Gamblers and Gamblerettes WELCOME to a tradition like no other. Get your bookies on the phone, or run to your nearest off shore betting website, or if you're lucky enough to live in an area that legalizes sports betting? We are super insanely jealous of you! THIS. IS!
OOOH, look who cooked up a logo? Maybe I splurged with my crazy insane (That is some redundancy) – NXT Takeover: Rival winnings. Either way, its time for another major Pay Per View , and so allow me, your humble handicapper to make sense of the impending offering from the World Wide Leader… wait that's ESPN… From all the News Fit to Print- nope that's the New York Times. Never mind.
This Over/Under is for:
As it currently stands? We have five announced matches. Four of the Five FOR Titles, and the Fifth for a shot at THE Title. Lets go, shall we?
Overview!
So the Uso's have been the Tag Team Champions or fighting FOR the Tag Team Championships for… uh… EVER? I was at the Money in the Bank in Philly where they fought the Shield in the pre show, and they were still chasing then. Anyway… The division is in that "What, we have a tag team division" time that seems to plague the muckety mucks in Titan Towers. With like half their tag roster currently breaking up, they have the Usos. They have A New Day… Los Matadors… The Ascension… And thankfully NONE of those teams are challenging Jimmy and Jay at Fastlane. We have a fairly new pairing in Cesaro and Tyson Kidd. Who got this shot by beating up on the Usos the last few weeks and scoring some pinfalls over our Tag Champs, be it in Singles or various tag/mix tag situations as Nattie and Naomi have both been involved. Cesaro is far and away the most underutilized talent in the WWE
#pushCesaro
trended earlier this week when the Swiss Superman's twitter got hacked.
On the bright side, Cesaro? Your dong isn't out there on the internet for the rest of eternity!
– This match should be entertaining. You have the possibility for great in ring work and judging by the lack of matches on this card? It should get time! PS – PLEASE come out to Kidd's music!
Favorites: Usos -100. I just feel like they aren't ready for Cesaro and Kidd to take this and run. Maybe they save it for Mania where the "Masters of the Universe", or "Brass Ring Club" WILL be super mega over.
Underdogs: Kidd and Cesaro. +150. I don't have faith in how they book Cesaro. I also can't see two title changes on this card, and I'm clearly picking one later. It won't SHOCK me if they do win. I know I'll be rooting for it.
Prop Bets of the Match: Cesaro gets 2 cuz he's my FAVORITE, DAMMIT!
Over Under: 11.5 combine rotations by Cesaro in the course of the match. (To Clarify: that means through out the whole match… he could spin Jay 5 times and Jimmy 7 and the over would hit!)
Team Name: WWE settles on a team name for Cesaro and Kidd No: -250. Yes: +400.
Overview!
Nikki Bella won the Divas Championship from AJ Lee CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! – sorry my inner super annoying smark came out there… Anyway. Nikki won, and Brie has stayed by her side after having to be her servant… I… ugh… can ANYONE tell me WHY Brie decided this? Have they really explained it? Was it on an episode of Superstars or something? *Sigh* Anyway – Paige beat Nikki and Brie. The Bellas went all "Mean Girls" on Paige… which is SO Fetch… They spray tanned her – New-New-New-Bella-Order! They took her clothes so Paige had to basically wrestle in Cosplay and #NakedPaige Trended worldwide!… you pervs! Paige cut a great promo and I'm actually looking forward to this match a little more than I was a couple weeks ago. Paige can wrestle. Nikki has improved greatly and I think their contrast of styles could mesh well. Throw in Brie outside and it could be a fun match.
Favorite Nikki Bella -300. I can't see Nikki dropping this. This feud has legs if they want it. Let the twin magic flow and let the numbers game get to Paige so she chases that much harder. Remember Paige's reaction the night AFTER Mania last year? Put that IN Mania this year going after the Diva's Championship. Just my two cents of armchair booking.
Underdog: Paige: +200. Like the tag title match, I could SEE her winning, but don't think this is the Pay Per View for it. I'd be MORE surprised by her win here than Tyson/Cesaro. Let the numbers game get to her. Let her keep chasing, and let her ramp up her unhinged violent side as she chases going into the Grand Daddy of them all (Dammit, that's the Rose Bowl!)
Prop Bet of the Match:
Will we hear "CM Punk" chants during this contest? Yes: -450. No +800. Simply put, IF the fans get bored? This is a standard go to, AND it won't die… much to my annoyance. Also I could see AJ Lee making her return during this contest to even the odds for Paige, which… yeah… AJ = CM Punk Chants, as I JUST demonstrated. Points to where I "chanted" CM Punk in this column.
Wade Barrett returned and quickly won the Intercontinental Championship because the Authority are JERKS and want to screw Dolph Ziggler… #TeamZiggler – so he won the IC title and… well… yeah. He went on a losing streak, because THAT is what Champions need to do after months off. Dean Ambrose, no stranger to losing streaks, came out and talked about being a CHAMPION. Said he wanted that feeling again, and went on setting his sites on Bad News Barrett and his precious IC Championship. Dean beat former champions while constantly goading Wade. Barrett, as all good heels SHOULD, was like "no thank you, sir!" It came to a head on Raw with Dean zip cuffing Wade around the ring post and forcing his John Hancock upon the supple contract paper… that came off dirtier than I would have liked. So Dean got his chance. We get an IC title match.
Favorite: Dean Ambrose -300. Dean breaks his crazy long PPV losing streak. Gets a shot to carry the Intercontinental Championship and… HOPEFULLY they make it a meaningful run. Its a good spot for him right now, and people will be into it, and if worked right it could be what it USED to be… a Stepping Stone to bigger and better things. In a wonderful wrestling world (yeah alliteration) – in six months Dean Ambrose will have really elevated the prestige of the IC title AND will be on the cusp of breaking out in a big way at the top of the card.
Underdog: Wade Barrett +200. Maybe its because I'm not a huge fan, but he hasn't connected with me at all since his return. How they've handled it hasn't helped. Some of me balks at handicapping this as a title change because they've hot shot the HELL out of this belt, but long term? I think Ambrose needs this win, while Barrett can start a reclamation project. The Bad News Barrett gimmick can be entertaining. He could be a good candidate to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
Prop Bet of the Match:
Over/Under 2.5 Soccer references by JBL during this match. If you follow Barrett on twitter he has been chirping at Wayne Rooney, Manchester United player, and is trying to book a tag match for Mania. Tongue in cheek of course. No WAY Rooney gets the okay for that during the home stretch of the season.
Overview: Backstage at the Rumble Cena and Rusev crossed paths. Unpleasantries were exchanged. And set in motion was a huge test for the Super Athlete slash Bulgarian, but now way more Russian, Brute. Also a GINORMOUS step up the ladder for Rusev. This feud has been good. We've gotten less jokey more serious Cena. And while I question the "old/washed up" storyline they're throwing Cena's way… I mean c'mon, dude is STILL In his 30s. He could easily be wrestling for another 8-10 years… (Waits for the wailing, gnashing of teeth, and vomiting so subside.) – This is a good opponent for Cena. … … no… SERIOUSLY… STOP. LAUGHING! He does well in these high impact [JR]SLOBBERKNOCKER[/JR] type bouts. Sheamus. Umaga. Mark Henry. The promo and intense brawl on Raw as well done. Cena isn't at a hundred percent, but like that could stop him. There's been a lot of action on this match, maybe because of all the betting lines. Vegas doesn't seem to fancy this to be a clear cut "win/loss" type deal, so bets have been hedged.
No Contest: -250. Double count out. Match gets tossed out for whatever reason. I mean, c'mon. Cena doesn't get pinned or tap out. So maybe he just gets beat down setting up bigger and better Mania type things for these two.
Cena by DQ: -200. BUT… They aren't gonna spoil Rusev's "undefeated" streak… Well he's lost but hasn't been pinned or submitted, so there is some semantic grey area… so UNDEFEATED HE IS! Or is it UNBEATEN? "UNPINNEDorSUBMITTED" is too much a mouthful.
Rusev wins: even money. SHOULD be higher. SHOULD be the favorite. But if you spend time to read this then you're probably also aware of "LOLCenaWins".
Cena wins: +400. Only one of these instances that makes no sense, and I refuse to even THINK it a possibility. These two dance through mania and Extreme Rules. Hopefully they realize the error in how they booked Cena/Wyatt last year and figure out a more compelling way to do this feud and hopefully make Rusev a bigger and better star coming out of it.
Prop Bets of the Match:
Cena sexually harasses Lana: Yes -500. No +500.
Rusev Stubs his toes and forever goes to wearing boots: No -200. Yes: Off the board.
Over/Under Lana's skirt: 7.5 inches.
Reigns won the Rumble… we know how that went. The Authority came out setting up an elaborate plot to try to get Reigns out of Mania and Seth Rollins IN. Though a certain bearded YES!-ing former champ who never LOST his Championship had a gripe. So they set it up. Rollins vs. Bryan to face Reigns at Fastlane. Which will be for a shot at the Beast Incarnate. So they set off down this path. Rumors circulate about Bryan getting Reigns' spot due to the crowd's reaction to Roman. As well as them making it a triple threat. Feud stumbled a bit out of the gate, but I think the last 2 shows have been spectacular for both of these guys and this story. I dislike a "Super Team" burying the entire tag division, BUT… if you're going to do it? Do it how you did it on Smackdown. With animosity and drama. Both guys shining. Both guys kinda being douches. It boiled down to a giant pissing contest. Which was well done. They're competitors. There is begrudging respect, but also they can go to pretty violent hatred at the drop of a hat… as we saw on the Raw closing brawl. The story from Smackdown to Raw really sold me on this match outside of "I think it'll be a good match between these two guys", but it got more personal. There are layers to both stories here, and each guy played up their role excellently. I'm very excited for the match between these two. Its a damn good dress rehearsal for Reigns, no matter what the plans are for the match. This is what they could have done with him during his injury hiatus. We already KNOW Bryan can carry his weight in a big match like this. Again the contrast of styles intrigues me. Vegas again gives us multiple options for this one outside of "win and loss".
Reigns Wins: -200. Rumored to be the plan for a long time. This feud and match could be a good way to get us back to where they wanted to be, and gave them a Main Event for a Lesnar Free Pay Per View.
PIER SIX CHAOS!/Double DQ/DOUBLE COUNT OUT: Even Money. Some sort insanity erupts which would lead to a triple threat. Now.. .I think the other Main Event ends up impacting this. If Vegas was wise they'd close the lines before Rusev/Cena is finished. Because if that goes Double Count out/DQ or No Contest Route? We'll get a winner here.
Bryan Wins: +500. Big underdog. Much like Daniel Bryan himself. No one is on the "Bryan takes the spot all by himself" bandwagon. If Bryan Main Events another Mania? Its going to be some shenanigans, or perhaps he flexes his rematch clause… NOT because he wins here.
Prop Bets of the Match
Over/Under 67.5 kicks from Daniel Bryan.
Will Daniel Bryan break his shin on Roman Reigns chest? NO: -350. YES!YES!YES! +250 (see what I did there?… clearly this would happen because Roman would be wearing HIS chest protector:)
After the Bell Rings: Crazy Hockey Brawl: -300. Intense Stare down of DOOOOM!: Even Money. Decide the match with Rock Paper Scissors: +50000
Roman Reigns Uses the Rock Bottom. No: -200. Yes: +300.
Finally a bonus "prop bet", so to speak. On a match that could be added if Sting and HHH don't take up 30 minutes… so good chance these matches don't see the light of day! oh yeah for those tuning in to see Sting.
Sting and HHH Face-off Prop Bets:
Over/Under: 24 minutes.
Use of the word Franchise: Over/Under 4.5.
What Move gets Hit: Pedigree: -350. Scorpion Deathdrop: +100.
Happy? … … … Back to the matches:
Most likely to be added to the show: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler -250. Goldust vs. Stardust +100. The Ascension vs. Prime Time Players +200. Miz vs. Mizdow + 500.
Vegas favorites for hypothetical matches OF COURSE they do that… why wouldn't they? – Rollins, Stardust, The Ascension, and Miz.
There you have it Ladies and Gents. Reminder the Over/Under is for entertainment and informational and educational and vocational purposes only. We here at Cheap-Heat really do not condone the act of gambling on Pro-Wrestling, because bookies who take action on WWE have more creative forms of physical punishment for deadbeats! Enjoy Fastlane!
