Viva La Lucha Libre
Lucha Underground 2/4/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
Only one month into an electrifying calendar, and the stars inside the Boyle Heights Temple are already delivering "Match of the Year" caliber contests. Welcome back to the most analytical examination of what is quickly becoming the most exciting hour in professional wrestling in America—Lucha Underground! We're here with another in-depth breakdown of everything going on courtesy of AAA, Mark Burnett, and the El Rey Network. Last week's show was one of the more slower-paced episodes since �Underground debuted in the autumn of 2014, but that's not to say it didn't create buzz over events still yet to unfold. This week continued building toward a larger story but introduced various elements formerly unknown to the television viewers, so let's get right into it with the opening contest—this is "Viva La Lucha Libre!"
The �Faithful' inside the Temple are on fire, rocking to the rhythm of the house band now-known as Mariachi El Bronx. Sitting ringside as usual are Matt Striker and Vampiro who is wearing the coolest jacket—well, the coolest jacket Vampiro's ever worn. The action inside the ring is immediately underway with the introduction of Son of Havok and Ivelisse. Both individuals competed in the Aztec Warfare battle royal for the Lucha Underground title, but neither has been seen on El Rey since. The crowd isn't shy when it comes to telling Havok how they feel about him, chanting "loser" over and over until Ivelisse had enough. "I am tired of reading all the tweets on social media about Son of Havok saying that he sucks," she began, "Let me tell you something: I don't date losers. A'ight? If you have a problem with him, then you have a problem with me too—the baddest bitch in the building!" Havok's opponent in this opening contest is the exhilarating sensation from South Africa known as Angelico. He makes his way to ring side with a spring in his step, representing Lucha Underground to the fullest with his black Lucha t-shirt. The match was off and running and within a few moments of back and forth interaction, Havok gained the lead and even the support of the fans. Through a varied course of high adrenaline offense including a sit-down face buster and a litany of aerial maneuvers, Havok turned the tide and had no problem going hold-for-hold with the fan-favorite Angelico. The end came however, when a series of precarious close-calls involving Ivelisse ended with Son of Havok inadvertently spearing his girlfriend off of the apron. It was just a matter of rolling the masked rudo into a pinning predicament before Angelico walked away with the 1-2-3.
Back from the commercial and the number one non-wrestling personality in sports entertainment, Dario Cueto, is on hand offering an olive branch to a once despised rival. "Welcome back, I haven't seen you since Aztec Warfare." Across from Cueto was Johnny Mundo, inside the Temple again and ready for battle. "I know we've had our issues in the past," Cueto continued, "But since you've been gone, we've both had time to cool off." Dario is a business man who can recognize a good opportunity when it's sitting in front of him, and therefore requests another "5-star match" from Mundo, this time against Cage. "You mean that �ham-bone' that tore apart your title belt," questioned Johnny? "You better get a new one." Matt Striker and Vampiro are still sizzling from the first match-up, and are preparing to introduce Famous B—a Southern California local who is fixing to square off against one of the most fearsome competitors in Lucha Underground, Pentagon Jr. Before the match can get started, a vignette rolls once again highlighting the intricacies of Pentagon as well as his dedication to martial arts: "Look into my eyes! I am Pentagon Jr. No fear!" The match lasts only moments before B succumbs to the incredibly tactile technique of Pentagon, who sets his opponent up for defeat with a vicious spike package pile driver. Once B's skull hit the canvas he was completely knocked out, awakened only by the excruciating agony inflicted by Pentagon, who ended the encounter by ignoring the official and snapping the arm of Famous B.
Deep in the darkened �dungeons' beneath the Temple, Cueto sits solemnly staring into a cell. "The news of this temple and what we are doing here is spreading." Cueto toyed with the mysterious key dangling around his neck, "Such a shame you can't enjoy it with me." The question as to what lock the key might open has been answered, but to whom is Cueto speaking? Another mysterious reveal suggests that the unnamed Asian woman who accosted Dario last week is looking for whoever—or whatever is trapped in the bowels of the Boyle Heights building. The allure of Lucha Libre continues as two babyface competitors take to the ring in a true test of "good" versus "evil." Aerostar is dressed in white, and according to Matt Striker represents the "Heavens" in this metaphorical battle against Drago—a supernatural superstar said to be from the Depths of Hell. Drago's hard-hitting ground game and Aerostar's high-flying airborne assault prove to be complimentary components as this contest roars on with very few moments to rest. The formidable Drago walks away with a win after outwitting the younger tecnico , but neither man leaves the ringside area until they shake hands and hold their arms high in a sign of mutual respect. Backstage before the main event can begin, Fenix is hard at work applying his strongest strikes to the dusty old Everlast bag, perhaps in an effort to hone his greater assets in preparation for his next world title battle. Catrina comes out of the shadows, with Mil Muertes nowhere in sight. She touched the tattoo on Fenix's chest, an artistic rendering of a dream-catcher. "Does this protect you from nightmares," Catrina asked? Before Fenix could respond, she kissed him, deeply and passionately with a final warning, not to let Mil find out: "He'll bury us both alive."
Up next is the main event, an impromptu grudge match having nothing to do with the sort of respect we saw a few moments ago, and everything to do with rising to the top of the Lucha Underground roster: Johnny Mundo is set to go one-on-one with Cage. As the Machine walked to the ring, he wore the tattered remains of the Lucha Underground title around his neck, laughing and taunting the Temple Faithful as he sauntered into the squared-circle. The match was rather even, with a slight edge going to Mundo in the early going until a powerbomb on the outside rendered the former Shaman of Sexy motionless. Vampiro picked this close call alongside the stairs to point out the danger in wrestling so close to the steel steps: "Did you know if you fell and hit your head on those steps you could DIE ?" It was at this time that King Cuerno made his presence known, if only to the television audience, when he began watching from within the rafters. Back inside the ring, Cage's domination continued with an enormity of powerful offense as well as unpredictable agility including a springboard moonsault to a downed Johnny Mundo. An Irish whip sends Johnny into the corner, but a leap-frog hoists him up and over the head of Cage, where he's unfortunately caught in a modified Alabama-jam. The back and forth is intensifying as Mundo attempts his patented "Starship Pain" to no avail, but lands on his feet and soars across the turnbuckle to Cage on the outside. The match ended by disqualification when King Cuerno finished stalking and began to hunt; he struck near the ringside area when he tripped Mundo and knocked him off the apron. Cuerno's assault continued after the bell, attacking Johnny's left leg with a steel chair and the merciless metal turnbuckle post. When all was said and done, Dario Cueto exited his office and restarted the match: "Hold on Johnny! Now that we're friends, I can't let your 5-star matches end like that!" Cage re-entered the equation and proceeded to systematically dissect Johnny Mundo, beginning with his already injured leg. "Is Dario Cueto being a dick," asked Vampiro, who couldn't comprehend why this contest was still going on. Cage finalized the destruction with a Gory Special into a flat-liner, earning himself another victory.
The show was over and just like always, Matt Striker and Vampiro wished the viewers a wonderful week and thanked them for their continued patronage of the El Rey Network. But instead of fading to black and a Mark Burnett logo, the cameras went back inside Dario's office, where a knock at the door startled the promotor. "Show's over," he yelled, attempting to scare away whomever may be bothering him. But rather than another knock, a voice echoed through the doorway, "Oh no, we're just getting started." Dario turned and stood face-to-face with a world-renowned heavyweight champion from AAA and WWE: "My name is Alberto El Patron," he said with a smile, "But you already knew that."
The unexpected arrival of Alberto El Patron was a perfectly valid reason to fast forward through the show, but why would you want to miss an entire hour jam-packed with the most consistent professional wrestling on the planet? What might we expect to see inside the Temple as 2015 continues to unravel in new and exciting ways? Who is Pentagon's master now that he's seen Chavo Guerrero for what he truly is? Will a new belt be bestowed upon Prince Puma, or will Cage's torn title be the symbol of Lucha Underground? And who the hell does Dario Cueto have locked away in the Temple? Hopefully we'll get the answers, plus a dozen more questions this time next week with another exciting installment of "Viva La Lucha Libre!"
