cues the crowd to cheer very well.
• Ryback couldn’t hit the Shellshock cause his ‘shoulder’ hurts too bad. The announcers keep saying shoulder over and over and over. He screamed “MY ELBOW” earlier… not “MY SHOULDER” yeesh
• Owens reverses another Shellshock, by racking the eyes, not by having anything happen with Rybacks arm or elbow OR SHOULDER…
• Owens gets a roll-up victory

And I’m Like… I don’t know how to feel. The title is cursed, who ever touches it either always loses or gets injured. On the other hand Owens has a fucking title! Stepping stones my brothaa!

Ziggler vs. Rusev

• This isn’t even a title match… since Lana isn’t back yet, this match does not matter
• It should matter, it should, but you and I both know we will see the results in countless video packages.
• I don’t know if I will write about it
• I know I won’t write about this match….
• I’ll tell you the finish, but in this game… to quote Joe from Big Pun’s hit Still Not A Playa “I Don’t Wanna be a Player No More” I’m not a player this just sucks alot
• Summer Rae yells at Ziggler, Rusev hits Ziggler into Summer, Ref throws Summer out of match, as Summer leaves ring she throws one of her shoes out to the ramp, throws her other at the ref, ref ducks, shoe hits Rusev, Ziggler hits Zig Zag on Rusev.

And I’m Like… UGH!

Tag Team Championship Match

New Day (c) vs. Dudley Boyz

• Houston does a “New Day Sucks” chant and not a “New DaySucks” stupid.
• Xavier Woods has hair like Rufio from the movie Hook.
• New Day has a petition to save the table, I signed it.
• New Day says Obama signed it and got boo’s from Texas.
• I’m sad the trombone is still a thing. It should get destroyed soon. Maybe finish this table storyline, start one about breaking the trombone. We can have a trombone funeral and Xavier will cry cause he has nothing to play TAPS with.
• I forgot how boring the Dudleys are outside of Tables, 3D’s and Wazzzupps!
• Kofi slapped the F out of D’Von’s head.
• This match is so bleh! It’s because it’s built around using tables and the match is a normal match that does not involve tables.
• Big E does that apron splash, but he slides off Bubbas face… It looked like it hurt and broke his back, the ref ran to Bubba and checked on him cause DAYUMM!
• Xavier playing the Rocky Theme song was choice.
• We get deep into the match, D-Von leads a clap, and the crowd is way into it.
• Dudleys do a reverse 3D to Big E and a 3D to Kofi, Xavier breaks it up
• Dudleys by DQ

And I’m Like… That was what it was, it lead to New Day being very very hypocritical and bringing out a table. That ends up having Xavier put threw a table… Either that is the end to the feud, or that was a blow off to an angle that was way way too early. This table angle suffers from Premature Evacuation

WWE Divas Championship match

Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella (c)

• As Charlotte enters, she looks super excited, so does Becky, Paige looks like she got resting bitch face the whole match.
• Charlotte with the glitter? C’mon….C’MON!!!! That is ridiculous girl.
• Does anybody agree with me that Charlotte is like a lanky awkward girl? She is a superior athlete, her dad had an amazing social gravitas. She did not inherit that, everything she does outside of wrestle in a ring is AWKWARD!!
• Nikki spends the whole match working over Charlotte’s leg. Charlotte acts like she really injured it, has such worry on her face.
• Nikki is the most creative tonight, she does so much stuff to Charlotte’s leg, but gives us a cornucopia of moves to see. Submissions, attacks, figure fours around the ring post, apron work, suplexes into ropes and turnbuckles, dives off the top rope driving the forearm to Charlotte’s leg, punches.
• Charlotte for real just makes cry faces and gets beat up until she hits the Figure-8 for the win.
• Ric comes out and cries his face off. The emotion pride: face looks extremely sad outside of the smile.

And I’m Like… That needed to happen, then we get one rematch. That should lead to the other eight divas having a tournament for number one contender. That way we get weeks to develop characters, this 3 on 3 on 3 cannot continue. Great effort by both girls, amazing match if the crowd would give a damn, but we can’t. It’s undeserving girl that’s been champion forever that now deserve’s the title vs. undeserving girl that uses her dads persona to advance that wrestled her ass off in NXT and deserve’s it.

We legit cut from the announce booth for ‘BREAKING NEWS’ and it was Charlotte and Ric having the most awkward promo of the night. They seem to earn that award whenever they are on screen together. It’s weird seeing Flair not treat women as objects….

The Wyatts vs. Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Chris Jericho

• Jericho comes out and I pick one of two endings, Jericho eats the pin and this story about Bray pushing a ladder that Roman was on 4 months ago continues. Wyatts lose and Strowmans mysticism and unbeatableness ends.
• I would like to know how that handkerchief in Harpers back pocket does not fall out, it’s gotta be sewed on right?
• During the free months of the Network, we always get like Undertaker or Jericho or Dudleys or Sting, people from yesteryear. I think its a marketing tactic to get Network subscribers. That hurts the product right? Maybe it doesn’t, maybe they just want to see the guy they liked, and then don’t unsubscribe cause THATS DOIN TOO MUCH! So it does hurt the product, cause the story wouldn’t matter if your going for nostalgia fans. The fans that cheered all that non-PC shit. lol
• Braun struggled lifting Jericho over his head….. That made him very man-like, not beast-like.
• Bray Wyatt and Kevin Owens is an intriguing feud. They both wear shirts, thats why it popped in my mind. Kevin Owens family would have to be involved. It’s a character based on Money over everything cause FAMILY!! vs. I want to just fight cause chaos and babble cause I’m CRAZY!!
• The Wyatts cut the ring off perfect and just work over Roman Reigns, he gets all Ragdoll kitten like and lies lifeless on the floor.
• Jericho hits a triangle dropkick on the guys on the apron while beating Bray in the ring. He tries to induce a struggle of putting Wyatt in the Walls of Jericho except Bray was already rolled over expecting it to be a quick turn.
• Ambrose and Wyatt hit a double clothesline… you know what the ref does…. holds Deans head and talks to him. then just stands, gets on his knees, walks around. COUNT TO 10!!! JUST DO IT!!!
• Roman Reigns gets on the ball and beats up the Wyatt family, he rocks Strowman a bunch of times and just as he is getting ready to finish off Brawn, Jericho tags himself in and gets beat.

And I’m Like… Stupid Reigns and Ambrose… Corey Graves during pre-show said it should be Samoa Joe, I agree, next up, pick a new partner that can stand up to these guys, only a matter of time before Rowan comes back and we get a Sheep tag team. Then its 4 on 2 you guys!! It’s already hard enough to find one good partner.

WWE United States Championship

Seth Rollins (c) vs. John Cena

• If Cena wins does that mean Seth gets his rematch clause? Can that happen? Just trade wins/belt for a few months and be synonymous with the belt? I don’t know if it’s a good idea, but has it happened?
• Seth and John have real good chemistry and timing. Everything they do looks on point, it doesn’t feel forced or rushed, it feels organic. It’s hard to appreciate sometimes, not this match though.
• Seth should just take a chair to Cena, boom match 1 done, still champ.
• Pinfalls before the finishing move sequence used to bother me, I never understood why, if it was pre-determined, would you even have someone go for a pin when they know it doesn’t end until a finisher happens. Then I began to realize its so we as viewers can digest what just happened, can understand that the move just done did a bit of damage to the recipient. A stone does not crack off of one strike, the one strike that cracks it was one strike added to thousands.
• Cena feigns that he is dazed, he starts to hear boo’s, he cracks a smile and I am amazed at the physical schizophrenia of Mr. Cena
• Once Cena attempts the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, he is relentless in his pursuit to finish the move. If it gets reversed one or two times in a match, he will still find a way to hit it. As I type this, he does not go for a third attempt. So yeah, bullethole in my foot.
• Cena reversed the running bucklebomb with a hurricanrana. Everytime Seth runs while holding someone in the powerbomb I get D’Lo Brown flashbacks of when he dropped dudes on heads. Accidental of course.
• Cena has like a 5 subset moves of doom. Code Red/Sunsetflip Powerbomb, hurricanrana, springboard stunner, tornado ddt, standing diving leg drop. It’s amazing.
• JBL “and the two people enjoying this, Sting and Sheamus” I’m sure more than two people like this match JBL
• Cena hits standing leg drop and AA for the win

And I’m Like… Wondering where we go from here, there is no way that Seth can beat Sting clean, that would make Sting the weakest… Open challenges start again? Seth get his re-match? If he loses to Sting, does he get both rematches at Hell in a Cell? Rollins tries to walk away, Cena AA’s Rollins on the outside and rolls him into the ring. I swear to God this next match cannot be competitive.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sting

• If Sheamus came out, won the belt, is the Sting match against Sheamus or Rollins? The feud is about a statue not a belt… So Sting comes out, and I thought of a scenario for no other reason than to waste time apparently.
• Sting starts with a Stinger Splash. My cousin and a regular at my restaurant both call Stings, Scorpion Deathlock ‘The Stinger!’ Cause the first time Sting applied it on television, Cole forgot the name and just said “Sting with, THE STINGER with a submission to win” That stuck with some people I guess.
• Rollins does that Shawn Michaels thing where he is thrown into the turnbuckle and flips around.
• They brawl alot more than I expected. They go onto the English announce table, Rollins pushes Sting onto the Spanish announce table and Sting bounces violently
• The Spanish guys knew it was coming too, they stood up and grabbed their documents, the sound guy jumped the barrier. I wonder if they are warned or just paranoid.
• Seth tries walking away with the title, the crowd boo’s. Lawler goes “he is about to show his true colors” Seth walks back and keeps wrestling.
• That makes me think, with how often the odds are stacked against Rollins, are we slowly supposed to start supporting him?
• Seth is not selling a thing from the last match. This should not feel like a brand new match. That table bump should have evened the odds for Seth. It should not have shifted momentum. If some dude legit fights the toughest guy and loses, the fight right after that would not have the loser in top shape. Honestly I forget he just wrestled while watching this match. I don’t know how it could be done different, maybe Rollins holds his back? Maybe he can’t do some of his normal move set? I don’t know, some sort of adverse effect from the previous encounter.
• Rollins gets shoved off the top rope by Sting, Seth doesn’t seem hurt at all, he fights just like he was tired and thats all…. I don’t think I like this, maybe it’s all relative. Cena does it and I’m fine with it cause I’m used to it, and his reaction usually is based on crowd response. Rollins just keeps taking huge moves, he loses, takes finishers, more huge moves, and still wrestles like he is just out of breathe and that’s all that is affecting him.
• Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop and he fumbled a bit on the cover, it made it seem like he would have one had the pin been fluid transitionally from the Drop.
• Sting goes for a 10 Punch in the corner, gets Bucklebombed and….
• Sting’s body does not look good, he just collapsed. Rollins did not just go for the pin, which makes me think its planned. The ref keeps turning his mic on and off by adjusting the switch on his back, the doctor comes in. It is scary kind of, this guys body is giving out because of some botched move. Maybe it wasn’t botched, it looked normal in execution. This is where the theater takes over and the sport evaporates.. They will finish this story no matter what, and it is somewhat disturbing. What ever is going threw Stings head is pure motivation to finish or die trying.
• They go threw two Scorpion Death Lock spots and two Pedigree reversals until Rollins wins with a roll-up.

And I’m Like… Legit worried for Sting, he is rushed out to the back as Rollins celebrates, this brings out Sheamus with a Brogue kick to Rollins. He tries to cash in but The Authority hits Kane’s music. Kane chokeslam’s Rollins and Sheamus asks Kane to do it again. Kane chokeslam’s Sheamus, Tombstones Rollins and we go off the air with mixed emotions of worry, sadness, and boredom of a Sheamus/Kane feud. That will need story and not just, you cost me a title so we wrestle for months.

And I’m Like… That event was enjoyable, I am really worried for Sting though. Gonna wear my KO shirt tomorrow in celebration too!

Please be nice and like or share this, that’s if you actually liked something written on here, no insincere shit y’all

You guys have a good one, see you tomorrow for Raw

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/here-comes-the-pain-top-5-moments-from-smackdown-917/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/here-comes-the-pain-top-5-moments-from-smackdown-917/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2015 17:41:32 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Top Lists Adam Rose Big E Big Show Brie Bella D'Von Dudley Dean Ambrose Hulk Hogan John Cena Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Michael Cole Naomi Night of Champions Nikki Bella Roman Reigns Ryback Sasha Banks Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown Sting The Dudley Boyz The New Day The Wyatt Family Total Divas Triple H WWE Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14253 Welcome to “Here Comes the Pain” — Cheap-Heat.com‘s official Smackdown Countdown, brought to you by B+ Players Radio. When you don’t have the time to sit through an entire Thursday night edition of pre-taped content, we’re here to give you the “Top 5 Moments” in VIDEO FORM! Big thanks to WWE and their awesome YouTube/internet department who always post […]

Welcome to “ Here Comes the Pain ” — Cheap-Heat.com ‘s official Smackdown Countdown , brought to you by B+ Players Radio. When you don’t have the time to sit through an entire Thursday night edition of pre-taped content, we’re here to give you the “Top 5 Moments” in VIDEO FORM ! Big thanks to WWE and their awesome YouTube/internet department who always post exclusive content immediately. It makes our job a lot easier!

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Like this article? You can follow Mark Haggerty and B+ Player Radio on Facebook and Twitter . B+ Player Radio is a network of professional wrestling podcasts produced by writers, comedians, musicians, and most importantly— professional wrestlers! Listen to hours of exclusive content available every single week on iTunes – TuneIn Radio – SoundCloud and Cheap-Heat.com !

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-august-25th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-august-25th-2015/#comments Wed, 26 Aug 2015 00:39:31 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews and I'm like Big E Big Show Bo Dallas Braun Stowman Bray Wyatt Brock Lesnar Byron Saxton Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler JBL John Cena Jon Stewart Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Lana Luke Harper Michael Cole Miz New Day Paul Heyman RAW Ric Flair Roman Reigns Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus Undertaker WWE Wyatt Family Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13788 What is with Tuesdays? I was at the restaurant today, like everyday, and today beat the daily total of Saturday which is our normal busiest day. I happened to have a former WWF Tag Team champion come in today, but I was so busy I didn’t get a chance to talk wrestling!!! Maybe next time […]

What is with Tuesdays? I was at the restaurant today, like everyday, and today beat the daily total of Saturday which is our normal busiest day. I happened to have a former WWF Tag Team champion come in today, but I was so busy I didn’t get a chance to talk wrestling!!! Maybe next time right?

This weekend sure felt like a marathon. The more I thought about it though, the more I think the production crew of WWE is happy. They had the same arena for 3 nights in a row! That has got to be a lighter workload than normal. Season 1 of the Waltons is on while I queue up the DVR, this famous actress needed the Walton’s to help her put on a show so she can afford a train ticket to New York.. Enough chatting onto Monday Night Raw!!

Show Opening- В We start off in WWE Headquarters with HHH getting ready to present Seth Rollins with a statue in his honor. “Seth your not the future of WWE, you are the man”- HHH. We see statues of Bruno Sammartino, Ultimate Warrior, and Andre The Giant.

And I’m Like… wondering what the statue criteria is?

Show opens with its typical crappy song intro, I can’t wait until tonight is the night we change this song. We go over highlights of Summerslam, but not NXT!?!? and then

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman-

• As Brock walks out, I notice the Suplex City sign on his shirt says south. I’m not trying to throw snow here, but shouldn’t it be north? Maybe the suplex brings you down so thats why its south?
• “Suplex City” chants from the crowd as we look at a battered Brock Lesnar.
• Brock is very subdued, its way scarier to me than when he is all bouncy.
• This finish really grinds my gears, cause like, when has the time keeper ever rang the bell without command? Even during Montreal ’97 Vince had to say ring the damn bell like 4 times. I’ll take a wait and see approach, but how can we interview the referee and not the time keeper?
• Brock does not blame the referee or the time keeper, because they understood that when Undertaker was tapping, ‘Taker knew his arm was gonna break off.
• Paul Heyman brings up Undertaker collapsed again, he said he has enough material to last all 3 hours of Raw and the crowd Yes!’s?
• Undertaker got that dick kick on lock though, that is Brock’s kryptonite. By the way, I personally still don’t know who gave me that head of cabbage from a few Raw’s back..
• Paul Heyman said Undertaker looks likeВ The Gunslinger , he also says Brock challenges him to a fight tonight
• BO DALLAS’ music hits!!! Quick side bar here again.. I have a regular named Danny that is a wrestling fan, he will come in everyday and do wrestling catchphrases. He will do them call and response style like this, “It’s Simply Positively..” and I’ll go “A New Day” he says “all you gotta do is..” I say “Bo-Lieve”. Sometimes he does Paul Heyman promos, he always tries to do the Million Dollar Dance with my server too. Bo just reminded me of Danny so I thought I would throw that in there.
• Bo told Brock he had good and bad news. Bad news is he passed out, Good news is he woke up and had a dream he actually beat Undertaker. Bo said Brocks dreams can come true if he Bo-Lieves!!
• Brock laughs and then DECIMATES Bo Dalls with suplexes from Germany. The crowd chants one more time, Brock adheres to them. They chant it again as he is leaving, he does it again. He tries to leave again and Paul says “an F5 just for me!!?” Brock goes back in and yup F-5.

And I’m Like… That was the main story going into tonight, having Brock just kick someones ass really cleanses the palate of what happened last night. I don’t know where the story is headed, it might be over who knows. That segment was fun though.

В

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

• Holy Shit!!! New Day is gaining so much crowd support, they are so creative too. This is fun
• Xavier Woods playing background music to New Day inspired lyrics to “New York, New York” is something I never knew I needed!!!
• Can you cover all the songs New Day?!?! I Love this JBL says “Xavier was trained by Chief Jay Strongbow” Y’all KILLED IT NEW DAY!!! KILLED IT!!
• NEW DAYROCKS NEW DAYROCKS!!!
• The fun thing about New Day is they are entertaining wrestlers, and their gimmick is still MAD ENTERTAINING you know? Everything you see seems to be amazing, they are even putting Titus in his place while Prime Time Players are on commentary.
• How long is Kalisto going to be in a tag? He should be lighting the world on fire with lucha moves soon right?
• As the New Day hits their finishing move Xavier Woods does amazing work playingВ Military Taps

And I’m Like… Surprised that the Prime Time Players were not as entertaining as the New Day. That’s how the tag division should be, put the straps on whoever is making the most entertainment with theВ allottedВ time. As I say that THE DUDLEY BOYZ come back!! That is pretty crazy, I don’t think they are needed as full-time tag regulars though, just saw all their signature moves, what more do we need? Tables? Just saw that too! These guys should go do that NXT Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic or whatever. It doesn’t matter, this shit was fun, the whole segment.

That Make-a-Wish video had me in tears.. Bayley/Sasha at Takeover tears… fucking Connor The Crusher tears. For real this shit is so cool. People suffer so much you know, they just go through shit all day. They eat a bowl of shit for breakfast and once it’s done it’s breakfast time.It’s amazing that WWE has the power to make children forget about breakfast and escape the hell that is the hospital, John Cena legit can not turn heel, those kids need him, they really do. They need a super-hero, cause some times, real life is not enough to get you by. Wrestling is great.

HHH and Stephanie- They are in the back looking at Seth’s statue, I wouldn’t comment on this but Seth said something important. “This place is just better with you running it” SEEDS PLANTED, where is ourВ 70 year old farmer ?

Summerslam Rematch: Wyatts vs. Shield

• LOL! Last night this was my smoke break match… now we are having it again… WWE will make me watch this no matter what huh? What is really funny is, there is one of those anti-smoking commercials right when they cut to break mid Shield entrance.
• There are so many “suicide dives” to the outside in WWE recently, its like become a necessity to dive at someone when they go outside at least once in a match.
• Good thing they had that match last night to settle the score right? If they didn’t then this match would no consequences or story, we would watch this match for the sake of wrestling.
• Let’s remember this whole feud started cause Bray pushed a ladder that Roman was on over, in a match Wyatt wasn’t in, 3 months ago…. You know how many damn matches have happened since then? I don’t but we both know its alot, yet Roman is still super peeved about that ONE NIGHT!!!
• Roman doing fake drinking beer taunts is the Frattiest thing…
• JBL says “superkick party” he must watchВ The Young Bucks
• A NEW WYATT SHOWS UP!?!? He has a black mask on too!! Please don’t mean Minnesota’s own Erick Rowan is out the family now.. Let’s hope Harper is the mid-card act, Bray is the main act, and the sheep tag.
• Since this is the first non-NXT debut in a while, it’s weird to hear the crowd just murmur or be quiet.
• New Wyatt is no selling all the offense, he is choking out the Shield while Luke and Bray smile.

And I’m Like… If this doesn’t bring Sting into this feud or at least add a little flavor to this, it will get old fast. This was new fresh and exciting, I hope it doesn’t just happen for four weeks until another turn of events.

There will be a special with Brock in Madison Square Garden on the night of my baby shower!! Guess what I’ll try and make the family watch??!?

Miz TV- PCB

• I kept wondering why PCB was such a familiar acronym, turns out I noticed it on my Fish Oil container.В PCB В is a probable human carcinogen… I LOVE IT
• I am not into PCB they are the fakes of the division. Bellas are bitches and veterans and they know it and brag. Team B.A.D. seem real when they speak.
• Bella’s come out and all we hear is WE WANT SASHA!!! It’s Daniel Bryan chants all over again.
• Alicia Fox says she has been here for 9 years and seen em all come and go. It’s true, Becky quit trying to be crazy, just break arms. Charlotte quit leaning on Flair for everything WE KNOW HE WAS IN THE HORSEMEN! and Paige, not everybody wants everything sexualized.
• For a Divas revolution, Miz getting cheers when he says “When my hand goes up your mouth goes shut” It does show how we as viewers receive these Diva’s compared to NXT’s women. It sucks that when they made the jump to the main show, they lost all their qualities that made them respectable women.
• There is a six diva brawl that is leading to a six diva tag match… Sasha Banks is not in the mix, yet all the crowd says is WE WANT SASHA!!

And I’m Like… If WWE wanted me to not like six women and like three more, they did a great job. What’s bad is that the six I don’t like were on the screen making me not like them more. I am a Charlotte fan when she is real, when she is nerdy and awkward, not when she tries to be cool. Charlotte is tall and lanky, Becky is weird and annoyingly bubbly, Paige is immature. Paige was trying to get Team Freakshow over before PCB stuck, and I’m starting to lean on her side with that name. That would have added a dynamic this 3 team feud needs. The hot bunch (Bella’s) The bad bunch (team B.A.D.) and instead of the “wrestlers? other hot bunch? what is PCB anyways?” they could have been the misfit bunch.В

As I was And I’m Liking the Miz TV segment a Six Diva Tag match started… The crowd was the fun part… They wanted SASHA they did want this match.. I didn’t want this match. What I had to say was said up above. Give us stories that we can relate to please. Team Bella won if you care! Alicia fox looked like she was in pain or mad f’d up…

It was supposed to be Stardust and Cosmic King Barrett teaming but Stardust beat up The Cosmic King. Neville came out and the ref bailed as the brawl started… Neville went for Red Arrow, Stardust ran away.

В

And I’m Like… WHAAAAT???

Jon Stewart Promo-

• His Theme song is the Daily Show theme song haha. That is so not his character for wrestling, just a happy bouncy guitar riff.
• Stewart is showered in “Thank You Stewart” chants
• Stewart said he apparently upset some people, to those parents who comforted their children, I’ll tell you why I did that.
• Jon Stewart said in his heart, he could not let John Cena tie Ric Flair. The crowd was What’ing him until he said he did it for Flair, instacheers. “NOT ON MY WATCH”-Jon Stewart
• Flair then styles and profiles his way to the ring, my buddy sent a text last night “I Fuckin Love Jon Stewart” I think I know why now!
• Flair tells Stewart he was pulling for John Cena, Stewart sells shock…..
• Ric Flair says the record will be broken sooner than later, he wants it to be from someone he respects. “Don’t forget Gods in the house tonight” – Ric Flair He tells people you don’t gotta like it, you gotta love it cause it is coming out of my mouth,
• Flair told Stewart he messed up everything… like it was some giant plan that Flair had Cena beat his record…. Stewart is as confused as we are…
• John Cena tells Stewart they need to talk, he said “What do you wanna talk about? and *you can’t see me’s him”
• The crowd chants Ce NaSUCKS and Cena did something I found interesting, he was talking to either Stewart or Flair and he said “no let them get it out”. Cena has been in front of loud unrespectful crowds for over a decade. It’s amazing what he has learned in crowd control, every crowd will fatigue of any chant, if he let’s them ride it out he will be more impactful in his words when they are spoken.
• Cena says that Stewart ended the ability to let new stars shine… That is crazy!!! Why would he think that having a late twenties superstar winning the title ends the ability for new stars? Man is a narcissistic sociopath.
• He hits Jon Stewart with an AA too, John said I understand that that’s what you have to do and then just beat him up, that’s some Bully type shit.

And I’m Like… I’m with Stewart, he helped the future. Rollins was right Cena IS a disease. You could tell from Flairs face he felt that the segment fell flat… Oh well, Jon Stewart is totally gonna be in the WWE Hall of Fame Celebrity wing.

В

Ziggler, Orton, Ryback, Cesaro vs. Owens, Sheamus, Big Show, Rusev

• This could be a match, like 5 years from now, we look back on like “WOW they had some stars in that match this should be fun!”, or we could look at it like we do now, “WOW they have some stars in this match, I’ve seen everyone wrestle everyone a bunch this summer, glad its all packed in this eight man instead of an hour of Raw”
• Byron says Cesaro is “like the Chuck Norris of Raw” that is beauty.
• Ziggler is wearing tights!! He has his Sherri Martel now in Lana, his transformation to Shawn Michael’s complete. I compared Ziggler to Ricky Steamboat and Lana to George “The Animal” Steel last week, maybe this comparing thing is a trend?
• Big Show on his Mark Henry Trash Talk game real hard tonight. I’ve grown to re-appreciate Big Show, he will be gone soon, might as well enjoy him while he is on TV.
• As Ziggler gets his ass kicked by every guy on the other team, I am really digging his new tights.
• A commercial for Subway??? Too Soon you guys.. Too Soon.
• My mind is made up on Lana.. She ain’t good. She stands there emotionless, she smiles when she does offense, her character is crap. She is forced as hell like Byrons excitement for Cesaro’s “Uppercut TRAAIINN!!”
• The Ryback/Owens match-up seems real fun.. yeah GIVE OWENS THE INTERCONTINENTAL BELT!!! He is Canadian, they know how to represent that belt best!
• All the good guys notice Show is all alone so they decide to pick on him.

And I’m Like… The bad guys beat up Big Show, they left Sheamus. The good guys beat up Big Show, they left Sheamus. That’s funny. This meant nothing I’m sure, unless Owens and Rusev team up, they both beat on Show and looked damn good doing it!

Bray Wyatt is in his dark room cutting promos. When Bray rolls his eyes and says heart, his voice dragged and it sounded so eerie, I love his cadence. Bray introduces Braun Strowman the “Black Sheep of Sister Abigail”

The Authority is talking to John Cena about how he is a sore loser and that it is trending, then Security throws him out of the building.

Seth Rollins Statue Presentation-

• I just feel like something is in that box besides the statue!!
• Steph calls out that Vince turned 70 during Raw and she gets all cry baby like. They sing Happy Birthday shittly too but it was great, which makes me think… Is Happy Birthday allowed to be sung without paying copyright?
• I seriously zone out when HHH talks, plus there are two cops talking to my caretaker right now and I’m super nosy… My wife went to investigate, but I’m all wondering what is going on.
• I hear something about the Mount Rushmore of wrestling and I am like… what is going on outside my patio? Both squad cars drove away.
• ok so I paused it, found out what the deal was, some guy down on the other end of the complex broke into an apartment and the caretaker caught him running out. When I was on my smoke break earlier, I picked some weeds by the apartment and instead of throwing them away, I threw them into the parking lot. She went into the parking lot a bit later to throw the weeds away and saw the guy. So good thing I’m lazy huh??
• Rollins is spouting stuff about being the cure, he puts over the fact the for a decade Cena was the man, he then said that ended last night,
• Rollins dropped the “to be the man, you gotta beat the man.” Then told ‘Trips’ to unveil the statue
• He just keeps talking, THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMEONE IN THERE!!!
• They are taking too long, I almost lost interest….. drum roll…. and STING!!
• That is pretty dope.. HAHA I just jumped cause I was startled because my caretaker just opened the door and said some woman broke the window in the bar a quarter mile away, haha this heightened my mood, Sting held the belt up too the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
• Stings music hit and everyone went crazy, that was really cool, plus WHERE DID STING PUT THE STATUE?!??

And I’m Like… What the hell, that was very fun for me, with the craziness outside my house and on my television, Raw next week will be fun I hope!! Thank you for reading

Y’all have a good one.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-61715/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-61715/#comments Fri, 19 Jun 2015 03:42:43 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Reviews Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Cesaro Dean Ambrose John Cena Kane Kevin Owens Money in the Bank Nikki Bella NXT Paige Roman Reigns Sheamus Smackdown Stephanie McMahon The Bella Twins wrestling WWE WWE Network http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12504 The week is nearly through and for the first time in forever, we've got some room to breathe until the next WWE live event hits the Network. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is your weekly breakdown of Thursday Night Smackdown. I'm here to make your job easier by telling you WHAT'S COOKIN […]

The week is nearly through and for the first time in forever, we've got some room to breathe until the next WWE live event hits the Network. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is your weekly breakdown of Thursday Night Smackdown. I'm here to make your job easier by telling you WHAT'S COOKIN and WHAT DOESN'T MATTER!

COOKIN is in BOLD!
DOESN'T MATTER is in ITALICS!

The show begins with the same Dusty Rhodes memoriam graphic that kicked off Raw, NXT, and Money in the Bank. We're spared the montage featuring the song "Raging Fire" by Phillip Phillips. It's not that I don't love the �Dream, and it's not that I don't adore that video and song—but I can't keep crying during wrestling. It's not a fun way to start things off. I was so excited to watch NXT last night and that video at the top of the show turned me into an emotional wreck for the fourth straight time. So in that regard, I'm happy we skipped it, but I'm sure we'll have a chance to see it before the night is through. The first face we see inside the arena is "Mr. Money in the Bank," the Celtic Warrior Sheamus! Sheamus calls the fans in attendance "narrow-minded people with pea-sized brains." He says that while the fans might have chanted "You Look Stupid," he doesn't feel stupid, now that he's in possession of the Money in the Bank briefcase. Sheamus rattles off a number of names that could pose a threat to his dominance in the WWE, including Seth Rollins, the Authority, and even the former World Champion Brock Lesnar. Sheamus assures the audience in attendance, and viewers around the world, that nothing is going to stand in his way: "You will be entertained." Once Sheamus is done speaking, Dean Ambrose's music hits and the Lunatic Fringe makes his way down the ramp. He says that he doesn't speak "Irish Gibberish," and just wants to clarify what Sheamus is saying. He tells the only Irish-born WWE champion that he already stood in his way, when he defeated him on Monday night. Apparently Dean doesn't understand that wins and losses don't matter in the WWE. Dean also says that if it wasn't for Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns would be "Mr. Money in the Bank." Ambrose calls him a potato farmer. Like—if Sheamus was Asian, and Ambrose called him a "rice farmer," that would be offensive. But potato farmer? Apparently not. Ambrose challenges Sheamus to another match, a bout that the former champion is more than willing to accept. Before a brawl can breakout, the Director of Operations enters: "Nobody is stealing anything tonight," Kane began, ready to book tonight's opening contest. Tonight's Smackdown will begin with a handicap match between Dean Ambrose and the duo of Kane and Sheamus. The match is underway and Ambrose does a fine job of eluding his enemies for quite a while. He tosses both men out of the ring individually so that he might focus on one opponent at a time. Dean Ambrose hits the top rope, but Kane grabs his leg and Ambrose is crotched on the turnbuckle. Kane and Sheamus sought to put the boots to Ambrose in this legal two-on-one encounter. As they continued to gain the upper hand, Roman Reigns' music hit and the Samoan Superman appeared out of nowhere! He saved Ambrose, although causing the disqualification for his friend in the process.

We come back from commercial break and get ready for Diva's action between the former NXT and Diva's Champion Paige and Brie Bella. I think it's insane that Brie and Nikki have legit, non-ironic fans. I like the Bellas quite a bit, but as far as their character, they're most certainly heels! They cheat to win, they're bullies, they're fucking MEAN GIRLS ! And there are still hundreds, if not THOUSANDS, of men and women who idolize the Bellas. Nikki doesn't escort her sister to ringside so as to prove the Bellas can win without "Twin Magic." Paige isn't beat for Brie's bullshit and hammers away at the 0-time Diva's champion and wife to Daniel Bryan. I personally think Brie is the most attractive Diva on the roster, but looks don't win matches—TOP ROPE POWER BOMBS DO! Brie hit a power bomb on Paige and we head into another break. We return and Brie is in complete control. I think the reason we've seen so many Bella/Paige matches as of recent is because they're unquestionably the best athletes on the main roster. As far as women, I mean. Putting Summer Rae on television would be the farther thing from what fans are seeing in NXT, and in essence, an invitation for main roster ridicule. But when could we see the likes of Sasha Banks, Charlotte, or Becky Lynch on the main roster? Hopefully sooner rather than later. This match keeps going and the women fall from the ring and to the outside; Paige hits the top rope, but loses her balance thanks to an interruption by Alicia Fox. Brie walked away with Alicia by her side; the two were joined by Nikki Bella on the stage, who presented Alicia with a set of red and black t-shirts. It would seem as though the Bella's are forming an army. Could that be the answer to my earlier question? Might Paige rally an army from NXT? Pretty decent match, and a fantastic story being told, considering the shallow nature of the Diva's Division.

Kevin Owens is backstage with Renee Young: "Say I beat him, use the microphone." Kevin Owens has a phenomenal way of communicating that's akin to Steve Austin in that I believe KEVIN OWENS is speaking, and not some WWE character. It's similar to how CM Punk was booked, but not nearly as over the top. Owens is speaking about his open challenge to the main roster, but clearly stating his NXT title will not be on the line. "Call me crazy Renee, I just kind of like it when guys—uh, you know— EARN their title shot?" That's when someone a few inches taller than Owens appeared off camera. How do we know this? Because Kevin looked up slightly and asked, "Can I help you?" It was Cesaro! The Swiss Superman says that he's been hearing a lot about "Fight Owens Fight," and wants to see what it's all about. Or something like that. The dialogue became a little incoherent, but the point was clear: Kevin Owens vs. Antonio Cesaro TONIGHT on Smackdown!

Dolph Ziggler appears in the arena wearing his now-signature denim vest, alongside his latest Squeeze Lana. Regardless of how I might feel about Ziggler, the dude scores some of the most CHOICE tail in the WWE. Why do I call �em tail? You're lucky I'm not calling them broads, okay? Ziggler reminds me of Bobby Budnick—you know? The red-haired trouble maker from Nickelodeon's "Salute Your Shorts?" He was also John Connor's friend in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. The point is he looks like a conglomerated caricature of the 1980s and 90s. Teen Wolf's opposition this evening is none other than the "Inspirational" Bo Dallas, who doesn't wait but a few steps before addressing his opponent as well as Lana on the mic: "You left Rusev with a broken heart, a broken body, and a broken soul! Despicable! Then you move on to Dolph Ziggler—LITERALLY the worst rebound ever! If Dolph Ziggler's profile popped up, I'd swipe left, and keep looking for a real man! He's out there somewhere Lana, all you have to do—is BO-LIEVE! This match is off to a good start with a drop kick from the Show Off, but Bo is quick to return the offense and raise the intensity from a steady seven to tumultuous ten. Bo is highly impressive in the way he dispatches with a former world champion; he locks his opponent in a front face lock and proceeds to fire away with a fury of knees. But that's not enough to defeat Dolph Ziggler of course. He come almost instantly and hits Dallas with a "Zig Zag" for a quick victory. Rusev could be seen backstage swearing, but Lana remained inside the arena—kissing the victorious Show Off.

I think it's really weird that the WWE is sponsored by Carl's Jr. and Hardees. Those are two fast food chains not available in all markets. We have Carl's Jr. here in SoCal but no Hardees. They have Hardees down along the "Bible Belt" but no Carl's Jr. My friends back in New Jersey? They have neither! Just Stewart's Root Beer and Sonic. Just a strange sponsor and an even stranger side note. Back to the action.

The New Day is in the ring as Xavier Woods prepares for battle against Adrian Neville. Neville was part of the threesome that defeated the New Day this past Monday, and Xavier wastes no time in putting the boots to Neville. Literally, puts the boots to him in a major way; Xavier kicks Neville in the back a dozen times before backing off and mounting a more scientific offensive. The action spills to the outside and Neville flies over the top rope, only to find himself cornered by the New Day. The odds aren't in Neville's favor, but the new tag team champions arrive to at least even the playing field. Neville goes for a Red Arrow but loses his balance and continues to mix it up with Xavier as the Prime Time Players deal with Big E and Kofi Kingston on the outside. Adrian goes for a second—this time SUCCESSFUL—Red Arrow, and earns the victory over Xavier Woods.

Seth Rollins heads down to ringside to address his upcoming title defense against Brock Lesnar at Battleground. Hey here's a question—why wasn't Michael Cole pissed about Lesnar's return? Aren't we to believe that Cole sued Lesnar over the F5 he suffered the night after Wrestlemania? He was all: "Oh my! Brock Lesnar! Vintage Monday Night Raw Network App Mountain Dew!!" Seth is standing in the ring by himself: "I am the biggest star in WWE; I am the WWE world heavyweight champion; and I am the undisputed future of this industry!" Seth goes on to describe the role of a WWE champion, mentioning the unprecedented scrutiny and the lack of respect he receives on a daily basis. "When I heard Brock's music on Monday the first reaction I had was SHOCKED. I mean, Brock Lesnar was maybe the absolute last person I expected Triple H and Stephanie to present as my challenger. I mean the last time I saw Brock, he was brutalizing WWE employees—a camera man, Michael Cole! (SEE?!) "But as he walked down that ramp and circled this ring, the shock turned to understanding. There's no other way. This is how it has to be. I've beaten everybody else! Orton, Reigns, Ambrose— EVERYBODY ! For me to cement my legacy, I have to defeat Brock Lesnar at Battleground. The same Brock Lesnar who conquered the Undertaker's streak at Wrestlemania. The same guy who took Roman Reigns and John Cena to Suplex City. That guy walked into the ring on Monday; he stood toe-to-toe with me, and he did NOTHING . And do you know why he did nothing? Because Brock Lesnar remembers Wrestlemania. Brock Lesnar knows better than anybody how DANGEROUS I can be! If he had taken one swing at me, I would've knocked his teeth down his throat and that mystique he walks around with will be gone forever!" Seth finished by saying he "can't wait" to wrestle Brock Lesnar at Battleground.

We get a quick reminder of the mind games being played by Bray Wyatt. This past Monday, Bray held up a photo of Roman Reigns' daughter, all while singing: "I'm a little teapot, short and stout…" Dean Ambrose and Roman are backstage, getting set for their tag team main event match. You'd think they'd be ready after two years of main eventing Smackdown in tag team matches, but no. Dean is making fun of Sheamus's hair, and Roman is staring into space, troubled by his current problems involving Bray Wyatt. He tells Dean that they need to get business done so that he can go home.

The next match is the "Kevin Owens Open Challenge," featuring the "King of Swing" Cesaro challenging the NXT champion in a non-title contest. Cesaro has a very cool look, and continues to sport his Kidd and Cesaro shirt in support of Tyson's quick recovery. This match is off and running and under the watchful eye of Charles "Lil' Naith" Robinson. They each hit the ground running and Owens even attempts multiple pins prior to the one-minute mark of the match. Things spill outside early, and Cesaro hits Kevin Owens with a somersault dive through the ropes. The action didn't stop there; Cesaro followed up with a running European Uppercut to Owens against the barricade. Owens enters the ring, but Cesaro remains on the offensive with a running clothesline. Owens tosses Cesaro's skull into the steel post and drags his opponent back into the squared circle. We head into a commercial, and by the time we return, Cesaro is back on his feet and going at the NXT champion with everything he has. Owens surprises the former tag team champion with a tornado DDT from the middle rope, and attempts to put the Swiss Superman away with his version of the "Neutralizer." Cesaro countered and tried for the big swing but to no avail, however he did hit a massive torture rack slam. Back and forth this match went across multiple commercial breaks. The WWE really seems to be high on this Kevin Owens guy, and with good reason. Nobody has had the caliber of contests that Kevin has in recent weeks, especially when you account for the stars he's mixing it up with. He's defeated Sami Zayn, Adrian Neville, Dolph Ziggler, John Cena—and Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro was crotched on the top turnbuckle and that was the straw that broke the Camel's back. Owens responded with an Irish whip, followed by the Pop Up Powerbomb. Kevin Owens is your winner and this was absolutely, positively—the match of the night.

There's a backstage segment where the Miz buries the Big Show as an actor while trying not to talk shit about his upcoming movie with Dean Cain, "Vendetta."

We head into commercial and when we return, we see the Dusty Rhodes video again. Though I skipped through most of it, fearful that I might breakdown like Renee Young again, I still managed to see the tail end. Dusty is standing alone in the NXT ring with no audience, his hat in his hand, and a solemn message. For who exactly? I mentioned on this week's episode of "The Last Cast with Mark and Gary" that I think he might have prepared that final bit of footage with his own mortality in sight. I'm not saying he knew he was going to die, but people get older, and some people prepare video wills and final testaments . What do you think? Was it just some random footage, or did the �Dream record his final words in advance?

It's the main event—a tag team match playa! Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are so close that it's almost obvious they're going to have issues down the line. It's like one of those couples who spend 7-days-a-week together for the first six weeks of their relationship. They're gonna burn out and that shit isn't going to last, but do you tell them? No. You just watch, and that's what we're doing with Dean and his boyfriend Roman. Kane and Sheamus are the former Shield brother's opponents tonight. I'll be honest with you guys—I'm an avid and outspoken proponent of medical cannabis. I took a few big hits at the beginning of this match because I just don't care. So I'm not 100% on the move-by-move analysis. But it can't just be me, can it? Sheamus and Kane? Is that doing it for you? Versus Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose—two guys that are duller than dirt when they aren't working opposite Seth Rollins. I just didn't care and once I finally got back into the nuts and bolts of this match—when the initial buzz subsided—I was right to be wary. This match laborious and predictable and came at the end of a very strong two hours of WWE programming. Look through the column—there's not many italicized portions this week, at least in contrast to the bold, right? That means this was a pretty good week! Owens vs. Cesaro, Xavier vs. Neville, the mischievous Diva's, and a few pretty solid promos. And then this. I'm sorry if I'm being a downer, but I'm generally pretty optimistic about the WWE. This was just miserable. The match ended when Roman went for the Superman Punch, only to be distracted once more by Bray Wyatt—this time on the TitanTron. Sheamus took advantage and blindsided Roman with a Brogue Kick to earn the 1-2-3 on the 2015 Royal Rumble Winner.

Following the main event, Roman sat in the squared circle, staring off into the distance while Bray remained on the screen: "Happy Father's Day Roman—RUN!" The lights went out and when they came back on, Roman was in the ring with a photo of his daughter.

Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/smackdown-whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/smackdown-whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter/#comments Fri, 12 Jun 2015 05:15:24 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Reviews Big Show Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Jerry Lawler John Cena Kane Seth Rollins Smackdown Triple H World Wrestling Entertainment wrestling WWE WWE Network Wwe Smackdown WWE Wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12346 Did you guys know that Limp Bizkit is the WWE's favorite band in the WHOLE world? And that "Crack Addict" is amongst their favorite songs? Well maybe not so much anymore. My, how the times have changed! My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I spent the morning surfing, the afternoon writing, and the evening […]

Did you guys know that Limp Bizkit is the WWE's favorite band in the WHOLE world? And that "Crack Addict" is amongst their favorite songs? Well maybe not so much anymore. My, how the times have changed! My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I spent the morning surfing, the afternoon writing, and the evening watching Wrestlemania XIX. Now it's on to Thursday Night Smackdown, so I've got all sorts of lines crossed and ideas floating around inside my cerebral cortex. I haven't had a chance to watch the show as of this writing, so we will be discovering the most exciting and least entertaining moments of the night together. You've checked into Cheap-Heat.com, and this is "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter: Your Smackdown Breakdown."

SEGMENTS IN BOLD ARE COOKING! SEGMENTS IN ITALICS DON'T MATTER!

The show opens with the "Lunatic Fringe" Dean Ambrose en route to the ring from the rafters. He's heading down through the crowd, still in possession of Seth Rollins' WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Dean is rocking a whole bunch of Mardi Gras beads from his time down on Bourbon Street this past Monday Night. Dean cuts a hell of a promo, promising to walk out of this weekend's Money in the Bank as the undisputed heavyweight champion. Seth Rollins crashes the party and tells Ambrose that he's no different than the "scum inside the arena and not in [Seth's] league." Seth warns Dean to give him his title back before he takes it from him. Dean tells Seth to relax and suggests he should "take a chill pill." Dean leaves the belt in the middle of the ring and invites Seth to take it, but not before admitting that it isn't the real world heavyweight title belt. Seth asks where it is, and Dean says it's somewhere between where they are now and New Orleans, but assures everybody that he will in fact find it before Money in the Bank. Dean escapes and Seth calls after him that he's "not done with him yet," but the "Big Red Machine" arrives, and quickly alerts the champion that he is in fact done with Dean. "Last week on Raw you had the opportunity to choose any opponent that you wanted," Kane began, "And you failed! If that happens Sunday then you lose the WWE World Heavyweight title. You won't have any help from the Authority, you'll truly be on your own. Just like you'll be on your own tonight against a Money in the Bank ladder match participant—Dolph Ziggler!"

We head into our first commercial of the night and when we return it's time for one-on-one competition. The Miz is squaring off against "The Big Guy," the current intercontinental champion, Ryback. This match is the result of weeks' worth of animosity between Ryback and Miz, as well as Big Show and Ryback—and Miz. This is a fun match where the Miz has more than a handful of chances to prove what kind of competitor he has the ability to be. All too often people get down on the man born Michael Mizanin, but why? Because he was on a few MTV programs prior to arriving in the WWE Universe? He's been under contract for ten years. He's a former WWE Champion. He beat John Cena at Wrestlemania! What more do you want? The Miz is today's Ted DiBiase; he's a true heel with no redeeming qualities. And that includes no flashy moves to make audiences stop and say "wow." His encounter with the "Big Guy" is interesting because it involves quite a bit of offense from the "A-Lister." The Miz enjoys an outward advantage, and locks-in the Figure Four, only to find himself far too close for comfort with Ryback. Ryback fights back and teeters on the edge of victory before being hit with the "Skull Crushing Finale." Ryback kicks out at two, and the Miz continues his assault, mocking Ryback all the while. Ryback hits the Miz with "Shell Shock," and immediately scores a pinfall. Can Ryback do that again this Sunday against the Big Show? We will find out—and then we'll talk about it on the B+ Players Podcast! Following the bell, the Big Show made his way onto the stage. He informed Ryback that while he wishes he could say he was impressed, nothing impresses him anymore. After 20 years of being a giant, there's nothing that surprises him, and there's no one that can match up to the Big Show. Ryback then told �Show "not to sing it," but to "bring it." The Louisiana fans went wild as Big Show got closer to the ring, but booed when the "Giant" backed away and up the ramp.

Jack Swagger is on Smackdown! And tonight he's set to compete with the 2015 King of the Ring, Bad News Barrett. R Truth is sitting at commentary alongside Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, and Tom Phillips, scouting his competition for this Sunday's Money in the Bank pay-per-view. I mean "Special Event." I mean "Special Event Kick Off Show." Whatever it is, that's when R Truth will battle King Barrett. This match doesn't last more than a few moments, and quickly degenerates to nothing as Truth begins to dress in Barrett's Kingly cloak at ringside. This distracts Barrett, but not long enough to cost him the match. Barrett picks up the victory, and the edge over the trouble Truth, as he prepares to defeat the former NWA World Champion this Sunday.

We get a glimpse of a WWE.com exclusive interview with Lana, conducting by the Voice of the WWE, Michael Cole. Lana brags about a whole bunch of things that girls only truly care about during the first few months of a relationship. She tells Michael Cole that her and Dolph "read books together, and then they talk about them." Who does that? That's an antiquated form of intimacy that only really exists in micro-pockets of hipster society. Moving on—this segment is COOKIN', believe it or not, especially when Rusev appears on crutches, humbling asking Lana not to go with Ziggler. "He's been with many other women," is a sentence I'm choosing to paraphrase. Here's a direct quote: "Submit yourself to me and no one else." Does anyone else think Rusev might just be having trouble with translations? I mean, right? What's that old saying? Make a misogynistic comment once, shame on me. Make a misogynistic comment twice—well then it's not me, it's you." Lana looked at Rusev and alerted him that it's over. Rusev screamed and yelled at Michael Cole and told him that it was his fault, before chasing him out. Let me ask you—how is this a WWE.com Exclusive if I'm watching it on Smackdown?

Dolph Ziggler is set for action against the current WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Seth Rollins. Rollins makes his way down to ringside by himself—sans the world title belt, as well as his former Security Detail. Things kick off with an exchange of mat-based grapples—including hammer and headlocks—and quickly evolve to a faster pace. Watching Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins compete is akin to what it was like to view the "Heartbreak Kid" go head-to-head with the "Hitman" before either man ever reached superstardom. Things head to the outside and Seth Rollins sends Dolph Ziggler spiraling into the time keepers desk, where he remains until he regains his composure. When we return, things are heating up, and regardless of who might be in command, it's still anyone's ball game. Seth hits a slew of signature spots, and despite his own attractive blend of maneuvers, Dolph was unable to outperform the world champion. Seth rolled Dolph up with a handful of tights to gain the advantage and earn the victory over a former "world champion." This match crossed a number of commercial breaks, and featured two of the most exciting Superstars in the WWE. The back and forth was organic and not based on high spots and poor salesmanship. This has the potential to be my match of the week for WWE. To find out for sure, tune into the "Outsiders' Edge" at Cheap-Heat.com this Saturday, where I'll talk about it with Dario Rivera!

It's time for WWE Diva's competition! The number one contender to Nicki Bella's championship is squaring off against Edge and Vickie Guerrero's former wedding planner. Paige is wrestling Alicia Fox, when some asshole with a headset deems it necessary to compare the Bella's and Paige to "Celine Dion and Marilyn Manson." I don't even know what that means. The commentators don't talk about this match one bit until Paige finally puts the match away with the "Paige Tap Out." What a dumb name for a move. It's okay Paige, I know you didn't name that shit. Instead they talk about the Bella's and Total Diva's, and Celine Dion, and their choice of wardrobe. Jerry Lawler says some terribly outdated things, that not even Rusev would dare try and get away with. At one point, he said: "I love seeing the Diva's argue peacefully, but later on they'll do it physically, which I love even more." I would like it if Jerry Lawler said something like that about a male wrestler. Just once I'd like to see some shit pop off between Diego of Los Matadors and Adam Rose and Jerry Lawler says, "Ooo! I can't wait to see them be physical!" What a joke he has become.

There's a very cool theatrical vignette designed to sell this weekend's match between Kevin Owens and John Cena, followed by an awesome little promo by the Prime Time Players. Renee Young is about to ask Titus is the �Players are prepared to challenge for the tag team titles this Sunday, and Titus cuts here off, assuring her that the Prime Time Players are in fact ready. Titus said that this was going to be the �Player's "Coming Out Party." Darren Young joked that last summer was the "Coming Out Party," to which Titus replied, "No that was your coming out party, and you should be very proud." One of the rare acknowledgements to D-Young's sexuality on television, done in a tasteful and respectful manner. I like it.

Tonight's main event is a six-man tag team match featuring all of the combatants from this weekend's Money in the Bank ladder match, minus Dolph Ziggler. Not the ladder match for the world title, mind you. Because remember, there is a world title ladder match at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view. During a time when there are three events in six weeks, they save the ladder match for the only show guaranteed to already have a fucking ladder match? Go home Vince, you're drunk. This match pits Sheamus, Kane, and Kofi Kinston against Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, and the "Man That Gravity Forgot" Neville. This is an enjoyable enough bout, but like any multi man match on a go-home show, it's terribly reverse-engineered and horribly predictable. While no one was able to fully trust their team mates, it was the team of babyfaces that made the short-lived alliance work in their favor. Randy hit the RKO, but the New Day made the save and caused the disqualification. Dolph Ziggler hit the ring to join the action, and Neville jumped from on top of the ladder in the ring onto his six opponents at Money in the Bank. Who do I think is winning the MITB ladder match? Read my "Educated Guess: Money in the Bank" available tomorrow at NOON PST at Cheap-Heat.com!

Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-smackdown-52815/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-smackdown-52815/#comments Fri, 29 May 2015 02:10:35 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Reviews Brock Lesnar Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose ECW HHH John Cena Kevin Owens NXT RAW Ring of Honor ROH Roman Reigns Seth Rollins Smackdown TNA WCW wrestling WWE WWE Network http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12059 The WWE has been on a roll as of late, I'm not sure if you guys feel the same way or not, feel free to chime in below in the comments. Payback wasn't a dramatically terrible show; NXT Takeover Unstoppable featured the arrival of Samoa Joe and a potential 5-star women's title match; and Kevin […]

The WWE has been on a roll as of late, I'm not sure if you guys feel the same way or not, feel free to chime in below in the comments. Payback wasn't a dramatically terrible show; NXT Takeover Unstoppable featured the arrival of Samoa Joe and a potential 5-star women's title match; and Kevin Owens has been pushed to the top of the card where he will meet John Cena this weekend at Elimination Chamber. I mean—just look at the Chamber itself, and you can see why I'm optimistic about what's to come in the very near future. We've got the first-EVER tag team elimination chamber match—an event that us video game nerds have witnessed before, but never thought we'd see portrayed live! And with six teams involved! And an intercontinental title match—inside the most demonic structure that Satan (Eric Bischoff) could have ever constructed? Sign me up! Seriously guys, all exaggerations and hyperbole aside, it's a good time to be a WWE fan, and Brock Lesnar hasn't even come back yet. Money in the Bank is still one month away, and Monday Night Raw has been consistently splendid for four weeks in a row. What year is this? Where am I? Who is the President? Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter."

Tonight's episode opens with the "Lunatic Fringe" Dean Ambrose , who makes his way to the ring wearing a t-shirt, rather than a dumb fucking leather jacket. Dean recounts the events of Monday Night when he was arrested so that he wouldn't be able to sign his contract for his upcoming match against Seth Rollins at Elimination Chamber. Dean cuts a very natural promo and says that he was given one phone call whilst in custody and decided to drop the dime on Roman Reigns. He asked Roman to "buy him some time," so that he could figure a way out of jail. Dean then showed a WWE YouTube video, wherein Seth Rollins is caught pushing the camera man into Dean. This was all the cops needed to release the �Lunatic; the New York police officers gave him a ride back to the arena and "even let him drive the paddy wagon." Dean warns Seth that he will beat the hell out of him at Elimination Chamber, and will do the same during their tag team match in tonight's main event. This was about 5 minutes long and didn't lead to any ridiculous dialogue with the Authority, so I was really happy to see the way it turned out. It was COOKIN' for sure.

The first match tonight is a tag team lumberjack match between Kidd and Cesaro and the Lucha Dragons. Tyson Kidd is wearing a baseball cap and Cesaro is wearing a bandana over the bottom portion of his face. Tyson Kidd starts things out against Sin Cara with nine additional athletes positioned around ringside. The WWE tag division has been a shell of its former self in recent years and is finally returning to its past glory, and might even be surpassing previous expectations. Why is that? A lot of it has to do with the quality of the current roster, but much can be owed to the make-up of various teams. In the past we've seen "Super Teams" dominate the tag division; Chris Jericho and the Big Show, Randy Orton and Edge, John Cena and Shawn Michaels, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin, Steve Austin and Dude Love, the BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION! While they were awesome teams, clearly capable of securing gold, they were short lived programs that were meant to build to an ultimate singles encounter. These teams are actual tag teams, similar to the Hart Foundation, the British Bulldogs, or Strike Force! Both teams involved in this match are well-versed in tag team competition and know how to utilize their partner to gain the advantage through teamwork. The various teams surrounding the ring are equally dedicated to their tandems and perform better as a result. This was an awesome match, and when the dust settled, it was the former NXT tag team champion Lucha Dragons who held their hands high. Tyson Kidd reversed an attempted hurricanrana by Kalisto into the Sharpshooter, but Sin Cara spring-boarded from the top rope to break things up. The New Day distracted Kidd from the action and Kalisto gets the victory. It's the first match of the night, but this might just be the—uh, well—MATCH OF THE NIGHT! This was COOKIN' like anybody might expect. Definite must-see.

I'm really convinced that R Truth's character is based on a PCP-addicted underground rapper from the New York tristate area. I told this story before, but I'd like to sum it up as a limerick—

"There once was a rapper on drugs,
Who swore he was covered in bugs.
Lost all his wits,
And ate a girls tits.
And he spoke to invisible thugs."

So I mean—R Truth has an imaginary friend, he's irrationally afraid of spiders, he's a rapper. If he consumes a woman's breasts then there's really no question as to where his character comes from. Obviously I'm kidding. Not about the rapper on PCP, that's real. R Truth is wrestling King Bad News Wade Barrett in a preview bout for this weekend's Elimination Chamber match for the intercontinental championship. Surprisingly, R Truth picked up a win, but was immediately blindsided by the Celtic Warrior. Sheamus entered the ring and attacked his adversaries, before leaving with his head held high. This was COOKIN' because R Truth beat Wade Barrett clean, and that was pretty neat to see. It was also short enough that it's worth checking out between segments anyway. Main event? No way. Match of the night? Hell no. But a decent bout nonetheless.

There's a quick backstage promo featuring Lana as she speaks with Renee Young regarding the events on Raw involving Rusev. She says that she is "no possession" of any man, and isn't a prize to be won. Renee asks about her relationship with Dolph Ziggler; Lana says there is no relationship with Dolph Ziggler, despite the footage suggesting the contrary. Lana is interrupted by Rusev and asks if he's there to start screaming again, and wants to know if he's going to keep acting like a child. Rusev smiles: "Why bother? I already had my way with your little Dolph Ziggler. Where is he now? Is he in the medical facility? Is he at home drinking hot cocoa? Or maybe he's just afraid to show up because he knows I'm here." He says he isn't jealous of Dolph, which appears to weigh heavy on his former main squeeze. He leave her with the words: "You dug your grave, now you rot in it." This was fucking ridiculously cool. It was COOKIN', for sure, and lead into the events of the next segment.

Ryback is going head-to-head with the "Bulgarian Brute," who continues to carry the Red, White, and GREEN of his native Bulgaria. If I was Miroslav Barnyashev—Rusev's real name—I would be pretty jazzed to finally carry my own nation's banner to the ring. That's pretty rad. I'm happy to see how Rusev is being treated, especially following that exchange with Lana just moments ago. I was worried that Rusev might be forced into the jealous ex-boyfriend position, set to snap at every given opportunity. I was hoping Lana was playing her part to help Rusev win the Intercontinental Championship. Perhaps she will use her feminine wilds to attract Dolph and put him off his game? But if that was the case, wouldn't Lana be flirting with EVERY one of Rusev's opponents? I also don't think there's much to achieve from a 2-week storyline featuring Dolph Ziggler for no reason. So I'm inclined to believe Lana will remain with Ziggler for the time being. Although it is interesting to speculate on what could be going through the mind of the "Ravishing Russian." Dolph said from the start that he knew Lana was playing games, and that he didn't mind. Now it seems that Rusev doesn't mind either. So what's Lana have to do to get what she wants now that the aforementioned feminine wilds aren't getting the job done? This match was what it was—a "Big Hoss" match between two big bad powerhouses. Ryback is most certainly going to get a visit from Bray Wyatt this Sunday, and as for Rusev? As of this writing, Rusev is reported to have suffered an injury that could sideline him come Sunday. If he does enter the Elimination Chamber, I'm sure he'll fall victim to some sort of tomfoolery involving Dolph and Lana. This match lasted longer than I would have guessed, spanning the one-hour mark and earning both men a chance to look strong in front of a world-wide audience. Rusev lost the match via disqualification after repeatedly slamming Ryback's head into the steel post. Rusev won the battle, but the war will continue this Sunday at the Elimination Chamber. A match that was most certainly COOKIN'!

Up next is a Diva's match between the two women who will simultaneously challenge Nikki Bella for her title at the Elimination Chamber. Paige and Naomi have unfinished business stemming from the Monday Night Raw in England when Naomi attacked Paige after a Diva's Battle Royal. I'm not incredibly impressed with Naomi. Everyone seems to be enamored with her "in-ring ability," and to that I wonder—what IN RING ability? I guess in the grand scheme of Playboy Bunnies and Bella Twins, Naomi is a pretty decent athlete, but context plays a huge part in how good Naomi really is. When facing someone as seasoned and reputable as Paige, Naomi is exposed for how inexperienced she truly is. Paige is the only woman in WWE history to hold both the NXT and Diva's championship. Not only that, but she held them at the same time, until being forced to relinquish her NXT title upon her "promotion" to Raw. Naomi relies heavily on slow-paced rest holds and over-the-top character work that doesn't sell me on her as a wrestler. Paige, on the other hand, is fluid and makes every movement appear almost effortless. The 2-time Diva's Champion hit Naomi with the "Rampaige" for the 1-2-3 and Paige will head into the Elimination Chamber with a psychological edge over Naomi. I hate to say the first and only women's match of the night DOESN'T MATTER—especially since everything up until now has been COOKIN', but I've got to be fair and weight each segment honestly. Following the bell, Nikki and Brie appeared on the stage, and everyone stared everyone else down—who the fuck are the babyfaces? Because they're all coming off like arrogant heels.

Kevin Owens is on Smackdown to talk about his upcoming match with John Cena at Elimination Chamber with Michael Cole. Before Cole can say anything, Jerry Lawler reacts to his appearance on Smackdown by exclaiming: "Ah! Look who it is!" Like Michael Cole isn't on Smackdown all the time, or something. Cole introduces Owens, who receives a mixed reaction from a WWE Universe seemingly unaware of his stardom. Those fans that know Owens are losing their shit, and the little kids who saw him powerbomb Cena and stomp on his title are throwing him the "thumbs down" by the thousands. Owens doesn't care who knows his name, he only cares about fighting and making money, which is why he doesn't give Michael Cole any respect. He points and laughs at the TitanTron during the replay of what went down between he and John Cena and Michael Cole begins by saying, "Kevin you've been in the WWE for two weeks now…" Kevin cut him off, explaining that while he's been a part of the main roster for the first time, he's been a dominant aspect of NXT for several months. In fact, been in this business for fifteen years. "I've competed all over the world—not just competed mind you, but dominated." Michael Cole says that John Cena isn't a normal competitor, but Kevin cuts him off again and lists Cena's accolades himself: "Fifteen world championships, two Royal Rumble Match victories, eleven Wrestlemanias, 57 varieties of terrible t-shirt designs. And over 1000 ways to SUCK. See I am the NXT Champion. Yet, John Cena walks around and acts like I've got something to prove to him, when in fact, if you ask me—John Cena is the one that's got something to prove to me." Michael Cole said he has a unique perspective, and quoted John Cena's earlier words regarding Owens' inability to "finish" a fight. "Why don't we take a look at what I did to Sami Zayn Michael," Owens said, "And you can tell me if I know how to finish a fight." After the video, Cole raised his microphone to respond, and Owens pushed it away. "At NXT Takeover: Unstoppable, I did exactly what I told the world I would do, and that's further my career by taking out Sami Zayn for good. But Sami Zayn is my best friend. Sami Zayn is someone I traveled the world with for ten years. SAMI ZAYN is I was closer to than anyone else on the planet. And that's what I did to him. Now if I'll do that to someone I care about, imagine what I'll do to John Cena." Owens began to turn away and thought again, "Actually you don't have to imagine it, just watch Elimination Chamber and you will witness it first-hand. And once I do that, there will be no question that the REAL champ—is here." COOKIN'! COOKIN'! COOKIN'! COOKIN'!

The next match is the main event tag team bout between Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns and the Authority's Kane and the world champion Seth Rollins. The producers in �Gorilla' didn't wait for Kevin Owens to return through the curtain; Dean Ambrose's music hit as Owens was making his way up the ramp, and the two exchanged looks before going their separate ways. I have to say, I really like the direction they're heading with Dean Ambrose, which is saying a lot. If you're a regular reader, then you know I'm not the biggest fan of the "Lunatic Fringe," but his last few weeks on top of the roster have been a welcome change to the inordinate antics and exceptional losing streak we were privy to just three months ago. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose have a very interesting relationship, and despite how goofy it was, I actually liked the story about Dean calling Roman from jail and asking him to "buy some time." That's the kind of storytelling I like, quite frankly. I said during my Raw recap this week that Kane is best served in these tag team matches that don't expose his weaknesses and allow for him to remain an ancillary character in support of the principle acts. What does that mean? It means when he's in one-on-one competition he looks like a fucking joke, while tag team competition appears to be his bread and butter. This match was full of really cool moments that weren't so absurd that they rendered the athleticism obsolete. I think the program between Rollins and Ambrose allows for a fair amount of both brawling as well as technique. Rollins and Reigns went one-on-one during the final moments of the match where Roman went for a "Superman Punch," but missed, and instead opted for a powerbomb. The former "Architect" of the Shield wormed his way out of harm's way only to catch that same "Superman Punch" the next time around. Roman dropped for the cover, but J&J Security caused the disqualification before the champion could be pinned. After the match, all hell broke loose involving the participants of the match, and then the New Day! The tag team champions joined in and attacked number one contender and Roman Reigns, but received a slew of signature maneuvers for their trouble before Kane and Seth Rollins finally achieved the upper hand. Seth Rollins hit Dean Ambrose with the Pedigree and another episode of Thursday—er I mean Friday—wait no, yeah Thursday Night Smackdown is in the books.

Smackdown always tends to deliver because it's a taped show full of backstage shenanigans and cosmetic edits, not to mention it's only two hours long. I enjoyed this week's show as much as any other episode of Smackdown in recent memory, but can't help but wonder what—if anything—could get Smackdown to that next level. We can rule out taking the show live unless the WWE wants to completely overhaul their production model. Maybe an exclusive title? What do you guys think? Comment below or feel free to hit me up in social media. Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook, and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/#comments Wed, 27 May 2015 22:52:11 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Adrian Neville Bad News Barrett Big E Bo Dallas Cesaro Chamber Darren Young Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler El Torito Elimination Elimination Chamber IC Title John Cena Kane Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Los Matadores Lucha Dragons Naomi Natayla Nikki Bella NXT Title Paige Primetime Players R-Truth RAW Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown Stephanie McMahon Tag Team Wrestling The Ascension The Authority The New Day Titus O'Neil Triple H Tyson Kidd US Title WWE WWE Intercontinental Championship WWE Network WWE Tag Team Championship WWE World Heavyweight Championship Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12019 Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length […]

Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length main roster event exclusive to the WWE Network. King of the Ring was only an hour long, and aside from the quarterly NXT specials, we don't get much in the way of LIVE in-ring action that isn't also available through your local cable providers. The �Chamber will go off the air a mere hour before the "Free Month of May" concludes, and will feature the first ever tag team Elimination Chamber match as well as the main roster debut of Kevin Owens. It can be assumed that WWE is planning something to keep the cheapskates hooked through June, but what ever could it be? My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I refuse to make predictions. Instead I collect all the knowledge I can acquire and present you with my monthly—or weekly at this point—"Educated Guess."

Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas
Is there any doubt as to what might be the opening bout on the card? I think not. The only question is whether or not the WWE is going to drop the ball on Adrian Neville, by affording Bo Dallas a victory. I can see both sides of the coin, but choose to argue in favor of "The Man That Gravity Forgot." Adrian lost the King of the Ring tournament in the finals and failed to defeat John Cena for the United States Championship two weeks later on Raw. If Adrian Neville is to become a player on the WWE main roster, he needs to be handled with care until more athletes of his ilk arrive, otherwise he could be just another seat filler, a la Kaval or Evan Bourne.
Educated Guess: Adrian Neville

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Divas Championship
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi vs. Paige
For the first time in many months, I've halfway curious about the WWE Diva's championship. The women down in NXT have done a fine job of stealing the spotlight in recent months, but that's no slight against the current crop of women on the main roster. Nikki Bella has been improving by leaps and bounds as of late, and so has Naomi, who has been a top performer since she was first given the chance to prove herself. Those two WWE Divas will go head-to-head-to-head in a triple threat match with the former NXT Women's Champion Paige. The three-way dance formula is perfect if the idea is to strip Nikki of the title without hurting her credibility on the cusp of a possible NXT invasion. But I don't think it's time for Nikki to lose the title. Say what you will about the Bella's, but they've maintained their grip on the purple butterfly belt since the summer. Why build such an impressive streak if you're going to drop the title to Paige, a former Diva's champion, or Naomi, who quite frankly, isn't in the same league as Paige or the incoming crop of talent. I think it'd be smart to leave the title around Nikki's waist until someone like Charlotte or Sasha Banks is promoted to the main roster. I think Nikki should be the symbolic end of the "Diva Era," and affixing the strap to someone like Naomi would be pointless.
Educated Guess: Nikki Bella

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
I wasn't really sold on an Elimination Chamber event in the smack-dab center of the Spring until this match was announced on Raw two weeks ago. Granted, that might have been the same night the event was announced. It doesn't matter! This is a true dream match that fantasy bookers and wrestling nerds across the world have been discussing since Kevin Owens became a force to be reckoned with in both Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. The way in which Owens' has dealt with the United States champion over the past two weeks has been utterly remarkable, and I really can't wait to see how this match unfolds. Up until now, most of Owens' opponents have been smaller than him, save for NXT announcer Alex Riley. This will be Kevin Owens' greatest challenge since debuting for the WWE, without a doubt. I don't think there will be a winner, and if there is, he'll have his hand raised as a result of a disqualification. I think one of two things will happen; Kevin might lose the will to compete all together. As he's said time and again, he fights for a prize, but the US Title isn't his prize. Kevin Owens might lose interest in fighting John Cena, and could introduce a steel chair to the match, the same as he's done with Sami Zayn. On the other hand, Kevin Owens has quite a few enemies in the WWE. Think about this for a second: in addition to John Cena, Kevin Owens is currently feuding with Sami Zayn, Finn Balor [by proxy of the NXT title], Samoa Joe, and potentially even William Regal. There is no shortage of angry individuals who might interrupt this match, and I for one am hoping to see Samoa Joe.
Educated Guess: No Contest

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The New Day (c) vs. Kidd and Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Prime Time Players vs. The Ascension
It's the first-ever Tag Team Elimination Chamber Match! Well, outside of a video game that is. We wondered how this match would happen and whether we would get three, four, five, or six teams. We got six! Which means four teams will be crammed into those Plexiglas pods, as they wait for their number to be called. I think the inclusion of Los Matadores, the Lucha Dragons, and the Ascension was a mere formality. I expect a few high spots from each team, especially the Lucha Dragons, but when it comes right down to it, this is a three-team program. The Primetime Players are becoming a very interesting part of what's already been a breakout success between the New Day and the "Best Team Ever." I expect this to come down to the two warring teams, and I strongly believe we'll see Kidd and Cesaro walk away as new-two-time tag team champion.
Educated Guess: Kidd and Cesaro

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Rusev vs. R Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett
I have to say—I really don't care. I know it sounds callous; the intercontinental championship is being featured in an Elimination Chamber match, and I should be excited. The WWE is finally treating its longtime number two title with the same respect that NJPW gives its belt by the same name. But when it really comes down to it, I don't care about three of the combatants, and I don't want to see the other three with the intercontinental championship. Dolph Ziggler could retire tomorrow for all I care, I really don't enjoy his work. I'm sure his program with Rusev and Lana will take center stage as far as the "Show Off" is concerned, so as much as I might like to see Rusev with the white IC belt, I'm assuming they'll continue their feud without any kind of gold involved. Then there's King Barrett and Sheamus, whom I enjoy very much, but I don't want them to be Intercontinental Champion! I want Sheamus in the main event, and I think King Barrett's monarchy is the perfect foil to John Cena's US title reign. Then there's the Big Guy—don't care about the Big Guy. I also assume, since we don't see Bray Wyatt anywhere on the card, that we might get a surprise run in from the "Eater of Worlds," which would in turn eliminate Ryback. So who's left? Who haven't I mentioned? Oh yeah! R Truth—whose gimmick is that he's a rapper who's afraid of Spiders. Okay—here's why that's funny to me. About ten years ago there was an underground rapper who made headlines when he smoked PCP and proceeded to "eat his girlfriends breasts off of her body." In addition, he claimed to have seen and felt spiders all over his arms and legs during the experience. So maybe R Truth's gimmick is that he's on PCP.
Educated Guess: Sheamus

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose is without a doubt a future WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Without question! I don't think however, that Dean Ambrose is winning his first world title on an impromptu �Network special that was only booked so as to trick dumb cheapskates into signing up passed the "Free Month of May." That being said, I expect this to be the match of the night if Kevin Owens and John Cena fail to deliver. Although they will. And who cares? Cena and Owens are newly-christened enemies who are sure to have a match that ends under precarious circumstances. Dean and Seth have a longstanding rivalry stemming from an ultimate betrayal suffered more than one year ago. I'm sure Seth is going to "cheat to win," as was the mantra of the late great Eddie Guerrero, but that doesn't mean the preceding 20-minutes or so won't be an enjoyable thrill-ride. These guys always deliver, and if you don't agree, then watch some of their previous pay-per-view battles available on the WWE Network. Oh but if you watch Hell in a Cell, turn it off before the ghost shows up. No question who's winning, but I look forward to the journey from beginning to end nonetheless.
Educated Guess: Seth Rollins

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http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-payback-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-payback-2015/#comments Wed, 13 May 2015 20:55:50 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Adrian Neville Axelmania Bad News Barrett Bray Wyatt Cesaro Curtis Axel Damian Sandow Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Elimination Chamber Hulk Hogan John Cena King of the Ring Lana Macho Man Macho Mandow Money in the Bank Neville Payback Professional Wrestling Randy Orton Roman Reigns Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus The Ascension The New Day Tyson Kidd World Wrestling Entertainment Wrestlemania WWE WWE Network WWE Payback http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=11717 It feels as though I was just writing a predication piece for "Extreme Rules," and yet here we are again for another WWE Network Special. And if that's not crazy enough, take a look at this schedule: this weekend is PAYBACK, followed two weeks later by ELIMINATION CHAMBER, and MONEY IN THE BANK exactly two […]

It feels as though I was just writing a predication piece for "Extreme Rules," and yet here we are again for another WWE Network Special . And if that's not crazy enough, take a look at this schedule: this weekend is PAYBACK , followed two weeks later by ELIMINATION CHAMBER , and MONEY IN THE BANK exactly two weeks after that! We've got THREE pay-per-views set within six weeks of one another, and unfortunately, Payback is the least intriguing of the lot. The �Chamber will feature the first-ever tag team elimination match inside the "Devil's Playground," while MITB will crown the next heir apparent to the WWE title. But Payback?

I like to write my predictions by mid-week and the WWE is still adding to the event as of this posting. Just now I got word that Bray Wyatt will be taking on Ryback, bringing the total number of matches on the card to SEVEN. There's certainly the chance that we might see a Diva's match of some kind, perhaps a tag team bout between the Bella's and Naomi and Tamina. As for the matches that have officially been announced…

The Payback Kick-Off
Macho Mandow & Axelmania vs. The Ascension
The Kick-Off matches have been particularly exciting in recent months; the tag team title match and battle royal at Wrestlemania, King Barrett versus Neville at Extreme Rules—this tag team contest will open the show and will set the precedent for what's to come. I don't know what to make of the "Macho Mandow and Axelmania" shtick. I really enjoyed Curtis Axel's delusional tirades about "never being eliminated from the Royal Rumble," and I've at least chuckled at his subsequent attempts at making "Axelmania Run Wild." I think Curtis Axel is doing a fine job, and I hope that when this program has run its course, he's able to rebound to a more reasonable place on the roster. When Damian Sandow ceased to be the Miz's stunt-double, I think we all hoped to see a more serious side of the former "Savior of the Masses." But instead we're getting the same masquerading hijinks that Sandow APOLOGIZED FOR just two weeks ago on Raw. So my initial qualm with Sandow is what an absolute joke he is becoming, and I can only hope that Curtis Axel isn't affected in the long term. My second nagging gripe with this gimmick is the Macho Man impression in general. Look—Jay Lethal already did this shit. And he did it while the dude was still alive. And he did a far better job than Damian Sandow. Everyone can do a Macho Man impression, why not pick one of Hogan's other partners? I would have much preferred to see Damian the Barber Beefcake. I pray to the wrestling gods—Vince McMahon Sr., Jim Barnett, Jim Crockett, etc—that this is a one-time deal, and that the "Minor Powers," as David Otunga named them, never "explode." I think the ship has absolutely set sail for Konnor and Viktor, and given my hopeless optimism for the future of the WWE, I'm inclined to give my prediction to Macho Mandow and Axelmania. I hope they beat the Ascension, they "Hulk Up" and pose down for a few minutes, and then go their separate ways forever. Is that what's going to happen? Of course not. These guys will be together until Wrestlemania 35.
Educated Guess: Macho Mandow & Axel Mania

King Barrett vs. Adrian Neville
This Sunday we'll be doing our monthly pay-per-view recap show at the "B+ Players Podcast." Last month I gave Barrett and Neville's Kick Off show performance a star rating of three and three quarters. Their match two nights later at the King of the Ring earned a solid four. These two Englishmen are in no way strangers to one another, after mixing it up for the better part of the last month. I'm interested to see what they can accomplish now that their feud has legs to stand on, and is being promoted to the main card of a pay-per-view. I've got to stop calling them that. It's a "WWE Network Special," and not only that—it's FREE again this month! What the fuck man? I've been paying ten bucks a month for 15 months—that's $150 invested in a product that you continue to give away to CASUAL FANS for free on a monthly mother fucking basis. Back to the match. Adrian Neville—because I refuse to call him "Neville"—has been gifted two nicknames since debuting with the WWE. Not only is he being billed as "The Man that Gravity Forgot," but he's also being called "The New Sensation." I can't remember this much hype going into an individual debut since we found out that his name is Finlay—"AND HE LOVES TO FIGHT!" Neville has had some awesome matches in recent weeks with former WWE world champions such as Sheamus and even John Cena. I don't think there's any ceiling set for how successful this guy could potentially be, but I think it's safe to assume defeat is on the agenda for young Adrian Neville this Sunday. Wade Barrett has made the transition from "Bad News" to "King" almost seamlessly, and it's hard to predict a loss for someone just over two weeks removed from winning the King of the Ring.
Educated Guess: King Barrett

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
It's a pretty good sign that the show will be good when the match I'm least looking forward to is a one-on-one bout between Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus. I've really been loving the new "Celtic Warrior" dynamic since Sheamus returned to the WWE. He shocked the world when he manhandled Daniel Bryan just days after his intercontinental title win at Wrestlemania, and went on to make life for Dolph Ziggler a living nightmare. Last month was the infamous "Kiss Me Arse" match, where Sheamus refused to live up to his own stipulation, instead forcing Dolph to kiss HIS arse. Two nights later, live on the WWE Network, Dolph Ziggler delivered a receipt in the form of a punishing assault that left the 2-time WWE Champion spewing DNA from his forehead. Their feud hasn't quieted down in any way, and has only served to elevate Dolph Ziggler and further intensify Sheamus. I'm quick to pick Sheamus as the victor in this unpredictable contest, but start to slow my roll after running down the rest of the card. This would appear to be a "Heel-Heavy" night, wherein most matches will end with "Bad Guys" reigning supreme. If there's to be any babyface victory during the event, I would probably have to pick Dolph Ziggler. That being said, we DO have another "WWE Network Special" in two weeks—and another in one month. Maybe we WILL see a night where only evil can prevail?
Educated Guess: Sheamus

WWE Tag Team Championship – 2/3 Falls Match
Kidd & Cesaro vs. The New Day (c)
Is there any doubt in anyone's mind that this will be the match of the night? These teams have produced some of the absolute best matches the WWE has seen—IN YEARS! That's not hyperbole, that's reality. I have trouble investing myself in WWE Superstars because their in-ring ability is oftentimes inhibited by the parameters placed on them by producers. You might see a stellar performance on Raw, and then an embarrassing display on Smackdown, simply because individuals weren't allotted the same time, or "freedom," that they were on the previous show. My point is that these five men could be the exception to the rule, having faced each other in any number of combinations during an assortment of various matches. They appeared during the Kick Off for the Royal Rumble and blew the tag team title match later in the show out of the water; they opened Wrestlemania 31 during another Kick Off appearance as two-fourths of a multi-team championship match; and last month they stole the show in a bona fied 4-Star Match. They've been a consummate part of Raw and Smackdown, and continue to put on "Match of the Night" performances, despite however long or short the encounter might be. I'm completely confident that they'll deliver, especially in this 2-out-of-3 falls match, and will be incredibly surprised if the action falls short. Tune in to our special Payback Reaction Show exclusively at Cheap-Heat where podcaster and sports analyst Dario Rivera has requested to review this particular match.
Educated Guess: The New Day

Ryback vs. Bray Wyatt
The most recent match added to the card is the bizarre brawl bound to take place when Bray Wyatt comes face-to-face with Ryback. Wyatt has been issuing an ominous challenge since losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, but nobody seemed to know to whom he was speaking. I suggested that it could be Roman Reigns, given the clues in Bray's weekly monologue, and was slightly disappointed to discover instead—that it was Ryback. Nothing against the talent and charisma of Ryan Reeves, I just don't see him as a player on the same level as Bray Wyatt. Ryback challenged for the WWE title back when CM PUNK was the champion, and has since played more of an enforcer role in the upper-mid card. Bray Wyatt however, has squared off with both the Undertaker and John Cena at Wrestlemania, and appears to be a far more visible face across the entirety of WWE programming. I also think Bray Wyatt desperately needs a win, and I don't believe it should be at the detriment of ANOTHER WWE Superstar, who ALSO can't afford to keep losing. I think it's a foregone conclusion that Bray Wyatt will walk out with his hand held high, and I'll take it a step further: Rowan and Harper will appear to help the "Eater of Worlds" defeat the "Big Guy." The Wyatt Family will return.
Educated Guess: Bray Wyatt

WWE United States Championship – "I Quit" Mach
John Cena (c) vs. Rusev
This will be the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW that John Cena has gone to war with Rusev, which could quite possibly be a record for WWE in terms of booking. John Cena is currently 2-1 over the "Bulgarian Brute" and "Pride of the Russian Federation." The big story going into this match is Lana; "WHOSE SIDE IS (S)HE ON?!" Remember that? ANOTHER Bobby Heenan reference. Word going around the internet is that Lana will soon lose her Russian accent, and become the "Female Face" of the WWE. While that's certainly possible, I don't think it's time—and I don't think the WWE thinks it's time either. My Educated Guess for this match is a bit more detailed, so please indulge me for a moment: Lana will slip with the American accent during the Kick Off, making us all wonder what's going to happen. She'll continue to smile John Cena's way, and he'll keep making comments to Rusev and the audience about how popular she is. This is all—wait for it—A SWERVE! John Cena won't quit, not because he's in pain and can't continue! Rusev will be out of options, and will grab Lana as though she is his hostage. He'll trap her in the Accolade, while Cena is—for some reason, handcuffs maybe—unable to stop him. Cena will have no choice but to say "I Quit" to save the woman he thinks is starting to see the light of day. Unfortunately, as Admiral Ackbar would say: "IT'S A TRAP!" Do you think Admiral Ackbar will be in Star Wars Episode 7? How long do Mon Calamari live? I think John Cena is dropping his United States strap to the former champion, and I think Lana will reveal herself to be a "Double Agent." That will give her a reason to drop the Russian accent on Raw, while maintaining her evil character for the time being. In fact, it could generate even more heat; a blonde haired, blue eyed American supermodel siding with the SOVIET UNION? I know that's not what they're called anymore. It's all about alliteration with me. That will also put their series at 2 wins a piece, creating all the more reason for a fifth and final battle at either Elimination Chamber or Money in the Bank.
Educated Guess: Rusev

WWE World Heavyweight Championship – Fatal Four-way
Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins (c) vs. Roman Reigns
Who cares? With so much going on in the undercard, I couldn't care less about how Seth Rollins retains his title. There's no question as to who is walking away the winner, but how is it going to go down? Actually, that's just as predictable. Let's see what we're working with here: Seth Rollins is definitely winning, right? Okay, that's settled. And Dean Ambrose is only in this match to catch the pinfall, right? Nice, now we're cooking with gas! So the question now pertains to how Randy Orton and Roman Reigns will make their presence felt. I GOT IT! Dean and Randy are wrestling in the ring while everyone else is off somewhere waiting for their cue. Roman appears and attempts to Spear Randy Orton, but hits his former Shield brother instead. After Roman pops up from the impact, he's met with an RKO—OUT OF NOWHERE—from Randy Orton, who immediately goes for the pin, but is robbed by Seth Rollins, who only wins matches when he steals the victory. Which is totally okay with me, it's just mildly predictable at this point. It wasn't right to say who cares, because I do care about this match. But given the fact that Seth Rollins has been given the ball for the foreseeable future, and Dean Ambrose has never been in such a high profile position, it's easy to narrow the field down to declare a winner. Seth Rollins is winning, which means Kane is FIRED!
Educated Guess: Seth Rollins

I said earlier that this show is the least intriguing event of the three we'll be getting in the next six weeks. While that's true, it certainly seems as though this card has what it takes to deliver. I still expect a Diva's match of some kind to be announced, in which case I'll edit this entry. Maybe. Probably not. Remember to check out the "B+ Players Podcast: Payback Reactions" featuring our musical guests Milan Martin and Dave Sloyan, as well as "The Wrestling Broad" Brianne Marie. We're hitting the air immediately after the show ends, and will be featured exclusively at Cheap-Heat.com. Until next time my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, you can follow me in social media on Twitter @TapeTraderz and on Facebook at "The B+ Players."