Viva La Lucha Libre
Lucha Underground 3/4/15
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
If it seems as though I took a week off from my regular reviews, you're not going crazy, I did in fact take a break from the wrestling scene in an effort to refocus my creative efforts. I'm pleased to report that I'm back and prepared for another exciting installment of "Viva La Lucha Libre." The Luchador landscape is changing by the week as new challengers present themselves at every turn. Tonight's episode of Lucha Underground featured the long-awaited American showdown between El Texano Jr. and former WWE champion, Alberto El Patron. Let's dive directly into the fascinating fast-paced world of Mexican wrestling with the opening segment…
This episode begins with a montage of events from previous weeks, and fades into Dario Cueto’s office. The door with Dario’s name is dirty, but inside his office is the world renowned Alberto El Patron. Patron is standing across from Cueto who is sitting at his desk, gushing over Alberto’s ring debut this evening. Cueto says that he’s happy to finally see Alberto perform inside his sacred Temple, leading the AAA Champion to question who his first opponent might be. Cueto says that Patron needs a warm up and suggests he goes one-on-one with Famous B. Patron wants nothing to do with an enhancement match and demands a match against his rival. Cueto then says he needs at least two weeks to promote such an attraction, and says, “How about Alberto El Patron versus El Hijo de Havoc?” Patron grew even angrier and wiped Dario’s desk clean of all knickknacks and paperwork. Without nearly as much apprehension, Cueto finally agreed and gave Patron what he wanted–a match against El Texano Jr. Inside the Temple, Matt Striker and Vampiro welcome the audience at home to another thrilling hour of excitement, and introduce the world to the new house musician, “Amandititita.” The commentators hype the main event between Patron and Texano with colorful clips of either man standing in the back hallway preparing for battle. The spotlight shines down on ring announcer Melissa Santos who gets ready to introduce the opening contest.
The first match is a one-on-one bout between the aggressive Mil Muertes and his arch rival Fénix. Mil is now flying solo en route to the ring, as his former valet Catrina has made her choice to align with Fénix. The action begins immediately as Fénix descends the staircase toward the ringside area. Muertes evacuates the ring to meet his smaller statured opponent head-on, but is ultimately caught off guard by a flying hurricanrana from the sixth step. Muertes gains control with a series of powerful strikes but is taking off his game with a highly effective super kick courtesy of Fénix. The action spills into the ring where the match is finally underway; Phoenix springs toward the downed Muertes from the top rope with an Alabama Jam leg drop. Fénix continued his dominance over the monstrous Muertes, but soon succumbed to the sadistic brutality of Mil. Since day one of Lucha Underground I’ve had my reservations about Mil Muertes; I never enjoyed his work in TNA nor down in Mexico and never expected Ricky Banderes to click—but he has! A swinging reverse neck breaker from Muertes, similar to a Diamond Cutter, and suddenly Fénix was the one flat on his back. The audience in the Temple is supportive of both competitors, with a slight edge going to the consummate babyface, Fénix. According to Vampiro, Fénix is the only member of the Lucha Underground roster to own a victory over the diabolical masked Mil. Suddenly, a light cast down from the ceiling centered at the top of the staircase where Catrina made her surprise appearance. Although certainly distracting, this didn’t throw Mil off his game as it did in weeks prior and continued to break down the fan favorite Fénix. Catrina paced about the ringside area holding the seemingly sacred piece of cloth that Muertes appears to value. Fénix gains the upper hand with a twirling leap over the top rope, causing the audience to go absolutely insane, cheering for the match above any particular individual. Mil continues fighting his way back; the clash of styles between the brutish super heavyweight and the flashy highflyer is incredible, leading one to wonder who exactly has the advantage. Fénix climbed the ropes in an effort to end the match and earn a second pin fall over Mil Muertes, but was instead caught by a heinous uppercut and a top rope Code Breaker. Instead of pinning Fénix, Muertes goozled the mask superstar while staring daggers through Catrina on the outside. He hit him with the dreaded Flat Liner and walked away with yet another win. Following the bell, he summoned his former valet to the ring where he once again ordered her to lick the face of his fallen opponent. Upon denying his request, Catrina was dragged over the ropes and into the ring, but was once again saved by the heroic Fénix. After Fénix finished his foe, Catrina proceeded to apply the “lick of death” to Mil Muertes himself.
Back from break and Konnan is standing in the rain, in what is perhaps the most beautifully-framed shot since this show has hit the air, and that’s saying something. There are clips from his heated altercation with the “Machine” Cage several weeks ago, spliced with phrases such as “Appear weak when you are strong.” Dario must be keeping regular office hours this evening as another Luchador is seeking a main event spot from the petulant promotor, but this time it’s the beautiful-yet-brutal Ivelisse. She says she deserves a championship opportunity since she’s been triumphant twice in as many weeks. Regardless of whether Angelico is a mid-carder or not, her decisive victories over the South African sensation were highly impressive, and could in fact warrant some sort of reward. She starts to go off again about how she’s the “baddest bitch in the building” and Dario comically interrupts, “I know, I know—I got your calls and texts and emails.” Dario says that she only beat Angelico because Son of Havoc became involved; next week Ivelisse will have a rematch with Angelico, and to ensure that Havoc doesn’t interrupt, he will be the special guest referee. This is all very interesting as spoilers dictate that these three wrestlers will capture the inaugural Lucha Underground Trios belts in just a matter of weeks.
The Lucha Underground Champion Prince Puma is attacking the bag backstage when Alberto El Patron rolls up with encouraging words. “That’s right brother! That’s right,” he began. “I don’t know what Konnan told you to motivate you—what I do know is that if you want to survive, you’re going to have to man up. Because next time you see Cage, you have to make sure you let all that aggression out, amigo. Because you’re not going to need it.” Patron started to back away, but left Puma with the following warning: “If I were you, I would pay close attention to my match tonight. Because if you keep that title, you know I’m coming for it after.” The action is set to continue inside the squared-circle with inter gender competition featuring the dynamic Sexy Star and the returning Big Ryck. According to Melissa Santos, the winner of this match will get a 3-on-1 opportunity against the Crew—is that a prize? Big Ryck is now wearing an eye patch over his right eye, thanks to the diabolical actions of his former allies, the Crew. Sexy Star makes her way to the ring along with an uproarious ovation from the Boyle Heights fans. The crowd chants, “She’s so sexy,” although everyone inside the Temple knows what this incredible woman is capable of between the ropes. Big Ryck immediately warns Sexy that she should probably just lay down and accept the defeat, to which Sexy begins attempting to chop down the tree-sized super heavyweight. Although Ryck has been commonly featured as a heel for the majority of his career, he’s beginning to turn a corner into “Tweener Territory,” where he may be rough and unapologetic as long as he maintains a glimmer of decency. Even though Ryck needs to win so that he may finally exact his revenge on the Crew, he isn’t willing to completely obliterate a female competitor to do so. When the final fall occurred, it was after Ryck gingerly placed Sexy Star on the mat, and held her shoulders for the 1-2-3. He immediately relinquished the pressure when the bell sounded, which is when the Crew decided to strike. Cortez Castro, Mr. Cisco and Bael emerged on the scene to attack Ryck, but didn’t count on Sexy sticking around to help even the odds. The Crew tried to break Ryck’s arm with their signature kendo stick, but the Guyanese powerhouse turned the tide and vanquished all three before they could finish the job.
The main event is finally here, and regardless of who wears the AAA Mega heavyweight title, Albert El Patron is the first to be introduced. An outstanding video package plays before Texano may enter, highlighting Patron’s journey from Dos Caras Jr. to an American household name. El Texano Jr. arrives to a litany of heat from the audience, as he prepares to engage the man who ended his 735-day championship reign. The bell sounds and both competitors immediately tie up, with senior referee Marty Elias calling the action. Patron begins each of his matches wearing a T-shirt, and after the first set of spots, disrobes and throws it to the crowd. Both Texano and Patron work much differently than the rest of the Lucha Underground roster and employ a style similar to any mainstream American product. Off the ropes and back again, each wrestler uses a series of headlocks and rest holds before this bout can truly get underway. Despite taking enormous bumps, neither man sells for the other out of pride, which helps promote this rivalry as a true catch-as-catch-can contest. Texano heads to the outside after a big hip toss from Patron, and beckons the current champion to join him. Alberto chases Texano around the squared-circle and back inside, where the 30-year old rudo was able to catch him off guard. More than five minutes in and Patron still has yet to remove his sleeveless T-shirt. Although nobody expected to see any high flying offense from either individual, Patron surprised the Temple audience and brought them to their feet with a crisp suicide dive to the outside. Texano fights back and goes for a big move off the top rope that comes up short, grounding both competitors until they reach their feet and begin exchanging heavy right hands. Vampiro reminds the audience at home that there’s over five hundred-pounds of talent in the ring right now, which might not sound like a lot to a WWE Universe fan, but dwarfs the average Luchador duo by almost two hundred-pounds. Texano planted Patron on the top turnbuckle in a reverse tree-of-whoa, and kicked him directly in the top of the head. He then crossed the ring to the opposing corner, where he began untying the turnbuckle pad. This was clearly a distraction-tactic, as Marty Elias sought to tie things back up, allowing Texano the chance to use his bull rope behind the referees back. Elias didn't see the rope, and therefore couldn't disqualify Texano. The despicable heel, now in complete control, attempted to suplex Patron from the top rope. Patron stopped him and instead hit the former-champion with a double-foot stomp. Alberto called for his signature submission, but Texano scouted the champion well-enough to catch him with a sit-down powerbomb. Texano was unable to get the pin, and opted to resort to his bull rope once again. Patron countered the attack and hit Texano with a tornado DDT. Alberto El Patron had Texano defeated but instead of going for the pin, took the rope and proceeded to beat Texano senseless. Marty Elias called for the bell, but Patron continued the assault with nearly a dozen strikes, including one to the face. Alberto walked tall to the sound of his own entrance music—regardless of who won the match Alberto El Patron won the day.
The past few weeks have been hit-or-miss for the generally positive Lucha Underground; the introduction of several outside personalities such as Patron and Texano were welcome surprises, but are now starting to occupy far too much time on TV. This week was more of the same but also presented numerous cues for what's to come in the near future. I imagine business will begin to pick up as we delve farther into the Spring as Lucha Underground is signed with El Rey through August, with plans to start touring as early as this summer. Next week Lucha Underground will present their first-ever cage match between Johnny Mundo and the "Hunter," King Cuerno. Until then, this has been Mark Adam Haggerty, reminding you to keep checking out Cheap-Heat and to follow me on Facebook by LIKING "Mark Haggerty's Pro Wrestling."
