The WWE Network….
Quite possibly the greatest idea ever thought by man and or god. In theory. And I will say I fully expect all the glitches and problems to be worked out before WrestleMania XXX (oh my god they better). В They have basically all the resources humanly possible to make everything work and run smoothly. So I know that in time, everything will be hunky dory. But… BUT… for right now, at the present, this is far from the case.
Where to begin? Jeez… lets see… How about from the beginning. В 9 a.m. Monday morning. Launch day. First issue arrises. I cannot pay for the service. The website keeps telling me that the page I am trying to reach does not exist. Funny, I clicked submit after filling in my credit card info. В Seems like a pretty important page to have in your database. So the only logical thing to do is try again. No luck. So I try again… No luck. This happens an uncountable amount of times before I finally give up and start working for a little bit. В Strike One.
Fast Forward to after lunch. В Probably 1 p.m ish.
Let’s try this again. Connect to WWE.com. Follow the advertisements for the WWE Network, now we are back to trying to sign up for a subscription to their service. Key word there… TRYING. В So here we go again, credit card information is in, let’s click submit and get this puppy fired up… and fail. The page you are trying to reach cannot be found. В Okay, let’s try again. Nope. Again? Nope. So now what? I see a help number at the bottom of the page, why not give that a try.
So now I am on the phone with WWE Network Customer Service Center. Sounds hopeful so far, They played Mr. Perfect’s theme song while I was on hold. That right there has made me forgive them for earlier troubles. Still holding. Another theme song. Not as awesome as Mr. Perfect’s but okay, I see where this is going. Still holding. I’m 12 minutes into being on hold, that’s to be expected on launch day. Still holding. Some commercials for WWE Network programming, that’s kind of a slap in the face don’t you think? Still holding. Not happy. 15 minutes in… phone clicks like I am going to an operator. Here comes an automated voice, the voice says to me “Thank for you calling. В Good bye” Then I am hung up on. Busy signal noise. NOT. HAPPY.
So now what? Screw it, let’s try this again. Dialing. Manipulating myself through the menu. Okay, here we go. Mr. Perfect’s theme song again. Okay, I get it. I see where this is going. Still holding, song breaking up now to where it isn’t even recognizable. Still holding. Commercial for Original WWE Network Programming. Wow, okay you patronizing bastards, I get it. Still holding. More crackling and broken music that I can’t make out. Still holding. 14 minutes in. Another commercial. More music. “Thank you for calling, good bye.”
And now I am beyond furious.
What does a man do now? All I have wanted to do all day is watch Starrcade ’92. Is that too much to ask? I mean seriously.
Okay, dammit… let’s try this calling crap one more time. Dialing. Okay, here’s that stupid menu again. Numbers, Yes. Numbers. Holding. Then, to my surprise, literally I was shocked and said “oh holy shit, what the hell?” When almost instantly a WWE Network Customer Service Representative is speaking to me, apologizing for the long hold time.
She speaks perfect English, no accent. So to comment on the Rumors of where the WWE Network Customer Service Center is located, I am assuming somewhere in the U.S.
But I am getting sidetracked… So, the woman I spoke with was very helpful, she got me signed up and logged into the Home page of the WWE Network on my PS3. So happy, I cannot put the joy into words. В I thank the kind lady for all her help, she thanks me, again apologizes, and we part ways.
So now, I have the WWE Network at the my finger tips. The library is in front of me, I see what is playing on the live channel, Beyond the Ring. I’m thrilled. I am beside myself with excitement. I felt like a kid again. So where first? Like I said before, a man just wants to watch Starrcade ’92 sometimes, so thats where I go. I pull the show up, I click play. Error. Okay, lets try again. Play. And here we go, Parental warnings, freeze. 1 minute later, we are playing again. Here comes the opening video… freeze. 2 minutes later, we are streaming again. 10 seconds later, we are frozen again. LAG. LAG. LAG. PAUSE. HICCUP. Play. 10 seconds of video. LAG LAG LAG HICCUP PAUSE. 3 minutes later… good bye, kicked back to the home page.
So.. what do I do now? Exactly what you would do, or did, we try that sumbitch again. Find the PPV, click play. And to save us both a lot of repetitive nonsense, just read the above paragraph over again, pretend it was the second attempt. Then, because I don’t learn my lesson the first two times, go back and read it again, and pretend it is the third attempt. Do it, because thats what really happened, but repeat that two more times, or keep going, because I lost count honestly. So now I give up. I’m done with the ondemand, that crap isn’t going to work. Strike two or whatever.
Back to the home page. Where to go now? Well Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels behind the story or whatever it was called is still on the Live Channel. В Click, play. Why not. В And now I’m watching streaming video. No hiccups. Perfect stream, for the REMAINDER OF THE DAY AND NIGHT. But no ondemand.
Fast forward through 3 days of Live Channel only, with unwatchable ondemand do to all the glitches and lag issues. And on the 4th day, god or whoever, said LET THERE BE ONDEMAND FOR YOUR WWE NETWORK VIEWING PLEASURE. And we are off to the races. PPV after PPV was watched, Live Channel shows, More PPV’s from my childhood watched. I am loving this. Absolutely loving this.
Now it’s Thursday Feb.27th. I’ve bought into the NXT Hype, I am ready to watch some of the wrestlers В I have met and or worked with over the years, perform on the main stage. WWE Network works perfect all day. 8 pm rolls around. Live Channel time, NXT ArRIVAL here we come!
Everything was going GREAT, better than great. Like SUPER GREAT. That is until Tyler Breeze makes his way to the ring…
LAG. PAUSE. HICCUP. Kicked out, back to the home page. Okay, that sucked, time to log back in. So I log in, click live channel, play now. and now the match is going on, sweet. PAUSE. LAG. HICCUP. PAAAUUUUUUSE. Kicked back out to the home page. Alright, I see a pattern forming, but lets not trying this one more time, no let’s try this 25 or more times, being able to see 5 seconds of live footage, before seeing Tyler Breeze enter the ring again, PAUSE LAG LAG PAUSE HICCUP, and booted back out to the home page. 25 times I tried to get back in to see the ladder match main event. Well, the shows over now…. MAJOR FAIL. Strike 3 at least…
Well, now I have to post the results of the show, for you readers, my friends if you will, so that those of you who couldn’t see the show (like myself actually, grrrrr) can stay up to date, and know the outcome. Now I know the finish. Great. Screw you Triple H, thanks for ruining my Thursday Night. I could have been watching Impact, no like. #TrueStory.
Well, I gave up. I watch regular Television. That gets old quick. So I decide to try again, to watch the replay of ArRIVAL. Log in. Home page. Play. View now. Luckily for me, I am almost caught up to where I lost my feed during the Live broadcast.
I am going to take a small break to review NXT’s ArRIVAL, because it deserves my praising.
– NXT ArRIVAL, from top to bottom was one of the best wrestling shows I have watched on TV in a very long time. The opening match featuring Cesaro and Sami Zayn, was with out a doubt another match of the year candidate. And the NXT Womens Title Match, was easily, and I mean EASILY the best DIVAS match I have seen in over 10 years. Absolutely Amazing. To steal a quote from a friend of mine, and soon to be a Blogger of this very site, Gregory Iron, “Not only are Emma & Paige gorgeous, but they’re good wrestlers. We haven’t seen this in WWE in 10 years. Go figure:They ain’t American.” В Amazing match. 5 stars. Main Event, Ladder Match for the NXT Title… holy crap. That was awesome. Unreal. That is how you do a 2 hour wrestling program. CUDDOS to you guys at NXT. Keep up the good work.
Now back to my WWE Network experience…
I felt robbed of the Live experience, but was able to watch what I missed only an hour after my feed dumped out on me. And now of course the Live Channel, and Ondemand features are both working smoothly without any hiccups and problems.
So where does this leave me? Am I bitter? Nah. Was I mad? Yeah kinda. But more annoyed than anything else. Am I satisfied with my purchase of the WWE Network? Absolutely. Without a doubt. This is by far the best investment I have ever made. I have all the confidence in the world that all these glitches and issues will be resolved soon. So, to summarize, Screw you Triple H. But I forgive you.
TAKE ALL MY MONEY VINCE TAKE IT ALL!
Buy the WWE Network if you are a wrestling fan. You won’t be sorry. Just be patient, and don’t freak out if you have issues, they’re working on it, I SWEAR.
