It’s been another week of magic-making in the WWE as we inch ever closer to next weekend’s pay per view, and the last event of 2014—TLC… And Stairs. That’s rough. Before I begin, I want to make mention of Santino Marella as Guest General Manager. YES! A thousand times yes! I’m an outspoken proponent of casting wrestlers for a wrestling TV Shows. I like Seth Green, I like Hugh Jackman. Does anybody NOT like Betty White? But it’s the panderous nature of bringing in celebrities that tends to turn off die-hard wrestling fans. And when they’re turned off, they turn the product off. Santino seems perfect for this role as he reminds me a great deal of former Commissioners Foley and Regal. I’m sure this is a one-off occasion, but it would be nice to see Santino featured more often, especially in this sort of light. Now that we’ve covered that, let’s get to it. I’m here as always to tell you What’s COOKIN ‘ and What a Doesnt Matter!
The Intercontinental Low Blow
Wasn’t I just complaining about the way in which WWE begins each and every program with a monotonous half-hour of talking? As soon as the first note played and I heard the phrase, “I’m here to show the world,” I knew that Smackdown was answering my prayers and opening with a match and not a monologue. I’ve always been particularly fond of beginning a show with an undercard title match as a way to set the pace for things to come. In addition, I feel as though Luke Harper and Dolph Ziggler have perhaps the most compelling and competitive rivalry in the WWE today. When fantasy booking, people tend to match wrestlers based on style, size, and similarities. Harper and Ziggler on the other hand have virtually nothing in common, yet still manage to develop an undeniable chemistry. I enjoyed the back and forth between both men in this match and though I’ve been clamoring for a more traditional finish, I thought the low blow by Luke Harper was an interesting way to wrap things up. I would have liked to see Harper land just one of his incredible power bombs, but Dolph’s successful escape attempts could potentially serve as misdirection heading into TLC… And Stairs. I had an honest “mark-out-moment” when Harper dragged the steel ladder out from under the ring and was rewarded for my speculation by Santino’s announcement. If these two are able to thrill audiences for ten minutes at a time on Smackdown, I’m eager to see what they can accomplish in a ladder match.
“I Hate Christmas”
I can’t believe there isn’t a T-shirt that says, “You sold out.” The Remnants of the Authority is a fascinating collective of talents that was organically assembled over the entirety of 2014. The faction comprised of Seth Rollins, Big Show, Kane, Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble might seem like a strange ensemble of mismatched superstars, but looks can be deceiving. In all too many cases, whether it be in the WWE or elsewhere, workers are assigned to groups based on nothing more than a lacking in creative direction. But each member of the Remnant, as I’ve taken to calling it, has a valid reason for standing alongside his stablemates. Rollins has a opportunity in that he’s been designated the mouth piece of a group that is otherwise comprised of 20-year veterans and former world champions. The Big Show did a wonderful job of intimidating the crowd by smashing the steel steps together. He did not however explain how the match will work. I’m more than satisfied with the strategy to book Rollins against Cena. The obvious benefit of their program will be the elevation of Seth Rollins, but it could also help John Cena as well. Seth Rollins has managed to garner the sort of heel heat that was assumed to be all-but-extinct in this era of reality wrestling. Pitting the Doctor of Thuganomics against such a wretchedly despicable superstar could serve to sway the haters to join the Cenation, if only for one night.
“They Ain’t Ready!”
For as long as we’ve been waiting on The New Day to debut, they’ve more than lived up to the hype to my opinion. Their application of innovative cooperative techniques makes them a formidable trio of interchangeable tag team components. Should they ever win the WWE tag titles, I hope they implement the, “Freebird Rule,” which allows for any member of the team to compete for and defend the belts. While Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods appear to exude tandem excellence, their randomly-assembled opponents don’t seem to have anything in common at all. The combination of Tyson Kidd and Cesaro is a rather random assignment for two potential mega stars in the company. However as Michael Cole pointed out, citing JBL’s partnership with Ron Simmons, finding the right tag team partner can take a long time. Who knows? Ten years from now we could be looking back on a dozen tag team championship reigns saying, “Do you remember when Cesaro and Tyson were singles wrestlers?” This is probably the most interesting I’ve found Gold and Stardust since Cody Rhodes first donned the family face paint some months back, and I’m curious to see how the bizarre brothers can stack up next to such a synchronic stable as The New Day.
The Guerrilla Tactics Continue
I was pleased when the scheduled bout between Dean Ambrose and Rusev was cancelled. I didn’t understand the rationale, or lack thereof, behind booking Dean Ambrose against Rusev. We already knew that neither man is going to walk away with a pinfall victory, as it’s highly unlikely either superstar is going to be jobbed out to the other. Especially on Smackdown. I thought the entire segment went very well; Rusev continues to impress me on the mic and the intentionally misleading match almost made me forget about Bray Wyatt. The stretcher job was one of the better Kayfabe injury angles I can recall since the NWO’s backstage attack on WCW at MGM Studios in 1996. While I wasn’t sold on their rivalry heading into Survivor Series, I’m beginning to believe in their program thanks to what we’ve seen in the weeks that have followed their initial altercation. On a completely unrelated note: Does it seem to anyone else that the WWE is featuring Dr. Chris Amman a lot more than they use to? Or is it that we’re all so aware of him following the Punk interview, that he seems to appear more often? He’s getting right in the thick of things lately. Here’s a question for you: what happens if Jerry Lawler has another heart attack and the only doctor at ringside is up on the stage pretending to care for Dean Ambrose? Can’t they hire a fake doctor for the fake injuries? End of rant.
“Stay Away From My Wife!”
I thought the hard right-hand courtesy of Jimmy Uso this Monday was a stiff spot where neither Jimmy nor the Miz phoned anything in. I’m very excited to see the Uso’s engaged with individual storylines, even if it does relate to the overall tag team title situation. If you remember a few weeks back I begged the question, “How can identical twins become separate singles sensations?” Well this is the first step. I predict some sort of heel turn going forward, whether it be Jey or Naomi, I feel like somebody is going to turn on Jimmy due to his reactionary habits and inability to control his emotions. Maybe it’s Naomi who longs for Hollywood Stardom and sees the Miz as her ticket to the big league. If Jimmy allows his anger to blind him as to what’s important, AKA the tag team championship, his own twin brother could suffer the repurcussions and thus turn on Jimmy to save his own skin. A volatile situation to say the least with plenty of personalities, including one mirroring every one of the Miz’s movements.
Is AJ the new color commentator?
Is it not enough that I have to look at her every week? Now the WWE insists on enlisting the vocal services of AJ Lee during what seems to be every Divas match since Summerslam. At one point she said, “All I want is to be the Divas champion every year, all year long.” I wonder where she picked up that sort of entitled thinking. Enough negativity. There are quite a few people out there who assume Nikki Bella is sleeping her way to the top of the WWE, but I’m not one of them. While I do think that Nikki is most certainly superficial, I don’t think her relationship with John Cena is politically motivated. If she wanted to reach the top of the company, she would have already, instead it’s six years into her career and she’s just now establishing a personal identity. There’s a world of difference between being a gold digger and being shallow. That’s all I have to say on that.
Feed Me More Big Red
I thought it was kind of comical when JBL referred to Erick Rowan as Big Red on Raw, but now it seems as though the nickname is starting to stick. Is anybody going to tell WWE Creative that Big Red is gum? They should have named him “Fruit Stripe” Erick Rowan. Even though this was just a standard episode of Smackdown, a lot can be said for Ryback and Rowan competing in the main event. I thought it was a very well-rounded contest complete with all aspects necessary to appease each athletes discernible talents. Seth Rollins seems like the kind of wrestler that can have a good match with virtually anyone he’s booked with. His natural chemistry with Ryback as well as his chaotic interplay across from Big Red Rowan has Seth Rollins poised to be the biggest villain in WWE for the next ten years. Nothing blatantly sticks out as below average, I just wish the announcers and superstars would stop using the phrase, “WWE’s version of a demolition derby.” What out-of-touch redneck thought that was a good sales pitch for a wrestling event? The WWE appears to be manufacturing main eventers at double-speed these days, which leads me to wonder whether they have any concrete plans for next year. TLC… And Stairs is the last pay-per-view of the year and is the first event to follow WWE’s Free November promotion, so I’ll be interested to see what the WWE does to capitalize.
This was a much better episode of Smackdown than what we’ve experienced in previous weeks. As 2014 draws to a close, we inch nearer to Smackdown’s return to Thursdays and hopefully the dawning of a new era as far as the “B-show” is concerned. The biggest takeaway from this particular episode was the lack of established stars and decision to rely on younger talents to carry the program. There was no John Cena, no Randy Orton, no Mark Henry. Could this be the beginning of what I predicted in my article titled, “The Wrestling Era”? If Smackdown continues to deliver this sort of show on a weekly basis, we are in for a thrilling 2015. Until next time, my name is Mark Haggerty and this week’s Smackdown was most certainly COOKIN!
