What’s Cookin & What Doesn’t Matter
Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown
Written by Mark Adam Haggerty
Two weeks removed from the Royal Rumble and gaining tread on the Road to Wrestlemania, the WWE is back with another 2-hour broadcast courtesy of the "Thursday Night Delight" known simply as Smackdown. "Blue Raw" is fast becoming the show to satisfy wrestling fans as it is comprised almost completely of in-ring excitement as opposed to the scripted TV we're privy to each and every Monday. This week's show was another welcome change as it depicted professional wrestlers wrestling instead of working on their comedy act for Showtime at the Apollo. But with the good comes the bad and that's why I'm here each week to help steer you away from the unwatchable; my name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is "What's Cookin' and What Doesn't Matter: Your Weekly Smackdown Breakdown."
The show is off to a sizzling start when the Miz and his personal assistant Mizdow make their way to the ring for this week's installment of Miz TV. Tonight's edition will feature the two men who will head into Fastlane eager to be named number one contender to Brock Lesnar's WWE World Heavyweight title—Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Before his guests arrive, the Miz must first put his former stunt-double in his place, but it's not long before Roman Reigns enters and teaches the Miz a similar lesson by Superman Punching the A-lister off of his own show. Bryan stood-by smiling, however it wouldn't be long until the comradery turned to talk of the title. As the two babyfaces set to square off right then-and-there on Smackdown, Seth Rollins and the Authority emerged through the curtain to once again play the greater evil in the WWE. Seth acted on behalf of the Triple and Stephanie by making plans for later in the evening, including a three-on-one handicap match pitting Daniel Bryan against Rollins and J&J Security. While I still groan at the idea of opening each and every main roster show with drawn-out dialogue, I must marvel at how well-paced the opening segment of Smackdown is compared to Raw, allowing time for SEVEN matches. A COOKIN' segment especially the initial interplay involving the Miz.
The idea of pairing Dolph Ziggler with Ryback strikes me as a curious decision perhaps brought on by a lack of creative direction for either character. Both men are established as upper-mid card entities and after the Survivor Series and subsequent firings, it would behoove the WWE not to promote these Superstars. Although working as a part of a tag team leaves little room for creative expression, the recent alliance between Cesaro and Kidd could mean the WWE is attempting to resurrect a seemingly dead division. We could very well see Dolph Ziggler and Ryback battling Cesaro and Tyson Kidd at this year's Wrestlemania in Santa Clara—what a phenomenal tag team contest that would be! As for tonight's brawl with the Rhodes Brothers, the real story coming out of Smackdown is the continued crisis on �Team Dust.' Monday night Cody snapped at his brother for calling him by his name rather than "Stardust," and tonight Cody left Goldust to be slaughtered by the brute force of Ryback. Could this be another Wrestlemania match in the making; will we finally see Cody Rhodes and his big brother Dustin duke it out at the Granddaddy of Them All? Some might say that the potential rivalry has passed its prime, but I beg to differ and hope to see the combustion of the Rhodes boys at Wrestlemania 31. While this match was nothing to brag about, it did further the story between Cody and Goldust, and introduced fans to the combined forces of Dolph Ziggler and Ryback, so I'm inclined to say it was COOKIN!
Curtis Axel is back with the same �axe' to grind about the Royal Rumble and the way he was treated this past Monday night on Raw. He stormed the ring, demanding his title shot at Wrestlemania, pointing to the �Mania logo like an utter bafoon, until the chainsaw-like chord ripped through the arena and the music of the Lunatic Fringe began to play. Dean Ambrose entered a packed house looking to make a name for himself in terms of the intercontinental title picture. Dean made short work of Axel, and was ultimately met by Bad News Barrett transmitting live from the BNZ studios across the enormous Titantron. Their feud, although mere days old by this point, is heating up and it'll only be a matter of time until Dean Ambrose is challenging Bad News for the coveted white championship belt. Although we got a glimpse at the potential BNZ gimmick and a view as to what this program is all about, I wasn't really feeling anything outside of the comedy courtesy of Curtis Axel. I have to say this segment didn't matter.
Two matches down and a third set to begin before the one-hour mark—this Smackdown is moving forward at full speed. Inside the squared circle is the rechristened, darker Fandango who's dancing alongside his newest squeeze, Rosa Mendez. The music hit and the one group of people on the planet that know it's party time ALL THE TIME made their way to ringside. Once upon the apron however, the unparalleled Adam Rose began to second guess whether or not he should trust his entourage to catch him during their routine trust fall. He finally gave in and his worries were justifiable when the entire group plummeted to the ground. Rose was livid and attacked the closest members of the Party Posse, singling out the human hotdog before finally heading into his match with Fandango. The darker side of both individuals seems to work to their credit and this was an enjoyable contest that saw Fandango get the better of an understandably distracted Adam Rose. I love Adam Rose, so by default, this match and the hijinks therein were 100% COOKIN!
This past Monday I spoke as to why the Miz is a perfect person for someone like Damien Sandow to work with in order to achieve the greatest possible success. The Miz is a Triple Crown Champion having held the three most prestigious belts in WWE history in addition to the alternate world tag titles, the United States championship, as well as the Money in the Bank briefcase. It would be hard to find a Superstar as decorated as the Miz currently working on the main WWE roster, and if Sandow were to work with someone such as John Cena or the Big Show, he'd most certainly be squashed inside of a month. But the Miz is a perfectly malleable worker who is capable of elevating his opponents through his own selfless dedication. His match this evening with Roman Reigns was maybe Reigns' best singles contest outside of his match with Randy Orton at Summerslam. It also made sense that both men would care to engage in battle after the events of Miz TV earlier in the evening. The WWE gets ridiculed for constantly beginning programs and letting them die without warning, and this was a prime example of tying up loose ends and using ones assets to their advantage. This was my match of the night with special consideration going to the Miz who doesn't get nearly the credit he deserves, but with plenty of positives out of Roman Reigns as well. If the Samoan with the Superman Punch can continue to have contests like these between now and Wrestlemania, we might be privy to a compelling showdown at Levi's Stadium. COOKIN' without a doubt!
I'm generally much higher on Rusev and his performance both in the ring and on the mic, but I thought his match with Rowan was borderline boring. It was exciting enough with all of the powerful high spots both big men are known for, but it never hooked me the same way some of the other matches this evening did. I also don't find Rowan terribly interesting as a babyface character, I think it's akin to when Mankind stopped being hardcore and starting hanging out with clowns. This was a miss-able match, one that Rusev most certainly won as he gets set to walk into Memphis to take on John Cena at Fastlane—it doesn't matter.
After the WWE decided to paint Paige brown on Raw, she's back in action against Alicia Fox once more, this time without any outlandish outside interference. I really enjoy Paige and even Alicia Fox to a degree, but the young �Brit' makes me especially excited for what may be ahead in the WWE's Diva Division. Charlotte recently gave an interview in which she said she'd like to headline a pay-per-view one day; could that be in the cards for the women as the main roster product continues to evolve, and might Paige be daring enough to take on the daughter of Ric Flair on such a grand stage? While that remains to be seen, what does not is the rest of this match which goes in favor of Paige who is now burning on all cylinders preparing to challenge Nikki Bella for the Diva's championship in just two weeks at Fastlane. For fans of female wrestling this might not have been your favorite altercation, but in the wacky world of sports entertainment, I thought this exhibition between Paige and Alicia Fox was pretty good—COOKIN' in fact!
What began as an exciting night of innovative and progressive wrestling, ended with the same contrived brand of predictable handicap booking we've come to expect from the biggest name in the industry. I've learned to take the good with the bad when it comes to WWE, and although the main event was flooded by a deluge of unnecessary set-ups and high spots, I can take solace in the fact that Daniel Bryan was victorious. He fought the odds and battled Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury to a comically precedented victory, only to fall at the hands of Kane. The biggest takeaways from the main event were the uncanny physical attributes and charisma of Mercury and Noble who could very well join the active roster tomorrow and be in line for a mid-card singles run. This match would have been better positioned on Raw, because after the one-on-one between Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins that closed the show Monday, I was in no mood for this overly booked Hollywood-writer bout—I wanted a wrestling match! I suppose it was worth watching until the end as the finale of Raw and Smackdown tend to lead directly into the next episode, but for all intents and purposes, you could have very well stopped watching Smackdown after Reigns wrestled the Miz. That means it doesn't matter!
Nothing groundbreaking on the SyFy Network, but a much more enjoyable ride than the likes of which we've been stuck on since around Survivor Series. The WWE appears to be working programs from the inside in a way that takes advantage of the dying days of Kayfabe. What may lie ahead for Daniel Bryan, for Roman Reigns, and what might we expect going into a highly volatile situation with the King of Kings and the Sting of Stings ? The WWE is picking up where they left off with compelling storytelling and robust personalities; let's hope for the best as we continue along the bumpy street heading into Santa Clara, California. Until next time my name is Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to keep it here at Cheap-Heat for all the latest and greatest columns, countdowns and coverage spanning the world of professional wrestling.
