From the east to the west, we're talking the worst and the best from Lucha Underground. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and if you're reading these words then you've found the NUMBER ONE Lucha Underground review in the entire world. How do I know that to be true? This is wrestling—where hyperbole is law. Just ask John Cena and Kevin Owens, who are going one on one this weekend in the "most anticipated rematch in wrestling history." Really? Okay! So yes—welcome to the number one, greatest, most in-depth discussion of Lucha Underground on the planet. Agreed? Disagree? Comment here and TWEET there . As for now, let's kick things off with another excellent installment of Lucha Libre competition.
This week's episode kicks into action the same as every episode—with a quick replay of what went down on recent episodes. This time there's a heavy emphasis placed on Black Lotus and Drago, both of whom have fallen victim to the treacherous ire of Dario Cueto. The musical act inside the Temple is still Los Rayobacks, who bring with them a more contemporary sound, compared to previous performers such as Amandititita or the Orkestra. Vampiro takes a moment to apologize to both Matt Striker and the audience for letting his emotions get the better of him toward the end of last week's show. For those who might not have seen, Vampiro hit the ring for the first time since debuting on Lucha Underground, in an effort to save Sexy Star from the merciless clutches of Pentagon Jr. Striker commends Vampiro for his actions, but Vamp continues to play-it-humble, expressing dissatisfaction with himself: "I'm a broadcaster, and that's where it needs to stay." Inside the squared circle stands Dario Cueto, who announces an event set eight weeks in the future called "Ultima Lucha." Or Ultimate Lucha. I'm not really sure—what with the accent. Dario says that this will be a yearly event, featuring the biggest fights and the most amazing matches. "But what will be the main event," Dario asked rhetorically? "That we will decide tonight!" Tonight's show will feature action designed to determine the number one contender to the Lucha Underground title currently held by Prince Puma. Dario says that he has invited every man that has challenged for Prince Puma's championship in the past, to try their luck in a triple threat match. Those men include: Hernandez, King Cuerno, and Brian Cage. Fenix isn't included because, as Dario says, "Mil Muertes sent Fenix to an early grave." Following Dario's announcement, Blue Demon Jr. makes a surprise appearance, and is referred to as the very first luchador to perform inside the Lucha Underground Temple. Demon enters the ring wearing a suit, looking to get involved in Ultima Lucha. Cueto says that he would be happy to give Demon his chance, but first he must prove himself against another returning Lucha legend, in Chavo Guerrero Jr. Chavo comes down to ringside accompanied by the Crew, and enters the ring looking for a fight.
The opening contest on tonight's card is a one-on-one encounter between Chavo and Blue Demon, and is a no disqualification match with a hefty prize on the line. Demon is forced to compete in his street clothes, against Guerrero who comes prepared to wrestle. Dario said "anything goes," and that is more than enough incentive for the Crew to become involved with the proceedings of the bout. After a short bit of back and forth, including an expert baseball slide to the outside by Demon, the numbers game became too much for the legend to contend with. The Crew not only entered the match, but also the ring, and proceeded to help Chavo get the victory in just a matter of moments. Chavito, as his Aunt Vickie would call him, pulled out the win following a frog splash made possible by Mr. Cisco, Cortez Castro, and Bael.
Before we head into commercial, there's a quick vignette featuring Drago as he emerges from the flames that encompassed him upon his exit from the Lucha Temple two months ago. Once we return, Chavo Guerrero is in the depths of the Temple, standing across from Black Lotus's cell. There aren't a whole lot of basements in Southern California, so I wonder where this makeshift prison is located exactly. Chavo tells Lotus that he's sorry, but business is business. Lotus accuses him of betraying Dragon Azteca, her master and trainer, and promises that Chavo will receive what's coming to him south of the border. Dario walks around a corner in the backstage area, and stops to straighten his attire in front of a scratched-up mirror. Cueto sees a mysterious reflection and turns to see Drago standing before him. The demon that was cast away from the Temple is back, and demands to be included in the fight for Ultima Lucha. Dario tells Drago that he was banished from the Temple, which seems to register with the more understanding side of Drago. "Let me fight," he protested at the top of his lungs! "The mighty Drago has found a loop hole," Cueto said, walking toward the former Temple mainstay. "Okay Drago, you're in the match tonight. On one condition: you must win it. Because if you don't, not only will you still be banished from my Temple—you will be forced to leave your mask behind."
Up next is a trios matchup featuring the in-ring debut of the "Disciples of Death," the masked men who accompanied Catrina to ringside during Mil Muertes' triumphant return to television. Their opponents are the colorful team comprised of Mascarita Sagrada, Pimpenela Escarlata and Bengala. Pimpenela dances around the ring like a true exotico, which seems to confuse the first of the Disciples. Matt Striker gave each of the masked men an individual designation, but I can't yet keep up with who is who, and for my money, neither can you. This is a really fun trios match between two midlevel teams competing for the adoration of the audience. Catrina remains at ringside, and seems to have some sort of unspoken control over the Disciples, just the same as she does with Mil Muertes. All three Disciples of Death teamed up on each of their opponents one by one until not a single Lucha star was standing. They picked up the victory over their opponents following a slew of highly impressive triple team maneuvers; both Bengala and Sagrada were sent spiraling to the outside, which is when Catrina licked Pimpenela Escarlata, signifying the end was near. The Disciples of Death put the exotico up in a three man crucifix powerbomb combination, earning the Disciples their first official win inside the Temple.
We head into a commercial and once we return, Dario is done wandering around the Temple, and is instead sitting inside his office. Johnny Mundo barges in, demanding to know why he wasn't included in the number one contender's match. Johnny says that if anybody deserves a shot at the championship, it's him. "No, not this time," Dario began. "I expect you to be champion at Ultima Lucha. Please, sit down." Johnny sat down before Dario and the two continued talking about what may lie ahead for the former Tuesday Night Delight. "I'm not one to hold grudges. So what, you gave me a black eye, who cares? I look good in sunglasses," Dario assured Johnny that when he suggested starting off anew, he meant it. "You are truly the future of Lucha Underground, which is why I want to see this new Johnny unleashed on Prince Puma. You think you're better than Prince Puma? Well, I'm going to let you prove that to the world next week, in a concept never seen before. It's going to be Prince Puma versus Johnny Mundo for an hour long!" Dario announces an IRON MAN MATCH for the Lucha Underground Championship on next week's episode.
Up next is the main event fatal four way contest, set to determine the number one contender to the Lucha Underground Championship. The first contestant to arrive is Brian Cage, followed by King Cuero, Hernandez, and finally Drago. One has to wonder how many backstage segments the studio audience is privy to, and whether or not they knew that Drago would return. Things get started with King Cuero and Drago squaring off, all while Cage and Hernandez bring their portion of the contest to the outside. Matt Striker points out that this match will consist of two very differing styles; Hernandez and Cage are both powerhouse competitors, while Drago and Cuerno adhere to a more high flying philosophy. Hernandez returns to the ring and mixes it up with King Cuerno, but Cage is quick to reenter the match, and seeks to further punish Hernandez. All four men make use of their surroundings to benefit the pace of the match, whether that be the ring ropes or even another participant! Cage teams with Cuerno, Cage teams with Drago, Drago teams with Hernandez—everybody is everybody's partner, but at the same time, nobody is safe! This is a very fast paced match that's admittedly difficult to keep up with from A-to-B, but I'm giving it my best shot. I have no idea how I'm going to write one 2000-word column about a fucking Iron Man Match between John Morrison and Ricochet, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Hernandez is incredibly out of place, compared to his 20-something contemporaries inside the ring. Although everybody is impressive to some degree or another, it's Drago and King Cuerno who prove to be specific highlights for this wrestling pundit, personally. Mid-way through this match, we see Killshot standing on top of Dario's office, staring ahead and watching the competition. Very strange—Killshot? Really? Cage and King Cuerno are working in perfect tandem, and proving to be a formidable obstacle to both of their opponents. But they too must turn on one another, and this match continues to come undone with no real designated favorite. The fans chant for Drago and Cuerno, the only two men left inside the ring. Drago surprised Cuerno with a backslide, and hooked his leg from the opposite side, as to keep the King firmly connected to the canvas. Drago earned a three count, thus earning a championship title opportunity, as well as the chance to continue competing in the Lucha Underground Temple.
Following the match, Prince Puma made an unscheduled appearance, and entered the ring, where he stood across from Drago holding his world championship. Will Puma be the man to face Drago at Ultima Lucha, or will Johnny Mundo secure the strap after next week's one-hour iron man match? Before the show concludes, we return to Dario's office once more. El Jefe is peering out from behind his blinds, overlooking his empire as it continues to crumble. Catrina appears: "You made a mistake not putting Mil Muertes in that match." Dario politely explained that Mil Muertes has never faced Prince Puma for the world title. "That is precisely why Prince Puma is still champion," Catrina said, standing from her seated position behind Dario's desk. "Mil Muertes destroys everything that stands in his way, so tell me, why are you in his way?" Catrina proceeded to choke Dario with his own tie, until he agreed to give Mil a shot against Drago in two weeks. The winner will be the number one contender, and will face Prince Puma at Ultima Lucha.
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