The Highlight of the Night
The Top Moments from Raw
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
I'm glad I had time to tear myself away to watch Raw, as I've started watching every Wrestlemania in preparation for a seemingly odd event out of Santa Clara, California. But I suppose thirty-one is a peculiar number to begin with—can you really think of a stranger number than thirty-one? Seventy-three? But see, seven and three make ten so at least that's a comparable duo of digits. My point is that Wrestlemania seems like it's going to be sort of strange and while that most certainly isn't owed to its numeric value, perhaps we're looking at a launching point for Wrestlemania 32. Next year's Wrestlemania in Arlington, Texas at the AT&T Stadium is sure to attract the largest live audience in WWE history so it's not without reason to question whether or not this year's Roman Reigns main event is a precursor to bigger events that will follow. This episode helped to reinforce my theory, so without any further ado, let's check out the Top Five Moments from Raw in this week's Highlight of the Night.
5. The Bella Twins Spray Tan Paige
During his interview with Steve Austin, WWE COO Triple H said that he'd like to highlight the women more favorably inside the squared circle. The Game made no effort to hide the fact that while he is in control of NXT, the main roster is still under the watchful eye of Vince McMahon. And what better way to examine the differing philosophies of each promotors than by contrasting Charlotte and Sasha Banks on NXT with the spray tan storylines on Monday Night Raw. The daughter of the Nature Boy is on television each and every week defending her title with the same fervor as her famous father. Up on Raw however, the female competitors are meant to engage in meaningless matches made only to allow other Divas the chance to talk on commentary. I had mixed feelings about the execution of the "spray tanning" of Paige; on the one hand I was taken with an unusual premise that I can't recall ever happening before. We've seen Rick Martell spray his cologne codenamed "Arrogance" on his opponents, but tanning spray—that's a new one. I'm not sure if it was because of Paige's complexion or just a hideous oversight in production, but that "spray" wasn't so much golden bronze as it was dark brown. I would have loved to make the connection on my own, but I'll give credit where it is due: after listening to the Voices of Wrestling's weekly "Shake Them Ropes" podcast, I began to also wonder: "Whose bright idea was it to paint Paige's skin on the second night of Black History Month?" A faux pas that's sure to fly underneath the radar, good for all parties involved especially Paige who doesn't happen to have a main event romantic interest. I don't generally reference the photos I use in my articles, but watching the Bella's spray Paige with Alicia Fox holding her down—looks like we could have a ladies' NWO on our hands. Of course I'm kidding, but I can always dream.
4. The Miz's New Personal Assistant
The first interplay between the Miz and Mizdow occurred backstage when an obvious WWE employee asked for Mizdow's autograph rather than the Miz. This infuriated the "Hollywood A-lister," so much so that he fired Mizdow and then rehired him as his personal assistant. While everybody else is focused on the impending break-up, I'm just happy we aren't going to see Damien Sandow running the imaginary ropes at ringside anymore. It was funny for a few weeks, but it's outstayed its welcome, at least on my television. The personal assistant is a more interesting role where Sandow will be allowed to be his own character to a degree and stop focusing on duplicating whatever the heck it is that the Miz is doing in the ring. When it came time for the Miz to face-off-against Sin Cara, Mizdow followed behind and kept a far lower profile than usual. I'm excited for what is to become of these two Superstars, and I wonder if the combustion might come before, or perhaps even at Wrestlemania 31 in Santa Clara. The Miz gets a lot of heat from the internet fans, who as we've learned in recent weeks, are not as strong nor as numerous as they'd like to think. The Miz is a WWE Triple Crown Champion; he's held the WWE Championship, the intercontinental championship, the U.S. championship, the WWE tag team championship, the world tag team championship, he's a Money in the Bank winner, and not for nothing—he's a Slammy Award winner. If the keyboard warriors of the world are so antsy about pushing Damian Sandow to the next level, he's either going to be jobbed out to Cena or he's going to get there with the Miz. And though I anticipate their split with bated breath, I appreciate the WWE's approach to building their rivalry as slow as possible.
3. The Authority Always Knows What's Best for Business
Oh the opening segment of Raw, the dreaded half hour benchmark that every Monday Night is traditionally held to. Without going off on a tangent, or even worse repeating something you've already read a hundred times elsewhere—why does every show have to start the same way? Why can't one week open with a wrestling match? Hell, I'll take a weather report from JBL at the top of every show versus the same convoluted good versus evil dialogue we've been hearing since the dawn of Sports Entertainment. It also seems that there aren't any commercials during the first half hour of Raw, and after that we get one every ten minutes—is that predetermined, or would breaking the monotony of monologues space the breaks in a way where we wouldn't be seeing a Sirens ad except for every fifteen minutes instead of every ten? That being said, every once in a great while there are certainly those 20-minute talking segments that actually work with the audience. While this probably wasn't one of them, it wasn't intolerable, and the pacing of each individual's arrival helped to keep time as irrelevant as that stupid vest Roman Reigns is still wearing. I thought the big announcement was pretty bogus considering Triple H was hyping it all week, as if it wasn't just going to be another number one contenders match. I enjoyed Roman Reigns tonight, and I'll admit he's not anymore near the top of my list of favorite WWE Superstars; he was intense and I thought he had a much easier time believing in his own hype than he did at the Royal Rumble. Of course his match with the Big Show was a disappointment, but I didn't list that car crash as a must watch moment—all you have to know is that Roman lost for some dumb reason. Seth is an incredible character, never mind the fact that Colby Lopez is a phenomenal wrestler, Seth Rollins is such a believable bad guy and I love that he's made it into the title picture so soon. He's the Anti-Roman Reigns in that regard, but that's what years of hard work and dedication on the indies will earn you. Speaking of indies, I'm without question excited to see Daniel Bryan making his way back to the top despite his uneventful exit from the �Rumble, but where is this heading? Will we see the former WWE World Heavyweight champion in the main event of Wrestlemania? Before he can do that he needs to make it through two former members of the Shield, starting tonight with Seth Rollins.
2. Find Me
The battle between Bray Wyatt and Dolph Ziggler was highly enjoyable, spanning across commercial breaks and proving to once again promote the value that is Bray Wyatt. Wyatt is an interesting individual for reasons beyond the obvious; I can't ever see Windham Rotunda taking up to honing his craft on the independent circuit much less in TNA, which can be said for plenty of the homegrown talent on the WWE Roster. I found it peculiar, the way in which Bray no-sold the Fame-asser from the "Show Off," only to offer up a receipt in the form of Sister Abigail. But the real story coming out of Colorado featuring the "Eater of Worlds" occurred later in the night when Bray cut one of his cryptic promos from backstage. My first instinct was apathy, as I've heard this song and dance before. But as Bray began to talk, and started hinting at who he might have his eye on, my heart raced and interest level began to rise. He finished his speech, not by naming the man he sought, but by instead insisting he come out from hiding: "Find Me." Was he actually referring to the 7-time world champion? Could he really mean the leader of the WWE locker room? Was Bray Wyatt really challenging—the Undertaker? I've been against pitting �Taker against Bray since the speculation started running wild a few months ago, but after previewing the way this feud could be constructed, I'm having to think twice about Bray Wyatt versus The Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXXI.
1. Bryan Danielson versus Tyler Black
The main event of the evening was a bout that many of us had hoped would headline Wrestlemania, featuring two former Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champions battling to decide who will go on to wrestle Roman Reigns at Fast Lane. The winner will then get a championship match at Wrestlemania though I think it's safe to say Roman remains in the title picture. This was every bit the incredible match-up it was promised to be on paper. Of course this was far from the first time these two titans have tied up and I'm happy to see Bryan keeping in step with a younger Superstar who's been incredibly active over the past year. I'm a bit tired of the Bryan versus the Authority dynamic, particularly when Triple H admits Kayfabe is dead; especially when there are photos from the Hall of Fame floating around depicting Kane and Bryan embracing. Daniel Bryan is most likely the "red herring" of Wrestlemania, used to draw the focus from whatever is actually going on. In the end Bryan defeated Seth as anyone might have predicted; the alternative could have meant another internet meltdown. After the contest, Bryan promised the fans in Colorado that he would go on to the main event of Wrestlemania. I'm starting to get concerned that the Royal Rumble is beginning to mean nothing, especially now that there is only one title for which to challenge. I think Reigns will keep his match with Brock, but that's not to say Daniel won't be a factor as well—but another triple threat? I think the WWE should borrow from �Mania 10 and allow both men the chance to challenge in separate matches. Maybe Brock wins the first and loses the second, maybe he loses the first and Bryan wrestles Reigns, maybe Brock emerges victorious and signs a contract extension. A wise man once said, "Anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation," but that doesn't mean it will make sense.
While I fear the WWE has embarked on a style of storytelling for which there is no conceivable happy ending, this episode of Monday Night Raw helped reconfigure my thinking so that Wrestlemania makes more sense. Certainly the drama with Daniel Bryan cannot be ignored, and I wonder how the WWE will continue their misguided attempt to silence wrestling fans who are simply dissatisfied with Roman Reigns. Ladies and gentlemen my name is Mark Adam Haggerty thanking you as always for joining me on this, another exciting installment of Highlight of the Night: The Top Five Moments from Raw.
