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http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-lethal-lockdown/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-lethal-lockdown/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2015 16:04:52 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Top Lists Abyss American Wolves Awesome Kong Brian Myers Brooke Brooke Adams Cage Match Cage Matches Cat Videos Davey Richards Dixie Carter Drew Galloway Eddie Edwards Ethan Carter III Gail Kim GFW Global Force Wrestling Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Hardy Jeff Jarrett Jeremy Borash Karen Karen Jarrett Kia Stevens Knockouts Championship Lei'D Tapa Lethal Lockdown Mahabali Shera Matt Hardy Pro Wrestling Professional Wrestling Rockstar Spud Tag Team Tag Team Champions TNA TNA Impact Tyrus Videos Wolves wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14249 Welcome to “Scraping the Barrel” — Cheap-Heat‘s official TNA Impact Countdown, brought to you by B+ Players Radio. This week was Lethal Lockdown—a former pay-per-view event and fitting choice for a week overflowing with pro wrestling excitement. With much to discuss from this broadcast, picking a Top Five was nearly impossible, but we managed to do it. Check […]
Welcome to “
Scraping the Barrel
” —
Cheap-Heat
‘s official
TNA Impact Countdown
, brought to you by
B+ Players Radio.
This week was
Lethal Lockdown—
a former pay-per-view event and fitting choice for a week overflowing with pro wrestling excitement. With much to discuss from this broadcast, picking a
Top Five
was nearly impossible, but we managed to do it. Check out this week’s “
Scraping the Barrel
,” complete with full length video clips.
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http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/#comments Sun, 30 Aug 2015 14:27:48 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Abyss Bobby Roode Bubba Ray Dudley Bully Ray Dixie Carter Dollhouse Drew Galloway GFW Global Force Wrestling Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Jarrett Karen Jarrett Knockout's Manik Pro Wrestling Revolution Sonjay Dutt Taryn Terrell Tigre Uno TNA TNA Impact Velvet Sky WWE WWE Network WWE Universe Youtube http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13871 It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to […]
It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to step back in horror. Perhaps it's coming off an incredibly jam-packed WWE weekend, but I went into this week's episode of Impact with higher hopes than usual. I think I was probably just ready for something different. Let's start Scraping the Barrel , and see what comes in at number five.
5. Rebel is the Newest Member of the Doll House!
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4. Chris Melendez Relinquishes His Leg to Eric Young
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3. The �Wolves vs. The Revolution for the Tag Team Titles
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2. Sonjay Dutt vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno for the X-Division Title
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1. Who is responsible for the recent attacks on TNA talent?
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Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News !
http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-tna-slammiversary-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-tna-slammiversary-2015/#comments Sun, 28 Jun 2015 15:44:41 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Bobby Lashley Bram Ethan Carter III James Storm Jeff Jarrett Jessie Godderz Karen Jarrett Kurt Angle Magnus Matt Hardy Matt Morgan Mr. Anderson Robbie E. Slammiversary Sonjay Dutt TNA TNA Impact Tyrus wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12644 Don't click the back button or check your calendar for any irregularities. You read that right—tonight is a LIVE TNA Pay-Per-View. Tonight's show will be broadcast from the now-iconic Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida. I say iconic because—well, I guess regardless of how anybody might feel about the current TNA product, they're a thirteen year […]
Don't click the back button or check your calendar for any irregularities. You read that right—tonight is a LIVE TNA Pay-Per-View. Tonight's show will be broadcast from the now-iconic Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida. I say iconic because—well, I guess regardless of how anybody might feel about the current TNA product, they're a thirteen year old company. And for nearly a decade, the Universal Studios soundstage has been their home. I'm very much looking forward to tonight's show, but I wonder if I'd feel the same way had Jeff Jarrett not appeared on Impact this past Wednesday? That was a hell of a "go home" show, but now the pressure is on to deliver when the price tag is at it's highest. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I don't make predictions, I make EDUCATED GUESSES based on the current state of the wrestling industry. Who's walking tall and who's leaving with their head hung in defeat? Let's check out the card and figure it out together.
Jessie Godderz vs. Robbie E
What will happen when the "Bromans Collide?" Well—they aren't the Mega Powers, so calm the fuck down. That being said, the Bromans have been a rather tightly knit threesome for the better part of the last two years. All that came to an end however when the most vascular member of this "Guild of Guidos" decided ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH—and it's time for a change. Jessie Godderz is a beast of a man when it comes to raw power and the sort of physique that "2005 Vince McMahon" would kill to sign. He's the kind of individual that would have been featured in Smackdown versus Raw 2006 if he came around a little earlier. You know what I'm talking about—Mark Jindrak? Really? Over the past few weeks, Jessie has made life a living hell for DJ Zema Ion—a phenomenal junior heavyweight performer that never has a chance when he's blindsided from behind by a man nearly twice his size. Robbie E took matters into his own hands, coming to the aid of Zema, and letting Jessie know that if he wants a fight, it had better be with someone his size. I think this will more likely than not be our opening contest, but that doesn't mean it's a skippable bout. When all is said and done, my money is on my fellow New Jersey native Robbie E to shut Jessie up and bring balance to the Jersey Shore. Woo Woo Woo! You know it!
Educated Guess: Robbie E
3-on-2 Handicap Match
The Dollhouse vs. Awesome Kong and Brooke
People have been raving about the TNA Knockouts division for the past decade, and with good reason! While TNA is most certainly interested in the same "Eye Candy" as the WWE, it didn't take them nearly as long to realize that most fans want to see women wrestling and not stripping. Most fans—MOST FANS. When you see someone like Awesome Kong or Jessica Havok or even Gail Kim, your first thought isn't: "I wonder how she'd look in a Bra and Panties Match," rather it's "I wonder if this chick can GO?" The Knockouts Title will not be on the line tonight, as most championship matches—sans the inaugural King of the Mountain title—were scrapped due to the erratic taping schedule. Instead we'll get a fun handicap match wherein the Knockouts Champion Taryn Terrell will lead her "Dollhouse" into battle against the brazen abilities of Brooke and the unequalled power of Awesome Kong. Being that I don't make predictions, rather educated guesses, I've got to go with Awesome Kong and Brooke. The Dollhouse has been dominant, aside from a few instances involving outside interference. This week's episode of Impact featured a backstage segment with Taryn talking to Jade and Marti Bell about their past indiscretions, and warning them about what will happen should they fail her again. I think Slammiversary will be similar to Wrestlemania, in that the majority of babyfaces will finally get their comeuppance against their villainous adversaries. This is also the last TNA ppv on the books for the foreseeable future, and could potentially be their last pay per view EVER. With that in mind, I think it would be foolish to have someone beat Awesome Kong. And Brooke, I guess.
Educated Guess: Awesome Kong and Brooke
Non-Sanctioned Match
Magnus vs. James Storm
Okay I suppose I can't ignore this match anymore, can I? For the past three week's I've outright REFUSED to talk about this program during my reviews, and I think my decision was more than warranted. TNA has been getting a ton of grief as of late, particularly regarding their business practices, but also in relation to the creative direction of the company. When Billy Corgan was hired by Dixie Carter, he said that he wanted to start producing more realistic storylines, rooted in today's society. He mentioned gay and transgender issues—okay, I can dig it. He mentioned national politics—yeah, that sounds cool. Make EC3 a Donald Trump supporter. I love it! What he did not mention however, was his desire to murder people on camera. And I have to assume that was a Corgan idea. A few weeks ago, James Storm pushed Mickey James off of a train platform and down onto the tracks. It was later revealed that she was okay—obviously. But what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? This whole storyline makes me sick, and it seems like everything that is wrong with TNA rolled up into one program. It's too personal without any professional stakes on the line; why are they wrestling instead of having a street fight on their own time? If James Storm tried to murder Magnus's wife, and is all-but stalking his infant son, I can't imagine why Magnus would say: "Oh, let's do it in the ring." If the stipulation was that the loser leaves TNA, then I could see the need for a six-sided ring. If the match was for a title, then yes—the IMPACT ZONE would be a prime location. But this is a personal fight about some [Kayfabe] serious shit. I don't get it, and I don't care. This will be the match in which I walk around the block smoking a joint.
Educated Guess: Magnus
Winner Picks the Next Stipulation in the Best of 5 Series
Austin Aries (w/ Bobby Roode) vs. Davey Richards (w/ Eddie Edwards)
I wholeheartedly believe that Austin Aries versus Davey Richards will be the match of the night. I can't be alone on that, right? These are two former Ring of Honor world champions that have more than proved their worth in tag team competition, both in TNA and elsewhere. Aries and his longtime friend Bobby Roode have been embedded in the midst of a heated Best of Five with the American Wolves, to decide who the Undisputed Tag Team Champions truly are. "The Dirty Heels" managed to tie things up at 2-2 this past Wednesday night after a Full Metal Mayhem match, and the winner of tonight's singles contest will be allowed to pick the next stipulation in the series. Should the next tag match end in a draw, this competition will continue—but the chances of that happening are slim. That means the winner of this singles match tonight will be at a great advantage when he chooses what could be the final match in the Best of Five Series. I'm going to go with Austin Aries, for a few reasons; the Dirty Heels live the gimmick, and although they're beloved by the fans, they're most definitely the villains in this situation. The Dirty Heels won the last match, and if Aries wins this match, it would seem that hope is all but lost for the babyface �Wolves. That is how the magic is made people! Regardless of who wins, I am looking forward to this match more than any other on the card.
Educated Guess: Austin Aries
Bram vs. Matt Morgan
Here's my attitude toward Bram: He is a decent hand inside the ring, and has an intense grasp on what it takes to be a "Sports Entertainer." I mean, he is the son-in-law of the 16-time World Champion "Nature Boy." My point is—I like Bram, a lot. I think he's got a ton of potential, but just like anyone else in the business, he can only go as far as Creative is willing to take him. The idea that cream will always rise to the top is a nice sentiment, but I'm not sure how realistic it is. Bram is a lot like Taz or Terry Taylor; his success will depend greatly on how he is booked, and who he works with. I'll tell you right now, I didn't give a shit about Bram versus Magnus �cause I think Magnus is pretty god damn terrible. Magnus isn't just a bad wrestler, he's boring as shit, and that directly impacts the people he's working with. Why wasn't Eric Young's title reign more memorable? Because he beat Magnus and not Kurt Angle. Not Bobby Lashley, not Bobby Roode, not Jeff Jarrett—MAGNUS! But we aren't talking about Magnus, we're talking about Bram; I've really enjoyed his "Legend Killer" gimmick in recent weeks; it's similar to Randy Orton back in 2005/2006, but specifically centers around TNA performers. He's wrestled the enormous Crimson, he's battled Big Van Vader, but tonight will be his greatest challenge. Tonight Bram will go head-to-head with former Ring Ka King World Heavyweight Champion Matt Morgan—and I think he's going to win.
Educated Guess: Bram
Tag Team Match
Ethan Carter III and Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson and Bobby Lashley
This is a spoiler-free zone, so I can't get too in depth with what I see coming for certain people such as Ethan Carter, or even Bobby Lashley. I think this will be a fun match, despite the overall disappointment that we won't be seeing Kurt Angle defend against Ethan Carter. But that'll be next week on Destination America. Mr. Anderson and Bobby Lashley are two professional wrestlers that I dare say have found greater success in TNA than in WWE. Can anybody argue with that? Yes—Bobby Lashley basically headlined Wrestlemania and worked an extended program with the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon. And Mr. KENNEDY was indeed a Money in the Bank winner who feuded with the Undertaker. But neither man ever held world championship gold until they set foot in TNA. Anderson has been at odds with EC3 announced his "candidacy" for TNA Champion earlier this year, and Bobby Lashley entered the fray when he worked EC3 on behalf of Kurt Angle two weeks ago. I believe Ethan Carter and Tyrus will win the match, giving EC3 a modicum of momentum as he prepares for what will be the biggest match of his career.
Educated Guess: Ethan Carter III and Tyrus
King of the Mountain Match for the Inaugural King of the Mountain Title
Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Hardy vs. Eric Young vs. Drew Galloway vs. Bobby Roode
When they announced the King of the Mountain Match, nobody was happy. Not me, not you, not Jeff Jarrett, not nobody—NOT NO HOW! Not nobody? The King of the Mountain was recently featured on my countdown of
CONFUSING CONTESTS
. I believe I began the segment by saying: "This match is literally worse than dog shit," referring to the fact that I found it dumber than the "Kennel from Hell." But think about the term "King of the Mountain" for a second—that's Jeff Jarrett. So when "J-E-Double F—HA HA! J-A-Double R—HA HA! E-Doublt T showed up on Impact, it made this concept damn nearly exciting! Nobody knew that the owner and founder of Global Force Wrestling would be on Impact this week, and they sure as shit didn't expect his wife to start balling her eyes out about how hard her husband works, and how she loathes TNA. I don't recommend TNA Impact a lot; I really loved the first couple of shows this year, and got a kick out of some of the overseas work they did, but other than that, it's been the same old boring Impact. But if you haven't seen the Jeff and Karen Jarrett promo, do yourself a favor and check it out on DailyMotion by clicking
HERE
. This is a tough match to predict—ER, I mean… make an EDUCATED GUESS for. On the one hand you have to assume Jeff didn't return just so he could lose, but how would handing a brand new title to an outsider work for the betterment of TNA and its roster? Maybe Jeff wins the title and holds onto it as an honorary championship from the company that he helped build? Maybe it's not a defendable belt, but a special honor like the King of the Ring? If it is a physical belt meant to be defended—won and lost—within the confines of TNA, then my money is on Eric Young. Bobby Roode is on the hunt for the tag titles; Drew Galloway is too new to TNA to be considered the "King of the Mountain"; and Matt Hardy sucks. So as far as I can tell, this is a battle between Eric Young and Jeff Jarrett.
Educated Guess: Jeff Jarrett
Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!
http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-tna-slammiversary-2015/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-32015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-32015/#comments Sun, 22 Mar 2015 03:17:41 +0000 Cassidy Haynes Other Reviews Reviews Angelina Love Austin Aries Awesome Kong BDC Beat Down Clan Bobby Lashley Bram Bro Mans Davey Richards DJ Z DJ Zema Earl Hebner Eddie Edwards Gail Kim Great Sanada Impact James Storm Jesse Godderz Kurt Angle Low Ki Magnus Manik Matt Hardy Rockstar Spud Samoa Joe Taryn Terrell Taz The Revolution The Wolves TNA wrestling Zema Ion http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=10580 Total Nonstop Analysis TNA Lockdown 3/20/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Long Beach, and the sun is just now starting to peak through the hazy daze of Southern California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm in a fantastic mood this weekend because I'm just a few […]
Total Nonstop Analysis
TNA Lockdown 3/20/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Long Beach, and the sun is just now starting to peak through the hazy daze of Southern California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm in a fantastic mood this weekend because I'm just a few hours away from launching the very first episode of my new podcast, "The B+ Players," right here at Cheap-Heat.com. I'm back with you once again to offer the most concise coverage of TNA Impact you're bound to find anywhere on the world wide web. This week's show wasn't as intense as its blood-spattered predecessor, but still kept me on the edge of my seat from the first segment through the main event.
The show opens with a video package describing Bobby Lashley's title defense against Kurt Angle as "the match you've all been waiting for." The action kicks off in the Wembley Arena for the second time in as many weeks with tag team competition. The Wolves make their way to ringside as they prepare to defend their tag team titles in a triple threat Ultimate X match with DJ Z and Jesse Goddard of the Bro Mans as well as Manik and Sanada of the Revolution. The Wolves are in control from the moment the bell sounds, and almost toss the Bro Mans to the side so that they may concentrate on the Revolution. The Great Sanada is on the receiving end of an enormity of offensive attacks via Richards and Edwards, as is Jesse Goddard who hopelessly tries to reenter the equation. The Wolves howl into the air and run off in an attempt to hit their patented double suicide dive, when Angelina Love climbs onto the apron and causes them to stop dead in their tracks. DJ Zema Ion tried to take advantage of the distraction but was launched over the top rope onto his own teammates by the Wolves. The Wolves maintained their edge until a drop kick courtesy of Jesse Goddard grounded Eddie Edwards, and gave both opposing teams the opening for success. Manik and Goddard worked in tandem to take down the tag team champions, until all four heels enjoyed a distinct advantage over Davey Richards. Goddard held Richards with his arms behind his back as Manik climbed the aerial ropes and worked his way to the title belts hanging above the ring. Goddard finally realized the error of his ways and unleashed another high-angle drop kick to Manik who was hanging above. DJ Z joins the action and the Bro Mans try to piggy back off one another to avoid climbing the ropes. DJ Z climbs onto Jesse's shoulders and reaches for the belts, but is soon met by Manik who is sitting on the shoulders of the Great Sanada. The game of chicken commences until the Wolves enter the fray and knock everybody down and out of the ring. The Wolves are back in control again as the audience begins to chant "this is awesome." DJ Z is still trying to climb the ropes but is sent headfirst into the steel structure surrounding the ring. Everybody is down once again, allowing Jesse Goddard and Sanada the opportunity to battle it out above the six-sided ring. They hammer one another into the steel structure in the corner until Sanada is able to blind Goddard with the trademark Muta mist. Sanada is inches away from reaching the belts, but is thwarted by Eddie Edwards who performs a top-rope hurricanrana, sending Sanada flying into the center of the ring. Davey Richards then capitalized with a double foot stomp to seal the deal. The Wolves climbed the cable from opposite ends and met in the middle where they retained their world tag team titles.
Austin Aries enters the arena with a microphone, but without his prestigious "Feast or Fired" briefcase. "For the last two weeks I've been out of commission because our good friends, the BDC, put me through a table." Austin tells the audienceone thing missing from TNA television has been the "world's greatest fans chanting for the world's greatest man that ever lived." He immediately gets down to brass tax: "I'm going to make this real short and simple; I want my property back and I'm not leaving this ring until I get it. So Low-Ki, Samoa Joe—you put me through a table? You stole my briefcase? I'm not going to come and jump you from behind, I'm going to stand in this ring like a man and tell you to come out here and bring me my briefcase back!" Ask and you shall receive, at least according to Taz. The BDC's music plays and Samoa Joe leads the deadly duo comprising both he and the X-Division Champion to the ring. Low-Ki carries the Halliburton briefcase and smiles at the former X-Division title holder who dares address the Beat Down Clan. "Austin," Ki began with a wide smile, "Let me get this straight: you believe that WE have something that belongs to you." Low-Ki held the briefcase up in the air, and Austin responded by saying it's not a belief, "it's a fact, jack." Low-Ki falls back on the ol' "possession is nine tenths of the law," excuse. "As long as the BDC has this, Austin Aries can't play his games of �will I, or won't I go after the world title.'" Austin had enough of the games being played and gave the Beat Down Clan two very good reasons why they should return his property. "One—you're not Austin Aries. You're not the man that makes history, you're not the man that cashes in opportunities for world championships." The crowd erupted. "Number two—you're not Austin Aries. Which means that briefcase legally has no value to you, because you can't do a damn thing with it. But I'll tell you what, I've got a way that we can remedy this. You see, I just came out for my briefcase—that I've earned. But you stole something else from me Low-Ki; you stole my X-Division championship. You and the BDC. So I've got a proposition for you, you're a gambling man? I say right here, right now: winner takes all. My briefcase for the world championship—my X Division Championship you STOLE ? Put your money where your mouth is, winner takes all. Right here, right now." The fans inside Wembley went wild as they waited for Low-Ki's reply. "Fair enough, Austin. But you simply don't deserve a shot at my X-Division title." Before the words could come out of Ki's mouth, Austin Aries was blindsided by the brutal Samoan Submission Machine. "But if you really want it that bad," Low-Ki continued, "You're just gonna have to go through Joe."
Away to commercial and once we return, the action is underway with Senior Official Earl Hebner calling the match. Joe is dominant from the early going as his peripheral attack on the former world champion earned him a decided advantage over Aries, who is unable to stand on his own two feet. Joe chops away at Aries with thunderous right arms, and continues with a corner-based striking frenzy, grounding Aries in the BDC corner. Low-Ki is walking around ring-side, in an attempt to scout the action as best he can. "Austin Aries" resonates throughout the arena, and the 2-time Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion gains his second wind and starts to take the fight to Joe. A leapfrog over the big man in the corner, and Aries is ready to start in on the offensive. He attempts his signature Brainbuster vertical suplex, but is unable to lift the 300+ pounder. Samoa Joe gains the upper hand and tosses Aries out of the ring and down to where Low-Ki can get involved. Ki runs his mouth from a few feet away, careful not to get his BDC bandmate disqualified in the process. Joe joins the two and mounts a diabolical assault on Aries with striking right elbows to the sensitive trapezius muscle of Austin Aries. Back inside the squared—or six-sided—circle, Austin tries to settle the score but is consistently caught off-guard by Samoa Joe. He locks Aries in a cross-face variation to wear him down and follows up with a full body attack and a brisk kick to the back of the head. Despite his heelish tendencies and BDC affiliation, Joe receives a warm reception from the United Kingdom crowd; "Joe is gonna kill you" echoes throughout the arena as the superheavyweight judoka continues with reckless abandon, managing to thwart each of Austin's offensive attempts. When Austin finally gained the upper hand, he mounted Samoa Joe in the corner and proceeded to deliver ten right hands as the crowd counted along. Joe tossed him over the top rope, but Aries landed on the apron. He hit Joe with a neck breaker, using the rope to his advantage, and capitalizing with a big drop kick. Once again, Austin Aries went for his Brainbuster vertical suplex, but was dragged down to the ground by the submission specialist, who proceeded to wrench down on the arm of Aries. In control once again, Samoa Joe lifted Aries onto the top rope and set to deliver his signature Muscle Buster. Austin Aries powered out and finally knocked Joe down to his back with a spear-like suicide dive to the outside. With Joe flat on his back, Austin Aries played to the audience, ready to wrap this up once and for all. But that's when Low-Ki became involved, striking Aries from the back, causing Earl Hebner to call for the bell. Both Beat Down Clan members brought Austin back into the ring and did just as their name would suggest—they beat him down. Samoa Joe held Austin Aries as Low-Ki prepared to strike with the solid steel briefcase. Aries then slipped out of Joe's grasp, causing Ki to hit Joe instead. Austin hit Low-Ki and requisitioned his briefcase, leaving the ring as both BDC members struggled to stand. While one number one contender was on his way out of the arena, another was just making his way down the aisle. Rockstar Spud—who is in possession of the X-Division briefcase—runs down to ringside as Low-Ki is still dazed from the effects of Austin's assault. His head is bandaged from the effects of last week's Hair vs. Hair match, but hands the briefcase to Earl Hebner nonetheless. The bell rings and Spud hits the "underdog" on Low-Ki; after a quick 1-2-3, Rockstar Spud is your NEW X-Division champion in less than 8 seconds.
Before anything else goes down inside the ring, camera's catch up to Bram and Magnus who are halfway into what seems to be a serious street fight in the parking garage. Magnus is in firm control as he beats Bram through a set of double doors asking, "Where you going?" Magnus puts Bram on a rolling equipment cart and sends him careening into a set of red and yellow garbage cans that look like giant ketchup and mustard containers. This is the first time since Bram attacked Magnus in New York City that the former world champion is able to get this much offense without worrying about any defense. Bram struggles to get away from Magnus, who is throwing heavy boxes of who-knows-what while dragging him through the darkened halls of Wembley Arena. Josh Matthews reminds us that Magnus promised to spill Bram's blood on the "hallowed grounds of London," and this could be his last chance as TNA is close to returning to America. Magnus knocks Bram through the curtain and into the arena; Bram trips and stumbles down the aisle toward the ring where Magnus goes absolutely crazy. Magnus leaves Bram between the six sides and grabs a steel chair from the ringside area. He returns to Bram and unleashes a fury of heinous shots to Bram's back. He turns his former best friend over and prepares to drill the business-end of the chair directly into Bram's sternum, but is stopped by referees Brian Stiffler and Brian Hebner. Magnus broke through the line of defense and clotheslined Bram, taking the microphone and warning, "You just took a match and burned your hopes and dreams to the ground!" More officials and members of security hit the ring and separated them further, until Magnus's wife Mickie James appeared and started attacking Bram as well. The referees kept both Mickie and Magnus at bay long enough for Bram to retreat up the ramp-way, but Magnus still wasn't finished. He followed behind Bram, stalking him like an animal, and delivered a crippling snap-power bomb to Bram on the crux of the entryway.
The TNA Knockouts are next with the title on the line. The first to appear under Impact's beautiful big screen "TNA-tron" is the former Knockout Champion Awesome Kong, who saunters to ringside to the beat of her menacing entrance tune. Gail Kim is the second to arrive, running down the aisle slapping hands with the UK crowd, wearing a black cut-off t-shirt that says "London." The TNA Knockouts Champion Taryn Terrell doesn't receive the same ovation as Gail Kim, but is most certainly favored over the depraved Kong. Both babyfaces set to work together and team against the monstrous Kong, who thwarts their advances with little-to-no effort of her own. Gail kicks Kong in the stomach, but Kong is quick enough to send the charging former champion speeding head first into the current title holder. Kong conquers them with an avalanche splash in the corner and capitalizes with a powerful sleeper hold slam. Neither Taryn nor Gail can gain any momentum as Awesome Kong continues to throw them around the ring by their hair, keeping them separated and thus unable to form a lasting alliance. Awesome Kong hits Gail Kim with a hard spike to the back, as Taryn Terrell ascends the ropes behind the Amazon's back. Taryn jumps but is clotheslined in mid-air by Awesome Kong, who then sets her sights on Kim once again. Kong lifted Gail Kim into the air for a powerbomb, but was stopped by Taryn who rolled them both up in a very innovative pin-attempt. Taryn hits the ropes and jumps from the second story onto Awesome Kong with a drop kick, sending Kong reeling back toward the center of the ring. Taryn hits the ropes one more time and jumps from the top with a cross body onto Kong, nearly earning a pinfall then and there. Awesome Kong came back with a quick burst of energy, but Taryn Terrell countered with a devastating Diamond Cutter. Kong vacated the ring in an attempt to regroup, and both Taryn and Gail sought to capitalize from the top rope. The two women tried to climb from the same corner and instead of focusing on Awesome Kong, Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell began mixing it up with one another. Taryn fell to the canvas, and Gail Kim flew to the floor, landing cross body on Kong and earning a raucous reception from the audience. Kim then hit Taryn with a sunset flip into a powerbomb out of the corner, but was unable to achieve victory. She shoved the sole of her shoe into Taryn's throat and attempted the "Eat Defeat," but was rolled up by the champion for a successful 1-2-3 combination. As Taryn stood tall in the ring with her belt in hand, she looked off into the distance at Awesome Kong, almost on the brink of tears and unware of what might await her next week.
The Revolution almost ended the career of Jeff Hardy in an instant when James Storm knocked him out on top of the steel cage at Lockdown, sending him plummeting to the steel steps below. Since then there's been more than bad blood between Jeff's brother Matt and the leader of the Revolution. Two weeks ago Bram went one-on-one with Matt Hardy and was asked by the Cowboy to "take him out." Hardy is still in service however, and about to go head-to-head with James Storm in a no holds barred match. Storm heads down the entryway with every member of the Revolution in tow—the odds will most certainly be in the Cowboy's favor this evening. Matt Hardy is happy to take the challenge and is cheered by the overwhelmingly positive response from the live audience. Storm meets Hardy halfway down the ramp and the match finally begins when Hardy rolls the Cowboy into the ring. Matt gets to work supplying their match by going deep under the ring and tossing an array of chairs and trash cans toward Storm. Manik grabs Hardy by the leg as he tries to enter the ring, which gives the Cowboy an opening to start things off in his favor. Hardy comes back with the trash can and he and Storm trade blows with the can and its lid. Hardy knocks James Storm flat on his back and exits the ring once more, climbing the ropes where he is tripped up by both the Great Sanada and Manik. James Storm readies two chairs in close proximity to one another and delivers a vertical suplex to Matt Hardy from the top rope and through the steel. Abyss is on the outside and raises his scarlet satin sack of thumbtacks—try saying that three times fast—and hands them to his �fearless' leader. The Cowboy litters the canvas with a line of golden tacks and attempts to plant Hardy directly in their path. Matt however has plans of his own and throws the Cowboy into the tacks instead, following up with a big elbow drop for a near-fall. The Revolution drags referee Brian Stiffler out of the ring before he can count three, and the match turns into a 5-on-1 assault. All of the Cowboy's allies equip themselves with weaponry; Khoya lifts a non-folding chair above his head, and Josh Matthews asks, "What kind of chair does Khoya have–?!" Funniest line of the night. Hardy retrieved the mysterious chair that Matthews was unfamiliar with and hit the Indian athlete in the back, leading Taz to exclaim, "Oh! That un-folding chair!" Matt did away with the distractions, finishing off Manik with a Twist of Fate, and reentered the ring hoping to end things with the Cowboy as well. Storm had Matt Hardy well scouted however and used his momentum to send him head-first into a steel chair propped in the corner. With both men reeling, it was anybody's match; Matt Hardy leaned over the top rope and for the second time tonight, the Muta mist came into play thanks to the Great Sanada. Hardy was blinded and tripped directly into Storm's Last Call Superkick. Matt Hardy was on spaghetti legs from the initial shot when the "Cowboy" sent him spilling over with a second—far more devastating superkick. James Storm and Revolution are victorious, but that's not enough as the sadistic Storm seeks to removed BOTH Hardy brothers from TNA Impact. They held Hardy by the arms on the lip of the apron, while James Storm berating him from behind: "Matt Hardy! I am the reason your brother is out of professional wrestling! And now you can visit your brother—in the hospital!" Storm swung his cowbell bull rope and struck Hardy in the small of the back in what amounted to a pretty anti-climactic end to an enjoyable match.
The theme of the entire night has been the TNA World Heavyweight Championship match between Kurt Angle and the current title holder, Bobby Lashley. The show has been filled with interviews, promos, vignettes, and all sorts of propaganda hyping this as a "dream match" in TNA. I'm not going to argue that because it's certainly going to be an interesting bout for the most prestigious prize on Impact. But a dream match—I'm not sure about that. Kurt Angle's music hits as he walks out of his dressing room in the back, just like Goldberg during the good old days of WCW. He walks briskly down the dark hall and through catering, arriving at the shadowy Gorilla position, where he waited for the beat to drop and the Trademarc lyrics to hit. The challenger makes his way down the ramp as Josh Matthews starts to recite each of Angle's accolades including but not limited to his success as an Olympian, as well as his run with the WWE. The beginning of Bobby Lashley's music begins to play on repeat just as Angle's did, skipping until the Destroyer is ready to enter the arena. He hits himself in the face and jumps in one spot—kind of like the current WWE World Champion—and finally makes his way through the curtain. According to Josh Matthews, this is Bobby Lashley's 72nd day as World Champion, which might not sound like much—but it's pretty long considering he won the belt during the reboot of Impact back in January. The bell rings and Jeremy Borash introduces the champion and challenger, and referee Brian Hebner allows both men the chance to check out what they're fighting for. A brief commercial break occurs before the match might get underway, and we return to the action just as the bell sounds. They circle one another and prepare to lock up, but back away for a moment until Lashley is the first to attack. He goes for Angle's leg and is unable to drop the Olympic Gold Medalist to the ground. They slink away from one another again, and Lashley comes back with a more calculated take-down, knocking Kurt off his feet, if only for a moment. The action doesn't truly get underway until either man is done feeling out his opponent. They enter into a mat-based amateur style that allows for Kurt to hit Bobby Lashley with four consecutive Suplexes. Lashley finds himself on the wrong side of the Ankle Lock, but gains leverage when he makes it to the ropes, forcing a break by Brian Hebner. Lashley begins retreating from the match, dropping in and out of the ring to catch his breath. Angle chases the champion and reaches him just in time to drop head first on the steel barricade. Lashley is in control now, and uses his power advantage over the venerable ring general. Lashley seems to be losing support from the crowd, and was even booed during his cowardly escape from Angle just a moment ago. He punishes Angle in the center of the ring with both a powerful Suplex and an unnerving bow and arrow submission, while the audience chants in favor of the challenger. Kurt starts to mount a comeback beginning with a leap from the middle rope, and this match turns into a donnybrook where left and right hands reign supreme. Another German suplex by the "Wrestling Machine"—and then another, and another. Kurt Angle is laying into Bobby Lashley the same as Brock Lesnar did to John Cena at Summerslam 2014. The straps come down and Kurt Angle means business when he prepares to apply the Ankle Lock. Lashley kicks him away and capitalizes with a running powerslam, but is unable to achieve victory. Another commercial break and once we return, Kurt Angle is in command and turning Bobby Lashley over by his ankle. They're separated by another rope break, and Lashley comes back with an attempted Spear. Kurt Angle hits Lashley in the face with a big boot and follows up with an Olympic Slam for a near three count on the champion. "This is awesome," is all anyone can hear as this match winds down to the final few moments. Bobby Lashley hits Kurt Angle with a sadistic Spear, and is shocked when the former champion answers the call before the three count. Bobby is out of ideas and resorts to the top rope—a place that he's considerably unfamiliar with. He jumps across the ring where nobody is home; Kurt Angle ascends the same ropes and hits the Destroyer with a cross body. Lashley used Angle's momentum to flip them both over and applied an Ankle Lock of his own, directly in the center of the ring. Angle screamed in pain, unable to reach the ropes as he struggled to find a way out. Finally he made it to the edge of the ring where Lashley was forced to relinquish the hold. Kurt hit Bobby with a surprising Olympic Slam for a 2-and-three quarters count. The Destroyer took advantage of the noticeably exhausted veteran Angle by applying a cross arm bar, using his legs for leverage. Angle summoned nothing but sheer power and determination to remove himself from hold, and once again locked the champion in his signature Ankle submission. The crowd went crazy, stomping the floor and shaking the camera as Kurt dropped to the ground and grapevined the champion's leg. Bobby cried in agony as he reached for the ropes, but was unable to find the same strength that Kurt did just a moment ago. Perhaps thinking of his MMA career, the Destroyer Bobby Lashley had no choice but to slap the mat in submission. Your winner and TNA World Heavyweight Champion for the sixth time—the only Olympic Gold Medalist in Professional Wrestling, Kurt Angle.
This was the second in a series of two very strong weeks for Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. Last week I stated—following the BLOODBATH between Carter and Spud—that I only hope Impact might be able to keep up its forward momentum. I'm not keen on Kurt Angle winning the world title, as I think there are far more deserving wrestlers on the roster that aren't 46-years old. But who can argue with Kurt's one-of-a-kind career? Next week's episode of Impact returns stateside and features the return of Jeff Hardy in a "revenge" match inside the six sides of steel with the Cowboy James Storm. Until then, this has been Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to keep checking out Cheap-Heat, follow me on Facebook by LIKING "The B+ Players," and be sure to look for my upcoming podcast by the same name.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-32015/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-7-bandits-of-the-bout/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-7-bandits-of-the-bout/#comments Tue, 17 Feb 2015 00:02:19 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Top Lists AJPW All-Japan Pro Wrestling America's Most Wanted AWA Barry Windham Bart Gunn Beer Money Billy Gunn Blackjack Lanza Blackjack Mulligan Bob Holly Bob Orton Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Bobby Duncum Jr. Bobby Roode Brawl for All Chris Harris Chris Jericho Cowboy Bob Orton Cowboy James Storm Curt Henning Dory Funk Dory Funk Jr. ECW GWF Henry Godwinn Hulk Hogan Jake Roberts James Storm JBL Jim Crockett Jimmy Wang Yang John Bradshaw Layfield John Layfield Lance Cade Master P New Blackjacks NWA Outlaw Ron Bass Paul Orndorff Phineas Godwinn Randy Savage Revolution Road Dogg Roddy Piper Ron Bass Sam Houston Shanghai Pierce Shawn Michaels Stan Hanson Steve Williams Sunny Ted DiBiase Terry Funk Tex Slazenger The Blackjacks The Godfather The Smoking Gunns TNA Trevor Murdoch Vader Vince McMahon WCCW WCW West Texas Rednecks Wrestlemania WWC WWE WWF WWWF http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9750 Lucky Thirteen #7 Bandits of the Bout Written by Mark Adam Haggerty When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it to the next level and give you the Lucky Thirteen. Why? Because we're Cheap-Heat and we believe in kicking things up to the extreme! Today we’re talking about Bandits and Outlaws, otherwise […]
Lucky Thirteen #7
Bandits of the Bout
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it to the next level and give you the Lucky Thirteen. Why? Because we're Cheap-Heat and we believe in kicking things up to the extreme! Today we’re talking about Bandits and Outlaws, otherwise known around these here parts as Cowboys. Since the dawning of the age of Sports Entertainment, professional wrestling has featured an enormity of wrestling roughnecks who would appear just as comfortable on the back of a horse than they would inside of the squared circle. Let's start things off with one of the most modern members of our countdown and a graduate of the Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy…
13. Lance Cade
Lance Cade was a superior talent who first happened upon the professional wrestling scene in Japan alongside fellow Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy classmate Bryan Danielson. Cade had developed a penchant for tag team wrestling and in 2005 was called to the main roster in the midst of the "Ruthless Aggression Era." Originally sporting a cowboy hat and leather chaps, he was saddled with the equally talented and deceptively athletic Trevor Murdoch. Together these rugged ruffians captured the world tag team titles on three separate occasions. While Murdoch was depicted as a chaw-chewing Redneck, Lance Cade was cast as the smooth-talking cowboy with devilish good looks. The character carried him farther than he would have imagined into his singles career, eventually aligning with then-heavyweight champion Chris Jericho in 2008. Sadly on August 13, 2010, Lance Cade died at the age of 29 due to heart failure. Two months later medical examiners declared Lance "Cade" McNaught's death accidental, an apparent reaction to the mix of prescription drugs he'd been taking. Although his career was cut tragically short, "Cowboy" Lance Cade will never be forgotten and was even honored in 2011 by a local tribute show in his adopted hometown of San Antonio.
12. Tex Slazenger & Shanghai Pierce
Don't go messing with the country boys, because these two future Godwinn Cousins are far more dangerous than Phineas and Henry would ever prove to be. Well, in theory that is. While they're more familiar to most fans as the former WWF tag team champions, these hard-edged hillbillies got their first taste of fame wrestling as the fearsome Tex Slazenger and the mysterious Shanghai Pierce. Tex was a rootin' tootin' Texas roughneck complete with a ten gallon hat and all the appropriate accoutrement you'd associate with any accurate cowboy costume. Shanghai was a bit different as he opted to sport a luchador mask with a singlet—uh, not so much a cowboy, but definitely intimidating in its own way. Although they never captured championship gold under their southwestern pseudonyms in WCW, Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce were also never adorned with the prestige of "Worst Tag Team in Wrestling"—an honor they received from Pro Wrestling Illustrated in 1996. And then again in 1997.
11. Jimmy Wang Yang
Perhaps the most charismatic individual on our countdown comes in at number eleven. Not only is he one of the youngest Superstars on the list, he's more than likely the only
Korean Cowboy
in wrestling history. Jimmy Yang was a skilled performer in the dying days of WCW and a key component in its highly inventive Cruiserweight Tag Division. After spending time on the independent circuit and in the WWE playing minor roles, Yang was brought in as a member of the main roster with "Wang" inserted between his first and last name. However instead of playing the Young Dragon whom audiences had already come to know, the WWE was going to draw upon Yang's affinity for country music and NASCAR in order to create an all new type of Superstar. Needless to say 2006 wasn't the most progressive year for the WWE, and a white-trash Korean character was probably just as suitable as The Wrestling Zombie or Paul and Katie Lea Burchill's incest angle. Despite never winning a championship title during his WWE run, Jimmy Wang Yang will always be remembered as one of the most iconic and
original
cowboys in pro wrestling history.
10. Bobby Duncum Jr.
Bobby Duncum Jr. was a refined second generation wrestling superstar who struggled to make his name after the decline of the territory system. Debuting in 1992, Duncum initially worked as a tag team competitor with the Global Wrestling Federation in Dallas, Texas. Two months into his debut, Bobby Duncum Jr. won his only championship
ever
—the GWF tag team titles alongside future WWE Champion and Monday Night Raw commentator Johnny "Hawk" Layfield. Although he worked around the world for countless promotions including ECW and All Japan Pro Wrestling, Bobby Duncum Jr. was most famous for his time in WCW as part of the "West Texas Rednecks." Joined by Kendall and Barry Windham, in addition to their leader Curt Hennig, the �Rednecks ran rough-shod over the WCW for a short period in the late 90s, claiming that "Rap is Crap," and entering into a rivalry with hip-hop recording artist Master P. In January of 2000, Duncum was recovering from reconstructive rotator cuff surgery, and accidentally overdosed on a cocktail of pain killers. He was 34 years old, and less than eight years into his career.
9. Sam Houston
The name "Sam Houston" tends to elicit both passion and pride from Texas natives, but unfortunately for Michael Smith, it's not the WWF cowboy whom they happen to admire. Sam Houston was the son of "Grizzly" Smith, and half-brother to both Jake "the Snake" Roberts and "Rockin" Robin. Houston was a well-known enhancement talent throughout the 1980s and 90s, working for Jim Crockett Promotions before finally breaking through to the World Wrestling Federation. He participated in several television matches which usually resulted in his shoulders being pinned to the mat, but even Sam Houston had a "Wrestlemania Moment," when he competed in the 20-man battle royal at Wrestlemania IV. Houston was also in the very first Royal Rumble match with his brother Jake, and though the audience wasn't privy to their relationship, Houston helped save the "Snake" from elimination on a number of occasions. In 2005, Sam Houston was sentenced to ten years in prison for repeated DUI offenses; according to his ex-wife, Houston had an average of 2 DUI-related arrests per year over the previous decade.
8. The Smoking Gunns
You can't say, "wrestling cowboy" to a �90's kid and expect him to think of anything other than The Smoking Gunns. Billy and Bart were a redesigned cowboy for a post-modern, pre-millennial world. They wore spandex made to look like skinny jeans and carried starter pistols which they shot into the air during their entrance. Wrestling cowboys were oftentimes out-of-shape and angry, swinging a cowbell with little regard for the surrounding audience members. But the Kayfabe brothers were different, smiling and shaking hands on their way to the ring and sporting far less menacing facial features than some of the more rugged individuals on our countdown. The �Gunns would become tag team champions on three separate occasions, owing their final title reign to their short-lived manager Sunny, eventually breaking up and going their separate ways. While Billy Gunn's career skyrocketed alongside the Road Dogg and Degeneration X, Bart Gunn stayed true to his roughneck roots, engaging in the highly dangerous, experimental "Brawl for All" shoot-fighting tournament in 1998. After defeating four other Superstars including Bob Holly, Steve Williams, the Godfather, and John Layfield, the last man standing was none other than Bart Gunn.
7. “Outlaw” Ron Bass
While a great deal of wrestling cowboys have been based out of the "Lone Star State," Ron Bass was one such individual proud of his roots in Harrisburg, Arkansas. The "Outlaw," as he would come to be known, was a ruthless heel during the late 1980s in the World Wrestling Federation. Prior to his would-be rivalries with the likes of Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake, Ron Bass enjoyed a steady career touring the vast NWA territory system of the 1970s. He spent time with Jim Crockett as well as several years in Japan, but was most famous for his time in the WWF. In 1988, Ron Bass fought to the end of the King of the Ring tournament, and qualified for the finals by defeating future WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels. However the "Outlaw" would not advance to the main event against Randy Savage—instead choosing to
"sell"
his victory to the "Million Dollar Man," who would lose to Savage later that night. After nearly 20-years in the squared-circle, Ron Bass retired in 1991 and currently resides in Tampa, Florida.
6. The Funk Family
If I can include a tag team as one entry, then how about an entire family? Even though Dory Funk Sr. was born in Indiana, he will forever be known as the Patriarch of the "Double Cross Ranch" in Amarillo, Texas. After serving in the United States Navy, Funk Sr. began wrestling in Texas and would become a promotor in the Amarillo region where both his sons Dory Jr. and Terry would thrive as superstars. Dory Jr. was regarded as a master in-ring technician, famous for created the "Texas Cloverleaf" finishing hold. His younger brother Terry was the "wild child," much more akin to the cowboy lifestyle of the Amarillo Ranch. The Funk Brothers would make history, by becoming the
only
brothers in wrestling to each hold the NWA world heavyweight championship. In 2009, Dory and Terry were both honored as they were simultaneously inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Both brothers are still active in the wrestling industry; Dory Funk is the proprietor of the "Funkin' Conservatory" wrestling school in Amarillo, while Terry Funk is well beyond "middle-aged-and-crazy," as he still steps into the ring today at 70.
5. “Cowboy” James Storm
The only cowboy on our countdown that is
still
currently active inside a televised American wrestling ring is the 13-time tag team champion and former TNA world heavyweight champion, the "Cowboy" James Storm. Storm debuted in 1997 working for various NWA affiliates and the World Wrestling Council in Puerto Rico. After the collapse of WCW, the National Wrestling Alliance sought to fill a void by creating a weekly-PPV series known as Total Nonstop Action. James Storm signed with TNA in 2002 after working an impressive string of matches with then-tag partner "Wildcat" Chris Harris. Over the next four years, the duo known as "America's Most Wanted" would capture the NWA tag titles on six separate occasions. After spending a year on his own, Storm would once again "saddle up" with a partner—this time the "It Factor" Bobby Roode. Storm and Roode came to be called "Beer Money," based on either gentleman's Kayfabe affinity. Today James Storm is the leader of the cult-like "Revolution," and has therefore traded the cowboy hat for a veil of secrecy, and his beer bottle for a solo cup of "Kool-aid."
4. “Cowboy” Bob Orton
Fans of the modern WWE product who are familiar with the "Legend Killer," ought to know that Randy Orton comes from a long-line of wrestling royalty, including his father—"Cowboy" Bob Orton. Bob Orton was a main event attraction around the country during the 1980s but would become world-famous during the Rock �N' Wrestling Connection. Orton was fast friends with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, so it was no surprise when the second generation star known as "Ace" was in "Hot Rod's" corner at the inaugural Wrestlemania in Madison Square Garden. Bob Orton was a key component during the period of time in which wrestling truly became "Sports Entertainment," providing back-up during several renditions of Piper's Pit. Although never achieving a championship during his time with the WWF, "Ace" held numerous titles across various territories in the United States and was named "Rookie of the Year" by PWI in 1973. In 2005, "Cowboy" Bob Orton was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame alongside fellow Wrestlemania pioneers Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, and Paul Orndorff.
3. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Since 2004, JBL has been known as an arrogant aristocrat, riding to the ring in his limousine and winning his bouts by any means necessary. But John Layfield began just the same as many other Texas wrestlers, working for the Global Wrestling Federation in Dallas. He won the tag team titles in 1992 alongside Bobby Duncum Jr., and spent the next three years earning a wrestling education on the independent and international circuits. Layfield debuted for the WWF in 1995 as Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, a badass brandishing a branding-iron who set to "stamping" each of his conquered opponents. In 1997, "Hawk" joined second-generation Superstar Barry Windham to form the "New Blackjacks," a team drawing on their real-life familial connections to the original "Blackjacks" Mulligan and Lanza. The "Bradshaw" character would continue to evolve over the next several years and although he's primarily known today as a talking head for both the WWE and Fox Business, John Layfield is a Grand Slam winning champion, making him
THE
most decorated cowboy on this entire countdown.
2. The Blackjacks
Transitioning away from the
"New Blackjacks,"
it's about time we discuss the genuine article—the tag team of Blackjack Lanza and Blackjack Mulligan. The tall, dark duo clad in black leather were amongst the most feared tag teams of the 1970s, earning their reputation by standing tall atop numerous fallen combatants. The Blackjacks were an AWA attraction, managed by the incomparable Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, and also competed in Texas for Fritz Von Erich's World Class Championship Wrestling. The Blackjacks eventually made their way to New York where they would continue their reign of terror against a brand new roster of unsuspecting victims. While working for Vince McMahon, the Blackjacks aligned themselves with Captain Lou Albano, who helped guide the already world-renowned wrestlers to the WWWF tag team championships. Of course then in 1997, a "tribute" team was created, comprised of Mulligan's son Barry Windham and Lanza's nephew John Layfield. The Blackjacks were inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006; Blackjack Lanza currently works as a producer for the WWE, while Blackjack Mulligan has
two
grandsons working on the main roster—Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt.
1. Stan “The Lariat” Hansen
Stan "the Lariat" Hansen is a performer whose mythos goes beyond the realm of cowboys and Indians, and further transcends the atmosphere of professional wrestling entirely. When the sport of sports entertainment was outwardly declared "fake," Stan Hansen lit the international scene on fire with his brand of explicit violence and a charismatic streak that ignited something inside fans across the globe. Stan Hansen was the AWA World Heavyweight champion and even competed for the WWF before earning his
true
place in history, across the Pacific in the "Land of the Rising Sun." During an infamous encounter with future WCW champion Vader, Hansen managed to clip Leon White with his cowbell, dislodging his eyeball and forcing the "Mastodon" to compete with his eye ajar inside his mask. Although claiming to be from Borger City, Texas—with a "big fat wife and a bunch of kids," the mild-mannered Hansen is actually a resident of Knox City, and has
two
sons, each of whom is a nationally-recognized baseball player. During his active wrestling days, Stan Hansen garnered a reputation for his no-nonsense approach to business, both inside the ring and backstage with promotors. Since retiring from the squared-circle in 2001, the "Lariat" has made numerous appearances in Japan, where he still receives the same standing ovation he did during his peak in 1981.
Thank you for joining me for this SEVENTH edition of the "Lucky Thirteen." Do yourself a favor and bookmark Cheap-Heat on your computer and in your mobile device so you don’t miss any of our countdowns, columns or coverage. As for me—I think it's about time for this Old Cowpoke to hit that there dusty trail. So until next time, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this has been "Lucky Thirteen: Bandits of the Bout."
http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-7-bandits-of-the-bout/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-21315/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-21315/#comments Sun, 15 Feb 2015 17:53:24 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews Al Snow Austin Aries Awesome Kong BDC Beat Down Clan Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode Bram Crazy Steve Davey Richards Dixie Carter EC3 Eddie Edwards Eric Young Ethan Carter III Grado Gunner Impact James Storm Jeff Hardy Josh Mathews Ken Anderson Kenny King Kurt Angle Low Ki Madison Rayne Magnus Mark Andrews Matt Hardy Mr. Anderson MVP Rockstar Spud Taz Team Angle The American Wolves The Revolution The Wolves TNA Total Nonstop Action Tyrus wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9720 Total Nonstop Analysis TNA Lockdown 2/13/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Welcome to another exciting column chronicling the carnage taking place on a weekly basis inside the six-sided ring. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, with you as always to discuss what went down on this week’s episode of TNA Impact. The events of Lockdown […]
Total Nonstop Analysis
TNA Lockdown 2/13/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
Welcome to another exciting column chronicling the carnage taking place on a weekly basis inside the six-sided ring. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, with you as always to discuss what went down on this week’s episode of TNA Impact. The events of Lockdown are still fresh in the minds of the fans, as well as the Beat Down Clan who suffered a momentous loss at the hands of Team Angle and the TNA world heavyweight champion Bobby Lashley. Impact has been running the Manhattan Center since its reboot earlier this year but this week the men and women of TNA have sold out the Hydro Arena in Glasgow, Scotland. What might we expect out of a highly volatile locker room and what is in store for the current champion as a number one contender is soon to be named? Another awesome two-hours of action courtesy of Impact Wrestling and Destination America, but don’t take my word for it. Let’s break down the good and bad in this week’s edition of “Total Nonstop Analysis.”
The show opens on MVP and the members of the Beat Down Clan exiting a chauffeured minivan outside of the arena. They stand in a circle, wearing identical black and red tracksuits, and MVP explains that they're going to forget about last week because it didn't matter. Samoa Joe chimes in by telling his comrades that "those cats" on Team Angle took out a debt that the BDC is ready to collect. The Hydro is sold out with hundreds—if not THOUSANDS of fans on their feet as Impact is ready to go live—well, as live as Impact ever is. The entrance way is much more elaborate than the past month's set of shows at the Manhattan Center, complete with an enormous video screen belonging to the arena, the size of which would rival the Titantron. Kurt Angle's music is the first to play and the first-ever TNA champion is met with a standing ovation from the Scottish fans. He tells them that the Beat Down Clan wants to control the world title belt, but as far as Kurt is concerned, the best wrestler in the world should be the man to control the TNA championship. The 13-time world heavyweight champion asks Bobby Lashley to join him inside the ring so that they can debrief after last week's battle with the BDC.
Bobby Lashley is happy to enter the six-sided ring across from Kurt, and proceeds to shake hands with the man who helped him defeat Montel Vontavious Porter at Lockdown. Lashley is proud to work alongside an athlete as renowned as Kurt Angle but warned the former champion that he didn't join his team to help him, he did it to protect his title and get his hands on "that dirty piece of trash MVP." Kurt laughs because just the same as Bobby, he too had an ulterior motive behind forming an alliance. "You think I really invited you down here so that I could thank you," Kurt asks arrogantly? "No. It is now time for Kurt Angle to be the TNA champion again.” As Angle prepared to issue his challenge, the familiar music of the BDC played and the entire group appeared on the stage. MVP argued that since Lashley was not sanctioned in last week's match, he never actually earned the pinfall, therefore the match didn't count and Team Angle didn't win. He goes on to spout the same rhetoric as weeks past, arguing that the TNA title belongs to the BDC, and asks whom of Angle or Lashley would like to have his ass kicked first. Lashley is of course in no way afraid of MVP and tells the BDC that he'll fight any two of them in a tag team match tonight with Kurt Angle as his partner. Angle accepts, and the BDC retreats to form a strategy going in to tonight's main event.
Back from the break and Bobby Roode is in the backstage area getting ready for his matchup with Austin Aries. "A-Double" turns the corner with his "Feast of Fired" briefcase and the two babyfaces set-to-square-off exchange pleasantries and words of respect. Bobby Roode mentions the history between he and Aries, specifically in the United Kingdom, where more than once they've stood side by side as team mates. "But tonight's not about being on the same side," said Roode, "Good luck." Austin stood back as Roode walked off into the Gorilla position, held his briefcase high and said, "Right back at you."
Ethan Carter III and Tyrus are also on hand to challenge the threesome of Rockstar Spud, Mark Andrews, and announcer Jeremy Borash to a 3-on-2 handicap tag match later in the night. EC3 says that patience is not a virtue which he possesses and wants to shave someone's head TONIGHT. “I get what I want and what I want," he said, "What I want? What I WANT is to shave Rockstar Spud’s head! I want to scalp him! I want to scalp him good.” Carter's plans were thwarted last week when Jeremy Borash unplugged the electric clippers as Carter prepared to "scalp" Mark Andrews, which is why EC3 wants Borash inside the ring tonight on Impact.
Austin Aries and Bobby Roode are set to go one-on-one in what will become the match of the night. Both individuals respect one another and begin their altercation on the best of terms. For most of the first half of the match, the action is akin to a see-saw with a series of string wrestling maneuvers, arm drags and innovative submissions. Both former champions attempt to utilize their signature holds as early on as two minutes into the bout, but are oftentimes thwarted by an opponent who knows the other all too well. Back and forth until the action spills onto the outside, where instead of capitalizing on an obvious advantage, Austin Aries tossed Roode back into the ring where the match would continue. An aerial offensive move gone wrong resulted in Bobby Roode dropkicking an air-bound Aries, evening the odds for the "It Factor." The contest slowed by this point, and each wrestler was afforded a moment of breathing time amidst a chain of rest holds. Roode set Aries up for his patented Roode Bomb but was countered into the corner where Roode again reversed the situation into an attempted suplex. Aries reversed Roode's offense and sent him flying into the center of the ring, capitalizing with a picture-perfect Missile Dropkick. Each competitor could feel the pace of the match quicken, as could the audience in Glasgow and around the world. Bobby Roode made one last ditch effort and locked Austin Aries into a textbook Cross-face submission hold. Within a matter of seconds, Aries tapped and Bobby Roode had his hand raised. After the bell rang Bobby acquired a microphone and told the fans inside the Hydro, "Now that is pro wrestling. And you Austin Aries, are one of the greatest professional wrestlers I've ever had the chance to share this ring with." After Aries left the ringside area, Roode once again addressed the current title situation. He spoke into the camera but was talking directly to Bobby Lashley: "You know that Roode/Lashley III never happened and I deserve a rematch." That's when Eric Young appeared out of the audience and attacked Bobby Roode, drilling him hard into the canvas with a spike piledriver, and spitting on his fallen body. Security and referees helped the "It Factor" back to the locker room, but not before EY could once again interrupt, delivering another piledriver, this time on the concrete floor.
Back from the commercial and who do we see in the ring but Al Snow! While Americans might get a kick out of this living legend appearing on our TV screens, the fans on the "other side of the pond," know Al Snow as the relentless trainer on "British Bootcamp" who belittles their national wrestling heroes on a weekly basis. He reminds me of Terry Funk back in the mid-to-late 90s when he was past his prime but certainly still capable of providing one hell of a show. He talks about working in the ring, and about how proud he is to be a trainer. "You can't do what I do," he tells the fans. "You know how I know that? Because you're sitting out there and I'm standing in here." He explains his recent run in with Scotland's own independent sensation Grado, telling us that he doesn't think the young man has what it takes to be a professional wrestler and insists that he gives it up. Al Snow tells Grado and the audience in Glasgow that he'll be happy to let him off the hook if he just quits the business, otherwise Snow is set to teach him a lesson next week on Impact. Grado comes out and I'm not sure if it's a cultural barrier I'm stuck behind, but I can't see the upside to this pudgy, blonde butterball. He's got the dumbest tattoos and wears a run-of-the-mill singlet that might as well say "Generic" across the back. Al Snow continued to berate the young independent wrestler until he had enough. “Shut your mouth," he said with an accent I could barely understand but loved nonetheless. "I don’t think you understand just where you are! You’re right here in Glasgow! And we don’t take any crap!” Snow forcefully took the mic away and said he doesn’t care what they take . “Your family’s here aren’t they?" Snow hopped through the ropes and strolled over to a fiery middle aged bird wearing a black t-shirt that said, "Am Grados Maw!" Snow gets in her face and tells her that she should be embarrassed for having a son such as Grado—and that she needs to tell him to walk away. Not another word out of his mouth and "Maw Grado" slapped Snow several times, leading him to get defensive which sent Grado spiraling into a protective rage in honor of his mother. Al Snow escaped Grado's wrath, and stumbled up to the stage screaming, “You want me? You got me! You beat me and I’ll shake your hand!” Regardless of what I might think of Grado and his mom appearance-wise , the UK fans are some of the brightest on the planet and if they believe in this guy, I'm ready to give him a chance.
Two weeks ago Bram and Magnus met in a New York City pub where they discussed the results of "Feast or Fired." Before they had their brawl in the bowels of the building, Magnus joked, "You're my partner, who else am I going to pick? Crazy Steve?" Well—this week it's Bram versus Crazy Steve! Before the match can get underway, we get a ton of exposition courtesy of Taz and Josh Matthews, inside their "safe-room" far away in TNA's world headquarters. I wouldn't usually reference this, except to say they need to be at ringside, or at least pretend they're at ringside. But this week I brought it up because as the cameras switched over to their studio, Taz was standing behind his chair instead of sitting next to Josh. It was just very strange; I'd like the cameras to switch over once and have them eating Chinese food. Or playing cards. The match between Bram and Crazy Steve is in no way meant to help elevate the "Modern-Day Doink." Instead, Bram uses this exhibition as a platform to challenge his former best friend Magnus to a fight. He starts to squash Steve early on but descends the steel steps to acquire a microphone. He beckons his fellow Brit to show his face, all the while continuing to kick Crazy Steve down into the mat. He did this for a few moments until putting the clown away with an Impaler DDT. He left the ring by once again challenging Magnus, saying, "Find me, Magnus!" What's sad is that this was most likely recorded before Bray Wyatt asked the Undertaker to find him , but the current TV schedule once again keeps TNA from getting the upper hand on progressive storytelling.
Mark Andrews and Rockstar Spud are both backstage talking Jeremy Borash into the handicap tag match with EC3 and Tyrus. "I'm not so sure I want to get beat up again," Borash says, to which Spud insists he has some sort of back up. "Back up?" "Yes back up. It's a British thing, Mark gets it."
In another corner of the locker room Kurt Angle is sitting by himself getting ready for his main match against the BDC. Gunner, who was a member of Team Angle at Lockdown, sits down with the Gold Medalist and thanks him for what he did last week. He appreciates Kurt for waking him up and believing in him even though he wasn’t at 100%. "We both want the same thing," said Gunner, "We both want the world title. But Kurt, do you think teaming with Lashley is really such a good idea?" Kurt thanked Gunner for his support, but said, “Lashley and I? We’re gonna fight one day. It’s gonna be sooner than later and I want him at his best. Because I’m going to beat him for that world title.”
It's time for the handicap tag match and Ethan Carter is on his way to the ring, flanked by his personal security guard Tyrus. Carter disrobes to reveal a protective sleeve on his left arm. Josh Matthews tells the audience at home that Carter explicitly instructed him
not
to acknowledge the sleeve during commentary. The match is incredibly one-sided and follows the same basic pattern from bell-to-bell. Tyrus demolished both Mandrews and Spud, allowing EC3 the opportunity to tag in and take advantage. Once the action got heavy, Carter would tag out and wait for Tyrus to get things under control once more. When Jeremy Borash tagged in however, Carter wasted no time in entering the match against the everyday ring announcer. Back and forth, Carter and Tyrus traded places in the match against an exhausted trio of undersized competitors. But just as hope seemed all but lost, the most unlikely candidate volunteered to take to the skies—Jeremy Borash flew from the top rope to the outside, achieving incredibly hang time as he crash landed down onto Tyrus. It was at this moment though that Carter was able capitalize on the understandable distraction, turning it into a "One Percenter" inverted DDT on Spud. Learning from his mistakes, Ethan Carter and Tyrus are now in possession of
wireless
clippers, ready to shave the lovely locks of Rockstar Spud. Carter trapped Spud in a camel clutch and slowly edged the vibrating blade closer to Spud's hair—when the lights went out! They returned and Ken Anderson stood between Carter and Tyrus, jokingly pretending to be on their team and then blindsiding them with a combination of low-blows and eye-gauges.
Gunner is speaking with a camera man about how close he was to winning the TNA world title this time last year, but predicts victory going into next week's 20-man gauntlet to decide the number one contender. He says he's not worried about the BDC, but if they get in his way he'll deal with them. Kenny King walks into camera-view with a smirk. "The BDC—everyone is saying our names," exclaimed Kenny. "You know we're like Candy Man, right? You keep saying our name and we're going to show up." With that, Gunner was under attack, the victim of a double team assault thanks to Kenny King and the X Division Champion Low-Ki. They stomped him into the cold, hard floor and walked away gloating: "Come on Gunner! No bullets soldier! No bullets!"
I really hate Madison Rayne's music, but being that I've spent more than enough time on that in previous articles, I'll instead move along to discuss why she's making her way to the ring. Madison says that she's only there to make one thing abundantly clear: "I am one title win away from being the most decorated TNA Knockout—EVER." As she spoke, a glitch in the audio equipment sent a dose of unwanted reverb across the Hydro Arena. "Okay that was kind of rude," Madison said, continuing to boast her personal value until once again being interrupted by a "musical mishap." She yelled at referee Earl Hebner, and insisted that the audio engineer do something. Once again the building was rocked with an unknown sound, this time evolving into the full score of Awesome Kong's theme music. The former TNA Knockout champion strutted with swag as she stared daggers through Madison Rayne, standing in the ring almost shaking with fear. Outside of the cage match between Havok and Kong at Lockdown, this might be the first singles match the Knockouts have had since TNA rebooted in January. I anticipated this match being far less one-sided than it was and hoped to see more rule-breaking out of Rayne. But within two minutes the bout had concluded as Kong conquered Madison Rayne with her dreaded finishing maneuver, the Implant Buster.
Backstage Austin Aries is relaxing until Kurt Angle informs him that he’s in his seat. Although Aries says he doesn’t see his name on it, he decides to get up instead of engaging in a fight over a chair. Kurt attempted to provoke Aries after his loss earlier in the evening: “I heard you tapped out to Bobby Roode.” But A-Double wasn't going to let the words of a 46-year old man get the better of him, as he quickly responded, “Yeah I tapped out to Bobby Roode, it’s called live to fight another day.” He stood up from his new seat, "And I can't do that with one arm."
The fans are again out of control for one-half of one of the most decorated teams in wrestling history; Matt Hardy is on hand to give the world an update as to the condition of his brother, Jeff. “Man it is great to be back in Scotland. I missed you guys!" Matt was clearly excited to see so many screaming fans but his demeanor soon shifted to one of sadness. "But I really wish my brother Jeff could be here to share this extraordinary evening with me.” For fans that aren't aware, Jeff's long history of substance abuse and trouble with the law has hindered his ability to travel abroad, therefore he is unable to appear before some of the most-lively wrestling crowds in the world. Matt tells the audience that no matter what Jeff has been through before, he's always managed to give a "thumbs-up" to let Matt know that he's okay. "But last week I didn't get a thumbs up. That's the first time I ever saw a broken Jeff Hardy," Matt continued, "Congratulations James Storm! You were able to do what no other wrestler on this Earth has been able to do!” As emotion ran wild inside of Matt Hardy, the familiar whistle of the "Cowboy's" music echoed across the arena, and the Revolution arrived in the Hydro. James Storm led his stable to ringside, wearing a really stylish vest featuring a woman salivating on the back. Storm then gave what was undoubtedly the promo of the evening, agreeing with Matt that he did the impossible: "I did what Edge and Christian couldn't do! I did what Team 3D couldn't do! I did what Bobby Lashley couldn't do," Storm named a handful of industry icons, "Hell, even the UNDERTAKER couldn't do what I did. I cut down Jeff Hardy!" James Storm leaned in to Matt Hardy, and gave him the option of ending this peacefully. But the "Cowboy" warned the Carolina-native that if he should engage the Revolution, they wouldn't hesitate to put him in a bed next to his brother in the hospital. It didn't take long before "Version 1.0" chose the "road less-traveled," sarcastically telling Storm that his brother has a nice hospital bed, before letting off a series of rights and lefts. Hardy's offense would be short lived however as the entire Revolution teamed up to save their leader, with Manik subduing Hardy on the canvas with a Fujiwara Arm Bar. The punishment wasn't through, but before the Revolution could take it to the next level, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards arrived to save the day. The American Wolves—or �Wolves as they're known in TNA, showed up just in time to chase the heelish tag team champions and the rest of the Revolution away.
Just before the main event, a producer asked Austin Aries if he had a time table established for when he wanted to cash-in on his contract. Aries had no intention of sharing such private information, and instead told him it’s going to be "somewhere in between half past a monkey’s ass and a quarter to his little monkey balls." The smile soon faded and Austin Aries was done playing games relating to the TNA world title: “The only timeframe I’m concerned with is my timeframe.” Once again Kenny King appeared to distract Aries as Low Ki advanced from behind. Unlike Gunner however, Austin had no trouble in fighting the duo until the numbers increased and all four members of the Beat Down Clan kicked Aries and his briefcase out of the building.
The main event pitting Kurt Angle and Bobby Lashley against the Beat Down Clan begins as the Olympian Kurt Angle makes his way to ringside, joined by the "Destroyer" and TNA world heavyweight champion Bobby Lashley. The �Clan comes out as a group per usual, but it becomes clear that MVP and Samoa Joe will be doing the heavy lifting during tonight's contest. Both Low-Ki and Kenny King stand at ringside, once again shifting the advantage toward the BDC. MVP and Samoa Joe maintain control throughout the majority of the first part of the match as announcers speculate that Austin Aries will not be making an appearance because the Beat Down Clan "threw him out the door of the arena." I find that sort of strange as it was clearly snowing in Scotland and he's a world-famous athlete who's schedule to be in the building. I'm pretty certain if he had to get back inside he could find a way. But that's breaking Kayfabe, and that's not what I'm here to do. The BDC used the strength in their numbers to run roughshod over the champion and Kurt Angle for a long period of time, every now and then met with resistance, but not having any real trouble in managing match. Angle and Lashley rope-a-doped their opponents into a dizzying haze until the bout began to go back-and-forth with both teams earning considerable offense until all four men were inside the ring. The champion, obviously no stranger to success, saw victory in his sights and prepared to Spear Samoa Joe. He positioned himself, but stopped midway as Kurt Angle dragged Joe to the mat with the Ankle Lock submission. The divide between the two created a rift so catastrophic that MVP was able to take advantage, earning the pinfall on Lashley with a roll-up and a handful of tights. Now having suffered a loss, the two stood toe-to-toe inside the six-sided ring. Just as Kurt Angle and Bobby Lashley were about to come to blows, the screen went black and we were privy to a preview for next week.
I think Total Nonstop Action Wrestling and Impact on Friday nights is really coming into its own as a viable professional wrestling product. It still suffers from much of the same stigma established through years of questionable booking, but the men and women featured on Destination America could finally be finding their "sweet spot" in terms of industry appeal. Next week's show will also emanate from Glasgow, headlined by the 20-Man Number One Contender's Gauntlet. On a scale from one to ten—one being December to Dismember and ten being Wrestle Kingdom 9—I'd give this episode of TNA Impact a 6 for above average performances, but not nearly as much wrestling as I'd like to see on a show called "IMPACT WRESTLING." Until next time my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this has been "Total Nonstop Analysis."
http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-21315/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-2615/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-2615/#comments Mon, 09 Feb 2015 03:35:24 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Angelina Love Austin Aries Awesome Kong BDC Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode Eric Young EY Gunner Havok James Storm Jeff Hardy Jessicka Havok Kenny King Kharma Kurt Angle Lethal Lockdown Lockdown Low Ki Mark Andrews Matt Hardy MVP NWA Rick Rude Rockstar Spud Samoa Joe The Beat Down Clan The Hardy Boyz TNA Tyrus Velvet Sky WCW WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9580 Total Nonstop Analysis TNA Lockdown 2/6/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty When Total Nonstop Action Wrestling began airing their pay-per-view events free-of-charge on cable television, many industry insiders predicted the beginning of the end for the barely thirteen-year-old company. And while TNA has undoubtedly had its struggles since the beginning of 2014, the personalities on […]
Total Nonstop Analysis
TNA Lockdown 2/6/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
When Total Nonstop Action Wrestling began airing their pay-per-view events free-of-charge on cable television, many industry insiders predicted the beginning of the end for the barely thirteen-year-old company. And while TNA has undoubtedly had its struggles since the beginning of 2014, the personalities on Impact are well along the road to recovery and dare I say there is light at the end of the tunnel? These "free-per-views" have been highly enjoyable, but none so much as this evening's Lockdown, filmed just a few weeks ago at the Manhattan Center in New York City. Lockdown is generally the best-selling PPV of the year, and this year's broadcast on Destination America gave a wider audience than ever a chance to see why. From the opening tag team battle to the main event, TNA appears to be working within their wheelhouse again. Let's kick things off with the TNA Tag Team Championship.
TNA Tag Team Championship
Matt & Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm & Abyss (c)
I've been highly critical of both Matt and Jeff Hardy in recent years; Jeff has embarrassed himself on several occasions inside the ring and Matt has always been the
other
Hardy, for lack of a better word. But this match and their series of in-ring encounters as of late have been nothing short of the Hardy Boyz I knew during the Attitude Era. This match saw the brothers from Cameron, North Carolina challenging Abyss and the leader of the Revolution, James Storm for the TNA world tag team titles. The match is off and running and the Hardy brothers make quick work in proving why it is they defined an era in high risk competition. Before long, fellow Revolution member Manik enters the fray in an effort to aid his fledgling leader James Storm, who's having more than his share of trouble in fending off the tenacious Hardy Boyz. The Hardy's outsmart the Revolution by handcuffing Manik to the cage before he can become too much of a burden and continue to run rough shod over James Storm and Abyss. Jeff pulls off an impressive Whisper in the Wind, followed by a Twist of Fate by Matt on both the Cowboy
and
the Monster. The Hardys go for a double cover, to which the referee responds with a two-handed double-count, but both members of the Revolution kick out just in time. The action intensifies, and it's around this time that I begin to notice the gaping holes around the cage. I imagine they're for camera operators to get a clear shot of the ring, but then Khoya of the Revolution pulled Matt Hardy through it and to the outside. I guess
that's
why those holes are there. Matt was on the outside but didn't win as the rules specifically stated the winner must go through the door or over the top. Jeff was now alone inside the ring and climbed to the top of the cage; by the time Jeff reached the top, the Great Sanada was on hand to blind Hardy with a powerful blue mist. Hardy fell back into the cage and back into the lion's den where Storm was waiting with the Last Call Superkick. 1-2-3 and the Revolution retains the TNA tag team titles.
The Revolution got to work assembling a table on the outside of the ring, which stood only a moment before Matt Hardy was power bombed through the wood at the hands of the monstrous Khoya. Another table was draw from under the ring, but by now Jeff was on his feet inside the ring fighting back against the relentless Revolution. The Charismatic Enigma climbed to the top of the cage but was knocked off and crotched on top of the steel door. The Cowboy James Storm ascended the Cage himself and struck Jeff right in the skull with the cowbell he carried into the contest, knocking Jeff off the door, sending him several feet to the ground—landing hard on the steel steps below. The paramedics retrieved Jeff's �broken' body as the fans inside the Manhattan Center cheered him on, chanting: "TNA! TNA! TNA!"
For some strange reason the Beat Down Clan—or rather, TNA management decided that now was a good time for an in-ring promo by MVP and his goons. The segment worked for the better however, as the BDC used their presence in the ring as bait to lure Team Angle out from hiding. Once they had Angle's team mates within their sights, the BDC set to work dismantling their opponents, paying special attention to Gunner. When the dust had cleared, questions arose as to whether Gunner would be cleared to compete in Lethal Lockdown. With hope all but lost, Kurt Angle went to go find Bobby Lashley.
Havok vs. Awesome Kong
For fans of ladies wrestling this match was a dream contest in TNA, and was contested inside the six sides of steel! That's unprecedented! The match began with quite a bit of brawling on the outside—in fact several minutes went by before either behemoth even entered the cage. Kong controlled Havok for the first few moments, walking with swag between strikes and slams. Havok is no pushover, as Taz made mention this contest was talked about before Kong even returned to TNA when Havok first made her presence felt back on Spike TV. Finally the two enter the ring and continue their brawl where both individuals display their respective strengths. Amidst a "Better than Diva's" chant, Josh Matthews broke the fourth wall of wrestling and made mention that Awesome Kong was once a WWE Superstar known as Karma. This goes along with TNA's newfound sense of where they exist in the wrestling food-chain, no longer seeking to compete and rather speaking positively about the entertainment superpower. Kong and Havok exchange chops inside the ring, and each "goozle" one another, hoping for a choke slam to end the bout. But it is the returning Kong that gets the better of Jessicka Havok with a powerful choke slam followed by a powerbomb off the top rope. To add insult to injury, the �Amazing' Amazon finished off the defeated Havok with a big splash from the top, earning the pin fall and reigning supreme in the "Land of the Knockouts."
We see a video recording from two weeks ago featuring Velvet Sky after just receiving her pink slip courtesy of "Feast or Fired." She hugs Angelina Love and explains the situation, apologizing for ruining the Beautiful People, and telling her how awful she feels. Love offers sympathy to her best friend, but smiles when her back is turned as that is one fewer female to stir things up in the Knockout locker room. This was a well-conceived segment, but if it was recorded two weeks ago, why save it for Lockdown—a show that needs to be less about the sizzle, and more about the STEAK ! An ill-timed three minutes in my opinion.
Kurt Angle is looking for the TNA world heavyweight champion Bobby Lashley. Kurt is now desperate as he is still without a fourth member of Team Angle in what is now the eleventh hour. A camera man tells Bobby that Kurt's looking for him; Lashley smiles and says, "I'm not that hard to find."
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
The most personal encounter on the card pits "Showtime" Eric Young against the man he cost the TNA world heavyweight title, Bobby Roode. Roode basically demolishes EY for the better part of the match with Eric coming back for a few heel spots before finally succumbing to the punishment. Of the half-dozen matches at Lockdown, this made the best use of the cage itself as Bobby Roode was in no way shy about tossing Young into it without remorse. Finally EY gets the upper hand and uses the cage to his advantage, trapping Roode between the ropes and the steel, and delivering a heinous cross body momentarily crippling the "It Factor" in the process. With the odds turning to either side at the drop of a hat, the leader of the BDC entered the equation and once again used the large holes in the cage—this time to hand EY a steel chair. EY controlled the pace of the match until Roode powered out and called an audible by sling-shotting Young head-first into the cage. As he struggled to his feet, the audience could see the blood flowing from EY's skull. Bobby Roode attempted to end it with a Roode Bomb off the top but to no avail; EY pushed Roode off the top rope and capitalized with a flying elbow drop. By this point Eric Young's face was covered in blood, and referee Earl Hebner wasn't reaching for a latex glove but continuing to call the action. Eric dropped the steel chair on Roode's broken body and climbed the ropes to finish him once and for all. Regardless of whether it was a clever game of possum or the wherewithal to succeed, Bobby Roode rose to his feet and tossed the chair at Young, dazing him for a moment. Once again he used the chair to his advantage, striking his fellow former Team Canada member. Finally, Bobby Roode lifted Eric Young into the air and dropped him on his neck performing a picture-perfect Roode Bomb, earning Bobby Roode a hard-fought victory.
Backstage Bobby Lashley and Kurt Angle have come face to face, but Bobby wants no part of what Kurt has to pitch. "You need us and we need you," Kurt yelled in the champions face, getting physical in the process. "Wake your ass up! Come on Bobby!"
Mark Andrews & Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus
Mark Andrews AKA "Mandrews" and Rockstar Spud are set to take on Ethan Carter's personal bodyguard Tyrus in a 2-on-1 handicap match, which seems easy enough—except for the imposing nature of Tyrus. The former bodyguard of Snoop Dogg is escorted to the ring by Ethan Carter, debonair as always as he carries the same set of electric clippers that claimed the cowlick of Jeremy Borash just one month ago. Tyrus has the upper hand, dominating the much smaller athletes with a series of clothes lines and body slams, as well as big splashes both on the mat and in the corner turnbuckle. Josh Matthews keeps calling the duo of Spud and Mandrews "Spandrews," which Taz takes issue with by the second time he says it. Spud's ingenuity would save him time and again during the match, but never more so than when he would fight out of a powerbomb and use the opportunity to scale the cage. Now at the top of the six sides of steel, the young cruiserweight from the United Kingdom stared around the arena at the TNA fans in New York City. I couldn't help but recall JR's famous line as Jeff Hardy climbed the ladder in his match with the Undertaker: "Go ahead kid! Make yourself famous!" Spud saw his chance to make history and descended the steel in a fiery blaze, somersaulting into a leg drop over Tyrus' back. The crowd went wild, but before Spud could capitalize, EC3 pulled Mandrews from the match and held him ransom at ringside. Spud went after EC3 in an attempt to save his friend, but his compassion would cost him when Tyrus came out of nowhere with the Asiatic Spike for the win. When the bell sounded, Borash climbed into the ring and let everyone know that it was "scalping time!" He plugged the electric sheers into the broadcast desk and proceeded to go after Spud and Mandrews. However before EC3 could have his fun, Jeremy Borash unplugged the clippers—foiling Ethan Carter's master plan!
Bobby Roode is on hand to give a post-match interview regarding his encounter with Eric Young earlier in the evening. Roode says that it's time to move past his predicament with EY, and it's time to focus on once again becoming the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.
Lethal Lockdown
Team Angle vs. The Beat Down Clan
Lethal Lockdown is an interesting concept not unlike War Games in the NWA/WCW. Two men enter and a coin toss determines the order in which each team sends additional support, thus giving the early advantage to one team. Nobody may win until all eight participants have entered the match, and that is when Lethal Lockdown begins. The first entry is Kenny King, which means the Beat Down Clan will get the early advantage of 2-on-1, 3-on-2, and so forth. His opponent is a wildcard entry in Gunner, who suffered an injury to his arm earlier on the show at the hands of the BDC. I predicted we'd see Gunner lead Team Angle as it makes sense to stack the deck against the babyfaces, and what better way to do that than to feature a handicapped performed in a handicapped situation? Gunner quickly attempts to even the odds and make up for his disadvantage by making early use of the weapons hanging around the cage. By two minutes however, he is at a severe detriment when Low Ki enters at number two for the BDC. Low Ki and King team up on Gunner who has trouble fending off his formidable opponents. I noticed that Kenny King has tights with the New York Skyline and a crown over the Empire State Building. I hope his moniker the "King of New York" is a Manhattan Center-only gimmick. That leads me to wonder if he'll have different tights for other cities that he works? Does he have a pair for his hometown Las Vegas, or how about the return to the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida? Kenny King could be a modern day "Ravishing" Rick Rude if he keeps his tights game on point. Back to the action: evening the odds for Team Angle is Austin Aries who makes it a tag team situation, followed by the third member of the BDC, Samoa Joe. Joe is the only member of the Beat Down Clan that comes out to his own music. Each new entrant in the match makes a statement by attacking the opposition and quickly retreating into the background so as to allow the next performer the chance to shine. Kurt Angle is the third and possibly last member of his team, and MVP is the fourth and final member of the BDC.
Lethal Lockdown had officially begun as all of the announced participants are now locked inside the six sides of steel. The battle wages back and forth with both teams having equal opportunity at walking away victorious. But the numbers game soon catches up to Team Angle, and the BDC is able to mount a sizeable offense. Each member of Team Angle lay crippled at the hands of the BDC while MVP walked across the canvas with a smile on his face—until the wailing siren of the Destroyer's anthem began to blare. The music hit and the fans inside the Manhattan Center knew that the TNA world heavyweight champion was in the building. But to quote Bobby the "Brain" Heenan at Bash at the Beach 1996: "Yeah, but whose side is he on?" The Destroyer walked to the ring and entered the cage as if a regularly scheduled entrant. He smiled at the BDC, and at his former friend Montel Vontavious Porter. The champion held his hand out to MVP, and they shook. But Bobby didn't let go. He tightened his grip on MVP's hand and the match itself. Soon Team Angle was back in control. Austin Aries, Kurt Angle, and Gunner held Kenny King, Samoa Joe, and Low Ki down in their respective submissions as Lashley turned MVP upside-down and inside-out with his championship Spear. The Destroyer came and concurred on behalf of Team Angle.
Don't take my word for it as my command of the English language is no match for the TNA wrestlers and Knockouts and their ability to shine inside the six sides of steel. I was particularly fond of the grudge match between Bobby Roode and his one-time best friend Eric Young, but if I had to pick a match of the night it'd be tough to choose anything other than Lethal Lockdown. An incredible night with twists and turns; a preview of what's to come in the new TNA maybe? Apparently there was something between Brooke and her former beau Robbie E, but I didn't get that on my DVR—even after rewinding and watching again. So maybe it was cut for time in some markets, if not all of them. Next week TNA promises to answer several questions plaguing the TNA fan community, including: "Where does Lashley stand?" Until next time ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this has been "Total Nonstop Analysis."
http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-2615/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-11615/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-11615/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2015 17:24:32 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Reviews Austin Aries BDC Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode DJ Z EC3 Eric Young Ethan Carter III EY Havok Hoya Impact James Storm Jeff Hardy John Gaburick Josh Mathews Kenny King Kurt Angle Low Ki Mike Tenay MVP nWo Ring Ka King Robbie E. Samoa Joe Taz Tazz The Beat Down Clan The Beautiful People The Clan TNA Tyrus wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9028 Total Non-Stop Analysis TNA Impact 1/16/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty The cat is out of the bag and if you aren't yet aware that TNA Impact is on Destination America, then your cat is DEAD! Suffocated by sheer lack of knowledge and not knowing that Dixie Carter and her merry band of B-level bandits […]
Total Non-Stop Analysis
TNA Impact 1/16/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
The cat is out of the bag and if you aren't yet aware that TNA Impact is on Destination America, then your cat is DEAD! Suffocated by sheer lack of knowledge and not knowing that Dixie Carter and her merry band of B-level bandits have moved to Friday Nights on Destination America. After last week's abysmal performance in the ratings, one might assume the second show in the reboot might fare better now that fans are hip to when it's on. Oh but that's just the thing, they don't know when to watch it because last weeks "preview" edition was on Wednesday and this week's "official debut" is on Friday night. All jokes aside I have to give credit to the Discovery Channel and its enormous network of channels for proving good on their word and promoting their new product just as well as they do Shark Week. I got to this week's episode of Impact about twelve hours after the internet, and by the time I did I heard everything from good to bad to absolutely atrocious! When I sat down to watch it I thought it was a bit heavy on the promos, and there were a few key moments I couldn't get passed but it wasn't terrible. It was far better than what was being produced for Spike TV this time last year, so in that regard it was another step in the right direction for a company with plenty of competition nipping of their heels.
The festivities kicked off with a vignette highlighting the events of last week accompanied by more Trademarc music, and then we're introduced to Josh Matthews and Tazz in—well they aren't in New York City. They're in the TNA World Headquarters in Nashville; Tazz is wearing an inordinately large winter coat, and Josh is displaying a fist full of rings, and a sleeve of tattoos. Much different than the button-up play-by-play announcer we knew in WWE. They throw the action immediately the ring where MVP enters the Manhattan Center alongside his yet-to-be-named posse of Kenny King, Samoa Joe and Low-Ki. The fans go wild with disgust for MVP and his allies, most notably Samoa Joe and Low-Ki. "Jah can't keep a good man down," MVP erupts onto the microphone with another explosive promo beginning with a �Rastafarian-themed' singsong introduction. Kenny King is on hand wearing a long red scarf looking more like a beatnik than the "King of Las Vegas" or whatever he claims to be. MVP wastes little time in naming his group of wayward wanderers, all oppressed talent without any hope of survival except to ban together. He calls them, "The Beat Down—Clan." Or the CLAN for short. Aside from the obvious Wu Tang references implied throughout the night, when was a clan ever a popular club to be a part of? Clan is right up there with "Adolf" as far as cringe-worthy words. And I know my discomfort is more with the word "Klan," but every woman who hates the "C-word" would have just as much trouble with the "k-word," so I stand by my critique: Beat Down Clan is a dreadful name that needs to go yesterday.
MVP introduces a man who is apparently not a member of the �Clan, but an associate and the man who cost Bobby Roode the title last week on Impact—"Showtime" Eric Young. Young is met with "you sold out" chants from the hostile crowd, to which EY responds, "Just to be super clear, your opinion doesn't matter." Eric Young is a far better heel than a face, whether he's the weasely underdog we saw with Team Canada or the dominant aggressor we'll see later tonight. EY is much more believable in the villainous role, and paired with MVP and the BDC makes for a partnership similar to Owen Hart and the Nation of Domination during the Attitude Era. MVP requests the TNA World Heavyweight Champion Lashley's presence but more Trademarc music plays and we get the TNA Director of Broken Friggin Necks, Kurt Angle. Angle tells the Beat Down Clan that everybody wants to see Kurt and Joe, and that Joe wants Kurt. Angle challenges Samoa Joe to a match—tonight! Incredible, right? Well, hang on. We head into a commercial break and when we return, Kurt Angle is in a painfully outdated red, white, and blue leotard, locked up with Samoa Joe. Kurt Angle is returning to regular competition against his long-time nemesis and they started the match during the commercial? They started the match during the commercial on a taped show, and then proceeded to show clips from during the break. I'm not sure if Joe was just playing nice to protect Kurt during his recovery, but the entire match was slow and lacked any kind of climax. And then, during the match, cameras went backstage to a producer banging on Bobby Lashley's door. Is the NWO back there? Kurt hooked in the ankle lock for what seemed like an eternity and all I could think was, "there's that guy who goes to IHOP with his daughter and posts about it every Sunday." Social media has ruined Kayfabe, but that's another argument for another day. When the match ended, it was Samoa Joe whose hand was raised after making Kurt tap to a rear naked choke. The Beat Down Clan put the boots to the Director of Instagram once more, before Bobby Roode tore into the ring like a bolt of lightning across the sky, brandishing a steel chair and saving Angle.
Back from break once more and Bobby Roode is pacing around the ring until he finally delivers another excellent promo beginning with expressing his enormous level of frustration based on what happened last week. He singles out Eric Young, his former best friend and Team Canada member, "Every word that spewed out of your [Young] mouth was a bunch of BULLSHIT!" He went on to tell the New York City faithful that tonight is not about professional wrestling, a sport that both he and Eric love. No, tonight is about payback and tonight is the night that Bobby Roode will seek his revenge on the treacherous Eric Young. Back in the Nashville studios, Josh and Tazz are on hand once again to plug Saturday's debut edition of "Impact: Unlocked." Similar to last week, we get an inside look at what we might expect from this new series starring "The Professor" Mike Tenay, as this week he speaks to Magnus about his status as an "independent contractor." The backstage shenanigans continue with Rockstar Spud apologizing to Jeremy Borash for the impromptu haircut he received at the hands of Ethan Carter III last week on Impact. Rather than backing down, JB instead told Spud that his hair would grow back and EC3 was going to get what was coming to him. Back in the Manhattan Center, James Storm arrived with the Revolution and stood in the balcony under a spotlight through the entire match. The match was simplistic and predictable for a long while until about three before it came to an end. Maybe I've been watching too many junior heavyweight tag matches, but I don't get excited watching Jeff Hardy huff-and-puff as he tries to run along the top ropes. It also appeared everyone was in action for the entire match. Where was the tagging in this tag team contest? In the end the Wolves do the job to the Hardy's as anyone might expect in front of the mainstream New York City audience. Lurking backstage, Ethan Carter and Tyrus interrupt John Gaburick who's busy working in the Gorilla Position. They convince him to take a break so that they can gain control of the Impact camera operators. EC3 sets his sights on ring announcer Jeremy Borash who's now without a hat on his bald head and sitting ringside. Ethan Carter challenges JB to a match next week, and gives him a half hour to decide. Instead of talking about it later, fast forward thirty minutes and Jeremy reluctantly accepts.
It's time for the no holds barred throw-down between former champion Bobby Roode and "Showtime" Eric Young. This match was a one-sided surprise with Eric Young achieving much of the offense throughout the fight, earning a concise 1-2-3 victory in the end. What struck me was the ferocity in "Showtime" as he systematically dismantled his former best friend from start to finish. After Bobby Roode's insignificant title run, this virtual squash match to a cruiserweight-sized competitor makes me think the plan was to push EY all along. After dragging the fallen champion around the ring and introducing his skull to some of its finer points, Eric Young delivered an expert piledriver to Bobby Roode atop a steel chair for the win. MVP once again made his presence known, this time to say, "Maybe someone will take you to the hospital, but maybe not. Because you damn sure didn't visit EY when he was in the hospital." Next is Brooke, a TNA Knockout for whom I formed no opinion until she said the words, "only a classless Jersey douchebag," regarding the Kayfabe comments made by Robbie E. I was raised in the beautiful Blueberry State and I take offense to some glorified stripper running her mouth. I didn't pay any attention to the match because I was busy tweeting. The Beautiful People picked up the win and the auditorium went black, signifying the arrival of Awesome Kong. After Kong dismantle the Beautiful People and DJ Z, the music hit and Havok arrived. The stare down was imminent lasting but seconds until the animosity gave way to violence and security was forced to step in. Backstage James Storm introduces audiences to "Hoya." Storm says "Hoya" means "Lost" in Hindi. I'm not saying Google is smarter than James Storm, but the translator told me "Kho gaya" is "Lost." I hope this Hoya character improved since his days with Ring Ka King in India, because he was pretty gosh darn terrible. The match of the night was without question the X-Division championship match between defending champion Austin Aries and Beat Down Clan member Low-Ki. An awesome match with minimal interference from BDC members stationed around the ring, but interference nonetheless throughout the contest. The most prominent instance of �Clan involvement was when Kenny King served to trip an offensive Aries while climbing the ropes. This misstep caused Austin to fall onto Low Ki's shoulders where the former champion would deliver a devastating "Ki-Crusher" to win his fourth X-Division Championship.
I enjoy Montel Vontavious Porter just as much as anyone. But do I need to hear MVP talk this much over the course of one broadcast? He's by far the most talented talker in the promotion, one of the best in the world, but that doesn't mean a wrestling company needs to constantly hang its hat on talking. But sure enough the show ends with another promo by the leader of the Beat Down Clan, coming to once again beckon the TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley, whom we now know is in the building. Lashley emerges with the title, a belt MVP says belongs to the Beat Down Clan. He proceeds to list the ways in which �Clan members helped Lashley in securing the title just one week ago. Lashley tells MVP, "That's what you're about. I'm not about that." Just as things begin to heat up between two supposed friends, Bobby called MVP "Hassan," leading MVP to utter, "Oh you called me my government, huh?" Then in a surprising move to all, MVP embraced Lashey, telling him that it's okay. He then kissed the champion on the cheek and the entire BDC attacked Bobby Lashley. I mean with wrestling offense, not with kisses. To be honest, the "Kiss of Death" gimmick is cool and all, but it looked weird and didn't come off the way I assume they wanted it to. The show closed on MVP and his �Clan laying into Bobby Lashley. My biggest takeaway from the formation of the Beat Down Clan is—what the hell is Samoa Joe doing? Or rather, what is TNA doing with Samoa Joe? Joe is a former world champion surrounded by midcarders, and remains a skilled wrestler in a wrestling company that needs to refocus on wrestling. I'm hoping he continues whatever that creative curveball with Kurt Angle was, although I'd like to see the entire match sans commercials and with a better conditioned Kurt Angle this time. Once the final segment had already concluded, Josh Matthews said, "What else is going to happen?" I'm just saying, don't say that if nothing else is going to happen. On his way out the door, MVP stole the title belt from Bobby Lashley in a move ImpactWrestling.com is referring to as a "hijacking!"
In case you couldn't tell, I tried to go into this episode of TNA Impact with a good sense of humor. There were only four matches on a 2-hour card that featured three in-arena promos by MVP. It's hard to walk away with much positive to say about that, but I will try and give Dixie Carter the benefit of the doubt this week. John Gaburick and Josh Matthews aren't morons and if they're involved in the production process I'm optimistic that this initial mess of hazy booking might be leading somewhere. Maybe the combination of MVP, Low-Ki and Samoa Joe with a title they all feel justified in carrying could lead to new concepts in storytelling. Impact closed with a preview of next week's show featuring a literal street fight on the gritty asphalt of Manhattan. Also next week is the annual "Feast or Fired" tradition, so I'll be looking forward to what I'm cautiously hopeful might be a good show. Until then this is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to check out TNA Impact on Friday nights exclusively on Destination America.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-11615/feed/ 0http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-1715/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-1715/#comments Fri, 09 Jan 2015 20:50:25 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Angelina Love Austin Aries Awesome Kong AXS Bobby Lashley Chris Candido Davey Richards Destination America DJ Z EC3 Eddie Edwards Eric Young Ethan Carter III Gail Kim Havok Impact Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Hardy Jeremy Borash Jessicka Havok John Cena John Gaburick Josh Mathews Knockout's Kong Kurt Angle Low Ki Manik Marc Predka Matt Hardy Mike Tenay MVP New Japan Pro Wrestling NJPW Ring of Honor Robbie E. Rockstar Spud ROH Samoa Joe Sanada Seiya Sanada Taryn Terrell Taz The American Wolves The BroMans The Great Sanada The Revolution The Wolves TNA Tyrus Unlocked Velvet Sky Verne Gagne wrestling WWE X-Division http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8683 Total Non-Stop Analysis TNA Impact 1/7/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty I think it's safe to say that 2014 was a turbulent time for the second most visible wrestling company in America as they struggled to find a home without losing the one million viewers they had already worked thirteen years to win. Everyone knows […]
Total Non-Stop Analysis
TNA Impact 1/7/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
I think it's safe to say that 2014 was a turbulent time for the second most visible wrestling company in America as they struggled to find a home without losing the one million viewers they had already worked thirteen years to win. Everyone knows by now that Impact did in fact find a new home on Destination America, and things seem to be off to a good start. I didn't hear any direct mention of T-N-A except when referring to the championship titles, and that's only because they're each embroidered with three enormous diamond-studded letters, glistening under the hot lights of the Manhattan Center. Instead the product appears to now be known simply as "Impact Wrestling," a superior name as far as I'm concerned because Impact Wrestling doesn't mean, "boobs" and "butts"—uh, I like to keep things clean around here. This was a really great episode and a spectacular way to reboot the program on a brand new network. While there were a few moments when I had to rewind and say to myself, "Wait—WWE just did that," this show was well-constructed and all-together entertaining. Let's quit with the introductions and get right down to the random thoughts running �round my head in this week's edition of "Total Non-Stop Analysis."
Worried at first as to how the show would lead off, my fears rapidly retreated into my brain when Impact Wrestling began with a very well-produced montage of wrestlers preparing for the big return to television. Included therein was Bobby Lashley, Gail Kim, Samoa Joe and several others depicted in their hotel rooms just prior to the TNA Reboot at the Manhattan Center. Overtop the behind-the-scenes footage played what I believe was John Cena's rapping cousin Tha Trademarc, although I could be wrong. But given his past relationship with TNA, even performing Kurt Angle's entrance theme, I'm willing to bet that was none other than good old Marc Predka. As wrestlers arrived at the Manhattan Center a literal street fight broke out between every member of the roster including all main event talent, the Knockouts, and even Rockstar Spud! The carnage spilled inside where the live audience was excited to see a video-game style wrestling brawl come to life; more than twenty-five men and women picking their spots and opening Impact in a huge way. As security started to get a handle on the action, Executive Director Kurt Angle made his entrance asking, "Security—what do you think you're doing?" After he laid down the law declaring all TNA championships will be defended this evening, MVP wanted to know whether or not Kurt was "going to announce how he assaulted" MVP the last time they saw each other. He even went on to say, "The Kurt Angle of 1996 was an Olympic Gold Medalist. The Kurt Angle of 2015 wears a suit and tie and has no balls. Professional wrestler? Kurt—you're done." Kurt responded the only way he knew how; the first match for The New Impact of 2015 would see Kurt Angle battle MVP dressed in street clothes, in what would prove to be a thrilling contest of catch-wrestling regardless of attire. I have to give credit where it's due and congratulate MVP for training so feverishly in recent years, because the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Judo are beginning to pay off in regard to the former United States champion's repertoire. Kurt looked phenomenal as always despite being shelved for the better part of the last year, utilizing a litany of his own signature maneuvers such as The Hat Trick and even his Olympic Slam. The fans in New York City were really getting into this bout as they chanted, "M-V-Penis," toward the ring for a good three or four minutes. Of course Kurt Angle would come out on top but I'll venture a guess that 2015 could be the year we see Montel Vontavious Porter in possession of the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Until now we've only heard his voice but it's time to put a face to Taz's new broadcast colleague, Josh Matthews. Matthews gives a basic introduction and introduces Taz as, "a former three time world champion." Uh—okay, I guess ECW still counts. They run down the changes we the viewer might expect going forward, including a new hidden camera-feature displaying heels and heroes intermingling backstage. Matthews says they're going to pull the curtain back like never before; I guess just because something didn't work for the XFL, doesn't mean there's no hope for Impact. I give it two months before they abandon all of the "behind-the-scenes" garbage in favor of a standard broadcast, because that's what the fans have been clamoring for. In addition to seeing The Broman's paling around with Samoa Joe in the locker room, the camera gave us an unprecedented look at John Gaburick producing the show from the "Gorilla Position." Following an awesome EC3 promo we're back in instructional mode, but that's okay because this time we've got The Professor Mike Tenay telling us all about, "Impact: Unlocked." �Unlocked will be a new program on Destination America each week similar to other sports highlight shows including news, stats, opinions and interviews. Tenay gives us a sneak peak of what to expect when he sits down in an empty arena to discuss the formation of The Revolution with James Storm.
Following the prerecorded conversation between The Professor and The Cowboy, James Storm and Abyss emerged from the back to defend their tag titles against The American Wolves. I find it kind of quirky how Storm carries both belts for he and his partner Abyss, what an original concept that I don't think I've ever seen before. I'm sorry, that's rude. I don't like writing sarcastically because it doesn't translate very well to the reader, but come on! I find James Storm far more favorable-a-performer than The Miz, but the facts are clear and I'm pretty sure I saw Mike Mizanin performing this shtick starting several months back. Not a huge deal when you take into account the quality of workrate on Impact versus the more mainstream alternative. In fact if The Revolution falls flat, The Wolves are always enough to make me forget about the sad state of the WWE Tag Division. Before the bell could sound both Matt and Jeff Hardy wandered out from the locker room, presumably to scout the champions or perhaps to gain a better vantage point of Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. The Wolves appear to have gotten some new ink since last we saw them in the six-sided ring, but the added sizzle has done nothing to hinder the flavor of the steak. I guess maybe four consecutive suicide dives performed by both Edwards and Richards was a bit much, but who's to even make that decision when the name of the game on the indie level is, "Can You Top That?" The match was on fire which is pretty cool considering the advanced ages of both Abyss and Storm when contrasted with their much younger opponents. But age isn't any more than a number, especially in the world of professional wrestling—just ask Shawn Michaels who was widely considered better in his 40's than he ever was in his 20's. That's a pretty sweet (chin music) segue into the final moment of the match—a Superkick! "The Last Call" is my favorite superkick in wrestling, and yes I'm including The Young Bucks and Adam Cole in the conversation. I just don't think anyone hits the move with more fluidity while maintaining a perfectly straight leg the way Cowboy James Storm does. A hard-contested war between the reprehensible Revolution and the former tag title holders, The American Wolves.
Ethan Carter III and his staunch sense of entitlement have returned for the year 2015, wearing the shiniest mafia suit you've ever seen in your life. I think EC3 gives what is probably the best promo in all of TNA. He's a far cry from the best wrestler on the roster, but what Carter lacks in ring presence he makes up for with cunning ingenuity. Aside from the standard retort, "No, I'm very good," every time the crowd would chant, "You suck," Ethan Carter invited the New York City fans to join him in celebrating as, "2015 is the year of our wrestling lord, EC3." I question the use of saying "fact" after every sentence because once again, I'm fairly certain somebody else has already cornered that market of the industry. But all things considered I really enjoy Ethan Carter whenever he's in possession of a microphone, so I'm inclined to ignore that. His back and forth with Jeremy Borash and Rockstar Spud was well-received, I just wish the camera didn't fail to pick up the slap from JB to EC3. I find head-shaving and hair-cutting to be a little too �rasslin' for my modern day taste but the uneven crewcut given to Jeremy Borash was quick and concise enough to ensure I didn't lose interest in an otherwise very stimulating story. I've never been a fan of Jeremy Borash and might even go as far as to say I don't like him. But given his thirteen year commitment to TNA, there are few tenured employees as beloved as Jeremy thus making him the perfect ponzi for EC3 to target.
While everything inside me says to declare Austin Aries versus Low-Ki match of the night, I'm less inclined to do so as I've seen far too much of these wrestlers in recent months. The X-Division is becoming a two-to-three man show with Samoa Joe still not cleared to compete, and I don't think the title is done any justice when it's tossed around between the same wrestlers on a semi-monthly basis. That being said you can't take anything away from either Low-Ki or Aries in the performance department. I noticed that Josh Matthews appeared very keen on getting historical statistics correct, several times referencing WWE and Ring of Honor, even referring to Austin Aries as a 3-time world champion—just like Taz, I guess. It's weird whenever I see Austin Aries in the six-sided ring because perhaps more than anyone else on the roster, I'm used to seeing him wrestle independently inside the standard squared circle. Despite an earnest effort and a highly effective "Bite of the Dragon," Low-Ki was bested by one of the greatest wrestlers on earth. Following a debilitating Brain Buster, it was only a matter of time before A-Double picked up his sixth X-Division title win.
Then there was a Knockouts Battle Royal. I don't want to be labeled a sexist but I can't stand the Knockouts Division and if being honest means being called prejudice, then I guess I'll have to make due. This isn't a discussion comparing Knockouts to Divas, this is about looking at the storylines the women in TNA are subjected to. This was a seven-woman battle royal for the Knockouts Title which in itself should be insulting, not only to the champion Taryn Terrell but to proven women's competitors such as Gail Kim and Jessicka Havok. Even the Beautiful People deserved more than they received on this landmark broadcast which brings me to another point. Why was this the designated moment to reintroduce Robbie E? I'm originally from the Great Garden State with a special place in my heart for Guido's, but I don't get the logic in allowing the Bromans to cut a promo directly before a Knockout's Title Match? Is the creative team in TNA so uncomfortable with women's wrestling that they opted to lead in with Robbie E? Nonetheless the match was terrible and paced even worse with pockets of inaction spread across the ring. It's not the women or their abilities that I loathe, but the obvious second-string approach Gaburick and his team take to some of the best wrestlers in the world. Luckily all was not lost thanks to a moment which might go down as the coolest Knockout spot in history. When Havok failed to conquer Taryn Terrell, she went wild and attacked anybody in her path—that is until the lights went out and the Manhattan Center was greeted by an unfriendly yet very familiar face. It was Awesome Kong! Returning to do damage and reclaim her Knockout Title, Kong made quick work of Havok to set up one of the biggest dream matches in women's wrestling. It was very cool to see Kia Stevens back in TNA as Kong was one of the only reasons the Knockout Division was so fun to watch.
Kurt Angle and Josh Matthews each dedicated time to declaring tonight's main event a potential Match of the Year contender—before it even happened, mind you. I didn't think that was true, in fact I had very little hope that this match would be anything more than a five minute brawl complete with inconsistent selling and outside interference from MVP. While we did see our share of Montel and his faction of masked marauders, the actual match surprised the heck out of me. Last week I released my Top Fourteen Wrestlers of 2014 and came very close to adding Bobby Lashey's name to my list. Lashley has come an exceptionally long way since his days of defending Donald Trump's head of hair from Vince McMahon, even employing what I consider the deadliest Spear in all of professional wrestling. Bobby Roode is a classic wrestler's wrestler who could be dropped down into any decade and still have an amazing career whether battling it out with Verne Gagne or Chris Candido. Roode seems to have a far superior understanding of ring psychology than does the rest of the TNA Roster. I have nothing but respect and admiration for both Bobby's but it's when their conflicting styles collide that I begin to worry as to the outcome. Bobby Lashley looks utterly ridiculous when relegated to running the ropes and selling moves such as Suplexes. All the while Roode lacks the ability and body type necessary to sell Lashley's power holds. I thought Lashley/Roode Number One sucked; I thought Lashley/Roode Number Two was a letdown; when it came time for their third encounter I had no hopes higher than what their previous bouts allowed me to expect. Once things got underway many of my fears were realized, however I was happy to see both men adapt greatly to the others' style and strength, making this a much more enjoyable match within the first few moments.
The technical end of things caught me by surprise as I didn't see this match breaking down to the mat, but that is where they stayed until the cavalry arrived around the ring. MVP returned to the Manhattan Center alongside Kenny King and two masked men that weren't going to let security stop them from entering the arena. Back in the ring Lashley's face is leaking blood from inside his mouth as he engages in battle with Bobby Roode. Once the masked men made their way onto the apron, they were revealed as Samoa Joe and Low-Ki, here to ensure Lashley walks away with the title around his waist. Just as soon as they arrived however, MVP's band of baddies was seemingly scared away by the former TNA World Champion Eric Young who came to his best friend's aid swinging a steel chair.
But this wouldn't be wrestling if everybody got along; after faking out the NYC crowd as well as Roode himself, Eric Young drilled the edge of the steel chair deep into Bobby Roode's ribs, then to his back. As EY vacated the ring, leaving MVP and his minions scattered around watching the action unfold, Bobby Lashley came to his senses and delivered the most impressive Spear you've ever seen. The referee counted one, two, three and The Destroyer Bobby Lashley is once again the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.
About halfway through the broadcast I sent a text to one of my Cheap-Heat colleagues insisting that he check out the "New TNA." His response was something to the effect of: "I just can't with TNA anymore, they've been doing the same storylines for five years." While I want my friend to give the show a chance regardless of his preconceived conceptions, I can't help but wonder how many hundreds—or even THOUSANDS of former fans feel the same way. Impact is going to have to pull out all the stops without, "jumping any sharks" if they want to survive in the most competitive wrestling environment since The Attitude Era. Nobody is going to unseat the reigning King Vince McMahon, but everyone else including Lucha Underground, Ring of Honor, and NJPW on AXS stands the same chance of stealing Impact's spot and becoming the official number two show in the country. Remember starting next week Impact Wrestling will begin airing in its normal timeslot, Friday Nights at 9PM EST on Destination America. I think the original plan was to remain on Wednesdays but now that NXT is moving to Wednesday in response to Smackdown moving to Thursday, it appears Impact went the safer route by booking on a night devoid of any in-ring competition. Wait—that means there's a new wrestling show on Monday through Friday every single week? The dream. Ladies and gentlemen as always it has been my pleasure spending some time with you here in cyberspace. My name is Mark Haggerty and I hope you'll join me again next week for another entertaining edition of Total Non-Stop Analysis.
http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-1715/feed/ 2http://www.cheap-heat.com/bwfs-tna-impact-wrestling-review-for-november-12th-2014/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/bwfs-tna-impact-wrestling-review-for-november-12th-2014/#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2014 06:40:39 +0000 bored wrestling fan Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Angelina Love Austin Aries Bobby Lashley Chris Melendez Daniel Bryan Davey Richards DJZ Eddie Edwards Eric Young Gail Kim Gunner Havok Impact James Storm Jessie Godderz Kenny King Kurt Angle Madison Rayne Manik Mr. Anderson MVP Rebel Rob Terry Sam Shaw Samuel Shaw Taryn Terrell The Beautiful People The BroMans The Menagerie The Wolves TNA Tyrus wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=6301 Time for the second to last Impact. Are you ready? James Storm comes out to start the show. It would have been so great if they booked it so that he ended Impact and we finally had a heel faction destroy a wrestling company. He calls out the Wolves for his answer. The one that […]
Time for the second to last Impact. Are you ready?
James Storm comes out to start the show. It would have been so great if they booked it so that he ended Impact and we finally had a heel faction destroy a wrestling company. He calls out the Wolves for his answer. The one that Storm isn't interested in tries to tell Storm no but Davey grabs the mic and tells Eddie he can speak for himself, and make his own decisions. He's thought about Storm's offer and it makes sense, but his conclusion is that Storm is insane. His answer is no. Storm and the boys jump the Wolves and Storm chokes Davey with his bullrope and is fired a la Daniel Bryan. Storm ties up Richard's leg in the bullrope and goes to town on it with a chair. Security come out to seperate everyone while Richards cries like a little bitch.The Revolution leave and come back with Storm holding a briefcase. Storm hits Edwards with the case and goes back to hitting Richard's leg with it. He opens the briefcase and it's a Feast or Fired briefcase. Storm cashes it in as a title shot.
James Storm and Abyss vs The Wolves for the TNA Tag Titles
I completely forgot that Storm had that case. He won it with Gunner almost a year ago. Storm hits Eye of The Storm on Eddie, taunts him and is about to pin him when Abyss interrupts. Abyss gets on the apron and stares at Storm as Storm announces Abyss has joined him. Abyss is his tag partner, and Storm tags him in. Abyss choke slams Edwards, hits the Black Hole Slam, and gets a hug from Storm, who tags himself in for the win. Storm gets the pin, and the Revolution are the tag champs now. Post match Storm hits Eye of The Storm on Richards for good measure and walks off with the boys and his belts.
Madison Rayne vs Taryn Terrell
Taryn fights hard and Madison tries to walk off, and avoid Taryn. It fails and she dies. Rayne takes advantage with cheap shots and I just stop caring. FFW! Taryn wins.
Kurt Angle is backstage on the phone. Bobby Lashley walks in and says he wants his rematch tonight and Angle says he can't have it. Roode is busy doing promotional work and isn't around. Lashley threatens him and walks off.
That new Indian wrestler is backstage and is jumped by Manik who says he sounds like a superhero and he was awesome at the bar. Manik says there's a powerful man he wants Bashira to meet and they walk off to see Storm.
Kenny King comes out to the ring and introduces himself. He has a few things he wants to talk about. The first thing is his crew. MVP is away on a photoshoot and, yeah, Lashley is pissed off, but it's not at the crew. He's pissed off at Angle and Roode. When Lashley gets mad he destroys so he'll be champ again soon. The next thing is to sort out his beef with Chris Melendez, and he calls Chris out to the ring. Chris comes out to the ring flanked by Mr Anderson. King complains that he's been classed as not patriotic now. He loves America, but hates Melendez for being a fraud. Anderson says Chris is a hero and an inspiration. Great, another "America is so fucking awesome we're going to suck our own dicks" angle. Anderson insults King and King says God gave man one mouth and one asshole, and he's not sure which one Anderson is using, and calls Melendez Peggy. Love it. King is angry that people call Chris a wrestler and he wants to fight Melendez one on one as long as Chris has his blonde girlfriend sit at home. Chris says Ken believes in him and so do the crowd, so he'll do it and he'll win. King will learn that Chris is better than him and that he belongs here. King says that Ken is a role model, but he learned when he was a kid that role models are like Santa Claus; they don't exist. He decks Anderson and runs off.
Gail Kim and Kurt Angle are backstage with Angle. They both want to fight Havok and Angle says next week it's a threeway for the title. They thank him and walk off. Well that was short and sweet.
The Beautiful People (and The Bromans) vs The Menagerie (minus Rob Terry) in an Elimination Match
Yes folks this is a 4 on 3 handicap match. Of course if Rebel gets eliminated it's straight 2 on 2 because this isn't Lucha Underground. Rebel and Angelina Love start things off and Steve slaps her ass. The distraction lets Rebel get the pin and eliminate Angelina Love. Knux comes in and hits a fucking drop kick after a cartwheel. I had no idea the guy was that agile. He knocks Jessie Godderz down but DJZ hits a cross body and Godderz hits the pin. Steve runs in and pins DJZ immediately so its a mixed tag now.
Rebel and Velvet Sky go at it and things turn into a softcore lesbian porn as Tazz makes an amazing Stretch Armstrong reference. Love runs interference and Velvet Sky gets the win. Knux argues with the ref about the spray in the eye and DJZ blindsides Steve so Jessie can finish him off. Velvet begs for the tag and attacks Steve. At this point Steve should be allowed to punch her in the face but he can't because of feminism. Steve reverses something and gets the pin so it's one on one. Jessie shredrapes Steve hard. Steve manages to hit a Tornado DDT from the corner and gets the win. Menagerie win! MENAGERIE WIN! Mavenfan is seen celebrating in the crowd.
Eric Young and Jeremy Borasch are backstage. They debate if it's possible to actually have the taste slapped out of your mouth and Spud runs in dressed in an army uniform suit. He asks JB if he's okay and thanks Eric for everything he's done. This week Eric is facing Tyrus and Spud asks if he can be in Eric's corner. Eric says sure, and says they'll put "The bigger they are the harder they fall" to the test and tells Spud to call him EY and not "Sir".
The Revolution are backstage and Storm congratulates Abyss and notices Bashira. Is that his name? Manik tries to introduce him but Storm spits on the ground, says there is a price to pay for salvation, and slaps Manik in the face and tells him to get rid of Bashira. They walk off together and Storm calls Manik back and whispers something in his ear. Manik bows and walks off again.
Tyrus vs Eric Young
Tyrus punches the beard off of Eric Young and Spud tries to intimidate Ethan Carter outside the ring. Ethan tells Tyrus to crush Eric Young, and he goes for the Swagger Bomb. Eric avoids it and fights back. Eric hits a sort of slam and Spud stops Ethan from interfering and even knocks him on his ass. Eric drops the elbow and manages to get the win. Tyrus is now buried deeper than the bones of the legendary Funkasaurus. Post match Bobby Lashley hops in the ring and Spears Eric Young before just destroying Spud. He grabs a chair and traps Eric's arm in it before stomping in the chair and putting a crossface on him, while the chair is still on his arm. Austin Aries (he lives?) runs out with a chair for the save. Aries grabs a mic and challenges Lashley to a match. Lashley walks off while accepting the match.
Samuel Shaw and Brittany are backstage. She says she has to say something to him that won't make him happy. Gunner came on to her. Heh. Shaw walks off pissed off while Brittany smirks. Sam Shaw should know Gunner only has eyes for him.
Samoa Joe comes out to the ring. Apparently he's injured after the match last week. They air a video of him being put into an ambulance last week and Joe says he needs to do something. The hardest decisions are the right ones and he has to make the right decision. He's been informed that he's not medically cleared to compete and has to go on the shelf for a while. He wanted to reinvigorate the X-Division and bring the X-Division back to the light. It was the division of the true wrestler, for the true wrestling fan. That was a great line. Joe knows there are people who risk it all for his belt, and those men deserve better. The fans deserve better. As a result Joe has made the decision to vacate the title. VACANT WINS ANOTHER TITLE! VACANT RULES! Joe puts the belt on one of the turnbuckles and says when he's healthy he's going after whoever wins the belt. Tazz keeps questioning what the injury is and now I'm curious too. Joe walks off after saying he's coming after whoever gets the belt. Next week it's Low Ki, Tigre Uno, Manik and DJZ in a 4 way for the title.
Bram is backstage. He pretty much says he's going to kill Tommy Dreamer. That's it.
Samuel Shaw vs Gunner in a No DQ match
I have to say, Christie Hemme is really comfortable with Sammy Shaw now. Shaw ducks to the side of the ramp and hides ready to jump Gunner. The distraction works and Sam jumps Gunner and chokes him with his shirt. Okay I've seen enough people getting choked, and enough people making out. The pair fight outside the ring for a few minutes and Gunner tosses his broken ass in the ring and beats him with a chair. Gunner beats Shaw with a chair outside the ring too. Shaw drops Gunner on the steel steps and teases suplexing him on to them. Gunner fights out and drops Shaw into the ring instead. Gunner punches Shaw out of the air and grabs yet another chair. Even though there's already four or five in the ring. He hits Shaw with a chair and tries to Superplex him into a pile of chairs. He hits the Superplex but takes most of the chairs himself because he's an idiot. Gunner crawls over and goes to attack Shaw, but Brittany distracts him. Gunner drags Shaw outside and powerbombs him on to the steps to mess with Brittany. Gunner tosses Shaw into the ring and Brittany follows him. She gets between him and Shaw and kicks Gunner square in the nuts. Gunner grabs Brittany's leg and gets a chair shot to the back for his trouble. Shaw goes to put Gunner in the choke but Gunner reverses it and slams Shaw back on to the chairs for the win.
Bobby Lashley vs Austin Aries
Aries goes for the win pretty early with the Last Chancery but of course he had no chancery. Aries keeps up the offence as much as he can to wear Lashley down and Lashley hits the occasional power spot. Lashley does his best BRACK LASNAR impression and hits suplex after suplex after suplex after suplex and you get the idea. Aries literally bites his way out of a Superplex attempt and hits a missle dropkick. Aries hits the discus forearm but can't get the Brainbuster in. He hits a Neckbreaker through the ropes and a Suicide Dive. The pair put on a pretty great match. Lashley gets back into things by tossing Aries off the turnbuckle into the steel steps and Aries looked like he legit passed out. Lashley whips him into the stairs and Aries comes to life. Lashley hits the Spear outside the ring and the match ends in a double countout. I didn't even realise there was a count going on. Lashley Press Slams Aries on to the ramp and locks in the Crossface. Other refs come out to seperate Lashley and Aries and Lashley walks off to end the show.
This post originally was posted at our affiliates @ BoredWrestlingFan.com .
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