http://www.cheap-heat.com WWE, TNA, ROH, NJPW - Blogs, Reviews, Top Lists, Indy News & Results Sun, 20 Sep 2015 01:35:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.3.1

http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/scraping-the-barrel-tna-impact-82615/#comments Sun, 30 Aug 2015 14:27:48 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Abyss Bobby Roode Bubba Ray Dudley Bully Ray Dixie Carter Dollhouse Drew Galloway GFW Global Force Wrestling Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Jarrett Karen Jarrett Knockout's Manik Pro Wrestling Revolution Sonjay Dutt Taryn Terrell Tigre Uno TNA TNA Impact Velvet Sky WWE WWE Network WWE Universe Youtube http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=13871 It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to […]

It’s been a long week but I’m finally back! Welcome to "Scraping the Barrel"—the once-weekly video countdown series that tries to pick at least five enjoyable moments from TNA Impact on Destination America. I thought this was at least an enjoyable two hours of wrestling; nothing incredibly offensive in terms of booking caused me to step back in horror. Perhaps it's coming off an incredibly jam-packed WWE weekend, but I went into this week's episode of Impact with higher hopes than usual. I think I was probably just ready for something different. Let's start Scraping the Barrel , and see what comes in at number five.

5. Rebel is the Newest Member of the Doll House!

Click here to view the embedded video.

4. Chris Melendez Relinquishes His Leg to Eric Young

Click here to view the embedded video.

3. The �Wolves vs. The Revolution for the Tag Team Titles

Click here to view the embedded video.

2. Sonjay Dutt vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno for the X-Division Title

Click here to view the embedded video.

1. Who is responsible for the recent attacks on TNA talent?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News !

http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-61015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-61015/#comments Fri, 12 Jun 2015 01:29:15 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Reviews Austin Aries Awesome Kong Grado Kurt Angle Rockstar Spud Taryn Terrell TNA TNA Impact TNA Wrestling wrestling WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12334 It's been two weeks since I've been afforded any time to write my Total Nonstop Analysis column. This was much easier to get done when Impact was a Friday Night show. Now I have to write reviews for four shows in one evening, and that's not including Smackdown when I watch the Canadian version a […]

It's been two weeks since I've been afforded any time to write my Total Nonstop Analysis column. This was much easier to get done when Impact was a Friday Night show. Now I have to write reviews for four shows in one evening, and that's not including Smackdown when I watch the Canadian version a day early. So yeah, Wednesday's are pretty damn busy! But that's no excuse. I'm back and ready to attack—my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and if you're looking for a fair and balanced look at the world outside of World Entertainment Television, then you've come to the right place!

This week's episode of TNA Impact is the annual "Destination X" extravaganza, and begins with a video highlighting the X-Division. Backstage—or in Nashville, whatever—is Josh Matthews, who is joined by the "Pope" D'Angelo Dinero, once known as Elijah Burke. Tonight will feature several championship matches, including multiple opportunities at Kurt Angle's world title. Christy Hemme introduces the opening contest as one such world championship match, but Ethan Carter enters the arena, rather than either participant. Carter is angry, because he is the official number one contender is not featured in either world title match tonight. He demands a steel chair from ringside, and "cancels Destination X," with what he refers to as "an old fashioned sit-in." Carter dares anybody to come try and break up his strike, and he is met by the world champion Kurt Angle. Kurt tells Ethan to "shut his damn mouth," and calls Carter a "whiny bitch complaining about nothing." Both men escalate the intensity to the point where EC3 is forced to retreat. It's cool, how Angle bullied the rightful number one contender out of the match. That's awesome. Instead of Carter versus Angle, a match that I for one would LOVE to see, we get ROCKSTAR SPUD versus Angle. A match I couldn't care less about. Spud traded his newly-won X-Division championship for a title opportunity in what Austin Aries introduced as "Option C." Spud makes his way to ringside and completely bypasses Carter—he means business, and stares straight ahead toward Kurt Angle. If I can be honest—I would love to see Rockstar Spud win the world title, and go on to enjoy a lengthy underdog reign ala Rey Mysterio or Shawn Michaels. But against Kurt Angle? I just don't see it happening.

Jeremy Borash makes the introductions, which is really weird, considering Christy Hemme was just inside the ring trying to do the same thing. Carter forced Christy to leave, so why didn't she return when Carter left? Why did JB do the announcement? That's a plot hole, TNA. Spud relies heavily on his speed and aerial offensive against the 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist. For those of you keeping score at home, the 1996 Summer Olympics were 19 years ago. Rockstar Spud was thirteen years old when Kurt Angle " "broke his friggin neck!" Moving on—Rockstar Spud is incredibly impressive throughout the course of this match. Anybody who knows what Spud is capable of, knows that he is a bona fied contender for the TNA World title, but I'm not sure anyone would have expected him to give Kurt Angle such a run for his money. I make fun of the "Wrestling Machine" for his age and outdated Bob Backlund presentation, but facts are facts: there aren't many wrestlers on this earth who can stand toe-to-toe with Kurt Angle. And I'm not talking about Kurt in his prime, because he's always in his prime. Even when he was 60 pounds lighter and dead-eyed from drugs and divorce, he was among the best in the world. So anything I have to say about Kurt Angle comes from a place of respect and admiration. That being said—god this fucking match sucks. Just a lot of running and diving. Nobody is running the ropes, nobody is using the ring. They're just doing moves and chasing one another. When all was said and done, Kurt Angle achieved victory following an iron-clad ankle lock, which forced the scrappy Spud to submit. Kurt Angle will keep his title belt for the time being, but whether he takes the strap back to Pittsburgh remains to be seen. Kurt will battle Austin Aries for the same championship later tonight.

Taryn Terrell arrives alongside the rest of the Dollhouse, and challenges Awesome Kong to a "Lingerie Pillow Fight." She tells Kong that if she wants a shot at the championship, then she'll need to fight her wearing a skimpy pink nighty, otherwise there's no deal. There's a quick vignette for the upcoming X-Division Championship matches featuring every high flyer left in the company—and Grado. And if you're wondering if I'm being mean, I'm not! That's how they sold Grado to us: "And Grado." Does it seem to anybody else like the X-Division title is ALWAYS vacant? All of the participants were square off in triple threat competition—the winner of those matches will then go on to compete for the X-Division title. This first match includes the Beat Down Clan's Low Ki, the Revolution's Manik, and the Menagerie's Crazzy Steve. Well—not really the Menagerie, because Crazzy Steve is the only one left. And is it Crazzy or Crazy? I know it's SPELT with two Z's regardless, but is it Crazzy like Hazy or Crazzy like Jazzy. Jazzy Steve would be cooler, I think. Low Ki is without question the favorite to win this match, as he has had the most success, not only within the X-Division, but in professional wrestling. He's the only man in the ring to have worked for TNA, WWE and Ring of Honor—where he was the first ROH World Champion. Kenny King presents an interesting dynamic in terms of Low Ki's inclusion in the competition. Both men are members of the BDC, so one must wonder if they'll make it to the finals together. And if so, will it prove beneficial to their success, or a detriment to their championship aspirations? Low Ki does in fact pick up the victory following the "Warriors Way" double foot stomp to the chest of Manik.

Grado is a very endearing character, and it's quite apropos that he became involved with the TNA main product on June 10 ^th of all days, just hours before the sad passing of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Grado is a walking, talking inadvertent homage to Dusty and his brand of Sports Entertainment. Like Dusty, Grado is just a common man—with a few extra pounds, and the love of his family and friends. I think the �Dream would really like Grado, and I hope they had the chance to meet when Grado was visiting the Performance Center several weeks back. In addition to the �Dream, Grado also reminds me of British comedy star Matt Lucas, who audiences might recognize from "Little Britain," "Come Fly with Me," and that dreadful Comedy Central series "Crod Mandoon." Like Lucas, Grado has a penchant for physical comedy and tells captivating stories just by using the expressions plastered across his face. I'm not use to putting over any aspect of TNA this much, I hope the next segment is stupid and pointless and gives me a reason to bitch.

Last week James Storm pushed Mickie James in front of a train. What? Moving on.

Up next is the second of three X-Division triple threat matches. We don't get any entrances, and once we return from commercial, this match is well underway. This is most certainly the C-String of the three matches, and features DJ Zema Ion versus Tigre Uno versus Mandrews. All three men are incredibly capable inside the ring, especially DJ Z, but I don't for one moment believe that any of these combatants will become X-Division Champion. The referee for this match is TNA Senior Official Earl Hebner. I wonder how old school referees like "Baby Earl" keep up with the fast pace of X-Division matches and the like? Now that Tommy Young is retired, it seems that Earl Hebner is the senior most referee—in the industry? This match continues as DJ Z encounters the most long term success, and even receives the added support from the audience. He hits a plancha on his opponents and falls back into a sea of wrestling fans who are happy to slap him five and yell: "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-burn!" Tigre Uno comes out of nowhere and sidelines DJ Z. He flies from the top rope, contorting himself in midair, and landed on Mandrews face with a big knee. Tigre Uno will go on to the finals alongside Low Ki, where they will wrestle—uh, that remains to be seen! Once the bell rang, Jesse Goddard made a surprise appearance and looked very impressive. The Bromans broke up just a few weeks back and Goddard dismantled his former partner Robbie E. Tonight Jesse set to dominate his former "hype man" DJ Z. He powerbombed Z, and Gorilla Press Slammed him outside of the ring. Very awesome display by a professional wrestler that I have perhaps overlooked for a long time. I'm very interested to see what comes out of Jesse Goddard in the next few weeks.

Taryn Terrell made the challenge and Awesome Kong is ready to accept! This is a "Lingerie Pillow Fight," with a bed in the ring, covered in blue and red pillows. After several seconds of anticipated delay, the music hit and Awesome Kong appeared, NOT wearing the "regulation lingerie." Terrell was angered at Kong's decision to "ruin play time," as she put it, and ordered Marti Bell and Jade to deal with the former Knockouts Champion. Kong dragged them out of the ring and wasted little time in knocking their skulls together, and fought them to the backstage area. Taryn demanded that Christy Hemme declare her the champion, but Christy refused. Brooke made her presence known and told Taryn that "having a �Lingerie Pillow Fight' for the TNA Knockouts Championship is a new low—even for her." The two Knockouts—and former ECW Diva's—exchanged bitter words, before Brooke finally set her sights on the champion. She hammered away and punished Taryn with a barrage of closed-fists, and ultimately stole her robe, exposing Taryn's lingerie.

We've arrived at the halfway point of the program—which is awesome for those of us who are typing along with the action. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are talking backstage about Aries' championship opportunity, and Roode tells him that if he wins, he gets the first opportunity. Damn Bobby Roode is fucking obsessed with the god damn title, am I wrong? I understand that it should be every athlete's prerogative to become world champion, but there's got to be more in terms of character motivation. At least creatively, no? Maybe I'm overthinking it.

We're onto the third of three X-Division Triple threat matches, where either Kenny King or Grado will go on to face Low Ki and Tigre Uno for the X-Division championship. Either Kenny King or Grado? Yeah—Cruz isn't fucking winning. Lo siento Cubanos. Grado is the best, I'm telling you. He's a fat dude with tattoos, a fitted affixed with his name, and a goddamn fanny pack! A FANNY PACK! You had me at "fanny." This is the B-level match, coming in just under the initial bout featuring Low Ki. Kenny King is in control for a considerable portion of the match, putting the boots to both Grado and Cruz, and showing why the Beat Down Clan is as dangerous as they claim to be. Cruz is oftentimes the odd man out in this equation, but that's not to say he wasn't impressive enough in his efforts against two established performers. Cruz's mask looks like the Willow Mask. Is Cruz Willow? Like the sentient embodiment of the Willow character? I'm too high for this. Grado and Kenny King exchange shots, competing for the final spot in the X-Division finals, but it is the Scottish Playboy that earns the 1-2-3! Grado hits Cruz with a spellbinding rolling thunder and pins him square in the center of the ring. I love Grado. And I love his music.

"There's a lot of talk about how the X-Division made history. The fact that it helped TNA." After stealing a camera and making "Blair Witch" style threats backstage, Bram is now inside the six sided ring, addressing the fans in Orlando. "Slammiversary is a celebration of the history of TNA. Well you know what? I absolutely history. And also, I bloody hate the past. Which is exactly why I am calling out any past TNA star. So how about you walk your ass out here, get in this ring an fight me! The past, the present, and the bloody future will be rewritten by ME! So, who's got the balls?" I have to say, now that Bram isn't stalking Magnus, he's far more entertaining. His opponent is going to be—Crimson? Some dude named Tom follows me on Twitter and said: "I can't believe the fans didn't react to Crimson." I told Tom: "I can't believe you expected the fans to react to Crimson." For those that might not recall, Crimson is a seven-foot tall red haired Matt Morgan character with tattoos. His gimmick is the color red. You know, like the Undertaker before he was the Undertaker. In fact, I reckon Crimson is actually an Alternate-Earth Mark Calaway that never actually became the Undertaker. That's an interesting theory that I think I'll explore in greater detail in the near future. So uh—yeah, Bram is wrestling Crimson, because I guess if you're going to do the returning "star" gimmick, you've got to start somewhere. Crimson looked decent enough, starting things off with a fury of fists and a beautiful suplex, but it was only a matter of time before Bram earned the advantage. What the fuck was that guy on Twitter talking about? The fans are chanting for Crimson! Fuck you Tom! �Cause you know I'm not going to go back and delete that previous section. That would imply I plan to proofread this. Ha! Crimson locked Bram in the "Rings of Saturn," and nearly won the match, but Bram managed to make it to the ropes, forcing the break. Bram picked up the win over a returning Crimson with his "Brighter Side of Suffering" signature DDT.

We're on to the main event for the evening—the second of two world title matches, this time pitting the title holder Kurt Angle against "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" Austin Aries. Should it not be the "Greatest Man WHO Ever Lived?" That's—that's really troublesome to me. Not the fact that it's wrong, the fact that I don't know if it's wrong. I'm gonna hit up the old "Elements of Style" by Strunk and White when I'm done and I'll find out. I'll let you guys know. Brian Hebner looks like a dirty cop. You know? Like he's constantly on the take, or something? The kind of guy that keeps a secret family across the city somewhere, like in Training Day? He just looks like a creep. He looks like he lives in Florida, and that is not a good look. This match is far more enjoyable than I expected it to be, and outdid the previous match by leaps and bounds. Austin Aries is a very precise wrestler, just the same as Kurt Angle, and neither man wastes time with pointless movement. Aries is far more mat-savvy than Rockstar Spud, making this an almost even encounter between the ropes. But Aries has more than just a ground game, and proves to be more than Angle expected when he starts taking it to the record-setting TNA Hall of Famer from the top rope. Angle fights back with overhead belly to back Suplexes, and double under hook take downs, proving his prowess inside the ring. Aries takes the fight to Angle and has the champion reeling in the corner, but Angle reverses Aries' advance and applies an Ankle Lock for good measure. Aries reached the ropes, but Angle came back with an Angle slam for a near-fall.

Both men are operating on fumes, praying for the other to make a mistake before it's too late. Kurt Angle goes for his signature moonsault and misses; Aries applies "Last Chancery" to Kurt Angle, who struggles for the ropes, unwilling to tap as his face turns purple. Aries couldn't believe the intensity of Kurt Angle, but once again sought to soar from the sky. He ascended the ropes, and as per usual, Angle leapt to his feet and met his opponent on the top rope. Aries boxed Angle's ears and continued to fend off his advances until finally hitting a 450 splash for the nearest of near falls. Both men went shot for shot in the center of the ring until Aries hit a devastating Brain Buster. Angle saved himself by putting his foot on the rope, causing Aries to argue with Detective Brian Hebner, Orlando Vice. Aries hooked Angle in his own submission move, hoping to achieve victory, but was reversed into an authentic Ankle Lock from the Master. Aries rolled through again, reversing Angle's attempts, and sending him to the floor. Aries followed up with a truly suicide dive to nobody but the steel barricade. Kurt Angle rolled Aries' lifeless body back into the ring where he finally defeated Aries with the Ankle Lock. After the bell, Ethan Carter appeared and attacked Kurt Angle to close the show.

I thought this was a pretty damn good episode of TNA Impact. Let's look at the competition: Lucha Underground , Ring of Honor , NXT , and even Smackdown in various international markets. So where did TNA Impact rank? I think it could have been the best show of the night. Granted, I haven't seen Smackdown yet, but it was most certainly more enjoyable than NXT, ROH or Lucha. Just my opinion, and I'd love to get yours, either in the comments below or on Twitter!

Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-32015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-nonstop-analysis-tna-lockdown-32015/#comments Sun, 22 Mar 2015 03:17:41 +0000 Cassidy Haynes Other Reviews Reviews Angelina Love Austin Aries Awesome Kong BDC Beat Down Clan Bobby Lashley Bram Bro Mans Davey Richards DJ Z DJ Zema Earl Hebner Eddie Edwards Gail Kim Great Sanada Impact James Storm Jesse Godderz Kurt Angle Low Ki Magnus Manik Matt Hardy Rockstar Spud Samoa Joe Taryn Terrell Taz The Revolution The Wolves TNA wrestling Zema Ion http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=10580 Total Nonstop Analysis TNA Lockdown 3/20/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Long Beach, and the sun is just now starting to peak through the hazy daze of Southern California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm in a fantastic mood this weekend because I'm just a few […]

Total Nonstop Analysis
TNA Lockdown 3/20/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Long Beach, and the sun is just now starting to peak through the hazy daze of Southern California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm in a fantastic mood this weekend because I'm just a few hours away from launching the very first episode of my new podcast, "The B+ Players," right here at Cheap-Heat.com. I'm back with you once again to offer the most concise coverage of TNA Impact you're bound to find anywhere on the world wide web. This week's show wasn't as intense as its blood-spattered predecessor, but still kept me on the edge of my seat from the first segment through the main event.

The show opens with a video package describing Bobby Lashley's title defense against Kurt Angle as "the match you've all been waiting for." The action kicks off in the Wembley Arena for the second time in as many weeks with tag team competition. The Wolves make their way to ringside as they prepare to defend their tag team titles in a triple threat Ultimate X match with DJ Z and Jesse Goddard of the Bro Mans as well as Manik and Sanada of the Revolution. The Wolves are in control from the moment the bell sounds, and almost toss the Bro Mans to the side so that they may concentrate on the Revolution. The Great Sanada is on the receiving end of an enormity of offensive attacks via Richards and Edwards, as is Jesse Goddard who hopelessly tries to reenter the equation. The Wolves howl into the air and run off in an attempt to hit their patented double suicide dive, when Angelina Love climbs onto the apron and causes them to stop dead in their tracks. DJ Zema Ion tried to take advantage of the distraction but was launched over the top rope onto his own teammates by the Wolves. The Wolves maintained their edge until a drop kick courtesy of Jesse Goddard grounded Eddie Edwards, and gave both opposing teams the opening for success. Manik and Goddard worked in tandem to take down the tag team champions, until all four heels enjoyed a distinct advantage over Davey Richards. Goddard held Richards with his arms behind his back as Manik climbed the aerial ropes and worked his way to the title belts hanging above the ring. Goddard finally realized the error of his ways and unleashed another high-angle drop kick to Manik who was hanging above. DJ Z joins the action and the Bro Mans try to piggy back off one another to avoid climbing the ropes. DJ Z climbs onto Jesse's shoulders and reaches for the belts, but is soon met by Manik who is sitting on the shoulders of the Great Sanada. The game of chicken commences until the Wolves enter the fray and knock everybody down and out of the ring. The Wolves are back in control again as the audience begins to chant "this is awesome." DJ Z is still trying to climb the ropes but is sent headfirst into the steel structure surrounding the ring. Everybody is down once again, allowing Jesse Goddard and Sanada the opportunity to battle it out above the six-sided ring. They hammer one another into the steel structure in the corner until Sanada is able to blind Goddard with the trademark Muta mist. Sanada is inches away from reaching the belts, but is thwarted by Eddie Edwards who performs a top-rope hurricanrana, sending Sanada flying into the center of the ring. Davey Richards then capitalized with a double foot stomp to seal the deal. The Wolves climbed the cable from opposite ends and met in the middle where they retained their world tag team titles.

Austin Aries enters the arena with a microphone, but without his prestigious "Feast or Fired" briefcase. "For the last two weeks I've been out of commission because our good friends, the BDC, put me through a table." Austin tells the audienceone thing missing from TNA television has been the "world's greatest fans chanting for the world's greatest man that ever lived." He immediately gets down to brass tax: "I'm going to make this real short and simple; I want my property back and I'm not leaving this ring until I get it. So Low-Ki, Samoa Joe—you put me through a table? You stole my briefcase? I'm not going to come and jump you from behind, I'm going to stand in this ring like a man and tell you to come out here and bring me my briefcase back!" Ask and you shall receive, at least according to Taz. The BDC's music plays and Samoa Joe leads the deadly duo comprising both he and the X-Division Champion to the ring. Low-Ki carries the Halliburton briefcase and smiles at the former X-Division title holder who dares address the Beat Down Clan. "Austin," Ki began with a wide smile, "Let me get this straight: you believe that WE have something that belongs to you." Low-Ki held the briefcase up in the air, and Austin responded by saying it's not a belief, "it's a fact, jack." Low-Ki falls back on the ol' "possession is nine tenths of the law," excuse. "As long as the BDC has this, Austin Aries can't play his games of �will I, or won't I go after the world title.'" Austin had enough of the games being played and gave the Beat Down Clan two very good reasons why they should return his property. "One—you're not Austin Aries. You're not the man that makes history, you're not the man that cashes in opportunities for world championships." The crowd erupted. "Number two—you're not Austin Aries. Which means that briefcase legally has no value to you, because you can't do a damn thing with it. But I'll tell you what, I've got a way that we can remedy this. You see, I just came out for my briefcase—that I've earned. But you stole something else from me Low-Ki; you stole my X-Division championship. You and the BDC. So I've got a proposition for you, you're a gambling man? I say right here, right now: winner takes all. My briefcase for the world championship—my X Division Championship you STOLE ? Put your money where your mouth is, winner takes all. Right here, right now." The fans inside Wembley went wild as they waited for Low-Ki's reply. "Fair enough, Austin. But you simply don't deserve a shot at my X-Division title." Before the words could come out of Ki's mouth, Austin Aries was blindsided by the brutal Samoan Submission Machine. "But if you really want it that bad," Low-Ki continued, "You're just gonna have to go through Joe."

Away to commercial and once we return, the action is underway with Senior Official Earl Hebner calling the match. Joe is dominant from the early going as his peripheral attack on the former world champion earned him a decided advantage over Aries, who is unable to stand on his own two feet. Joe chops away at Aries with thunderous right arms, and continues with a corner-based striking frenzy, grounding Aries in the BDC corner. Low-Ki is walking around ring-side, in an attempt to scout the action as best he can. "Austin Aries" resonates throughout the arena, and the 2-time Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion gains his second wind and starts to take the fight to Joe. A leapfrog over the big man in the corner, and Aries is ready to start in on the offensive. He attempts his signature Brainbuster vertical suplex, but is unable to lift the 300+ pounder. Samoa Joe gains the upper hand and tosses Aries out of the ring and down to where Low-Ki can get involved. Ki runs his mouth from a few feet away, careful not to get his BDC bandmate disqualified in the process. Joe joins the two and mounts a diabolical assault on Aries with striking right elbows to the sensitive trapezius muscle of Austin Aries. Back inside the squared—or six-sided—circle, Austin tries to settle the score but is consistently caught off-guard by Samoa Joe. He locks Aries in a cross-face variation to wear him down and follows up with a full body attack and a brisk kick to the back of the head. Despite his heelish tendencies and BDC affiliation, Joe receives a warm reception from the United Kingdom crowd; "Joe is gonna kill you" echoes throughout the arena as the superheavyweight judoka continues with reckless abandon, managing to thwart each of Austin's offensive attempts. When Austin finally gained the upper hand, he mounted Samoa Joe in the corner and proceeded to deliver ten right hands as the crowd counted along. Joe tossed him over the top rope, but Aries landed on the apron. He hit Joe with a neck breaker, using the rope to his advantage, and capitalizing with a big drop kick. Once again, Austin Aries went for his Brainbuster vertical suplex, but was dragged down to the ground by the submission specialist, who proceeded to wrench down on the arm of Aries. In control once again, Samoa Joe lifted Aries onto the top rope and set to deliver his signature Muscle Buster. Austin Aries powered out and finally knocked Joe down to his back with a spear-like suicide dive to the outside. With Joe flat on his back, Austin Aries played to the audience, ready to wrap this up once and for all. But that's when Low-Ki became involved, striking Aries from the back, causing Earl Hebner to call for the bell. Both Beat Down Clan members brought Austin back into the ring and did just as their name would suggest—they beat him down. Samoa Joe held Austin Aries as Low-Ki prepared to strike with the solid steel briefcase. Aries then slipped out of Joe's grasp, causing Ki to hit Joe instead. Austin hit Low-Ki and requisitioned his briefcase, leaving the ring as both BDC members struggled to stand. While one number one contender was on his way out of the arena, another was just making his way down the aisle. Rockstar Spud—who is in possession of the X-Division briefcase—runs down to ringside as Low-Ki is still dazed from the effects of Austin's assault. His head is bandaged from the effects of last week's Hair vs. Hair match, but hands the briefcase to Earl Hebner nonetheless. The bell rings and Spud hits the "underdog" on Low-Ki; after a quick 1-2-3, Rockstar Spud is your NEW X-Division champion in less than 8 seconds.

Before anything else goes down inside the ring, camera's catch up to Bram and Magnus who are halfway into what seems to be a serious street fight in the parking garage. Magnus is in firm control as he beats Bram through a set of double doors asking, "Where you going?" Magnus puts Bram on a rolling equipment cart and sends him careening into a set of red and yellow garbage cans that look like giant ketchup and mustard containers. This is the first time since Bram attacked Magnus in New York City that the former world champion is able to get this much offense without worrying about any defense. Bram struggles to get away from Magnus, who is throwing heavy boxes of who-knows-what while dragging him through the darkened halls of Wembley Arena. Josh Matthews reminds us that Magnus promised to spill Bram's blood on the "hallowed grounds of London," and this could be his last chance as TNA is close to returning to America. Magnus knocks Bram through the curtain and into the arena; Bram trips and stumbles down the aisle toward the ring where Magnus goes absolutely crazy. Magnus leaves Bram between the six sides and grabs a steel chair from the ringside area. He returns to Bram and unleashes a fury of heinous shots to Bram's back. He turns his former best friend over and prepares to drill the business-end of the chair directly into Bram's sternum, but is stopped by referees Brian Stiffler and Brian Hebner. Magnus broke through the line of defense and clotheslined Bram, taking the microphone and warning, "You just took a match and burned your hopes and dreams to the ground!" More officials and members of security hit the ring and separated them further, until Magnus's wife Mickie James appeared and started attacking Bram as well. The referees kept both Mickie and Magnus at bay long enough for Bram to retreat up the ramp-way, but Magnus still wasn't finished. He followed behind Bram, stalking him like an animal, and delivered a crippling snap-power bomb to Bram on the crux of the entryway.

The TNA Knockouts are next with the title on the line. The first to appear under Impact's beautiful big screen "TNA-tron" is the former Knockout Champion Awesome Kong, who saunters to ringside to the beat of her menacing entrance tune. Gail Kim is the second to arrive, running down the aisle slapping hands with the UK crowd, wearing a black cut-off t-shirt that says "London." The TNA Knockouts Champion Taryn Terrell doesn't receive the same ovation as Gail Kim, but is most certainly favored over the depraved Kong. Both babyfaces set to work together and team against the monstrous Kong, who thwarts their advances with little-to-no effort of her own. Gail kicks Kong in the stomach, but Kong is quick enough to send the charging former champion speeding head first into the current title holder. Kong conquers them with an avalanche splash in the corner and capitalizes with a powerful sleeper hold slam. Neither Taryn nor Gail can gain any momentum as Awesome Kong continues to throw them around the ring by their hair, keeping them separated and thus unable to form a lasting alliance. Awesome Kong hits Gail Kim with a hard spike to the back, as Taryn Terrell ascends the ropes behind the Amazon's back. Taryn jumps but is clotheslined in mid-air by Awesome Kong, who then sets her sights on Kim once again. Kong lifted Gail Kim into the air for a powerbomb, but was stopped by Taryn who rolled them both up in a very innovative pin-attempt. Taryn hits the ropes and jumps from the second story onto Awesome Kong with a drop kick, sending Kong reeling back toward the center of the ring. Taryn hits the ropes one more time and jumps from the top with a cross body onto Kong, nearly earning a pinfall then and there. Awesome Kong came back with a quick burst of energy, but Taryn Terrell countered with a devastating Diamond Cutter. Kong vacated the ring in an attempt to regroup, and both Taryn and Gail sought to capitalize from the top rope. The two women tried to climb from the same corner and instead of focusing on Awesome Kong, Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell began mixing it up with one another. Taryn fell to the canvas, and Gail Kim flew to the floor, landing cross body on Kong and earning a raucous reception from the audience. Kim then hit Taryn with a sunset flip into a powerbomb out of the corner, but was unable to achieve victory. She shoved the sole of her shoe into Taryn's throat and attempted the "Eat Defeat," but was rolled up by the champion for a successful 1-2-3 combination. As Taryn stood tall in the ring with her belt in hand, she looked off into the distance at Awesome Kong, almost on the brink of tears and unware of what might await her next week.

The Revolution almost ended the career of Jeff Hardy in an instant when James Storm knocked him out on top of the steel cage at Lockdown, sending him plummeting to the steel steps below. Since then there's been more than bad blood between Jeff's brother Matt and the leader of the Revolution. Two weeks ago Bram went one-on-one with Matt Hardy and was asked by the Cowboy to "take him out." Hardy is still in service however, and about to go head-to-head with James Storm in a no holds barred match. Storm heads down the entryway with every member of the Revolution in tow—the odds will most certainly be in the Cowboy's favor this evening. Matt Hardy is happy to take the challenge and is cheered by the overwhelmingly positive response from the live audience. Storm meets Hardy halfway down the ramp and the match finally begins when Hardy rolls the Cowboy into the ring. Matt gets to work supplying their match by going deep under the ring and tossing an array of chairs and trash cans toward Storm. Manik grabs Hardy by the leg as he tries to enter the ring, which gives the Cowboy an opening to start things off in his favor. Hardy comes back with the trash can and he and Storm trade blows with the can and its lid. Hardy knocks James Storm flat on his back and exits the ring once more, climbing the ropes where he is tripped up by both the Great Sanada and Manik. James Storm readies two chairs in close proximity to one another and delivers a vertical suplex to Matt Hardy from the top rope and through the steel. Abyss is on the outside and raises his scarlet satin sack of thumbtacks—try saying that three times fast—and hands them to his �fearless' leader. The Cowboy litters the canvas with a line of golden tacks and attempts to plant Hardy directly in their path. Matt however has plans of his own and throws the Cowboy into the tacks instead, following up with a big elbow drop for a near-fall. The Revolution drags referee Brian Stiffler out of the ring before he can count three, and the match turns into a 5-on-1 assault. All of the Cowboy's allies equip themselves with weaponry; Khoya lifts a non-folding chair above his head, and Josh Matthews asks, "What kind of chair does Khoya have–?!" Funniest line of the night. Hardy retrieved the mysterious chair that Matthews was unfamiliar with and hit the Indian athlete in the back, leading Taz to exclaim, "Oh! That un-folding chair!" Matt did away with the distractions, finishing off Manik with a Twist of Fate, and reentered the ring hoping to end things with the Cowboy as well. Storm had Matt Hardy well scouted however and used his momentum to send him head-first into a steel chair propped in the corner. With both men reeling, it was anybody's match; Matt Hardy leaned over the top rope and for the second time tonight, the Muta mist came into play thanks to the Great Sanada. Hardy was blinded and tripped directly into Storm's Last Call Superkick. Matt Hardy was on spaghetti legs from the initial shot when the "Cowboy" sent him spilling over with a second—far more devastating superkick. James Storm and Revolution are victorious, but that's not enough as the sadistic Storm seeks to removed BOTH Hardy brothers from TNA Impact. They held Hardy by the arms on the lip of the apron, while James Storm berating him from behind: "Matt Hardy! I am the reason your brother is out of professional wrestling! And now you can visit your brother—in the hospital!" Storm swung his cowbell bull rope and struck Hardy in the small of the back in what amounted to a pretty anti-climactic end to an enjoyable match.

The theme of the entire night has been the TNA World Heavyweight Championship match between Kurt Angle and the current title holder, Bobby Lashley. The show has been filled with interviews, promos, vignettes, and all sorts of propaganda hyping this as a "dream match" in TNA. I'm not going to argue that because it's certainly going to be an interesting bout for the most prestigious prize on Impact. But a dream match—I'm not sure about that. Kurt Angle's music hits as he walks out of his dressing room in the back, just like Goldberg during the good old days of WCW. He walks briskly down the dark hall and through catering, arriving at the shadowy Gorilla position, where he waited for the beat to drop and the Trademarc lyrics to hit. The challenger makes his way down the ramp as Josh Matthews starts to recite each of Angle's accolades including but not limited to his success as an Olympian, as well as his run with the WWE. The beginning of Bobby Lashley's music begins to play on repeat just as Angle's did, skipping until the Destroyer is ready to enter the arena. He hits himself in the face and jumps in one spot—kind of like the current WWE World Champion—and finally makes his way through the curtain. According to Josh Matthews, this is Bobby Lashley's 72nd day as World Champion, which might not sound like much—but it's pretty long considering he won the belt during the reboot of Impact back in January. The bell rings and Jeremy Borash introduces the champion and challenger, and referee Brian Hebner allows both men the chance to check out what they're fighting for. A brief commercial break occurs before the match might get underway, and we return to the action just as the bell sounds. They circle one another and prepare to lock up, but back away for a moment until Lashley is the first to attack. He goes for Angle's leg and is unable to drop the Olympic Gold Medalist to the ground. They slink away from one another again, and Lashley comes back with a more calculated take-down, knocking Kurt off his feet, if only for a moment. The action doesn't truly get underway until either man is done feeling out his opponent. They enter into a mat-based amateur style that allows for Kurt to hit Bobby Lashley with four consecutive Suplexes. Lashley finds himself on the wrong side of the Ankle Lock, but gains leverage when he makes it to the ropes, forcing a break by Brian Hebner. Lashley begins retreating from the match, dropping in and out of the ring to catch his breath. Angle chases the champion and reaches him just in time to drop head first on the steel barricade. Lashley is in control now, and uses his power advantage over the venerable ring general. Lashley seems to be losing support from the crowd, and was even booed during his cowardly escape from Angle just a moment ago. He punishes Angle in the center of the ring with both a powerful Suplex and an unnerving bow and arrow submission, while the audience chants in favor of the challenger. Kurt starts to mount a comeback beginning with a leap from the middle rope, and this match turns into a donnybrook where left and right hands reign supreme. Another German suplex by the "Wrestling Machine"—and then another, and another. Kurt Angle is laying into Bobby Lashley the same as Brock Lesnar did to John Cena at Summerslam 2014. The straps come down and Kurt Angle means business when he prepares to apply the Ankle Lock. Lashley kicks him away and capitalizes with a running powerslam, but is unable to achieve victory. Another commercial break and once we return, Kurt Angle is in command and turning Bobby Lashley over by his ankle. They're separated by another rope break, and Lashley comes back with an attempted Spear. Kurt Angle hits Lashley in the face with a big boot and follows up with an Olympic Slam for a near three count on the champion. "This is awesome," is all anyone can hear as this match winds down to the final few moments. Bobby Lashley hits Kurt Angle with a sadistic Spear, and is shocked when the former champion answers the call before the three count. Bobby is out of ideas and resorts to the top rope—a place that he's considerably unfamiliar with. He jumps across the ring where nobody is home; Kurt Angle ascends the same ropes and hits the Destroyer with a cross body. Lashley used Angle's momentum to flip them both over and applied an Ankle Lock of his own, directly in the center of the ring. Angle screamed in pain, unable to reach the ropes as he struggled to find a way out. Finally he made it to the edge of the ring where Lashley was forced to relinquish the hold. Kurt hit Bobby with a surprising Olympic Slam for a 2-and-three quarters count. The Destroyer took advantage of the noticeably exhausted veteran Angle by applying a cross arm bar, using his legs for leverage. Angle summoned nothing but sheer power and determination to remove himself from hold, and once again locked the champion in his signature Ankle submission. The crowd went crazy, stomping the floor and shaking the camera as Kurt dropped to the ground and grapevined the champion's leg. Bobby cried in agony as he reached for the ropes, but was unable to find the same strength that Kurt did just a moment ago. Perhaps thinking of his MMA career, the Destroyer Bobby Lashley had no choice but to slap the mat in submission. Your winner and TNA World Heavyweight Champion for the sixth time—the only Olympic Gold Medalist in Professional Wrestling, Kurt Angle.

This was the second in a series of two very strong weeks for Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. Last week I stated—following the BLOODBATH between Carter and Spud—that I only hope Impact might be able to keep up its forward momentum. I'm not keen on Kurt Angle winning the world title, as I think there are far more deserving wrestlers on the roster that aren't 46-years old. But who can argue with Kurt's one-of-a-kind career? Next week's episode of Impact returns stateside and features the return of Jeff Hardy in a "revenge" match inside the six sides of steel with the Cowboy James Storm. Until then, this has been Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to keep checking out Cheap-Heat, follow me on Facebook by LIKING "The B+ Players," and be sure to look for my upcoming podcast by the same name.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-13015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-13015/#comments Sun, 01 Feb 2015 13:36:12 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Austin Aries BDC Beat Down Clan Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode Bram Brodus Clay Destination X Eric Young EY Gail Kim Gunner Impact Jeff Hardy Kurt Angle Magnus Matt Hardy Mike Tenay MVP Revolution Rockstar Spud Santino Marella Taryn Terrell TNA Tommy Dreamer Triple H Tyrus Urban Wrestling Federation UWF wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9438 Total Non-Stop Analysis TNA Impact 1/30/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Welcome one and all to the latest and greatest installment of the most concise coverage of TNA's weekly Friday night television series, "Impact Wrestling." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, coming off a week away from my keyboard but back to bring you the […]

Total Non-Stop Analysis
TNA Impact 1/30/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

Welcome one and all to the latest and greatest installment of the most concise coverage of TNA's weekly Friday night television series, "Impact Wrestling." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty, coming off a week away from my keyboard but back to bring you the most thought-provoking wrestling reviews this side of the world-wide web. This episode of Impact was of course not without fault, but being only fourth in line for this most recent reboot I have to give the two-hour telecast the benefit of the doubt and award a solid A- for their overall performance. Last week's show featured a very well-constructed street fight right outside the Manhattan Center in New York City—will this week's follow-up contain the same sort of high-octane excitement, or are we heading down another regrettable wrestling rabbit hole? Let's quit running our mouths and discuss what stood out this week on Destination America.

Just because TNA is a fraction of the WWE in terms of size, that's not to assume Impact Wrestling doesn't do a few things better than the industry leader. For example, I truly value the way in which TNA manages to highlight the events from previous episodes without relying on a 25-minute in-ring talking segment. This episode began with a two-minute recap from last week, followed by the former champion Bobby Roode escorting the TNA World title to the six-sided ring. "What I have in my hand right now, unfortunately doesn't belong to me. But this championship means more to me than anything else in this world," began Bobby Roode, looking down at the leather and gold for which he's put his life on the line. "I have dedicated my entire life to this championship. Professional wrestling is my life! It's how I support my family; it is a passion and this TNA World Heavyweight championship represents everything in this company." Roode went on to explain how he lost the belt to Bobby Lashley on January 7th thanks to the combined efforts of his former best friend Eric Young, MVP and the Beat Down Clan. Bobby Roode isn't just called the "It Factor," as he lives his character every day of his life. TNA oftentimes gets a bad rap for their booking, but not much negative can be said regarding their talent, especially icons of the past decade like Bobby Roode. "We were closer than blood," Roode continued, now staring directly into the camera as if speaking to EY, "I will not rest, so help me god, until I spill yours! [Blood]" Bobby then turned the tables from his beef with the BDC to his standing predicament with the current TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Bobby Lashley. Roode called Lashley down to the ring so that they could settle their issues like men. Lashley of course answered the call, eager to regain his property, and walked down to ringside rocking an amazing track suit and gingham cap combination. "This world heavyweight championship belongs to you, and I'm man enough to give it back." As the belt switched from hand to hand, Roode clutched the gold for a moment longer, "But it's not going to be that easy. Because I'm owed a rematch." The crowd erupted, only to further unhinge themselves when Roode added: "And I want my rematch tonight." Lashley accepted Bobby Roode's challenge for a championship opportunity, and began turning toward the back. But Roode had different plans in mind: "Why wait," he asked? The former champion was ready for his rematch right now. Lashley turned back but before the two could engage in battle, the music hit and one of the Feast or Fired recipients was ready to join the fight. Austin Aries walked to the ring, holding his world title briefcase proudly as if to remind the behemoths in the ring as to who the true number one contender in TNA was. "I know! I know! I'm not a referee! I'm not the guy you were looking for, I'm sorry," Austin Aries approached the ring, "Actually I'm not sorry." The boisterous Manhattan crowd grew unruly as they chanted, "Austin Aries," almost immediately forgetting the two main eventers already inside the six-sided circle. "I always find myself in this position guys, I'm always the man that has the most options." Austin went on to explain how he revolutionized Destination X by introducing Option C, and directly related his success to his current prized possession—the Feast or Fired briefcase for the TNA championship. "Do I cash this in right now, in my dapper street clothes? Or do I take a seat outside, get myself some vegan popcorn, watch you guys have one hell of an athletic, draining world title match—and then cash it in? So many choices. So many options…" Now ten minutes in and fifteen minutes shy of the WWE 25-minute mark for opening segments, the final piece to the main event puzzle appears without his BDC brothers, the man who outsmarted Lashley last week in a wintertime street fight, MVP. The former United States champion has a habit of delivering one-too-many in-ring promos from week to week, effectively rendering him the Triple H of Impact Wrestling. But much like the King of Kings, MVP so-too-serves as a prominent role model for what a consummate professional wrestler is all about. Ignoring his less-than-stellar in-ring performances over the years, Montel Vontavious Porter has managed to make himself a very valuable commodity inside the wrestling industry. Now arriving on scene to add to the already tense situation spilling over from inside the ring, MVP singles each of his adversaries out, beginning with Austin Aries and finishing with a man he claims to be disappointed in, Bobby Lashley. MVP continues to tell Lashley that the TNA title doesn't belong to him, but to the entire Beat Down Clan, "And you know this!" MVP wants Bobby Lashley to kick Roode and Aries to the side, and make this a one-on-one confrontation between the former "brothers," Lashley and Montel. Lashley tells Aries to save his briefcase for another time because he's "going to need it," and instead gives all three men an opportunity for the title in a four-way dance.

Back from the first break and just fifteen minutes into the broadcast, we've already seen previews for matches to come, including a Monsters Ball between Jeff Hardy and Abyss. Kurt Angle appears on screen: "Being able to fight has awoken the American Hero inside of me. The man that's gone to war with the biggest names in the business. And next week at Lockdown, it's gonna be Team Angle versus the BDC. And I'm looking for the biggest, baddest, best wrestlers in this industry. And by the end of tonight, I'm gonna have my team assembled. Oh it's real. It's damn real." Next up the Knockouts Championship is on the line, as it is almost every week it seems. We're first introduced to Madison Rayne, who by my account has the absolute worst entrance music in the history of professional wrestling. Her first of two adversaries is the former TNA Knockout and WWE Diva's champion Gail Kim, followed by the current champion Taryn Terrell. I'm coming around to Terrell, although I wish she'd ditch her country pop rock theme song, which seems to be a detriment to more than one TNA talent. One of WCW's toughest challenges during its infancy was breaking free of the regional status it garnered during the Crockett Era. A constant catalysts in the evolution of wrestling has always been promotors willing to learn from past mistakes, so why do so many Impact wrestlers and knockouts come to the ring to music that only appeals to a specific subgroup of Americans? I'm not devaluing country music whatsoever, as the same argument can be made for the now defunct Urban Wrestling Federation and their frivolous usage of hip hop. Before I get back to the action, I'd like to complain about one more thing: When is the last time we saw a one-on-one knockout match? Since the company re-launched on Destination America we've seen the same basic multi-woman bouts ending with a blackout and a Kong-Havok stare down. I think the Knockouts are far more favorable to the Divas inside the ring, but anyone who points out the flawed nature of WWE booking needs to take a step back and assess the current Knockout situation as well. There is in fact a forest beyond those blonde and brunette trees, everybody. Back to the match: Gail Kim is a real talent in the wrestling industry. From the bell, she launches herself into the action and demands her one-on-one opportunity with Taryn Terrell. Kim takes Taryn to the "Wood Shed," as Good Ol' JR would put it, only to allow an opening for Madison Rayne to reenter the affair and turn the tides in her own favor. I can't take anything away from Madison, as her lack of knowledge between the ropes and off-putting persona adds greatly to the heel character she's currently being asked to play. She even had a highlight moment when she performed what the announcers referred to as a "Diamond Cutter and DDT" combination. Madison's inexperience gets the best of her as she falls victim to a submission hold by the crafty Kim, which is then capitalized upon by Taryn Terrell. It's a three-women hardcore extravaganza when the fight spills to the outside; the diabolical Madison Rayne is less reliant on wrestling holds, and more in her element, dumping the TNA Knockout champion face-first into the steel steps. By this point I've not once—but TWICE said, "Holy shit," reacting to the bumps these wonderful workers are willing to take. I'm not saying the Bella Twins couldn't take an over-the-top spill to the concrete floor, I'm just pointing out that they haven't. Madison is in control, delivering a face buster to Gail Kim into the same steps. Back in the ring, Madison waves cordially to the crowd and dives back to the outside, face first into the guard rail. Taryn takes advantage and the two battle back into the ring. Kim gets back in the action, but Terrell capitalizes on the confusion with a very impressive Diamond Cutter, leading to a three count for the retaining champion.

Another break and more promotion for next week's very special Lockdown television event on Destination America, followed by an up-close encounter with the former corporate world champion Magnus. He says that the TNA camera crew has a habit of filming whatever they like, so in response he invited them to witness a positive interaction between him and his recently estranged best friend. He says that he invited Bram to meet him at a local bar, and wants the TNA audience to see them talk things out like men. "If we have an issue, we have a drink and we talk it out. And that's what we're going to do right now." Rockstar Spud and the winner of British Bootcamp Mark Andrews are out on the streets of the Big Apple sight-seeing; Spud misidentifies the Empire State Building as the Washington Monument, and then correctly spots the Manhattan Center clear across the street. Spud's suits are the inanimate anthropomorphic personification of Nickelodeon in the early 1990's; his outfit this evening is orange and green and yellow and purple and splattered with paint, as he reminds the television audience of the current problems between Ethan Carter and Jeremy Borash. The two are in a hurry as they prepare for their upcoming interaction with EC3 and Tyrus—but first, they're going to go see the White House, which Spud claims is "three blocks away" from the Manhattan Center. Back inside, Tommy Dreamer walks to the ring to a decent enough reaction, although the fans are chanting for "E-C-W," not the hardcore legend or his "House of Hardcore" promotion. As he circled the stage preparing to address the TNA audience, he swiped a plastic cup of beer from a fan at ringside and took a swig, before entering the ring with a smile on his face. Tommy tells his faithful fans that he's never lied to them and never will, and requests the presence of Eric Young. Young appears wearing a Bobby Roode shirt, and enters the ring sneering at the patrons inside the Manhattan Center. "This has got nothing to do with you," he tells Tommy, coming within an inch of his face, "Stay out of my business." Tommy tells Eric that he and Bobby Roode were the first people in TNA that shook his hand when he came onboard. "I've seen you go from a nothing joke to the heavyweight champion of this company," Tommy compared himself to Young in their similar struggles to achieve world heavyweight greatness, but Young wanted nothing to do with Dreamer, nor his pleas for peace. "You're a good guy Tommy—you're a real good guy! Look where being a good guy got you; you're a fat loser from this dump. " Tommy turned away, to which Eric took offense, "You don't turn away from me! I don't want to burn a bridge with Bobby Roode," he told the 25-year veteran, "I want to blow it up!" At this point Dreamer became somewhat condescending and swore EY was continuing to make mistakes, even accusing the former champion of never asking Roode for the title shot he was seeking. "This is all over the world title, did you ever ask him for a title shot," Dreamer demanded to know? The intensity rose between Tommy Dreamer and Eric Young, who might I say is sporting a very stylish head of hair these days. Words almost escaped EY, as he searched for the proper response to Dreamers inquiry. Before a syllable could be spoken, the treacherous Young kicked Tommy and delivered a powerful pile-driver to the ECW icon. Never one to be outdone by his own actions, Eric hit the ringside area and assaulted a crew member to attain a steel chair. He tossed the chair into the ring in an apparent attempt to capitalize on a downed-Dreamer, then to be met by the man he turned on four weeks ago—Bobby Roode! Roode stood tall, fending off a rabid "Showtime" Eric Young, saving Tommy Dreamer from any further punishment.

Matt and Jeff Hardy are on hand cutting a promo regarding next week's Lockdown event on Destination America. Jeff is undoubtedly the more daring and enjoyable Hardy to watch inside the ring, but Matt is a quick-witted talent whose promo skills and gifts to the industry shouldn't go overlooked when talking about the Hardy Boyz as a whole. Next week Matt and Jeff are going head-to-head with the tag team champions James Storm and Abyss inside the six-sides of steel. But as for tonight, Jeff says he has a "violent dance" with Abyss at the Monster's Ball. It's such a big deal, he says, that he invited a few friends—trashcan lids, barbed wire bats, and kendo sticks to name a few. Back out in the bitter cold, Magnus is walking into the local watering hole to meet Bram; I want to know where this large, yet seemingly unpopular pub in midtown Manhattan might be located. Bram is getting HAMMERED, hanging his head amongst a valley of "fallen soldiers" AKA empty beer bottles. Magnus sits beside Bram and orders another round. Bram argues with Magnus about the finish to the Feast or Fired contest last week on Impact. Magnus tells Bram that his victory benefits both men because it's a tag team opportunity. "Who's my tag team partner gonna be—Crazy Steve? No it's going to be you, ya big dummy." The two seem to sort their situation out amidst a menagerie of uncomfortable comments, all while Bram embraced a rock solid cue ball from the billiard table. Finally Bram suggests they leave and head around the corner for Thai food; on the way out the door, Magnus turns toward the exit and Bram instead sends him into the bowels of the building because it's "quicker." Once realizing there's no way out, Magnus turns around only to be blindsided by the blood-thirsty Bram. After repeatedly tossing Magnus into a steel door, Bram retrieved the curious cue ball from his jacket pocket and smashed it over the back of Magnus's skull. Cameras are backstage in the Manhattan Center where Kurt Angle approaches Gunner regarding his position in the company and propositions him to join Team Angle next week at Lockdown, an offer Gunner willingly accepts. The excitement continues down in the basement where Abyss and Jeff Hardy aren't willing to wait for their scheduled bell time. They battle within the narrow hall way and into a standing-room-only audience. Abyss breaks the barricade apart in order to enter the ringside area and is soon met with a barrage of impromptu weaponry beginning with a steel chair. Josh Matthews tells the television audience that Abyss has been in 95% of the "televised" Monsters Ball matches over the years, though his experience doesn't seem to do him any favors as Jeff Hardy continues to punish the Monster. Abyss hits Hardy with a few impactful power moves and introduces an array of weapons to the ring, including the dreaded cheese grater. The incredibly fast pace of the contest slowed to a stop when Jeff Hardy attempted an awe-inspired aerial maneuver that instead saw him soar through the folding table at ringside. Abyss took this as his cue to introduce a felt bag of thumbtacks to the match—much to my chagrin. Thumbtacks have an absurdly high statistical presence in TNA, so I was ecstatic when Hardy answered the call and stopped Abyss from emptying the bag. Instead we get an even more unenlightened piece of hardware—the black piece of wood surrounded by spikes known as "Janice." The Monsters Ball is interrupted by the entire Revolution who attack Jeff, as well as Matt who attempted to rescue his brother. Coming to the aid of the fallen Hardy Boyz is perhaps their most unlikely of allies, the Wolves. Once the score is settled and the focus returns to Abyss and Jeff Hardy, the Monster manages to litter the six-sided ring with hundreds of razor sharp thumbtacks. Abyss climbed the ropes to where Jeff was seated on the top turn buckle and attempted to perform a super-plex. The former world champion fought the Monster away and instead reversed his efforts into a sit-down powerbomb. Jeff once again ascended to the top rope, and finished Abyss with his patented Swanton Bomb amid a sea of thumbtacks.

Backstage Kurt Angle is on the phone still seeking to assemble his "Dream Team" for next week's Lethal Lockdown encounter with the Beat Down Clan. The night is winding down, and aside from the combatants of the penultimate match, everyone is getting ready for the four way championship battle for the belt, including former champion Austin Aries. Austin says Bobby Lashley's willingness to give him a title shot without cashing in his briefcase speaks to the type of confidence Lashley has as a champion, a trait Aries admittedly admires. As Rockstar Spud and Mark Andrews prepare to exact their revenge against Ethan Carter and Tyrus, they are surprised when EC3 enters the arena dressed in a suit to inform them of a slight change in booking. Instead of Carter and the former Brodus Clay, the British junior heavyweights will be wrestling Robbie E and Jesse Goddard of the Bromans. A decent enough competitive match that served to display the phenomenal athleticism of Mark Andrews, as well as the immense versatility of Rockstar Spud. Up until now much of the TNA and American audiences have seen Spud much the same as Santino Marella, a comedy act with little in the way of professional wrestling prowess. Those of us nerds that follow the European indies know that Spud is a charismatic young talent who is destined for great things should TNA pull the trigger on him as a prominent athlete. Some fun stuff from Angelina Love, the last remaining "Beautiful Person" now that her comrade Velvet Sky is no longer under contract. In the end the match was of course won by the lightning quick underdogs who finished their competition with a tag team combination ending with a shooting star press by "Mandrews." Following the bell, the duo had little time to celebrate as Tyrus took to the ring in an attempt to obliterate the smaller-statured stars before they could gain any momentum. After decimating them beyond conceivable repair, Tyrus walked away. They lay demolished inside the ring, but only for a moment until Spud mustered the strength to beckon the beast back for one more battle—this time inside the six-sides of steel. This time next week at TNA Lockdown on Destination America.

The main event is upon us and Austin Aries is the first of the four competitors to be announced, followed by MVP who has been considerably absent compared to weeks past. The "It Factor" Bobby Roode is the third man to make his entrance, followed of course by the current TNA World Heavyweight champion, this time in possession of his title belt, Bobby Lashley. I really enjoy Lashley these days, who works much the same as WWE World Heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar; each champion is presented as a legitimate ass-kicker who can't be concerned with appealing to the crowd. Both Brock and Bobby enter the ring and hold their titles high regardless of the reaction they might expect from the fans. Bobby Lashley doesn't need to cheat to win, and he doesn't need to pander to get over—he just needs to wrestle, and that will in-turn define who he is as a competitor. Matthews and Taz make mention of Mike Tenay's TNA Power Rankings, specifically citing Bobby Lashley as number one, MVP as two, Aries as three—with Low Ki and EY rounding out the Top Five. Way to bury one of the wrestlers in the current bout, not to mention one of the most loyal and top-drawing stars in the company. This match is off and running and MVP hits the outside of the ring in an attempt to escape immediate competition. Roode and Aries head him off, sending him back into the ring and right in line with his most hated of enemies Bobby Lashley. The match begins as an anti-MVP "Beat Down," no pun intended, but quickly switches to a standard four way battle, pitting Lashley against Roode inside the ring, with Aries and MVP fighting on the outskirts of camera-view. Aries soon returns to action, attacking Bobby Roode and allowing MVP his own opportunity to reengage in competition. The war wages across the commercial break, and we're soon back in the middle of the action. Bobby Lashley, who has been conspicuous by his absence, returns to the ring, only to miss a spear and exit through the ropes once more. Aries capitalizes and performs a fluid suicide dive onto the champion, leaving MVP in control as he stomps Bobby Roode down into a bottom turnbuckle. MVP continues to put his evolution as a performer on display as he keeps both Roode and Aries at bay, until Bobby Lashley returns to join the fight once more. A litany of high spots including a powerbomb/super-plex combination make for an exciting few remaining moments of television until Eric Young joined the fray and took Roode out of the equation. Aries prepared for another suicide dive on MVP who was stranded on the sidelines, but was instead turned inside-out by a catastrophic spear from the Destroyer Bobby Lashley. Lashley retains his title, only to be assaulted by the BDC. MVP swipes the belt again and holds it high, until the entire team is run off by Kurt Angle and Gunner. Lashley managed to keep his belt as he stood alongside Kurt Angle, staring daggers into the wily Beat Down Clan. Bobby Roode tells Eric Young that he wants him inside the cage next week at Lockdown, "I'm going to make you pay. But most importantly, I'm going to make you bleed!" Kurt Angle begins to talk about the numbers game played by the BDC, but Austin Aries grabs the microphone and quickly volunteers himself for one of the two vacant spots on Team Angle. Once Austin was onboard, Kurt took it upon himself to recruit the champion, who was quick to tell both MVP and Kurt, that he isn't going to be on anyone's team. Who will be the fourth man on Team Angle next week in Lethal Lockdown?

There were a few slow moving instances particularly around the Monsters Ball Match, but everything including the barroom brawl was at least enjoyable. I spoke earlier at what TNA might do better than the WWE and I dare say they pace their show much better than Monday Night Raw. Smackdown is a different story as it too is only two hours, but maybe that's the burden of a three hour broadcast? Look what happened to Nitro, after all. TNA Impact manages to get its point across with as few words as possible per promo, now it's just a matter of cutting down the number of promos. There should most certainly be more than three matches on a two hour wrestling show, so while the talking segments are well produced and intelligible, they should be limited in terms of how many we get per hour. I thought the best match of the evening without question was the four way dance for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, but I also enjoyed the spectacle put on by Taryn Terrell, Gail Kim, and Madison Rayne. Remember next week is TNA's very special Lockdown, a former pay-per-view extravaganza available for free on Destination America. I'm looking forward to the event, and I also look forward to next week's edition of "Total Nonstop Analysis." Until then my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you that sports entertainment is well and good, but WRESTLING is alive and well.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-1715/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/total-non-stop-analysis-tna-impact-1715/#comments Fri, 09 Jan 2015 20:50:25 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Angelina Love Austin Aries Awesome Kong AXS Bobby Lashley Chris Candido Davey Richards Destination America DJ Z EC3 Eddie Edwards Eric Young Ethan Carter III Gail Kim Havok Impact Impact Wrestling James Storm Jeff Hardy Jeremy Borash Jessicka Havok John Cena John Gaburick Josh Mathews Knockout's Kong Kurt Angle Low Ki Manik Marc Predka Matt Hardy Mike Tenay MVP New Japan Pro Wrestling NJPW Ring of Honor Robbie E. Rockstar Spud ROH Samoa Joe Sanada Seiya Sanada Taryn Terrell Taz The American Wolves The BroMans The Great Sanada The Revolution The Wolves TNA Tyrus Unlocked Velvet Sky Verne Gagne wrestling WWE X-Division http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8683 Total Non-Stop Analysis TNA Impact 1/7/15 Written by Mark Adam Haggerty I think it's safe to say that 2014 was a turbulent time for the second most visible wrestling company in America as they struggled to find a home without losing the one million viewers they had already worked thirteen years to win. Everyone knows […]

Total Non-Stop Analysis
TNA Impact 1/7/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

I think it's safe to say that 2014 was a turbulent time for the second most visible wrestling company in America as they struggled to find a home without losing the one million viewers they had already worked thirteen years to win. Everyone knows by now that Impact did in fact find a new home on Destination America, and things seem to be off to a good start. I didn't hear any direct mention of T-N-A except when referring to the championship titles, and that's only because they're each embroidered with three enormous diamond-studded letters, glistening under the hot lights of the Manhattan Center. Instead the product appears to now be known simply as "Impact Wrestling," a superior name as far as I'm concerned because Impact Wrestling doesn't mean, "boobs" and "butts"—uh, I like to keep things clean around here. This was a really great episode and a spectacular way to reboot the program on a brand new network. While there were a few moments when I had to rewind and say to myself, "Wait—WWE just did that," this show was well-constructed and all-together entertaining. Let's quit with the introductions and get right down to the random thoughts running �round my head in this week's edition of "Total Non-Stop Analysis."

Worried at first as to how the show would lead off, my fears rapidly retreated into my brain when Impact Wrestling began with a very well-produced montage of wrestlers preparing for the big return to television. Included therein was Bobby Lashley, Gail Kim, Samoa Joe and several others depicted in their hotel rooms just prior to the TNA Reboot at the Manhattan Center. Overtop the behind-the-scenes footage played what I believe was John Cena's rapping cousin Tha Trademarc, although I could be wrong. But given his past relationship with TNA, even performing Kurt Angle's entrance theme, I'm willing to bet that was none other than good old Marc Predka. As wrestlers arrived at the Manhattan Center a literal street fight broke out between every member of the roster including all main event talent, the Knockouts, and even Rockstar Spud! The carnage spilled inside where the live audience was excited to see a video-game style wrestling brawl come to life; more than twenty-five men and women picking their spots and opening Impact in a huge way. As security started to get a handle on the action, Executive Director Kurt Angle made his entrance asking, "Security—what do you think you're doing?" After he laid down the law declaring all TNA championships will be defended this evening, MVP wanted to know whether or not Kurt was "going to announce how he assaulted" MVP the last time they saw each other. He even went on to say, "The Kurt Angle of 1996 was an Olympic Gold Medalist. The Kurt Angle of 2015 wears a suit and tie and has no balls. Professional wrestler? Kurt—you're done." Kurt responded the only way he knew how; the first match for The New Impact of 2015 would see Kurt Angle battle MVP dressed in street clothes, in what would prove to be a thrilling contest of catch-wrestling regardless of attire. I have to give credit where it's due and congratulate MVP for training so feverishly in recent years, because the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Judo are beginning to pay off in regard to the former United States champion's repertoire. Kurt looked phenomenal as always despite being shelved for the better part of the last year, utilizing a litany of his own signature maneuvers such as The Hat Trick and even his Olympic Slam. The fans in New York City were really getting into this bout as they chanted, "M-V-Penis," toward the ring for a good three or four minutes. Of course Kurt Angle would come out on top but I'll venture a guess that 2015 could be the year we see Montel Vontavious Porter in possession of the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Until now we've only heard his voice but it's time to put a face to Taz's new broadcast colleague, Josh Matthews. Matthews gives a basic introduction and introduces Taz as, "a former three time world champion." Uh—okay, I guess ECW still counts. They run down the changes we the viewer might expect going forward, including a new hidden camera-feature displaying heels and heroes intermingling backstage. Matthews says they're going to pull the curtain back like never before; I guess just because something didn't work for the XFL, doesn't mean there's no hope for Impact. I give it two months before they abandon all of the "behind-the-scenes" garbage in favor of a standard broadcast, because that's what the fans have been clamoring for. In addition to seeing The Broman's paling around with Samoa Joe in the locker room, the camera gave us an unprecedented look at John Gaburick producing the show from the "Gorilla Position." Following an awesome EC3 promo we're back in instructional mode, but that's okay because this time we've got The Professor Mike Tenay telling us all about, "Impact: Unlocked." �Unlocked will be a new program on Destination America each week similar to other sports highlight shows including news, stats, opinions and interviews. Tenay gives us a sneak peak of what to expect when he sits down in an empty arena to discuss the formation of The Revolution with James Storm.

Following the prerecorded conversation between The Professor and The Cowboy, James Storm and Abyss emerged from the back to defend their tag titles against The American Wolves. I find it kind of quirky how Storm carries both belts for he and his partner Abyss, what an original concept that I don't think I've ever seen before. I'm sorry, that's rude. I don't like writing sarcastically because it doesn't translate very well to the reader, but come on! I find James Storm far more favorable-a-performer than The Miz, but the facts are clear and I'm pretty sure I saw Mike Mizanin performing this shtick starting several months back. Not a huge deal when you take into account the quality of workrate on Impact versus the more mainstream alternative. In fact if The Revolution falls flat, The Wolves are always enough to make me forget about the sad state of the WWE Tag Division. Before the bell could sound both Matt and Jeff Hardy wandered out from the locker room, presumably to scout the champions or perhaps to gain a better vantage point of Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. The Wolves appear to have gotten some new ink since last we saw them in the six-sided ring, but the added sizzle has done nothing to hinder the flavor of the steak. I guess maybe four consecutive suicide dives performed by both Edwards and Richards was a bit much, but who's to even make that decision when the name of the game on the indie level is, "Can You Top That?" The match was on fire which is pretty cool considering the advanced ages of both Abyss and Storm when contrasted with their much younger opponents. But age isn't any more than a number, especially in the world of professional wrestling—just ask Shawn Michaels who was widely considered better in his 40's than he ever was in his 20's. That's a pretty sweet (chin music) segue into the final moment of the match—a Superkick! "The Last Call" is my favorite superkick in wrestling, and yes I'm including The Young Bucks and Adam Cole in the conversation. I just don't think anyone hits the move with more fluidity while maintaining a perfectly straight leg the way Cowboy James Storm does. A hard-contested war between the reprehensible Revolution and the former tag title holders, The American Wolves.

Ethan Carter III and his staunch sense of entitlement have returned for the year 2015, wearing the shiniest mafia suit you've ever seen in your life. I think EC3 gives what is probably the best promo in all of TNA. He's a far cry from the best wrestler on the roster, but what Carter lacks in ring presence he makes up for with cunning ingenuity. Aside from the standard retort, "No, I'm very good," every time the crowd would chant, "You suck," Ethan Carter invited the New York City fans to join him in celebrating as, "2015 is the year of our wrestling lord, EC3." I question the use of saying "fact" after every sentence because once again, I'm fairly certain somebody else has already cornered that market of the industry. But all things considered I really enjoy Ethan Carter whenever he's in possession of a microphone, so I'm inclined to ignore that. His back and forth with Jeremy Borash and Rockstar Spud was well-received, I just wish the camera didn't fail to pick up the slap from JB to EC3. I find head-shaving and hair-cutting to be a little too �rasslin' for my modern day taste but the uneven crewcut given to Jeremy Borash was quick and concise enough to ensure I didn't lose interest in an otherwise very stimulating story. I've never been a fan of Jeremy Borash and might even go as far as to say I don't like him. But given his thirteen year commitment to TNA, there are few tenured employees as beloved as Jeremy thus making him the perfect ponzi for EC3 to target.

While everything inside me says to declare Austin Aries versus Low-Ki match of the night, I'm less inclined to do so as I've seen far too much of these wrestlers in recent months. The X-Division is becoming a two-to-three man show with Samoa Joe still not cleared to compete, and I don't think the title is done any justice when it's tossed around between the same wrestlers on a semi-monthly basis. That being said you can't take anything away from either Low-Ki or Aries in the performance department. I noticed that Josh Matthews appeared very keen on getting historical statistics correct, several times referencing WWE and Ring of Honor, even referring to Austin Aries as a 3-time world champion—just like Taz, I guess. It's weird whenever I see Austin Aries in the six-sided ring because perhaps more than anyone else on the roster, I'm used to seeing him wrestle independently inside the standard squared circle. Despite an earnest effort and a highly effective "Bite of the Dragon," Low-Ki was bested by one of the greatest wrestlers on earth. Following a debilitating Brain Buster, it was only a matter of time before A-Double picked up his sixth X-Division title win.

Then there was a Knockouts Battle Royal. I don't want to be labeled a sexist but I can't stand the Knockouts Division and if being honest means being called prejudice, then I guess I'll have to make due. This isn't a discussion comparing Knockouts to Divas, this is about looking at the storylines the women in TNA are subjected to. This was a seven-woman battle royal for the Knockouts Title which in itself should be insulting, not only to the champion Taryn Terrell but to proven women's competitors such as Gail Kim and Jessicka Havok. Even the Beautiful People deserved more than they received on this landmark broadcast which brings me to another point. Why was this the designated moment to reintroduce Robbie E? I'm originally from the Great Garden State with a special place in my heart for Guido's, but I don't get the logic in allowing the Bromans to cut a promo directly before a Knockout's Title Match? Is the creative team in TNA so uncomfortable with women's wrestling that they opted to lead in with Robbie E? Nonetheless the match was terrible and paced even worse with pockets of inaction spread across the ring. It's not the women or their abilities that I loathe, but the obvious second-string approach Gaburick and his team take to some of the best wrestlers in the world. Luckily all was not lost thanks to a moment which might go down as the coolest Knockout spot in history. When Havok failed to conquer Taryn Terrell, she went wild and attacked anybody in her path—that is until the lights went out and the Manhattan Center was greeted by an unfriendly yet very familiar face. It was Awesome Kong! Returning to do damage and reclaim her Knockout Title, Kong made quick work of Havok to set up one of the biggest dream matches in women's wrestling. It was very cool to see Kia Stevens back in TNA as Kong was one of the only reasons the Knockout Division was so fun to watch.

Kurt Angle and Josh Matthews each dedicated time to declaring tonight's main event a potential Match of the Year contender—before it even happened, mind you. I didn't think that was true, in fact I had very little hope that this match would be anything more than a five minute brawl complete with inconsistent selling and outside interference from MVP. While we did see our share of Montel and his faction of masked marauders, the actual match surprised the heck out of me. Last week I released my Top Fourteen Wrestlers of 2014 and came very close to adding Bobby Lashey's name to my list. Lashley has come an exceptionally long way since his days of defending Donald Trump's head of hair from Vince McMahon, even employing what I consider the deadliest Spear in all of professional wrestling. Bobby Roode is a classic wrestler's wrestler who could be dropped down into any decade and still have an amazing career whether battling it out with Verne Gagne or Chris Candido. Roode seems to have a far superior understanding of ring psychology than does the rest of the TNA Roster. I have nothing but respect and admiration for both Bobby's but it's when their conflicting styles collide that I begin to worry as to the outcome. Bobby Lashley looks utterly ridiculous when relegated to running the ropes and selling moves such as Suplexes. All the while Roode lacks the ability and body type necessary to sell Lashley's power holds. I thought Lashley/Roode Number One sucked; I thought Lashley/Roode Number Two was a letdown; when it came time for their third encounter I had no hopes higher than what their previous bouts allowed me to expect. Once things got underway many of my fears were realized, however I was happy to see both men adapt greatly to the others' style and strength, making this a much more enjoyable match within the first few moments.

The technical end of things caught me by surprise as I didn't see this match breaking down to the mat, but that is where they stayed until the cavalry arrived around the ring. MVP returned to the Manhattan Center alongside Kenny King and two masked men that weren't going to let security stop them from entering the arena. Back in the ring Lashley's face is leaking blood from inside his mouth as he engages in battle with Bobby Roode. Once the masked men made their way onto the apron, they were revealed as Samoa Joe and Low-Ki, here to ensure Lashley walks away with the title around his waist. Just as soon as they arrived however, MVP's band of baddies was seemingly scared away by the former TNA World Champion Eric Young who came to his best friend's aid swinging a steel chair.

But this wouldn't be wrestling if everybody got along; after faking out the NYC crowd as well as Roode himself, Eric Young drilled the edge of the steel chair deep into Bobby Roode's ribs, then to his back. As EY vacated the ring, leaving MVP and his minions scattered around watching the action unfold, Bobby Lashley came to his senses and delivered the most impressive Spear you've ever seen. The referee counted one, two, three and The Destroyer Bobby Lashley is once again the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

About halfway through the broadcast I sent a text to one of my Cheap-Heat colleagues insisting that he check out the "New TNA." His response was something to the effect of: "I just can't with TNA anymore, they've been doing the same storylines for five years." While I want my friend to give the show a chance regardless of his preconceived conceptions, I can't help but wonder how many hundreds—or even THOUSANDS of former fans feel the same way. Impact is going to have to pull out all the stops without, "jumping any sharks" if they want to survive in the most competitive wrestling environment since The Attitude Era. Nobody is going to unseat the reigning King Vince McMahon, but everyone else including Lucha Underground, Ring of Honor, and NJPW on AXS stands the same chance of stealing Impact's spot and becoming the official number two show in the country. Remember starting next week Impact Wrestling will begin airing in its normal timeslot, Friday Nights at 9PM EST on Destination America. I think the original plan was to remain on Wednesdays but now that NXT is moving to Wednesday in response to Smackdown moving to Thursday, it appears Impact went the safer route by booking on a night devoid of any in-ring competition. Wait—that means there's a new wrestling show on Monday through Friday every single week? The dream. Ladies and gentlemen as always it has been my pleasure spending some time with you here in cyberspace. My name is Mark Haggerty and I hope you'll join me again next week for another entertaining edition of Total Non-Stop Analysis.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/bwfs-tna-impact-wrestling-review-for-november-12th-2014/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/bwfs-tna-impact-wrestling-review-for-november-12th-2014/#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2014 06:40:39 +0000 bored wrestling fan Other Reviews Reviews Abyss Angelina Love Austin Aries Bobby Lashley Chris Melendez Daniel Bryan Davey Richards DJZ Eddie Edwards Eric Young Gail Kim Gunner Havok Impact James Storm Jessie Godderz Kenny King Kurt Angle Madison Rayne Manik Mr. Anderson MVP Rebel Rob Terry Sam Shaw Samuel Shaw Taryn Terrell The Beautiful People The BroMans The Menagerie The Wolves TNA Tyrus wrestling http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=6301 Time for the second to last Impact. Are you ready? James Storm comes out to start the show. It would have been so great if they booked it so that he ended Impact and we finally had a heel faction destroy a wrestling company. He calls out the Wolves for his answer. The one that […]

Time for the second to last Impact. Are you ready?

James Storm comes out to start the show. It would have been so great if they booked it so that he ended Impact and we finally had a heel faction destroy a wrestling company. He calls out the Wolves for his answer. The one that Storm isn't interested in tries to tell Storm no but Davey grabs the mic and tells Eddie he can speak for himself, and make his own decisions. He's thought about Storm's offer and it makes sense, but his conclusion is that Storm is insane. His answer is no. Storm and the boys jump the Wolves and Storm chokes Davey with his bullrope and is fired a la Daniel Bryan. Storm ties up Richard's leg in the bullrope and goes to town on it with a chair. Security come out to seperate everyone while Richards cries like a little bitch.The Revolution leave and come back with Storm holding a briefcase. Storm hits Edwards with the case and goes back to hitting Richard's leg with it. He opens the briefcase and it's a Feast or Fired briefcase. Storm cashes it in as a title shot.

James Storm and Abyss vs The Wolves for the TNA Tag Titles

I completely forgot that Storm had that case. He won it with Gunner almost a year ago. Storm hits Eye of The Storm on Eddie, taunts him and is about to pin him when Abyss interrupts. Abyss gets on the apron and stares at Storm as Storm announces Abyss has joined him. Abyss is his tag partner, and Storm tags him in. Abyss choke slams Edwards, hits the Black Hole Slam, and gets a hug from Storm, who tags himself in for the win. Storm gets the pin, and the Revolution are the tag champs now. Post match Storm hits Eye of The Storm on Richards for good measure and walks off with the boys and his belts.

Madison Rayne vs Taryn Terrell
Taryn fights hard and Madison tries to walk off, and avoid Taryn. It fails and she dies. Rayne takes advantage with cheap shots and I just stop caring. FFW! Taryn wins.

Kurt Angle is backstage on the phone. Bobby Lashley walks in and says he wants his rematch tonight and Angle says he can't have it. Roode is busy doing promotional work and isn't around. Lashley threatens him and walks off.

That new Indian wrestler is backstage and is jumped by Manik who says he sounds like a superhero and he was awesome at the bar. Manik says there's a powerful man he wants Bashira to meet and they walk off to see Storm.

Kenny King comes out to the ring and introduces himself. He has a few things he wants to talk about. The first thing is his crew. MVP is away on a photoshoot and, yeah, Lashley is pissed off, but it's not at the crew. He's pissed off at Angle and Roode. When Lashley gets mad he destroys so he'll be champ again soon. The next thing is to sort out his beef with Chris Melendez, and he calls Chris out to the ring. Chris comes out to the ring flanked by Mr Anderson. King complains that he's been classed as not patriotic now. He loves America, but hates Melendez for being a fraud. Anderson says Chris is a hero and an inspiration. Great, another "America is so fucking awesome we're going to suck our own dicks" angle. Anderson insults King and King says God gave man one mouth and one asshole, and he's not sure which one Anderson is using, and calls Melendez Peggy. Love it. King is angry that people call Chris a wrestler and he wants to fight Melendez one on one as long as Chris has his blonde girlfriend sit at home. Chris says Ken believes in him and so do the crowd, so he'll do it and he'll win. King will learn that Chris is better than him and that he belongs here. King says that Ken is a role model, but he learned when he was a kid that role models are like Santa Claus; they don't exist. He decks Anderson and runs off.

Gail Kim and Kurt Angle are backstage with Angle. They both want to fight Havok and Angle says next week it's a threeway for the title. They thank him and walk off. Well that was short and sweet.

The Beautiful People (and The Bromans) vs The Menagerie (minus Rob Terry) in an Elimination Match
Yes folks this is a 4 on 3 handicap match. Of course if Rebel gets eliminated it's straight 2 on 2 because this isn't Lucha Underground. Rebel and Angelina Love start things off and Steve slaps her ass. The distraction lets Rebel get the pin and eliminate Angelina Love. Knux comes in and hits a fucking drop kick after a cartwheel. I had no idea the guy was that agile. He knocks Jessie Godderz down but DJZ hits a cross body and Godderz hits the pin. Steve runs in and pins DJZ immediately so its a mixed tag now.

Rebel and Velvet Sky go at it and things turn into a softcore lesbian porn as Tazz makes an amazing Stretch Armstrong reference. Love runs interference and Velvet Sky gets the win. Knux argues with the ref about the spray in the eye and DJZ blindsides Steve so Jessie can finish him off. Velvet begs for the tag and attacks Steve. At this point Steve should be allowed to punch her in the face but he can't because of feminism. Steve reverses something and gets the pin so it's one on one. Jessie shredrapes Steve hard. Steve manages to hit a Tornado DDT from the corner and gets the win. Menagerie win! MENAGERIE WIN! Mavenfan is seen celebrating in the crowd.

Eric Young and Jeremy Borasch are backstage. They debate if it's possible to actually have the taste slapped out of your mouth and Spud runs in dressed in an army uniform suit. He asks JB if he's okay and thanks Eric for everything he's done. This week Eric is facing Tyrus and Spud asks if he can be in Eric's corner. Eric says sure, and says they'll put "The bigger they are the harder they fall" to the test and tells Spud to call him EY and not "Sir".

The Revolution are backstage and Storm congratulates Abyss and notices Bashira. Is that his name? Manik tries to introduce him but Storm spits on the ground, says there is a price to pay for salvation, and slaps Manik in the face and tells him to get rid of Bashira. They walk off together and Storm calls Manik back and whispers something in his ear. Manik bows and walks off again.

Tyrus vs Eric Young
Tyrus punches the beard off of Eric Young and Spud tries to intimidate Ethan Carter outside the ring. Ethan tells Tyrus to crush Eric Young, and he goes for the Swagger Bomb. Eric avoids it and fights back. Eric hits a sort of slam and Spud stops Ethan from interfering and even knocks him on his ass. Eric drops the elbow and manages to get the win. Tyrus is now buried deeper than the bones of the legendary Funkasaurus. Post match Bobby Lashley hops in the ring and Spears Eric Young before just destroying Spud. He grabs a chair and traps Eric's arm in it before stomping in the chair and putting a crossface on him, while the chair is still on his arm. Austin Aries (he lives?) runs out with a chair for the save. Aries grabs a mic and challenges Lashley to a match. Lashley walks off while accepting the match.

Samuel Shaw and Brittany are backstage. She says she has to say something to him that won't make him happy. Gunner came on to her. Heh. Shaw walks off pissed off while Brittany smirks. Sam Shaw should know Gunner only has eyes for him.

Samoa Joe comes out to the ring. Apparently he's injured after the match last week. They air a video of him being put into an ambulance last week and Joe says he needs to do something. The hardest decisions are the right ones and he has to make the right decision. He's been informed that he's not medically cleared to compete and has to go on the shelf for a while. He wanted to reinvigorate the X-Division and bring the X-Division back to the light. It was the division of the true wrestler, for the true wrestling fan. That was a great line. Joe knows there are people who risk it all for his belt, and those men deserve better. The fans deserve better. As a result Joe has made the decision to vacate the title. VACANT WINS ANOTHER TITLE! VACANT RULES! Joe puts the belt on one of the turnbuckles and says when he's healthy he's going after whoever wins the belt. Tazz keeps questioning what the injury is and now I'm curious too. Joe walks off after saying he's coming after whoever gets the belt. Next week it's Low Ki, Tigre Uno, Manik and DJZ in a 4 way for the title.

Bram is backstage. He pretty much says he's going to kill Tommy Dreamer. That's it.

Samuel Shaw vs Gunner in a No DQ match
I have to say, Christie Hemme is really comfortable with Sammy Shaw now. Shaw ducks to the side of the ramp and hides ready to jump Gunner. The distraction works and Sam jumps Gunner and chokes him with his shirt. Okay I've seen enough people getting choked, and enough people making out. The pair fight outside the ring for a few minutes and Gunner tosses his broken ass in the ring and beats him with a chair. Gunner beats Shaw with a chair outside the ring too. Shaw drops Gunner on the steel steps and teases suplexing him on to them. Gunner fights out and drops Shaw into the ring instead. Gunner punches Shaw out of the air and grabs yet another chair. Even though there's already four or five in the ring. He hits Shaw with a chair and tries to Superplex him into a pile of chairs. He hits the Superplex but takes most of the chairs himself because he's an idiot. Gunner crawls over and goes to attack Shaw, but Brittany distracts him. Gunner drags Shaw outside and powerbombs him on to the steps to mess with Brittany. Gunner tosses Shaw into the ring and Brittany follows him. She gets between him and Shaw and kicks Gunner square in the nuts. Gunner grabs Brittany's leg and gets a chair shot to the back for his trouble. Shaw goes to put Gunner in the choke but Gunner reverses it and slams Shaw back on to the chairs for the win.

Bobby Lashley vs Austin Aries
Aries goes for the win pretty early with the Last Chancery but of course he had no chancery. Aries keeps up the offence as much as he can to wear Lashley down and Lashley hits the occasional power spot. Lashley does his best BRACK LASNAR impression and hits suplex after suplex after suplex after suplex and you get the idea. Aries literally bites his way out of a Superplex attempt and hits a missle dropkick. Aries hits the discus forearm but can't get the Brainbuster in. He hits a Neckbreaker through the ropes and a Suicide Dive. The pair put on a pretty great match. Lashley gets back into things by tossing Aries off the turnbuckle into the steel steps and Aries looked like he legit passed out. Lashley whips him into the stairs and Aries comes to life. Lashley hits the Spear outside the ring and the match ends in a double countout. I didn't even realise there was a count going on. Lashley Press Slams Aries on to the ramp and locks in the Crossface. Other refs come out to seperate Lashley and Aries and Lashley walks off to end the show.

This post originally was posted at our affiliates @ BoredWrestlingFan.com .