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http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-october-12th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-october-12th-2015/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2015 02:32:16 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews Alicia Fox and I'm like Becky Lynch Braun Strowman Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Cesaro Charlotte Dean Ambrose Demon Kane Dolph Ziggler Jack Swagger John Cena Kalisto Kane Kevin Owens King Barrett Lana Monday Night RAW Naomi Neville Nikki Bella October 12th 2015 Randy Orton Raw review Roman Reigns Rusev Sasha Banks Sheamus Summer Rae The Ascension The Authority The Dudleyz Undertaker http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14564 This week has been a little slow at the restaurant, I’m thinking it was the nice weather over the weekend. My brother went in for open heart surgery this morning and from the looks of it everything went as smooth as it could have. He is heavily sedated until tomorrow, so I will probably visit […]

This week has been a little slow at the restaurant, I’m thinking it was the nice weather over the weekend. My brother went in for open heart surgery this morning and from the looks of it everything went as smooth as it could have. He is heavily sedated until tomorrow, so I will probably visit then. Those were the ‘exciting’ things that happened in my life, oh and for and update, the homeless kid is now going to the high school. We were able to talk to teachers and keep tabs on him. He will get a meal and a ride to school if he shows up at 7 A.M. everyday, let’s hope this keeps up!

Raw Opening

• Kane is alone in the Authority’s office. They say they won’t make it until way late and want to know if Kane has it all under control.
• First off, if you are the show runners, and our head figures of a company, and said company has a flagship show that you are in charge of that basically generates the business needed to get your product out there. Why on earth would you not be at that show? Secondly, if you can’t make it but have set up a system to take care of itself in your absence, I can understand using that system. It’s proven that their system is ‘Let Kane run it” and Kane has proven to let his emotions control the show continuously. Why on earth would you trust your program or product with an incompetent employee? For real, as business owners or show runners the Authority is the shits.
• Stephanie is yelling at someone over the phone, ‘don’t make me learn your name’ HOLY SHIT! I don’t care who you are or how rich you are, that is some mean verbiage. We are all people, just have different jobs that bring in different streams of income. Sometimes we don’t have jobs, but we are all here. I don’t know, maybe cause I work in the service industry I am vehemently against the ‘better than thou’ stuff.

And I’m Like… Corporate Kane is running the show and puts himself in a lumberjack match against Seth Rollins, right after he said he would be professional. Now the talking point for the entire show is “Is Kane professional?”

Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton Promo

• Dean says that HHH is running late so ‘the inmates are running the asylum’ like in Gotham this year. He says he is in the mood for a fight and Orton comes out. Orton has a mic and verbally blows Chicago. Chicago is the typical male and reciprocates with a “Let’s go Cubs” not an “RKO”
• Orton says that Ambrose and himself will face Harper and Braun. Ambrose says he will lead the way cause he knows how to fight Wyatts, Randy says he was hearing voices when Dean showed up.
• This is a fight about trust and who can beat the Wyatts better, and who should lead the team…

New Day Promo

• New Day comes out to “New Day Rocks” not “New DayRocks” lol Chicago
• New Day is talking about how they slayed last week, they are upset Orton and Ambrose talk about the Wyatts and not them.
• My cousin who the other day told me that “Sasha and Bayley wasn’t that good, I don’t care what the crowd or anyone else thinks. We knew how it was gonna end, it shoulda been that Asian girl.” In that same conversation he brought up how he loves The New Day after last weeks beat down cause “I didn’t see that coming.” This is a cousin who buys shirts, dvd’s, and has the Network. He is part of the audience WWE targets and it baffles me how he enjoys wrestling in a different way than I do.
• New Day brings up the fact that they decimated legends and future hall of famers, they say people can “Neva eva, eva eva, eva eva, get on their level.
• They bring up the fact that what they did last week has ever been done. Not by The Shield, The Authority, Evolution, Legacy. They laugh at Orton for being what they dub a ‘groupie’ cause he was in so many factions.
• “Out with the old and in with the New Day” They mention Derrick Rose and get boo’s before they even say anything about him.
• Kane gets on the Titantron, “Inmates are not running the asylum tonight.. I am.”

New Day vs. Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose

• Xavier is doing great as a manager. I love when they are subtle about things, like when Ambrose runs to the ropes, Xavier acts as if he is about to trip Dean up. It is nice to have that threat of a third man, and not just a cheerleader or distraction finish instigator.
• We come back from commercial and Orton has Kofi in a rebound suplex. Cole tells us the story is that Orton and Ambrose are working well together. Good thing he does that, now I don’t have to pay attention to the story the wrestlers are telling, or the match then…
• How can you convey sarcasm in text?
• Big E beats on Randy Orton and does his fun little hip gyration with musical accompaniment by Xavier Woods
• I wish we could label the ‘smart crowds’ so we can get a Bret Hart ’97 type thing. See in ’97 Bret was anti-America but pro-Canada, so every time they were in America it was boo’s, if they were in Canada cheers. What I’m saying is, if we could label certain cities (Chicago, New York, Philly) as ‘smart crowds’, they could play up some ‘away game’ like storylines with the good guys on the show. “Randy Orton and Ambrose will be in Chicago next week, and we all know Chicago likes to give them a very hard time for being themselves.” Then when people hear John Cena or Ryback getting boo’d they can be like “that’s evil Chicago”
• I want to thank New Day for starting the “clap clapclap” chant thing, whenever I’m in a store, I clap like that just in hopes that a wrestling fan will hear it and get excited!
• Xavier has certain song snippets to go along with certain moves that Kofi and Big E do, I thought that the trombone thing would get old fast, but Xavier is able to keep it fresh weekly.
• Big E hits a shoulderblock on Orton and does Ortons extended arm pose but with a hip gyration.
• Big E goes for the outside dive and hits the floor hard, the hot tag happens to Ambrose and the crowd livens up a bit. Tag matches are hard in cities with the ‘evil crowds’. I wish smart fans would know the story the WWE tries to tell and boo and cheer accordingly sometimes, like yeah do your New Day chants, but boo when E does the Orton taunt, clap when Orton is in the reverse chin lock. That’s just me being greedy with my wrestling experiences.
• When Orton does his signature moves and taunts the crowd answers his every cue. It makes the match seem so much more exciting, New Day steals the pin mid moves of doom and robs Chicago of the RKO. That get’s boo’s.

And I’m Like… that was nice. Some of the top performers in the industry putting on an entertaining wrestling match. Cole told us what the story was, I thought it was like that too except he forgot to mention that New Day won cause they are a team and know where each other is at, while Orton and Ambrose are more solo minded men and that’s why they had miscommunication. Let’s hope they can find a groove as a team before they face the Wyatts.

So I think my memory is bad. I try and think back to Summerslam and can’t think if Undertaker had long hair or short hair. In the Hell in the Cell poster its long, but for the life of me I picture it short.

There is a video package that highlights their previous matches with names like ‘The Shock’ and ‘The Controversy’ He has short hair at Summerslam, ok, that Hell in the Cell picture is really long hair though!!

I’m most intrigued about Lesnar and Undertaker cause, how can they have an entertaining and brutal Hell in a Cell match?

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

• This is the first woman’s match I’ve watched since the Ironwoman match at NXT:Respect. They obviously won’t get 30 minutes and all that emotion. But they are developed characters.. I think. Nikki is the face that runs the place for women, she brags about being the best when she really isn’t. She is very mean. Naomi is an athlete that is married to an Uso, she has attitude but its more braggadocio than anything. Both women want to hold onto their spots. This is a match to prove they are worth competing with these other women.
• That was me hyping myself up for a match that had no hype on Raw.
• They go back to NXT:Respect and how amazing Sasha and Bayley was.. WE GET A DAMN VIDEO PACKAGE!! If you haven’t seen it, see it. I would link you to read my views on it but F That! This match needs to be felt to be truly appreciated. That is great wrestling right there. The video package got applause. Now the Boss gets to see the people she will surpass. “We Want Sasha” chants. Reminiscent of a few years ago and “Daniel Bryan” chants. That means WWE will toy with our hearts of Sasha.
• Nikki and Naomi are doing good, they have high impact moves and a quick pace. Nikki plays to the crowd and get’s cat calls and boo’s, also some cheers from the women.
• We are a few minutes into the match and Sasha is trying to get the crowd to clap for Naomi who is in a reverse chin lock. They either don’t do it or chant “you can’t wrestle.” See what I mean by ‘evil crowds’?
• Sasha should win valiantly for a few months only to be dominated by Nikki Bella, that would make me cry and hate Nikki.
• Naomi is being aggressive with her strikes and the crowd is quiet. Nikki raises her arm and the crowd responds. Naomi dives onto Nikki to some response. Then Brie grabs the mic and says “we want Sasha” a bunch… The crowd is confused, Sasha goes and gets Brie and the crowd kinda responds. Byron says it was to drive a wedge between Team B.A.D. Cole says that Team Bella knows how to play the game.
• I DON’T GET IT!!! Nikki wins with the Rack Attack though.

And I’m Like… That match was all kinds of weird. The story was Naomi and Nikki are fighting, the crowd wants Sasha. Naomi and Nikki starting winning the crowd over, Brie grabbed the mic and chanted that she wants Sasha too. Naomi doesn’t react and the crowd kinda chants with Brie and kinda doesn’t. Then it ends…. I’m gonna watch that Ironman match again this week to cleanse my palate.

WWE does this thing about Paige and it’s actually pretty horrible so yeah.

John Cena Promo

• Cena comes out to boo’s cause ‘evil Chicago’ I don’t get why he gets boo’d for existing. Cena brings up why Allstate Arena is so special to him.
• He says that Chicago is passion and they appreciate excellence, he verbally blows them and they all cheer. God, I do not like Chicago, fills the arena with boo’s, he praises them and they cheer in agreement.

U.S. Open Challenge

United States Championship Match

John Cena (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

• Ugh, kinda.
• I really want Cena to win, I used to like Dolph too! I have that pink shirt with the light blue letters . I gave my money to support him, and now it’s like… I still like the shirt and that’s about it.
• Cena has a hold on Dolph and notices the crowd chanting. JBL points out he is big match John while he does not show attention at all to Ziggler.
• CENA LEGITS STOPS THE MATCH!!! He points out someone just got engaged and She Said Yes! that is cool and gets me a bit veklempt. “She SaidYes” ok I’m getting worked up. That is such a cool moment. Having a huge life moment like that happen in front of that much support. PLUS IT’S INVOLVING WRESTLING. All I did was get married in a Daniel Bryan shirt. I’m jelly at this couple.
• I missed part of the match cause our fat cat Albus escaped out side… I have three cats, Albus, Macho Man, and Miss Elizabeth. Albus is a shit. Orange Tabby.
• The crowd is way into this match now after that proposal.
• Cena reversed Ziggler’s sleeper into an Attitude Adjustment and Ziggler rolled to the outside.
• The story is Ziggler has a chance because and I’m quoting JBL “that jet lag is getting to Cena.”
• Cena shows he is a true competitor by stopping the count out and putting Dolph in the ring to pin him. Ziggler kicks out at two and “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants break out. Even though the crowd fully supported Cena STOPPING A DAMN MATCH to acknowledge the engagement.
• Ziggler goes for Sweet Chin Music, the stomps and all. He got rocked with a lariat cause Cena knows what those stomps mean.
• Ziggler reversed the Attitude Adjustment into a Fameasser, it was executed with some sloppiness but it added realism to a match that was STOPPED FOR A PROPOSAL.
• Cena traps Ziggler in the STFU and Ziggler struggled but got to the ropes, I am now waning on this match and want it to end.
• I bitch about STOPPING THE MATCH but that proposal was the best part about this contest. Ziggler raked Cena’s eyes and Superkicked Cena for two. That nearfall got me.
• Remember when crowds would “Let’s Go Ziggler” all the time? Yeah, that don’t happen anymore, they will cheer for Dolph sure, but not like they used to.
• a boo/yay spot, trading finisher reversals, Zig Zag by Ziggler and Cena kicks out. Ziggler staggers into an AA for the Cena wins lol.

And I’m Like… For real if your Ziggler why let Cena stop the match to acknowledge the goings ons in a crowd? Dude should of at least got a distraction roll-up attempt. Ziggler is soft shell taco, mild sauce. Cena can put good matches on like crazy though, one day, when he is gone, we will miss Cena.

Kane is waiting by the speakerphone. Kane is reporting to The Authority about how good tonight is going. Stephanie bitches in the background at a flight attendant for spilling coffee on her right after HHH says they are experiencing turbulence. As HHH hangs up on Kane, Cole says “The Authority still doesn’t know the main event.” Cause they can call Kane from the plane but can’t look anything up on the internet or maybe text ANYONE ELSE ON THE SHOW!! Seth Rollins has HHH’s number I’m sure.

The Dudleyz vs. The Ascension

• We know what’s gonna happen here.
• Konnor goes for yah kicks but the Chicago crowd is evil and just wants tables. They don’t want to YAH with Konnor.
• “ECW” chants from the crowd, cheers too for all Bubbas signature spots.
• Dudley Device and JBL calls it an “homage to the Road Warriors”. 3D and Dudleyz win

And I’m Like… That is a match that happened. Dudleyz are against New Day at Hell in a Cell, they did not interact and we are no longer saving the tables.

Sheamus and King Barrett vs. Neville and Cesaro

• This is a surprise, no entrances or story beforehand other than. Barrett is back and hit Neville, but hey!
• Cesaro chants cause ‘evil crowds’ love indie guys, it’s their kryptonite.
• Cole tells JBL “It’s funny you call all these matches and don’t remember anything.” hahaha Kettle meet Pot.
• Cole says King Barrett called Neville a peasant and so “ let them eat cake” I was just discussing this phrase with a customer after reading Tidbits . I wanted to know how that was a bitchy thing to say. If I had no bread and my queen wanted to let me eat cake, how is that bad? After some discussion we came to the conclusion that Cake is a more expensive bread so she was being coy and heartless when she said it.
• This is the most European match by the way. Like WWE ’12 United Kingdom .
• These guys are hard hitting and having a fun time out there, Cesaro is handling both Sheamus and Barrett very well. This would be a good tag team rivalry if it was about something.
• Barrett hit Bullhammer on Neville and Sheamus got the pin.

And I’m Like… Wanting more, I feel like these four could really tear the house down with some emotional investment and time. It was nice to learn something during the match though. Let them eat cake is like what the storyline writers say to us fans. Hey Raw we are peasants and have no emotion in our Monday wrestling show.. “Then be invested in wrestlers you used to like, but now for no apparent reason.”

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

• Reigns starts talking, he says “Good to be in Chicago, babbbbaaaaayy” Reigns talks about how Wyatt cost him the Money in the Bank briefcase. He get’s ‘What’d’ cause Chicago.
• He asks if Chicago can not hear him or something, he says when you have beef you settle it in the ring. The crowd is all What’s Beef?
• I would rather have a video package than Roman talk. I fast forwarded it til the Wyatts came out.
• I fast forwarded that too cause what the hell?!?! This is about ONE THING that happened in June… Reigns holds onto grudges forever, Wyatt cost Dean Ambrose so many opportunities, and he only feuds with the Wyatts still cause Roman Noodles is.
• The match finally starts and Braun shows he is way stronger than Roman.
• JBL says fighting Braun Strowman is like fighting Jeep Swenson .. Is that a compliment or an insult?
• For about 5 minutes Braun dominates the match. Roman gets a few moves in and it does nothing to the crowd.
• Once Roman does the count along punch thing the crowd is right there to “1,2,3,4” Wrestling crowds love counting, we really do.
• I’ve noticed that Braun does not acknowledge the crowd at all, that might be his character work or his inexperience. It doesn’t help the cause in getting a crowd engaged in your act. It is different though.
• Roman is able to FINALLY knock Braun Strowman off his feet and Reigns wins by count out.

And I’m Like… That was kinda cool, Reigns looked resilient, Braun got knocked off his feet but not in a way that makes him look weak at all. The match wasn’t much fun but it felt very old school. I probably would praise it in a different setting. There wasn’t much to not like, it just wasn’t fun. The video package will make this seem way better. and HOLY SHIT “Husky Harris” chants cause CHICAGO.

Kane talks to The Authority again, they are headed this way but there is bad reception. HHH just asked what the main event was again, Kane told him but you know BAD RECEPTION. This is just dumb. I don’t get this as a storyline. It’s Kane is incompetent as Corporate Kane and can beat people up as Demon Kane, except we know that Corporate Kane uses Demon Kane powers to make it seem like Corporate circumstances are beyond his control and Kane is just being a good employee. The Authority are dumb bosses and boneheaded at the moment. So, it works?

Rusev vs. Ryback

• We start with a video recap of Summer Rae proposing to Rusev and Rusev turning her down for the moment. Then Cole tells us Rusev and Lana got engaged even though they ‘can’t stand each other.’ Cena did not acknowledge either or STOP A MATCH! to do so.
• Summer Rae is still out here with Rusev and we are getting a Rusev is old school Mormon . The crowd is confused on what is going on.
• Summer is probably pissed in real life cause where does she go from here? Ziggler shed this storyline, Rusev and Lana are really together. Summer kinda just sits on the bench and watches the Divas Revolutionize, her storyline evaporate, and her enemy and boyfriend legit getting married.
• Let’s hope there isn’t some girl upset at home after seeing the John Cena endorsed engagement.
• Ryback and Rusev have a match that Ryback wins.

And I’m Like.. This is weird. The crowd is quiet for this and the story is muddled. Even deeper though, how these feuds are playing out. The Dudleyz beat The Ascension and at the end JBL says “I hope the New Day are taking notes.” Ryback beats Rusev and Cole goes “Hope your watching Kevin Owens.” Like we see a character and right before they go off screen we are reminded who they fight in two weeks. Weird. So Summer Rae grabs the mic and says she could of done this privately but she wants the whole world.. AND everyone here to see she got engaged. Summer is pissed that she found out Rusev was engaged to Lana for one month off of TMZ. She said Rusev isn’t strong but he is a whipped little boy. Summer is making Rusev seem like a bad guy but this story is the bad guy. Good Riddance. Can we forget this whole thing? Forget Ziggler doing Lana to spite Rusev. Summer becoming friends then more than friends with Rusev, Summer doing Ziggler cause um… just cause. Now a surprise engagement… ugh.. Dog Ziggler though, let’s remeber Dog Ziggler.

Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens

• Bad guy Kevin Owens gets cheered because….. Chicagoan Kryptonite.
• Kalisto is crazy fast and hits Owens with kicks like he was Thumper
• A smattering of “Kevin Owens/Kevin Owens Sucks”
• Instead of enjoying the match the crowd tries to start smart chants like this was NXT.
• Owens either doesn’t catch Kalisto or Kalisto either messed up but Kalisto did a cool springboard moved to the outside and just landed on his head…
• Kalisto is hitting his signature spots but the crowd just goes ‘OH!!!’ and not like they are buying it though.
• Pop-Up Powerbomb for the win.

And I’m Like… “That’s what Ryback has to contend with at Hell in a Cell” lol cause they are against each other in two weeks. That match was a thing that was supposed to be wow, amazing, but Kalisto is the apple that tried to fall from the tree but botched it. Sin Cara.

Charlotte and Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella and Alicia Fox

• Bad news, Paige is on commentary. I am going to mute this, is that alright?
• My wife said thank you when I hit mute! hahahaha
• Sometimes the option for just crowd noise and no commentary would be nice…
• Charlotte tries to work over Brie’s arm but Brie gets out of it, Bella goes after Becky Lynch and Charlotte catches Brie in the moves of doom.
• Charlotte gets distracted by Nikki and Brie gets some moves in.
• Natayla goes to stop Nikki and Paige confronts Nattie and pushes her into the apron which KTFO of Nattie.
• Charlotte is distracted by that and Brie gets a pin on Diva’s champion Charlotte.
• Where was Becky Lynch? She was still knocked out from Brie Bella..

And I’m Like… That was too much distractions… too many distractions… too many distractions. No one really benefitted. I did cause of mute.

Kane talks to HHH and Stephanie again and they finally hear that Kane is gonna face Seth Rollins. They say that Kane can’t wrestle Seth under any circumstances. Anyone but Kane. Kane smiles as a DIAL TONE happens in the background, because cell phones. The crowd chants CM PUNK as we fade away. Let it go Chicago, let it go.

Seth Rollins shows up on the show for the first time in the night. Three hours in too. Seth is telling Big Show he doesn’t feel like anyone has his back except Big Show. Show laughs..

Corporate Kane tells Seth that HE will not be the opponent for Rollins tonight, but he found a replacement. THIS STORYLINE YOU GUYS!! AHHH!!!

Lumberjacks comeout and they are not in flannels? WHAT THE HELL

Lumberjack Match

Seth Rollins vs. Demon Kane

• Jack Swagger sighting… New Day playing Air Guitar to Seth’s music.
• See Corporate said “I” can’t wrestle. So The Authority is dumb.
• This is stupid, it’s not a split personality storyline. It’s Kane is a smart guy who knows he has two gimmicks.
• He then acts like he doesn’t know, everyone knows. The Authority is not everyone I guess.
• The crowd is silent throughout the contest
• It is a typical Lumberjack match, the bad guys don’t touch Kane cause they are scared, everyone doesn’t like Seth so he gets thrown back in.
• New Day attacks Demon Kane and the lumberjacks all brawl cause Lumberjack match
• We recreate Undertaker being beaten up by all the bad guys . Except we are the instant gratification generation, so Kane beats up all the bad guys and tombstones Seth Rollins for the win.

And I’m Like… Kane was more professional and safe towards Seth Rollins than the Authority has been all year. This was a dumb episode arc but overall an enjoyable episode. I was gonna watch the Democratic debate but forgot to DVR it so onto bed.

You all have a good one.

Please Share or tweet or pin. That is very nice of you.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-29th-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-29th-2015/#comments Wed, 30 Sep 2015 02:00:00 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews and I'm like Ashley from HR Big E Big Show Charlotte Corporate Kane Demon Kane Dolph Ziggler Donny Deutsch Dudley Boyz John Cena Kevin Owens King Barrett Kofi Kingston Mark Henry Miz Neviile New Day Paul Heyman PCB Prime Time Players Raw review Rusev Ryback September 28th Raw Seth Rollins Stardust Team bella The Authority Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14427 ‘Ello everyone, I hope your days are going alright. My caretaker has the parkinglot getting repaved by a bunch of amateurs and they are currently leaf blowing dirt all over our patio. What greater time to enjoy my favorite form of escapism than right now? Show starts with a Kane/Seth Rollins video package and the […]

‘Ello everyone, I hope your days are going alright. My caretaker has the parkinglot getting repaved by a bunch of amateurs and they are currently leaf blowing dirt all over our patio. What greater time to enjoy my favorite form of escapism than right now?

Show starts with a Kane/Seth Rollins video package and the opening credits.

John Cena Promo

• Cena says the fans seem salty tonight but “Have no fear, The champ is here” Hot bars Cena. Hot bars.
• U.S. Open challenge is back!!!
• The anticipation of who is gonna come out is sweet. I was so interested in just the Raw graphic on the titantron
• New Day comes out playing Cena’s music on the trombone and saying “John Cena your title reign is booty! and clap for your soon to be U.S. champs and get beat like it’s your duty!” Damn Big E!!!! Taken Cena to the lyrical woodshed
• The Big E gyrating hip dance is now shared with Xavier Woods.
• They put over their match with the Dudleys, give John Cena a new slogan “Hustle, Loyalty, and Booty” cause he is booty. Kofi says we are on the verge of having “New Day as your Tag Team Champs, New Day as your United States champs, AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!” Big E asks “at the same damn time?” Kofi and Xavier say U.S. Champs Tag Champs AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!” Then they say they should be Team Scrooge McDuck because they are swimming in gold. Xavier is sure to point the reference is from Duck Tails to keep with his original I love the 90’s gimmick. Then to the tune of John Cena’s music they say “New U.S. chaaaaamps” They legit kill it at every point in this promo. The best right now the best.
• Cena says you better be serious or I’ll beat all your asses, choose one and face me.
• Xavier says Cena is about to get “Lost in the Woods”

United States Title Match- John Cena (c) vs. Xavier Woods

• This is a big moment for Xavier Woods. This match should be fun.
• Cena cranks out the clothesline on Woods who screams while he goes to the outside “I Wasn’t Ready!”
• I want a Let’s Go Cena/New DayRocks chant. The ref throws Kofi and Big E out.
• Perfectly timed commercial break as the New Day leaves and we are left with Cena vs. Woods on his lonesome.
• We come back mid 5 moves of doom for Cena, Woods gets a kick reversal in and gets a near fall
• Cole keeps pointing out how Cena says there is a time to be serious and a time to have fun, it gives the New Day a credible way of staying viable as threats. They can always say they weren’t serious enough and took it too lightly.
• Woods hits some big moves and we skipped the first and middle part of the matches story and are right in the third part. Cena keeps going for Attitude Adjustments, making Xavier seem like a legit threat.
• Xavier hits semi-signature moves that are unique to Woods as a wrestler. Near falls are happening too,
• Woods keeps reversing the Attitude Adjustment and hits more fast high impact offense. Eat Defeat .
• Xavier jumps from the top rope and lands directly on his back.. Ouch…
• Cena puts Woods in a STF-U and New Day comes out for the save, the Dudleyz come out to save Cena.
• New Day grab Devon and Cena and Booty Ray go outside the ring to save him so New Day goes into the ring and commercial.. Smart move.

John Cena vs. Xavier Woods

Dudley Boyz and John Cena vs. New Day

• Kane made this match during commercial.
• How often have we seen the New Day wrestling as a trio? Usually Xavier is on the outside tromboning the audience
• Cole brings up the New Day’s Public Service Announcement . Allow them to reintroduce themselves.
• The little kids are really into the match, the chants of just CENA,CENA,CENA.. Since they are kids they don’t know chant cadence yet.
• Cena is taking the brunt of the offense here, building to a Dudley hot tag, which will lead to a 3D right?
• Devon gets tagged in and the crowd does not really respond at all, they just want tables.
• I think the Road Warriors are better than the Dudleyz. The Dudleyz are one trick ponies in the use of tables. Sure people pop for their Wazzzup! and 3D, but no one reacts to them in an actual match.
• Yep the Whhasssss Uuupp! move hits and gets a bit of noise, the 3D gets a bit more noise.
• Xavier grabs Booty Ray’s leg and Kofi puts Trouble in Devons Paradise and NEW DAY WINS!!!

And I’m Like…. That was great! That was 35 minutes of story progression, entertaining promos, and good wrestling. If that was a sitcom it would be done and accomplished all it needed too. Bravo to all involved. Mainly the New Day though, they are geese laying golden eggs on the regular.

Backstage the Authority introduce us to a new character. Ashley from HR. Kane says he has never met Ashley from Human Resources before… He is COO and hasn’t met HR? WWE has an HR? This is stupid….

We also see Reigns gearing up to face Bray Wyatt, Ambrose is asking to help him out and be at ringside for his Brudda! Ambrose is like dude I know your still mad about that Money in the Bank match. He starts talking ish about Randy Orton and Orton shows up, and yeah. We know tonight is not the end of this feud.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

• LOL WHHAAAT!?!?! For real with this? Stop it WWE, these two should be special not a throw away match to get Big Show tough points before losing to Brock Lesnar on Saturday.
• Mark Henry couldn’t even bodyslam the Big Show.
• Big Show speared and bodyslammed Henry then told a fan he was gonna “slap him in his damn face”
• Show just hits bodyslams like this is 1983. The move works though, and Mark is yelling crazy loud to really sell it.
• I am not sure if this makes Show look super strong or Mark Henry depressingly weak.
• After Big Show channels his inner Big Zeke he hits Mark Henry with a KTFO Punch!

And I’m Like… That felt really old school, I kinda liked it, at the same time it feels like it sucked all the energy out of the crowd..

We see an advertisement of Miz TV with Charlotte and Becky next, that won’t help the crowd from being restless.

Miz TV with Charlotte and Becky Lynch

• Miz TV should have a ticker on the bottom telling us what superstars are saying or storyline updates, that would make it seem a bit different
• They show Paige getting all mean on the mic last week. She says Nattie with out the T’s. Naa-E. It’s like you know how in the South people talk by taking the ou out of words. The UK must not use any T’s.
• Miz sings Hello Drama my old friend . Then brings out the C and B in PCB
• I cringe whenever they touch a mic. Like one of my regulars, everytime he comes in and we have other customers it’s so scary. Scary as in like “I am afraid of this embarrassed feeling I will get when they open their mouth.”
• Paige gets called out by Becky and Charlotte, but Miz says don’t invite people on his show, so Becky throws Miz’ microphone out the ring.
• Bella’s come out and they remind me of some Anime group. Like I shouldn’t say Anime because I only watch One Piece but they remind me of a gang of pirates from One Piece.
• Charlotte needs a manager to talk for her, she is trying so hard, but she does not have the social ability to talk normal..
• The crowd is reacting to this segment though.. They are making noise when they are supposed to, that’s good!
• The girls start brawling, and the chairs and microphones are still in the ring and I get a bit nervous whenever that happens. It seems unnecessarily dangerous to fall on. PCB unites and beats up the Bella team.

Team PCB vs. Team Bella

• I can’t be mad at this, the girls are getting the same 30 or so minutes that the guys got. Their promo, although not as entertaining as the New Day’s still got the story across and built drama to the match we are witnessing now.
• We also hear JBL saying that if you watch Total Diva’s tomorrow night you’ll understand why none of the Diva’s get along.
• Brie tries to do Yes! kicks to Becky to no response from the crowd. We hear a smattering of No! chants and it draws a smirk on Brie’s face.
• The girls are trading wrestling moves and reversals, the crowd is quiet though.
• Why is Team B.A.D. rarely featured now? They are regulated to 3rd hour non storyline matches. At least we have Sasha Banks vs. Bayley in an Ironwoman match at Takeover in two weeks.
• Paige left her team, Na-E came out to help, Paige beat her up, Nikki pinned Charlotte,

And I’m Like… meh, everything was timed out about the same as the first part of the show, it just didn’t strike the right entertainment nerve. Alot of the girls stuff feels like its acting. New Day and Cena play it off where it feels like characters, Diva’s feel like people playing characters.

We are brought back to Raw with a Brock/Big Show video package. JBL used the “they once broke the ring” line when talking about Big Show and Mark Henry AND Big Show and Brock Lesnar.

The video package is pretty damn good though, If you forgot everything you knew about wrestling and only based your excitement off of this video package. This would be so so so sweet. WE know that Show has lost so much though, we see Brock as a special attraction and not Show. This is the Brock Lesnar tour, Big Show will not win. It feels very old school though, like a Terry Gordy and Andre The Giant .

Seth Rollins is talking to Ashley from HR and Kane shows up and presents Seth Rollins severed statue head to Seth. Ashley thought it was nice, Rollins knew he was crazy. This is like mating the Warrior vs. Hogan in WCW with the Abyss storyline .

Prime Time Players vs. Wyatt Family

• This is just a match, no history behind it, so let’s say it’s to get higher in the tag team ranks. Let’s say that The Wyatt’s are the 3rd rank and Prime Time are the 2nd rank. That put’s Dudley’z at number one contender the the champion New Day. So if the Wyatt’s win they are only two matches away from title contention.
• Now that I care about what’s going on. Strowman is dominating Darren Young and tagging Harper who is doing the same.
• The crowd really doesn’t get behind the good guys when they are getting beat up all night. This feels like a crowd that is either very shy or just wanting to see the shit they know and only what they know. The reactions are all spot on when they need to hit their cues (taunts, catchphrases, entrances) During the matches though, they are dead as hell.
• Strowman is still looking unstoppable and hard to figure out. He put Titus in that choke/hug thing. The crowd is way quiet…

And I’m Like.. looks like the Wyatt’s are really making waves in the tag ranks! We’ll see what happens next week when nothing that happened this week matters.

Stardust vs. Neville

• This match happens alot. It’s like they are the only superhero and super villain in the WWE. It’s our generations Mortis vs. Glacier when there was only two Mortal Kombat characters in WCW.
• JBL says Stardust is like Prince cause no one calls Prince by his government name so why should we call Stardust by his given name?
• Even though these two have been fighting on every highway and byway, they are still pretty innovative.
• King Barrett came out!! He legit hit Neville at the exact BOOOM in his song. THAT WAS AMAZING!!! Absolutely amazing!! He hit Stardust with it too!

And I’m Like.. Nothing before the coolest Bull Hammer I’ve ever seen matters. I used to watch wrestling or cartoons to different types of music hoping they would sync up. Barret, Stardust, and Neville did it, and it was sweet.

Arby’s voiceover guy sounds like Big E’s dad.

Kane and his day at HR. I really don’t want to review this or watch it, it won’t really matter. The storyline is Seth and us are the only ones that know that Kane is doing this on purpose. This whole Authority storyline is to get us to side with Seth Rollins slowly, so when he turns face we are all ready. The best faces are the heels that get cheered, he wrestles like a face, he just needs us to want to cheer him. I’m not sure if this will do it, but it might.

Seth Rollins was mad that Kane was found of sound mind so he destroyed Corporate Kane. Chair to the back and leg and everything. By everything I mean Pillmanized . Seth Rollins is a complete dick to Kane, Corporate Kane was extremely nice, did not deserve that, maybe we are supposed to boo Seth. I don’t know.

Kane got put in an ambulance and instantly came out as the demon Kane… yeah….

And I’m Like… This isn’t Halloween 2 and I can’t believe I said I wouldn’t review or watch it, it’s been twenty minutes. Demon Kane was limping but stomped his leg on the ground and his injury went away. This is such a stretch, I haven’t spoken to any little kids lately so I don’t know how they feel about it. Kane is no selling stuff though so Demon Kane is like Demon Finn Balor .

Bo Dallas vs. Randy Orton

• Bo comes out and talks about the hometown crowds team the Buffalo Bills, he brings up that they haven’t won a Super Bowl trophy.. Same with us Vikings in Minnesota.
• This seems like a match that exists to see an RKO.
• Randy is feuding with Bray who is feuding with Dean and Roman, Now Orton is going up against Bo Dallas the little brother of Bray. We know that Randy has a history with a rivals family .
• Orton hit an RKO to win by the way.

And I’m Like… If i was on the Buffalo Bills I would have enjoyed that.. Anyone else just enjoyed the RKO. yep.

And another thing, Donny Deutsch will you stop it!! YOU CONSTANTLY HIT ON a married woman. You are so full of yourself and just a douche. Maybe manage Dolph Ziggler and have a place in this world.

Kevin Owens vs. Rusev

• Ryback is on commentary, he tells us to put a muzzle on Summer Rae and says Owens should go mountain climbing to work on his cardio.
• Rusev and Owens brawl into Ryback. The match is called, Rusev and Owens double team Ryback and The Ryback is in a triple threat feud again. Wait no WWE’s Donny Deutsch comes out to save The Ryback. Yes that means The Ryback is Joe Scarborough.

And I’m Like… You can’t get me to hate on Ziggler and Ryback more than to have then be the reason Rusev and Owens only fought for a few minutes. pssh. Just Keep Dancing.

A preview for Breaking Ground.. Holy Shit, I am not ready for this show. This is like the most emotional. Regal says “This is not a job it’s a lifestyle” Remember that everyone, if you want to get involved in wrestling, know that it is a lifestyle.

Paul Heyman Promo

• Heyman is out to pitch us Saturday night in Madison Square Garden. Heyman is the most best salesperson WWE has ever had.
• Heyman puts over the fact that Big Show is the way he is because he is not inspired or motivated, he can not be pushed to his limits, unless it’s against Brock Lesnar.
• He calls him the “Larger than Larger than life superstars”
• They can’t really sell this match…
• I’m sorry but we know Brock is a Beast and THE BEAST, this is building Brock up for the Hell in the Cell,

And I’m Like… They were told to sell a match that we all know the ending to. This must have been how people felt when Bruno Sammartino would go up against anyone. Bruno was champion for 8 years and then again for 5. How would anyone think Bruno would lose like four years into his first reign? They wouldn’t.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

• Bray said it would be one on one, he came out with the Wyatt Family. Roman called him a “little bitch” and Bray Mr. Mind Games gives in to the insult and sends the Wyatt’s to the back.
• This match is slow and rest holdy. The crowd does not clap to get Roman back into it because they legit do not have a cheer leader. The other matches that were legit matches were the two six person tag matches. They both had people on the outside to hit the turnbuckle or stomp the stairs to give us a cue. They don’t have that luxury in this singles match and the crowd really needs it.
• For real though, where is Sasha and Naomi and Tamina? I am kinda sad that Sasha didn’t even make an appearance.
• Roman was going through his Five Moves of Doom and was getting boo’d.
• There was a near fall and no one went TWOOOO or OOOOHHHH at the kick out, that is bad news.
• Both guys are knocked down. The crowd is dead, what does the ref do? STAND THERE, take notes from NXT ref, COUNT TO TEN when two guys are on the mat… Crowd loves counting and keeps them invested for a small amount of time while guys climb.
• Once the signature moves hit the crowd wakes up.
• I do not like seeing them brawl to the outside and the kids in the crowd just holding their phones and not even reacting or cheering. YOU PAID TO GO THERE LIVE!!! It is on TV!! Why record it on your phone? It doesn’t make sense to me, maybe I a old.
• They get counted out but keep brawling, that means this feud is not over. There was a guy in the crowd yelling “Punch him in the face” which was always my favorite thing drunk guys yelled when I Dj’d for my brother who promoted profession boxing.
• Wyatt crossbodied Reigns threw the barricade. The crowd do a “This Is Awesome” chant. That’s good, the crowd will go home happy. I am at home and semi entertained.
• Wyatt set the stairs up so he could climb onto the announce table. He does a pose to the crowd and Reigns runs up the stairs and spears Wyatt threw a table. We end with the crowd trying to YES!

And I’m Like.. That happened, what was funny is Raw ended with no sound except the crowd noise, then USA cuts right to Friday! “I’m gonna get you high, cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, ain’t got no money, and you ain’t got shit to do.

So its late, I gotta open early tomorrow, and my loving pregnant wife is patiently waiting to go to bed. I’m heading to bed, y’all have a good one.

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/and-im-like-reviewing-raw-september-21st-2015/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2015 01:20:59 +0000 Jake Drury Blogs Other Blogs Reviews Alicia Fox and I'm like anoka Anokasflawless Becky Lynch Big E Big Show Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Cesaro Charlotte Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Dudley Boyz JBL John Cena Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Little Dick Dudley Luke Harper Naomi Nattie New Day Paige Randy Orton Raw 9/20/15 Ric Flair Roman Reigns Rusev Seth Rollins Summer Rae The Authority Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=14327 I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.    Wyatt Family Promo- Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns. He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he […]

I came home from work and took a nap, way, way overslept, so let’s crank this out.

Wyatt Family Promo-

• Bray starts off Raw, he says he warned Roman Reigns.
• He acts like these matches had or have consequence, Bray you’ve never changed any person… The closest you came was Daniel Wyatt and he made a magic moment in a cage at your expense.
• You see fans looking at their phones, and fans that aren’t. The ones without a screen in their face have big smiles, the phone people are super concentrated… For what? a phone video? of a taped program? who will you show that to? why is a video more important than real life?
• Roman says it’s always just been about you and I ‘Send the bigguns back to the swamp and we’ll see you makes it out”
• He doesn’t want a match with Bray he just wants a fight. Bray sends Brawn and Harper to the back, except they don’t go up the ramp. Roman hits Luke and goes to town on Bray
• The Wyatt Family starts to walk to the back but they jump Reigns first while he was beating on Bray
• Ambrose comes out and Strowman fights both men himself.
• I’m not one for brawling, and this is a brawl.. It is just dragging out.
• Roman is getting choked out by Harper and Cole goes “like a big ol’ boa” or a Viper cause Orton comes out
• RKO’s and cheers’ for Orton
• I am indifferent towards this

And I’m Like… Strowman is presented as the guy who won’t fall from his feet. Ambrose, Reigns, and Orton come out on top. I hope there is more to this story other than, new dude joins guys, that are mad that one of them got pushed off a ladder during a ladder match.

We get a video package from Night of Champions where Cena won the United States Championship. Rollins winning the match and keeping the World Title. They did not show Sting’s collapse and injury, but they did show Kane.

Seth Rollins tries to talk to The Authority. Kane is standing there but it’s as Corporate Kane, I believe we are headed in a schizophrenic route.

That Geico Final Countdown commercial makes me miss Daniel Bryan

Cosmic Wasteland vs. Neville and Lucha Dragons

• Neville doing the ‘Lucha’ pose with the Dragons is put in my pocket adorable
• Konnor has a sweet contact in the eye that has paint over it. It’s the little things that add so much sometimes.
• Sin Cara botched baaaad. He slipped off the top rope and hurt himself
• They play it off like that was a planned spot, now that is PROFESSIONAL wrestling
• Next step for Cosmic Wasteland is matching gear.
• We get a commercial break during this match, honestly this would be the match to do it. Not during good matches that we are invested into. Just these random matches you know.
• Stardust is tremendous at his job, he gets Cody chants, which means we don’t forget who he is. He plays this character so well and is creating his own stamp on the industry in such a creative way.
• Kalisto is making the WWE Universe go WWWHHHOOOAAA!! and the commentators are just “….I do not know….what is going on” Kalisto is crazy fast, he hits the Solito del Sol for the win.

And I’m Like… That was a fun match, with a well placed commercial break. Nothing to complain about here! Nothing to really praise either.

Seth runs into the Authority and complains about Kane like this was the Spring of 2015. The Authority gave each other a look last night when Sheamus said he was gonna cash in. Kane then came out and put an end to that. Now Seth is kept champion and kept in line by the Authority. He can’t know that HHH and Stephanie are behind all this and manipulating him like Helicopter Parents or else The Authoritys hard work would have been for nothing.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

• Kevin Owens is on commentary and Bo Bo-Lieves!
• Bo says Ryback isn’t as good as Kevin Owens
• KO says he has always like Bo
• This is Ryback kicking the poop out of Bo while Kevin waxes poetic on the mic.
• It would be fun to build Bo as the guy that comes out and pisses off the giant guys of WWE and get his ass kicked. It will take almost a month of random interruptions until we are conditioned, but it would feel like a Crash Holly superheavyweight deal.
• Bo gets offense in, Kevin Owens says it’s cause he Bolieves
• Meathook clothesline and a Shellshock without ant indication his arm hurts.
• Owens comes in after Ryback wins and beats on the Ryback until Owens bails to fight another day.

And I’m Like… That might have set the theme for the night. It was the third segment in a row, that were just fine, but also moved the story along and had wrestling going on while it did.

We get video packages of Charlotte winning last night, and being awkward with Poppa Flair. A very forced ‘this is emotional’ from Jerry Lawler.

Charlotte Title Celebration

• Ric comes out first.
• He talks about being a proud father…
• He tries to do a promo about how special his life is and stuff and a “Thank You Ric” breaks out, he goes on about peoples lives and what happens.
• He is putting over Charlotte like crazy, the crowd will cheer her until we are told not to.
• Becky and Charlotte come out all smiles, Paige is distancing herself from the group as they walk out, Flair opens the ropes for Charlotte and Paige goes to the other side and walks in.
• Charlotte Wooo’s with her dad and Paige looks annoyed as hell.
• They both look at each other and like cry… They are so emotional, they are like me watching Sasha and Bayley. For real though, Charlotte is super real and gets me veklempt, she says she always wanted to be a wrestler and prove to Ric she is good. She loves him. For real, achieving your dreams is amazing, that’s where it hits me in the emotions. To see someone achieve their dreams in wrestling shakes me so much you guys.
• It looks like Paige is holding emotions in, she is trying to be tough and pulls it off amazingly.
• Paige is the perfect person to boo. She is the most condescending and bitchy. Paige says “There is no revolution Charlotte, you are just a placeholder.” She says to Becky “You are the least relevant in this division” She runs down everyone in the business, she does smarky comments about the Bellas being sluts. She talks about how Team B.A.D. is all flash, points out that Lana and Summer don’t care about the division, says Nattie don’t even work here anymore.
• Nikki comes out and is just the most annoying, she is a stuck up bitch. “One more thing, the queen is not done talking”

And I’m Like… THERE WE GO!! We just got character development and the splintering of groups. We all know that it should be about being the best, and recognized as the best. She spit some truth and threw in some shade that was scandalous. Pitch perfect on that y’all, got some feels out of me too!

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

• Brie is an awkward wrestler, it seems like her heart isn’t into it.
• Brie is working over the leg Nikki beat on last night.
• Charlotte needs to hit Natural Selection to win, her leg is becoming too damaged to hit the figure 8, she will probably win with the submission.
• Brie tries her Yes! kicks on Charlotte’s leg, but the crowd does not respond like they are supposed to. It ended up looking like she was kicking the leg then doing a dancy turn, then back to kicks.
• What’s great about Paige leaving to be her own, and Becky staying by Charlotte’s side, is Becky knows that friends can battle and have great matches. She learned that being one of the Four Horsewomen. Paige has always been on her own, and her closest friend was a ‘frenemy’ in AJ.
• Figure 8 happens and Brie taps… QUIT WORKING ON HER LEG IF SHE WINS WITH LEG BASED SUBMISSIONS

A nd I’m Like… How long is this gonna be Charlotte matches?? See its a revolution cause there is limb work.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

• Sheamus comes out just clutching that briefcase. It adds a bit of insecurity to his character. That makes me sad kind of, he gets YOU LOOK STUPID CHANTS. He is just trying to stand out and not be a Beaker muppet joke. It must be so hard for Sheamus to have confidence.
• Mark Henry comes down and Sheamus has a ‘god damn, whatever’ face going on.
• We know Henry doesn’t win anymore, but we also know Mr. Money in the Bank always loses.
• Sheamus is starting a new character turn I believe.
• How cool is a Diva’s Money in the Bank match gonna be?
• Sheamus went for Brogue and barely hit Mark Henry so we are redoing it!
• Sheamus wins with no crowd reaction.

And I’m Like… What the hell is going on? We don’t have much time between now and Wrestlemania. I don’t see Sheamus being champ at Mania, and I see Roman Reigns beating him. Sheamus might have his confidence back after that win. Which would make this match very very good, just a quick story of doubt in a character.

Kane is talking to The Authority and he doesn’t remember coming out as the Demon last night. See the mask is missing, the mask that The Authority controls Kane with. Kane is a bumbling idiot character and a psychopathic freak. A Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

New Day and Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler and the Dudleys.

• Can I make a ‘Little’ Dick Dudley joke?
• Xavier Woods is the only wrestler selling injury from last night. Remember 10 to 15 years ago, when we would get guys bandaged up and limping?
• I see that to get me to watch the Rusev/Ziggler saga they pit it directly against my love for The New Day.
• Xavier is holding up some wood that the Dudleys put in his butt. The Dudleys must be stopped. Big E says we gotta build a wall around Dudleyville. He is cosplaying as a Republican and making the tables Mexicans and Dudleyville Mexico. Kofi says “Together we can make WWE great again”. If Obama gets boo’d in Texas, do something that makes fun of Trump seems like a viable heel option. Sadly, New Day is smarter than the Texas fans so they did not pick up on this.
• I wish I could watch Rusev and New Day just exist and do them for 15 minutes instead of wrestle these damn’d Dudleys
• Dudleys pyro leaves smoke over the ring reminiscent of WCW. I remember going to a Nitro with My Uncle and he was smoking cigarettes in the arena. His excuse was, look how much smoke they make, like my cigarette is affecting anything.
• JBL keeps saying that New Day is like Bel Biv Devoe… Why? They didn’t fracture from a group (New Edition) they have yet to do a song parody of “Poison”. They are black though, and there are three of them… JBL…
• I would hate to be in the car with Xavier while he is practicing Rusev’s theme song. He played it just perfect for the Raw audience though. New Day are so great though, they know what fans want to see, they know references to get them likable by  pop culture fans. They are nerdy enough to get dweebs to like them. They are hip enough to be ahead of the curve. They are all wrestling fans, so when you see them tagged with Rusev, you see how they all support each other like characters that exist in a universe should.
• Xavier Woods says, you got nothin on Bulgarian New Day.
• The Dudleys tag in and the crowd goes mild. This is a long ass match y’all.
• Xavier blows the trombone in Zigglers face, Ziggler superkicks Xavier, Summer catches the trombone, Rusev hits Ziggler with a superkick and THANK GOD.

And I’m Like… That was so entertainingly boring… It’s so hard to enjoy the good guys for me, but this Bulgarian New Day is something I did not know I needed.

WWE.com did not have pictures for this.

Naomi vs. Nattie

• A year ago we would be stoked to see this cause it was the two athletic wrestlers. Now it’s I don’t know, part of me thinks it will be done in 3 minutes off a distraction roll-up
• Paige is now watching on… I don’t know why, if she is trying to learn how to wrestle against Naomi and Nattie? They have been here so long.
• Naomis does a JTG rope bounce, CRYME TYME never forget.
• Sasha should have Tamina on her team forever, they look like a great HBK and Diesel combo.
• When Nattie runs over the top of a seated opponent, its shocking how something that easy is so innovative.
• Naomi wins cause there is too many girls on the outside, and Nattie has no one to help her. She also has had facial surgery…..

And I’m Like… That was three minutes wasn’t it? Ugh that was like being in a way way back machine.

Big Show vs. Cesaro

• This is a surprising match… Show is gonna win cause he needs to look like a threat to Brock.
• lol a Seven foot, Four hundred pound man has to look like a threat. I’m ridiculous sometimes, wrestling suspends reality too much!
• Cesaro is getting decimated. Tossed and thrown around, Big Show is yelling in Cesaros face.
• Let’s give it up to New Day for teaching the crowd a new chanting cadence. Big ShowSucks was sustained for a little bit. Now we just need them to start getting us to sing and wrestling is gonna be nuts like soccer games.
• Cesaros hitting so many uppercuts he has to get the advantage in the match.
• Cesaro is relentless with his Eurocuts, he found the move that works and is spamming it to hell anyway.
• It’s like in a video game, you find out the sequence of buttons to press to beat the Boss. If you find one that works, you use it til you win.
• Cesaro is trying to Everest Suplex the Big Show. He did it with relative ease, but sold it like he couldn’t. He tried once, and twice, but his back hurt too bad. He looked to the crowd, and on cue they erupted in support. Cesaro hits his feat of strength and then gets hit with a hand of strength by the Big Show.

And I’m Like… We are back to the theme of the night, advance the characters story, have some wrestling. I liked this too, this is a super average episode of Raw, but lacking in drab segments makes it an enjoyable three hours.

We are recapping what happened at the top of the show and brought to the Wyatt room in the back. Harper says to Orton, the voice I hear in my head is Brays. Strowman talks about catching a killing a snake. There is ominous music in the background. I like to imagine before the cameras roll, the Wyatts setting up their fog machine and Halloween noises. Bray being all “This is what scares people, these noises, this fog, creates me THE FACE OF FEAR.. OOOOOHHHH

United States Championship Match

Seth Rollins vs. John Cena (c)

• Ok, know how I said Xavier was the only one selling injury? Seth was limping out.. So give him a nod too!
• Seth jumps Cena during the introductions and the ref backs Rollins off to start the match properly.
• If I was Rollins I would be pissed that I was jammed down the crowds throat this much, feuded with Cena this much and still all you hear is “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” damn. That makes it sound like you are so replaceable, we are just boo’ing you cause your not John Cena…. damn.
• Rollins plays the urgency card, every move he hits or every few moves, Seth goes for a pin.
• Cena is getting beat on for the majority of this match.
• Cena directs the wave that the crowd is doing and JBL says “maybe Byron will drown” WHAT THE HELL JBL???
• Rollins gots the Crossface on Cena, Cena powers out. I think to myself “Self, why would Rollins beat Cena tonight, when he is injured, when at 100% he couldn’t beat Cena?
• Cena rolls threw on a Frog Splash by Rollins and hits the AA
• lol Cena wins

And I’m Like… JBL keeps calling him Big Match John. John Cena sees a kid in a medical match and gives him a wrist band to warm our hearts. Kane is talking to Seth from the titantron. He gets all evil and pulls Seth under the ring… WHAT THE HELL? Rollins couldn’t get away, are we supposed to cheer for Rollins? I don’t get it.. I guess we will see where it goes. There is a funny fan reaction of a lady thinking this is the dumbest thing she ever saw hahaha

That was a good show, I enjoyed it all the way through.. outside of those damn’d Dudleys and little dick too.

HAve A Good one!

-Jake

http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/educated-guess-wwe-elimination-chamber/#comments Wed, 27 May 2015 22:52:11 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Reviews Adrian Neville Bad News Barrett Big E Bo Dallas Cesaro Chamber Darren Young Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler El Torito Elimination Elimination Chamber IC Title John Cena Kane Kevin Owens Kofi Kingston Los Matadores Lucha Dragons Naomi Natayla Nikki Bella NXT Title Paige Primetime Players R-Truth RAW Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Sheamus Smackdown Stephanie McMahon Tag Team Wrestling The Ascension The Authority The New Day Titus O'Neil Triple H Tyson Kidd US Title WWE WWE Intercontinental Championship WWE Network WWE Tag Team Championship WWE World Heavyweight Championship Xavier Woods http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=12019 Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length […]

Wait—wasn't I just here two weeks ago? Yeah, I could have sworn I've already done an "Educated Guess" for the month of May? Oh that's right! The WWE has gifted us with THREE Network Specials [AKA Pay-Per-Views] over the course of a six-week span. This weekend is the Elimination Chamber, which is the first-ever full-length main roster event exclusive to the WWE Network. King of the Ring was only an hour long, and aside from the quarterly NXT specials, we don't get much in the way of LIVE in-ring action that isn't also available through your local cable providers. The �Chamber will go off the air a mere hour before the "Free Month of May" concludes, and will feature the first ever tag team Elimination Chamber match as well as the main roster debut of Kevin Owens. It can be assumed that WWE is planning something to keep the cheapskates hooked through June, but what ever could it be? My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I refuse to make predictions. Instead I collect all the knowledge I can acquire and present you with my monthly—or weekly at this point—"Educated Guess."

Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas
Is there any doubt as to what might be the opening bout on the card? I think not. The only question is whether or not the WWE is going to drop the ball on Adrian Neville, by affording Bo Dallas a victory. I can see both sides of the coin, but choose to argue in favor of "The Man That Gravity Forgot." Adrian lost the King of the Ring tournament in the finals and failed to defeat John Cena for the United States Championship two weeks later on Raw. If Adrian Neville is to become a player on the WWE main roster, he needs to be handled with care until more athletes of his ilk arrive, otherwise he could be just another seat filler, a la Kaval or Evan Bourne.
Educated Guess: Adrian Neville

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Divas Championship
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi vs. Paige
For the first time in many months, I've halfway curious about the WWE Diva's championship. The women down in NXT have done a fine job of stealing the spotlight in recent months, but that's no slight against the current crop of women on the main roster. Nikki Bella has been improving by leaps and bounds as of late, and so has Naomi, who has been a top performer since she was first given the chance to prove herself. Those two WWE Divas will go head-to-head-to-head in a triple threat match with the former NXT Women's Champion Paige. The three-way dance formula is perfect if the idea is to strip Nikki of the title without hurting her credibility on the cusp of a possible NXT invasion. But I don't think it's time for Nikki to lose the title. Say what you will about the Bella's, but they've maintained their grip on the purple butterfly belt since the summer. Why build such an impressive streak if you're going to drop the title to Paige, a former Diva's champion, or Naomi, who quite frankly, isn't in the same league as Paige or the incoming crop of talent. I think it'd be smart to leave the title around Nikki's waist until someone like Charlotte or Sasha Banks is promoted to the main roster. I think Nikki should be the symbolic end of the "Diva Era," and affixing the strap to someone like Naomi would be pointless.
Educated Guess: Nikki Bella

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
I wasn't really sold on an Elimination Chamber event in the smack-dab center of the Spring until this match was announced on Raw two weeks ago. Granted, that might have been the same night the event was announced. It doesn't matter! This is a true dream match that fantasy bookers and wrestling nerds across the world have been discussing since Kevin Owens became a force to be reckoned with in both Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. The way in which Owens' has dealt with the United States champion over the past two weeks has been utterly remarkable, and I really can't wait to see how this match unfolds. Up until now, most of Owens' opponents have been smaller than him, save for NXT announcer Alex Riley. This will be Kevin Owens' greatest challenge since debuting for the WWE, without a doubt. I don't think there will be a winner, and if there is, he'll have his hand raised as a result of a disqualification. I think one of two things will happen; Kevin might lose the will to compete all together. As he's said time and again, he fights for a prize, but the US Title isn't his prize. Kevin Owens might lose interest in fighting John Cena, and could introduce a steel chair to the match, the same as he's done with Sami Zayn. On the other hand, Kevin Owens has quite a few enemies in the WWE. Think about this for a second: in addition to John Cena, Kevin Owens is currently feuding with Sami Zayn, Finn Balor [by proxy of the NXT title], Samoa Joe, and potentially even William Regal. There is no shortage of angry individuals who might interrupt this match, and I for one am hoping to see Samoa Joe.
Educated Guess: No Contest

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The New Day (c) vs. Kidd and Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Prime Time Players vs. The Ascension
It's the first-ever Tag Team Elimination Chamber Match! Well, outside of a video game that is. We wondered how this match would happen and whether we would get three, four, five, or six teams. We got six! Which means four teams will be crammed into those Plexiglas pods, as they wait for their number to be called. I think the inclusion of Los Matadores, the Lucha Dragons, and the Ascension was a mere formality. I expect a few high spots from each team, especially the Lucha Dragons, but when it comes right down to it, this is a three-team program. The Primetime Players are becoming a very interesting part of what's already been a breakout success between the New Day and the "Best Team Ever." I expect this to come down to the two warring teams, and I strongly believe we'll see Kidd and Cesaro walk away as new-two-time tag team champion.
Educated Guess: Kidd and Cesaro

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Rusev vs. R Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett
I have to say—I really don't care. I know it sounds callous; the intercontinental championship is being featured in an Elimination Chamber match, and I should be excited. The WWE is finally treating its longtime number two title with the same respect that NJPW gives its belt by the same name. But when it really comes down to it, I don't care about three of the combatants, and I don't want to see the other three with the intercontinental championship. Dolph Ziggler could retire tomorrow for all I care, I really don't enjoy his work. I'm sure his program with Rusev and Lana will take center stage as far as the "Show Off" is concerned, so as much as I might like to see Rusev with the white IC belt, I'm assuming they'll continue their feud without any kind of gold involved. Then there's King Barrett and Sheamus, whom I enjoy very much, but I don't want them to be Intercontinental Champion! I want Sheamus in the main event, and I think King Barrett's monarchy is the perfect foil to John Cena's US title reign. Then there's the Big Guy—don't care about the Big Guy. I also assume, since we don't see Bray Wyatt anywhere on the card, that we might get a surprise run in from the "Eater of Worlds," which would in turn eliminate Ryback. So who's left? Who haven't I mentioned? Oh yeah! R Truth—whose gimmick is that he's a rapper who's afraid of Spiders. Okay—here's why that's funny to me. About ten years ago there was an underground rapper who made headlines when he smoked PCP and proceeded to "eat his girlfriends breasts off of her body." In addition, he claimed to have seen and felt spiders all over his arms and legs during the experience. So maybe R Truth's gimmick is that he's on PCP.
Educated Guess: Sheamus

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean Ambrose is without a doubt a future WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Without question! I don't think however, that Dean Ambrose is winning his first world title on an impromptu �Network special that was only booked so as to trick dumb cheapskates into signing up passed the "Free Month of May." That being said, I expect this to be the match of the night if Kevin Owens and John Cena fail to deliver. Although they will. And who cares? Cena and Owens are newly-christened enemies who are sure to have a match that ends under precarious circumstances. Dean and Seth have a longstanding rivalry stemming from an ultimate betrayal suffered more than one year ago. I'm sure Seth is going to "cheat to win," as was the mantra of the late great Eddie Guerrero, but that doesn't mean the preceding 20-minutes or so won't be an enjoyable thrill-ride. These guys always deliver, and if you don't agree, then watch some of their previous pay-per-view battles available on the WWE Network. Oh but if you watch Hell in a Cell, turn it off before the ghost shows up. No question who's winning, but I look forward to the journey from beginning to end nonetheless.
Educated Guess: Seth Rollins

Until next time, please LIKE "The B+ Players Podcast" on Facebook , and FOLLOW me on Twitter for all the latest and greatest updates courtesy of Cheap-Heat and Daily Wrestling News!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-2/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-2/#comments Fri, 23 Jan 2015 05:19:29 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews Al Snow Bad News Barrett Bella Twins Big Show BNB Brie Bella Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Erick Rowan HHH J&J Security Jamie Noble Joey Mercury John Cena Kane Lana Luke Harper Michael Cole Miz MizDow Monday Night RAW Naomi Natalya Paige RAW Roman Reigns Rosa Mendes Royal Rumble Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Smackdown Stephanie McMahon The Authority Total Divas Triple H Wade Barrett WWE X-Pac http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=9156 What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown Written by Mark Adam Haggerty We are a mere three days away from the 28th annual Royal Rumble event in Philadelphia, and this week's episode of Smackdown had its share of important moments including four qualifying contests for the �Rumble match itself. Ladies and gentlemen […]

What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter
Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

We are a mere three days away from the 28th annual Royal Rumble event in Philadelphia, and this week's episode of Smackdown had its share of important moments including four qualifying contests for the �Rumble match itself. Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to Cheap-Heat for this week's installment of "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter." My name is Mark Adam Haggerty on hand as always to tell you what was worth wasting space in the DVR, and what you can delete without thinking twice. This week's episode of Thursday Night Smackdown was the second since WWE's B-show made its return to the original night on which it debuted in 1999. Monday Night Raw did a fine job of setting up the storyline going into the triple threat match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but little was done to build the 30-man battle royal that will decide the number one contender at Wrestlemania. I was happy that the WWE instead used Smackdown as a platform to advertise the �Rumble, which they did throughout the entire night. Let me stop with the longwinded introduction and allow the Superstars to speak for themselves.

Smackdown begins the same way it did last week with the arrival of the former WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan. Bryan is once again dressed to compete although his confrontation with Kane will have to wait until later in the evening. Bryan lists an assortment of hot-button issues relating to his rivalry with the Authority, saying that he could talk about any one of them, but instead he chooses to introduce the three men John Cena saved on Monday Night Raw—Ryback, Erick Rowan, and Dolph Ziggler. All three men make their respective entrances, and all three give equally impassioned promos regarding their two weeks away from the WWE Universe. First up Ryback reiterates his tale of growing up a WWE fan, and leads the crowd in chanting "Feed me more." Chuckling, Ryback makes mention that "everybody loves the �Big Guy,'" and hands the microphone to Erick Rowan. Rowan's never been known for his command of the English language, but proceeded to execute a fine display of "wordsmanship," capped off by speaking seductively to his very own sheep mask. Might we get a bit more Al Snow out of Erick Rowan than anyone ever anticipated? Finally Dolph Ziggler has his chance to address the audience and per usual steals the show. Daniel Bryan asked what Ziggler was up to recently, allowing the Show Off to respond, "Oh you know me, ate some stuffed crust pizza, watched the Triple H and Stephanie fitness DVDs." Dolph told Bryan that he'd much rather accept whatever the Authority had to dish out, than sit at home on his couch complaining on a podcast. The party would soon come to an end at the hands of the Authority; Kane's music hit and the Big Red Machine was escorted onto the stage by Seth Rollins, J&J Security and his former championship tag team partner the Big Show. Seth begins and exchanges words with Dolph Ziggler, further illustrating the money to be made from pitting these two tenacious young talents against one another. Kane and the Big Show were next, belittling the Show Off and informing him that he would now be forced to start from the bottom, beginning with a Royal Rumble qualifying match against the man who stripped him of the intercontinental title less than one month ago. And that match is up first.

About twenty minutes into the show and the first match is already underway between the dynamic Dolph Ziggler and the unpredictable IC champion Bad News Barrett. Bad News would maintain the upper hand for the first half of the battle, laying into the former world champion with a series of brute shots, presumably in an attempt to weaken Ziggler for the "Bull Hammer." Dolph finally achieved some measure of comeuppance when he managed to turn a drop kick into a series of corner attacks, but was once again reversed out of an Irish whip putting Barrett in charge once more. A close encounter with the corner post leads Dolph to favor his right arm, which makes for the perfect target in Bad News Barrett's assault. All hope seemed lost for Dolph and his chances in the Royal Rumble, until Barrett's Bull Hammer missed, giving Ziggler a split second to perform another drop kick and hit the champion with the Zig-Zag for the victory. If there wasn't a years-worth of hype regarding Roman Reigns winning the �Rumble, I'd have Dolph Ziggler on my short list of potential victors. But unfortunately the decision has been made, and although Bryan might still be an option, the most we can hope for out of Ziggler is a star performance. Backstage, Reigns is speaking with Renee Young about the volatile situation between both he and the Big Show. He tells Renee that Big Show is a little man trapped in a Giant's body, unlike Andre the Giant who didn't need to remind anyone how big he was. I'm not sure how a promo about Andre the Giant helps put Roman over just three days away from what could be the biggest moment of his career. I was afraid the entire segment was going to go back up the beanstalk as soon as he started talking about giants, but luckily he steered clear of the nursery rhymes.

The next qualifying match features Ryback once again emerging from the locker room to a raucous reception, as he prepares to go toe to toe with the undefeated Rusev. This match is far less technical than the earlier battle between Barrett and Ziggler, but was still more entertaining than the usual strong-man-match the WWE is notorious for booking. Before the match can begin, we head backstage to where Fandango of all people is picking his number for the Royal Rumble. Once drawing what seemed to be good news, Fandango proceeded to get exceptionally �handsy' with Rosa Mendez, allowing the Lunatic Fringe Dean Ambrose to steal his thunder. Back in the ring, the match is underway and both individuals have plenty to lose should they allow their shoulders to lay flat for a three count. Not only is Ryback's spot in the �Rumble up for grabs, but Rusev's highly-praised winning streak is on the line every time he steps into the squared circle. Rusev is an incredible young talent who has an uncanny ability to stay in character no matter what the context of the contest, even yelling at Ryback in his native tongue throughout—whether that be Bulgarian or Russian is a matter for a linguistics expert. Ryback's fortitude helped him win the advantage by power slamming Rusev almost through the canvas. The fight would flood out onto the floor, where the referee's count reached higher and higher. Michael Cole shouted from ringside, warning Ryback that the count was edging closer to ten. Like something out of a video game, Ryback left Rusev in the entry way just as the official counted to nine, making it safe inside the ring by ten.

Brie Bella is set to compete with Naomi, as Paige and Natalya call the action from ringside. This match is much less about the contest between Brie and Naomi and more about the upcoming tag team match between the Bellas and Paige & Natalya. During the first moments of the match, we're given a peak at some prerecorded comments by the Bellas, who make fun of everything from Natalya's husband, to her cats, to Paige's unusually pale complexion. Paige responds by referring to herself as a "Glampire," further informing the commentators at ringside that she and Natalya aren't friends, so much as they have a common hatred for the Bella Twins. This match was a complete afterthought to building the Total Diva's storyline and the upcoming tag team match at the Royal Rumble. This was undoubtedly the low-point of a night otherwise filled with quality content. Backstage Luke Harper predicts his own fortune coming out of the Royal Rumble, "You can send anyone you want. But don't send anyone you want back ." An absolutely terrifying promo with creepy shadow effects giving way to utter darkness. Harper is getting set to square off against Erick Rowan in Rowan's Royal Rumble qualifying match. Although interesting and talented in his own regard, Erick Rowan can't compete with the agility and expertise of Luke Harper. At nearly seven feet tall, the former Brodie Lee can fly around the ring like any luchador while still crippling his opponents with a number of high intensity offensive moves. The match is good for what it is—a battle of giants. Rowan keeps in step with the more seasoned superstar, but it's only a matter of time before Erick Roman is cast out of the Royal Rumble match, at the hands of his former friend Luke Harper. Backstage once again Kane is stressing the importance of his match against Daniel Bryan, and insists on using "Seth's security." Do J&J work for Seth or the Authority? Because I have no trouble buying Noble and Mercury as employees of the WWE. I have a harder time imagining they're privately contracted by Seth Rollins. Before heading into the main event, we see Damian Mizdow backstage alongside his greatest inspiration The Miz. Mizdow apologizes for impersonating X-Pac on Monday, but thinks perhaps the crowd kind of liked it. The Miz laughs, telling Mizdow that nobody cheers for him and if it appears that they are, they're just applauding the Miz through him. Once on the way to his trailer, The Usos roll up on Mizdow and proceed to explain the finer points of the Royal Rumble and being, "every man for himself."

The main event is finally at hand to decide whether or not Daniel Bryan will be in the 2015 Royal Rumble this weekend in Philadelphia. Michael Cole describes Kane as, "One of the greatest performers in Rumble history." Uh—they why didn't he ever win the thing? Flawed reasoning; total number of eliminations means nothing when you've been competing in the match for fifteen years. This no holds barred match is off to a violent start as Kane goes to work attempting to put Daniel Bryan on the injured list once again. Kane searches under the ring for an implement of destruction and returns with a kendo stick in hand, ready to decimate Daniel Bryan. He lands a few stiff shots, but the tables are soon turned and Daniel Bryan works Kane to his knees and then alternates between vicious kicks and heinous Kendo stick shots. J&J make their presence known throughout the match however, saving Kane from defeat every time Bryan has victory within his sights. Just then we're interrupted by a commercial, which I can understand on a live show such as Raw, but this is a taped program! And what's worse, they're WWE commercials! Why are you interrupting the main event on your second biggest show to advertise the WWE Network? Back from the break and Jerry Lawler tells us what we missed, action that we can surely catch if we download the WWE app. Well, that's not exactly true King. I live in Southern California and watch TV three hours earlier than I did back in New Jersey. Raw and Smackdown air at 5 in the afternoon, and when I try to use the app, I get a message saying that the second screen isn't available in my market. It's not the same as being without the �Network for a year, but I'm starting to understand how the UK and Irish fans felt when the WWE was pushing something they physically couldn't use. The match continues around the ring where Kane struggles to mount an offensive, and is eventually caught in the "Yes Lock" in the center of the ring. Once again Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble make the save and become more entrenched in the matchup than ever before. Daniel thwarts their assault on his own, only to be sent back into the clutches of Kane once more. A series of reversals however and Daniel Bryan hits the "Devil's Favorite Demon" with an intense running knee. By this point, no former cruiserweight or tag team champion could stop Daniel Bryan from getting the pin and earning his chance at winning the Royal Rumble. As the match concluded and Bryan wandered backward up the ramp, the Big Show bashed Bryan from behind and returned him to the ring where the Authority set to stomping him down. Soon Rowan, Ryback and Ziggler appeared to help, followed by more bad guys, and more good guys—heels, faces, tecnicos, rudos, exoticos! Everybody was in the ring! Then the music hit, the theme signifying the arrival of the Lunatic Fringe. Dean Ambrose hit the ring, followed by the equally impressive entrance of Roman Reigns. Smackdown went off the air as the entire roster laid waste to one another in anticipation for this Sunday's Royal Rumble.

At the end of the night, only Erick Rowan was ousted from the 30-man over-the-top rope Royal Rumble match—sad yes, but it leaves the potential for a more qualified contender. Although logic might convince us Daniel Bryan or Roman Reigns might walk away from Philadelphia, ready to walk into Santa Clara in the main event, that doesn't mean the action from bell-to-bell is any less interesting and therefore I'm very excited for this weekend's pay-per-view. Thank you for your continuous readership, and I look forward to seeing you again next week with another edition of, "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter."

http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown/#comments Sat, 17 Jan 2015 04:53:28 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Alicia Fox Bad News Barrett Big Show BNB Bray Wyatt Brie Bella Brock Lesnar Damien Sandow Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose HHH Hunico J&J Security Jamie Noble Jey Uso Jimmy Uso Joey Mercury John Cena Kane Matt Jackson Michael Cole Miz MizDow Money in the Bank Naomi Natalya Nick Jackson Nidia Nikki Bella Paige Paul Heyman RAW reDRagon Rikishi Roman Reigns Royal Rumble Seth Rollins Sin Cara Smackdown Sting Survivor Series SyFy The Ascension The Authority The Game The Undertaker The Usos Total Divas Triple H Usos Wade Barrett Wrestlemania WWE Young Bucks http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8930 What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown Written by Mark Adam Haggerty Yes! Yes! Yes! Daniel Bryan is back in the WWE, Smackdown is back on Thursday and ladies and gentlemen I am back with another rousing installment of "What's Cookin' & What Doesn't Matter," the once-weekly breakdown of the second longest-running […]

What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter
Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

Yes! Yes! Yes! Daniel Bryan is back in the WWE, Smackdown is back on Thursday and ladies and gentlemen I am back with another rousing installment of "What's Cookin' & What Doesn't Matter," the once-weekly breakdown of the second longest-running TV series in WWE history. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm here every week to review Friday—no, THURSDAY Night Smackdown. Despite the allure of such a landmark event, the broadcast was wrought with the same predictable booking we've come accustom to on Raw, except taped two days in advance. It wasn't all bad however, and I dare say this could be the start of something special for what's been designated the B-Show for far too long. Why do I think that? Let's talk about tonight's episode.

The show opened up with Daniel Bryan and although I haven't been a fan of the Washington-native since he ditched his independent evil-streak for the smiling "Goat" gimmick, I can't deny my excitement as one of the best in-ring performers in the world is finally getting back to work. Bryan goes on to echo the same sentiments saying how happy he is to be wearing wrestling gear instead of jeans and a flannel. I was actually looking forward to this match because the sooner it started, the sooner Kane would be in D-Bryan's rear-view—or so I assumed. Instead of the cryptic organs signifying the arrival of the "Big Red Machine," we hear Triple H's music and out comes The Game along with the Demon and the rest of The Authority. The match began without further discussion and lived up to everyone's rather low expectations. Bryan was well within view of the finish line when J&J Security stormed the squared circle, causing the match to be thrown out. It's getting almost silly the way nothing has a definitive end, but what's worse is the probability in what would follow; Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose entered the arena and stood tall alongside Bryan, leading Triple H to book a six-man tag team match later in the evening. I've always love tag team wrestling and multiple-man matches, but if I never see another six-man in the WWE it'll be too soon. Triple H just said they'd be battling The Authority without specifying the competitors, until Michael Cole informed us the match would involve Big Show, Kane, and Seth Rollins. Now—obviously it was going to be those three because we weren't going to see Hunter step into action on Smackdown. And odds are it wasn't going to be J&J Security. But in the Kayfabe world of professional wrestling, how did Michael Cole know while Triple H was still standing in the ring? I enjoyed the majority of everything before and after the match however, and I'd be willing to call this segment COOKIN' and worth a watch.

What the hell is Bray Wyatt talking about and why isn't he in the arena? I've said for some time that Creative should employ better use of the backstage segments on Smackdown because they can be shot separate from the live show and would thus remain spoiler-free. Maybe that's why parking lot brawls and super market matches have become such a popular staple of the near-sixteen year old series. That being said I don't think the audience at home or in the arena can ever get the full effect from the "Eater of Worlds" when he's speaking into a camera lens. Whenever anyone asks me how I feel about Bray Wyatt, I'm inclined to preface my argument with, "He started really strong and had a very compelling character, but…" It's not that I don't find him enjoyable, but as a solo Superstar he lacks the "Manson Family-vibe" that made him truly frightening. He's also had an incredibly dull run of recent rivalries since his program with John Cena last year at Wrestlemania. There was a rumor floating around a few months back regarding The Ascension potentially joining with Bray Wyatt, and although those plans appear to have been scrapped, I still think there's a story to be told by combing those three individuals—perhaps to take on The Undertaker at Wrestlemania? The new word has been Bray might in fact face the now 21-and-1 Phenom of the WWE, and while I imagine not many fans are clamoring for that contest when Steve Borden is on the payroll, I argue Sting's talents are better utilized elsewhere. How might Bray build himself as a threat against the Deadman when his character has been stuck in limbo since Spring of 2014? I think The Ascension might work well to even the odds against the all-powerful Undertaker. As far as this promo, it was boring and without purpose. Definitely didn't matter and not worth your time.

The WWE Tag Team Champions are set to take on The Miz and Mizdow once again but this time they're joined by Naomi and Alicia Fox on opposing sides in a mixed tag competition. When Naomi was introduced, I could have sworn Michael Cole referred to her as, The Uso's wife." I loved this match and I think it's safe to say The Usos and The Miz and Mizdow once again stole the show. The ongoing relationship between Mike Mizanin and his stunt-double Damian Sandow is continuing to enchant the live audience as well as the fans sitting at home tuning in on Syfy. If you'll recall what I wrote just a few months back, I thought this storyline had run its course by the time Survivor Series concluded, but something about both Superstars continues to compel and even endears me—to the Miz of all people! I feel as though the farther things go, the more Miz begins to consider Damian more a friend than an employee. During this match The Miz handed Damian a tag per the audience request which was almost unheard of one month ago. This time rather than the Miz blind-tagging back, Alicia Fox was the one to take advantage and proceeded to take Mizdow's opportunity to enter the match. I think the Usos are highly underrated as a team which has to do with their lack of competition on the WWE main roster. If Jimmy and Jey were given the chance to mix it up with reDragon or The Young Bucks, they'd likely lose but they'd put on a hell of a show in the process. Super SUPER SUPERKICK PARTY!! I think they're by far the most agile members of their bloodline; they're the Samoan sons of Rikishi who now nearly thirty are already showing signs of gaining weight. Yet despite having to start wrestle with t-shirts, Jimmy and Jey continue to expand their in ring repertoire and have begun to incorporate even more death-defying aerial maneuvers. Now, I would recommend they hold back on the litany of suicide dives they hit during almost every match, in the interest of saving big moves for special occasions. I think in the deepening depths of the tag team scene, there are no two stronger teams than those in this six-person intergender match. Michael Cole impressed me all night, but none more so than when he explained why Alicia Fox and Naomi were feuding—it's a Total Diva's thing. Cole has been accused of no-selling the matches and giving little context to the contests, but that little piece of information made me start to care about the drama between these two Divas. A fast paced match, but not given the time I was hoping for. Definitely worth checking out which means it was COOKIN!

Paul Heyman gave his mandatory monologue to keep the audience from forgetting the WWE Champion, but also so that Seth Rollins would have a formidable sparring partner to practice his verbal swordsmanship. I gave their repartee a rather charitable grade and the number two spot on my "Highlight of the Night" Raw review—but that's all I needed. I didn't need more of the same slow deliberate droning. I didn't need more of the same sardonic methodical musings. I didn't need more of the same sentences said exactly the same way to incite a reaction. I think Paul Heyman could be one of the greatest promos of all time but not when I heard the same thing three days earlier with greater passion and more moving pieces. Rather than listening to Seth threaten to "Curb Stomp" Paul, I was instead enamored with Jamie Noble and why he kept touching his earpiece. It's like that opening scene in "Casino Royale" where James Bond yells at the rookie agent for touching his ear when talking to 007. So of course my mind wanders and I begin to fantasize about this elaborate storyline wherein Jamie and Joey are "the secret service" to Mr. Money in the Bank, and Jamie ends up taking a bullet for Seth. And then Jamie's in a hospital bed with his blind wife Nidia by his side—and you know they don't have any of that lottery money left! So without health insurance Jamie Noble is on his death bed and tells Seth, "You have to win the title at The Royal Rumble—for me!" And then he dies, so of course Seth goes to the �Rumble and beats Brock and Cena for the belt. Meanwhile a hidden camera shows The Authority conversing with a perfectly healthy James "Jamie Noble" Gibson who faked the injury and his subsequent death. When approached about the conspiracy Triple H says, "Seth needed a fire lit under his ass. It's what was best for business." Now a conflicted world champion, Seth Rollins goes babyface and battles The Authority for the rest of 2015. I'm not sure if that's what Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins were talking about or not—probably not. Probably just my own weird fantasy booking ideas to keep me entertained as Smackdown regurgitates the cliff-notes from Raw. All jokes aside there were an array of entertaining enough of verbal jabs to-and-from both men, serving as tonight's only real fuel to the main event fire at The Royal Rumble. So I suppose it was COOKIN' and therefore worth your consideration.

Another solid match this evening was the one-on-one bout between Natalya and Nikki Bella, a non-title match featuring plenty of outside influence and a picture perfect sharpshooter to finish things in Nattie's favor. Not much else to talk about other than Brie's attempted interference which in turn could have cost her sister the victory when Neidhart was able to capitalize and lock in the move made popular by her famous uncle. I'm not sure whether this match was booked as a result of the ongoing program involving Paige, but like the dichotomy between Divas Naomi and Alicia, this relationship between Nattie and Paige seems to stem from Total Divas. Although I'm not sure if it directly relates to the Bella Twins or not. It's all very confusing how some of the Total Divas' storylines from the current season filmed several months ago coincides with the in-ring action we see on Smackdown. Natalya seems to be the workhorse Diva used to make less capable talents appear stronger. This match may have been about making the champion appear weak before a new challenger makes herself known—maybe Natalya herself will challenge for the title after her victory tonight, just as Sin Cara did following his win over the Intercontinental Champion last week. But the challenge will more likely come from Paige. An enjoyable one-on-one contest that I haphazardly recommend should you happen to hit the play button while fast-forwarding cause I dare say it was COOKIN'.

Speaking of Sin Cara it's his time to shine as he's challenging Bad News Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship. The very first thing I noticed about Sin Cara was the conspicuous lack of an NXT tag title belt around his waist. I assumed the WWE was just keen on keeping the developmental championships separate from the main story, but then I read the NXT results from Full Sail University and figured Sin Cara was without his title because— Spoiler: He already lost it. For more on that, make sure to read Cheap-Heat's bevy of in-depth spoilers and breaking news. This match was pretty rough to sit through because unlike some of my Cheap-Heat colleagues, I like Sin Cara 2.0 or whatever you want to call him that designates Hunico from Mistico. I think he's a fine entertainer who has more positive qualities than he does negative drawbacks, and his match last week was proof he can compete with any athlete regardless of size or stature. I also like Bad News Barrett, but this week fell short as Barrett squashed Sin Cara with little offense in between. I think Hunico would be a nice addition to the rapidly expanding roster of Lucha Underground talent, with or without a mask. As for his time with the WWE, Sin Cara is a main roster curtain-jerker who was lucky to get paired with Kallisto in NXT. I don't think the future is bright for the young Superstar despite his abilities, but only time will tell. Perhaps I'm wrong and 2015 is the Year of Sin Cara.

The Main Event is upon us and as the broadcast booth had to let us know, the six way altercation between heroes and villains will pit Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, and Dean Ambrose against The Authority's Seth Rollins, Big Show, and Kane. One of the first things I want to point out as the combatants get set to wage war and J&J Security stands cautiously at ringside, is the presence of THREE former Ring of Honor World Champions. Tyler Black, Bryan Danielson, and James Gibson—with El Generico, Kevin Steen, Prince Devitt, and KENTA down in developmental, I don't want to hear how the WWE doesn't push outside talent. I think I've always maintained a pretty negative disposition relating to Kane, but the Big Show is a more confusing character who doesn't irk me nearly as much as "The Devil's Favorite Demon." Big Show gave a stirring backstage interview earlier in the evening with Renee Young denigrating the competition and predicting his domination in the Royal Rumble match. Although we've heard that every January for the past fifteen years, Paul Wight has never lost his ability to sell himself when he's attached to a money match. Even when it's an annual tradition that he never wins. Kane on the other hand appears less Demonic these days, and more like a guy named Glen Jacobs who's tired of playing a cartoon character when he's surrounded by real people. I'm sure when he was pitched the idea back in '97 he figured it'd be another short term gig like Isaac Yankem or The Christmas Creature. Who know he'd still be playing a supernatural fire-monster fifteen years into the new millennium.

Let's talk about this match, although there's not much to discuss because anyone who's seen one six-man tag match in the WWE has seen them all. I'll give you the bullet points: Dean Ambrose goes crazy; Seth Rollins is a weasel; Big Show and Kane catch good guys with choke slams; Roman Reigns is punching folk and making people "BELEE-DAT!" Too many people are too kind to the cousin of Dwayne Johnson but newsflash: Roman Reigns is a terrible wrestler who is never going to be as good as I need him to be. I know that the WWE isn't marketing him to wrestling fans like me, but to kids into comic books so I've already accepted his inevitable place in WWE history. But he's unbearable to watch, and his promos are something out of my worst nightmares. Seriously, when most people are suffering from real-life problems I'm instead transfixed on how over-the-moon outrageously awful Roman "Beanstalk" Reigns is. And don't tell me it's the booking and he'd be better as a powerhouse heel, because that implies the push is inevitably due down the line. Listen—John Cena might not be Ricky Steamboat, but he has more ability than people give him credit. He was light years ahead of Roman Reigns by this point in his career and I shudder to think of the day when John Cena has to abandon his post so that this joker may take command. There was a sunny patch in this otherwise "Reigny" main event, and that was the momentous return of Daniel Bryan after his forgettable confrontation with Kane earlier in the night. Having so many opponents of varying sizes gave the former American Dragon room to explore the full scope of his recovery, by implementing a host of signature maneuvers guaranteed to make an impact on both his opponents and the live audience. The action was of course nonstop throughout from start to finish, with so many visible characters in motion. But the sequence of events was predictable, and per the usual order of closing a taped show nothing of substance came from the final moments of Thursday Night Smackdown. A miss-able moment but the main event segment and a good 20-minute match regardless of my personal opinion. I suppose if this was the first match you've ever seen, or even seen in a few years, you might walk away having enjoyed yourself. But for those of us that stick it out each and every week it was more of the same thing. Following Daniel Bryan's stunning victory, Triple H reemerged to quash the celebration by announcing Daniel Bryan versus Kane—again, next week on Smackdown. It was a COOKIN' match for two reasons: 1) it was the main event and featured Daniel Bryan; 2) it was the only match on Smackdown featuring any of the three competitors in the WWE World Heavyweight Championship main event at the Royal Rumble.

WWE programming heading toward the Royal Rumble is starting to feel akin to the way I use to procrastinate weeks before big tests. I would have plenty of time to study, but would focus on nonsense allowing only a few mere moments to cram whatever it was I was supposed to know into my brain. The WWE has been given weeks, nay—MONTHS! Months to get things right and build provocative characters and compelling storylines and have instead cautiously waiting and gauging crowd response to Roman Reigns. The WWE needs to start developing new stars on both sides, heel and face if they hope to have anything worth watching in a matter of years. John Cena won't be around forever; what will the WWE do when Kofi Kingston is the senior-most member of the roster? Will they push him then ? Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining me again, I hope you found the incessant inconsistencies flowing from my head interesting or at the very least insightful. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'll see you next time, right here at Cheap-Heat!

http://www.cheap-heat.com/the-highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/the-highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw/#comments Thu, 15 Jan 2015 04:13:24 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Other Reviews Reviews Antonio Cesaro Brock Lesnar Cesaro Daniel Bryan Dean Ambrose Hall of Fame HHH HOF Hulk Hogan John Cena Kane Macho Man Monday Night RAW Randy Savage RAW Seth Rollins Stephanie McMahon The Authority Triple H WCW World Championship Wrestling WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8856 The Highlight of the Night The Top Moments from Raw Written by Mark Adam Haggerty The WWE's flagship broadcast is back with a somewhat preferable program to what we were force-fed last week, although the show is still plagued by many of the same problems that have made recent episodes of Monday Night Raw intolerable. […]

The Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

The WWE's flagship broadcast is back with a somewhat preferable program to what we were force-fed last week, although the show is still plagued by many of the same problems that have made recent episodes of Monday Night Raw intolerable. The first thing anyone tuning in might notice is the electricity flowing through the crowd in New Orleans who are just as happy to see John Cena as they are to chant, "John Cena sucks!" Initially ecstatic to host the WWE product for the first time since Wrestlemania 30, the fans of New Orleans seemed to lose their passion rather early as even April of last year made more sense than January of 2015. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to another exciting edition of The Highlight of the Night; my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I'm here every single week to present you with the Top Five Moments from the WWE's longest running series. Last week I found myself scaling and repelling along the Monday Night Raw card looking for anything that might pass as entertaining. This week wasn't as difficult, but still presented its own set of challenges—did Roman Reigns really cut a promo about a beanstalk? When you don't have time to watch a three hour television show, I'm here to let you know what Top Five Moments were worth checking out.

5. Good Old WWE Personality Tests…
Whenever the WWE has a breakout talent, the first thing Creative likes to do is script a psychiatric session between said Superstar and a fake therapist. Although I didn't find much humor in the series of skits featuring Dean and the doctor, it did manage to keep the Lunatic Fringe in the forefront of the WWE Universe's mind until his impromptu battle with Rusev. I liked the segment depicting Dean associating words with photos, especially the nod to Kane's former persona, "Isaac Yankem DDS." I like Dean Ambrose and hope he has a prosperous career, but I cringe when he attempts the comedy as it suffers greatly from overwritten dialogue and incredibly poor timing. He is not John Cena, he is not the Rock, and I'm sorry to say INTERNET—he is not "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. The finale of the skits was somewhat predictable; the roles were reversed and Dean Ambrose was now playing therapist to his doctor. What wasn't predictable however was the match with the United States champion later in the evening. While the match was decent enough, it rested heavily on Rusev's performance, leaving much to be desired as far as the Lunatic Fringe and his in-ring capabilities. I question the judgment of any keyboard warrior that may bash John Cena, all the while touting the skillset of Dean Ambrose. It's going to be a dark day when reality hits and the WWE Universe realizes Dean Ambrose is a "five-move wrestler." I don't understand the logic in booking Ambrose in such a negative way this evening when it would have seemed simple enough to keep him backstage doing the therapy gimmick. Instead he incites the ire of Rusev for no reason other than to play babyface, only for the match to end due to Ambrose's knee injury. I don't really know what the process behind promoting Ambrose is, but so far 2015 is turning out to be much the same as 2014—a year in which Dean Ambrose earn zero singles' wins on pay-per-view.

4. Daniel Bryan's Back in New Orleans
Daniel Bryan's return to television is unquestionably the most provocative element of the current storyline. Sure the main event title picture is fuzzy and fun to predict, but far more members of the WWE Universe have invested themselves in Daniel Bryan than they have in anyone else—even John Cena. After an astronomical rise in popularity, Daniel was sidelined and many of his fans were left waiting and wondering if they'd ever see their favorite Superstar again. I really like the ongoing dichotomy between Daniel Bryan and Stephanie McMahon, and I hope it's something we continue to see evolve over the next few years. Nobody ever complained about how often Vince McMahon mixed it up with Steve Austin; I think this could be a defining rivalry in the development of Stephanie McMahon as a formidable antagonist in the WWE Universe. It would seem that quite a few folks are disappointed with the decision to reignite the feud between Kane and Daniel Bryan, but I'm actually in favor of seeing the former WWE World Champion get his further comeuppance against "The Big Red Machine." Obviously Bryan Danielson's neck injury was the result of more than a decade's worth of wrestling a very stiff style—but DANIEL BRYAN's injury came at the hands of "The Devil's Favorite Demon." Speaking strictly Kayfabe, how could Bryan return to action without first getting his revenge against the man who almost ended his career? The WWE was most certainly going to pit these two against one another, so I say what better time than on Smackdown? Let's get it out of the way so we aren't faced with a wasted pay-per-view match the way we were following Wrestlemania 30. I was surprised at the tenacity with which both Bryan and Kane attacked each other on Raw, especially considering nobody seems sure how safe it is for Bryan to return to the ring. If their street fight is any indication of what to expect, then I look forward to their clash this Thursday and cautiously anticipate exciting things for Daniel Bryan as we speed toward Wrestlemania 31 here in California.

3. The Lumberjack Match
The WWE is notorious for distancing itself from the term "professional wrestling," instead choosing the far more nauseating moniker of "sports entertainment." For a company that wants to separate their product from the other �rasslin' shows on TV, implementing a Lumberjack match seems right in line with a Scaffold Match, or a Hair vs. Hair—oh wait, they do that all the time. My point is that Vince McMahon cannot have it both ways, and that is why after thirty years of attempting to coin a phrase, the majority of fans still refer to their favorite pastime as "professional wrestling." The lumberjack match has always been one of my favorite match-types because it gives the audience a unique look into the semi-casual side of their favorite superstars. It's always interesting to see how Bad News Barrett interacts with Rusev or how Justin Gabriel, "takes lumberjack matches very seriously," as he posted on Twitter. The Lumberjack stipulation may very well offer moments of team work, but can more appropriately spell dissent as the contest this evening featured the most heinous heels in the WWE locker room. I had to assume that John Cena would fail to defeat Seth Rollins, because as backwards as the booking seems to be, I couldn't very well predict three men getting fired one night, and getting rehired at the beginning of the very next show—that's stupid. I thought John Cena was really impressive in this match, which is sort of a strange sentence to type. Not that I don't find Cena impressive on a regular basis, but he's the type of wrestler I don't feel the need to highlight. He's been coming off the top rope for years it seems, but recently John Cena has been upgrading his high-risk offense game to include splashes and dives to the outside of the ring. Say what you will about the 15-time title holder, no champion in history has ever worked as hard as Cena to improve every facet of their arsenal. While I agree he has far fewer maneuvers on hand than Daniel Bryan or Antonio Cesaro, John Cena is constantly adding to his repertoire so as to meet the demand of every new challenge he faces. Seth Rollins is proving far more versatile than I think anyone might have ever guessed. While proving his capabilities in brawling with Dean Ambrose, he is able to take it to the air when soaring with Dolph Ziggler, yet still makes for an arduous opponent across from the most decorate champion in the company. I thought this match was really great despite all of the clichéd complaints there are to be made about a WWE match. The way the first promo by John Cena transitioned into the match kept the beginning of the show moving at a steady pace that would come to a crashing halt as soon as the next segment began. A highly entertaining opener that unfortunately did nothing to foreshadow the in-ring action to come.

2. "I wasn't done yet!"
For the past several weeks, the final segment of Monday Night Raw has been awarded the top spot by default. This week I've allowed for nostalgia to take over, so while the exciting conclusion may not have been number one, it was definitely worth watching. Contract signings are generally very predictable and I suppose this was as well to a degree. In the center of the ring stood a table cloaked in a black cloth which made me say, "What are the odds that table doesn't get broken? Slim to none." Of course I was correct, but the beauty in this segment wasn't in broken shards of wood, but in the words exchanged between Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins. After quite some time of hearing Heyman speak for Lesnar, I'm finally hip to the way in which Mr. Dangerously arranges his thoughts. But that doesn't mean I'm any less eager to hear them aloud via the voracious vocals of Paul Heyman. Quite often Paul is mismatched with someone that can't quite compete in his arena of verbal jibes, but this week he is surrounded by Triple H, John Cena, and Stephanie McMahon—three personalities known for their talent on the microphone. However, it was Seth Rollins who made for Paul's greatest adversary, once again leading me to wonder how many of Rollins' promos are scripted and what's coming from the brain of Colby Lopez. Cena seemed purposefully detached during this segment, opting to keep his cool rather than rely on the same jokes he's been making since 2005. Brock Lesnar surprised quite a few people including myself when he took control of the mic and referred to Rollins as, "Mr. Curb-Stomp," proceeding to tell Seth how he'd beaten Triple H, The Undertaker, and John Cena. He wasn't going to lose to Seth Rollins. By the time the confrontation escalated beyond signing any contracts, the players were in motion and rather than watching the dominant Lesnar reign supreme, Rollins made his mark on the forthcoming match by Curb-Stomping both Cena and the champion. What could we expect from this volatile situation as we are now less than two week's removed from the Royal Rumble? We'll find out next week, but until then look for my upcoming article regarding how the Triple Threat Match might turn out.

1. The First Member of the 2015 Hall of Fame
I hardly think it's a cop out to name the "Macho Man" Randy Savage induction package the number one moment of the night. Whereas the induction announcement of another superstar from yesteryear might not make this list at all, the long awaited inclusion of Randy Savage is something to celebrate. Following his exit from the WWF in 1994, Randy Savage made the jump to World Championship Wrestling. Although many of his friends and colleagues would return home to the WWE after WCW's close in 2001, Randy Savage would never be among them. This lead many to speculate on why the "Macho Man" was apparently blacklisted by Vince McMahon—did it have something to do with Randy and STEPHANIE McMahon back in the mid-90's? Was it instead Randy's decision? Perhaps the former heavyweight champion still felt in some ways disrespected by a company that took him out of the ring, only to put him behind an announce desk. Whatever the woes may have been, when the Randy Savage documentary DVD came out in 2014, those same speculators from years ago began rumbling about whether or not this was finally the year we'd see Savage in the WWE Hall of Fame. TMZ broke the news early on Monday morning which then-in-turn prompted WWE to tease the announcement, both on WWE.com and The WWE Network. Throughout the evening we were privy to really well-produced vignettes and segments involving Superstars honoring Savage by attempting their best "Macho Man" impressions. Finally the word came down from on high, and the announce team gave the official word that The Macho Man Randy Savage would be the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015. Following the announcement was another very nice video package, although much longer and this time set to the song "The Heart" by NEEDTOBREATHE. I've always been a very emotional wrestling fan and I would be doing the WWE and this article a disservice if I failed to mention how touched I was when I saw this video. It was really intense for someone who grew up watching Randy Savage, idolizing the man behind the glasses and hoping against hope that he'd one day return to the WWE. Our collective hearts as "Macho Man" fans might have been broken that fateful May morning in 2011, but his spirit will live on and ours may now be lifted. I'm a little angry with the decision to allow Hulk Hogan the honors of inducting Randy, as I feel very strongly it should be his brother "Leaping" Lanny Poffo AKA The Genius. But that's an argument for another day—a day we aren't still celebrating the life of Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

This week's episode had twists and turns but did it have any wrestling? There were a bevy of bouts per usual but they were likely lost in the shuffle of another show devoted to promos and furthering The Authority storyline. I'm getting tired of saying, "I hope the WWE can turn things around," at the end of every single Monday Night Review, but it's the only sentiment that truly sums up my incredibly dismal perception of the current state of the WWE. Until next time, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you, if you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably reviewing Monday Night Raw.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-2/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw-2/#comments Thu, 08 Jan 2015 04:55:42 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Adam Rose Andre the Giant Bad News Barrett bellator Big E BNB Bray Wyatt Brock Lesnar Bunny Cesaro Dean Ambrose Dolph Ziggler Erick Rowan HHH Hulk Hogan John Cena Kane Leo Kruger NXT Owen Hart Papa Shango RAW Rosebuds Ryback Seth Rollins Shawn Michaels Stephanie McMahon The Authority Triple H Tyson Kidd UFC Vince McMahon Wade Barrett WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8620 Highlight of the Night The Top Moments from Raw Written by Mark Adam Haggerty If the devil is in the details then I'd like to meet the sanctimonious show-runner responsible for keeping up continuity. After last week's landmark effort I was convinced the WWE had turned a creative corner, but unfortunately I was again too […]

Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

If the devil is in the details then I'd like to meet the sanctimonious show-runner responsible for keeping up continuity. After last week's landmark effort I was convinced the WWE had turned a creative corner, but unfortunately I was again too quick to jump the gun. Let me first preface this week's edition of "The Highlight of the Night" by saying I had to scour tonight's card in order to find Five Moments that weren't utter disappointments. The in-ring action was scarce to say the least, however the matches we did see were ripe with staged high-spots and sensational desperation. Why would the WWE book an entire three-hour broadcast around The Authority? I fear the Creative Powers might be attempting to swerve the WWE Universe on an incredibly lofty scale—of which the size might prove too much to balance, thus alienating a large segment of long-time fans. Whatever the case may be it's my job to report on the events as they happen, and if this episode of Monday Night Raw did anything—it happened. Let's get right to it and break down The Top Five Moments that I didn't completely hate.

5. A Triple Threat Saves the Day

Ironically enough my Fifth Moment of the Night might have actually been the most important thing that happened during the entire broadcast. The second Raw hit the airways, we the viewer were privy to an enormous sea of WWE Superstars flooding the twenty-by-twenty squared circle. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder inside the ring and of course the first thing I thought was, "Oh I hope Vince McMahon is coming out to give a �Ruthless Aggression' speech." But it was the King of Kings and The Billion Dollar Princess set to regale the guys and gals with the new law of the land. I'm not so keen on segments depicting heroes and villains intermingling like average employees working in some office building. The human-resource skits in which Triple H scolds Superstars in front of one another are entirely too reminiscent of "Office Space" and makes me see the members of the main roster as human beings which can prove to be problematic to the product. People use to see Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant as Super Heroes and that's where hyperbolic terms like "Superstar" came from. Nobody ever fired Andre the Giant and made him cry; nobody ever beat up Hulk Hogan's dad; nobody ever wrangled an entire locker room of WWF athletes and lifted the curtain for the world to watch. Call me old fashioned, I just think there are ways to evolve without sacrificing key fundamentals. However though it may be dim, there is some sun peeking out from behind that cloud, in the form of Triple H announcing the WWE World Heavyweight Title match at The Royal Rumble will now be a Triple Threat—with Seth Rollins. Huge news no matter how you feel because this will be the first major opportunity for Rollins to take home the gold. And if you recall, Seth is currently in possession of the Money in the Bank briefcase meaning he could conceivably lose the match and then try for a second pin after incapacitating the winner. It's also important because it breaks up the monotony of Cena versus Lesnar which I, for one, am sick of seeing. I think Lesnar will more than likely retain when the night is at an end, but anything is possible considering The Beast Incarnate is said to already be in talks with both UFC and Bellator.

4. Party Time All the Time

During what amounted to an all-around impressive outing between Big E and Adam Rose, I couldn't help but think, "Wouldn't it be funny if I put this match on my list." I've been convinced for weeks now that Adam Rose is but a guise constructed for Leo Kruger to gain the trust of the WWE Universe. His attitude and mannerisms have been completely-Kruger and I was sincerely impressed with what he offered during this matchup with the New Day's resident Powerhouse. I wasn't actually planning to list them as a Top Moment of the Night though, are you crazy? But then something spectacular happened when two faceless Rosebuds entered the ring and proceeded to demolish Big E and The New Day on behalf of Adam Rose. Despite ongoing reports of NXT talent debuting as The Bunny, these Rosebuds were none other than Tyson Kidd and Cesaro. I don't know what this means for the two highly-skilled singles stars, and question whether it's the beginning of an alliance with Rose or rather retaliation against The New Day. If the team of Kidd and Cesaro can absorb this momentum and continue forward at a top rate of speed I have no doubts that we could be looking at the next WWE Tag Team Champions. Finally, I think it could be time for Adam Rose to ditch the rest of the Party Posse and send them back to the Exotic Express. Unless he insists upon fixing his gimmick soon, I fear it may be too late and he will forever be relegated to Santino Marella Territory.

3. The Ambulance That Looked Like Papa Shango

Okay let's put the brakes on and address the inconspicuous voodoo shaman in the room—am I the only one who thought the ambulance looked like Papa Shango? I know I'm not because there were a ton of tweets regarding the same exact Magic Eye that I seemed to be drawn to—and it wasn't a sailboat! Anyway, let's discuss this match. There was a lot of WWE-hate going into this contest as all across Twitter, smarks rang out with their collective complaint: "They're billing this as the first ambulance match but there have been ambulance matches before." Oh Internet Wrestling Community how quick you are to disregard what's right in front of you! This match was in fact billed as the, "First-ever Ambulance Match on Monday Night Raw." Now as far as that being true I have no idea, it's just been bugging me since the match was first announced. Uh—not much to say except what a waste of time and an utter detriment to both Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose, not just as men but as enthralling TV characters. I guess I shouldn't be surprised as we here in The �States see Raw on the USA Network, known for their �Characters' and the absurd situations in which they find themselves. I was just hoping the bogusness of Barely Legal wouldn't bleed through into something I treat like a religion. I thought they went to the ambulance a little too fast, although in a �shoot' Ambulance Match I assume the number one priority would be getting to the Ambulance so no logistical qualm with that. I refuse to believe there are any white folding tables with big red crosses painted on the top being used in the world of legitimate medicine. What the hell purpose would they serve, other than to maybe hand out vaccines but the TRUCK-LOAD? But that can't be what they're for because this was taped in The United States of Vaccinations, not Azerbaijan! So once again, I want to know what's up with these painstakingly comical pieces of furniture. Perhaps they're commonplace among the colleagues of Dr. Amman, but I think it's more likely they were spray painted white as an afterthought, and then Vince saw them and said, "Put a big red cross on �em, that'll look official." Though the match itself was overly-scripted and saturated with weaponry, the feud between Ambrose and Wyatt appears to be reaching a boiling point and I'm happy Bray walked away victorious. I assume the two will meet once more at The Royal Rumble, although to what end I cannot predict. Maybe there's a bigger match on the horizon or even some sort of spot in the �Rumble itself. I just hope Dean gets a singles win on pay-per-view in 2015.

2. Bad News for Dolph Ziggler Fans

Don't be a jerk and ask me to pick a match of the night because it would have to be a default drawing and the winner would likely be Bad News Barrett versus Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship. What is up with the IC belt nowadays, I mean does anybody give a damn about it anymore? It's been passed around more freely than an unmarked orange bottle of pills at E.D.C. and once again a new champion has been crowned "King of the Inter-continents." The WWE has become unquestionably predictable and as soon as this one-fall matchup was kicked back into gear as a two-out-of-three falls contest, I knew we'd see Bad News Barrett walk away champion. The best fall was the third as the first was rushed in an apparent effort to have Kane come down to announce the added stipulation. And the second was a squash serving only to tie the score at one victory-a-piece. WWE Superstars are such peculiar character specimens, just as I mentioned before with Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose. Take Bad News Barrett for example: he was a heel who went away due to injury and garnered an impressive following, he returned on Raw last week to seemingly defend the WWE Universe against Cesaro, and now he's being pushed like any brute-force bad guy doing the bidding for The Authority. It goes back to what I said initially about consistency and this company's inability to monitor its own program. I'm extremely happy for Bad News as I consider him a far more deserving champion and a more lucrative team player than Ziggler. I thought the match was well contested despite the twists that made the action nearly impossible to follow. I've said it before and I'll say it now with a little bit more conviction: the WWE needs to get rid of Glen "Kane" Jacobs as soon as they can get him on a plane to Stanford. He's outlived his usefulness and it's only a matter of time before he starts costing more money than he's bringing in. Plus there was so much Kane on this show, especially during matches such as this that should only rely on the chemistry between those involved. An earnest effort on behalf of Dolph Ziggler and the New Intercontinental Champion, but hardly worth a re-watch.

1. Let's Get to Those Consequences

The WWE never ceases to amaze me in their segmented approach to storytelling. I can't remember the last time I listed anything other than the final moments of Raw as Number One here on "The Highlight of the Night." It's consistently the most compelling piece of business on the card which isn't a good thing when there are barren pockets of airspace in every single episode of TV. However, as much as I'd like to see a contract signing or hostage negotiation placed somewhere else on the show, tonight's finale was fitting and couldn't have happened at any other time aside from the final fifteen minutes of Raw. Let's get the cringe-worthiness out of the way right now: "You're fired." Okay is everybody done shaking out the shudders? I think it's a safe bet we'll see all three Superstars by the time the Rumble gets here in less than a month. So either they're going to spin this program in a way that makes no sense, or they're going to keep three rising stars off the second-maybe-third biggest show of the year. It was far too goofy for what I'd like to see from the WWE in 2015, and made an otherwise humorous few moments feel awkward. As for "Cena Appreciation Night"—I love John Cena so in my house, every night is John Cena Appreciation Night! I've heard some rather harsh criticisms regarding Mr. Cena's acting in the waning moments of television, but I thought he was as good as ever. If you're really setting aside time to take shots at a wrestler's acting ability on Monday Night Raw, then perhaps you'd better assess what you actually enjoy about pro wrestling because your priorities seem to be a bit skewed. I loved the final seconds of Raw, and laughed like a lunatic during the initial music cue that brought hundreds of balloons down upon the WWE Universe. Just as John Cena's friends are fired, Stephanie and Triple H present the Doctor of Thuganomics with the big thumbs up and a rousing rendition of Stars and Stripes Forever—What a brilliant moment in wresting comedy that didn't need to be edited or altered. It was perfect and helped to add an exclamation point to an otherwise boring string of sentences.

When I can't come up with anything to say as relates to the matter at hand I usually cop out and share a personal anecdote. The first time I was allowed to "stay up late" and watch Monday Night Raw was the episode in which Shawn Michaels collapsed after receiving an educated kick care of "The King of Harts" Owen Hart. What a captivating way to engage an audience, especially younger viewers such as myself who were far more convinced of Kayfabe. I'm not asking the WWE to send "Stone Cold" into someone's house with a gun or to blow up another limousine, I'm simply yearning for the same unpredictability that had me hooked as a third grader in 1995. I think I sold everyone on my disdain for tonight's Raw already, so I don't see a need for any sort of snappy send-off. This episode was atrocious and I'm only hoping it was some sort of seat-filling train wreck that needn't be referenced going forward. The Royal Rumble is less than three weeks away and nothing has been announced other than a Triple Threat Title match and a few entries in the �Rumble itself. Can the WWE pick up the pace in promoting one of the Big Four Events, or will they fall flat just as they did with the Survivor Series? Ladies and gentlemen my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, join me next week to discuss what I'm hoping against hope shan't be another abysmal failure on behalf of the "Leader in Sports Entertainment."

http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-122015/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/whats-cookin-what-doesnt-matter-your-weekly-smackdown-breakdown-122015/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2015 02:08:31 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Adam Rose Alexander Rusev Big Show Bray Wyatt Brian Pillman Christian Curtis Axel Dean Ambrose Dean Malenko ECW Edge Goldust J & J Security Jamie Noble Joey Mercury Kane Kofi Kingston Konnor Miz MizDow Mr. Perfect NWA NXT Phil Brooks R-Truth RAW Rhodes Brothers Ring of Honor Roddy Piper Roman Reigns Royal Rumble Rusev Ryback Seth Rollins Smackdown Stardust Steve Austin The Ascension The Authority The Giant The Usos TNA Viktor Vince McMahon WCW WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8500 Let me be among the first columnists here at Cheap-Heat to wish you and yours a wonderfully Happy New Year and welcome to 2015! Thus far things feel pretty much the same when compared to last year but let’s not jinx ourselves because boring is better than any number of alternatives—am I right? I feel […]

Let me be among the first columnists here at Cheap-Heat to wish you and yours a wonderfully Happy New Year and welcome to 2015! Thus far things feel pretty much the same when compared to last year but let’s not jinx ourselves because boring is better than any number of alternatives—am I right? I feel good, so let's skip the ceremony and talk about Smackdown! Monday Night Raw was a white knuckle thrill ride up until the last segment so I’m optimistic that my breakdown of Smackdown might yield equally exciting moments—granted I usually write this intro blindly before I even tune in, so we're all going to find out together! My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I’m ready to report on the first Smackdown of 2015. More importantly I’m here to tell you What’s Cookin’ and What Doesn’t Matter!

You think you know us…

The reception couldn't have been hotter this past Monday when the former tag team champions and innovators of TLC opted to host the final Raw of 2014. However if I know the WWE the way I think I do, they'll try and take what worked for the USA Network and reimagine it on SyFy—and that's exactly what they did. The reaction to the hosts of The Cutting Edge and Peep Show respectively was far less energetic than the live response on Raw, but it's still good to see both Edge and Christian regardless of what the arena may have to say. Christian is a captivating character to me for a variety of reasons, unfortunately not all of which are positive. Back in 2005 when he broke from the �Fed and jumped ship to TNA there were a lot of people convinced that Captain Charisma was a far bigger deal than Vince ever allowed him to become. In hindsight it appears that Christian was just the first major WWE talent to sign with TNA, however his NWA World Heavyweight title reign helped to cement him as a main event superstar in millions of minds across the world. I appreciate Christian for everything he's done in the WWE, in TNA, on the independent circuit and beyond but I refuse to pretend that Jason Reso and Adam Copeland are anywhere close to one another when it comes to accomplishments. During the opening segment in which both former world champions made their way to the ring, I was privy to a plethora of Tweets, many of which questioning why Edge is always upstaging Christian. Uh—it's because he's better than Christian. And that's really all there is to it. That being said, I do think Christian deserves more of a championship send off than the quiet retirement he's been otherwise relegated to. Unlike Raw which had a hodgepodge of well-constructed backstage segments, Smackdown was forced to make due with Edge and Christian's boring blend of sophomoric stunts. Speaking of which: what the hell did they even draw on the photo of Stephanie and Hunter? If I had to tell you whether the interplay between Edge and Christian was Cookin' or Didn't Matter, I'd be inclined to give it the thumbs up as it is sure to tickle at least one of your funny bones and could prove to be the most exciting fifteen minutes of the entire show.

J&J Security is the New APA

Okay that's not exactly true, but I'm enjoying Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury quite a bit, perhaps just as much as I did the beer swilling antics of The Acolyte Protection Agency some 15 years ago. When the limo pulled into view I was almost certain we were going to get our first taste of The Authority in 2015, but as soon as I saw the disheveled driver I said, "There's no way Triple H would stand for that." And sure enough it was The New Stooges—2015's answer to Brisco and Patterson! Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble are two of the most talented wrestlers of the past ten years and beyond. In fact while many might remember Mercury for his tag team title victories, fewer can recall Jamie "Noble" Gibson's 2005 reign as Ring of Honor World Champion. It's an honor for WWE to present these venerated icons on TV each week, I just hope it leads to an appearance by their fellow producer and similarly decorated wrestler Dean Malenko. Not much to say about these two and their role on tonight's show other than to praise the work they do alongside whomever they're positioned. The repartee between the Stooges and E&C was some of the best organic comedy to have come from WWE TV in a long time and it makes me wonder if the company is utilizing any of these four talents in teaching timing to the kids down in developmental. In terms of overall talent, Jamie and Joey are two of the most formidable members of the main roster and it's only fitting that the promotion continues to feature them. If I had to narrow down the asinine antics of J&J to just one moment, it would most likely be when the duo commandeered Edge and Christian's pose-down gimmick, choosing to instead pose themselves—for the benefit of everybody with flash photography, of course. All around a cookin' display by two future Hall of Fame candidates.

“Lay down Rowan! We’re not meant to fight!”

When I released my "Top Fourteen Wrestlers of 2014", I was immediately criticized for not listing Bray Wyatt—not even as one of my SIX honorable mentions. Wyatt is an exceptional talent when Creative cares to provide him with provocative and oftentimes controversial material with which to work, but outside of his feud with John Cena during the first half of the year, I thought 2014 was a rather lackluster year for the next generation Varsity Club Member. The quiet dissolution of the Wyatt Family might have made sense in regards to protecting Luke Harper but it's done nothing to explain the current mindset of Erick Rowan. When this match kicked off, the audience could hear Wyatt plead with Rowan, heaving heavily-worded epitaphs to their former friendship at the monster, and protecting himself only with the phrase, "We are not meant to fight." This leads me to wonder what kind of contact the two "brothers" have even had since the confusing way in which their stable disbanded. I'm hopeful that 2015 will be a landmark year for young Windham Rotunda—quite frankly any sort of spotlight would spell a more successful several months for Rowan. I'd like to see Rowan built upon in a more respectable fashion, perhaps by engaging himself with Rusev once his streak has been squashed. If Erick Rowan can walk away from TV with a handful of victories this year, the next clash between Big Red and The Eater of Worlds might prove to be far more fascinating than this, a segment which I must admit does not matter.

Rhodes and Rose versus Truth and Usos

To truly get the most out of that title you'll need some cursory knowledge of iambic pentameter—it's a poetry thing, it doesn't matter. When I wrote my review for Raw I made mention that while there wasn't a whole lot of work going on from bell to bell, the few matches we did witness were enough to offset an otherwise unbalanced broadcast. The same cannot be said for Smackdown however as the shorter show had just as few moments of mat work, but lacked severely by comparison in regard to promos and production. If I had to choose a match of the night I guess it would be this six-man encounter featuring the new Tag Team Champions teaming with R. Truth as they battle The Rhodes Brothers and Adam Rose. I thought this match was incredibly entertaining despite the commercial breaks that only hindered my enjoyment; whenever I find myself fully invested I'm forcefully ejected from the moment by a commercial for Dig or Haven or whatever other bogus chicanery SyFy feels wrestling fans might be keen on. The Uso's were named the number one tag team in the WWE by many podcasters and columnists, but not without disclaimers disowning the tag division as a whole, thus declaring Jimmy and Jey winners by default. While I can agree the WWE is severely lacking in competition for the now-two time champions, it isn't fair to discredit a deserving team based solely on the company's lack of direction. I think a common complaint is that the Uso's might be making liberal use out of their over-the-top aerial maneuvers, but what else can you fault the duo on other than an unbelievable work ethic? Adam Rose is becoming one of the more interesting members of the roster in my eyes, and believe me—I know how insane that sounds! I think the reemergence of Leo Kruger is all but imminent at this point, though I'm not sure whether he'll change his name or simply remain Adam Rose. This has more than likely been a case of a character not clicking with the audience outside of developmental, but half of me still holds hope that Adam Rose is a cover-persona concocted only to help introduce Kruger in a more meaningful way. This match was definitely cookin' by comparison as it offered the best back and forth storytelling of the evening. Other matches may have featured higher profile players, but this contest was perhaps the only on the card to consider Kayfabe and therefore suspend anybody's disbelief.

Well it's the Big Show…

The Big Show "broke into" the WWE just about 16 years ago and if you would have told me that THE GIANT would be wrestling more than twenty years after his WCW debut, I'd have called you a dirty liar. Who thought Paul Wight would even be alive in twenty-fifteen, much less engaged in one of the more important programs leading into Wrestlemania season? It's absolutely absurd to consider the fact that this guy was the ECW Champion nine years ago, and even then was said to be on the backside of his career. I think it's about time for the "Big Nasty Bastard" to consider accepting a Hall of Fame ring in return for his spot on the main roster, because his presence on the card is getting ugly. I'm not trying to bury the Big Show, but when evaluating what's really wrong with Raw and Smackdown, you shan't look any further than the Big Show to find one hell of a problem. One of the biggest complaints about Vince McMahon and the way he's chosen to run his company is the stigma he inevitably attaches to independent and international talents who were established elsewhere; I think as long as superstars such as �Show and Kane are willing to continue, there will be no shortage of high profile programs available for them. But can we stop putting them through tables? Anyway—I've always been a proponent of using established main eventers to put over deserving young talent, especially in the case of an individual such as Ryback. But I question the logic involved in using The Big Show to sell both Ryback and Reigns simultaneously. A loss on either side cheapens the program going in the Royal Rumble for everybody, all while forcing Ryback into a tough spot with very little hope for a positive outcome. This time last week I was trying to give the WWE the benefit of the doubt as the annual calendar change generally yields lower ratings, but now that we've fully entered another year and Smackdown is set to switch time slots, I have little left in the way of empathy and I implore WWE to start treating their B-show like a live event even if they know it's not. I suppose if you're interested in the further development of Ryan Reeves and The Ryback character this segment might have a few standout spots but it is my professional opinion that this match and the hype associated therein simply does not matter.

Curtis Axel… oh wait no, just kidding…

You get it, because it looked like Curtis Axel was going to compete, but then didn't? Remember? Go ahead and rewind because it happened so quickly that I'm assuming a good deal of Facebook Junkies and Twitter Addicts missed the 30 seconds of ring time and began taking notice again once The Lunatic Fringe started speaking his peace. I can't very well argue that The Big Show shouldn't be squashed and then offer up no opinion on who deserves to do the job instead. Curtis Axel is the perfect superstar for this type of role because he's got name recognition, he's a very talented worker, but nobody gives a Phil Brooks about him! I always wondered why Creative chose to bury guys like Kofi Kingston when Mr. Perfect's sourly untalented son was around, more than happy to get any sort of TV time. I was actually pretty intrigued by the direction this segment took as it introduced Dean as a man willing to handle his business, but still determined to take vengeance on Bray Wyatt. Dean Ambrose gets compared to Steve Austin on a regular basis and while I can see the similarities plain as day, I think Dean may instead lay somewhere between Roddy Piper and Brian Pillman, perhaps with some Scott Levy thrown in as well. I think his movements in the ring in addition to his very distinct facial features are reminiscent of Raven, while his vocal delivery and unpredictable nature are more akin to Roddy Piper. Everybody appears to introduce the uncanny comparisons to Pillman when it comes to the "Loose Cannon" aspect but I more so see Flyin' Brian in Dean's temerity and tenacity inside the ring. As pertains to the program with Wyatt and Ambrose, I couldn't care less about their relationship to one another; I love both characters and I'm inspired to tune in thanks to the thought of where both men might be following this career-defining feud

The Ascension Sucks

I had to get that out somehow without pulling any punches and the facts are simple: The Ascension Sucks. When I first started working for Cheap-Heat I was given an assignment that stated: "Make a case for the Ascension on Team Authority." It was an arduous adventure to say the least as I've never been impressed with either individual and have no faith that they'll ever make it out of 2015. I think their success on NXT was owed greatly to the size difference between developmental and main roster talent. There's been an obvious shift in criteria when it comes to how big a professional wrestler has to be, but the main roster hasn't yet caught up with the rest of the wrestling world the way NXT has. I had a hard time believing any of the action that went on during their debut against The Miz and Mizdow, and I'm sure I'm not the only one as this Friday's match had Konnor and Viktor pitted against an unknown pair of jobbers. To their credit however, the jobbers did a marvelous job of selling the Ascension as well as their finishing move "The Fall of Man" which is basically just "Total Elimination" as performed by amateurs. I don't have much positive to say about The Ascension as their gimmick seems to rely heavily on their ability to dominate. Who are they going to dominate when high flying teams such as The Uso's and Los Matadores are even bigger than they are?

Roman versus Rusev: Protecting Nobody

I understand that Christian wanted to compete with Edge in the coolness category, but Captain Charisma just cannot hold a candle to the Rated R Superstar, even when Christian makes outlandish main event announcements like when he booked Roman Reigns and the United States Champion Alexander Rusev. The most casual of fans has to know that Rusev isn't ready to relinquish his incredibly impressive litany of wins since arriving in the WWE, and it certainly won't happen on a taped show set to broadcast on the second day of the year. At the same time, Roman Reigns has been behind the eight-ball for several months during a time initially deemed the cotillion for twenty-nine year old Leati Anoa'i. The match itself was tolerable enough, but knowing the outcome may only unfold in one of but a few ways inhibits one's ability to get behind either Superstar. I think Rusev is without question the most athletically superior new face on the main roster. A lot is to be said for Seth Rollins but pound for pound, skill for skill—my money is on The Bulgarian Brute. I'm still not sold on Reigns, and I hope the powers-that-be have finally come to terms with the fact that this shouldn't be Roman's year. If he's pushed now, it could tarnish whatever natural momentum he might be privy to in the future. I really think the best thing to do is engage him with the Big Show and stay the course; work him alongside established stars and fellow powerhouses so that by Summeslam he's more suited to challenge Seth Rollins for the title I predict the Architect will be in possession of come August.

Compared to its flagship counterpart this episode of Friday Night Smackdown failed to ever hit a peak with which I felt comfortable declaring a break out moment. There were several moderately interesting occurrences that succeeded in driving the overall story arch forward, but nothing ever clicked with me. I’m a pretty jaded puroresu and indie fanatic, but I usually give WWE the benefit of the doubt. I’m having a hard time believing Smackdown can ever be viable unless it ever goes live, which seems to be too much to ask from a roster of wrestlers already spread far too thin. Whatever they do, I hope the WWE does something to shake up their B Show because it’s becoming little more than 90 minutes of meaningless exhibitions spliced together alongside footage from Raw. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty; if you only make one resolution this New Years, have it be to bookmark my page here at Cheap-Heat. You'll like the way it looks—I guarantee it.

http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw/ http://www.cheap-heat.com/highlight-of-the-night-the-top-moments-from-raw/#comments Tue, 30 Dec 2014 23:38:55 +0000 Mark Adam Haggerty Blogs Other Blogs Bad News Barrett BNB Bunny Cesaro CM Punk Colt Cabana Daniel Bryan DDP Diamond Dallas Page Dolph Ziggler Goldust HHH Jey Uso Jimmy Uso John Cena Miz MizDow Naomi RAW Royal Rumble Ryback Seth Rollins Skip Sheffield Stephanie McMahon Talk is Jericho The Authority Trinity Triple H Tyson Kidd Usos Vince McMahon WWE http://www.cheap-heat.com/?p=8371 Highlight of the Night The Top Moments from Raw Written by Mark Adam Haggerty I feel like a middle aged couple searching for the spark in my marriage, because Ladies and Gentlemen, I am BACK IN THE SWING OF THINGS! What better way to segue away from a week off into another years' worth of […]

Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

I feel like a middle aged couple searching for the spark in my marriage, because Ladies and Gentlemen, I am BACK IN THE SWING OF THINGS! What better way to segue away from a week off into another years' worth of work than with a slightly bawdy joke? I hope everyone has enjoyed their Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever they might be celebrating and is geared up for an amazing 2015! I had the opportunity to visit with family in New Jersey for the first time in nearly three years; it's sad to say goodbye, but I'm more than exciting to get back to my regular writing routine. So how about we all start talking about this week's episode of Monday Night Raw? I might catch some flak for saying so, but I considered this to be one of the best episodes of Raw all year. And I'm delighted to help you decide what's worth watching with my Highlight of the Night: The Top Five Moments from WWE's flagship program.

5. "It's Me! It's Me! It's BNB!"

I've been waiting for Bad News Barrett to come back to TV for some time now as it's appeared he's been cleared to compete for a few months at least. But anticipation is the name of the game and when Wade finally made his return tonight, it was met with much surprise and immediate fanfare. But let's not ignore the rest of the build, as the entire segment was as well-constructed as anything else we saw on Raw. Let's rewind for a moment or two to where we are met with the man with one name who once went by Antonio. In recent weeks Cesaro has formed a powerful alliance with the equally impressive Tyson Kidd and Natalya, so when he was seated CM Punk-style in the corner of the ring, I figured he was just waiting for Goldust or somebody to fill time between some already exciting moments on the final episode of 2014. But then he started dropping what I'll shamelessly call a pipe-bomb and my attitude shifted immediately. He discussed how he should have had a break-out year due to where he started and his impressive victory at Wrestlemania 30 in New Orleans, as well as how the WWE claims he doesn't connect with the WWE Universe. But rather than pointing the finger at anyone backstage, or even turning the focus on himself, Cesaro blamed the WWE Universe itself. The Swiss Superman used his own shoot grievance with Vince McMahon and the WWE Creative Team as ammunition to sling back at the fans who "never wanted him to succeed." Toward the end of his heated promo, he exclaimed that nobody can do what he does when he steps between, "those four ropes." He immediately caught the flub, and joked, "Four sides. It has four sides." Although it was a humorous incident that had the potential to draw some fans away from the importance of the overall occasion, I'm inclined to forgive Cesaro, as it was obviously a loss in translation that he expertly attempted to cover. I think everybody really enjoyed the verbiage Bad News led with, borrowing from Diamond Dallas Page by saying, "It's me, it's me, it's BNB!" The match itself was perfectly paced and didn't appear to aggravate Barrett's recovery, all while displaying both men on a level where they could both be proud.

4. Uso Crazy!

If you'd have told me that there was a title change on Raw and I had to guess I'd probably say, "Oh Dolph Ziggler lost the IC belt again? Shocking." But this turn of events involving some double team maneuvering and two faced tactics caught me off guard, as I was sure I was right all along about Naomi. Earlier in the show, the television audience was privy to Naomi AKA Trinity giving The Miz a great big hug as thanks for the part he played in getting her noticed in the music industry. Or something? To be honest, I tune out around this exact same time every single week. But the point is, Naomi and The Miz appeared to be on good terms with one another which made me think this Wrestlemania season could be sort of sour for The Usos. What better way to build a long term feud than to feature a man's wife alongside his enemy? And then the inevitable Miz and Mizdow blow off could take place in San Francisco. But when the bell sounded and the dust cleared, The Uso's had captured the ugliest belts in all of professional wrestling and Naomi was still standing by her man. I have to say I was just as pleased with this outcome for one very simple reason: I'm tired of the Miz and Mizdow shenanigans. I know everybody loves it, believe me! I know! But at what point does the mimicry get to be too much and borderline on Bunny Suits and "Partying all the Time?" Damian Sandow is de-evolving faster than Toad did in "The Super Mario Bros. Movie," and I'm afraid that if he continues falling down whenever The Miz gets hurt, he'll have very few options as far as future roles of any merit. In other words, he is now and will forever be the New Santino Marella. So—I was happy the belts were taken by a far more deserving duo who tend to get a lot of heat from the internet, but as far as I'm concerned are the best tag team on the WWE's main roster. Hopefully now we might begin to see the makings of Mizdow's revolt from the Hollywood A-Lister which could lead to a very entertaining bout for Wrestlemania 31 at Levi's Stadium.

3. The Ryback Promo

I was on the edge of my seat for the entirety of Ryan Reeves' insanely personal accounting of his past and previous experiences. This was of course coming off the heels of Ryback's appearance on Chris Jericho's podcast, where he spoke on many of the same issues. When I was back in Jersey I had a friend who was recommending the Ryback episode of "Talk is Jericho" to everyone because of how much it made him like "The Big Guy" as a person. Well, I guess the WWE Creative Team thought the same thing, because as soon as he began talking about ringing the bell in Las Vegas for the WWF, I knew they were running with something special. This promo happened so far down the card that it was originally my number one moment of the night. Regardless of where it's placed on my list, this 5-7 minute speech and video package is worth a watch, especially when you're given the chance to see not only a young Skip Sheffield, but Ryan Reeves' first venture into the WWE in 2004 as a contestant on "Tough Enough." I'm not sure if Ryback is going to beat "The Pride of the Russian Federation" on his first attempt, but I'd put money on Ryback being the man that finally defeats Rusev and brings the United States Title back to America. I honestly think that if he can stay healthy and not get hurt, 2015 will be a landmark year for Ryback in the WWE.

2. "I'm still going to kill him."

First off, Rollins calls Cena, "John" a lot. Way more than anyone else, ever. Okay—I think there's bound to be some debate over whether the final segment of Raw was any good or not. I had someone tell me that Raw was, "Perfect up until the end." But I disagree. I think Rollins has a tendency to go on a little too long when he's given the microphone. But you have to place some of the blame on John Cena for employing perhaps the wrong amount of poise at inappropriate times. I understand that Cena is probably a far better actor than most of the rest of the roster, but there's a time and a place for dramatic pauses and it's not in the waning seconds of a 3 hour and fifteen minute show. I actually thought Rollins was spot on with everything he did and I was particularly surprised with some of the words he was allowed to get away with. As previously mentioned, this entire episode was eye-opening and seemed to mark the dawning of a new creative direction for the WWE Main Roster. It seems that the overt silliness is starting to take a back-seat to personal plotlines and callbacks to previously establishment stories. Seth Rollins stood over a legitimately injured man and threated, not to end his career, but to end his life. Seth's final words before being thwarted by Cena were, "I'm still going to kill him." Wow! Maybe that's too much for some, but it's just the right amount for me. I've been tentatively excited about Seth Rollins all year; I've really enjoyed him and I've been giving him 80% of my attention when he deserves all I've got. I can't say that I'm all too happy about the return of The Authority, as I figure it's just a bit too soon to bring them back. Especially right after Christmas? Can it be any more obvious that Stephanie and Hunter really just wanted a vacation? I personally would have held off until after The Royal Rumble, if I was going to reinstate The Authority at all. I think the WWE needs some breathing room without a totalitarian general manager or executive parading around on TV acting as the ultimate bad guy. But they're back and there's nothing we can do. I'll agree with my friend, that everything on Raw was perfect until the VERY end when the decision was made and, "The King of Kings" music hit, but to say that this segment with Seth and Cena was anything other than thrilling is to sell both individuals short.

1. Will Daniel Bryan be in the 2015 Royal Rumble?

Yes! Yes! Yes! I had a feeling that Daniel Bryan wasn't going to be retiring as it might appear in bad taste to tease good news when a man's career is actually on the line. I'm very excited to hear that Bryan will be returning to action at The Royal Rumble in Philadelphia, but I can't help but wonder how much of his return is based on medical clearance and how much is his own determination to wrestle regardless of the risks. Since Punk's interview with Colt Cabana, there's been speculation that certain members of Creative and even the medical staff in WWE doesn't take every injury as seriously as they perhaps should. Could it be possible that Bryan just wanted to return, found an obscure doctor who agreed to clear him, and the WWE was willing to look the other way? Worse things have happened and the last I heard, it wasn't looking like Bryan would return at all, let alone any time soon. But even more miraculous things have happened; I was at The Royal Rumble at Madison Square Garden in 2008 when the Number 30 entry was none other than John Cena, returning several months before anyone expected him back. And that was seven years ago. So I guess Bryan's return to the ring isn't so far outside the realm of possibilities that I need dwell on "maybe" and "what if" scenarios. I've spoken with a variety of people recently who feared Bryan might not be as well received when he finally made his return, a notion that I dismissed and I'm glad I did because the fans seem to love Bryan more than ever. I tend to get emotional during wrestling a lot, and when the crowd chanted, "No! No! No!" at the very thought of Daniel hanging it up, I too thought for a moment, "Is this it? Is he retiring?" Thank the Good Wrestling Lord that was not the case. I personally know a few people who decided then and there that they're buying tickets to Wrestlemania. Who knows who will win the rumble or who will be champion come spring time. But the mere mention of Bryan versus Lesnar is enough to put asses in all seventy five thousand seats at Levi Stadium.

Sometimes when I watch an episode of Monday Night Raw that I find especially entertaining, I'll then listen to the Voices of Wrestling or read the Wrestling Observer and realize that I was looking at the program through rose-colored glasses. I really hope that isn't the case this week because I really thought the entire WWE did a great job in producing a watchable three hours of wrestling that I didn't want to end. Granted, the promo-to-workrate ratio was a bit skewed, but the few matches that were squeezed into an otherwise dramatic evening of events were memorable and might directly impact the path of certain Superstars heading into The Royal Rumble. Rumor has it that we can expect even more thrilling programming as the calendar turns to 2015, but that remains to be seen. I hope you didn't miss me too much as I've been gone for a week, but for those of you who even noticed my absence, I appreciate your loyalty and I'm excited to bring you even more articles as the New Year draws closer. Until next time, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to bookmark Cheap-Heat.com to keep up with everything I've got going on. Happy New Year everybody!