http://www.cheap-heat.com WWE, TNA, ROH, NJPW - Blogs, Reviews, Top Lists, Indy News & Results Sun, 20 Sep 2015 01:35:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.3.1

http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/#comments Sun, 30 Aug 2015 14:27:48 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Abyss Bobby Roode Bubba Ray Dudley Bully Ray Dixie Carter Dollhouse Drew Galloway GFW Global Force Wrestling Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Jarrett Karen Jarrett Knockout's Manik Pro Wrestling Revolution Sonjay Dutt Taryn Terrell Tigre Uno TNA TNA Impact Velvet Sky WWE WWE Network WWE Universe Youtube http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13871 It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to […]

It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to step back in horror. Perhaps it's coming off an incredibly jam-packed WWE weekend, but I went into this week's episode of Impact with higher hopes than usual. I think I was probably just ready for something different. Let's start Scraping the Barrel , and see what comes in at number five.

5. Rebel is the Newest Member of the Doll House!

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4. Chris Melendez Relinquishes His Leg to Eric Young

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3. The �Wolves vs. The Revolution for the Tag Team Titles

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2. Sonjay Dutt vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno for the X-Division Title

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1. Who is responsible for the recent attacks on TNA talent?

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Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News !

http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-7-bandits-of-the-bout/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/lucky-thirteen-7-bandits-of-the-bout/#comments Tue, 17 Feb 2015 00:02:19 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Top Lists AJPW All-Japan Pro Wrestling America's Most Wanted AWA Barry Windham Bart Gunn Beer Money Billy Gunn Blackjack Lanza Blackjack Mulligan Bob Holly Bob Orton Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Bobby Duncum Jr. Bobby Roode Brawl for All Chris Harris Chris Jericho Cowboy Bob Orton Cowboy James Storm Curt Henning Dory Funk Dory Funk Jr. ECW GWF Henry Godwinn Hulk Hogan Jake Roberts James Storm JBL Jim Crockett Jimmy Wang Yang John Bradshaw Layfield John Layfield Lance Cade Master P New Blackjacks NWA Outlaw Ron Bass Paul Orndorff Phineas Godwinn Randy Savage Revolution Road Dogg Roddy Piper Ron Bass Sam Houston Shanghai Pierce Shawn Michaels Stan Hanson Steve Williams Sunny Ted DiBiase Terry Funk Tex Slazenger The Blackjacks The Godfather The Smoking Gunns TNA Trevor Murdoch Vader Vince McMahon WCCW WCW West Texas Rednecks Wrestlemania WWC WWE WWF WWWF http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9750 Lucky Thirteen #7 Bandits of the Bout Written by Mark Adam Haggerty When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it to the next level and give you the Lucky Thirteen. Why? Because we're Cheap-Heat and we believe in kicking things up to the extreme! Today we’re talking about Bandits and Outlaws, otherwise […]

Lucky Thirteen #7
Bandits of the Bout
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

When other sites are counting down from ten, we take it to the next level and give you the Lucky Thirteen. Why? Because we're Cheap-Heat and we believe in kicking things up to the extreme! Today we’re talking about Bandits and Outlaws, otherwise known around these here parts as Cowboys. Since the dawning of the age of Sports Entertainment, professional wrestling has featured an enormity of wrestling roughnecks who would appear just as comfortable on the back of a horse than they would inside of the squared circle. Let's start things off with one of the most modern members of our countdown and a graduate of the Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy…

13. Lance Cade
Lance Cade was a superior talent who first happened upon the professional wrestling scene in Japan alongside fellow Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy classmate Bryan Danielson. Cade had developed a penchant for tag team wrestling and in 2005 was called to the main roster in the midst of the "Ruthless Aggression Era." Originally sporting a cowboy hat and leather chaps, he was saddled with the equally talented and deceptively athletic Trevor Murdoch. Together these rugged ruffians captured the world tag team titles on three separate occasions. While Murdoch was depicted as a chaw-chewing Redneck, Lance Cade was cast as the smooth-talking cowboy with devilish good looks. The character carried him farther than he would have imagined into his singles career, eventually aligning with then-heavyweight champion Chris Jericho in 2008. Sadly on August 13, 2010, Lance Cade died at the age of 29 due to heart failure. Two months later medical examiners declared Lance "Cade" McNaught's death accidental, an apparent reaction to the mix of prescription drugs he'd been taking. Although his career was cut tragically short, "Cowboy" Lance Cade will never be forgotten and was even honored in 2011 by a local tribute show in his adopted hometown of San Antonio.

12. Tex Slazenger & Shanghai Pierce
Don't go messing with the country boys, because these two future Godwinn Cousins are far more dangerous than Phineas and Henry would ever prove to be. Well, in theory that is. While they're more familiar to most fans as the former WWF tag team champions, these hard-edged hillbillies got their first taste of fame wrestling as the fearsome Tex Slazenger and the mysterious Shanghai Pierce. Tex was a rootin' tootin' Texas roughneck complete with a ten gallon hat and all the appropriate accoutrement you'd associate with any accurate cowboy costume. Shanghai was a bit different as he opted to sport a luchador mask with a singlet—uh, not so much a cowboy, but definitely intimidating in its own way. Although they never captured championship gold under their southwestern pseudonyms in WCW, Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce were also never adorned with the prestige of "Worst Tag Team in Wrestling"—an honor they received from Pro Wrestling Illustrated in 1996. And then again in 1997.

11. Jimmy Wang Yang
Perhaps the most charismatic individual on our countdown comes in at number eleven. Not only is he one of the youngest Superstars on the list, he's more than likely the only Korean Cowboy in wrestling history. Jimmy Yang was a skilled performer in the dying days of WCW and a key component in its highly inventive Cruiserweight Tag Division. After spending time on the independent circuit and in the WWE playing minor roles, Yang was brought in as a member of the main roster with "Wang" inserted between his first and last name. However instead of playing the Young Dragon whom audiences had already come to know, the WWE was going to draw upon Yang's affinity for country music and NASCAR in order to create an all new type of Superstar. Needless to say 2006 wasn't the most progressive year for the WWE, and a white-trash Korean character was probably just as suitable as The Wrestling Zombie or Paul and Katie Lea Burchill's incest angle. Despite never winning a championship title during his WWE run, Jimmy Wang Yang will always be remembered as one of the most iconic and original cowboys in pro wrestling history.

10. Bobby Duncum Jr.
Bobby Duncum Jr. was a refined second generation wrestling superstar who struggled to make his name after the decline of the territory system. Debuting in 1992, Duncum initially worked as a tag team competitor with the Global Wrestling Federation in Dallas, Texas. Two months into his debut, Bobby Duncum Jr. won his only championship ever —the GWF tag team titles alongside future WWE Champion and Monday Night Raw commentator Johnny "Hawk" Layfield. Although he worked around the world for countless promotions including ECW and All Japan Pro Wrestling, Bobby Duncum Jr. was most famous for his time in WCW as part of the "West Texas Rednecks." Joined by Kendall and Barry Windham, in addition to their leader Curt Hennig, the �Rednecks ran rough-shod over the WCW for a short period in the late 90s, claiming that "Rap is Crap," and entering into a rivalry with hip-hop recording artist Master P. In January of 2000, Duncum was recovering from reconstructive rotator cuff surgery, and accidentally overdosed on a cocktail of pain killers. He was 34 years old, and less than eight years into his career.

9. Sam Houston
The name "Sam Houston" tends to elicit both passion and pride from Texas natives, but unfortunately for Michael Smith, it's not the WWF cowboy whom they happen to admire. Sam Houston was the son of "Grizzly" Smith, and half-brother to both Jake "the Snake" Roberts and "Rockin" Robin. Houston was a well-known enhancement talent throughout the 1980s and 90s, working for Jim Crockett Promotions before finally breaking through to the World Wrestling Federation. He participated in several television matches which usually resulted in his shoulders being pinned to the mat, but even Sam Houston had a "Wrestlemania Moment," when he competed in the 20-man battle royal at Wrestlemania IV. Houston was also in the very first Royal Rumble match with his brother Jake, and though the audience wasn't privy to their relationship, Houston helped save the "Snake" from elimination on a number of occasions. In 2005, Sam Houston was sentenced to ten years in prison for repeated DUI offenses; according to his ex-wife, Houston had an average of 2 DUI-related arrests per year over the previous decade.

8. The Smoking Gunns
You can't say, "wrestling cowboy" to a �90's kid and expect him to think of anything other than The Smoking Gunns. Billy and Bart were a redesigned cowboy for a post-modern, pre-millennial world. They wore spandex made to look like skinny jeans and carried starter pistols which they shot into the air during their entrance. Wrestling cowboys were oftentimes out-of-shape and angry, swinging a cowbell with little regard for the surrounding audience members. But the Kayfabe brothers were different, smiling and shaking hands on their way to the ring and sporting far less menacing facial features than some of the more rugged individuals on our countdown. The �Gunns would become tag team champions on three separate occasions, owing their final title reign to their short-lived manager Sunny, eventually breaking up and going their separate ways. While Billy Gunn's career skyrocketed alongside the Road Dogg and Degeneration X, Bart Gunn stayed true to his roughneck roots, engaging in the highly dangerous, experimental "Brawl for All" shoot-fighting tournament in 1998. After defeating four other Superstars including Bob Holly, Steve Williams, the Godfather, and John Layfield, the last man standing was none other than Bart Gunn.

7. “Outlaw” Ron Bass
While a great deal of wrestling cowboys have been based out of the "Lone Star State," Ron Bass was one such individual proud of his roots in Harrisburg, Arkansas. The "Outlaw," as he would come to be known, was a ruthless heel during the late 1980s in the World Wrestling Federation. Prior to his would-be rivalries with the likes of Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake, Ron Bass enjoyed a steady career touring the vast NWA territory system of the 1970s. He spent time with Jim Crockett as well as several years in Japan, but was most famous for his time in the WWF. In 1988, Ron Bass fought to the end of the King of the Ring tournament, and qualified for the finals by defeating future WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels. However the "Outlaw" would not advance to the main event against Randy Savage—instead choosing to "sell" his victory to the "Million Dollar Man," who would lose to Savage later that night. After nearly 20-years in the squared-circle, Ron Bass retired in 1991 and currently resides in Tampa, Florida.

6. The Funk Family
If I can include a tag team as one entry, then how about an entire family? Even though Dory Funk Sr. was born in Indiana, he will forever be known as the Patriarch of the "Double Cross Ranch" in Amarillo, Texas. After serving in the United States Navy, Funk Sr. began wrestling in Texas and would become a promotor in the Amarillo region where both his sons Dory Jr. and Terry would thrive as superstars. Dory Jr. was regarded as a master in-ring technician, famous for created the "Texas Cloverleaf" finishing hold. His younger brother Terry was the "wild child," much more akin to the cowboy lifestyle of the Amarillo Ranch. The Funk Brothers would make history, by becoming the only brothers in wrestling to each hold the NWA world heavyweight championship. In 2009, Dory and Terry were both honored as they were simultaneously inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Both brothers are still active in the wrestling industry; Dory Funk is the proprietor of the "Funkin' Conservatory" wrestling school in Amarillo, while Terry Funk is well beyond "middle-aged-and-crazy," as he still steps into the ring today at 70.

5. “Cowboy” James Storm
The only cowboy on our countdown that is still currently active inside a televised American wrestling ring is the 13-time tag team champion and former TNA world heavyweight champion, the "Cowboy" James Storm. Storm debuted in 1997 working for various NWA affiliates and the World Wrestling Council in Puerto Rico. After the collapse of WCW, the National Wrestling Alliance sought to fill a void by creating a weekly-PPV series known as Total Nonstop Action. James Storm signed with TNA in 2002 after working an impressive string of matches with then-tag partner "Wildcat" Chris Harris. Over the next four years, the duo known as "America's Most Wanted" would capture the NWA tag titles on six separate occasions. After spending a year on his own, Storm would once again "saddle up" with a partner—this time the "It Factor" Bobby Roode. Storm and Roode came to be called "Beer Money," based on either gentleman's Kayfabe affinity. Today James Storm is the leader of the cult-like "Revolution," and has therefore traded the cowboy hat for a veil of secrecy, and his beer bottle for a solo cup of "Kool-aid."

4. “Cowboy” Bob Orton
Fans of the modern WWE product who are familiar with the "Legend Killer," ought to know that Randy Orton comes from a long-line of wrestling royalty, including his father—"Cowboy" Bob Orton. Bob Orton was a main event attraction around the country during the 1980s but would become world-famous during the Rock �N' Wrestling Connection. Orton was fast friends with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, so it was no surprise when the second generation star known as "Ace" was in "Hot Rod's" corner at the inaugural Wrestlemania in Madison Square Garden. Bob Orton was a key component during the period of time in which wrestling truly became "Sports Entertainment," providing back-up during several renditions of Piper's Pit. Although never achieving a championship during his time with the WWF, "Ace" held numerous titles across various territories in the United States and was named "Rookie of the Year" by PWI in 1973. In 2005, "Cowboy" Bob Orton was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame alongside fellow Wrestlemania pioneers Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, and Paul Orndorff.

3. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Since 2004, JBL has been known as an arrogant aristocrat, riding to the ring in his limousine and winning his bouts by any means necessary. But John Layfield began just the same as many other Texas wrestlers, working for the Global Wrestling Federation in Dallas. He won the tag team titles in 1992 alongside Bobby Duncum Jr., and spent the next three years earning a wrestling education on the independent and international circuits. Layfield debuted for the WWF in 1995 as Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, a badass brandishing a branding-iron who set to "stamping" each of his conquered opponents. In 1997, "Hawk" joined second-generation Superstar Barry Windham to form the "New Blackjacks," a team drawing on their real-life familial connections to the original "Blackjacks" Mulligan and Lanza. The "Bradshaw" character would continue to evolve over the next several years and although he's primarily known today as a talking head for both the WWE and Fox Business, John Layfield is a Grand Slam winning champion, making him THE most decorated cowboy on this entire countdown.

2. The Blackjacks
Transitioning away from the "New Blackjacks," it's about time we discuss the genuine article—the tag team of Blackjack Lanza and Blackjack Mulligan. The tall, dark duo clad in black leather were amongst the most feared tag teams of the 1970s, earning their reputation by standing tall atop numerous fallen combatants. The Blackjacks were an AWA attraction, managed by the incomparable Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, and also competed in Texas for Fritz Von Erich's World Class Championship Wrestling. The Blackjacks eventually made their way to New York where they would continue their reign of terror against a brand new roster of unsuspecting victims. While working for Vince McMahon, the Blackjacks aligned themselves with Captain Lou Albano, who helped guide the already world-renowned wrestlers to the WWWF tag team championships. Of course then in 1997, a "tribute" team was created, comprised of Mulligan's son Barry Windham and Lanza's nephew John Layfield. The Blackjacks were inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006; Blackjack Lanza currently works as a producer for the WWE, while Blackjack Mulligan has two grandsons working on the main roster—Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt.

1. Stan “The Lariat” Hansen
Stan "the Lariat" Hansen is a performer whose mythos goes beyond the realm of cowboys and Indians, and further transcends the atmosphere of professional wrestling entirely. When the sport of sports entertainment was outwardly declared "fake," Stan Hansen lit the international scene on fire with his brand of explicit violence and a charismatic streak that ignited something inside fans across the globe. Stan Hansen was the AWA World Heavyweight champion and even competed for the WWF before earning his true place in history, across the Pacific in the "Land of the Rising Sun." During an infamous encounter with future WCW champion Vader, Hansen managed to clip Leon White with his cowbell, dislodging his eyeball and forcing the "Mastodon" to compete with his eye ajar inside his mask. Although claiming to be from Borger City, Texas—with a "big fat wife and a bunch of kids," the mild-mannered Hansen is actually a resident of Knox City, and has two sons, each of whom is a nationally-recognized baseball player. During his active wrestling days, Stan Hansen garnered a reputation for his no-nonsense approach to business, both inside the ring and backstage with promotors. Since retiring from the squared-circle in 2001, the "Lariat" has made numerous appearances in Japan, where he still receives the same standing ovation he did during his peak in 1981.

Thank you for joining me for this SEVENTH edition of the "Lucky Thirteen." Do yourself a favor and bookmark Cheap-Heat on your computer and in your mobile device so you don’t miss any of our countdowns, columns or coverage. As for me—I think it's about time for this Old Cowpoke to hit that there dusty trail. So until next time, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this has been "Lucky Thirteen: Bandits of the Bout."

http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-13015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-13015/#comments Sun, 01 Feb 2015 13:36:12 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Austin Aries BDC Beat Down Clan Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode Bram Brodus Clay Destination X Eric Young EY Gail Kim Gunner Impact Jeff Hardy Kurt Angle Magnus Matt Hardy Mike Tenay MVP Revolution Rockstar Spud Santino Marella Taryn Terrell TNA Tommy Dreamer Triple H Tyrus Urban Wrestling Federation UWF wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9438 Total Non-Stop Analysis TNA Impact 1/30/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Welcome one and all to the latest and greatest installment of the most concise coverage of TNA's weekly Friday night television series, "Impact Wrestling." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, coming off a week away from my keyboard but back to bring you the […]

Total Non-Stop Analysis
TNA Impact 1/30/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

Welcome one and all to the latest and greatest installment of the most concise coverage of TNA's weekly Friday night television series, "Impact Wrestling." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, coming off a week away from my keyboard but back to bring you the most thought-provoking wrestling reviews this side of the world-wide web. This episode of Impact was of course not without fault, but being only fourth in line for this most recent reboot I have to give the two-hour telecast the benefit of the doubt and award a solid A- for their overall performance. Last week's show featured a very well-constructed street fight right outside the Manhattan Center in New York City—will this week's follow-up contain the same sort of high-octane excitement, or are we heading down another regrettable wrestling rabbit hole? Let's quit running our mouths and discuss what stood out this week on Destination America.

Just because TNA is a fraction of the WWE in terms of size, that's not to assume Impact Wrestling doesn't do a few things better than the industry leader. For example, I truly value the way in which TNA manages to highlight the events from previous episodes without relying on a 25-minute in-ring talking segment. This episode began with a two-minute recap from last week, followed by the former champion Bobby Roode escorting the TNA World title to the six-sided ring. "What I have in my hand right now, unfortunately doesn't belong to me. But this championship means more to me than anything else in this world," began Bobby Roode, looking down at the leather and gold for which he's put his life on the line. "I have dedicated my entire life to this championship. Professional wrestling is my life! It's how I support my family; it is a passion and this TNA World Heavyweight championship represents everything in this company." Roode went on to explain how he lost the belt to Bobby Lashley on January 7th thanks to the combined efforts of his former best friend Eric Young, MVP and the Beat Down Clan. Bobby Roode isn't just called the "It Factor," as he lives his character every day of his life. TNA oftentimes gets a bad rap for their booking, but not much negative can be said regarding their talent, especially icons of the past decade like Bobby Roode. "We were closer than blood," Roode continued, now staring directly into the camera as if speaking to EY, "I will not rest, so help me god, until I spill yours! [Blood]" Bobby then turned the tables from his beef with the BDC to his standing predicament with the current TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Bobby Lashley. Roode called Lashley down to the ring so that they could settle their issues like men. Lashley of course answered the call, eager to regain his property, and walked down to ringside rocking an amazing track suit and gingham cap combination. "This world heavyweight championship belongs to you, and I'm man enough to give it back." As the belt switched from hand to hand, Roode clutched the gold for a moment longer, "But it's not going to be that easy. Because I'm owed a rematch." The crowd erupted, only to further unhinge themselves when Roode added: "And I want my rematch tonight." Lashley accepted Bobby Roode's challenge for a championship opportunity, and began turning toward the back. But Roode had different plans in mind: "Why wait," he asked? The former champion was ready for his rematch right now. Lashley turned back but before the two could engage in battle, the music hit and one of the Feast or Fired recipients was ready to join the fight. Austin Aries walked to the ring, holding his world title briefcase proudly as if to remind the behemoths in the ring as to who the true number one contender in TNA was. "I know! I know! I'm not a referee! I'm not the guy you were looking for, I'm sorry," Austin Aries approached the ring, "Actually I'm not sorry." The boisterous Manhattan crowd grew unruly as they chanted, "Austin Aries," almost immediately forgetting the two main eventers already inside the six-sided circle. "I always find myself in this position guys, I'm always the man that has the most options." Austin went on to explain how he revolutionized Destination X by introducing Option C, and directly related his success to his current prized possession—the Feast or Fired briefcase for the TNA championship. "Do I cash this in right now, in my dapper street clothes? Or do I take a seat outside, get myself some vegan popcorn, watch you guys have one hell of an athletic, draining world title match—and then cash it in? So many choices. So many options…" Now ten minutes in and fifteen minutes shy of the WWE 25-minute mark for opening segments, the final piece to the main event puzzle appears without his BDC brothers, the man who outsmarted Lashley last week in a wintertime street fight, MVP. The former United States champion has a habit of delivering one-too-many in-ring promos from week to week, effectively rendering him the Triple H of Impact Wrestling. But much like the King of Kings, MVP so-too-serves as a prominent role model for what a consummate professional wrestler is all about. Ignoring his less-than-stellar in-ring performances over the years, Montel Vontavious Porter has managed to make himself a very valuable commodity inside the wrestling industry. Now arriving on scene to add to the already tense situation spilling over from inside the ring, MVP singles each of his adversaries out, beginning with Austin Aries and finishing with a man he claims to be disappointed in, Bobby Lashley. MVP continues to tell Lashley that the TNA title doesn't belong to him, but to the entire Beat Down Clan, "And you know this!" MVP wants Bobby Lashley to kick Roode and Aries to the side, and make this a one-on-one confrontation between the former "brothers," Lashley and Montel. Lashley tells Aries to save his briefcase for another time because he's "going to need it," and instead gives all three men an opportunity for the title in a four-way dance.

Back from the first break and just fifteen minutes into the broadcast, we've already seen previews for matches to come, including a Monsters Ball between Jeff Hardy and Abyss. Kurt Angle appears on screen: "Being able to fight has awoken the American Hero inside of me. The man that's gone to war with the biggest names in the business. And next week at Lockdown, it's gonna be Team Angle versus the BDC. And I'm looking for the biggest, baddest, best wrestlers in this industry. And by the end of tonight, I'm gonna have my team assembled. Oh it's real. It's damn real." Next up the Knockouts Championship is on the line, as it is almost every week it seems. We're first introduced to Madison Rayne, who by my account has the absolute worst entrance music in the history of professional wrestling. Her first of two adversaries is the former TNA Knockout and WWE Diva's champion Gail Kim, followed by the current champion Taryn Terrell. I'm coming around to Terrell, although I wish she'd ditch her country pop rock theme song, which seems to be a detriment to more than one TNA talent. One of WCW's toughest challenges during its infancy was breaking free of the regional status it garnered during the Crockett Era. A constant catalysts in the evolution of wrestling has always been promotors willing to learn from past mistakes, so why do so many Impact wrestlers and knockouts come to the ring to music that only appeals to a specific subgroup of Americans? I'm not devaluing country music whatsoever, as the same argument can be made for the now defunct Urban Wrestling Federation and their frivolous usage of hip hop. Before I get back to the action, I'd like to complain about one more thing: When is the last time we saw a one-on-one knockout match? Since the company re-launched on Destination America we've seen the same basic multi-woman bouts ending with a blackout and a Kong-Havok stare down. I think the Knockouts are far more favorable to the Divas inside the ring, but anyone who points out the flawed nature of WWE booking needs to take a step back and assess the current Knockout situation as well. There is in fact a forest beyond those blonde and brunette trees, everybody. Back to the match: Gail Kim is a real talent in the wrestling industry. From the bell, she launches herself into the action and demands her one-on-one opportunity with Taryn Terrell. Kim takes Taryn to the "Wood Shed," as Good Ol' JR would put it, only to allow an opening for Madison Rayne to reenter the affair and turn the tides in her own favor. I can't take anything away from Madison, as her lack of knowledge between the ropes and off-putting persona adds greatly to the heel character she's currently being asked to play. She even had a highlight moment when she performed what the announcers referred to as a "Diamond Cutter and DDT" combination. Madison's inexperience gets the best of her as she falls victim to a submission hold by the crafty Kim, which is then capitalized upon by Taryn Terrell. It's a three-women hardcore extravaganza when the fight spills to the outside; the diabolical Madison Rayne is less reliant on wrestling holds, and more in her element, dumping the TNA Knockout champion face-first into the steel steps. By this point I've not once—but TWICE said, "Holy shit," reacting to the bumps these wonderful workers are willing to take. I'm not saying the Bella Twins couldn't take an over-the-top spill to the concrete floor, I'm just pointing out that they haven't. Madison is in control, delivering a face buster to Gail Kim into the same steps. Back in the ring, Madison waves cordially to the crowd and dives back to the outside, face first into the guard rail. Taryn takes advantage and the two battle back into the ring. Kim gets back in the action, but Terrell capitalizes on the confusion with a very impressive Diamond Cutter, leading to a three count for the retaining champion.

Another break and more promotion for next week's very special Lockdown television event on Destination America, followed by an up-close encounter with the former corporate world champion Magnus. He says that the TNA camera crew has a habit of filming whatever they like, so in response he invited them to witness a positive interaction between him and his recently estranged best friend. He says that he invited Bram to meet him at a local bar, and wants the TNA audience to see them talk things out like men. "If we have an issue, we have a drink and we talk it out. And that's what we're going to do right now." Rockstar Spud and the winner of British Bootcamp Mark Andrews are out on the streets of the Big Apple sight-seeing; Spud misidentifies the Empire State Building as the Washington Monument, and then correctly spots the Manhattan Center clear across the street. Spud's suits are the inanimate anthropomorphic personification of Nickelodeon in the early 1990's; his outfit this evening is orange and green and yellow and purple and splattered with paint, as he reminds the television audience of the current problems between Ethan Carter and Jeremy Borash. The two are in a hurry as they prepare for their upcoming interaction with EC3 and Tyrus—but first, they're going to go see the White House, which Spud claims is "three blocks away" from the Manhattan Center. Back inside, Tommy Dreamer walks to the ring to a decent enough reaction, although the fans are chanting for "E-C-W," not the hardcore legend or his "House of Hardcore" promotion. As he circled the stage preparing to address the TNA audience, he swiped a plastic cup of beer from a fan at ringside and took a swig, before entering the ring with a smile on his face. Tommy tells his faithful fans that he's never lied to them and never will, and requests the presence of Eric Young. Young appears wearing a Bobby Roode shirt, and enters the ring sneering at the patrons inside the Manhattan Center. "This has got nothing to do with you," he tells Tommy, coming within an inch of his face, "Stay out of my business." Tommy tells Eric that he and Bobby Roode were the first people in TNA that shook his hand when he came onboard. "I've seen you go from a nothing joke to the heavyweight champion of this company," Tommy compared himself to Young in their similar struggles to achieve world heavyweight greatness, but Young wanted nothing to do with Dreamer, nor his pleas for peace. "You're a good guy Tommy—you're a real good guy! Look where being a good guy got you; you're a fat loser from this dump. " Tommy turned away, to which Eric took offense, "You don't turn away from me! I don't want to burn a bridge with Bobby Roode," he told the 25-year veteran, "I want to blow it up!" At this point Dreamer became somewhat condescending and swore EY was continuing to make mistakes, even accusing the former champion of never asking Roode for the title shot he was seeking. "This is all over the world title, did you ever ask him for a title shot," Dreamer demanded to know? The intensity rose between Tommy Dreamer and Eric Young, who might I say is sporting a very stylish head of hair these days. Words almost escaped EY, as he searched for the proper response to Dreamers inquiry. Before a syllable could be spoken, the treacherous Young kicked Tommy and delivered a powerful pile-driver to the ECW icon. Never one to be outdone by his own actions, Eric hit the ringside area and assaulted a crew member to attain a steel chair. He tossed the chair into the ring in an apparent attempt to capitalize on a downed-Dreamer, then to be met by the man he turned on four weeks ago—Bobby Roode! Roode stood tall, fending off a rabid "Showtime" Eric Young, saving Tommy Dreamer from any further punishment.

Matt and Jeff Hardy are on hand cutting a promo regarding next week's Lockdown event on Destination America. Jeff is undoubtedly the more daring and enjoyable Hardy to watch inside the ring, but Matt is a quick-witted talent whose promo skills and gifts to the industry shouldn't go overlooked when talking about the Hardy Boyz as a whole. Next week Matt and Jeff are going head-to-head with the tag team champions James Storm and Abyss inside the six-sides of steel. But as for tonight, Jeff says he has a "violent dance" with Abyss at the Monster's Ball. It's such a big deal, he says, that he invited a few friends—trashcan lids, barbed wire bats, and kendo sticks to name a few. Back out in the bitter cold, Magnus is walking into the local watering hole to meet Bram; I want to know where this large, yet seemingly unpopular pub in midtown Manhattan might be located. Bram is getting HAMMERED, hanging his head amongst a valley of "fallen soldiers" AKA empty beer bottles. Magnus sits beside Bram and orders another round. Bram argues with Magnus about the finish to the Feast or Fired contest last week on Impact. Magnus tells Bram that his victory benefits both men because it's a tag team opportunity. "Who's my tag team partner gonna be—Crazy Steve? No it's going to be you, ya big dummy." The two seem to sort their situation out amidst a menagerie of uncomfortable comments, all while Bram embraced a rock solid cue ball from the billiard table. Finally Bram suggests they leave and head around the corner for Thai food; on the way out the door, Magnus turns toward the exit and Bram instead sends him into the bowels of the building because it's "quicker." Once realizing there's no way out, Magnus turns around only to be blindsided by the blood-thirsty Bram. After repeatedly tossing Magnus into a steel door, Bram retrieved the curious cue ball from his jacket pocket and smashed it over the back of Magnus's skull. Cameras are backstage in the Manhattan Center where Kurt Angle approaches Gunner regarding his position in the company and propositions him to join Team Angle next week at Lockdown, an offer Gunner willingly accepts. The excitement continues down in the basement where Abyss and Jeff Hardy aren't willing to wait for their scheduled bell time. They battle within the narrow hall way and into a standing-room-only audience. Abyss breaks the barricade apart in order to enter the ringside area and is soon met with a barrage of impromptu weaponry beginning with a steel chair. Josh Matthews tells the television audience that Abyss has been in 95% of the "televised" Monsters Ball matches over the years, though his experience doesn't seem to do him any favors as Jeff Hardy continues to punish the Monster. Abyss hits Hardy with a few impactful power moves and introduces an array of weapons to the ring, including the dreaded cheese grater. The incredibly fast pace of the contest slowed to a stop when Jeff Hardy attempted an awe-inspired aerial maneuver that instead saw him soar through the folding table at ringside. Abyss took this as his cue to introduce a felt bag of thumbtacks to the match—much to my chagrin. Thumbtacks have an absurdly high statistical presence in TNA, so I was ecstatic when Hardy answered the call and stopped Abyss from emptying the bag. Instead we get an even more unenlightened piece of hardware—the black piece of wood surrounded by spikes known as "Janice." The Monsters Ball is interrupted by the entire Revolution who attack Jeff, as well as Matt who attempted to rescue his brother. Coming to the aid of the fallen Hardy Boyz is perhaps their most unlikely of allies, the Wolves. Once the score is settled and the focus returns to Abyss and Jeff Hardy, the Monster manages to litter the six-sided ring with hundreds of razor sharp thumbtacks. Abyss climbed the ropes to where Jeff was seated on the top turn buckle and attempted to perform a super-plex. The former world champion fought the Monster away and instead reversed his efforts into a sit-down powerbomb. Jeff once again ascended to the top rope, and finished Abyss with his patented Swanton Bomb amid a sea of thumbtacks.

Backstage Kurt Angle is on the phone still seeking to assemble his "Dream Team" for next week's Lethal Lockdown encounter with the Beat Down Clan. The night is winding down, and aside from the combatants of the penultimate match, everyone is getting ready for the four way championship battle for the belt, including former champion Austin Aries. Austin says Bobby Lashley's willingness to give him a title shot without cashing in his briefcase speaks to the type of confidence Lashley has as a champion, a trait Aries admittedly admires. As Rockstar Spud and Mark Andrews prepare to exact their revenge against Ethan Carter and Tyrus, they are surprised when EC3 enters the arena dressed in a suit to inform them of a slight change in booking. Instead of Carter and the former Brodus Clay, the British junior heavyweights will be wrestling Robbie E and Jesse Goddard of the Bromans. A decent enough competitive match that served to display the phenomenal athleticism of Mark Andrews, as well as the immense versatility of Rockstar Spud. Up until now much of the TNA and American audiences have seen Spud much the same as Santino Marella, a comedy act with little in the way of professional wrestling prowess. Those of us nerds that follow the European indies know that Spud is a charismatic young talent who is destined for great things should TNA pull the trigger on him as a prominent athlete. Some fun stuff from Angelina Love, the last remaining "Beautiful Person" now that her comrade Velvet Sky is no longer under contract. In the end the match was of course won by the lightning quick underdogs who finished their competition with a tag team combination ending with a shooting star press by "Mandrews." Following the bell, the duo had little time to celebrate as Tyrus took to the ring in an attempt to obliterate the smaller-statured stars before they could gain any momentum. After decimating them beyond conceivable repair, Tyrus walked away. They lay demolished inside the ring, but only for a moment until Spud mustered the strength to beckon the beast back for one more battle—this time inside the six-sides of steel. This time next week at TNA Lockdown on Destination America.

The main event is upon us and Austin Aries is the first of the four competitors to be announced, followed by MVP who has been considerably absent compared to weeks past. The "It Factor" Bobby Roode is the third man to make his entrance, followed of course by the current TNA World Heavyweight champion, this time in possession of his title belt, Bobby Lashley. I really enjoy Lashley these days, who works much the same as WWE World Heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar; each champion is presented as a legitimate ass-kicker who can't be concerned with appealing to the crowd. Both Brock and Bobby enter the ring and hold their titles high regardless of the reaction they might expect from the fans. Bobby Lashley doesn't need to cheat to win, and he doesn't need to pander to get over—he just needs to wrestle, and that will in-turn define who he is as a competitor. Matthews and Taz make mention of Mike Tenay's TNA Power Rankings, specifically citing Bobby Lashley as number one, MVP as two, Aries as three—with Low Ki and EY rounding out the Top Five. Way to bury one of the wrestlers in the current bout, not to mention one of the most loyal and top-drawing stars in the company. This match is off and running and MVP hits the outside of the ring in an attempt to escape immediate competition. Roode and Aries head him off, sending him back into the ring and right in line with his most hated of enemies Bobby Lashley. The match begins as an anti-MVP "Beat Down," no pun intended, but quickly switches to a standard four way battle, pitting Lashley against Roode inside the ring, with Aries and MVP fighting on the outskirts of camera-view. Aries soon returns to action, attacking Bobby Roode and allowing MVP his own opportunity to reengage in competition. The war wages across the commercial break, and we're soon back in the middle of the action. Bobby Lashley, who has been conspicuous by his absence, returns to the ring, only to miss a spear and exit through the ropes once more. Aries capitalizes and performs a fluid suicide dive onto the champion, leaving MVP in control as he stomps Bobby Roode down into a bottom turnbuckle. MVP continues to put his evolution as a performer on display as he keeps both Roode and Aries at bay, until Bobby Lashley returns to join the fight once more. A litany of high spots including a powerbomb/super-plex combination make for an exciting few remaining moments of television until Eric Young joined the fray and took Roode out of the equation. Aries prepared for another suicide dive on MVP who was stranded on the sidelines, but was instead turned inside-out by a catastrophic spear from the Destroyer Bobby Lashley. Lashley retains his title, only to be assaulted by the BDC. MVP swipes the belt again and holds it high, until the entire team is run off by Kurt Angle and Gunner. Lashley managed to keep his belt as he stood alongside Kurt Angle, staring daggers into the wily Beat Down Clan. Bobby Roode tells Eric Young that he wants him inside the cage next week at Lockdown, "I'm going to make you pay. But most importantly, I'm going to make you bleed!" Kurt Angle begins to talk about the numbers game played by the BDC, but Austin Aries grabs the microphone and quickly volunteers himself for one of the two vacant spots on Team Angle. Once Austin was onboard, Kurt took it upon himself to recruit the champion, who was quick to tell both MVP and Kurt, that he isn't going to be on anyone's team. Who will be the fourth man on Team Angle next week in Lethal Lockdown?

There were a few slow moving instances particularly around the Monsters Ball Match, but everything including the barroom brawl was at least enjoyable. I spoke earlier at what TNA might do better than the WWE and I dare say they pace their show much better than Monday Night Raw. Smackdown is a different story as it too is only two hours, but maybe that's the burden of a three hour broadcast? Look what happened to Nitro, after all. TNA Impact manages to get its point across with as few words as possible per promo, now it's just a matter of cutting down the number of promos. There should most certainly be more than three matches on a two hour wrestling show, so while the talking segments are well produced and intelligible, they should be limited in terms of how many we get per hour. I thought the best match of the evening without question was the four way dance for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, but I also enjoyed the spectacle put on by Taryn Terrell, Gail Kim, and Madison Rayne. Remember next week is TNA's very special Lockdown, a former pay-per-view extravaganza available for free on Destination America. I'm looking forward to the event, and I also look forward to next week's edition of "Total Nonstop Analysis." Until then my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you that sports entertainment is well and good, but WRESTLING is alive and well.