Results: TNA Impact Wrestling – 3/8/12 – Complete Report
We start the show off with a video package recapping the recent history of Garett Bischoff's career, his father and Ric Flair's warnings to stay out of the business, and Hulk Hogan telling him that he's got a target on his back because of his father. We then go out to the parking lot where Garett arrives at the arena and tells the Mystery Cameraman that he hasn't changed his mind, and he's going to continue his career regardless of what his dad thinks.
We go to the Impact Zone as Eric Bischoff, Flair, and Gunner open the show so Eric can say that he has to settle more family business tonight. Garett has pushed so hard that he asked Sting to let Gunner pick a partner to face Garett and a partner of his choosing for tonight on Impact. Bischoff says he and Flair have worked together for 20 years through a lot of ups and downs, but he was looking out for Garett like he would look out for his own son by telling him not to come back and face the serious, and possibly permanent, consequences. Flair did that because he's a true professional, and he has Eric's gratitude, but Garett is going to have a real tough time finding a partner because nobody in their right mind would want to be his partner. He ponders on who might be Gunner's partner tonight, but Kurt Angle's music hits and he comes out with his big creepy smile one. He said he'll be happy to team with Gunner against Eric's disrespectful son because he hates Garett for not respecting his father. When Angle grew up, he listened to his dad and he became an Olympic gold medalist. Eric has great advice but Garett just doesn't listen to him, and everybody hates all the Bischoffs, but he's going to team with Gunner anyway and make Garett tap, tap, and tap again.
Meanwhile, Garett is backstage looking upset at this turn of events and we're left to wonder who would possibly want to team with him. In the meantime, Sting is in the bathroom smearing what I presume to be facepaint all over himself while coming unhinged and cutting a promo on Bobby Roode in the mirror telling him he has ten days to go. Eric Young wanders in to hang out with Sting and ask him for his blessing to propose to ODB tonight in the ring. Sting says he's got it and says that she wants it all: diamonds, gold, and a title shot. He makes a match with ODB challenging for the Knockouts Tag Team Title tonight, and Eric Young is going to be his partner. He smears paint on Eric's face and tells him that he's a WARR-YAH and to go out there and be a WARR-YAH before going back to cutting his promo on Roode in the mirror. WHAT a bizarre open to the show!
Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne vs ODB & Eric Young
Well, I guess it was about time for our quarterly Knockouts Tag Team Title defense anyway. ODB and Gail have a slugfest and Gail tries to go up top, but ODB powers her off the top and hits a powerslam before shaking her boobs at Madison. Madison comes in to dish out some punishment, but ODB sits on the top turnbuckle and repeatedly rams Madison's face into her crotch before hitting a Thesz Press for 2. Gail hits a hanging neckbreaker over the top rope when the ref had his back turned and Madison dumps her out to the floor where Gail puts the boots to her. Gail sends ODB back in and they hit a series of double teams, finishing with a bulldog from Madison for 2. ODB spears Madison out of nowhere and both sides make hot tags, and Eric keeps evading Gail's attack to tie up with the referee instead. He gets both Madison and Gail in a double fireman's carry into an airplane spin. He dumps them both and staggers around before covering Gail for 2. ODB mows them both down with a double clothesline, but goes to the outside and Madison rams her into the ring steps. Gail unloads on Eric in the ring, and he responds by pulling his pants down and grabbing her. Madison comes in from behind with one of the title belts and hits Eric from behind, and he falls on top of Gail with a sex cover and Gail, unable to wriggle out from under his girth, is easy prey for a three count.
Winners and NEW Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Eric Young & ODB
ODB celebrates their championship win, but Eric stops and holds her hand, drops to one knee, and pulls an engagement ring out of…well, somewhere I guess. I didn't see and don't care to rewind and find out. ODB looks stunned, but we'll have to wait until after the commercial to find out what her answer is! Okay, we're back and EY says that they have a lot of momentum on their side: they're champions, they just got the studio apartment they had their eyes on, and it's the right time to do what he's going to do. He asks her if she'll marry him and holds out the ring to him, she takes it and considers for a moment, then drops to one knee and asks if he'll marry her. He goes "YES! YES! YES!" and puts the ring on himself, then bails out of the ring to run around ringside and high five the fans before coming back into the ring and jumping into her arms before they collapse to the mat and roll around making out with each other.
We go out to the ring where…some fat guy shows up and passes through security for some business he's here on. We then go backstage to Bully Ray, who says that memory loss is a sign of a concussion, but he'll remind James Storm that he's the guy who gave him a concussion. He's not making it to Lockdown, because he's going to take him out. Then we go somewhere ELSE in the back, and Aries (who is impressed that Sting has Twitter AND email now) looks at his smartphone and discovers that he's defending the X Division Title against Zema Ion later tonight. He says it's bad business, but he'll beat Ion and then skip the PPV entirely.
X Division Title Match: Austin Aries vs Zema Ion
Aries starts off taking a side headlock and working it hard, Ion tries to send him to the ropes but Aries catches the hair and they roll around on the mat until Aries gets his short dropkick and runs around ringside with his arms raised in victory. Aries comes back in with a rolling senton and a high impact elbowdrop for 2. Zema responds by dragging Aries out to the floor and ramming his back into the ring apron, then they both go to the top rope andAries chops Zema off the corner and to the floor. Aries goes for a Macho Man double axhandle to the floor, but Ion moves and Aries hits the guardrail. Ion rolls Aries back in and covers for 2, then goes up top for a 450 splash but misses. Aries starts to fire back but Ion goes to the eyes and then crawls over to try and grab his can of hairspray. He gets it and slips it into his trunks as Aries grabs him, Zema escapes a brainbuster attempt and takes out the spray can and tries to spray Aries when the ref's back is turned, who ducks and nails Ion. Ion drops the spray can and Aries picks it up and casually spray it in Ion's face, but the referee turns around and sees what's going on and disqualifies Aries.
Winner: Zema Ion by DQ
The mystery businessman walks into the locker room and introduces himself to Velvet Sky as Abyss' brother and asks if he's seen Abyss around anywhere. Velvet says she hasn't, so he thanks her for her time and walks out.
Bully Ray is in the ring and says Calfzilla is here, he gave James Storm a concussion, he deserves to be the number one contender, and he wants Sting to come down and name him the number one contender. Looks like Bubba picked the wrong week to ask for extra attention, because Crazy Sting comes out to the ring telling Bubba he'll do him a favah. He says he can't just make a match because he injured somebody, and Bubba says he can do whatever he wants to, so he wants Sting to make him the number one contender. Sting makes Bubba repeat several times that he wants Bobby Roode, so Sting says he likes a guy with conviction and tells him that he's got Roode. He high fives Bubba, and Bubba thanks him profusely, so Sting says that's the kind of GM he is and the match will be on right after the break.
We go backstage as Bobby Roode is yelling at Sting that he can't defend the title tonight, and Sting says he's not because he's got the title defense against James Storm at Lockdown, but for right now, Bubba is waiting for him in the ring.
World Champion Bobby Roode vs Bully Ray
Roode tries to make friends with Bubba and shake his hand, but Bubba says "You gonna be a punk? Come on and fight me, World Champion!" Bubba takes Roode to the corner, but Roode gets a side headlock, Bubba fires him off to the ropes and runs him over with a shoulderblock. Roode shoves Bubba, Bubba shoves Roode on his ass, and Roode slaps Bubba in the face. The crowd goes "OHHHHHHHHH!" as Bubba slowly utrns back to Roode with his "I'm gonna F'n kill you" face, but Roode with a kick to the gut and a series of heavy elbows and right hands. Roode hits the ropes but Bubba gets a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP and a side suplex for 2. Roode fires back at him, but Bubba goes back to unloading on him with heavy bombs until Roode gets another kick ot the gut and a Blockbuster for 2. Bubba is on his knees and Roode starts punching down at him, but Bubba absorbs the punishment and fires back at him, hitting another BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP, a splash in the corner, and a uranage for 2. Roode dodges a big boot and Roode spears him for 2, but Bubba lays him out and grabs his chain. The referee yells at Bubba to drop the chain, but he's still ready to unload on the champion until James Storm runs in and chases Bubba off. He yells kind words at Bubba before turning around and superkicking Roode's teeth down his throat, then grabs the World Title belt, kisses it, and tosses it on top of Roode's prone form. Okay, no finish so we'll call it…
NO CONTEST
We go backstage to Garett Bischoff, who says he's been in the ring with Gunner, but now he's got to deal with Kurt Angle and that's big time. The Mystery Cameraman asks if he's picked a partner yet, and Garett says he has and everyone will have to wait to find out.
Matt Morgan and Crimson are backstage and Abyss' brother walks in and asks if they know anything about Abyss and his whereabots, but they don't know anything either so he thanks them and leaves. Crimson continues by saying that they lost, it happens, it doesn't matter that Morgan lost the fall, and they need to concentrate on beating Robbie E and Robbie T tonight.
Matt Morgan & Crimson vs Robbie E & Robbie T
Morgan tears through Robbie E, but then Crimson and Robbie T come in and Robbie T destroys Crimson, slamming him hard and pounding on him with hard forearms. Crimson fires back and hits a chinbreaker, but Robbie E nails Crimson from the outside with the A-List clipboard when the referee wasn't looking. Robbie T picks Crimson up and hits a side suplex and then Robbie E tags in and hits a second rope elbowdrop for 1. Robbie T whips Robbie E into the corner with a shoulderblock to the ribs followed by a clothesline from Robbie T, then a from powerslam for 2. Robbie T keeps unloading with hard forearms and flexes at the crowd, but Crimson with a shot out of nowhere and he tags out to Morgan, who comes in and cleans house on both Robbies. He clotheslines Robbie T to the floor and flattens Robbie E with the Carbon Footprint, but Crimson tags himself in and covers Robbie E for the win.
Winners: Matt Morgan & Crimson
Morgan looks at Crimson in disbelief, but they've now earned another shot at the World Tag Team Title. Sounds great to me!
AJ Styles says Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian are now just former friends to him, but he's got a way to deal with them and they're not going to like it.
Gunner is backstage with his partner for the evening and says that there's no reason he wouldn't want Kurt Angle as his partner, and Angle says it doesn't matter who Gunner's partner is going to be tonight because they're taking him out and that's damn real.
AJ Styles comes out to the ring and says that TNA is coming up on its tenth anniversary and he couldn't be prouder than he is to be a part of making this place what it's been (crowd starts TNA and AJ chants), and he's fought a lot of fights and a lot of big names have come through the company…oh wait, Daniels and Kazarian come out to interrupt him. Daniels says that as the new face of Impact Wrestling, he feels compelled to claim his place in the company. He came back here to stand by AJ's side, but while his friendship got AJ fortune and fame, but all AJ's friendship got him was reprimanded, punished, and fired, and that's why he decided to put himself first and encourage AJ to do the same thing. Kazarian asks AJ if he really wants to know why everyone has turned their backs on him, and says it's because he's gullible and trusting. He's out here naming all these people who have turned their backs on him, and he asks if AJ ever stopped to think that the problem isn't with everyone else, but maybe it's something with AJ and that he's a disease that needs to be cured. He's the Phenomenal AJ Styles and he's never to blame for anything, ever. On this quest for answers, maybe AJ better think about whether that's why he has no friends. AJ doesn't need any friends, because all he sees out here is backstabbing pricks, and they're the reasons he's not going to associate with friends anymore. Instead, he'll take up with an…ASSHOLE. Ken Anderson comes out of the back and he and AJ beat the crap out of Daniels and Kazarian in the ring. Daniels and Kazarian head for the hills as Anderson and AJ stand triumphant.
Garett sticks his head into a locker room and asks some mysterious person if he's ready, and then heads out to the ring. I think it's got to be Goldberg. Or the Ultimate Warrior. That would be COOL!
It's main event time!
Gunner & Kurt Angle vs Garett Bischoff & Jeff Hardy
Angle and Gunner jump Garett and dump him out to the floor, then double team Hardy. Gunner heads out to the apron as Angle puts the boots to Hardy and chokes him on the bottom rope. Angle gets a snap suplex for 2, then goes to a front facelock. Hardy escapes and lays Angle out with a clothesline, but Gunner knocks Garett off the apron and allows Angle to drag Hardy back to his corner so Gunner can tag in and cover Hardy for 2. Hardy fires back at Gunner, but gets rammed into the corner and Kurt Angle tags in as we go to commercial.
We're back and Angle has Hardy caught in a rear chinlock. Hardy escapes, but gets caught and popped up in an overhead release suplex from Angle. Angle dumps Hardy out to the floor and goes to hassle Garett so Gunner can attack Hardy on the floor while the referee is distracted. Gunner comes in and works Hardy over, then tags in Angle, Angle gets caught in a small package, but Gunner distracts the referee and Angle is able to free himself. Gunner with a sleeperhold on Hardy, Angle goes after Garett on the floor as Hardy tries to make the tag, and Gunner manages to drag Hardy back to hiscorner, but Hardy breaks free andfinally makes the tag to Garett, who comes in and cleans house on Angle. He actually does a really good job in there as he flapjacks Angle, dropkicks Gunner off the ring apron,and hits a Silver Slice on Angle for 2. Garett with a double clothesline on both Angle and Gunner and then Hardy hits the Swanton on Angle for the win.
Winners: Garett Bischoff & Jeff Hardy
The winners celebrate in the ring and we call it a night.
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