http://www.cheap-heat.com/six-seasonal-superstars-holiday-themed-wrestlers/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/six-seasonal-superstars-holiday-themed-wrestlers/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:09:59 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Blogs
Top Lists
Balls Mahoney
Chris Jericho
Christmas Creature
Ciclope
Dean Malenko
Dustin Runnels
Fake Diesel
Finlay
Glen Jacobs
Gobbledy Gooker
Goldust
Halloween
Hector Guerrero
Hornswoggle
Kane
Vince McMahon
Xanta Claus
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13094
July is the season of American Independence, so in honor of the USA, I wrote "Superstars and Stripes Forever: Top 13 Most Patriotic Performers." This got me thinking about other holidays, and pro wrestlers commonly associated with them. I originally planned to do another Top Thirteen Countdown, but came up very short on names—I guess […]
July is the season of American Independence, so in honor of the USA, I wrote "Superstars and Stripes Forever: Top 13 Most Patriotic Performers."
This got me thinking about
other
holidays, and pro wrestlers commonly associated with them. I originally planned to do another
Top Thirteen Countdown,
but came up very short on names—I guess there's no real market for a Columbus Day or
EASTER
gimmick. And before you say anything, no, I did not include Adam Rose's bunny. So sit back and enjoy "Six Seasonal Superstars: Holiday-Themed Wrestlers."
The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust – New Years 1998
Number six was a one-off by the incomparable Dustin Runnels, and while some might say that's a cop-out, I'll argue it's just as valid as se of the
other
names on this list. Goldust was going through some emotional problems toward the tail-end of 1997, and by 1998 had completely gone off the deep-end. This was one of his more modest moments, when compared to the time he dressed up as Sable. Goldust decided to celebrate 1998 on Monday Night Raw dressed as the iconic "Baby New Year." He was scantily-clad, as was the norm for "The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust," and danced around the ring until a certain "Rattlesnake" crashed the party. Goldust ended up ringing in the New Year inside a port-a-potty dubbed "Crapper 3:16.
Hornswoggle – St. Patrick's Day
He arrived in the WWE under seemingly mythological circumstances, and lived underneath the ring where he took part in "Little People's Court." Hornswoggle is the WWE's resident Leprechaun, who captured his own
"pot of gold"
in the form of the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. Hornswoggle has transitioned away from the soot-faced caricature he used to play, but still enters the arena to a lively Irish jig. Not only has Hornswoggle made a name for himself in the WWE, but on the silver screen in the recent reboot of the "Leprechaun" film franchise.
Christmas Creature – Christmas
Before he was the "Devil's Favorite Demon," Kane went by several other names. Without getting into the history of insane gimmicks Glen Jacobs has been given, let's instead focus on the most bizarre of them all. After making a name for himself in USWA, Jacobs arrived in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, where Jim Cornette christened him "The Christmas Creature." His sleeves were made to look like candy canes, whereas the rest of his body—including his head—was covered in green fabric. In addition, he was liberally adorned with strands of tinsel—both across his chest and around his waist, as well as suggestively strung between his legs. The Christmas Creature might have been a bit flawed in terms of execution, but you cannot fault anyone for the sheer creativity of the character.
Gobbledy Gooker – Thanksgiving
The holiday season was just starting in 1990, and the entire WWE Universe was wondering—"What's in the Egg?" The Egg, of course, was a giant anomaly placed near the entrance way at WWE television tapings and live events. Speculation would proceed to run rampant, until everyone's questions were answered at the Survivor Series on Thanksgiving Night. It was the Gobbledy Gooker! An anthropomorphic Turkey, who ran to the ring and
danced
with Mean Gene Okerlund. The �Gooker went on to appear a handful of times in prerecorded promos, but disappeared from television before Christmas. It was later revealed that Hector Guerrero—Eddie's older brother—was the wrestler inside the Turkey suit. Hector reprised his role as the Gobbledy Gooker in 2001 as part of the "Gimmick Battle Royal" at Wrestlemania X7, when he was the
second
Superstar eliminated.
Halloween – Halloween
Halloween is number two for a variety of reasons, but first and foremost—his name is Halloween! Audiences in America might best remember this famed performer as "Ciclope," a Cruiserweight competitor in WCW. Halloween's longevity sets him apart from everyone else on the list. Like Hornswoggle, his persona is more than just a short-lived publicity stunt—Halloween has been performing under the black and orange since 1990. While his resilience and ability to withstand the test of time earns him a top spot on my list, I couldn't place him at number one because his character doesn't exactly
embody
the "Halloween Spirit."
Xanta Claus – Christmas
Like many other names listed, our number one
Seasonal Superstar
went on to achieve greater success once his holiday-themed gimmick expired. Fans around the world know him as Balls Mahoney, the former amateur wrestler-turned-hardcore legend, but for a short period in the mid=90s, Balls was known as Xanta Claus. Xanta Claus was brought to the World Wrestling Federation by the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, to act as an antithesis to—you guessed it—
SANTA CLAUS
. He wore black and red, and sported a closely-groomed dark brown beard. He wouldn't last very long because, as James Bond will tell you: "Christmas only comes once a year." Despite the unusually short-shelf life of the character, Xanta Claus remains among the most talked about WWE Superstars of all time.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/experiencing-the-american-dream/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/experiencing-the-american-dream/#comments Fri, 12 Jun 2015 00:16:12 +0000
Gregory Iron
Blogs
Wrestler Blogs
Cody Rhodes
Dustin Rhodes
Dusty Rhodes
Goldust
Stardust
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12317
“…when you walk behind and you’re not a leader, then the view never changes, baby! The view never changes, baby! The view never changes!” -Dusty Rhodes World Championship Wrestling, 1994 Many people wrote on Twitter that 140 characters just wasn’t enough to write about him. Jake “The Snake” Roberts stated on Twitter that there was […]
“…when you walk behind and you’re not a leader, then the view never changes, baby! The view never changes, baby! The view never changes!”
-Dusty Rhodes
World Championship Wrestling, 1994
Many people wrote on Twitter that 140 characters just wasn’t enough to write about him. Jake “The Snake” Roberts stated on Twitter that there was nothing anyone could write about him to do the man justice, so nobody should even try.
I appreciate that, Jake, but dammit– I have to try.
I never had the pleasure to speak to him. I didn’t get the honor to learn about the wrestling industry under his teaching. I never even met him. Yet, for the vast majority of my life, he spoke to me. He taught me so much about wrestling without ever realizing it. I feel like I’ve known Dusty Rhodes my entire life.
Perhaps it was because Dusty was just “a common man.” Born the son of a plumber, the man who would gain worldwide recognition as “The American Dream” never seemed that much different than you or I when you saw him in arenas or on television. He was the neighbor you grew up living next door to your entire life. As you rushed out your front door in the early morning to hurry off to work or to school, you’d look over and see him sitting on his porch, sipping on a cup of coffee. He’d smile and nod, giving you that silent reassurance that it’s okay to slow down and enjoy the day, because everything would be just fine.
He was the guy stocking the shelves at the local grocery store. No matter the day or time you managed to stop in, you’d see him. He’d be in his own little world, ripping open a pallet full of boxes, unloading it’s contents onto the shelves. Beads of sweat would dribble down from his forehead, giving you the indication that he was the hardest working man in the building. As he’d wipe his brow, he’d look in your direction, making eye contact with you. That connection with your pupils lit up his very own, forcing him to flash a smile, bust out a joke, and offer you his assistance if you needed it. You couldn’t help but smile back.
Whether it was through the poetic words that exited his mouth, or the poetry in motion that he created in the ring, Dusty captivated everyone that saw him. He talked like a black southern preacher, looked like tubby factory worker, and moved with all the grace of Muhammad Ali. It was a combination that on paper, just defied all logic. It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.
The beautiful thing about the human spirit is that it has the ability to recognize when something is real. You can make a mold for anything and tell people that
this
В is what sells. Eventually, though, someone comes along, breaks the mold, and shows the world that it’s okay to invest in something different, even if it’s not the typical size, shape, or color. Dusty broke that mold, and became a once in a lifetime performer that inspired generations of performers.
From Ric Flair in the 1970’s, all the way to Kevin Owens in 2015, hundreds and hundreds of wrestlers, announcers, promoters, writers, and producers became good or better at the business of wrestling by learning directly from the incredible mind of Dusty Rhodes– not to mention the millions like myself that learned from him without ever meeting him face to face. Whether it was coming up with wrestlings first big super card, Starrcade, reinventing the cage match by creating “War Games”, or unintentionally coining the phrase “The Dusty Finish,” Rhodes was a true visionary in the industry, ranking right up there with Vince McMahon himself.
His feuds with Billy Graham, Ric Flair and The Four Horsemen, Macho Man Randy Savage, and in later years with Steve Corino, were legendary, and will forever stand the test of time. His “Hard Times Blues” interview on Flair is arguably one of the best promos in wrestling history, and nobody ever screamed, “HE GOTTA BICYCLE” quite like “The Dream.”
On this day, it’s sad to think that “The American Dream” has come to an end. But when I think of Dusty Rhodes, I smile knowing that he was gracious and unselfish enough to share his “Dream” with each and every one of us. My heart and my thoughts go out to Dustin, Cody, and the rest of the Runnels’ family.
I hope this did you justice, Dusty. Thanks for everything.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/hunchamania-wwe-fastlane-2015-predictions/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/hunchamania-wwe-fastlane-2015-predictions/#comments Sun, 22 Feb 2015 04:04:31 +0000
Gary Mastriano
Blogs
Other Blogs
AJ Lee
Bad News Barrett
Big Show
Brock Lesnar
Cesaro
CM Punk
Cody Rhodes
Daniel Bryan
Dean Ambrose
Dolph Ziggler
Dust Brothers
Elimination Chamber
Erick Rowan
Fastlane
Goldust
HHH
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
John Cena
John Morrison
Kane
Kidd
Kofi Kingston
Natalya
Nikki Bella
NXT
Paige
Rey Mysterio
Rey Mysterio Jr.
Roman Reigns
Royal Rumble
Rusev
Ryback
Santino
Santino Marella
Seth Rollins
Stardust
Steve Austin
Sting
Survivor Series
The Brass Ring Club
The Usos
Triple H
Tyson Kidd
Wade Barrett
Wrestlemania
WWE
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9903
Hunchamania: Fastlane 2015 Folks, we are on the road to WrestleMania 31, and we are driving in the fast lane (see what I did there? I'm so clever). WWE brings us this new "special event" this Sunday, and I must say- there is a lot to look forward to. The February slot in the PPV […]
Hunchamania: Fastlane 2015
Folks, we are on the road to WrestleMania 31, and we are driving in the fast lane (see what I did there? I'm so clever). WWE brings us this new "special event" this Sunday, and I must say- there is a lot to look forward to.
The February slot in the PPV cycle has always been a mixed bag. Feuds were either resolved so top stars could move on to different challengers at the Grandaddy the following month (Austin-HHH 2001), new feuds are set up to take us into Mania (Orton-Rey), or big matches occur that may even be better suited for the big event the next month (the criminally underrated and overall excellent Angle-Taker SHOULD have taken place at Mania 22….thanks a lot Batista).
In recent years we have been subject to the Elimination Chamber PPV. A great gimmick match that felt completely out of place in the pre Mania slot. Not only was the risk of injury to a top star higher in the dangerous match, but it was also a huge gimmick that often felt forced. Challengers like Santino, John Morrison, and Kofi Kingston were always given spots in the match, when we all knew they would barely even make the Mania card the next month. The first few installments of the Chamber match worked so well because there were legit contenders in every pod gunning for the world title. When the match was supplanted to the February slot it lost almost all of its luster. Sure we have seen some fun spots and pairings (the HHH-Taker final 2 comes to mind) overall I am happy to see the chamber go. Hopefully it will return to a PPV that could benefit from it where there are 6 legit contenders who have a claim to the title.
I also thought it was weird to place the chamber at the February PPV because it honestly wasn't needed. It worked well when there was 2 world titles, but the PPV never needed the rub of the gimmick match. The allure of the road to Wrestlemania is enough to sell me on the February PPV. Just use it to end some feuds and start some new angles for the next month and I am sold. That being said, this year's FastLane was looking like a legit throw away PPV at first. We knew Brock wasn't going to be wrestling, and after Royal Rumble it seemed most the top 3-4 matches were already in stone: Sting-HHH, Rusev-Cena, Brock-Reigns all looked like locks for San Francisco.
However, WWE has done a pretty great job of making us question the seemingly predictable card. Now I fully believe we will get all 3 of those matches, plus most of the other rumored matches on the card, but FastLane will at least be an intriguing stop along the way, with some fascinating booking decisions I did not expect.
Intercontinental Championship Match- Bad News Barrett vs Dean Ambrose
The theme up and down this card is unpredictability. I think the IC title match, which I suspect with be the hot opener, could really go either way. Barrett has only been back from injury a month and was handed the IC title his first night back. WWE is clearly behind Barrett. The man has been IC pretty much any time he hasn't been injured in the past 2 years. It seems that they really want him to succeed, but injuries and bad luck keep getting in his way. While I am not a fan of his bad news gimmick (just seems more face leaning than heel), I cannot deny that it is over. Also over- Dean Ambrose. The man turns every goofy situation written for him into gold. I've seen people complain that Dean is getting "buried" or tossed aside. This is simply laughable. He has main evented more PPVs than Roman Reigns, and has been a focal point of WWE programming since the Shield split. Ambrose is a great talent, and loses don't really affect him or his character. Ambrose is simply about anarchy. WWE is taking the more classic approach with Ambrose and letting him get white hot in the mid to top of the card. He will be IC champ this calendar year, and possibly challenge for the world title by year's end (although I don't think he even needs to be in that spot to be effective). If the Andre battle royal takes place this year, Dean will win it. But he won't win the IC title, at least not on this night.
Bad News Wade retains.
Cody �Stardust' Rhodes vs Goldust
Cheap Heat grandmaster of productivity- Mark Haggerty- and I recently did a mock draft to choose our top 10 wrestlers we want to start a company with. You'll see more on that soon, but I am going to spoil one of my draft choices here- Cody Rhodes. I have been a Cody fan dating back to the Legacy days. I knew he was the break out star of the two young guns, and he has quietly had a great mid card run. Cody has shown how incredibly versatile he can be. He can play the face, the heel, the comedy act, or the bat shit crazy Stardust character. His Dr. Doom character was my personal favorite, the one that led to his all-time best and most underrated match against Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania 27. Rhodes can do it all. I have loved the Dust Brothers team, but feel that it has run its course. Every part of me hopes their blow off, and long rumored Goldust retirement match, takes place at WrestleMania. And I hope that match is Cody, not Stardust, taking on Goldust. As far as I can tell the match this Sunday will be Stardust wrestling Sunday, not Cody. Hopefully this leads to the return of Cody for Mania, and finally a major heel push after. One can dream right? Stardust has been a great fun character, and I hope he gets brought back down the line, even in a multiple personality story line at some point. But I think it's time for Cody to return. I see this match ending in
NO CONTEST
of some sorts, leading to Cody finally dropping the Stardust character for the blow off match next month.
Tag Team Championship- The Usos vs Tyson Kidd and Cesaro
I legit marked out last month when Kidd and Cesaro wore Brass Ring Club shirts to the ring. I am still seriously contemplating purchasing one because… c'mon… that's just cool.
Kidd and Cesaro are my favorite team in a long time. Both guys seem to want to prove themselves week after week and they have really lit a fire into the tag team division. What a great booking decision pairing them together. The Usos have been tag champs for … 4 years now? Not sure, but it seems like they will always hold the belts. I don't see a future past a tag team for Jimmy and Jey, and they are way over, so I know they will stick together for a while. However, I think the time is now to reward Cesaro and Kidd with a title win, even if it's just a month long reign- BOLD PREDICTION but
Kidd and Cesaro
take home the gold Sunday night.
Diva's Championship- Niki Bella vs Paige
When all the controversy came out last year with CM Punk, everyone on the internet seemed to assume days were numbered for AJ Lee. Well, to their credit, WWE has treated AJ with nothing but respect. She was the top Diva last year, holding the belt on 2 different occasions, and winning Diva of the year (do you really think AJ would have won if they weren't behind her?). There seemed to be no retaliation against AJ for the actions of her husband. Anytime AJ has missed seems to be by her own accord, and any time off seems to have been granted. And I am happy WWE were the bigger man here and treated her like the star she was, as opposed to the star she's married to.
With that being said, and with the breaking news of the potentially massive lawsuit between CM Punk and Doc Amman, one has to question- when is it the right time for WWE and AJ Lee to cut ties. I think the time is now. I am a big AJ supporter, but I can only imagine it may be a hostile work environment for her no matter what the outcome of the lawsuit is. Can you imagine if AJ gets inured and Doc Amman has to work on her? I cannot see that being fun. AJ has had a great run, and is easily the top Diva since the Trish/Lita days, but her associations may lead to some uncomfortable and awkward situations. WWE has some of the best female wrestlers in the world down in NXT. Once talents like Charlotte and Bayley, and later on Sasha Banks, are brought up the main roster, we can hopefully expect the Diva's boom we have all wanted for a while. And while I would love AJ Lee to be a part of that…it seems like time has past her by.
As for the current state of active Diva's, it's not actually as bad as you think. Niki Bella has been a surprisingly impressive champion. Her in ring work has been better than it has any right to be. She described herself as the "powerhouse" of the division, and I have to agree. As for her opponent this Sunday- Paige- what can be said? I am happy to see her back at the top of the division where she belongs. Paige is a GREAT in ring talent, and I think this match could go far to elevate the division. It all comes down to time, as with most Diva's matches in this era. NXT has proven that women's wrestling is worth investing in, so why not give your main roster girls a showcase? Alas, I don't think Fastlane will be the night to do so.
Niki wins
with shenanigans setting up a Mania mutli-lady rematch.
Seth Rollins, Kane, and Big Show vs Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryback
Is this match announced? Trusty old Wikipedia says it is, so let's say it is. This feud has been going on since before Survivor Series, with no end in sight. I really think we will see some sort of variation on this match at WrestleMania this year, probably without Rollins. Ziggler deserves his time to shine at the big event this year, but short of the rumored Daniel Bryan match, I just don't see any singles match happening for the Showoff. If you haven't seen the Ziggler-Rollins match from this past Monday's Raw I highly recommend it. An awesome match, and the main roster's response to the great matches happening down in NXT. Check it out.
Rollins, Kane, and Big Show
win here, setting up a quasi-rematch at Mania.
US Title Match- Rusev vs John Cena
How awesome would it be to have John Cena as the US Champ again? Talk about putting that title back on the map. Despite whatever the "smart" wrestling fan you are friends with is telling, John Cena has actually had a slight character change in the past few weeks. And I don't think many people are seeing the potential storylines that will come out of it. In case you missed it, Cena has slowly been turning into the grizzled veteran who will do anything to protect his spot. His promo work has been great and this feud with Rusev isn't your normal Cena feud- meaning Rusev actually has a chance to win. Even us Cena lovers can agree that John doesn't need/shouldn't get the first victory over Rusev. That seems too predictable. Even if he gets it eventually, it won't be Sunday night. Cena won't tap but I see
Rusev winning via more shenanigans or a DQ finish
to continue this feud. I stand by my claim from last August that we will see Cena vs Rusev at Mania, with Hogan in Cena's corner.
Sting will respond to HHH's challenge, but HHH will get the upper hand via some sort of beat down on Sting. This will set up Sting' first ever WWE match at WrestleMania 31. This is the match Sting needs and deserves. No other opponent is worthy of Sting's first match but Hunter and I expect this to be a really fun ride.
Number 1 Contender's Match- Roman Reigns vs Daniel Bryan
I have to give credit where credit is due- I did NOT expect that we would see Reigns vs Bryan, especially now. WWE has done a masterful job of baiting us all into this storyline. A lot has been made of Reigns not getting the response WWE wanted. But in all honestly- he has been getting solid responses from non smark crowds. The casual fan is into and behind Roman Reigns. The problem is that EVERY fan is into and behind Daniel Bryan. I cannot recall a wrestler as over as Bryan in a long long long time. And WWE is using him very wisely. Folks- Daniel Bryan will NEVER be the number one face on the roster. Yes, I want him in that role, you want him in that role, the WWE Universe wants him that role. But once you come to accept that he will never be top guy, you can enjoy Bryan even more. Bryan will fill that HBK role of top guy who will always be close to the main event, putting on clinics with just about everyone on the roster. And that IS something to be excited about.
I admit I am not the biggest Reigns fan. But he's the guy that won the Royal Rumble. I DO NOT want another tainted Royal Rumble winner. So for as much as I love Bryan, I want Reigns to win here. Let's give him a shot guys, what's the worst that can happen? Reigns has actually been getting more over working with Bryan.
As for the match itself, I expect an incredibly hot crowd. They will split 70/30 in Bryan's favor, but Bryan will work hard to make Reigns look as good as possible. This is a match designed to make Reigns look good. I expect it to be hard hitting, fast paced, and tons of fun. As for the ending I see it going one of two ways. Either Reigns gets the singles clean victory he desperately needs, or someone interferes and costs Bryan the match (Rollins?) setting up whatever Bryan does at Mania. Either way
Reigns wins.
No triple threat this year.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/the-highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-4/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/the-highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-4/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2015 04:08:41 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Blogs
Other Blogs
Other Reviews
Bray Wyatt
Brock Lesnar
Cody Rhodes
Damien Sandow
Daniel Bryan
Darren Young
Goldust
HHH
MizDow
Monday Night RAW
NWA
Prime Time Players
RAW
Ric Flair
Stardust
Sting
The Ascension
The Miz
Titus O'Neil
TNA
Triple H
Undertaker
WCW
Wrestlemania
WWE
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9794
The Highlight of the Night The Top Moments from Raw Written by Mark Adam Haggerty "In 80 countries, in seven languages, to over a half-billion viewers each week—the World Wrestling Federation, the world-wide leader in Sports Entertainment." If you were a fan of the WWE during the "New Generation," odds are you remember hearing those […]
The Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
"In 80 countries, in seven languages, to over a half-billion viewers each week—the
World Wrestling Federation
, the world-wide leader in Sports Entertainment." If you were a fan of the WWE during the "New Generation," odds are you remember hearing those words spoken at the beginning of each and every broadcast. Twenty years later and things are a bit different—instead of boasting with company pride, the slogan "Then, Now, and Forever" implies a casual approach to business and no real desire to evolve. This evening's installment of Monday Night Raw was not without its enjoyable moments, but offered little in the way of provocative in-ring storytelling. The show moved at a slower pace than usual, and seemed to focus on mid-level feuds instead of main event rivalries—strange for the "go-home" show a mere six days away from "Fastlane." Oftentimes the hardest part of writing these reviews is seguing away from my introduction, so for lack of a smoother transition, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is "Highlight of the Night."
5. "Limbo is No Place for a Soul Like Yours"
About three weeks ago, we began seeing backstage promos from the "Eater of Worlds" Bray Wyatt. Bray has been spouting rhetoric riddled with hidden messages since his debut, but it appears as though he finally has something worth talking about. Over the course of three separate videos, Wyatt fiddled with tools—a hammer and nails, challenging some unnamed entity to find him, before he finds them. Of course Bray Wyatt is looking for a fight with the Undertaker, and while generally shrouded beneath a veil of mystery, there was no use in mincing words tonight. Bray warned, "Limbo is no place for a soul like yours," as he continually prodded the "Dead Man," begging him to return. I've said before that I was never really interested in seeing Bray Wyatt versus the Undertaker at Wrestlemania 31, particularly after the Undertaker's streak ended last year in New Orleans. While I wasn't feeling the Sting scenario either, the idea of �Taker wrestling anyone on the current roster seems to pale in comparison to his last several years battling the best in the business. How does "Husky Harris" follow Brock Lesnar, and every other Superstar who's come before? The theatrics beyond what Bray is saying make me think that this could
actually
be the Undertaker's last battle at Wrestlemania. Although clearly backstage, standing on top of a fog machine, the imagery harkens back to the Undertaker's initial babyface run, so I choose to believe Bray is in his own "wood shed." At first he was just holding a nail, making me think of the obvious phrase, "final nail in the coffin." But later in the show, Bray was actually building something. Is he constructing a
COFFIN
for the Undertaker? Will this be the symbolic passing of the torch in terms of supernatural Superstars in the WWE, or will Bray Wyatt be the Undertaker's redemption after failing to defeat Brock Lesnar last year? If Bray Wyatt truly has the
WORLD
in his hands, he still must contend with the hellfire and brimstone possessed by the Undertaker.
4. "Millions of Dollars! Millions of Dollars!"
When I was a young irresponsible 20-something, I had a friend who happened to be dating a professional wrestler. His name is Chris Steeler, and he is
still
a very active athlete on the East Coast Indie circuit. Through Chris I was able to meet a lot of other young hopefuls, one of whom went under the name "Bone Crusher" Fred Sampson. Sampson was a big, bald, black guy who wore a chain around his neck. Entering each contest at over six feet tall and nearly 230 pounds, he dwarfed the majority of his smaller-sized opponents and earned the IWF heavyweight champion. I was lucky enough to meet and get to know Fred—fast forward six years later and "Bone Crusher" is standing alongside the rest of the Nexus running rough-shod on Raw. That's right, I have a bit of a sentimental-spot when it comes to Darren "Millions of Dollars" Young. I'm incredibly proud of him for overcoming such adversity and becoming the world-class star that he is today. Last week Darren posted a Tweet, expressing his feelings about the WWE's tour of Abu Dhabi, and the UAE's treatment of gays and women. So when Darren Young appeared on Raw to face the Ascension, partnered with an unnamed jobber, I expected the worst. But low-and-behold the WWE surprised a lot of people by salvaging an enormously popular tag team, and thus allowing two incredibly talented professional wrestlers the chance to work. Listen, my admiration for D-Young aside, Titus O'Neill is a really phenomenal athlete with a huge upside in terms of charism and overall potential. The roof is so high for both of these WWE Superstars and I'd venture a guess that their shelf-life might be extended through their partnership. Maybe the "Primetime Players" might even win
gold
to go with their MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!
3. "Bell Means Stop!"
As weeks progress it would see only fitting that Damian Sandow could be on the verge of breaking away from The Miz. Two weeks ago, the Miz demoted Sandow to "personal assistant," and has since proceeded to make his life miserable. Despite being fortunate enough to take on the intercontinental champion, Sandow must also contend with the Miz sitting at ringside. As opposed to this shtick as I've been in the past, I chuckled whole-heartedly every time the Miz shook his bell into the microphone. The verbiage and excuses employed by the Miz were priceless, rattling his bell so that Sandow might leave the match to polish the Miz's shoes. "I can't see myself in my shoes," the Miz yelled! "Bell means stop! BELL MEANS STOP!" By this point in the progression of their overall story, Damian doesn't appear to be anything more than just a prop designed to highlight the arrogance of the Miz. It's hard to tell who will come out of this program the better; Will the former "Mizdow" get his comeuppance on his tyrannical employer, or will the "Hollywood A-Lister" defy the odds per usual, and escape the situation unscathed? The "Intergalactic Goofballs" known as Gold and Stardust appeared to have come to a "Cross Roads" in their relationship—what could that mean for other tag teams on the brink of destruction? At the rate in which the program is building, we could see Sandow make the turn next Monday, or very well wait until after Wrestlemania. These two could steal the show in Santa Clara, however they could just as easily slow-burn until summer, allowing for "A-List" antics of the highest degree on the "Grandest Stage of Them All."
2. "Cody Rhodes is Dead."
Since 2011 the WWE Universe has been asking every question imaginable relating to the Rhodes Brothers: When will we get the inevitable split between Dustin and Cody; who will be the turncoat; where can we expect the subsequent blow-off? This evening's episode of Raw answered all but one of those questions, although the third is pretty clear considering we're just 40 days away from Wrestlemania. A few weeks back, Goldust made the mistake of calling his brother "Cody," rather than his stage-name "Stardust." Stardust snapped, which led to weeks of questionable conduct on behalf of the former intercontinental champion. Backstage the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes dances into frame to offer his boys some last minute advice before their contest with the New Day. Despite everything Cody's been going through, Dusty reminds him that without family, he's got nothing. The match was what it was with plenty of impressive work by both teams, before dysfunction would lead the Rhodes duo to defeat. Goldust was miserable after costing his team the victory, and refused to stand up and leave the ring. Stardust initially attempted to help, but soon gave in to frustration, blind-siding his brother with a wicked "Cross Rhodes." Backstage, the Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes was in shock in response to what just happened. He attempted to reason with his son, who responded by saying, "Cody Rhodes is dead. And so is his father." I think this could be a step in the right direction for Cody. I've
NEVER
been fond of the Stardust character. I thought it was kind of funny the first time out, but has morphed into something that could potentially taint Cody Rhodes' entire legacy. I think if he drops the dumb body suit in favor of something less ridiculous, he could keep the paint and do another "Dr. Doom-type" character. I was hoping that the finishing hold on Goldust, named for his famous family, could mean the end of the Stardust character for good—but I guess not. I'll be interested to see how Cody Rhodes might evolve from here, and I'm excited at the prospect of finally seeing Rhodes vs. Rhodes at Wrestlemania.
1. "Mark My Words: I Am the WWE."
For the second week in a row, the number one program on Monday Night Raw is that which is developing between the 13-time world heavyweight champion Triple H and the 12-time world heavyweight champion Sting. That's right folks—count up his WCW, NWA, and TNA title runs, and the "Vigilante" is just one belt shy of tying the "King of Kings." Last week's particular brand of mind games featured a Sting look-alike and a jarring video package that concluded with the words, "I accept." Sting would be in Memphis at "Fastlane." This week, the "Game" laughed about the way in which he fell to his feet. He assured the fans in Orlando that he was in no way afraid of Sting, but before he could continue, Triple H was joined by a man who knows Sting better than anyone—the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Flair entered the squared-circle and warned his friend that "a wrestler's worst enemy is time off," citing his skepticism as to how successful Hunter will be. Hunter laughed again, cutting Flair off at every turn, which made sense because Ric was doing a whole lot of rambling by this point. Triple H told the WWE Hall of Famer, "Sting is the WCW—but mark my words: I am the WWE." The "Nature Boy" seemed to get the hint, but stressed the importance of going into this confrontation as a wrestler and not a business man. Triple chuckle once more, and proceeded to shove the 65-year old Flair to the mat—Sting would be getting Triple H
the wrestler
all right. I said last week that this has the potential to be Sting's greatest match ever, and although I know that makes me sound like Tony Schiavone, I said it with absolutely no hyperbolic intentions. Everybody has something to say about Paul Levesque, but unless you're talking about the greatest wrestlers of the past fifteen years, there's not much more to talk about in terms of Triple H. Sting has had tremendous bouts over the past three decades, but never against someone as motivated, as conditioned, and as intelligent as the COO of the WWE. Sting is going to go into Santa Clara a WCW Icon, and will emerge a WWE Legend.
For the first time since I started counting down the Top Five Moments of Raw, neither the opening segment nor the main event portion of the show were featured
anywhere
on my list. While some could argue the top five moments were just so exciting that I didn't
need
to fall back on the top-drawing stars of the company, the truth is that those first and final moments of Raw were nothing to be proud of. John Cena beat up Rusev and yelled, "Every man feels pain!" That sounds like a line from the 1987
G.I. Joe Movie
. "Be my eyes snake man!" As for the last match, I don't need to bore anyone with another rant about the Big Show. Instead I'll just say I'm glad the fans are getting behind Roman Reigns—I think he deserves it and although he's only been wrestling for five years, I'm confident he's got the growth potential to bring the WWE out of the "Dark Ages." Until next week, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, and this has been "Highlight of the Night."
http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-3/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-3/#comments Mon, 09 Feb 2015 00:33:33 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Blogs
Other Blogs
Other Reviews
Reviews
Adam Rose
Alicia Fox
Bad News Barrett
BNB
Cesaro
Curtis Axel
Daniel Bryan
Dean Ambrose
Dolph Ziggler
Fandango
Goldust
J&J Security
Miz
MizDow
Paige
RAW
Roman Reigns
Rosa Mendes
Royal Rumble
Ryback
Seth Rollins
Smackdown
Stardust
Survivor Series
Tyson Kidd
Wrestlemania
WWE
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9571
What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Two weeks removed from the Royal Rumble and gaining tread on the Road to Wrestlemania, the WWE is back with another 2-hour broadcast courtesy of the "Thursday Night Delight" known simply as Smackdown. "Blue Raw" is fast becoming the show […]
What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter
Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
Two weeks removed from the Royal Rumble and gaining tread on the Road to Wrestlemania, the WWE is back with another 2-hour broadcast courtesy of the "Thursday Night Delight" known simply as Smackdown. "Blue Raw" is fast becoming the show to satisfy wrestling fans as it is comprised almost completely of in-ring excitement as opposed to the scripted TV we're privy to each and every Monday. This week's show was another welcome change as it depicted professional wrestlers
wrestling
instead of working on their comedy act for Showtime at the Apollo. But with the good comes the bad and that's why I'm here each week to help steer you away from the unwatchable; my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter: Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown."
The show is off to a sizzling start when the Miz and his personal assistant Mizdow make their way to the ring for this week's installment of Miz TV. Tonight's edition will feature the two men who will head into Fastlane eager to be named number one contender to Brock Lesnar's WWE World Heavyweight title—Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Before his guests arrive, the Miz must first put his former stunt-double in his place, but it's not long before Roman Reigns enters and teaches the
Miz
a similar lesson by Superman Punching the A-lister off of his own show. Bryan stood-by smiling, however it wouldn't be long until the comradery turned to talk of the title. As the two babyfaces set to square off right then-and-there on Smackdown, Seth Rollins and the Authority emerged through the curtain to once again play the greater evil in the WWE. Seth acted on behalf of the Triple and Stephanie by making plans for later in the evening, including a three-on-one handicap match pitting Daniel Bryan against Rollins and J&J Security. While I still groan at the idea of opening each and every main roster show with drawn-out dialogue, I must marvel at how well-paced the opening segment of Smackdown is compared to Raw, allowing time for
SEVEN
matches. A COOKIN' segment especially the initial interplay involving the Miz.
The idea of pairing Dolph Ziggler with Ryback strikes me as a curious decision perhaps brought on by a lack of creative direction for either character. Both men are established as upper-mid card entities and after the Survivor Series and subsequent firings, it would behoove the WWE not to promote these Superstars. Although working as a part of a tag team leaves little room for creative expression, the recent alliance between Cesaro and Kidd could mean the WWE is attempting to resurrect a seemingly dead division. We could very well see Dolph Ziggler and Ryback battling Cesaro and Tyson Kidd at this year's Wrestlemania in Santa Clara—what a phenomenal tag team contest that would be! As for tonight's brawl with the Rhodes Brothers, the real story coming out of Smackdown is the continued crisis on �Team Dust.' Monday night Cody snapped at his brother for calling him by his name rather than "Stardust," and tonight Cody left Goldust to be slaughtered by the brute force of Ryback. Could this be another Wrestlemania match in the making; will we finally see Cody Rhodes and his big brother Dustin duke it out at the Granddaddy of Them All? Some might say that the potential rivalry has passed its prime, but I beg to differ and hope to see the combustion of the Rhodes boys at Wrestlemania 31. While this match was nothing to brag about, it did further the story between Cody and Goldust, and introduced fans to the combined forces of Dolph Ziggler and Ryback, so I'm inclined to say it was COOKIN!
Curtis Axel is back with the same �axe' to grind about the Royal Rumble and the way he was treated this past Monday night on Raw. He stormed the ring, demanding his title shot at Wrestlemania, pointing to the �Mania logo like an utter bafoon, until the chainsaw-like chord ripped through the arena and the music of the Lunatic Fringe began to play. Dean Ambrose entered a packed house looking to make a name for himself in terms of the intercontinental title picture. Dean made short work of Axel, and was ultimately met by Bad News Barrett transmitting live from the BNZ studios across the enormous Titantron. Their feud, although mere days old by this point, is heating up and it'll only be a matter of time until Dean Ambrose is challenging Bad News for the coveted white championship belt. Although we got a glimpse at the potential BNZ gimmick and a view as to what this program is all about, I wasn't really feeling anything outside of the comedy courtesy of Curtis Axel. I have to say this segment didn't matter.
Two matches down and a third set to begin before the one-hour mark—this Smackdown is moving forward at full speed. Inside the squared circle is the rechristened, darker Fandango who's dancing alongside his newest squeeze, Rosa Mendez. The music hit and the one group of people on the planet that know it's party time
ALL THE TIME
made their way to ringside. Once upon the apron however, the unparalleled Adam Rose began to second guess whether or not he should trust his entourage to catch him during their routine trust fall. He finally gave in and his worries were justifiable when the entire group plummeted to the ground. Rose was livid and attacked the closest members of the Party Posse, singling out the human hotdog before finally heading into his match with Fandango. The darker side of both individuals seems to work to their credit and this was an enjoyable contest that saw Fandango get the better of an understandably distracted Adam Rose. I love Adam Rose, so by default, this match and the hijinks therein were 100% COOKIN!
This past Monday I spoke as to why the Miz is a perfect person for someone like Damien Sandow to work with in order to achieve the greatest possible success. The Miz is a Triple Crown Champion having held the three most prestigious belts in WWE history in addition to the alternate
world
tag titles, the United States championship, as well as the Money in the Bank briefcase. It would be hard to find a Superstar as decorated as the Miz currently working on the main WWE roster, and if Sandow were to work with someone such as John Cena or the Big Show, he'd most certainly be squashed inside of a month. But the Miz is a perfectly malleable worker who is capable of elevating his opponents through his own selfless dedication. His match this evening with Roman Reigns was maybe Reigns' best singles contest outside of his match with Randy Orton at Summerslam. It also made sense that both men would care to engage in battle after the events of Miz TV earlier in the evening. The WWE gets ridiculed for constantly beginning programs and letting them die without warning, and this was a prime example of tying up loose ends and using ones assets to their advantage. This was my match of the night with special consideration going to the Miz who doesn't get nearly the credit he deserves, but with plenty of positives out of Roman Reigns as well. If the Samoan with the Superman Punch can continue to have contests like these between now and Wrestlemania, we might be privy to a compelling showdown at Levi's Stadium. COOKIN' without a doubt!
I'm generally much higher on Rusev and his performance both in the ring and on the mic, but I thought his match with Rowan was borderline boring. It was exciting enough with all of the powerful high spots both big men are known for, but it never hooked me the same way some of the other matches this evening did. I also don't find Rowan terribly interesting as a babyface character, I think it's akin to when Mankind stopped being hardcore and starting hanging out with clowns. This was a miss-able match, one that Rusev most certainly won as he gets set to walk into Memphis to take on John Cena at Fastlane—it doesn't matter.
After the WWE decided to paint Paige brown on Raw, she's back in action against Alicia Fox once more, this time without any outlandish outside interference. I really enjoy Paige and even Alicia Fox to a degree, but the young �Brit' makes me especially excited for what may be ahead in the WWE's Diva Division. Charlotte recently gave an interview in which she said she'd like to headline a pay-per-view one day; could that be in the cards for the women as the main roster product continues to evolve, and might Paige be daring enough to take on the daughter of Ric Flair on such a grand stage? While that remains to be seen, what does not is the rest of this match which goes in favor of Paige who is now burning on all cylinders preparing to challenge Nikki Bella for the Diva's championship in just two weeks at Fastlane. For fans of female wrestling this might not have been your favorite altercation, but in the wacky world of sports entertainment, I thought this exhibition between Paige and Alicia Fox was pretty good—COOKIN' in fact!
What began as an exciting night of innovative and progressive wrestling, ended with the same contrived brand of predictable handicap booking we've come to expect from the biggest name in the industry. I've learned to take the good with the bad when it comes to WWE, and although the main event was flooded by a deluge of unnecessary set-ups and high spots, I can take solace in the fact that Daniel Bryan was victorious. He fought the odds and battled Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury to a comically
precedented
victory, only to fall at the hands of Kane. The biggest takeaways from the main event were the uncanny physical attributes and charisma of Mercury and Noble who could very well join the active roster tomorrow and be in line for a mid-card singles run. This match would have been better positioned on Raw, because after the one-on-one between Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins that closed the show Monday, I was in no mood for this overly booked Hollywood-writer bout—I wanted a wrestling match! I suppose it was worth watching until the end as the finale of Raw and Smackdown tend to lead directly into the next episode, but for all intents and purposes, you could have very well stopped watching Smackdown after Reigns wrestled the Miz. That means it doesn't matter!
Nothing groundbreaking on the SyFy Network, but a much more enjoyable ride than the likes of which we've been stuck on since around Survivor Series. The WWE appears to be working programs from the inside in a way that takes advantage of the dying days of Kayfabe. What may lie ahead for Daniel Bryan, for Roman Reigns, and what might we expect going into a highly volatile situation with the King of Kings and the
Sting of Stings
? The WWE is picking up where they left off with compelling storytelling and robust personalities; let's hope for the best as we continue along the bumpy street heading into Santa Clara, California. Until next time my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to keep it here at Cheap-Heat for all the latest and greatest columns, countdowns and coverage spanning the world of professional wrestling.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/smackchat-january-29th-2015-smackdown-is-war/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/smackchat-january-29th-2015-smackdown-is-war/#comments Fri, 30 Jan 2015 04:53:36 +0000
Gary Mastriano
Blogs
Other Blogs
Other Reviews
Reviews
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bad News Barrett
Bella Twins
Big Show
BNB
Cesaro
Cody Rhodes
Daniel Bryan
Dust Brothers
Goldust
Hall of Fame
HBK
HHH
HOF
John Cena
Kane
Michael Cole
Paige
Paul Heyman
RAW
Renee Young
Roman Reigns
Royal Rumble
Rusev
Smackdown
Stardust
The Ascension
Triple H
Undertaker
Wade Barrett
WWE
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9372
Smackchat: January 29th 2015 Smackdown is War So I don't remember anticipating Smackdown this eagerly in a loooooooooong time. Coming out of an extremely controversial Royal Rumble. I do not want to spend much time on the outcome, because it is what it is what it is and I have moved on from it. I […]
Smackchat: January 29th 2015
Smackdown is War
So I don't remember anticipating Smackdown this eagerly in a loooooooooong time. Coming out of an extremely controversial Royal Rumble. I do not want to spend much time on the outcome, because it is what it is what it is and I have moved on from it. I think Triple H summed up everyone's feeling when he said…."Man that triple threat was one of the best matches I have ever seen in my life." I have heard so many people say this over the past few days. Because as badly as that Rumble match was booked, the WWE delivered this amazing match, and almost everything is forgiven. At the end of the day that's all we want- amazing matches telling amazing stories with hard working passionate guys who have earned their spot.
Coming into this episode of Smackdown, the first real TV produced since Royal Rumble, there are so many questions to be answered. How will the WWE Universe respond to Roman Reigns? What's next for Daniel Bryan? How will John Cena respond to Rusev? I am sure at least one of these questions will be answered.
Opening Segment
So Triple H is feuding with the weather? Hunter is in fine form tonight bringing the majority of the world up to speed on why we didn't see a live episode of Raw on Monday. He also comments on Deflategate telling us that WWE loves balls. Triple H is in 2009 era comedy mode, reminding us that no matter how evil he is he can still break the 4th wall and deliver some great one liners. Triple H's comedy act works really well when we don't see it often. He even teases a BIG announcement for Raw.
H comes right out with it and acknowledges that the fans were not happy with the outcome of the Royal Rumble. This brings out The Vest in the World to a mixed reaction. Well not really a mixed reaction, sort of like… no reaction. Not good. A chorus of boos would have been at least some reaction. Say what you want about Cena, but you can feel the electricity when he enters an arena. Always to a reaction by the way. We get preview of the next few months as Reigns goes toe to toe with someone far superior on the mic. Man Paul Heyman is gonna eat this guy alive.
Roman Reigns vs Big Show
Ok… why the hell was Roman Reigns upside down for 1/3 of this match? What the hell was that??? I have never seen Big Show, or anyone, do that upside calve lock. Ok… moving on. This was a smart move though. Roman Reigns needed to come out swinging tonight… he sort of did? I am not sure if Big Show was the best possible opponent. Roman should have went out there and put on a really great match with someone like… Cesaro or Wade Barrett. Someone that could have at least made Reigns look really credible and good. Not taking anything away from Big Show, but his slow plodding style does nothing for Reigns' explosive offense. That Superman punch is pretty over though, can't deny that.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Hall of Fame announcement-
Paige won this video package. I love Paige. I am happy Arnold is going in, although he is only loosely tied to WWE. He hit Triple H once, that's what qualifies you for the Rumble. Remember when he was on Smackdown promoting End of Days? He was rocking that cool beard. End of Days had a pretty good soundtrack.
John Cena/Rusev Segment
You want to know why John Cena is in his words The Face That Runs This Place (awesome btw!)? Because of promos like this one. HOT DAMN! Cena was on fire harkening back to his Thuganomics gimmick! Rusev started out complaining about the Rumble ending with some impressive mic skills of his own. Cena hit the ring with a head of steam and got some great verbal jabs in about pubes and boobs. If this is a preview of this feud, sign me up!!!! This one segment alone got me super excited for this match/matches. That's how your top guy is supposed to handle himself on the mic.
Renee Young is my celebrity crush. So is Paige. They should be my friends…also the Bellas….
The Ascension mid entrance promo sold me on this team for the first time since they joined the main roster. Such a simple easy way to get them over. The early 90s style promo was a perfect balance of tongue in cheek goofiness and honest intimidation. Many lolz for "Olddust".
I like that the Dust Brothers gimmick is that Stardust is now too weird even for Goldust. Cody is golden, no pun intended.
Daniel Bryan vs Kane in a Casket Match
Concessions Kane comes out first. Daniel Bryan follows to a MASSIVE pop. Michael Cole reminds us that Bryan has never been in a casket match. Thanks Cole. Bryan and Kane have pretty good chemistry, but by now I am a little tired of this match. Hopefully this is the last of their series.
The match starts off with Bryan coming out strong. His Yes Kicks connect to the joy of the Hartford crowd. Kane takes control by the time of the first commercial break and Bryan has already been wrestling longer than he was in the Rumble.
After the commercial break we get a few casket teases. It is at this time that I realize this HAS to be the first casket match ever on Smackdown. No hyperbole here- I could watch Bryan wrestle all day. I know I said it before but it seems Bryan hasn't changed his offense at all. I just hope he is 100%. Because if it turns out he came back too early, and he gets another injury, for literally no reason, that would suck. I am confident that there is solid plan for Bryan, but was it a plan that could have waited until after the Royal Rumble? We may not know yet, but fingers crossed. If he continues to deliver excellent matches like this one than I am fine with it. This was probably the 2nd best casket match of all time (HBK Taker will always be number 1). Lots of fun spots, including the multiple casket teases, the Yes Lock in the casket, and Bryan delivering the Knee Plus to Kane on the ropes. The final image of Bryan standing on the casket while the ENTIRE arena chanted Yes was a cool ending to a really great match.
Overall Smackdown produced another solid outing. Between great mic work from Cena and Triple H, fun backstage segments (yo R Truth loves magic), and the 2nd best match of the week as the main event, Smackdown was a must watch this week. A really great 2 hours of TV. The WWE had 3 days to plan this show, and it was overall very well put together. You could tell they were saving most of the big moments for Monday, including Triple H's Earth shattering announcement. The image of Bryan standing tall yet again on an episode of Smackdown once again proves my point that WWE could benefit HUGE from another brand split.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-royal-rumble-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-royal-rumble-2015/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2015 05:10:54 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Blogs
Other Blogs
Adam Rose
Bad News Barrett
Bella Twins
Big E
Big Show
Billy Gunn
Bray Wyatt
Brie Bella
Brock Lesnar
Cesaro
Cody Rhodes
Damien Sandow
Daniel Bryan
Dean Ambrose
Dolph Ziggler
Fandango
Goldust
J&J Security
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
John Cena
Kane
Kidd
Kofi Kingston
Konnor
Luke Harper
Mike Chioda
MizDow
Money in the Bank
Natalya
New Age Outlaws
New Day
Night of Champions
Nikki Bella
NXT
Paige
R-Truth
Randy Orton
Rey Mysterio
Ric Flair
Rick Rude
Ring of Honor
Road Dogg
Royal Rumble
Rusev
Ryback
Seth Rollins
Smackdown
Stardust
Ted DiBiase
The Ascension
The Miz
The Usos
TLC
Total Divas
Tyson Kidd
Viktor
Vince McMahon
Wrestlemania
WWE
Xavier Woods
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9209
Educated Guess: Royal Rumble 2015 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty It's the most wonderful time of the year! When the belt is defended—the mayhem is splendid! As �Mania draws near! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Ladies and gentlemen we are approaching our first stop on the "Road to Wrestlemania." Please gather your […]
Educated Guess:
Royal Rumble 2015
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
When the belt is defended—the mayhem is splendid!
As �Mania draws near! It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Ladies and gentlemen we are approaching our first stop on the "Road to Wrestlemania." Please gather your belongings as we head into the home of hardcore wrestling. Philadelphia has been the site of some magnificent moments in the history of this great sport, and this Sunday the "City of Brotherly Love" will once again host a groundbreaking event like none other. This will be the 28th annual Royal Rumble extravaganza, and for some the stakes couldn't be higher. Brock Lesnar will walk into the Wells Fargo Center with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but who will be in possession of the title by the end of the night? And what's more intriguing—who will challenge the champion for the precious prize once we're out of the "Fast Lane," and safely inside Levi's Stadium? There are six scheduled matches this weekend, including a preliminary six-man tag and the Royal Rumble battle royal. Who's going to win? Well I can't predict the future, but I can most certainly venture an
Educated Guess.
New Day vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, & Adam Rose
Before I begin, there are quite a few tag matches this evening, huh? Everything outside of the �Rumble and the triple threat are tag team bouts. Seems mildly excessive, although I guess this could be Vince's answer to critics claiming tag team wrestling is dead. "Then we'll give �em four tag matches, damn it!" This match will go on during what use to be known as the Free-for-All, the preshow exclusively available on the WWE Network. Last month I watched TLC from a local tavern that was playing the event over regular old cable TV. I was dumbfounded to discover the preshow for pay-per-view audiences features Scott Stanford in the WWE's Connecticut Headquarters, versus the live panel and opening contest you see on the WWE Network. Here we will have the chance to watch the highly talented trio known as the New Day head up against the hodgepodge conglomeration of Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose. I really like the latter three, especially Adam Rose as I think now is the time for Leo Kruger to make his violent return. He's been teasing nuances of his former persona for weeks, and since teaming with Tyson and Cesaro we've seen a ruthless side of Adam Rose, the likes of which we've not be privy since the early days of NXT. Although my favorite team is that belonging to the Swiss Superman, I'll have to go with Big E, Xavier Woods, and Kofi Kingston inside a quick 5 minute match. I don't expect it to go much longer than that, as the Royal Rumble panel is promised to be quite an affair in itself.
Educated Guess: The New Day
The New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension
It's hard to tell what's going on with Konnor and Viktor. The Ascension appear completely clueless on TV each week, lacking any self-awareness as to how ridiculous and outdated their entire gimmick truly is. What was it they said to a ring full of Legends and Hall of Famers? "Born and bred to rip and shred?" Something like that? Come on—this has to be a rib! Could this be the most tongue-in-cheek booking the WWE's attempted since the Attitude Era? Allow the Ascension to demolish each and every enhancement talent on their way to the top, only to lose whenever they face a legitimate team. And I don't mean a physically imposing team, I mean like… Los Matadores. Or have Too Cool come back again only to snap the Ascension back into shape. But where does that lead? Unfortunately I think the Ascension has fallen victim to an all-too-common ailment known colloquially as "Not Having It"—according to Vince McMahon. I mentioned in a previous article the rumors circulating regarding Vince's hidden agenda to dismiss Triple H's NXT all-stars; since arriving in the WWE the Ascension seems to have gotten goofier by the week. I don't think there's any way the Ascension walks away with a victory. I think this will be a short match with Road Dogg's usual dancing spiel and Billy Gunn's "Fame-Asser" for the win. If the Ascension
does
happen to emerge with their hands held high, I'll be surprised and highly impressed with the WWE for putting a younger gamble ahead of a worn-out guarantee.
Educated Guess: The New Age Outlaws
The Bella Twins vs. Paige & Natalya
As far as the main roster, there aren't two Divas more formidable than the duo of Paige and Natalya. Both come from decorated wrestling royalty in Canada and the UK respectively, and are without question the most technically-sound women the WWE features on either Raw or Smackdown. I don't think there's any Diva in the locker room who could tangle with either woman in a shoot fight, but this isn't fighting, this is professional wrestling—that's why Nikki Bella is the champion. And what a magnificent champion she really is. Both Bellas have come an extraordinarily long way since starting with no wrestling credentials to their name, but especially Nikki. This time last year I think we'd all agree that Brie is the more mat-savvy of the two, but within the last twelve months Nikki has found herself and hit her stride between the ropes. She plays the classic heel archetype perfectly, the same as Ted DiBiase or even Ric Flair. She has a defined skillset that she puts on display when it's at her advantage, but would much rather win a match through trickery and deceit. I see her cower when her opponents loom near, and it makes me think of how many times Rick Rude would walk around the ring before he was finally set to meet his adversary head-on. I think Nikki is one of the most successful female heels in modern WWE history because the heat she garners comes from a genuine place. While I don't think either Brie or her championship twin sister could hold a candle to their thoroughbred rivals, I imagine the Diva's title holder will be on the winning side of this encounter when the night is through.
Educated Guess: The Bella Twins
WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos (c) vs. Miz & Mizdow
In case you haven't had your share of comradery and team-work, the next match is—another tag match! This time however, the gold is on the line. Or the bronze. Can we talk about
this
for a moment? How hideous are those tag team titles. I'm hoping Cody Rhodes returns to his �Dashing' former self, wins the tag titles with someone equally tailored, and proceeds to exchange another gaudy piece of shit for the classic design. Seriously, I don't like to use profanity in my writing but those belts are just the worst. Absolutely dreadful, why would anyone want them? They're not even the real tag titles that can be traced back to 1971, they're apart of the fake lineage started in 2002 with Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. That's complete and utter horse-shit. So about this match—I really do love tag team wrestling; I think we can all agree that tag matches tend to be faster paced thanks to the various combatants involved. I heard a stat courtesy of Bryan Alvarez on Wrestling Observer Radio, stating that this will be twenty-some-odd times that these two teams have battled since the beginning of their rivalry. I imagine this has to be the final blow-off, because their feud has reached a point where options are limited. The Usos need to start working with another tag team, perhaps Cesaro and Kidd, while the Miz and Mizdow focus on the inevitable break-up program they'll work heading into �Mania.
Educated Guess: The Usos
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Brock Lesnar has only wrestled five matches in the past year, four of which he won, the other he lost by disqualification. Outside of his lackluster blowout with the Big Show at last year's �Rumble, each of Brock's matches has been marred with uncertainty. Of course nobody expected the "Beast" to break the Streak at Wrestlemania in New Orleans. And who could have predicted the way he demolished John Cena at both Summerslam and Night of Champions? This match is just as precarious but brings with it the added element of a third participant—Seth Rollins. I wrote a feature article here at Cheap-Heat, in which I explored the three most plausible outcomes for this match, with a different man emerging victorious in each scenario. While I could make a case for anybody to leave Philadelphia with the championship belt, I think the smart bet is with Mr. Money in the Bank. The only strike Seth has against him is never having held the world title before. Otherwise I think he'd be a much stronger favorite amongst odds makers. I think the most likely situation would feature Seth as a sacrificial lamb, slaughtered from bell to bell by both John Cena and Brock Lesnar, until Cena pulls out an upset by pinning Rollins rather than Lesnar. As any Beast would do, Brock loses his mind and decimates Cena for stealing the championship that nobody could beat him for. Brock then walk out, leaving Seth inside the squared-circle standing across from a dismantled 16-time world champion. With J&J screaming from the sidelines, Seth hands his briefcase to Mike Chioda, and then Lilian Garcia lets us know that Seth Rollins is cashing in his Money in the Bank. It's a predictable proposal that everybody's already pitched, but outside of a clean victory for either John Cena or Brock Lesnar, I think this is Seth's best shot.
Educated Guess: John Cena and then Seth Rollins
The 2015 Royal Rumble
As of my writing this on Friday January 23rd, there have only been seventeen of a total thirty competitors announced for the �Rumble including: Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, Rusev, Bad News Barrett, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Stardust, Big Show, Kane, The Miz, Mizdow, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, Fandango, and Luke Harper. Not among those listed is of course Erick Rowan who failed to defeat Luke Harper in his qualifying match on Smackdown. Who might fill the additional thirteen empty spots? I'd guess a handful of legends, probably one if not all of the commentators, and potentially the return of Randy Orton. In the mystical fantasy that is my everyday thinking, I'd really like to see some surprise returns from Superstars long-since gone. Maybe Rey Mysterio will be met with more jubilant fanfare
this
year, as long as he doesn't "steal" Daniel Bryan's spot again. I guess I might as well get down to my prediction as to who's going to win the Royal Rumble and headline Wrestlemania in Santa Clara. After much consideration and weighing the options, I think we will see a final four consisting of Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns, and Kane. The final two, after having vanquished the diabolical heels, will be Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Now I could definitely see a Royal Rumble 1994 situation, whereby both individuals fall out of the ring simultaneously, therefore each getting a shot at the belt in the Bay Area. But if I had to choose one winner—I say, "Yes! Yes Yes!" to Daniel Bryan winning the Royal Rumble. As the moments wane and the battle wages, Bryan will use his size and agility to outwrestle and outwit the imposing Samoan with the Superman Punch. Daniel Bryan might also present the greatest number of possibilities as far as championship opponents. If Brock retains, Daniel can play David to his Goliath and overcome the odds. If Cena becomes a 16-time champion, the WWE can play on their real life friendship that's already been exhibited on Total Divas. And if Seth wins his first WWE World Heavyweight title, we'll see two former Ring of Honor champions wrestling on the biggest platform in the entire sport. I think Bryan and Brock would have a phenomenal match; I think Bryan and Cena would have an interesting program; but I can't come up with anything more intense than Daniel Bryan challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event at Wrestlemania 31.
Educated Guess: Daniel Bryan
Though the �Rumble might seem fairly predictable, the outcome of the title match is still anybody's guess. And just because we assume to know who's walking out of Philly the winner, there's always the chance Batista could come back and win it instead. Seriously though, Bryan and Reigns have been tapped for success, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the high octane excitement of a 30-man battle royal. I'm very much looking forward to this Sunday's event as the Royal Rumble is usually one of the best pay-per-views of the year. Remember you can catch all the action through your local cable or satellite providers, or by signing up for the WWE Network for just $9.99. I'm fairly certain the �Network is available in most places, so nobody has an excuse not to check out the 28th annual Royal Rumble. Thank you for joining me again, and I'll see you next month with my
Educated Guess
about "Fast Lane!"
http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-3-mustaches-of-the-mat/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-3-mustaches-of-the-mat/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2015 03:27:25 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Top Lists
AWA
Blackjack Lanza
Blackjack Mulligan
Bob Backlund
Cody Rhodes
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Dan Severn
Dwayne Johnson
Gene Okerlund
Goldust
Hall of Fame
Hulk Hogan
Jake "The Snake" Roberts
Jake Roberts
Magnum TA
Mean Gene
NXT
Ox Baker
Ravishing Rick Rude
Rick Rude
Ring of Honor
Rocky Johnson
ROH
Silas Young
Simon Gotch
Stardust
The Blackjacks
The Iron Sheik
The Rock
The Vaudevillains
WCW
WWE
WWF
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9005
Lucky Thirteen #3 Mustaches of the Mat Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Is there anything more MANLY than a MUSTACHE? I'm not talking about a goatee or a beard, I'm talking about a fine strip of "face frosting" sculpted expertly betwixt the nose and the lips. Mustaches go hand-in-hand with the ambiguously glamorous and macho […]
Lucky Thirteen #3
Mustaches of the Mat
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
Is there anything more MANLY than a MUSTACHE? I'm not talking about a goatee or a beard, I'm talking about a fine strip of "face frosting" sculpted expertly betwixt the nose and the lips. Mustaches go hand-in-hand with the ambiguously glamorous and macho world of professional wrestling. Commonly regarded as the first spectator sport in the world, wrestling has long since served to separate the weak from the strong, and to elevate combatants from mere men to immortal icons. So too have mustaches separated superior specimens of masculinity such as Howard Finkel from clean shaven nerdy-boys like John Cena. Ladies and gentlemen my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, taking a break from the serious stuff with this week's, "Lucky Thirteen: Mustaches of the Mat."
13. Silas Young
Although mustaches may appear more synonymous with yesteryear, there are quite a few colorful characters sporting the whiskered look in today's industry as well. Number thirteen on our countdown is Ring of Honor superstar and nephew to Stan Hansen, Silas Young. Silas has garnered the same sort of reputation for rough-housing that "The Lariat" did twenty years ago, although in 2015 his blend of straight forward ass-kicking is less common and therefore an invaluable tool in the repertoire of "The Last Real Man." And how can you tell Silas is a real man? Look no further than that corpulent "cookie duster" swinging under his nose! Silas is only 34 years old but sporting what we've dubbed the "Ron Swanson" makes him look more like a grizzled scout leader than a professional wrestler.
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
This mustache from Stone Mountain might not have been the most distinguishing facet of Jake Roberts' character, but it was the scariest! The WWE Hall of Famer otherwise known as "The Snake" never held a WWE title belt, though he still managed to earn a lasting place in the hearts and minds of audiences across the world. Though Jake will probably be most remembered for his reptilian pal Damien, I'd like to think part of his mythos might be attributed to the stylish "snout-snake" he wore proudly across his face as well. Jake's flimsy facial hair is one of the only staches in the business that goes whichever way Jake is thinking—it's like a MOOD MUSTACHE!
11. Cody Rhodes
It's not just smoke and mirrors, Cody Rhodes was truly at the top of his game when that glorious "bro-merang" landed on his lip. The former tag team and intercontinental champion has gone through many changes during his career, currently teaming with half-brother Dustin as "Gold and Stardust." But Cody's most compelling character was most certainly the debonair manscaping savant dubbed "Dashing" Cody Rhodes. While a great deal of wrestlers tend to resemble rapists when they grow their facial hair, Cody was fortunate enough to instead look like a police detective. Working long hours might show around the eyes, but the mustache won't sleep until this case is solved!
10. "Mean" Gene Okerlund
Perhaps less time in the gym makes for more opportunities over the sink, because while there are plenty of mustaches in the wrestling industry, there are few as precise and pristine as the one residing on "Mean" Gene Okerlund. Unlike the rest of the list, Gene never made his wage inside the squared-circle but instead behind the microphone. As the birth of television gave rise to a litany of new jobs, Gene knew there was only one way to make it to the top in the world of broadcasting—a mustache! But not just any old "dirt squirrel" would do, as Okerlund has managed to keep his one of the finest kept patches of facial fur in the business for nearly fifty years.
9. Rocky Johnson
Black guys might complain about the manageability of their hair, but I'll be damned if Rocky Johnson didn't have a set of killer "lip luggage." Highly respected and forever admired as one half of the first-ever African American tag team champions in WWE history, Hall of Famer Rocky Johnson passed his exceptional skills inside the ring along to his son and former World Heavyweight Champion Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. What he
didn't
pass along were his unbelievable mustache genetics! In 1999 Dwayne had the chance to play his dad on Fox's "That 70's Show," complete with Rocky's signature hair style and of course, that "Lando Calrissian" mustache!
8. Simon Gotch
The next mustachioed marvel on our countdown is none other than NXT's resident strongman Simon Gotch! Simon might appear to be a Victorian Era bodybuilder, but alongside Aiden English he's one half of a modern day tag team down in WWE Developmental called "The Vaudevillains." In addition to performing extraneous outdated exercises, the "Gentleman Bruiser" comes equipped with a waxy upturned mustache fitting the time period with which he identifies. I hope NXT continues to book Simon Gotch on a regular basis, otherwise he'll be free to tie the residents of Orlando to train tracks.
7. The Blackjacks
Have we entered the Wrestling Mustache Hall of Fame since we're talking about Blackjack Mulligan and Blackjack Lanza? The Blackjacks were a dominant and fearsome duo who not only revolutionized tag team wrestling, but did so with style and finesse! Cowboy gimmicks are older than professional wrestling in America, and cheaper to book than a ten-gallon hat. The Blackjacks were different in their style and used their seemingly identical features to their advantage. While most roughnecks might let their entire beard grow in lieu of shaving, the Blackjacks maintained a level of sophistication by styling almost aristocratic mustaches that contrasted magnificently with their dirty vests and leather chaps.
6. The Iron Sheik
Before coming to America, Khosrow Viziri was a body guard for the Shah of Iran and a member of the 1968 Iranian Olympic Team. He came to the United States and after working as an Olympic coach, Viziri entered the sport of professional wrestling and was soon named, "The Iron Sheik." The �Sheik would work in the AWA and WWE and would reach his highest level of success in 1983 when he defeated the 6-year reigning WWF Champion Bob Backlund. Despite his valiant efforts in the ring, the �Sheik will probably be most remembered for his outlandish escapades since retiring including various "shoot interviews" and YouTube appearances. But through it all, The Iron Sheik manages to maintain the same spectacular "nose neighbor" he's had since winning the championship in 1983. That's thirty-two years-worth of mustache wax.
5. Dan "The Beast" Severn
Before Brock Lesnar there was only one beast of professional wrestling and mixed martial arts, and it as Dan Severn. Aside from being the most legitimately lethal man on the countdown, Dan is also the friendliest-
looking.
Dan Severn didn't have any sort of extensive stay in the WWE, but it was long enough to warrant an action figure be made complete with "dad stache." Don't let his kind hearted appearance fool you, Severn was an acclaimed pioneer in the early days of �Ultimate Fighting,' and held the NWA World Heavyweight Championship twice. I feel as though I have to convince nonbelievers how terrifying this man can be, because his insanely practical "ketchup catcher" makes him look like an �80s sitcom dad.
4. Magnum T.A.
Perhaps more than anyone else on the countdown, Magnum T.A.'s gimmick was that he had a really cool mustache. For anyone that doesn't know, apparently there was a show starring Tom Sellek called, "Magnum P.I." and he was a detective or a bus driver or something. I'm not exactly sure because I just skimmed the Wikipedia article on it. I was born in 1986 so I know Tom Sellek as Monica's old boyfriend on "Friends." Magnum T.A. is far more memorable to a wrestling nerd like me and he's famous for being the "megastar that never was." Magnum's popularity and look combined with stellar work-rate had him poised to replace Hulk Hogan on top of the industry, until a near-fatal car accident left him paralyzed. Although his career was cut dramatically short, Magnum had a helluva run and still has one hell of a Tom Sellek mustache.
3. "Ravishing" Rick Rude
His body's chiseled, abs all in a row; you'd think he was sculpted by Michelangelo. But what about the epitome of manliness tucked away in the center of his face, why doesn't his WCW theme song talk about the absolutely diabolical mustache that so greatly added to the overall evil appeal of Rick Rude? The late "Ravishing" Rick Rude had an unbelievable career and won several titles including the WWF Intercontinental and the WCW International World Heavyweight Championships. The Ravishing One was a founding member of D-Generation X in 1997, because what's more X-Rated than a certifiably pornographic mustache? Although similar to the "face lace" on the lip of Magnum T.A., Rick Rude's cavalier persona made his mustache less heroic and therefore similar to that of Burt "Turd Ferguson" Reynolds. The world lost two legends on April 20, 1999: the unequivocally talented "Ravishing" Rick Rude—and his highly decorated, veteran "lady tickler."
2. Hulk Hogan
When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, it's probably a big leg drop brother! Hulk Hogan is arguably the biggest draw in the history of professional wrestling. Now while I'll admit the initial Hulkamania boom had a lot to do with a successful marketing campaign, that sandy "womb broom" of Terry Bollea couldn't have hurt matters much—especially in the 1980's! Sure, talk about his champion titles and record-setting main events and movies and pasta restaurants and reality TV show and murderously irresponsible children—all I want to talk about is that golden handlebar that's always glistening regardless of what decade it's in. The �80s "Bro-gan" was basic with very little character, but over time it grew and whether it's posted up against a freshly shaved chin, or amidst a crop of NWO black stubble, the �Hogan Stache' is the number two stache in wrestling history. BROTHER!
1. Ox Baker
The number one mustache in wrestling history belongs to a much-beloved wrestler, actor, and all-around legend in the world of erratic facial hair—Ox Baker. For many of us born in the late 1980's, Ox isn't a wrestling character we're readily aware of, but he was a legend in the early years of the WWWF and in the waning days of the territory system. In addition to his wrestling accolades, Ox made several cinematic appearances in movies such as "Escape from New York," "The Big Brawl," and as a contestant on "The Price is Right" in 1981. To help convey his unpredictable presence between the ropes, Ox grew a large bristly mustache that grew outward and reached down beneath his chin. Fans across the world were saddened in 2014 when Baker passed at the age of 80, mustache still intact.
I hope you enjoyed this unprecedented look at the Top Mustaches in Professional Wrestling History, or "Mustaches of the Mat." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you that I'll be back next week with another Lucky 13 Countdown. Until then be sure to catch up on my most recent reviews and columns, exclusively available at Cheap-Heat!
http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-122015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-122015/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2015 02:08:31 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Blogs
Other Blogs
Adam Rose
Alexander Rusev
Big Show
Bray Wyatt
Brian Pillman
Christian
Curtis Axel
Dean Ambrose
Dean Malenko
ECW
Edge
Goldust
J & J Security
Jamie Noble
Joey Mercury
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Konnor
Miz
MizDow
Mr. Perfect
NWA
NXT
Phil Brooks
R-Truth
RAW
Rhodes Brothers
Ring of Honor
Roddy Piper
Roman Reigns
Royal Rumble
Rusev
Ryback
Seth Rollins
Smackdown
Stardust
Steve Austin
The Ascension
The Authority
The Giant
The Usos
TNA
Viktor
Vince McMahon
WCW
WWE
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8500
Let me be among the first columnists here at Cheap-Heat to wish you and yours a wonderfully Happy New Year and welcome to 2015! Thus far things feel pretty much the same when compared to last year but let’s not jinx ourselves because boring is better than any number of alternatives—am I right? I feel […]
Let me be among the first columnists here at Cheap-Heat to wish you and yours a wonderfully Happy New Year and welcome to 2015! Thus far things feel pretty much the same when compared to last year but let’s not jinx ourselves because boring is better than any number of alternatives—am I right? I feel good, so let's skip the ceremony and talk about Smackdown! Monday Night Raw was a white knuckle thrill ride up until the last segment so I’m optimistic that my breakdown of Smackdown might yield equally exciting moments—granted I usually write this intro blindly before I even tune in, so we're all going to find out together! My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I’m ready to report on the first Smackdown of 2015. More importantly I’m here to tell you What’s Cookin’ and What Doesn’t Matter!
You think you know us…
The reception couldn't have been hotter this past Monday when the former tag team champions and innovators of TLC opted to host the final Raw of 2014. However if I know the WWE the way I think I do, they'll try and take what worked for the USA Network and reimagine it on SyFy—and that's exactly what they did. The reaction to the hosts of The Cutting Edge and Peep Show respectively was far less energetic than the live response on Raw, but it's still good to see both Edge and Christian regardless of what the arena may have to say. Christian is a captivating character to me for a variety of reasons, unfortunately not all of which are positive. Back in 2005 when he broke from the �Fed and jumped ship to TNA there were a lot of people convinced that Captain Charisma was a far bigger deal than Vince ever allowed him to become. In hindsight it appears that Christian was just the first major WWE talent to sign with TNA, however his NWA World Heavyweight title reign helped to cement him as a main event superstar in millions of minds across the world. I appreciate Christian for everything he's done in the WWE, in TNA, on the independent circuit and beyond but I refuse to pretend that Jason Reso and Adam Copeland are anywhere close to one another when it comes to accomplishments. During the opening segment in which both former world champions made their way to the ring, I was privy to a plethora of Tweets, many of which questioning why Edge is always upstaging Christian. Uh—it's because he's better than Christian. And that's really all there is to it. That being said, I do think Christian deserves more of a championship send off than the quiet retirement he's been otherwise relegated to. Unlike Raw which had a hodgepodge of well-constructed backstage segments, Smackdown was forced to make due with Edge and Christian's boring blend of sophomoric stunts. Speaking of which: what the hell did they even draw on the photo of Stephanie and Hunter? If I had to tell you whether the interplay between Edge and Christian was Cookin' or Didn't Matter, I'd be inclined to give it the thumbs up as it is sure to tickle at least one of your funny bones and could prove to be the most exciting fifteen minutes of the entire show.
J&J Security is the New APA
Okay that's not exactly true, but I'm enjoying Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury quite a bit, perhaps just as much as I did the beer swilling antics of The Acolyte Protection Agency some 15 years ago. When the limo pulled into view I was almost certain we were going to get our first taste of The Authority in 2015, but as soon as I saw the disheveled driver I said, "There's no way Triple H would stand for that." And sure enough it was The New Stooges—2015's answer to Brisco and Patterson! Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble are two of the most talented wrestlers of the past ten years and beyond. In fact while many might remember Mercury for his tag team title victories, fewer can recall Jamie "Noble" Gibson's 2005 reign as Ring of Honor World Champion. It's an honor for WWE to present these venerated icons on TV each week, I just hope it leads to an appearance by their fellow producer and similarly decorated wrestler Dean Malenko. Not much to say about these two and their role on tonight's show other than to praise the work they do alongside whomever they're positioned. The repartee between the Stooges and E&C was some of the best organic comedy to have come from WWE TV in a long time and it makes me wonder if the company is utilizing any of these four talents in teaching timing to the kids down in developmental. In terms of overall talent, Jamie and Joey are two of the most formidable members of the main roster and it's only fitting that the promotion continues to feature them. If I had to narrow down the asinine antics of J&J to just one moment, it would most likely be when the duo commandeered Edge and Christian's pose-down gimmick, choosing to instead pose themselves—for the benefit of everybody with flash photography, of course. All around a cookin' display by two future Hall of Fame candidates.
“Lay down Rowan! We’re not meant to fight!”
When I released my "Top Fourteen Wrestlers of 2014", I was immediately criticized for not listing Bray Wyatt—not even as one of my SIX honorable mentions. Wyatt is an exceptional talent when Creative cares to provide him with provocative and oftentimes controversial material with which to work, but outside of his feud with John Cena during the first half of the year, I thought 2014 was a rather lackluster year for the next generation Varsity Club Member. The quiet dissolution of the Wyatt Family might have made sense in regards to protecting Luke Harper but it's done nothing to explain the current mindset of Erick Rowan. When this match kicked off, the audience could hear Wyatt plead with Rowan, heaving heavily-worded epitaphs to their former friendship at the monster, and protecting himself only with the phrase, "We are not meant to fight." This leads me to wonder what kind of contact the two "brothers" have even had since the confusing way in which their stable disbanded. I'm hopeful that 2015 will be a landmark year for young Windham Rotunda—quite frankly any sort of spotlight would spell a more successful several months for Rowan. I'd like to see Rowan built upon in a more respectable fashion, perhaps by engaging himself with Rusev once his streak has been squashed. If Erick Rowan can walk away from TV with a handful of victories this year, the next clash between Big Red and The Eater of Worlds might prove to be far more fascinating than this, a segment which I must admit does not matter.
Rhodes and Rose versus Truth and Usos
To truly get the most out of that title you'll need some cursory knowledge of iambic pentameter—it's a poetry thing, it doesn't matter. When I wrote my review for Raw I made mention that while there wasn't a whole lot of work going on from bell to bell, the few matches we did witness were enough to offset an otherwise unbalanced broadcast. The same cannot be said for Smackdown however as the shorter show had just as few moments of mat work, but lacked severely by comparison in regard to promos and production. If I had to choose a match of the night I guess it would be this six-man encounter featuring the new Tag Team Champions teaming with R. Truth as they battle The Rhodes Brothers and Adam Rose. I thought this match was incredibly entertaining despite the commercial breaks that only hindered my enjoyment; whenever I find myself fully invested I'm forcefully ejected from the moment by a commercial for Dig or Haven or whatever other bogus chicanery SyFy feels wrestling fans might be keen on. The Uso's were named the number one tag team in the WWE by many podcasters and columnists, but not without disclaimers disowning the tag division as a whole, thus declaring Jimmy and Jey winners by default. While I can agree the WWE is severely lacking in competition for the now-two time champions, it isn't fair to discredit a deserving team based solely on the company's lack of direction. I think a common complaint is that the Uso's might be making liberal use out of their over-the-top aerial maneuvers, but what else can you fault the duo on other than an unbelievable work ethic? Adam Rose is becoming one of the more interesting members of the roster in my eyes, and believe me—I know how insane that sounds! I think the reemergence of Leo Kruger is all but imminent at this point, though I'm not sure whether he'll change his name or simply remain Adam Rose. This has more than likely been a case of a character not clicking with the audience outside of developmental, but half of me still holds hope that Adam Rose is a cover-persona concocted only to help introduce Kruger in a more meaningful way. This match was definitely cookin' by comparison as it offered the best back and forth storytelling of the evening. Other matches may have featured higher profile players, but this contest was perhaps the only on the card to consider Kayfabe and therefore suspend anybody's disbelief.
Well it's the Big Show…
The Big Show "broke into" the WWE just about 16 years ago and if you would have told me that THE GIANT would be wrestling more than twenty years after his WCW debut, I'd have called you a dirty liar. Who thought Paul Wight would even be alive in twenty-fifteen, much less engaged in one of the more important programs leading into Wrestlemania season? It's absolutely absurd to consider the fact that this guy was the ECW Champion nine years ago, and even then was said to be on the backside of his career. I think it's about time for the "Big Nasty Bastard" to consider accepting a Hall of Fame ring in return for his spot on the main roster, because his presence on the card is getting ugly. I'm not trying to bury the Big Show, but when evaluating what's really wrong with Raw and Smackdown, you shan't look any further than the Big Show to find one hell of a problem. One of the biggest complaints about Vince McMahon and the way he's chosen to run his company is the stigma he inevitably attaches to independent and international talents who were established elsewhere; I think as long as superstars such as �Show and Kane are willing to continue, there will be no shortage of high profile programs available for them. But can we stop putting them through tables? Anyway—I've always been a proponent of using established main eventers to put over deserving young talent, especially in the case of an individual such as Ryback. But I question the logic involved in using The Big Show to sell both Ryback and Reigns simultaneously. A loss on either side cheapens the program going in the Royal Rumble for everybody, all while forcing Ryback into a tough spot with very little hope for a positive outcome. This time last week I was trying to give the WWE the benefit of the doubt as the annual calendar change generally yields lower ratings, but now that we've fully entered another year and Smackdown is set to switch time slots, I have little left in the way of empathy and I implore WWE to start treating their B-show like a live event even if they know it's not. I suppose if you're interested in the further development of Ryan Reeves and The Ryback character this segment might have a few standout spots but it is my professional opinion that this match and the hype associated therein simply does not matter.
Curtis Axel… oh wait no, just kidding…
You get it, because it looked like Curtis Axel was going to compete, but then didn't? Remember? Go ahead and rewind because it happened so quickly that I'm assuming a good deal of Facebook Junkies and Twitter Addicts missed the 30 seconds of ring time and began taking notice again once The Lunatic Fringe started speaking his peace. I can't very well argue that The Big Show shouldn't be squashed and then offer up no opinion on who deserves to do the job instead. Curtis Axel is the perfect superstar for this type of role because he's got name recognition, he's a very talented worker, but nobody gives a Phil Brooks about him! I always wondered why Creative chose to bury guys like Kofi Kingston when Mr. Perfect's sourly untalented son was around, more than happy to get any sort of TV time. I was actually pretty intrigued by the direction this segment took as it introduced Dean as a man willing to handle his business, but still determined to take vengeance on Bray Wyatt. Dean Ambrose gets compared to Steve Austin on a regular basis and while I can see the similarities plain as day, I think Dean may instead lay somewhere between Roddy Piper and Brian Pillman, perhaps with some Scott Levy thrown in as well. I think his movements in the ring in addition to his very distinct facial features are reminiscent of Raven, while his vocal delivery and unpredictable nature are more akin to Roddy Piper. Everybody appears to introduce the uncanny comparisons to Pillman when it comes to the "Loose Cannon" aspect but I more so see Flyin' Brian in Dean's temerity and tenacity inside the ring. As pertains to the program with Wyatt and Ambrose, I couldn't care less about their relationship to one another; I love both characters and I'm inspired to tune in thanks to the thought of where both men might be following this career-defining feud
The Ascension Sucks
I had to get that out somehow without pulling any punches and the facts are simple: The Ascension Sucks. When I first started working for Cheap-Heat I was given an assignment that stated: "Make a case for the Ascension on Team Authority." It was an arduous adventure to say the least as I've never been impressed with either individual and have no faith that they'll ever make it out of 2015. I think their success on NXT was owed greatly to the size difference between developmental and main roster talent. There's been an obvious shift in criteria when it comes to how big a professional wrestler has to be, but the main roster hasn't yet caught up with the rest of the wrestling world the way NXT has. I had a hard time believing any of the action that went on during their debut against The Miz and Mizdow, and I'm sure I'm not the only one as this Friday's match had Konnor and Viktor pitted against an unknown pair of jobbers. To their credit however, the jobbers did a marvelous job of selling the Ascension as well as their finishing move "The Fall of Man" which is basically just "Total Elimination" as performed by amateurs. I don't have much positive to say about The Ascension as their gimmick seems to rely heavily on their ability to dominate. Who are they going to dominate when high flying teams such as The Uso's and Los Matadores are even bigger than they are?
Roman versus Rusev: Protecting Nobody
I understand that Christian wanted to compete with Edge in the coolness category, but Captain Charisma just cannot hold a candle to the Rated R Superstar, even when Christian makes outlandish main event announcements like when he booked Roman Reigns and the United States Champion Alexander Rusev. The most casual of fans has to know that Rusev isn't ready to relinquish his incredibly impressive litany of wins since arriving in the WWE, and it certainly won't happen on a taped show set to broadcast on the second day of the year. At the same time, Roman Reigns has been behind the eight-ball for several months during a time initially deemed the cotillion for twenty-nine year old Leati Anoa'i. The match itself was tolerable enough, but knowing the outcome may only unfold in one of but a few ways inhibits one's ability to get behind either Superstar. I think Rusev is without question the most athletically superior new face on the main roster. A lot is to be said for Seth Rollins but pound for pound, skill for skill—my money is on The Bulgarian Brute. I'm still not sold on Reigns, and I hope the powers-that-be have finally come to terms with the fact that this shouldn't be Roman's year. If he's pushed now, it could tarnish whatever natural momentum he might be privy to in the future. I really think the best thing to do is engage him with the Big Show and stay the course; work him alongside established stars and fellow powerhouses so that by Summeslam he's more suited to challenge Seth Rollins for the title I predict the Architect will be in possession of come August.
Compared to its flagship counterpart this episode of Friday Night Smackdown failed to ever hit a peak with which I felt comfortable declaring a break out moment. There were several moderately interesting occurrences that succeeded in driving the overall story arch forward, but nothing ever clicked with me. I’m a pretty jaded puroresu and indie fanatic, but I usually give WWE the benefit of the doubt. I’m having a hard time believing Smackdown can ever be viable unless it ever goes live, which seems to be too much to ask from a roster of wrestlers already spread far too thin. Whatever they do, I hope the WWE does something to shake up their B Show because it’s becoming little more than 90 minutes of meaningless exhibitions spliced together alongside footage from Raw. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty; if you only make one resolution this New Years, have it be to bookmark my page here at Cheap-Heat. You'll like the way it looks—I guarantee it.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-1-faces-and-the-men-who-paint-them/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-1-faces-and-the-men-who-paint-them/#comments Thu, 01 Jan 2015 18:44:27 +0000
Mark Adam Haggerty
Top Lists
AAA
Abe Schwartz
Barry Windham
Doink
Dustin Rhodes
El Rey Network
Finn Balor
Goldust
Jeff Hardy
Keiji Mutoh
Knuckleball
Lucha Underground
Million Dollar Man
New Japan Pro Wrestling
NJPW
NWA
NXT
Papa Shango
Prince Devitt
Sting
Ted DiBiase
The Boogeyman
The Brooklyn Brawler
The Great Muta
The Stalker
TNA
Ultimate Warrior
Umaga
Vampiro
WCW
Willow
WWE
WWF
http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8385
Lucky Thirteen #1 Faces and the Men Who Paint Them Written by Mark Adam Haggerty When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it a step further and present you with the Lucky Thirteen. Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Mark Haggerty and I have earned sort of a reputation for thinking like […]
Lucky Thirteen #1
Faces and the Men Who Paint Them
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it a step further and present you with the Lucky Thirteen. Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Mark Haggerty and I have earned sort of a reputation for thinking like a JACK GONE OFF HIS SPRING—that means OUTSIDE THE BOX, PEOPLE! I figured with the recent debut of "The Vigilante" Sting, we had better start the series off with a subject that is near and dear to my heart and that is FACE PAINT! Decorating yourself for battle is a tribal practice which dates back thousands of years and is still used today in the wide world of professional wrestling. The art of painting one’s face appears to be a trend falling farther by the wayside as we dig deeper into the 21st Century. But not all wrestlers still sporting a veil of liquid secrecy are relics of the 1980’s or 90’s, as you will soon find out. Let’s talk about faces, and the men who paint them.
13. Doink
I had to start my countdown somewhere and when taking into consideration the overall criteria, it seemed fitting to lead off with Doink the Clown. Doink is last because he wears clown makeup—hardly a cutting edge concept by any means, especially when he was first introduced to a national audience in the 1990s. But when all the WWF needed was a clown, it would have been very easy to phone it in and underperform on the delivery. From the white face to the green hair to the red nose and colorful wardrobe, Doink may not have been anywhere near ahead of his time, but he was an clever concept that we still talk about over twenty years later.
12. Papa Shango
Charles Wright was one of the WWE's longest tenured employees, having held a job for the better part of the 1990's and clear through the turn of the century. While Attitude Era junkies might only recall Wright's role as the conductor of the "Ho Train"—The Godfather, it's always fun to think back on the Voodoo Demon that started it all. Charles began his career with the WWF by filling various roles on TV and finally found his footing as the evil sorcerer known as Papa Shango. Shango went on to have historic encounters with The Ultimate Warrior among others, but perhaps most memorable was the ghostly white skeleton make up that turned an everyday Kama Mustafa into the spell-casting, skull-shaking Papa Shango.
11. Umaga
This list is comprised mainly of full-face make up that in some cases takes hours to apply, but I wanted to take a moment to dedicate at least one entry to the more traditional tribal patterns that prompted man to paint his face for war in the first place. It's sad to think that Umaga is no longer with us, especially when you consider he only made his WWE main roster debut in 2006. Umaga's face was made up with black ink made to resemble permanent tattoos similar to the ancestral warriors of his family. The markings were carefully documented and applied show, week by week in the same sort of style. As time went on, the evolution of the pattern was altered if ever so slightly, but for the most part, the paint that Umaga wore proudly to the ring each night was expertly redrawn each and every time.
10. The Stalker
In 1996 the WWF signed free agent and former NWA mainstay Barry Windham and rather than billing the former Horseman by name and capitalizing on any notoriety earned thereafter, WWF Creative opted to deck the decorated athlete in camo and designate him, "The Stalker." What a weird turn of events, especially when you consider the experience Barry had to share with younger talent at that point in his career during an era dubbed by Vince McMahon, "The New Generation." The Stalker wasn't as creepy as his name would let on, but he still set up shop in the woods and gave promos that began with his eyes fading ever so slowly into view. It was horrendous, but the face paint was rather nifty in that it covered Barry's entire face and made a very well-known wrestler virtually unrecognizable. There have been a lot of military themed paint jobs done in the world of wrestling, but I think the best would have to be "The Stalker" Barry Windham.
9. Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz
If we're going to talk about impressive face paint then we can't leave "The Brooklyn Brawler" Steve Lombardi out of the conversation. Though his potential was admittedly limited, and he never had any sort of memorable moments on TV, Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz had one of the most detailed face paint jobs in the history of the business. His entire head was done up to look like—you guessed it, a baseball! Schwartz was coated in all white complete with stitches wrapping along the edges of his face. And even though most fans can't put their finger on ever seeing old "Knuckleball" wrestle, he will forever be remembered for having one of the Greatest Painted Faces in History.
8. The Great Muta
The Great Muta is one of the most legendary characters in the sport of professional wrestling, both on the shores of Japan and here in the United States of America. His tenure with the NWA and time spent wrestling WCW stars into the 2000's helped introduce Keiji Mutoh to, and kept him associated with a wider audience than would have been privy to him had he stayed in Japan. Muta was always known for alternating between colors and décor on his face. From time to time he would spell out sayings in Japanese lettering, while other times he would maintain solid colors from the top of his forehead to under his chin. Perhaps the most recognizable style of Great Muta Facepaint was his all red with black markings on the chin and cheek. Muta took paint and the use of color one step further in his arsenal, employing what is referred to as "Asian Mist"—a controversial signature maneuver that saw Muta spray a colorful haze into the eyes of his opponents.
7. Jeff Hardy/Willow
Jeff Hardy has always been a very artistic guy no matter how you feel about his particular brand of what he may refer to as art. I always really liked the way he used black light paint during his darkened entrances and then wrestled the entire match covered in this almost otherworldly florescence. In recent years however Jeff introduced a wider audience to a character he had been concocting inside his head for some time—Willow. An utterly insane entity out of some Tim Burton stop motion fantasy, Willow is equipped with a hypnotically-simple Umbrella ala the Penguin in Batman, along with a tall narrow mask and a trench coat. Because everybody needs either a vest or a trench coat. In addition to the numerous costume pieces, Willow serves to take face painting to the next level, incorporating minor details such as eyelid decoration and contact colors into an overall stunning display that isn't easily removed, even during the most death-defying moments of Full Metal Mayhem. The colors on his face blend together but barely touch as narrow lines and sharp corners are used to evoke intense emotions in a masterfully well designed bit of subconscious trickery that seems way far too complex for Jeff Hardy to have don't on purpose. But maybe I'm wrong and if that's the case, then Bravo Jeff Hardy.
6. Vampiro
Nowadays you might only know Vampiro as the white guy from Canada who talks like a Mexican guy from Mexico who sits alongside Matt Striker in the Lucha Temple each and every Wednesday night on the El Rey Network. But back in the 1990's and 2000's, Vampiro was a formidable force up and down the landscape of professional wrestling. Known primarily for his ongoing battles with fellow face painters such as Sting and The Great Muta, Vampiro sported one of the earliest precursors to what are now common three dimensional paint jobs. The colors in his pale skull makeup were shaded so that Vampiro's face truly looked like a skeleton whose head was caving in. Unlike a lot of the higher ranked wrestlers on the countdown, Vampiro never really did much to alter his look, which in the end turned out to be a positive thing for his career as well as his longevity as an athlete and entertainer.
5. The Boogeyman
He's the Boogeyman and he's coming to get you! Yes, his time in the WWE was incredibly short lived and without but a few high profile encounters with the likes of Fit Finlay and King Booker. But The Boogeyman had one of the most interesting looks in all of WWE; he resembled some of the more horrific characters we see today in Mexico and Japan, as his makeup seemed to go beyond the front of his face, wrapping around his head and entering his mouth. His tongue was painted, to add to the grotesque nature of the complete package, and to top it off—he ate worms! The visual presentation of the Boogeyman including the complex design combined with missing teeth made for one of the most fascinating face paint jobs in the history of the business.
4. Ultimate Warrior
The Ultimate Warrior will forever be remembered for the memories he helped create during his time in the WWE and within the wrestling industry as a whole. He entered the business with Steve Borden and began painting his face in order to get noticed faster. The Ultimate Warrior's paint is perhaps the most recognizable in the history of the WWF, as contrary to other talents of the time, Warrior attempted to alter his appearance between each and every show. The Warrior took time in painting the perfect designs with an enormity of different colors, which helped him stand out even more as his imposing nature inside the ring was already doing most of the work. The Ultimate Warrior will surely be missed as he was taken from his friends, family, and fans far sooner than we would have ever thought. But his iconic logo and the numerous color combinations it comes in will always help to remind us of the man known only by one name—Warrior.
3. Sting
The man who inspired this countdown started painting his face alongside The Ultimate Warrior when the two teamed during their more formative years as professional wrestlers. Sting's facepaint is perhaps some of the most iconic across the world of sports and entertainment as unlike the rock band KISS, Steve Borden has never performed without his trademark make up. Sting was billed from Venice Beach, so for the first part of his career he maintained a blonde crew cut and modeled himself after the classic California Surfer, uh—just with neon paint slathered across the upper portion of his face. By 1996, pop culture was developing an edge and Borden's character was in need of immediate updating. Luckily, Sting was able to change with the times thanks to input from a variety of creative sources within WCW including Scott Hall. Sting began dressing like Brandon Lee's character in "The Crow," wearing a long black trench coat with a black and white paint combination. Over time, Sting began to incorporate other colors into the same basic base, most notably red. When Sting became a fixture in TNA he was given more room to express his own creativity and began working with different designs, most notably one that resembled Heath Ledger's joker in the Batman film franchise. It appears Sting will keep the classic black and white during his time in the WWE, but as I'm writing this it's been nearly two months since Survivor Series and still no sign of Sting on Raw or Smackdown. Well, obviously not Smackdown.
2. Goldust
Like most sons growing up in the shadow of their famous fathers, Dustin always had trouble finding his own voice in an industry that was deaf to anyone named Rhodes other than his old man. He had a string of moderately successful midcard appearances including that of "The Natural" in the early 1990's and even appeared on WWF television alongside his father and "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase. In 1995 after signing with Vince McMahon, Dustin introduced the world to a new character shrouded in gold who prayed on his victims physically as well as emotionally and psychologically. The maniacal Goldust was the brainchild of Vince McMahon but it was young Virgil Runnels III who brought the character to life. His eyes and lips were wrapped in deep shades of black while the rest of his face was coated with a thick layer of gold paint resembling the lethal dose delivered in the 1960's classic "Goldfinger." To top it off, literally and figuratively, Dustin donned a blonde wig to finalize the transformation from the son of a son of a plumber to the Hollywood Hill dweller whose bizarre antics were more than most men were willing to address. Over the course of two decades Goldust's face paint and costumery have evolved and sometimes changed drastically, like during the wildly-conceived "Artist Formerly Known as Goldust" days. When counting down the greatest paint of all time, and considering detail above all else, you'd be hard pressed to find few athletes more dedicated than Dustin Rhodes AKA Goldust.
1. Prince Devitt
If you're among the millions of viewers who've been able to catch NXT REvolution by now, you've probably been wondering if Finn Balor was going to pop up on the Countdown of Greatest Face Paint of All Time. Perhaps you figured he's too new to mainstream America to have a chance, or maybe I disqualified anyone sporting "body paint?" Rest assured my independent brothers and sisters, I didn't forget about the man who had what is now being considered the most elaborate entrance in the WWE outside of Wrestlemania—EVER! The truth is, while everyone else on our list has committed a great deal of time and effort to their own work of art upon their face and in some cases elsewhere, there are very few professional wrestlers who would undergo the intensive Hollywood-style make-up sessions required to create some of Devitt's most memorable looks. In the past Devitt has displayed as many comic book super villains as Rey Mysterio has opted to play heroes. It's truly amazing how much Fergal Devitt is willing to commit to each character for whom he pays homage, and that is why the moments he appears in paint are always special occasions. When he debuted on NXT, fans of the former Bullet Club leader were curious as to whether the WWE would allow the newly christened Finn Balor to employ a similar look, or was that a thing of the past? I ventured a guess that maybe the WWE would want to protect against lawsuits from Stan Lee or god forbid Disney! But that's when I remembered the aforementioned Mysterio who gets the go-ahead to do what he wants as long as he does his potbelly flippy moves every time he goes out. I was very happy when REvolution arrived and saw that not only would the WWE allow Balor to paint his face, but they seem genuinely supportive of him in however far he wants to take his creativity.
This list wasn't based on whose face paint is most memorable but by the intricacies therein and overall originality, which is why I feel safe to say Prince Devitt AKA Finn Balor is the best when we choose to break down Faces and the Men Who Paint Them. Thank you for joining me on this debut edition of what I'm sure is going to be a very fun series that I look forward to researching each week. If you have any suggestions on countdown topics or anything you'd like me to address elsewhere, feel free to reach out through email: markadamhaggerty@outlook.com. Remember to bookmark Cheap-Heat on your computer and in your mobile device so you don’t miss any of our countdowns, columns or coverage. Until next time, my name is Mark Haggerty and this has been Lucky Thirteen: Faces and the Men Who Paint Them.
